


You're the Hero

by ChangeTheCircumstances



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid & Teen AU for some chapters, M/M, Multiverse, Spoilers, Time Skips, What if Cliff raised Sam?, What would change?, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 187,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21515122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangeTheCircumstances/pseuds/ChangeTheCircumstances
Summary: Clifford Unger opened his eyes.The gun was still there. Lisa's heart monitor beeped away. But he hadn't fired the gun yet. He hadn't fired because he suddenly knew what was about to happen. Or what could happen if seemingly inconsequential choices were made, like taking a few seconds too long or turning down a different corridor.They weren't memories exactly. It was impossible how to describe them, but what was important was the information he got from them. He knew what to do. He knew how to save himself and his BB.
Relationships: Lockne & Målingen | Mama, Other Relationships Included - Relationship, Sam Porter Bridges & Clifford Unger & Higgs Monaghan, Sam Porter Bridges & Fragile & Higgs Monaghan, Sam Porter Bridges & Higgs Monaghan, Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Comments: 191
Kudos: 653





	1. A Strand to a Child

**Author's Note:**

> So this was an idea that I basically had the moment I finished the game and read through Higgs' diary. A) What if Cliff really was the hero of the main game? B) What if Cliff had raised Sam? and C) What if Higgs had gotten out of his abusive childhood without having to murder his "father"?
> 
> Basically that's what I'm going to try and answer. Other characters will make appearances though I think Fragile will probably be a main character in this too, just not positive yet or when she'll come in hence no tag for her right now. Higgs will probably show up by chapter 3 or 4 depending on how I space things out and his relationship with Cliff and Sam will be pretty important for this story. Also fair warning there may be Sam/Higgs later on. I definitely plan on their relationship being important to this, just not sure if I want to make it romantic or not yet.
> 
> Either way this will probably be a long fic as I plan to highlight Sam and Higgs' moments growing up while also continuing into the game of the story. Anyways, hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading!

Clifford Unger opened his eyes.

He stared down at the pillow over his wife’s face. Only he hadn’t… Lisa was still…

They weren’t memories. That wasn’t accurate enough. But there was a new sense of understanding in Cliff’s mind. He’d known what he’d had to do before, but he’d been so god damn afraid. He’d been so torn up. He’d pointed a gun at so many people and now his wife—

But no. This would be a mercy. His wife didn’t deserve to be stuck in this in between hell just as their son didn’t deserve it. He had to set them both free.

Cliff still looked away, but this time he didn’t freeze. He didn’t slowly remove his gun and think about how he’d just put a bullet through his wife’s head. Neither did he repeatedly assure his son that his father was there as his brain stuttered and froze. No, he acted quickly and swiftly just as John had told him to.

Cliff took the pod and left the room without looking back. He knew the instructions that John had given him like the back of his hand, but his body moved him in a different direction.

It wasn’t a memory. It was closer to a broken path, like he’d tried it once only for the whole event to get reset. He took that second chance to heart. He couldn’t screw this up.

As his feet carried him through the building, he didn’t immediately run into anyone. When the alarms finally went off, he hid in the first room he could find and waited with bated breath as personnel quickly headed in the opposite direction. He had to try and remain undetected for as long as possible. He would have a better chance at escaping. It would be marginal, but still better. His son would not remain stuck in this pod. Cliff would die before he allowed that to happen.

He kept going. One arm cradled the pod. The other held the gun in the air, poised and ready. He turned a new corner. Ever since that first crossroads, he’d felt like this was new, unfamiliar territory. Technically, all of this had to be new. There was no way he could have shot his wife twice. Yet here he was laying down a new path despite how he physically hadn’t walked another path before. At least not to his current knowledge. He just had to make another turn here and—

“There he is!”

A gun went off. A scream sounded.

“No! You’ll hurt it!”

The President and the guards ducked as Clifford sprayed four shots right back. That left two. Those remaining bullets would fail even more to hold down cover fire. He would have to use them for something else. To kill? He could only kill two and that was assuming he would get clear kill shots. That would do him no good. Ultimately, he would only kill if he absolutely had to. Maybe he could use the shots to break down the systems of a door, buy him some time if he needed it instead. But there were still only two that he could use. Two shots and—

He was bleeding.

Nothing major had been hit or else he would already be on the ground. BB was crying loud and hard. He wanted to comfort him so badly but there was no time. The only action he risked was a quick look down. Shrapnel from the bullet had managed to break through his skin and into the pod from one side. The liquid was leaking out but thankfully his baby didn’t look physically hurt. Still, there was no telling what this was doing to his son. He had to get him out of this pod soon, get him stable.

But first they had to get free of this fucking place.

Now the guards were zeroing in on him. He did shoot a keypad that slowed down further progress, but it wouldn’t be enough. And now he had one last bullet. His mind tried to weigh the pros and cons in real time. When should he fire? What should he damage? Or who should he kill? Should he save it until the end? Aim it right at her face? The one who’d done this to his—

The choice came as a split-second decision. Cliff turned a new corner. He hit a body and instinctively grabbed him, holding a gun to his head. A hostage would only last so long and he only had the one bullet. If the president caught up with them again, would she choose BB over one soldier? Over one—

“John,” whispered Cliff. The name had processed long after he was dragging his hostage towards the planned exit. Now it made since though, why the hostage hadn’t immediately spoken out, hadn’t fought back or even just gone limp. He’d seemed to be moving with Cliff, making the escape easier. And he was.

John turned his head slightly, likely to avoid being caught by a camera so that his lips couldn’t be read. “The entire place is in chaos. You have your chance. Keep going before they catch up.”

Cliff didn’t respond like John hadn’t said anything at all. He simply continued the awkward progress of keeping John at gunpoint as he held his son against his body. They did come into contact with security, but John had them stand down and thankfully the president wasn’t with them to refute the order. With that they were so close—

They left the facility. Lower security personnel screamed and froze, unsure of what was going on. Being in a more public setting was exactly what they needed though. The president wouldn’t be able to do anything rash if she caught up with them now. However, they seemed to get lucky as Cliff got into an all-terrain vehicle first. John instinctively got in too like he’d been forced despite how Cliff hadn’t asked him to.

Since they were finally safe to talk, Cliff quickly said the most important fact. “You won’t come with us.” He knew duty well. He knew that when John had said he would have to follow the president’s orders, he would.

However, John replied, “I’m not. You’re taking me hostage and when I finally make my way back to civilization, I’ll tell Bridget to look in the opposite direction. Besides, you’ll need someone to help stitch you up and it’s only fitting I finally play that role for you rather than the other way around.”

Cliff readjusted his arm so the gun really was pointing at John now. “Then in case anyone is watching, I am ordering you on risk of death to get us the hell out of here.”

“Understood sir.”

And with that, John drove away and all the horrors Cliff had been facing disappeared in the dust.

By this point, the original explosions had been proven to not be terrorist attacks. Cliff knew the term voidout and the general idea, even if he didn’t understand all the science behind it. However, he didn’t know how much the rest of the world understood as America had become shut off from the world. Major cities like Dallas and Chicago and San Francisco were already gone. Currently New York had somehow managed to survive but it was clear America as the world knew it was already crumbling. Cliff had known it before now but obviously his focus had been on his family. Now he thanked the breaking of society. The roads weren’t completely destroyed meaning it was still relatively easy to drive across the country, though timefall would soon see the end of that. However, the structure of America was very much gone which meant disappearing would be far easier than during the central age of technology that Cliff’s earlier adulthood had lived through.

What a world for a child to grow up in. This would never have been the future Cliff wished for his son, but considering it was a future at all, Cliff chose to be so grateful for it.

“There’s a prepper a few hours away that will help us,” John finally said as they left civilization behind.

“Prepper?”

“Right, you haven’t really been focused on the outside world since…yeah. It’s what people have been calling those that previously prepared for the end in their bunkers with mountains of food and supplies. Some call them fortune tellers. Once we would have called them paranoid doomsayers. It seems like preppers has stuck though.”

Cliff just nodded. He focused back on BB. The liquid of the pod hadn’t completely disappeared but it was clear his baby was in great distress in the broken contraption. “I don’t think we have a few hours.”

John glanced first at the pod and then at the increasing blood growing in Cliff’s midsection. “Neither will you. We’ll stop in just a few more minutes. Just until we find a place to easily get off without risk of getting stuck.”

Cliff nodded. The only sound that now occurred was the crying of BB. Cliff didn’t move the pod, again the thing being too broken. He couldn’t risk hurting his son further. However, he did begin to hum, softly at first until his words slipped out in slightly disjunct whispers.

Finally, they pulled off to the side.

John’s eyes quickly scanned the horizon checking for the recognizable squall of timefall. However, there was nothing on the horizon. The sky was clear, though it of course could change in an instant. With that in mind, Cliff stayed inside as John got out and checked the trunk. He came back quickly, getting back into the safety of the truck with several items in hand.

“It seems this was meant to deliver supplies to a nearby city. I don’t know how you did it sir, but you were damn lucky.” John made a move to take materials that would clearly be meant for Cliff, but he shook his head.

“No, BB first.”

John hesitated for only a second. Then he and Cliff were carefully taking the baby out of the pod. They supported the kid as the remaining liquid hit the floor of the truck. Cliff carefully brought feeling back into his son. He’d suddenly quieted a dangerous amount. John pulled out a blanket, possibly just meant for warmth, maybe originally sent to a medic to use as a shock blanket. Now they carefully wrapped BB up in it and Cliff fully held his son. BB started to grow more and more still. Cliff resisted the urge to rub his son’s tiny limbs too furiously. This wouldn’t be the end. His son would have his future. He would live. He couldn’t just—

The crying started up again as BB’s eyes opened up to the world, half shut but still moving and aware.

“That’s it. That’s it,” whispered Cliff. He cradled his son, for a moment just watching and waiting. He half expected something terrible to happen. He felt like he hadn’t always gotten lucky in this instance. He’d held his son but only for a moment. Now? Now he was slowly realizing he would be able to hold his son forever.

“Now I need to take care of you.”

Cliff reluctantly nodded. A series of awkward movements occurred until Cliff was fully lying on the bench seat. He had his arms propping himself up and also cradling his son. John was sandwiched between the dash and seat edge as he pushed up Cliff’s shirt and started to go to work. He wasn’t a medic, but he knew enough to keep Cliff from bleeding out and to help prevent future infection.

“How—” Cliff paused so he could control his breathing at a particularly harsh motion. “How do you know this prepper will help us?”

“Because he hates me,” John replied. “He’s a former scientist. Bridget wanted me to try and recruit him to better understand the Death Stranding, but even before the world went to shit he was pretty eccentric. Already isolated himself even before preppers or whatever you want to call them started popping up all over the country.”

“And that means he’ll help?”

“He gets to screw over the president of the United States. Of course he will.”

Cliff snorted. He paused to check on BB, gently stroking his child and making sure he was still breathing.

“You won’t be able to stay with him of course,” John added. “It would be temporary at best.”

“I’d want to get farther away anyways,” Cliff replied.

“I would suggest that as well.” Then John focused back on Cliff’s wound and the two remained silent until he finally finished. With the last snip, the three awkwardly reshuffled right as timefall began to hit the surrounding area.

“Let’s hurry. Best to get out of this as quickly as possible.”

John nodded in agreement and drove them back onto the road.

Hours passed with barely any talking in between. They’d talked more on the battlefield. They’d talked to know they were alive, still kicking. But now there wasn’t need for that reassurance. The only sound was the timefall outside, the hum of the truck, and BB’s soft noises escaping from his cocooned blanket.

As the timefall began to let up, they went off the main roads again. They went down a dirt one for a while, up into the tree covered canopy. It got a little bumpy. BB started crying more loudly but Cliff managed to quite him again with some slight rocking. They stopped outside a log cabin. The place was already crumbling and beginning to decay. With one look at John, the man explained, “His bunker is his basement. It’s not as high tech as most younger preppers have, but it’s underground and it’ll last for his needs.”

“He’s old then?”

“Very. But don’t worry. He has the necessary equipment to alert the nearest group when he flatlines so they get here in time. He may not like society but he has no plans on becoming the next voidout.”

Cliff nodded in understanding. The timefall had stopped but they both threw on protective covering that John had gotten from the back.

John didn’t hesitate to walk right in. It was clear that the actual cabin had long been abandoned. Cliff carefully covered BB’s face, not wanting his son to breath in anything molding or off. Within the house, the door that led to the basement had been refitted. John walked up and banged on it. It didn’t take long for a speaker to sound out.

“I told you and the president I want no part in your fucking experiments!”

“Then how about sending a fuck you to the government instead?” replied John.

Now there was a much longer sound of silence. Cliff wondered if the man would respond at all. However, after several more painstaking moments, several noises could be heard behind the door until it was finally opened.

The man was old. Old enough that with slightly poorer health he likely could have avoided this whole Death Stranding process all together. However, he was clearly still kicking as he suspiciously looked at both of them.

“I don’t care how little we talked. You’re not the type to take the moral high road.”

John didn’t bristle or flinch. He simply reworded the old man’s sentence. “I can’t betray my duty. But that also means not betraying the duty I owe to my commanding officer. He needs help. As does his son.”

Cliff showed just a slightest bit of his son’s face to prove that he was there. Recognition seemed to fall on the old man’s eyes. His words were clearly directed at John. “So when it happens to someone close, that finally changes things. Huh?”

John didn’t deny it. He simply replied, “Will you help him?”

The old man let out a disgruntled sigh. “Well unlike you, I’m willing to help those I don’t know.” He turned around, leaving the door open and the invitation clear.

John followed and Cliff held up the rear. The poorly lit downwards staircase became more open the farther they went. The walls had been reinforced with steel, covering up any wood or dirt cellar floor that had been there. There were vents to the outside though the air still smelled somewhat stale.

They walked into the main room area. Shelves covered the walls and there were a mess of supplies and scientific equipment everywhere. The old man grabbed a cardboard box full of cans. He dumped them onto the floor. They rolled to and fro as the old man held it out.

“It’s not much of a first crib but it’ll have to do.”

“Thank you,” murmured Cliff.

The old man showed them to a side room. It looked like it had once been a laundry room though the machines were long gone and more items were stored everywhere. Cliff set BB in the box and placed it on a nearby stack of other boxes. He remained near as his son’s small hand came up and curled around Cliff’s finger. The old man was back in the main room, muttering unintelligible things and looking for who knew what. It allowed both Cliff and John a moment of privacy as they looked on at the baby.

“What will you name him?” John softly asked.

“Lisa and I were planning on waiting until he was born. Or at least a little further along.”

John didn’t respond.

Cliff and Lisa had of course discussed names. But nothing concrete had been determined. He looked down and for a moment, didn’t think he would be able to come up with anything on the fly. However, it was almost like he’d been told his son’s name by somebody else. By perhaps his son himself…

“Sam.”

“It’s a good name. A simple name.”

Cliff nodded. It felt right. “I’ll have to lose mine soon though.”

“At least your last name,” agreed John. “But I doubt the president will look for you for much longer. There are bigger issues at stake, and she can’t waste time on one BB.”

Cliff turned silent for a moment. He focused on his son’s too small hand, still wrapped around his finger. It was his…Sam. Little Sam. Lisa, Cliff, and Sam. It would have been such a perfect, small family. He looked up at John. “You knew about the experiments. That BBs were never planned to leave their pod.”

John’s eyes shut quickly. “I never knew they got you into it. Does that make me a bad person? That if anyone else had been standing by that bed, I wouldn’t have felt torn up in the slightest over the situation? Probably. But I didn’t know it was you sir. I never wanted this for you. Ever—”

“You don’t have to justify yourself to me.”

John looked up, hesitant as tears automatically rolled down his cheeks. He looked disheartened, like Cliff’s words couldn’t reach him. Yet he also looked desperate for that lifeline.

“I understand how duty can pull you apart at your seems. And you don’t have a child of your own to understand the duty I must take for him. I don’t know what the president is attempting, and I suspect you can’t explain, but you saved us. Thus, I can’t judge you in this.”

“You should,” he whispered. His lip trembled. “You should hate me. Wish me to finally die—”

“I spent so much time keeping you alive. I’m not letting all those moments go to waste now.”

“I don’t deserve this sir.”

“Everyone deserves a chance at life. I hope you’ll remember that. One last lesson from your commanding officer.”

“Yes sir—” John’s words were cut off as Cliff momentarily broke contact with his son to fully hug John. As Cliff held him close, John reached the same point albeit at a slower pace. His fingers tangled slightly at the base of Cliff’s hair. His voice choked as he whispered, “I wish you the best chance possible Clifford. You and B-Sam. And Sam.”

“Thank you for all that you risked for me.”

“I would risk it again. Every time,” whispered John.

Then he pulled back when Cliff did as well. Cliff patted him on the shoulder before turning back to Sam. He avoided looking at the backside of the last friend he had as he walked into the main room and then out of the bunker. Now Cliff truly was alone. Just him and his son.

And the old scientist of course.

The man came in not long after John had left. Cliff could tell the man seemed more at ease at having John gone, but he thankfully didn’t voice his opinion. Instead he handed Cliff a bottle. At Cliff’s hesitant look, the man wagged his finger at him. “I may not know how to organize my home but I know my craft. I already boiled the equipment too. It’s completely sanitary.”

“This doesn’t look like a normal bottle,” commented Cliff, looking at the thin plastic tube as an opening.

“He wasn’t delivered to term like he should have been. Or been allowed to develop normally either. You’ll have to insert that into his mouth and down at least for a week before he can properly suck from what you’re clearly expecting.”

Cliff nodded in understanding. He had to put his faith in this man despite how he hated uncertainties. Sadly, when it came to raising a child, all he had were uncertainties. The old scientist watched as he carefully picked up Sam and inserted the tube. There seem to be slight discomfort, but Sam quickly settled.

“Alright, that’s enough! Don’t want to drown him,” grumbled the scientist.

Cliff carefully but quickly retracted the tube. Sam seemed to be much calmer now. Cliff looked up. “So what now?”

“Well I sure as hell don’t need a grown man and a kid to take care of.”

“Of course,” Cliff quickly said. “I think it would be safer to leave the area soon as well.”

“Good. We’re on the same page then. I have a delivery man that brings me things that don’t keep well, what information he can get scientifically speaking too. He’ll move you for a fee.”

“I don’t know what I would give—”

“Not you. Me. I may not want you here long but I’m not that callous. Besides, your friend left what came in the truck. That’ll provide as good enough payment anyways,” interrupted the old man.

Cliff somewhat relaxed at that. “And he arrives…?”

“Five days from now. So strap in for a long week. And before you go, your boy’s umbilical chord should fully fall off but I may need to perform some quick surgery if things don’t go as they should.”

“You did seem to know about the experiments.”

“About them,” stressed the man. “Not their purpose or any details when they tried to pull me on. Classified. Didn’t need to know the details to know I didn’t want any part in it though. Now for you.”

“Me?”

“Antibiotics to prevent infection in your wound,” responded the old scientist as he went searching through a seemingly random set of boxes. “If you’re going to be a father, you’re going to need to get used to being less self-sacrificing like you damn army types always are so gung-ho to do. Dying isn’t brave when there’s no one to look after your kid and I suspect the last person that would have just walked out my bunker door. So turn around, quick, and pull up your shirt. Let’s make sure nothing’s started going wrong.”

After Cliff set Sam down, he followed the man’s instructions. He had a point. Now that his Sam had a future, now that he knew he had a future, Cliff couldn’t risk not being there for it. Nor could he risk damaging Sam’s future by making an instinctual sacrifice. He would argue that laying down one’s life for his child was brave, but leaving a child all alone to fend for himself was not. He would have to strike a balance going forward, always find a middle line that kept them both safe and the future ahead of them.

The remainder of the day was spent being held by the whims of the eccentric man. Only five more days and Cliff could start over though. Him and Sam could move on from the horrors of which his son had been born into.

After being given dinner and taking care of Sam again, the old man set Cliff and him up in a different side room that also partially housed storage. It wasn’t much on Cliff’s end, but he’d always been more comfortable sleeping on a hard, stone floor anyways. When he’d first come back from the battlefields, there had been more than one night where Lisa had found him on the floor, sleeping soundly with a backpack as a pillow.

Lisa…

If there was one thing that Cliff thought might resurface in his dreams, it was her. Whether as a nightmare of what had to be done, a beloved memory, or a bittersweet what-if, he wasn’t sure. The uncertainty made him want to stay awake, to watch their son all through the night instead. But no, he had to remain in peak condition for Sam. He needed to be able to protect him no matter what. That included taking care of himself.

So with that in mind, Cliff lied down by his son and mentally prepared himself for whatever would assault him in his dreams.

First there was darkness.

Then, Cliff landed on a beach.

The sand was a dark gray. Looking down at himself, he was wearing the clothes he remembered wearing before going to bed. Even the blood from the bullet wound was still there. He looked around, surprisingly aware of his surroundings for being in a dream. He walked along the beach, not quite in the water but not headed towards the near impossible mountainous region to his left.

It was an odd dream. Time didn’t seem to flow here, and yet Cliff was consciously able to process that there was a procession going on. Not just by his feet physically moving along the beach but also by his train of thought, one idea right after another. It was a way to categorize events, but it wasn’t the time that Cliff was familiar with like aging and natural decay.

And then he saw her. It was the first thing of real color in the world. A red dress. Blonde hair. She seemed to be searching for something in a desperate fashion. As he came closer, she suddenly turned around. She didn’t seem surprised to see him, but for Cliff he had to take a moment.

“President-no. Her daughter. The one that can only talk through holos.” Cliff paused and rubbed at his face. “I don’t think I’ve had a dream that makes less sense.”

“A dream? Where do you think you are?” She sounded a little like her mother. A slightly different voice but a similar way of choosing tone and words.

“A dream. A dream that for whatever reason has chosen a beach—”

“Not a beach. The Beach.”

Cliff paused for a second before suddenly letting out a laugh with little humor. “So my subconscious is now trying to convince me of theoretical concepts. I see.”

“Then you stand with the majority of your generation and older ones in thinking the Beach is a psychological concept in order to deal with the Stranding,” she sighed. There seemed to be some regret there, or something like slight annoyance as if the conversation would now be more difficult. However, she continued on and said, “I take it in my attempt to find him, I pulled you instead. So he has not found the Beach.”

She sounded both pleased and disappointed at that. A walking contradiction, a thing that shouldn’t exist came to Cliff’s mind even as he also told himself whatever meaning he was finding was symbolic only. This was a dream after all. He asked, “And he is?”

“Our lost property.”

Anger suddenly blossomed inside Cliff. He grabbed hold of her arm. It felt so real, so tangible. But what he focused on was what she’d said. However, before he could shout back some form of insult, she took his hand. The way she grabbed it had Cliff slowly letting go as his brow furrowed and he looked at her.

“And your son,” she murmured. “I am sorry for the pain that has been caused against you, but I do not regret the decisions that led to it.”

For a moment, Cliff forgot this was a dream. He started talking like it was a real conversation and said, “You’re sorry? Why? What did you have to-do I know you?”

“No. And yes. More so than many at this point,” she replied. “And now I see what dragged you here. Our strand. It’s not the kind of strand I would have liked to create, but it will do to keep me connected to you.”

“Connected?” Cliff stepped back. “You won’t find us. You or President Strand. The government.”

“No, we will.”

“A threat then?”

“A promise. You are not as separated from this world as you’d like to think. There’s still much work to be done and if it’s to succeed, we all have to work together.”

“I worked for America once. I don’t regret the decision. I don’t regret the actions I did to protect my squad—”

“Then you should be able to understand my decisions.”

Cliff shook his head. “What reason could possibly justify ripping a child from their parents? Of using them as a tool?”

“The end.”

And with that, the sky went red. The sea ran with blood as a planet loomed in the distance-no. Not any planet. Earth!

“We have to come together as a people and learn to understand one another again. If we don’t work together, America will die.”

“It’s already dead if they can stoop low enough to allow these kinds of experiments.”

“Sacrifices must be made in all kinds of war. You understand that but…all the same I am proud to see how far the connection between you and your son got you. America will need people like you. I’ll need people like you if we are to win this and stop this final extinction. Until we meet again.”

Despite how little her words made sense to him, at that moment Cliff suddenly remembered this was only a dream. It had to be. “But we’ve never even—”

And then he was opening his eyes. Cliff sat up. He looked around for a second before slowly pushing his hair back and out of his sweat soaked face. He expected the dream to wain away like smoke, but it stayed concrete in his mind. He could still recall pieces of it more like a memory than anything else.

But the Beach wasn’t a real thing. No, after so many centuries of trying to understand the afterlife, Cliff’s mind couldn’t believe that within his generation they’d finally begun to crack it with solid facts and scientific concepts.

He chalked it up to stress and the completely insane situation he’d found himself in. His mind was probably just trying to understand the situation and had somehow combined it with the current natural disasters and state of affairs in some weird amalgamation. Yet even with that thought, the dream didn’t waver in its realistic nature.

He rolled over and checked on Sam. It seemed he’d woken up at the right time as Sam begun crying and had his first accident. Diapers, one of the many products Cliff would now need and figure out how to use. He wished he wasn’t taking this journey alone, that all the intricacies of being a parent could be shared, the highs and lows, the joys and pains.

“I’m sorry you’re not here for this Lisa,” Cliff whispered as he begun to take care of Sam. “But if there is an afterlife, I hope you still get a chance to see him grow up, even if you can’t physically be here for it.”

With that thought, Cliff spent the rest of his night taking care of Sam before rocking him gently so that he would fall back asleep.


	2. A Strand to a Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the great response I've gotten so far with this story! I'm super excited to go forward with it and to introduce new characters soon. Higgs is definitely going to show up in the next chapter and I'm even thinking of including Lockne and Malingen sometime soon, though still trying to figure out exactly when. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!

Cliff carefully walked behind his son. His hands remained poised on either side. One more step. Maybe just one more—

Finally Cliff caught him, scooping Sam up in his arms. It created an excited gasp out of the young child. After Sam had gotten out of crying for everything, he’d quickly learned more effective ways of communicating. First it had simply been pointing. It was incredibly funny how serious Sam could get as he would stare with an intense gaze and simply point at an object with a commanding grasp. Amusing moments like this made Cliff even more thankful that they’d gotten free. He had a son. He had a home now.

It had been a long journey. They’d gone from porter to porter, kind soul after kind soul until they’d managed to get around ground zero. Cliff had heard people were attempting to build ships so that way going straight across would be a great deal quicker. However, keeping those ships running against a chiral storm was another issue entirely. If a ship went down in the ocean or in the crater at ground zero, it was gone for good along with everyone on it. It was why they were cut off from the rest of the world.

And a plane? That was an even worse idea as attempts after the first voidout had come into contact with chiral storms. The results? The planes and engines had become porous and had begun crumbling apart. Rust fell from the sky wherever a plane flew, and any passenger aboard died in the horrific crashes. It quickly became apparent that traveling by air would no longer be possible for the time being. Even if a plane managed to get above the horizon which natural clouds formed at, they had no information at how high chiral clouds could form. It just wasn’t worth the risk.

So because of that, days quickly grew into weeks and weeks became months. Sam’s earliest life was spent on the road as they put distance between themselves and what was left of the US’s government. Passing from porter to porter, Cliff learned early on that despite how little he was, Sam could tell the difference between his father and anyone else. Skin contact from others almost always made him cry. The only thing that seemed to soothe him was Cliff holding him afterwards as he rocked Sam gently in his arms.

Cliff wondered if it had to do with his earliest weeks of life, even if it was doubtful he would fully remember them later on. It brought up thoughts of a difficult discussion that Cliff might one day have. Should he tell his son his origin? He of course would tell him of Lisa. He already told him of Lisa though it would take a while before Sam truly managed to retain those stories.

But of course, Sam would eventually want to know where mommy was. He would ask and Cliff…

What should he say?

When should he say it?

Was there a right time to choose?

He’d thought all the physical cares were difficult to get used to but those he’d found a pattern for. As a soldier, he could deal with patterns. If anything, it was a comfort once he had it down. But this? It was different. Even if Cliff excluded the fact that his own father had never had to tell Cliff such a secret, there had still been little heart to heart moments like that between the two. He’d been a good father, but distant. And Cliff didn’t want to be that for Sam. But how should he discuss that conversation?

He supposed that if he really did want to be better than his own father, to not be distant, then that told him he would have to talk to Sam eventually. Perhaps it could even help with his aversion to others. Still, the question of when and how hung over his head. Even on less serious topics like simply what it meant to grow up, Cliff imagined the conversations would turn out to be far more difficult than any babying that had to go on now.

With all that in mind though, Cliff had put it aside and focused on getting to the end of their journey. Eventually after months of traveling over crumbling roads and rocky terrain to get around the crater that had split America, they were taken to a town.

Already the bigger cities on this side were crumbling even further, especially without direct aid from the east. Communication was iffy at best. Things like telephone poles had been some of the first structures to degrade beyond function in the timefall, and the chiral cloud interference meant pinging messages off satellites were a tricky, unpredictable communication form now.

It was hard to tell what it would mean for their future, but at least small towns were still functioning for the moment as people banded together in the only ways they knew how.

The one they settled in was where Sam took his first steps. He said his first words there as Cliff was telling him another story about his mother. Sam had mumbled, “Leeth.”

Cliff had paused in his story to ask, “Leeth huh?”

“Leetha.”

He’d picked up Sam and nuzzled him close. “Yes, Lisa. Lisa is your mother.”

Other words had quickly followed. Many were simple ones Cliff would have expected like ‘stop’ and ‘daddy’ and ‘food’. Others would have been far more unusual during his own childhood, but he supposed the changing world meant other words had grown in their frequency and importance. Sam’s forth word was time, though the first couple of moments Cliff had thought he was saying Tim. Fall had come next and later timefall could be said as one.

Then more words like simple commands and types of animals were learned as Cliff purposefully tried to guide Sam’s young eyes across whatever reading material he could get his hands on. With learning the word for bee, it made sense that saying BT was incredibly easy for Sam to say also. If he was trying to get at something and none of his other words seemed to convey the message, he sometimes fell back on BT if he was upset. Though he of course didn’t understand what they were, he understood BTs weren’t anything good and used the word as a pseudonym of sorts for when he was irritable.

Cliff did his best trying to teach Sam and many had donated what toys they had left over. Sam’s favorites though were the little astronaut Cliff had kept from his pod, along with his own dog tags. Whenever he leaned over to put him to sleep in his crib, Sam almost always reached for them with his still tiny hands.

Those little hands wouldn’t stay small forever though as he continued to grow and grow. As his mind continued to develop with his body, Cliff noticed that Sam had slowly stopped crying instinctively if someone ever touched him too. Technically that was a good thing. However, Cliff could tell there was a great deal of distress despite how he was learning to control his outbursts, even at a young age. Cliff did what he could by keeping others at bay, even the well-meaning ones, and he made up for the lack of touch from others by always holding Sam or throwing him up in the air or tickling his toes.

Sam reacted better to others if they touched clothing instead, so Cliff helped Sam work up to that with many of the people they saw so that way Cliff wasn’t completely reinforcing the fear. In fact, the woman they’d been situated with upon arrival was the first that Sam didn’t actively recoil from when she did take his hand at one moment. It seemed that he simply needed to work up to people more than most children.

The woman in question was a young artist and the first to open up her doors for them when they’d arrived. No questions were asked and Cliff suspected that many assumed his entire life, except for his son, had been destroyed in a voidout. It wasn’t unheard of that some people had narrowly avoided death by a quick trip away from home on a particular day and been met with nothing but a crater on the return trip home.

Cliff left his past to everyone else’s imagination and for the first long months focused only on raising Sam and trying to be present for every special moment.

However, now that he had a home in place and even people like the young artist he could trust to watch over Sam, Cliff found himself in need of a job. The young artist was happy to have a child in her home and had repeatedly said, “What’s mine is yours.”

However, it wasn’t in Cliff’s nature to remain without work. Sam had of course kept him busy enough through those first grueling months and Cliff wouldn’t have had time to do anything else even if they had been in a stable situation rather than traversing around a massive crater. Now Sam was just a little older though. Cliff could trust others to watch him and they had a home for now. So what was Cliff’s new purpose in this world?

It turned out that despite leaving the war so that he could prevent the chance of his family losing him, the world was simply too difficult of a place to not find risks at least somewhere. Besides, Cliff’s expertise were his physical strength and ability to strategize. The jobs that required that were almost guaranteed to be outside and considering the new needs of their society, it wasn’t surprising what Cliff eventually fell into.

At first, he started off as a construction worker for the town. Every time a surge of timefall came, repairs needed to be done immediately afterwards. Considering the government had been struggling to deal with potential timefall damage even when Cliff had left, their small town had even less protection when it fell.

Cliff was happy to help where he could. After all, one of those homes was where his son rested his head. Cliff had to make sure he was safe. But his days as a simple construction worker clearly became numbered as his more well-honed abilities finally came to the attention of their small community.

It was actually right after a shower of timefall had occurred. Sam was being taken care of at home and Cliff was doing what he could before night fell and it became too dark to work. He was replacing a metal sheet for a shed when he noted how others were pausing in their work. There seemed to be some type of commotion going on from about two houses down.

Cliff finished with the last nail and then slid off the roof. He easily landed on his feet and straightened up. He walked past small groups of people talking and focused on the person of interest. As Cliff came over, he recognized the man as a member of their small community. He acted as an individual porter, getting supplies out to the more isolated individuals within the community’s vicinity. Occasionally he used the still functioning roads to go to the nearest farm to trade food for other items as well, or to get news from the rest of the world.

Now he had no packages near him and as he was on foot, it was clear he hadn’t gone the longer route from the farm. He looked out of breath and when it was clear no one knew how to take control of the situation, Cliff did.

He spoke loud enough that many in the surrounding area quieted right away.

“What happened?”

“I…I saw them over the horizon,” gasped the man. He pushed his hands off his shaking knees and stood a little straighter. “The last prepper I visited mentioned unknown people had walked through their sensors a few times but never tried to make contact. Another prepper said they got close enough to test the strength of their door.”

“And you think the group you saw is the one the preppers have noted in the area.” It wasn’t a question. It was more likely these two unknowns were related more so than there being two separate nomadic groups. The fact that none of these groups had directly approached the preppers either wasn’t promising. Cliff took in the man’s state again. If this group was friendly, he wouldn’t have clearly run the rest of the way here. He went to the next logical question. “What kinds of weapons were they carrying?”

Going by some of the shocked sounds from the others, it was clear their minds didn’t automatically go to that place. Cliff however? His mind was already creating a strategy.

“G-guns.”

“Live ammunition?”

“I couldn’t tell.”

Cliff gave a small nod. Depending on the type of ammunition, this group could be one of two things. They could be looking for a place to set up nearby so they could dart in and out of territories, grab unsuspecting porters and take the supplies for themselves like a group of bandits. Or if the ammunition was live, then their goal was less about surviving and taking supplies and more chaos than anything. Cliff had seen it on the battlefield. He’d listened to briefings focusing on these kinds of individuals who simply took advantage of chaos and used it to justify their own actions. Now with the world falling apart, Cliff especially wasn’t surprised that there were people like this still out there.

“Which direction?”

The porter pointed. Cliff’s mind quickly readjusted the plan.

The town they were in was only really inhabited in what had once been several neighborhoods. The downtown area was no longer functional and since all materials had already been stripped from the buildings, they’d left it for the Timefall to destroy and rot it from the outside in.

Fighting over there would be the safest bet to keep those who couldn’t defend themselves from staying out of harm’s way. It also would assure Sam would be far away from the fighting. Now for weapons.

Once people had connected the dots and understood at least the catalyst to what caused a voidout, people had done one of two things with their guns. They’d either destroyed and thrown them out, not wanting to risk even the slightest accident. Others had held onto them like nuclear bombs though, knowing that the threat of seeing a killing machine had become more powerful than any makeshift weapon someone could create.

The town Cliff was in had chosen the former. However, he did ask, “Do you have any projectile weapons?”

“Like a slingshot?” suggested one.

“My son still has his bb gun,” a woman quickly said. “It’s a proper one too. With small pellets.”

Cliff resisted the urge to groan. To be fair, it was better than nothing. He looked around again, but the next question died on his lips. No, he would have been able to tell if any of them had any type of combat training. With proper preparations, he imagined he could have used a few, but this was too short notice. And if these nomads had real guns, then the fellow townspeople were more likely to get killed than anything else.

That left Cliff’s last question. “How many?”

“S-seven I think?”

“You think or you know?”

“No! Eight! It was definitely eight!”

Cliff slowly nodded. Eight against one. It wouldn’t be the worst odds he’d ever faced but definitely not favorable. “And I presume they were walking since you arrived first.”

A quick nod. “But they were also dragging along a few carriers. Probably supplies. Maybe more ammunition.”

“Get me those weapons. Get me whatever you have and you,” he pointed to one of them. “I’m going to need your bike.”

The people reacted immediately. It seemed Cliff hadn’t quite shed his commanding officer persona, though perhaps it was just the fear that everyone else was feeling that made them move so quickly and with no questions asked. Cliff got what he could and was finally on the bike.

One said, “You aren’t seriously thinking of doing this alone! Are you?”

Cliff didn’t respond, just revved the bike and drove off. There wasn’t time to argue or explain, and he didn’t want anyone else trying to be a hero and joining him. A few shocked sounds cried out behind him, but they were soon drowned out by the wind. Cliff sped through the town and into the rotted ruins. He then went a little farther past them, searching as best he could for this incoming group.

Besides a few measly weapons, he’d also gotten binoculars. He stopped up just shy of a hill’s edge and climbed the rest of the way before dropping to his stomach and looking out over the surrounding area. The group was close and Cliff imagined the only reason their own porter had made it back before these people was because he’d known the area better and had been running for his life. These men and women were walking almost lackadaisically instead. They didn’t think they’d come across any resistance, did they?

Oh how wrong they were.

Their current path appeared to be taking them straight through the remains of the town so Cliff got back on the bike and drove back. He pushed the bike into the bottom floor of the crumbling townhall. The original town square was easily accessible and open. Unless the group decided to completely avoid it, which would unnecessarily lengthen their trip time, then Cliff was sure the group would come this way. The fact that they had carriers with them too also meant they were more likely to come through this open area rather than climbing over the broken rubble.

With that figured out, Cliff went to the second floor, found a windowless hole, and finally stopped to inspect what he had.

Most of the weapons, a rope and a trowel, wouldn’t work well unless in close range. The only long-range object was really the bb gun. It would certainly shock the people at the sudden pellets hitting them. A well-aimed hit might make someone take a knee. Cliff could certainly take out an eye, but it was doubtful that it was strong enough to actually knock anyone out, even with a direct shot to the head. Cliff would have to go back down, but for the moment he kept the high ground. He waited and watched, using the binoculars to check on locations farther off and see if any signs of movement suggested the group was going a slightly different route.

God Cliff wished he had a cigarette right now. It was times like this that made him wish he hadn't quit. Though he supposed no one was really producing cigarettes now anyways.

He continued to stay in his perch until he finally spotted the men and women growing close. He waited to see what route they were going before he finally turned away and jumped through a broken hole onto the first floor. The people were going slowly now. The checked their guns, loaded the ones that were empty. Cliff slowly moved around them, staying aware of exactly where he placed his foot amongst the rubble.

Then he brought up the bb gun.

It fired, hitting one of them right behind their knee. The world moved in slow motion and the muscle memory took over.

As the man went to his knee, another slowly started to look behind them. Cliff aimed again, this time right for their eye. All the while, he continued moving forward, one step right in front of the other. As the pellet tore into the woman’s eye, Cliff dropped the bb gun. Neither of the two he’d hit had fully touched the ground yet as he picked up a piece of rubble and threw it with precision accuracy at another’s head.

He took out the trowel that he’d been given as he finally came within range. Two finally hit the ground. The one he’d hit in the head was still floundering as he tried to regain his balance. Cliff went to the fourth one. He jabbed the trowel into her side, not giving her any life-threatening wounds but sure as hell putting her in a lot of pain as blood started to spread on the clothes. Cliff pulled the trowel out, flipped it, and then hit the person over the head with the wooden handle. As she started to fall backwards, Cliff dropped the trowel. He grabbed her arm, got one leg behind hers, and flipped her. She hit the ground with a pained cry.

At the same time, Cliff moved to the next one. He took out the rope. By this point the main he was in front of was now pulling out an assault rifle. Cliff moved under it and disarmed him. Then he dropped the rope and caught the gun as it fell. He fired two rounds into the man’s lower right leg. Then, without hesitation, he spun around and fired at the final three people. He hit one in the kneecap, one bullet hit a foot, and the rest all in their lower legs. Cliff had made sure no major artery would be hit. They wouldn’t bleed out, but they were in no shape to continue fighting.

“Who the fuck are you?” yelled the one he’d hit first. Though obviously the least damaged, he had his hands up now that Cliff was the one with the gun.

“No one,” Cliff replied. “Why have you been scouting this area?” When no one said anything, he barked, “Answer me. Now!”

They didn’t flinch. Despite how he’d taken them all down with ease, they didn’t seem particularly afraid. They also clearly didn’t know how to listen as instead of directly answering him, one said, “I think he’s from the town up ahead.”

“Fuck, how did they know we were coming?”

“And how the hell do they have a guy like this?”

Cliff interrupted them by pressing the barrel against one of their temples.

The man snorted. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“The nearest incinerator is about a five hour’s drive from here. One day the roads might not be so stable and the journey will be more difficult, but as it stands, I can have you turned to ash before your skin’s even cooled,” Cliff easily replied. He remained perfectly neutral as he repeated, “Why our town?”

One, perhaps the leader, started to laugh. She shook her head and growled out, “You fucking people still think you have a society? It’s over! The world is fucking gone. We can do whatever the hell we want now!”

“Killing innocents then. Causing voidouts? That your idea of fun?”

“Hey, if we don’t fucking get you, some other terrorist will. Timefall, a BT, maybe even a fucking voidout. But it’ll end. Everything fucking does.”

Cliff ignored most of what they said but did ask, “So you’re saying you’re not afraid to come back?”

A different one laughed this time. “Oh just hurry up and let us go. You don’t have the fucking balls to kill us.”

Cliff’s face didn’t change. “Are you going to promise to never return to this area?”

“Oh yeah, of course! We’ll never return. Promise,” said the leader, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

Cliff stared them all down one by one. He could let them live and there was a chance they wouldn’t return to this area. But if they did? What if Cliff didn’t get fair warning beforehand? What if they managed to kill someone because of it?

If there was anywhere near where Cliff could take these people, lock them up and let them rot awaiting trial, he would. But they were right at least in that sense. Much of society was gone. Their town didn’t have the resources to cage and feed all these people themselves. They couldn’t move them and if Cliff let them go, even far away, they could always come back. Or cause a voidout in another location. A different family would be hurt, a different town could be wiped off the map.

The nearest incinerator really was only five hours away. And their usual porter was in town. The truck was there meaning there was enough room to take all them there with plenty of time before there was even a hint of necrotization occurring.

Cliff lowered his gun slightly. On the battlefield, he would have already come to a decision. However, now with the situation he was in, it was a decision he wanted to try and avoid. He tried one last tactic. “I have a child in that town. A boy that I want to set a good example to. Give me one good reason not to shoot you now.”

“A fucking kid? In this world? You should just off him yourself and save yourself the heartache. No fucking way he’s going to last,” said one.

At the same time, a different one said, “Ah, see guys? We don’t even have to give a reason. This guy is a big fucking softy of a dad! He won’t—”

Blood spattered out behind her head. In quick succession, Cliff downed each one with ease. Only the nearest one had caused a little back spatter to his clothes. Their bodies hit the ground like dominos as he readjusted the gun so it was hanging off his back now.

As he looked at the slowly bleeding out corpses, Cliff let out another tired sigh. He’d promised Lisa he would never go back to a battlefield. Technically he hadn’t. But the battlefield had apparently caught up with him. With another tired sigh, he went to look over the two carriers the group had been dragging along.

He emptied out both of them. Most of the supplies wouldn’t help their town and he was happy to let the timefall degrade most of the weapons though he kept the assault rifle on his back. He then piled each body up unceremoniously before going back for the bike. He hooked up the carriers to the bike and then started the slightly slower drive back to town. It took a while, nearly twenty minutes with the weight he was dragging behind him, but he made it.

It was night now, but the townspeople were all waiting anyways. They stared with shocked and horrified faces. It wasn’t the first time Cliff had seen such expressions, but it had been a while and never had it hit so close to home. Cliff kept the questions brief and focused on what he needed. Thankfully, everyone understood the importance of getting this job over with quickly. The porter went with Cliff since he had actually used the road to the incinerator before. However, besides a few places where they had to go around the broken road, it was really a straight shot and Cliff probably could have done the journey himself.

Once at the automated facility, they piled all the bodies up without a word and then began the process. Cliff and the porter were back in their car and away before the cloud even really hit the sky.

The drive back was silent as well and it was early in the morning when Cliff finally managed to get home. He finally wiped away at the dried blood before going to his room so he could hold his son again. Unsurprisingly the young artist had woken up at his arrival. She awkwardly stood in the door frame before she finally murmured, “It’s done?”

“Done. No reason to worry about a voidout now,” Cliff replied as he gently rocked a still sleeping Sam.

“And…and you really did all that? All by yourself?”

Cliff glanced over. He let a small sigh. “You’ve welcomed us into your home without any questions. I would understand if you now wish—”

“No! No you’ve saved our town. Everyone,” she said in a hushed whisper. “We’re all grateful. Truly. Just…I think some are still in a bit of shock? We’ve heard reports of people just…using this world we now live in as a horrible excuse for their actions but we just…we never thought it could happen here. Thank you for keeping us safe.”

Cliff gave a small nod. She let him be at that point and he turned his attention back to Sam, continuing to gently rock him and hold him tight.

Despite the young artist’s words, Cliff did wonder if the rest of the town really felt the same way. Regardless of his intentions, he’d dragged eight bodies through their streets. Not everyone was built for that kind of violence. Cliff certainly wouldn’t have been if he hadn’t joined the army so young and seen combat so quickly. However, after a couple of days, things seemed to return to normal besides a few poised questions asking if he had been in the army or done any other kind of work. Some had already known of his dog tags, but they admitted they’d thought they were for show or something and not real. That made Cliff wince a little so he guessed one good thing out of all of this was setting that narrative straight.

Otherwise, he thought nothing would change. At least until he got a request to run a delivery himself.

“You want me?” asked Cliff as he looked at the porter.

“I have to drive all this to the farm but the preppers still need their share. I’d be out all night, but I try to avoid that. You know? And you’re way more capable than me and I bet you could carry all their packages in one go. It would seriously help me and each one of them if you did.”

Cliff hesitated for a moment. If BTs appeared, he was pretty much screwed. But then there weren’t many areas around here that BTs seemed to frequent and at least for now, it looked like it was going to be a clear day. “Alright, show me the route.”

The porter got out his map and started to show Cliff the easiest routes and which preppers he should probably go to first. He also spoke a little about each person, but only the last one caught Cliff’s attention.

“Monaghan? Just Monaghan?”

“Yeah I don’t know his last name. Or first name. Maybe it’s a title. Guy is fucking weird and he’ll probably question you a lot since you’re not the usual guy, but he’ll take what you got all the same.” The porter shuddered at the thought.

“Does he have a reputation?”

“No. At least not amongst anyone here. He wasn’t from this town. Maybe he’s from an abandoned one a few miles over, or maybe his original home got caught in a voidout. I couldn’t say. I just know he was probably one of those preppers that popped up before even ground zero occurred and he’s been all alone ever since.”

“That long?” murmured Cliff. He couldn’t imagine what that might do to a person’s psyche.

“Unless he’s got somebody locked up in there, yeah. Only person you’ll ever talk to is him. But hey, once you get over it, he’ll take his goods and give you the return shipment without any trouble. He’s good like that. Just…again. Creepy to talk to.”

Cliff nodded. “And that’s it?”

“Yes. Any other questions?”

Cliff shook his head.

“Great! Thank you so much. You know, with your experience you wouldn’t make a bad porter yourself. No one would want to mess with you, mules or terrorists.”

“Perhaps,” replied Cliff. However, he didn’t make any promises, especially right now. Though their community was relatively close to all they needed, Cliff knew some porters had to travel days to a destination. Many had traveled harsh days and nights just to get Cliff and Sam to this town. Cliff knew for a fact that he couldn’t do anything like that. At least not while Sam was so young. “I’ll make these deliveries for now. You can count on me.”

“Thanks again. Find me when you’re done so I know how it went.”

Cliff nodded before turning back to go over the gear again and figuring out exactly the best way to arrange everything he would have to carry.


	3. A Strand to a City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you again for all kudos and comments! Don't know exactly how long this story will be though it will be sizable. Also don't know exactly how often I'll update. I have time right now cause I'm on break but updates may slow for a bit during final weeks. Anyways, thanks again and I hope you enjoy!

Cliff had wondered if the new world would lead to more people drifting apart or if humanity would find a way to try and still cling to each other.

At least for the moment, it turned out to be the latter.

Years passed and though their community thrived, the town itself was crumbling with no substantial protection from the timefall. Because of that, after raising Sam for several years there, Cliff knew they and many of the people there would have to move. Once they started to try and figure out where to go, they also looked to what news they could gather from the rest of the world. Apparently cities were slowly beginning to grow out of the wreckages of the old. It seemed the government hadn’t quite died like Cliff had expected.

The closest to them was a place called Middle Knot City. It was impossible for these fledgling cities to remain in perfect contact with each other or the central government on the east coast. However, Cliff soon learned of the multiple companies that had started to grow as they sent out porters to help keep everyone connected. One called Fragile Express had even succeeded in finishing a boat and maintaining its route across ground zero. Actually trekking to ground zero had only become more difficult, but at least the east and west weren’t as disconnected anymore. Minor resources were beginning to find their way from the government to the west, but the cities still needed people and plenty of local help to continue to grow.

Though still somewhat separated from the central government, Cliff was weary to go to Middle Knot. He eventually agreed to it, but a dream he had the night before departure had him second guessing his decision.

He hadn’t dreamt of the president’s daughter since his and Sam’s night of escape. Even then, what should have disappeared from his mind had stayed with him all those years of raising Sam. Her red dress. The dark sand.

Then that blood red sky that had come out of nowhere near the end of their conversation.

Even looking back now, it still felt real.

And now it was real again. Cliff stood on the sands as water lapped at the shore. He spotted the president’s daughter much faster this time. Her feet were beneath the waves and Cliff slowly stepped in after her. As he gradually grew closer, a name actually came to mind this time.

“Amelie.”

Cliff could see his expression mirrored in hers. “You didn’t say my name before,” she murmured.

“I didn’t know it.” Or… “I hadn’t remembered it yet.”

Amelie fully turned to him. “I must admit, even with our strand I was surprised at how easily I guided you to my beach. I would have thought your mind would be more focused on your son, not on what had transpired.”

“My mind?”

“Your will. It’s…difficult to describe. More of a feeling. And it is even harder to explain if you think this is a dream. Do you still think it’s a dream?”

Cliff didn’t respond right away. He crossed his arms and looked out over the ocean. Now it was empty. Earth was gone from the horizon as well. “I still don’t hold any evidence the beach is physical.”

“Do you not?”

“No, though I know most put some form of faith in it. It’s certainly grown, both as an actual concept and a new aspect of our culture. I think Sam believes in it to an extent, not that I’ve told him he shouldn’t. It’s his choice. But I haven’t seen the proof I need.”

“Perhaps you’ll find it in Middle Knot.”

Cliff looked back to her, a frown setting in deep. “You know, that only makes me see this as more of a dream. The only way you could know about Middle Knot is if you were a manifestation of my subconsciousness.”

“Or maybe it’s because our strand runs deeper than either of us know.”

She reached down and took hold of the red sash that held her dress together. She carefully ripped off a small section before gently taking Cliff’s hand. He let her, not feeling particularly threatened, just confused. She wrapped the strand around his wrist.

“And this is?”

“Proof I suspect,” she replied. She turned to face the sea again, a soft smile appearing on her lips. “I’m glad you’re taking Sam there. His knowledge of our world will truly grow in such a place and he can really begin to see the importance of connections. Both of you. You’ll help the UCA a great deal.”

“The UCA?”

“United Cities. The lines that divided us are all gone, but the cities, the communities, they can still stand.”

“Not that I’m saying you’re real…” Cliff slowly said, “But the way you talk is making me rethink the bunker idea.”

“The bunkers might work. They might keep people safe,” admitted Amelie. “But they won’t keep humanity going. Humans may survive it, but humanity can’t survive in the dark all alone.”

Despite how their last conversation had been years ago, Cliff still remembered what she’d said before. “The end.”

“Yes,” she softly agreed. She looked to him again. “You’re a porter now though. Cliff Porter.”

“If you want to call me that. Makes no difference to me. I left my last name when I left my previous life.”

“I think you should work for Bridges.”

“And work for the UCA? You were the ones who trapped my wife, my son. You were going to use him as a fucking tool—”

“Not a tool. A bridge. What you did set us back, I won’t lie. But there’s still hope. A bridge isn’t one thing just as I now know it can’t really be one person. A base must be made, elements crafted together, and supports put into place.” As she said this, she walked farther into the ocean. The water came up to her waist before she stopped. “Your son is still that bridge, but you’re a part of it too now. Go to Middle Knot. Protect its people. Protect our hope.”

Cliff started to walk farther into the water. “If I choose to still go there, it’s because I decide. And I decide what is best for my son.”

“I know. And that’s how I know you’ll go to Middle Knot.”

Suddenly Cliff sank. His head went under water as it filled his mouth and nose. He fell faster and faster—

He woke up, his whole body jolting out of bed. He took several deep breaths just to confirm his lungs were clear. He should have been surprised by the sudden appearance of the dream, yet it felt natural. It felt like he’d been meant to see Amelie again. He started to rub at his face only to freeze and slowly drop his hand.

The red sash was still there, gently wrapped around his wrist.

_Proof._

His right hand shook as he slowly undid the knot and watched the piece of cloth hit the bed. He half expected it to disappear. When it didn’t, he picked it up again and held it in his hands.

Over the years, the beach and BTs as a concept had become more concrete, more widespread. Still Cliff had been hesitant. There had to be some logical, scientific explanation for all this and—

He wasn’t exactly throwing that idea out. With the proof he held in his hands, he didn’t just blindly accept that the afterlife was one and the same. The beach, this concept was some metaphysical thing, he couldn’t deny it now. It had to be on some plane of existence. But then why was he dragged to that beach? And why Amelia’s? She’d said it was hers, not his. And this strand that connected them, how did that work? Where did it come from? Cliff didn’t automatically assign it all some spiritual assumption. Instead, as his mind slowly woke up, he put everything he had learned in a neat little box for later analysis. There had to be a reason for all this.

With that thought, Cliff folded the piece of cloth up and put it away, at least for now.

It had been real. Amelie was real. Which meant she knew about their planned journey to Middle Knot. So then the president knew, correct? The government knew and they would—

Amelie wanted him to go to Middle Knot. That alone made Cliff want to take Sam in the opposite direction. But with the sudden realization that their last two correspondences had been real, Cliff also noted that the government hadn’t come after them since their escape. If Amelie knew about their travel plans, didn’t she know where they were?

She’d said they needed Sam, but also himself and anyone who would lend a helping hand. Considering what Cliff had seen the government do to people in the past, that idea only made him more wary. And yet…

He was out of options.

Their town had no hope of outlasting the timefall. Most had started the journey or had at least completely finished packing for Middle Knot. A few had already left for a city farther off, South Knot, including the young artist who had originally welcomed them into her home. Cliff had to move with the group to Middle Knot or catch up with the group to South Knot. Staying wasn’t an option period and otherwise the only choice was a bunker.

And he couldn’t do that to Sam. He wasn’t an automatically social child and though he’d grown up around the townspeople and liked them well enough, locking him away from the world would only worsen that. There was also only so much Cliff could teach him. No one was a master of everything. The best way to learn was through many.

_That’s how I know you’ll go to Middle Knot._

Damn her, but she’d been right. He could of course take Sam to South Knot instead, but he suspected that if Amelie knew about Middle Knot, then she would easily know when Cliff changed course. He would just have to be…cautious. Incredibly cautious during their stay, especially at the beginning. If anyone so much as hinted at taking his son away—

Well, he’d cross that bridge when he got to it. For now, it appeared going to Middle Knot was his only real option. Besides, Sam was still young and Cliff didn’t want to risk the long trek towards South Knot if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Middle Knot was much closer.

With that decided, Cliff went to get Sam up for their last day in what had become his hometown.

Over the past four years in their small town, Sam had grown up a good kid. He sometimes got into things he shouldn’t, but he listened to his father with a shocking seriousness for a five year old. Perhaps it was because he hadn’t had the chance to grow up around anyone his own age, and he lived in such a dangerous world. If there was one thing Cliff hoped Middle Knot might give Sam besides more security and safety, then it was more friends.

Cliff prepped Sam for the journey before putting their belongings on his own back. He picked up Sam and then joined the others for the first step towards what was hopefully a new home.

In the years in the town, Cliff had become a sort of porter without meaning to. However, once his abilities and training had been known, he’d found himself taking many of the smaller packages to the preppers in the area. It was important work and it kept Cliff busy, but he always made sure he wasn’t away from his son for long.

Once they got to Middle Knot though, that changed.

The first day, the first week, really the first few months Cliff had been on edge. But no one had tried to take Sam away. No one had really even cared about their presence besides Cliff’s reported abilities as a porter and that he had a military past. If anyone asked for him, it started as Cliff the Porter. Then Cliff Porter as it was quicker to say. The name slowly became his and his son’s last name without Cliff even meaning for that to happen.

When it became clear no one was going to try and take Sam away and the government wasn’t concerned with their location, Cliff felt more comfortable making runs again. He tried not to go too far, though he did continue the long trek back east to the preppers that had once been peppered about near their former town. Considering he’d been doing it the previous years, he felt responsible for continuing the service, even to Monaghan though he’d quickly caught onto the ‘creep’ factor the other porter had warned him about.

And with each delivery, the next route seemed to get harder and harder as the roads and paths of the old world continued to crumble beyond repair, even as Middle Knot grew a little stronger and more protected. It seemed taking the longer journeys would be inevitable to the point that Cliff could be gone for two, three days, sometimes more.

However, the one saving grace of that was Sam was getting older and Cliff felt a little more comfortable at leaving him alone for longer amounts of time with each passing year. He also found a couple that he felt comfortable leaving Sam with when he was away for work. They had twin babies, recently born named Lockne and Målingen. When Cliff came to pick Sam up, the scenes that he was met with always brought bittersweet smiles to his face. Sam would have made a great older brother. Cliff and Lisa had talked about having a family of four. It had seemed the perfect number.

Now they were only two.

But Cliff took advantage of the sweet moments of Sam hanging out with Lockne and Målingen all the same. Cliff personally would have been bored stiff having nothing but two babies to play with at that age, but Sam took it in stride. Anything their parents told him he took incredibly seriously, and by the time he was ten, their parents trusted Sam to even look over the twins for an hour or two at a time.

There weren’t many other options for children Sam’s age, even in a place as big as Middle Knot, but he quickly became best friends with the twins. His favorite pastime was reading about space and the moon to them from some of the books Cliff had procured for Sam in their former town. He even passed on his toy astronaut to them.

Cliff had half expected them to fight over it, but it seemed there was no sibling rivalry between the two as they often acted more like one unit than two separate individuals.

As for Sam’s own schooling, he got a lot of it from the twins’ parents. They were happy to help, and Cliff was glad Sam was getting schooled. From the few times Cliff had sat in and listened, he suspected Sam was getting better schooling than Cliff even had, at least in regards to his studies of science and engineering.

Connecting with the twins’ parents also gave some small opportunities to learn more about what the scientific world was saying about the beach and BTs. It seemed there were still plenty of questions, but Cliff felt a little more secure knowing that people were looking into the scientific explanations and weren’t just accepting the places as realms beyond understanding. He’d even listened to their theories about things or even people one day being able to travel across a beach regarding a question he had pointedly asked. However, he’d only poised his questions as casual curiosity, keeping his knowledge of Amelie quiet at least for now.

By this point, Cliff had a pattern of life. It was an odd pattern, one that he never would have expected for himself, but he’d slowly grown comfortable in it. During the passage of time, he only had one other visit from Amelie. He’d kept her sash with him, either in a side dresser drawer or sometimes on his person though he never actually wore it again.

She seemed pleased with how things were going and spoke about the great progress that was being made in the heart of the government, at what was now known as Capital Knot.

Cliff had simply replied, “I fight for my son, not for you.”

“I understand. But you and your son are connected to Middle Knot. That makes you a part of the UCA now. I’m grateful to have a man like you working for us again.”

“I’m an independent porter. Don’t forget that.”

“Of course,” Amelie had apologetically murmured. “But still, thank you for your help all the same.”

Cliff had simply huffed in response before suddenly returning to the waking world. He didn’t like the idea of helping a government that would hurt his son in the way they had, but he didn’t mind helping the people around him that clearly needed it. As long as he continued to do that and could keep Sam safe, he would stay in Middle Knot and work alongside-not for!-the UCA.

And Cliff did. For quite a while as Sam continued to grow and one day turned twelve.

Sam had grown semi-comfortable with some of the other residents of Middle Knot, but even at that age he much preferred watching over the twins who were six by that time. Their ability to reason and logic had already begun to outpace Sam, but he smiled every time one of the children corrected him, finding joy in their intelligence rather than growing jealous in any way.

It again brought a smile to Cliff’s face every time he saw it, though he did somewhat worry about what the teenage years could bring for him. Sam still had a knack for getting into things he shouldn’t have, just like when he’d been younger. The only difference now was he was better at hiding it, giving his dad a perfectly blank face as he faked innocence.

A prime example of that, but thankfully not a very serious one, was when Cliff had gone to pick Sam up. He’d found Lockne and Målingen’s parents standing in front of the three children as they gently pressed them to try and figure out where some fresh cookies had gone. Everyone knew that the only one tall enough who could have given the twins access would have been Sam, yet the parents had eventually crumbled under his innocent gaze as he somehow gave across the idea of, “I didn’t even know you had cookies. Did you Lockne? Målingen?”

The twins had dutifully shaken their heads, their cheeky, six year old grins giving a bit more away than Sam’s perfectly innocent look. Cliff had found it hard not to laugh at least a little, though he had spoken to Sam on the way back home.

“I understand not wanting anyone to get in trouble, and it’s nice you backed up your friends, but it’s also not good to lie.”

“I know dad. I definitely stole the cookies,” Sam had deadpanned.

Cliff found that it was very hard to be the stern farther figure when Sam spoke like that with his perfectly earnest and serious expression on his face.

“You still lied to Lockne and Målingen’s parents though.”

“Don’t worry. I know if it was about something more serious I shouldn’t lie.”

“And what would a more serious situation be?”

“Like if I could get hurt. Or Lockne and Målingen. Or anyone really. And don’t worry, I also know too much sugar can be a bad thing. Målingen told me about a disease she read in one of her parents’ books. She promised her and Lockne would ration out the cookies.”

By that point, Cliff really couldn’t keep the laughter in. “Six year olds watching out for their health. What has the world come to?”

“Is that not normal?” asked Sam with a confused look.

“It wasn’t common. Not for me or the children I knew growing up,” Cliff replied. “But normal is a big word. And what do you think when you think normal?”

“Whether something is right or not?”

Cliff nodded. “But something can be normal and not common. And common doesn’t always mean normal.”

“So if…people do a lot of something, but that thing hurts other people, it’s common but not normal.”

“Yes, that’s a good example. They don’t mean the same thing. But something common can also be something normal. Like hugs.” At that point Cliff grabbed Sam and pulled him up into the hug. He could see how his son rolled his eyes, even if a grin fully formed on his face at the attention received by his father. “People do hugs a lot and they’re good for embarrassing their little kids.”

“I’m not that little,” defended Sam.

“I can still pick you up. That makes you little to me,” Cliff said with a kind smile as he kissed the top of Sam’s head and put him down again. He thought that would be the end of the conversation, but as Cliff was getting used to it, Sam managed to always surprise him with something.

“So basically, things aren’t always simple. Like a lie. You don’t want to lie to hurt someone, but a lie could protect someone. Right?”

Cliff shook his head. He pulled Sam close. “Are you sure you’re my son? You’re getting much too smart for me.”

“It’s because I hang out with six year olds.”

Cliff laughed, even though he knew he couldn’t really avoid the topic that Sam had brought up. At this point, he still hadn’t fully told Sam about where he’d come from, though he had continued to tell him stories of his mother. Sam was smart enough to understand that she was gone, but he was tactful enough to know that there were bad memories involved with her and so didn’t often bring her up himself. However, Cliff was sure Sam would want to hear the answers soon and Cliff would have to find a way to tell him.

For now, Cliff murmured, “A lie can be used to protect. But the truth has a way of climbing to the surface. Real strength occurs when you learn how to face the truth. But until that day can come sometimes…sometimes a lie can help rather than hinder.”

Sam gave a solemn nod as he thoughtfully looked off into the distance. He turned to Cliff with a sly smile. “So you’re saying Lockne and Målingen’s parents are soon going to find out the cookies didn’t go up in smokes but actually disappeared into the twins’ stomachs. Right?”

“Something like that,” chuckled Cliff. He would have to tell Sam, probably soon…

But as he thought about that over the next few days, an assignment came up that would take him to the preppers located around their former town. As usual, he dropped Sam off with the twins, giving him a quick kiss on the top of his head before he went.

Many porters worked in groups, but besides the fact Cliff didn’t officially work for any one company, he also preferred to do it alone. He didn’t have DOOMS in any capacity, but he knew where timefall usually occurred and he knew the obvious warning signs that BTs were passing into their world. If he saw an upside down rainbow, he backtracked quickly or found covering and stayed as still as possible, just waiting for the timefall to end.

It was dangerous, but then that was how the world was now. Cliff just always made sure he was extra careful as he remained determined to get back to his son every time he left.

On this delivery he left early. Now that a little over a decade had passed since first escaping with his son, the roads were all pretty much destroyed and only a select few areas were really worth using bikes or trucks anymore. Thankfully, new technologies were slowly being developed to create easier travel on the go, some even attempting to use elements of the timefall, like chiral matter, for their benefit. However, most of those were still in early development so Cliff headed out alone with nothing but the necessary packages on his back, shoulders, and arms and his own provisions. The only other thing he carried was a non-lethal gun in case of conflict with mules or terrorists.

The trip which had once taken less than a day from the small town now took nearly four as he headed out from Middle Knot on foot.

Cliff moved steadily. He rarely needed to rest, knowing a constant pace was better in the long run than trying to start off hard and fast. Since he traveled alone, he also slept sparingly on his journeys. Sometimes it was just a few minutes of shut-eye, at most an hour. Thanks to his background, it had been easy to fall into that pattern though and finding a comfortable place to sleep was never an issue for him either.

As expected, he got into the area in about two days. He went to the first prepper and then slowly made his rounds, going to the other preppers until night had arrived. The last place was Monaghan’s. Cliff would then get some shut-eye under a nearby overhang, and after that he would head back to Middle Knot. The journey back would hopefully be even quicker as so far he wasn’t meant to send anything back, at least not on this trip.

The sun slipped beneath the horizon and Cliff walked into Monaghan’s shelter. However, his gate slowed before he made it to the delivery terminal.

The door to the bunker was ajar.

Cliff slowly set down the packages that he was meant to deliver. His senses were all on high alert. Monaghan had never left his bunker. Cliff had never even seen the man’s face, only heard his voice. And now what? A man who didn’t have a vehicle, probably didn’t even have a cloak that could protect himself against timefall had just waltzed out? It didn’t make any sense.

As Cliff approached the bunker door, he recognized he felt more worried about the unusual situation than specifically Monaghan himself. Delivering to the man, even with how short the visits were, had always made something inside Cliff’s stomach drop. There had just always been an innate sense that the man wasn’t a good person, though Cliff had made the deliveries all the same.

He paused at the door. He thought about taking out the gun, thought about calling out to see if Monaghan or anyone else was down there. What was the safest course of action—

A pained, high pitched yelp sounded, a crash, then silence. It was enough to send Cliff running down the bunker steps. His eyes took everything in under the low lighting. The bunker was organized to a maddening degree, like if anything were out of place, the whole thing would come crumbling down. Then Cliff entered the main room.

He saw Monaghan for the first time and Cliff’s eyes easily tracked the struggle that had been occurring around the room. There was a bag with a torn shoulder. A table had been overturned and plates shattered. Then a shelf had clearly been hit. Some of the items had spilled onto the floor. A rug was out of place, scrunched up at one end. Another section of shelves had been knocked into. And finally on the floor? A boy with his eyes bulging out as the man, Monaghan, tightened his grip around the boy’s neck.

The boy was desperately reaching for anything. His fingers grazed a knife but didn’t quite reach it. He didn’t need to though as Cliff shot forward, grabbing the man and throwing him off. Monaghan was enraged though. He seemed to barely register Cliff as he yelled, “All I ever did was love you and this is how you repay me! You’re never leaving this fucking bunker!”

Monaghan lurched forward but Cliff pulled out the gun finally. It didn’t seem to deter him. All the man cared about was getting back on top of the boy and wrapping his fingers around his neck.

Cliff didn’t hesitate.

He fired one shot, hitting Monaghan square in the head. He staggered and Cliff hit him twice more, finally knocking the man to the ground. Still, the non-lethal rounds hadn’t quite knocked him out as he tried to stand up. Cliff walked over and punched him hard enough that when his head hit the bunker floor, this time he didn’t get up.

Cliff then spun around and back to the boy. He bent down and gently rolled the boy over and onto his side so that the coughing didn’t completely choke him.

The boy was tall, a bit lanky and looked underfed. He was layered up and slightly over dressed like he’d been trying to prepare for any type of weather and just didn’t know what he should wear to go outside. The pieces of the puzzle were forming but Cliff would save the questions for later. Had this boy been here all this time? He looked around Sam’s age. From every delivery Cliff had brought this way, had this child been down here and he’d never known?

Cliff helped the boy to sit up. The way he winced at even the slightest touch suggested there was further bruising underneath the cloths, not just the red rings forming around the boy’s neck.

“It’s going to be ok. I’ll get you out of here.”

The boy hesitated. His eyes traveled back to Monaghan. Torn up confusion filled his bright blue eyes. Cliff gently dragged his gaze back to him.

“He’s not getting up any time soon. It’s going to be ok now. Promise.”

The boy avoided his gaze a little but nodded.

“Whatever is yours, whatever you need, I can help carry it. Just point it out.”

The boy slowly lifted his hand. It shook and after he pointed, he quickly had to drop it so he could keep supporting himself. He’d pointed at the backpack with the torn shoulder. Another piece of the puzzle fell into place.

“What else?”

Finally the boy spoke. His voice came out in the softest, most pained whisper Cliff had ever heard. “Nothin.”

“Nothing?”

The boy slightly shook his head.

Cliff tried not to think about that too hard. He might do something incredibly stupid to the man on the floor if that was the case. Instead, he went to grab the bag before bending down by the boy and asking, “Do you think you’ll be able to hold onto my back?”

The boy slowly nodded.

“Good. Put this on.” Cliff handed off the extra covering he always carried with him. Usually he used it to help further protect the packages, now he helped the boy secure it onto his shoulders. When Cliff let go, the boy flipped the hood up and quickly covered his face so Cliff could no longer see his eyes.

“Ready?”

The boy nodded again, still carefully hiding his face from view. Cliff turned around and the lanky kid climbed onto his back, wrapping his arms around Cliff’s shoulders and his legs around Cliff’s waist. He ducked his head down as they passed Monaghan and kept his face pressed to Cliff’s neck for a while.

Cliff didn’t bother closing the door. Neither did he pick up the packages he’d dropped from before. He really could care less right now. He sure as hell was never coming back to this bunker.

They walked for a little while in complete silence when Cliff finally felt the boy pull his face back just the slightest. His grip started to loosen. With that broken, hoarse whisper, Cliff heard, “So that’s what the stars look like.”

And then Cliff was suddenly stopping as he had to hold onto the boy and keep him from falling against the ground. Cliff took a knee and pulled the boy around. He checked his pulse but at least the boy’s heart was beating at a steady pace. No, he was simply exhausted as he had every right to be. Cliff carefully took the boy’s pack and fully put it on his own shoulders. Then he readjusted him, holding him in front and across his chest.

Cliff didn’t even know the kid’s name. However, he didn’t need to in order to know he would do fucking everything in his power to get him to safety and the help he needed.


	4. A Strand to Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thanks again for the kudos and comments. I again don't know exactly how long this story will be but I'll try to keep updating at least once a week if not two or three times. Finals are coming though so updates may slow during that week.
> 
> I'll probably have a few more chapters with them as kids before really getting into the teenage years and then eventually the young adult years but it just depends on how I want to pace it. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!

Sam was carefully attempting to balance Målingen on his back along with Lockne clinging to her shoulders when one of their parents came in.

Their father softly laughed and said, “You look just like your dad, off to deliver some packages.”

“I am delivering them,” said Sam with a small smile as he remained carefully balanced.

“To dinner!” cried Målingen.

“Well, perfect timing then. Deliver away Sam.”

Their father slightly moved out of the way. Sam remained leaning heavily forward as the two kids clung to him like monkeys. Once at the dinner table, he stood up a little straighter so Lockne could slip into her chair. Now it was a lot easier to carry Målingen to hers. Sam sat down in his own seat as their mother handed out drinks and their father finished setting the table.

As usual, the twins wanted to hear about the latest thing their parents had begun working on. Sam had a harder time following, but he did enjoy seeing how passionate the family got. He mostly stayed silent and simply listened, but he occasionally asked a question or two so that way he wasn’t completely lost.

Their mother also asked about some of the antics the three had been up too, “No more stolen cookies, right?” but even with that Sam let the twins do most of the talking. It was more amusing watching them come up with outlandish things and Sam usually only intervened if they needed some backup. They didn’t actually cause that much trouble, but it could certainly sound like that when the twins were describing how things went.

After dinner, Sam helped them set up one of their playsets and the three were messing with the twins’ toys when their father came back.

“Hey Sam, it looks like you’re going to be staying one more night with us.”

Sam frowned. “Dad was supposed to be back tonight.”

“I mean—”

“And how do you already know I’ll be staying another night? It’s not that late.”

“He told me.”

“Told you?” Worry shot through Sam as he stood up. “What happened? What do you—”

“Sam, it’s ok,” the twins’ father gently said. He walked over but only made what was an attempt at a calming gesture rather than actually touching Sam. “He is back and ok. Just something has come up. It’ll help him a great deal if he can take care of the issue tonight and come pick you up tomorrow.”

Sam’s suspicions didn’t drop. He softly said, “What’s come up? Why can’t I just go home?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say. I’m sorry, but you should know by tomorrow. Alright? Just let us know if you need anything else.”

Sam silently nodded. He waited until the door was closed before slowly sitting on the floor. His brain tried to wrack itself and figure out what the hell his dad could be doing when Målingen tugged at his sleeve.

“We can make it look like you went to bed.”

Sam perked up a little. “You think?”

Lockne grabbed a spare stuffed animal and started packing in Sam’s sheets. “We can say you got sad and that’s why.”

Sam bit his bottom lip. He didn’t actually know where his dad was, but he supposed he could start with their home and go from there. He was in the city though, right? The twins’ father had said he was ok. So then why the hell couldn’t Sam come home?

“Ok. Your parents are probably finishing up in the kitchen. If I go now…”

“Go out the front door,” Målingen said with an excited whisper.

Lockne nodded as she grabbed more stuffed animals and clothes this time. She climbed up into Sam’s bed to stuff them down into the sheets some more. “Go fast.”

“I will. Thanks.”

“And tell us what happens,” Målingen finished.

“Of course,” Sam smiled. He ruffled her hair since she was closest and then hurried to the door. He cracked it open just to make sure neither of their parents were nearby. They weren’t so Sam glanced back and gave the twins a quick wink. They giggled and then Sam quickly slipped out.

He was careful of his footing, not even wanting to make the floor creek as he finally managed to get to the door. The parents were still in the kitchen doing some gross lovey-dovey stuff that Sam had seen a few other adults do. With them distracted, he took his opportunity and quickly slipped out the door.

It was dark out now, but unlike the town he’d grown up in, there were lights at night. Not many moved around though except for some late-night workers or any porters that had just arrived. Sam avoided those he knew, not wanting them to ask questions and send him packing back to the twins’ house. With anyone else, he kept his head high, trying to act a little older and like he was supposed to be out this late.

He went home as that was his best option. He tried the front door and as it was unlocked, Sam guessed his dad really was home. But then why was he supposed to spend another night with Lockne and Målingen?

Thankfully, his dad wasn’t in the front room or else he would have been able to tell Sam was testing the door. Sam carefully slipped in. He could hear his father and someone else talking in the back. His dad was far better at detecting any slight sounds or shifting weight. Sam knew it had to do with working for an army that didn’t exist anymore. However, that just meant Sam had learned to be even quieter than the average kid. He moved through their house carefully, one ear watching for any noise he made, the other ear trying to listen in on his dad and the other person.

It almost sounded like the main doctor here. Why him? Was dad sick? No. He didn’t sound sick. Hurt then? By people? By BTs? By…by timefall? That thought scared Sam and he almost burst into his dad’s room if only to confirm it wasn’t that. However, a noise drew him away from where his dad and the supposed doctor were.

His dad picked up on the noise too and Sam just barely heard him say, “I will pay whatever I can, do whatever favor you need. He’s a kid. He shouldn’t be in this much pain.”

A kid?

It sounded like his dad and the other guy were going to walk out so Sam went in the direction of the other sound. It was coming from his own bedroom. The door was slightly ajar. Sam slid in and finally saw what his dad was talking about, though only more questions started to pop into his head.

Sam’s sheets were ruffled like someone had been lying in them. However, the partially clothed body that was in his room was lying under his bed instead.

All Sam could see was a back, the rest of the form curled in and away from everything else. The person was so still, they almost looked dead, and the pale skin didn’t help that either. Sam looked at the marks too. He had seen the old scars on his dad. He’d never really seen new ones though. Or welts and bruises that looked like they reached deep into the muscles.

Sam tugged his shirt sleeve down so his fingers were covered. He slowly inched closer. After several seconds of no movement from the form, he gently poked the shoulder. He felt the body stiffen and a broken whisper escape. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

The body jumped, clearly not having expected to hear Sam’s voice. The person both pushed away from Sam and got farther under the bed. He also turned around and Sam could finally see the face. The boy looked about Sam’s age. There were more welts along his front and Sam could see his ribs. Sam had done that thing where he had once tried to suck in his stomach as much as he could and reach underneath his own, just to see if he could. This though? He’d never been able to see ribs so clearly on himself or anyone else. And the neck? The boy’s neck was almost black. It reminded Sam of some of the few chiral crystals he’d seen, two handprints on either side.

Sam eased down onto his stomach so that he was a little lower. He rested his chin on top of his hands and tried to stay as non-threatening as possible. Thankfully, the boy seemed just as confused at seeing Sam there. At least they were on the same page in that regard.

“Hi,” Sam whispered.

The boy didn’t move.

“You look cold. The bed’s definitely warmer than the floor.”

Sam waited, but the boy still didn’t react. He supposed it made sense. His neck really looked like it hurt. Sam decided to just do it himself and started to get up to grab a blanket when finally his dad and the doctor walked in.

“Sam! You should still be—”

“Why is there a kid hiding under my bed?” Sam suspected he was at least in a little bit of trouble, but he held that off for now with his question.

It also made his dad look and notice the empty bed. Cliff took a knee and leaned over until he spotted the kid underneath. Sam carefully stepped out of the way as he watched his dad try to coax the kid out like he was a wounded animal.

“You can sleep on the bed. I wouldn’t have put you there otherwise,” Cliff gently said.

The boy croaked out, “So I’ve been good enough?”

Sam didn’t understand that sentence. What did being good have to do with being able to sleep in a bed? One look at his dad though told him it wasn’t anything good. He looked so fucking sad. Sam continued to watch as Cliff held out his hand. He waited until the boy took it and then gently pulled him out. He placed him back on the bed and started to pull the covers up around him.

“The doctor here will bring you the medicine you need. Promise.”

“In the meantime, try not to talk. Your throat needs the rest,” the doctor added.

“You need rest in general,” said Cliff. “Sleep. You’re safe here.”

Sam watched Cliff fully stand up after tucking the kid in. Sam continued to stand by the side. His dad gently nudged him to follow him out of the room, but Sam paused so he could slowly hold up one hand in a small wave. He didn’t know what the kid had been through, but he hoped the kid knew he wasn’t alone now. “I’m Sam.”

The boy covered his face with a blanket but still murmured, “Higgs.”

“Come on,” Cliff softly said, and this time Sam let his dad drag him out of the room.

Sam remained silent as Cliff spoke with the doctor a few more times about medicine, treatment, and also what foods Higgs could have. His throat had been squeezed so hard that he’d only be able to swallow liquids, and even that would be painful for a bit. Who had done that? The bruises had looked like hands but why would anyone choke someone so hard?

As Cliff said good night to the doctor, Sam sat on the couch. He wrung his hands together, unsure how upset his dad would be. However, when he finally closed the door, he just looked tired. He rubbed at his face before focusing on Sam. “I take it the twins’ parents don’t know you’re here right now.”

Sam shook his head.

“I’ll get in contact with them then. No need for them to worry.”

Sam waited while his father did that over the city’s internal network. He was curious, but decided it was better if he waited for now. After a moment more, his father sat down next to him. He sounded exhausted. Even more so than on deliveries where he’d run into mules or terrorists or patches of timefall. He covered his face for a moment before he finally looked down at Sam.

“So…”

Sam winced. “I was worried about you,” he softly said. “It didn’t make sense why I wouldn’t be able to come home, yet you were apparently back. I just…”

“I’m sorry I worried you,” Cliff gently said. “Next time, you need to trust me though. I didn’t want you to see all that.”

“What happened to him?” Sam watched as his dad struggled to find the right words.

“Something incredibly cruel. Something that no person should ever do to a child, or anyone for that matter.”

“Where did you find him?”

“At one of the prepper shelters.”

“Wait…you went back to where you did your first deliveries. Then it was one of them?”

He watched his dad cover his face. There was no telling how long Higgs had been there and Sam could tell that despite it being out of his control, his dad blamed himself a little. Words didn’t need to pass between them for that or any of the other feelings. Sam simply curled up, resting his head against his dad’s shoulder. He decided not to ask any more questions right away. Some he was sure he would figure out eventually. Others, he didn’t really need a concrete answer. Like why Higgs was in his bed? There could be a couple of reasons for that. His dad had wanted to get the boy stable as quickly as possible, the doctor didn’t have room, or maybe his dad wanted to make up for simply not knowing.

Whatever the reason, Sam didn’t mind. He just asked, “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Of course,” his dad whispered. He kissed him on the top of his head. Sam moved with him as they got up and went to bed.

Sam fell asleep almost instantly, but like his dad he was a light sleeper. He didn’t move though, pretending he hadn’t noticed when his dad did get up. Sam wondered if he’d even slept. It didn’t feel like much time had passed. Maybe an hour at most.

Sam remained in bed, dozing in and out as Cliff and the doctor went back to take care of Higgs. They cleaned any cuts for a second time and covered them with bandages. Then they treated the bruises as best they could before finally the doctor got Higgs to swallow a minor painkiller that would hopefully help him to sleep. The kid had avoided looking at either of them if he could help it, but Cliff could still see the tears rolling down his cheeks from the pain as he took the pills.

Cliff helped Higgs to lie down when they were done and tucked him in again.

Once out of the room, the doctor murmured, “He probably won’t fully heal for two, maybe three weeks considering the extensive damage. I’d recommend he talk minimally for the next week, and then slowly encourage him to talk more if it doesn’t hurt too much. He won’t be able to eat solids for about the same length of time. I’ll of course check in, but it’s essentially on him when he feels most comfortable.”

Cliff nodded. “And what about his…what about how he came to be here?”

“Do you think this Monaghan would come after him?”

“No, he’s too much of a recluse to risk it I think. And he doesn’t know where we actually went. I just mean…well…”

“If this was twenty years ago, there would be a line of red tape and laws to protect this kid and probably put him in the custody of the state. Police would already be driving over there and putting that man away for life. As it stands? If you don’t think you can take care of him, I can try to find someone. But there’s really nothing official left to be done. Do you want me to ask around?”

“No, no I can take care of him,” murmured Cliff. “Thank you for all your help. I’ll contact you right away if he needs anything else.”

The doctor nodded. “I think it’ll be good if he stays with you anyways. And having a child around his age should help ease this transition for him. I imagine Sam won’t mind it either. Good luck.”

“Thank you,” Cliff replied. He walked the doctor out and then went to check back in on Higgs. When he’d walked in before, the boy had been awake. Now he’d finally fallen asleep, probably thanks to the painkillers. Cliff left the door slightly ajar and then headed back to bed. As he got in, he pulled Sam close and hugged him tight.

Sam managed to fully fall asleep again now that his dad was by his side. Cliff also fell asleep quickly, though he did regularly wake up throughout the night to check on the other boy.

In the morning, Cliff and Sam got up at about the same time. Sam’s curiosity was back and he asked, “Can I go check on him?”

Cliff thought about it for a second. “Alright. Just remember to be gentle with him. And he’s not supposed to be talking right now so don’t encourage it. I’ll make breakfast for all of us.”

“Understood,” Sam replied.

He jumped out of bed and quickly walked down the hall to his room. Even though it was his own room, he knocked just to alert Higgs before walking in. As he did, Higgs scrambled out of the bed and quickly stood up. He was taller than Sam but looked like he weighed a lot less. He ducked his head down even as he glanced over at Sam, trying to hide his face.

“You’re a guest. You don’t have to stand up just because I came in.”

“This your room?” His voice sounded just as pained as it had yesterday.

Sam nodded. “Dad said you shouldn’t talk though. I can try to find you something to write on.”

“Have stuff.”

“You already have something? Ok.” They stood there awkwardly. There were still a lot of questions Sam had, but he knew he needed to start out slow. He decided to ask, “Want to take a shower?”

Higgs looked unsure.

“It’s ok.” Sam remembered what Higgs had said the night before and added, “Dad would be fine with it too. It’s alright. Seriously.”

Higgs hesitantly nodded.

Sam gestured for Higgs to follow him. He pointed out everything. He wasn’t sure if Higgs had ever seen an automated shower like this so Sam might have over explained things, but he was just trying to be helpful. After Higgs was set up, Sam went to his closet. First, he got dressed and then he tried to find some clothes for Higgs. None of them would fit exactly right, but Sam knew that getting in fresh clothes after a nice shower could feel really good. He hoped Higgs would think the same thing. After choosing a few, he knocked on the bathroom door and warned Higgs that he was just going to set the clothes inside for him.

Then Sam let him be and quickly went to check on his dad. Usually they ate things like granola bars for breakfast, or maybe Cliff would cook a little something on a special day. Right now, all he had was juice out though he continued to look at what they had in the fridge and cabinets. Sam suspected it was because he was trying to find something for Higgs and he voiced exactly that.

“Yes,” he mumbled to himself, “I’ll need to see if anyone has anything like a food processor or blender.”

“How long will it take for him to get better?”

“A few weeks before the damage is completely gone. The doctor couldn’t give an exact number.”

Cliff finally just fell on the juice since there wasn’t much else. At that point, Higgs hesitantly walked in. He’d changed into the clothes Sam had donated except for the shoes which looked like they were probably his own. Almost all the scars and bruises were hidden now. Only the bruising on his neck could be seen. They looked worse in proper lighting. The shirt Sam had donated had a hood on it too. Higgs had pulled it up so that they could just barely see his face.

“Here,” Cliff quickly said. He poured a cup and handed it over to Higgs. He took it hesitantly and Cliff asked, “Do you need anything for the pain right now?”

Higgs shook his head.

“It’s ok if you do.”

Higgs still didn’t respond.

Cliff let out a small sigh. He could tell this wasn’t going to be easy. He looked the boy over and murmured, “You’ll need some new clothes too. Sam?”

Sam quickly stood up straight, ready for whatever responsibility he was going to be given.

“I’m going to need to get some more supplies for us. Promise me you can watch over him?”

“Can I show him the city?”

Cliff nodded. He turned his attention to Higgs now. “But if you get tired, just tell Sam. You should rest the moment you feel you need to.”

Higgs gave a small nod of acknowledgement. He carefully sipped from his glass. Despite how he’d just denied it, Cliff could see how painful each swallowing motion was as his whole body trembled. Cliff went to grab the medication the doctor had brought. He cut a pill in half and placed it in Higgs’ hand.

“You don’t have to take it,” Cliff said, wanting to make sure the boy knew he wasn’t being forced into anything. “But if the pain gets too much, you’ll have it on you. Ok?”

Higgs nodded.

“Good. I’ll see you both later. Be back for lunch, alright Sam?”

Sam nodded and they both waited until Cliff had left. Then Sam turned to Higgs. “Do you remember coming into the city?”

Higgs shook his head.

“I guess this will be your first time seeing it then. Do you want to grab your stuff so you can write down anything?”

Higgs nodded.

“Ok. Let’s grab that first.”

Sam followed Higgs back to his room. He spotted a bag that Higgs had hidden near the bed and watched as Higgs seemed to be planning to take the whole thing.

“You can leave it here. It’s safe.”

Higgs painfully swallowed before whispering, “You sure?”

Sam nodded. “We’re coming back for lunch. You can just bring what you’re writing on.”

Higgs hesitantly went searching through his bag again. He pulled out a small book and pencil. Sam had obviously seen such objects before, but most used the digital devices they had, and Sam certainly hadn’t seen someone so young writing with pencil and paper. Higgs took the objects, putting the pencil into the hoodie’s pocket and holding the book close to his chest.

“Ready?”

Higgs nodded.

Sam gestured for him to follow and the boy did.

It was a sunny day with almost no clouds in the sky. Higgs winced at the bright light like he hadn’t been expecting it.

“Have…have you never seen the sun?” Higgs opened his mouth, but Sam quickly added, “You shouldn’t talk right now.”

Higgs flipped open the book instead. Sam caught sight of a few pages scribbled with notes. Higgs went to the very back where the pages were completely empty. He wrote and then raised the page up.

_Heard of it._

“Right,” murmured Sam.

Higgs glanced up. It gave Sam a chance to really look at his face. That seemed to be the only smooth thing, no cuts or anything on it. If the bruises on his neck weren’t counted, then there weren’t any bruises on his face. Higgs caught Sam looking. He tugged the hood down so Sam could only see one eye, and even then he glanced away.

“This…this is where a lot of people live. It was built out of the ruins of an older city,” Sam finally got out. “You can see the old buildings mixed in with the newer ones cause they’re not protected by timefall like our home is or partially underground. Not that we get much timefall here. And it’s pretty regular when we do. You…you now what timefall is?”

Higgs just nodded.

At least Sam wouldn’t have to explain everything to him.

Sam guided Higgs down the street. There were a few people out and about. They stared in confusion at the new face, especially one so young. However, not many approached and those that tried, Sam quickly guided Higgs away. Sam doubted his father would have let them leave if he was worried about anyone knowing about Higgs. However, Sam felt that Higgs probably felt bombarded enough with everything new that he was facing. Sam might as well try to lessen the blow a bit.

The only people he didn’t really get a chance to avoid were the twins’ parents. Sam felt a little bad for running away from them, so he told Higgs to wait where he was and quickly ran over.

“Sam, I’m glad to see you’re alright,” their mother said with a knowing look.

He winced and bowed his head a little. “I’m sorry. I just—”

“It’s alright Sam,” the father said. “Cliff explained everything. Where is he now?”

“Getting things for the kid, Higgs. That’s him over there.” Sam pointed behind and glanced back. However, he quickly blinked in surprise and looked down. The twins that he could have sworn were just at their parents’ feet were now only one. Lockne was still curiously looking from behind her parents’ legs, but Målingen had somehow snuck over without anyone noticing. It was hard to tell where Higgs was looking because of the hood, but Sam would have guessed it was down and towards Målingen. She was already talking to him as he silently stared back, only for her to suddenly grab his book and open it up.

Sam ran over first as he watched Higgs both bristle and panic. Before anything could happen though, Sam was snatching the book out of her hands and giving it back to Higgs.

“That was a lot of writing,” Målingen said, her curiosity overpowering her reading of the situation as her family came up beside her. “What’s to be whipped mean?”

Sam’s eyes went a little wide. Higgs seemed to curl into himself. He looked ready to bolt. The twins’ parents had definitely heard that too. Sam got that parents were supposed to ask questions and care about a kid’s wellbeing, but Higgs was already looking freaked out. Sam quickly said, “I’ll see you later,” before either parent could ask questions. He grabbed the edge of Higgs’ sleeve and took off running down the street. Higgs seemed only too happy to follow.

They didn’t go far, but once they stopped, Sam said, “Ok, I think I have something better than the city to look at.”

Higgs shot him a confused look.

“And there aren’t any people. Sound good?”

Higgs quickly nodded at that.

“This way then.” Sam gave him another tug on his shirt before letting go and leading the way.

They walked for a bit until Sam started to guide Higgs into the places of the old city. There was one section that had been damaged by timefall early on and Middle Knot had mostly built around it. Remnants of large buildings still stood though they were unsafe for any type of daily usage. Sam was pretty sure plans were being made to try and start breaking that area down so they could use it for something else. For now though, it stood as an empty relic of the past. It also took them away from everyone else.

Sam knew the way well. No one knew he came out here, not even his dad. He went through his usual path, climbing over rust and rubble before he got into one of the buildings and went up. He knew every weak piece of floor, every missing step. He guided Higgs through it, carefully watching him to make sure he didn’t even stumble.

Eventually they got to the top floor. The roof was mostly gone. It gave a good view of the city and the world outside it. Sam didn’t say anything as he sat down near the edge. Higgs slowly followed, sitting just a little farther back. Sam just barely caught sight of Higgs’ expression. It was the first look that didn’t involve any kind of confusion, pain, or fear. He just looked amazed.

Sam’s lips quirked up slightly. Higgs’ eyes flicked left and right, up and down. As he took in everything, his fingers gently ghosted over his book. Then he took out his pencil and flicked to the last written page. He wrote a number below the last entry and then started to write something new.

Sam decided not to interrupt him. His eyes focused more on the skyline, but his mind did think on Higgs and what had just happened. Though Sam automatically thought of his dad cooking when he thought of the word ‘whipping’, Sam had managed to pick up the context Higgs had meant, even if it had gone over Målingen’s head. Sam knew the world wasn’t perfect. Far from it. His dad had to deal with so much shit, a fair amount of it coming from bad people, in order to just make a delivery and get home safely.

But never a kid. Sam had never seen someone around his age just so fucking broken. And the way his dad had looked? For the first time, Sam realized that maybe the way his dad treated him, or how the twins’ parents treated them, wasn’t the norm. Sam hoped it was the norm. But it was clear that even if it was, there were exceptions, and Higgs was a big fucking exception.

Sam’s ears picked up on Higgs’ pencil slowing. Sam finally glanced back and decided to ask a curious question, but one that hopefully wasn’t too probing. What he really wanted to know was who had done this to Higgs, how long he’d been in that bunker, how he was dealing with suddenly being ripped from a familiar situation. Instead, Sam simply asked, “What is that you’re writing? A log?”

Higgs glanced up with a small frown.

“You know? Like a report or something?”

Higgs shrugged, not arguing but not agreeing.

So Sam guessed Higgs got the meaning of what Sam was saying, yet Sam asked, “Is that not what you would call it?”

Higgs flipped to the spare, blank pages in the back again. He wrote out one word.

_Diary._

Sam slowly read the word out loud. He might have heard it before but couldn’t be sure.

“Do you write about what you go through?”

Higgs nodded.

Sam ignored the curiosity that rose in him and simply acknowledged Higgs’ response. Sam turned back to the skyline and, after a moment, heard Higgs writing again. Sam suspected he would come to learn a lot more about Higgs and his past in the coming days, maybe weeks depending on how hard it took for him to open up. For the moment though, he let Higgs be as he managed to get a break from the prying eyes, even Sam’s, and could just enjoy the feel of the sun on his back.

When it looked like it was getting close to noon, Sam finally stood up. “Are you hungry?”

Higgs shrugged.

“Well, eating something might help. Come on. Dad will be waiting for us.”

With that, Higgs and Sam slowly made their way back down the broken building, Sam gently tugging on Higgs’ sleeve to make sure he didn’t take a wrong step.


	5. A Strand to a Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, and this one mostly from Higgs' view! Now that Higgs and Sam are older, the POV will probably switch between them and Cliff regularly. A massive thanks to the comments and kudos and thanks to everyone reading this story! Also, still don't know exactly how long this story will be, but I'm thinking that I'm not going to fully jump to the teenage years until about chapter 10 or 11, so this is definitely going to be a long story. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!

Higgs had come to a few times, like waking from one dream to the next on the journey to Middle Knot City. He’d agreed to go. He’d taken the man’s hand. Yet he had felt sure that daddy would be waiting for him when he fully woke up. Higgs would roll over and daddy would tell him how much of a bad boy he’d been. Higgs would beg for forgiveness and his daddy would look him in the face and be able to tell if he really wanted to be forgiven or not.

Daddy always knew if Higgs meant it or not. Sometimes Higgs thought he was being apologetic, being respectful, but daddy always had the final say on it. He could just look into Higgs’ eyes and he knew.

But Higgs had turned around and the bunker hadn’t reappeared again. Instead, he’d met a boy and seen the man again along with another one who called himself a doctor. Higgs learned their names quickly and was shocked that even after he fully fell asleep in the bed, he still woke up in their home.

After that, Higgs had quickly accepted that daddy wasn’t suddenly going to reappear, but relief didn’t come with it like some might have expected. Instead, Higgs felt even more on edge. Why had the man taken him? Why put him with his son? The man let him go outside which was nice. That was what Higgs had been trying to accomplish. He even trusted Higgs to be by himself to a certain extent.

But Higgs didn’t understand this level of freedom. Why would Cliff take him and just…let him be? He didn’t care about Higgs. That was already obvious. Sure, he fed him and had gotten him new clothes. He’d treated the wounds and given Higgs painkillers, something he hadn’t even known existed before then. But all that was meaningless since Cliff didn’t care. If he did, he would have hit Higgs for being late for a meal, would have made him sleep on the floor when he couldn’t finish dinner because his throat hurt too much. So if he didn’t care, why waste resources on him? Why had he taken him in at all?

At the time, Higgs had been terrified. Daddy could have killed him. All he’d been able to process was that he didn’t want to die, and he would have done anything to make that happen. He might have…he could have even killed da—

But then Cliff had come and stopped all that. Higgs was thankful even if he didn’t understand why Cliff would do it. However, now that Higgs was thinking straight again, he could admit that he missed daddy. He missed the bunker.

Higgs didn’t know how to get back home though and he didn’t know how to go about finding a route. For a while, as he slowly healed, he just wrote all his thoughts into his diary. He wrote about what he saw, both the people and this new world. He wrote about his fears, his worries. He wrote an apology to daddy, a rough draft that he tried to improve on and hoped daddy would believe whenever he got back.

To be honest, Higgs didn’t absolutely hate this new place. He did enjoy being outside, seeing the structures even if he yearned for the familiar. The people he liked less, though he didn’t quite hate them yet. They were to nosy. They stared a lot and Higgs could never understand why they seemed concerned when looking at him. But Sam was pretty quiet and just the opposite of them. It was weird knowing someone his own age, but Higgs didn’t mind Sam’s company.

The only time Sam really got probing was when he asked who Higgs had lived with before.

Higgs’ throat had still been healing at that point, so he’d written his reply to Sam.

_My second daddy._

Sam had looked a little confused so Higgs had explained.

_First one died before I was born. Second one was my mamma’s brother._

“Oh,” Sam had said. “So like an uncle.”

Higgs had shrugged. The title didn’t really matter. The man had been the only father Higgs had ever known. However, he found he didn’t mind explaining that to Sam. Maybe it was because of how he was always trying to make sure Higgs was comfortable or willing to talk first, or maybe it was because they were close in age. Either way, Higgs was slowly starting to really like him. He wondered if relationships between kids the same age were meant to feel like that or if this whole thing was pretty unusual. He knew Cliff’s relationship with his son and even Higgs was unusual. Cliff didn’t love his son, not in the way Higgs was used to.

Higgs didn’t hate Cliff for that, but the man still confused him. Higgs missed knowing what to expect. He missed feeling loved and the hard journey to daddy’s approval. He never knew what to expect from Cliff.

Because of all that, after Higgs was finally given permission to talk by the doctor and it seemed he’d healed up a bit, he went to talk to Cliff about leaving.

His neck still had yellowish-green bruises along it, but the minor ones had mostly disappeared. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time his body had ached so little. Eating dinner had barely even hurt.

At the moment, Sam was sitting on the couch reading. Cliff was cleaning up the table, and Higgs had been given permission to leave. Normally he would have gone to the room he’d been using and write in his journal. This time he silently stood behind Cliff and waited until he was done though.

“Did you need something else?” Cliff asked as he put away a dishrag.

“I was wondering when I could go home.”

Higgs watched as Cliff stiffened. So…he didn’t want Higgs to go home? That was weird. Would he finally figure out why Cliff had done any of this at all? He glanced behind him and noted Sam’s equally shocked face.

Higgs carefully swallowed since his throat still hurt a bit. “What?”

“Sam, give us a moment please?” Cliff requested.

“I don’t get,” Sam muttered. “Why go back to someone who hurt you?”

“Sam, please?”

Sam shot his dad an apologetic look and disappeared to the back. However, Higgs caught the one final confused look Sam threw his way before he did. Higgs didn’t understand why.

“Do you mind sitting down?” asked Cliff.

Higgs shrugged, but Cliff seemed to take that as a yes. He walked over and sat on the couch. Higgs followed and sat next to him. He waited, but it looked like Cliff didn’t actually know what to say. Higgs repeated, “Can I go home soon?”

“N-no. No I don’t think so.” Cliff rubbed at his face. “He hurt you. Do you understand that?”

“It wasn’t his fault.”

“Higgs, he could have killed you.”

“He was just loving me in the only way he knew how.” His words looked like they were utterly breaking Cliff. Higgs still couldn’t understand why as he carefully cleared his throat again.

“What that man did wasn’t out of love.”

“Yes it was.”

“No it—”

“Yes it was,” Higgs interrupted. It was the first time he’d gotten a little upset with these new people. He watched as Cliff seemed to change strategies.

“What do you think love is?”

“What do you mean? Love is love,” mumbled Higgs as he kept his head down. “It hurts, but at least I know that means he cared about me. It’s how I know you don’t care at all.”

“You don’t think I care?”

“No. You haven’t hit me once. Course you don’t care.”

Cliff lifted his hand.

Higgs immediately closed his eyes and flinched. Was he going to try and prove him wrong? If Cliff really did care, that just left other questions like why. However, he didn’t feel a strike fall against his cheek. Instead, he felt fingers go through his hair as Cliff went under and pushed the hood he usually wore off his head. An arm went around Higgs’ shoulders and pulled him in a little closer. He felt the fingers going through his hair again, slow and calm.

“How do you feel?” Cliff softly asked.

“Confused,” mumbled Higgs as he kept his eyes closed.

“I sometimes do this for Sam if he’s stressed about something. Usually it’s about me going on an especially long trip. He hides it well, but he does worry. He also worries about you.”

“Why?”

“He feels somewhat responsible in taking care of you. And he likes having someone his age around so he definitely wants you to feel like it’s ok for you to stick around. He cares.”

Higgs was silent for a moment. He still kept his eyes crunched up, ready for the hit to come. It had to. When it seemed he would have to wait a little longer for it though, Higgs muttered, “He just asks what I’d like to do rather than doing what he’d like to do.”

“And that’s an example of caring for someone. I know this has to be incredibly hard to hear, but the man you think of as your father did not care for you.”

Higgs jerked away, scooting to the edge of the couch as he opened his eyes. Right away, he realized he wanted to be back under Cliff’s arms with that close proximity radiating warmth. He’d missed how close daddy had always been with his closed fists and sharp jabs. What Cliff was trying to give wasn’t the same, but Higgs realized he wanted that warmth.

However, he stayed where he was as the need to defend daddy outweighed his want for it. “He loves me.”

“Love should not be synonymous with pain and fear Higgs.”

“Yeah it is.”

“It’s not,” Cliff tried to stress. “Love is about kindness and caring deeply for someone else. For wanting them to always be safe. I love my son.”

Higgs shook his head. “You can’t. You don’t hit him.”

“No, and I never would. Because that isn’t love.”

For the first time in a while, Higgs started to get angry. He’d technically been angry before, but daddy had always shut that down right away. He half expected Cliff to shut it down too. When he didn’t though, Higgs sharply stood up and took a step back. “He loves me! You just don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Trust me Higgs, as a parent I really do right now. What he felt towards you was likely built out of some pathological need to control everything within his grasp.”

“He cared!” As Higgs continued to yell, he could feel the pain in his throat exponentially growing.

“You cannot say you care for someone and then willingly hurt them.”

“Yes you can!”

“No, those are polar opposites—”

“You don’t know him! He loves me!”

“He did not!” Cliff hadn’t meant to shout as he stood up to stare down at the kid, but this whole conversation was wearing down his head and heart. Still, that was no excuse and he immediately regretted it as he watched Higgs close his eyes and his body just…accept it.

He thought Cliff was going to attack him. He expected it. And the fact that his body had gone limp showed that he’d learned not to fight back, at least to a certain point.

They stood there for a moment, the quiet stretching out until Higgs finally opened one eye. Upon seeing that Cliff didn’t have a fist raised in any way, Higgs’ young face contorted into confusion and anger.

“I-I yelled at you! I made you angry! So why won’t you hit me!?” Higgs yelled, his voice becoming more and more distorted as his damaged throat kept getting worse.

“I’m not angry,” whispered Cliff. “And I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t fucking apologize!” Higgs reacted instinctually as he tried to get a reaction that he could recognize. He felt so confused and desperately wanting something familiar. So he hit Cliff in the chest. He hit him and then fully prepared himself to be kicked to the ground. He waited for Cliff to grab his face and slam it against the wall, just like daddy would.

But Cliff didn’t. He barely even reacted.

Higgs’ confusion grew. He slammed a fist against Cliff again. “Hit me! Why won’t you just put me in my fucking place!”

And Higgs hit him again.

And again.

And—

Cliff grabbed him. Higgs went limp expecting the responding strike to finally occur. Instead, he felt Cliff’s arms come around him and pull him close. Higgs’ whole body was pressed up against Cliff. He could feel the warmth coming from Cliff’s body. He could feel the comfortable weight of Cliff’s arms wrapped around his tiny shoulders. It was the attention he’d been hoping for. But the usual pain didn’t come with it. Higgs was getting the warmth without the hurt and it just confused him more.

He started to struggle. He pushed against Cliff, but he didn’t let go.

“Why won’t you hit me? Just hit me! H-hit me! Hi-hit-just hit-h—” Finally the words stopped. The tears started falling and Higgs began to sob. He was so fucking confused. Why couldn’t Cliff just hit him and let everything make sense? He’d rather have daddy’s fingers around his throat again. Damn the fact that he could have died, at least it would have made sense.

Instead, nothing seemed right anymore and all Higgs could do was cry. He couldn’t accept that his daddy didn’t love him, had never loved him. If he did that, then…then what did that make Higgs? No, Cliff didn’t know what he was talking about. He couldn’t believe him!

And yet, Higgs found he couldn’t bring himself to argue further. He just kept crying as he grew more and more tired. He expected Cliff to push him away. It was what he deserved. Instead, Cliff’s grip tightened. It wasn’t hard enough that it hurt, but just enough that even when Higgs’ legs gave out, Cliff still had him.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Cliff. “I can’t let you go back there, ever. You may not understand that, but I hope you understand this at least. I would never harm you, and my lack of hurting you is not contingent on how much I care.”

Higgs’ crying just kept coming. He just didn’t understand.

Cliff let go a little bit. He gently encouraged Higgs to look up and then carefully checked the outside of his neck.

“I doubt your throat feels any better,” sighed Cliff. “I’ll get you something to help you sleep. Alright?”

Higgs hesitantly nodded. His throat did really hurt again. He would like some type of medicine and—

And now Cliff would hold it back. He wouldn’t actually go and get any pill. He would make Higgs learn his lesson. That’s what had to happen—

But it didn’t.

When Cliff was sure Higgs could stand on his own, only then did he go and grab the medicine. He also got a glass of water and went back to Higgs’ side. Higgs was allowed to swallow the pill and did. Now Cliff would hurt him! He had to!

Instead, Cliff gently ruffled his hair, just like Higgs had seen him do with his son from time to time.

His tears started to fall harder, and his sobs started to grow again.

“It’ll be ok,” whispered Cliff. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”

And with each step, Cliff kept him upright. He kept him going until they were in the room and then Cliff was pulling the covers up and tucking him in again.

“I know you probably still don’t trust me, but I want you to know that I am here for you,” murmured Cliff. “I promise I’ll do all I can to help you, and I hope one day you can believe me when I say that.”

Cliff ruffled his hair again, even as Higgs turned his head into the pillow and continued to cry. Cliff wanted to stay by his side. If this were Sam, he would have sat down and pulled Sam’s head into his lap. He’d run his fingers through his hair in steady, calming rhythms that Sam could breathe in time to. And when the sobbing finally stopped, Cliff would have kissed him on top of the head and then pulled him even closer before they fell asleep together.

But this wasn’t Sam, and any act of kindness would likely confuse Higgs even more right now. Cliff could only push so far before Higgs just blocked him out entirely and fell on trying to defend the man who had raised him again. For now, Cliff had to leave him be as he left the door propped open and went to his own bedroom. Thankfully, Sam had stayed in there during it all, but apparently he’d still heard parts of the conversation.

“Why would he want you to hit him? Why would anyone want to get hit?” Sam immediately asked as Cliff walked in with a tired sigh.

“He doesn’t want that,” Cliff tried to explain.

“Then why say it?”

Cliff sat down next to his son and pulled him close as he tried to think up an answer.

Despite knowing death very well, Cliff rarely actively wished it upon someone, even an enemy. He had killed in the army because he’d had to. It had been calculated, logical, not emotional in the slightest. But this? A man that could twist a kid’s head so far around that he thought the only way to be loved was through pain? That he thought he deserved everything that came his way? That he thought the best choice was to go back to that situation despite how it had nearly killed him?

A man that could do all that was somebody that caused a cold rage to seep into Cliff. It was good he hadn’t known all this when he’d saved Higgs. If he had, he wouldn’t have been able to stop at simply knocking the man out.

“Dad?”

Cliff managed to come out of his head as Sam tugged at his sleeve. “Sorry,” he murmured. He rubbed his face again. “What was the question?”

“About how come Higgs doesn’t know what he wants. I don’t get it.”

“It’s…because of how he was raised. What we think of as obvious doesn’t always come to him because he makes different connections. Very bad connections that should never have formed in the first place.”

“So when he says he wanted you to hit him, he was wanting something else?”

Cliff nodded.

“How could anyone think like that?”

“Because he hasn’t known anything else,” Cliff replied. “It’s not his fault. But it does mean this transition may be more difficult than we both thought.”

Sam looked sad at the thought. “That’s ok,” he mumbled.

“You can be honest with me.”

“I know. But I mean it. I don’t…I don’t like thinking that anyone could be hurt so bad that they don’t know right from wrong. But that just means I want him to be ok even more.”

“Good. I do to. Of course, I don’t know how long it’ll take for him to truly trust and believe me, but this is where you can come in. Though his relationship with his father figure was twisted, other relationships are new territory for him. You can be the one to begin setting a good example for him. You’ll have more luck being his friend first before me. Do you think you can do that?”

Sam quickly nodded. “You can count on me.”

“I knew I could.” Cliff kissed him on the head before leaning over and picking up the book Sam had been reading before. “How about you read to me and then we can go to bed. Yeah?”

Sam nodded in agreement as they readjusted on Cliff’s bed. He wrapped Sam up in his arms and listened as his son read aloud from the story. They’d been sleeping in his bed since Higgs had got there, wanting to give him as much room as possible. In the long run, Cliff would have to figure out what to do. Perhaps somehow get another bed in there so they could share the room? Cliff hoped that would be alright with both of them. Otherwise one might have to call the living room their bedroom and Cliff doubted that would work. They were both growing boys at ages twelve and thirteen. They would want their own privacy soon as all growing kids did.

Cliff would just have to talk to them about it so they could come up with the best solution. But later though. Right now, he mainly needed to focus on Higgs and improving the relationship there. Cliff would have liked to use the next day or two to begin working on that, but unexpectedly work came up.

The doctor was over to check on Higgs’ throat the morning after the outburst. Despite the yelling he had done yesterday, he still looked like he was on the proper road to recovery and would be fully healed in at least one week’s time, maybe a week and a half.

After the doctor had finished up, Higgs had murmured, “Can I go to my room?”

“If you want,” Cliff replied. Since yesterday, Higgs had withdrawn even more. It was likely a defense mechanism to protect himself from Cliff proving him right. Of finally hitting him. Of finally proving that pain and kindness went hand in hand. Cliff would never do that to Higgs, but Higgs thought he would so that was where Sam would hopefully come in as Cliff had been pushed out for now.

He wanted to work on this though. To at least try and breach Higgs’ defenses. But before the doctor left, he said, “This is also a visit for me to give you an order. I need you to deliver medicine to a waystation off to the west.”

“Now isn’t really a good time.”

“Is it ever? Listen, you promised me anything in exchange for me giving that boy medicine and treatment that I couldn’t afford to give. Well this is the favor. Those people out there will die if these drugs aren’t delivered to them stat. And even if you didn’t owe me a favor, you’re one of the fastest porters and the quickest route goes straight through mule territory. I need you Cliff. The packages will be ready for pick-up within the next two hours.”

Cliff let out a tired sigh. He couldn’t argue with this. The doctor had a point. He asked, “How long?”

“Including the return trip? Close to a week. I’d say take a bike, but you would only get so far.”

“Rocky terrain then,” sighed Cliff. “Alright. Get the packages ready. I’ll meet you in two hours.”

“Thank you,” the doctor replied as he finally packed up his things and left. Cliff let out another tired sigh, running a hand through his hair before he headed to the back. Thankfully Sam was in the room with Higgs. Since it was still early in the morning, Sam was picking out clothes and probably going to go take a shower. Higgs was curled up on a corner of the bed though his journal wasn’t in hand today. He just kept his head down, the hood pulled tightly over.

“Boys?” Cliff waited until they were both looking at him, though it was kind of hard to tell if Higgs was as he kept his hood on. Cliff didn’t address that for now and simply said, “I need to make a delivery. It’s going to be a long one.”

“How long?” asked Sam.

“A week this time. Maybe a little longer depending on how things go and how the terrain looks.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now. Some people are very sick, and they need this delivery as quickly as possible. I’ll have you stay with the twins of course.”

Higgs seemed to curl up even more at the idea though he didn’t say anything. Thankfully, Sam caught the action too and spoke for him. “He doesn’t really like them. They’re really nosy.”

“Well they are six.”

“I know, but…it would be pretty crowded too,” Sam said. “What if we just…stayed here by ourselves?”

Cliff rubbed his chin as he looked between the two of them. There had been a quick spark of hope in Higgs but that had quickly diminished. He clearly didn’t believe that Cliff would trust them like that. But…

“How about this?” Cliff said. “Their parents will check in on you from time to time, make sure there’s plenty of food in the fridge, anything like that. But you are growing up. So think of this as a trial run. You’re both the men of the house so take care of it.”

Sam’s eyes lit up. Higgs looked surprised. “You mean that?” asked Sam.

Cliff nodded. “Of course, if their parents want you to babysit the twins at any point, I expect you to do that. They’ve been very kind to us in watching you for all these years. It’s only right we repay that.”

“Of course,” Sam said.

“Good. I won’t leave for another couple of hours so I’ll try to make sure there’s plenty of food for you both before I go. Higgs?”

Finally the boy looked him in the face, though he avoided direct eye contact.

“You have three pills left in the cabinet in the kitchen if you need them. Feel free to contact the doctor if anything suddenly gets worse though. Ok?”

Higgs hesitantly nodded. Cliff wasn’t sure if Higgs would actually follow through with any of that, but he hoped Sam would be able to encourage him if needed.

With all that figured out, Cliff went to make sure they had plenty of food. Then he got dressed in his usual outfit for deliveries and headed to the doctor’s place. The packages were fragile and couldn’t be submerged meaning that going through mule territory would be even more of a pain. However, Cliff was a man of his word and he wasn’t going to deny people in need.

After the packages were secured, he grabbed his own provisions for his trip along with one non-lethal gun. He would normally take at least two if he knew he was going through dangerous territory. However, he was already carrying a lot and didn’t want to risk being slowed down if he did have to run from the mules.

Thus, with everything secured, he took the long walk to the distribution center that sat at the main entrance to the city. Sam was waiting there like he always did when Cliff was going on a longer trip. The only difference this time was Higgs was awkwardly standing with him.

“You’ll be ok?” Sam clarified as Cliff stopped in front of him.

“Always. And you really think you’re big enough to look after yourself now?”

Sam gave an earnest nod. “I’ll take care of everything.”

“Good. I know I can count on you.” Cliff pulled him into a hug and kissed him on the top of his head. Looking over, he saw Higgs duck his head down. Cliff hesitated. However, he’d be away for some time. He decided to push just a tiny bit before he left. He walked over and hugged Higgs too. He could feel how the boy tensed, still ready for a strike to occur. However, after a moment Cliff could tell he wanted to stay in the warm embrace. Cliff hoped a day would come where he would simply welcome something as simple as a hug and not fear being hit at all.

“Remember,” Cliff said as he pulled away from Higgs, “if you need anything, just ask. Sam will help. The people here will help. Alright?”

Higgs nodded though he still avoided Cliff’s gaze. Hopefully if he really needed anything, Sam would be able to help him if Higgs didn’t want to ask.

“Don’t worry,” Cliff said again to Sam. “I’ll be home soon. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Sam said as he quickly went in for one last hug.

This was always the hardest part as Cliff finally had to drop his arms and walk away. He always promised Sam that he would come back home. He would always do everything he could in order to make that true. But the world was a dangerous place. Things outside Cliff’s control happened and maybe one day Cliff wouldn’t be able to keep that promise.

He hated thinking about that. He hated it even more because he was pretty sure Sam knew that too. Cliff would have given anything to let Sam grow up in a completely safe and warm environment. He wished Sam never had to think even for a second that his dad could just not come back.

But that wasn’t the world they lived in. This was it and Cliff had to walk away and outside the city’s limits.

He walked for a while, readjusting his grip as he went. After several long minutes though, he did glance back. He was just barely able to see Middle Knot behind him.

“A week,” he sighed. “A week and then I’ll be back Sam.”

With that, Cliff returned to the planned route and didn’t look back again.

In the city, Higgs was still hugging himself. It was both to try and keep in the warmth of the hug Cliff had given him, but also to keep anyone else from touching him. He was still so confused. Cliff had said he’d loved Sam, had hugged him and kissed him on the head. Did he really mean that despite how he hadn’t hit Sam once?

Higgs still couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to. If he did, then that would mean daddy had never…he had never meant…

Sam pulled him out of his head before he could fall into a panic. It was just a slight tug of his sleeve, but it was enough to make Higgs glance up.

“We’ve got some records of footage from before the Death Stranding on our terminal,” said Sam. “Want to watch some of those?”

Higgs hesitantly nodded. Usually Sam liked to read and Higgs would hide in his journal, either writing new entries or re-reading old ones. But he didn’t want to stay locked in his head and if Sam was offering that choice, then Higgs would take it, even if he was afraid it might be a trick or Sam might suddenly reject the offer.

For now though, Sam did neither and simply tugged on the edge of his sleeve again. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

And they did.


	6. A Strand to a Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried my best to plan this story out and it looks like it'll be about 30 chapters with about a 3rd occurring during Sam's early adolescence, a third during the later teen years, and a third during young adulthood. Also, I'll try to update this week, but it's finals so it may be a little later.
> 
> Anyways, a massive thank you as always for the comments and kudos. They seriously make my day. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Sam had come to know a few things about Higgs. He knew that he was a few months older than Sam and was already thirteen. He knew Higgs understood dangers like timefall and BTs and voidouts (though he didn’t originally know them all by those words). Higgs didn’t understand modern tech that could be found in the city or a lot about nature though. Sam also knew Higgs liked to keep a diary. For Higgs, writing in his diary was a way of escape as he completely blocked out the world.

He knew Higgs had been hurt. He knew it had been Higgs’ father figure and that the man had been all Higgs had known for the longest time. He knew Higgs liked to hide his face as he’d kept the hoodie Sam had originally let him borrow and almost always kept it up.

Sam knew a lot, and yet nothing at all. Part of it was because Higgs hadn’t been able to talk. Part of it was that Sam hadn’t wanted to push into topics Higgs wasn’t ready to talk about. But, after the first day of them having the house to themselves, Sam realized that the thing that had really kept him from learning more about Higgs had been Cliff.

Just from what little his dad had told him about army life along with the reputation he held as a capable porter, Sam knew that his dad could be a force to be reckoned with. He was one man, yet he handled groups of mules and terrorist cells better than four porters put together could. But he’d never scared Sam. And the idea that any other kid would be terrified of him? It seemed ridiculous. Yet it was only with their new privacy that Higgs opened up more and started to respond to Sam’s questions with more than a shrug.

It started off simple. Sam asked if Higgs was hungry and for the first time, Higgs murmured, “Yeah.”

Though surprising, it had made Sam smile. He made sure to continue asking Higgs questions, and for the most part, he answered them. On the third day, Sam asked a more complicated one that couldn’t be answered by ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

“What do you want for dinner?”

Higgs blinked in confusion. “But…but shouldn’t we only eat what’s in the fridge?”

“I mean, if there’s something in there you want, we can just eat that. But we could pick something else? It’s up to you.”

“Won’t your dad get mad?”

Sam hadn’t tried to convince Higgs to not be afraid of his dad yet. As Cliff had said, he’d only known one father so thinking there were others that were less cruel wasn’t obvious to him. It would mostly be on Higgs if he was able to see Cliff as the man he was, not the man Higgs expected him to be. Sam simply said, “He won’t mind.”

Higgs still looked unsure.

Sam thought up something different to say. Though he knew he would never have to actually back these words up, he said them to try and make Higgs feel better. “I’ll protect you.”

Higgs’ eyes went a little wide. “You mean that?”

Sam nodded. “So, what do you want?”

There was a chance Higgs hadn’t gotten a lot of variety in the bunker. He also hadn’t gotten to try a lot that they offered in the city since being able to eat solids was only a recent development. Sam wondered if he would have to give some suggestions, but before he could start making an internal list, Higgs surprised him.

“Pizza?”

“Really?”

Higgs took Sam’s response as a negative one despite how it really was just pure surprise on Sam’s part. Higgs immediately closed himself off again. “We can have what you want.”

“What? No. I’ll have to go see if anyone can make us one or has the ingredients for it, but that works.”

Higgs still looked hesitant.

“It’s seriously no problem. I’ll go send out a request now.”

Sam quickly got up and went to the terminal before Higgs could argue. One glance back told Sam that Higgs was expecting Sam to go back on his word. However, Sam finished typing what was needed and then sat back with Higgs. However, Higgs had already wrapped his arms around his legs and ducked his head from view.

A small frown formed on Sam’s face. “Did you change your mind? We can figure something else out for dinner.”

Higgs shook his head. His reply was too muffled for Sam to understand.

“Do you want something else?”

Higgs shook his head again. He spoke a little louder. “What if you get hurt?”

Again, Sam had to keep himself from immediately denying that would ever happen. Higgs just wouldn’t believe it. Instead, he focused on the fact that Higgs seemed to care about what happened to him which was a nice enough sentiment, even if it was unnecessary.

“I won’t get hurt,” Sam tried to assure him.

Higgs looked doubtful. “But you said you’d protect me.”

“I will, but I won’t get hurt protecting you either,” replied Sam. “I may be shorter than you, but I can fight ten men at least.”

Higgs snorted.

It seemed to take them both by surprise. For Sam, it was the second time he’d seen anything positive show on Higgs’ face. The first time had been when they’d sat on the rubble of the building with Higgs enjoying the sun. Now it was with Higgs holding back a laugh. But the moment was broken as he froze and seemed to look over his shoulder. Just in case.

“Hey, it’s not funny. I can definitely fight that many,” Sam sarcastically said, trying to drag Higgs out of his head. “Bet I could even carry you if I needed to.”

“Really?” The humor wasn’t quite back but it did look like Sam had successfully distracted Higgs.

“I get plenty of practice carrying both the twins around.”

Higgs made a face.

He hadn’t met the twins again since that first time. Sam understood it probably wasn’t the best first impression, but he did defend her and said, “Hey, Målingen is really sorry about all that.”

Higgs ducked his head again and mumbled, “She poked her head into my diary. And it’s the only thing that’s really mine.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam repeated. “And if she’s ever around you, she promises not to do it again. She’s young though. Little kids are always curious. You know?”

Sam waited, but Higgs didn’t respond right away. Curiosity… It wasn’t that he was no longer curious. But the way Sam had said that reawakened old memories. Daddy had crushed it nice and quick, but there had been a time when he hadn’t been afraid to ask questions. He’d once wanted to learn about everything. Most of those early feelings were gone, but Higgs could silently admit that Sam had made him curious again. Higgs couldn’t trust Cliff of course, but with Sam he didn’t fear asking questions and Sam’s answers didn’t come with threats or closed fists.

Again, since Sam was the first kid Higgs had ever met, he wasn’t sure if this was normal. However, he did like being able to go back and forth with Sam and know pain wouldn’t accompany it.

Higgs still couldn’t believe that pain wouldn’t come with other adults, especially Cliff. But at least with Sam, Higgs felt a little physically safer.

He was suddenly dragged out of his head as Sam gently tugged on his sleeve. “You ok?” asked Sam.

Higgs nodded. “Yeah. So…it really is ok to eat something else?” He wanted to make sure just once more. If Sam wanted to back out and change his mind, he could.

But of course, Sam didn’t. He just softly smiled and Higgs’ lips quirked up in response. A sound dinged and then Sam was running back to the terminal to read the response. Higgs inch by inch unfolded himself, no longer feeling a need to hide except for his face.

Sam walked back over and said, “So there’s good and bad news.”

Higgs peaked out from beneath the hood.

“I can get everything, but it’s up to us to make it. You good with that?”

“So making food…together?”

Sam nodded.

“If it’s ok…”

“Definitely ok. We’ll do that then.”

Sam responded to the messages and then a few minutes later he led Higgs into the city. They went to three separate people to get the ingredients they needed. It was an interesting time for both of them, especially Sam as he wasn’t used to being the one to talk. Usually his dad did it or it was the twins rambling on and on. Sam didn’t mind of course. Anything to draw the attention away from Higgs since the light bruises on his neck still caused everyone’s faces to warp into looks of concern and pity.

During every conversation, Higgs basically hid behind Sam despite his taller stature. He just silently took whatever Sam handed him and then the two were heading back home. Sam got down the utensils they would need after everything was set up on the counter. He looked to Higgs to see if he had any suggestions. However, he barely even moved. It looked like Sam would be doing most of the instructing and he did just that.

If Sam was cooking with his dad, Cliff would usually be telling some story as they worked, or Sam might ask a few questions that he would be answering. If he was recently back from a delivery, Sam would ask about that, or Sam would tell his dad what he and the twins had gotten up to while he was gone.

It wasn’t that Sam didn’t mind the silence with Higgs. Sometimes Sam liked to just lean against his dad’s chest and feel his heartbeat after a particularly long day. And Sam’s whole reason for going into the rubble was because there was almost no sound as well. Just the wind occasionally whistling through rusty metal.

However, this was more awkward, and Sam didn’t want to seem bossy. Though to be fair, Higgs wasn’t giving him much to work with.

Still, Sam decided to try and ask some questions of his own, though he was careful not to probe to deeply. “You really like that hoodie, huh?”

Higgs immediately ducked his head lower. “You can have it back,” he whispered.

“You can keep it. It’s a gift,” Sam said. He spotted one of Higgs’ eyes staring back. A little confused. A little hopeful. “I mean, dad can get you one that’s better fitting since it is a bit short on you.”

Higgs looked down. He readjusted the hem a little, thinking it over. “It’s a gift?” he whispered.

“Yeah.” For a split second, Sam worried that Higgs didn’t know what a gift was, or maybe he had some messed-up connotation with that too. Thankfully, that didn’t seem to be the case.

Higgs replied, “So I could mess with it?”

“Sure?” Sam didn’t really know what Higgs had in mind, but if he felt comfortable in experimenting with his own look, then Sam felt happy too.

Higgs looked down, his mind silently working before he turned back to the task at hand. Silence fell again and Sam tried to think of something else to talk about. Seeing as anything personal might be too much, Sam tried something different. “Do you believe in the Beach?”

“I…think so. I think I’ve been there before.”

“To your own?”

“Does everyone have their own?”

“It’s a theory,” Sam replied. “I think I’ve been too. When I’m sleeping or something.”

Higgs nodded in agreement. He glanced over. “Do you think it’s evil?”

“Why would you say evil?”

“That’s what daddy called it. Said the whole world had gone to shit because of the sins of humanity. That we were being punished or something.”

“I can’t say whether or not we’re being punished,” Sam said, “but I think the Beach just is. You know? Like the ground can’t be evil. It’s just there.”

Sam just barely caught sight of Higgs’ lips quirking up into a sad smile. “I like that idea.”

Sam decided to push a little. “Why?”

“Just…I learned not to talk about it real quick with daddy. He said I was connected to the Beach. Said that made me wrong.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“I have to be. At least a little. Otherwise daddy wouldn’t have said it.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re wrong.”

“Thanks Sam,” whispered Higgs as he finished up the next task.

They went on for a little while longer. This time the silence wasn’t as awkward so Sam let it sit. They were getting close to done. The dough was finally ready so they could start putting stuff on it. Sam said, “I know this isn’t where you want to be, but I like having you around Higgs.”

Higgs blinked in surprise. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes I do. It’s nice. I mean, I like being with the twins when dad’s gone off on a job, but this is a nice change of pace too. It’s nice knowing someone my own age.”

Higgs didn’t try to deny it this time, but he still looked unsure.

“I hope you like having me around too.”

Sam waited. He hoped for a response as Higgs started to fiddle with the hem of his hoodie again.

“I like…I like having you around too,” murmured Higgs.

Sam smiled. He grabbed the next bag and pulled it over. “How much cheese?”

“You’re asking me?”

Sam nodded. He waited as Higgs’ face morphed and changed, his mind working hard as he tried to read the situation. He even looked over his shoulder again, just in case. But he seemed to finally get into his head that it really was just the two of them, at least for now. Though the smile was shy, it was the brightest one Sam had seen yet.

“All of it.”

“All of it!?”

Higgs quickly nodded.

Sam tried not to laugh as he opened it up and said, “Well alright then. Grab the sauce first.”

Higgs did, spreading it out over the dough before Sam tipped the bag over and poured the cheese every which way. Parts would definitely fall off and stick to the pan, but Sam decided to deal with that later as they shoved it in as it was. With nothing but time to wait for now, Sam pulled out water and sat down in the nearest chair. Higgs hesitated, but when Sam pushed a glass of water over for him in front of another chair, he finally sat down too.

Just looking over him, Sam could tell Higgs felt more relaxed. It was sad that the feeling was accompanied with his dad’s absence. Hopefully Higgs would learn that he shouldn’t fear him at all. For now, Sam took advantage of it though and tried to continue the conversation. The past few days had been pretty quiet with Sam occasionally showing Higgs what archival footage they had on hand or the books his dad had procured. But ultimately Higgs had always disappeared to his room with his journal in hand. This was the longest they had actually hung out together without Higgs ducking away yet.

Sam asked, “What do you want to do tomorrow?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we have about four days left. Just the two of us. What do you want to do?”

Higgs thought about it for a second. “Can we go back to the ruins?”

“Yeah?”

Higgs nodded. Then he blinked in surprise and murmured, “You look…happy.”

“Just never had anyone to share it with. And it’s nice to get away from everything.”

Higgs softly agreed before he took another sip of his water. He looked like he was about to say something but then quieted. Sam wondered what it could have been about. Instead of asking, he hoped Higgs might tell him some day and Sam asked a different question instead. “What do you want to do with the hoodie?”

“It’s…an idea.”

“What do you need?”

Again, Higgs looked surprised, like he couldn’t believe Sam still wanted to even sit in the same room with him. He finally murmured, “Scissors.”

Sam immediately got up to grab some as the pizza continued to cook. He set them down and as he did, Higgs pulled the black hoodie off his head so that he was only wearing the yellow, long-sleeved shirt underneath. He glanced up again, like Sam might stop him, but Sam just gestured for him to continue.

Higgs bent forward so Sam couldn’t really see his face as he double checked measurements and where exactly the hoodie fell on him. Then he started to snip at the fabric. It didn’t take long before he was putting the scissors to the side along with the parts he’d just cut off. He pulled it on again, quickly throwing up the hood so Sam only caught sight of one pale eye.

Higgs glanced at Sam and then back down a couple of times before risking to ask, “What do you think?”

Now the yellow undershirt could be seen as Higgs had cut three triangle sections out of each sleeve. They were surprisingly well spaced and looked pretty nice. He’d also cut the main part of the hoodie so again the undershirt could be seen, and the hoodie came up to just above his stomach.

Sam smiled. “I like it.”

“Yeah?”

“I think Lockne would call it fashionable. Not really good with all that or knowing what looks good on me. But I like that on you.”

Higgs ducked his head lower, but Sam still caught the glimpse of the smile. The timer dinged.

“Let’s see if it’s almost done.”

They got up to check. Then Sam went ahead and got plates down for them and refilled the water. Once it was fully done, they carefully pulled out the gooey, cheesy mess. They took turns cutting it to the best of their abilities, but neither really cared how it looked since it would be in their stomachs soon.

“A porter managed to find some old footage on a trip and brought it to the city. It was supposed to be uploaded to the city’s network yesterday. Want to see what it is?”

“Sure.”

They sat down and began to eat as Sam flicked through the terminal’s menus. He eventually found what he was looking for and as he clicked it, he noted Higgs had already downed two slices. Sam put one of his on Higgs’ plate.

He suddenly looked unsure again. “What about you?”

“I’ve got enough. And you look hungry.”

When Sam didn’t immediately go back on his words, Higgs didn’t try to fight it further. He quickly ate all that he could as they watched the screen. What they had was a mixture of material. Movies and shows, news reports, advertisements for things that didn’t exist anymore. As they watched another, Higgs commented on one of them, murmuring, “Going to the moon seems impossible.”

“I know,” Sam said, his wide eyes stuck to the screen. “But then they probably thought the Beach was impossible.”

“And BTs.”

“Yep.”

They watched for a while. Anything that would have been leftovers Sam put on Higgs’ plate and he ate them all immediately. He really looked relaxed, more than ever before as he slouched down on the couch with one hand thrown over his full stomach. They put up the plates and cleaned up together before sitting back on the couch. They watched a few other things. Then it grew later, and Sam stretched, letting out a long yawn. He tried to decide whether or not he was going to take a shower. He stood up, ready to ask Higgs if he was ready to go to bed too.

However, Higgs must have taken his actions to mean he was just going to leave. Higgs reached out and started to say, “Sam, I wanted to say earlier—”

He grabbed Sam’s arm.

It wasn’t Higgs’ fault. He hadn’t been told. With everything that had been going on for Higgs and with him remaining pretty distant anyways, there hadn’t been a reason to tell him yet. Now, the consequences of that came out in full force. Sam couldn’t stop the instinctual reaction. He yelped and tore his arm from Higgs’ grasp. By the time he fully turned back, Higgs was curled up and had completely covered his face. He was shaking and whispering again and again.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Over and over he went.

Sam shivered as he rubbed at the hives on his skin. After he was over the uncomfortable shock, he quickly sat down and gently tugged at Higgs’ shirt.

He flinched.

Then he started whispering over and over again. Right up until Sam interrupted him. “I’m sorry,” he stressed. “I should have mentioned it before.”

“M-mentioned what?” Higgs didn’t dare to look up, not yet.

“I have a thing about touching.” Sam tugged on Higgs’ sleeve again. This time he looked up just a little. He spotted the mark on Sam’s arm. Higgs’ lip trembled.

“I-I’m—”

“It’s ok. It’ll go away eventually. Just…yeah.”

They sat there silently for a bit. Higgs wiped at his face. He looked stuck in between wanting to bolt and straight up crying. Instead, he managed to breath in and slowly asked, “Your dad…?”

“I’m fine with him. And it’s not like I…can’t. I just got to get used to the person. And still be kind of prepared for it.”

Higgs looked down. He thought on that for a moment and then finally murmured, “You always tugged on my clothes. Or wrapped your hand in your shirtsleeve before touching me.”

Sam nodded.

“I should have noticed. I’m—”

“It’s ok Higgs. Seriously,” Sam interrupted. “It’s not like you’ve met someone with this phobia before. You couldn’t have known. And it’s not like any harm has been done.”

“Are you sure?”

Sam nodded. However, since Higgs didn’t look so sure, Sam held out his hand. “Here.”

Sam took Higgs’ pinky. A feeling went through Sam that made him wiggle a bit from the uncomfortable nature of it. However, he always did better if he initiated it and the touch was small. The feeling managed to pass for the most part and he sat there holding Higgs’ pinky.

“I didn’t mean to freak you out. Sorry.”

“It’s ok,” whispered Higgs.

Sam squeezed Higgs’ pinky again trying to make him feel a bit better. “What were you going to say?”

“Hmm?”

“You were going to say something. Right before I freaked out?”

“Oh…”

“You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to now.”

“No…just…I wanted to say I was happy today. And…and I don’t hurt. I feel happy and don’t hurt.”

“I’m glad,” murmured Sam as he finally let go. “Tomorrow can be even better though.”

“Better?”

“Sure. I can show you more of the ruins. Like you wanted. We could even make some food and take it with us.”

Higgs sniffed a little. “I like the sound of that.”

“Good. We’re definitely doing that then. Ready for bed now?”

Higgs nodded.

“You want the shower first?”

“You go. I’ll take one in the morning.”

“Thanks.” Sam waited for a second as he slowly stood up. He wasn’t sure if Higgs really thought this was ok. He looked like he was still freaking out about what he’d done. “It’s ok,” Sam softly added. “It is. I’m not mad.”

“I know,” whispered Higgs.

Sam didn’t want to be rude and ask something like ‘do you?’ He just murmured, “Well I still had fun today. Cooking. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”

“Night,” Higgs replied.

Sam then left the living room first after turning everything else off. He went straight to the shower. After washing, he got dressed for bed and was ready to head to his dad’s room when he heard a noise coming from his own. Though his dad had usually left the door propped after checking on Higgs, Sam had noticed that Higgs had never fully closed door himself. Sam had wondered if it had something to do with not having permission before. Maybe whatever room he’d had in the bunker wasn’t truly private and his old man had required he be able to hear or see into his room at all times. It would certainly explain why Higgs thought his diary was his only private space.

Whatever the reason though, Sam heard the noise. He almost thought about going to bed. He wasn’t sure if Higgs would want the attention right now. What if Sam pushing in would just make Higgs more upset?

But then Sam heard another tortured cry and decided he couldn’t just stand by. He had to at least try.

Sam walked in to see Higgs curled up on his bed. He was trying to cover up the sobs, muffling them into the pillow, but it wasn’t enough. Sam could still hear them leaking through as he finally risked knocking on the doorframe.

“Higgs?”

He watched as Higgs curled in further. He still had his hood up, but now he threw his blanket over himself, completely covering his body. Sam thought for sure it was Higgs’ way of telling him to get out. However, he decided to try once more.

“If you want to be alone, I’ll leave. But I can stay. If you want.”

There was silence for so long that Sam wondered if Higgs might have passed out from exhaustion. Instead, right before Sam decided to go back to his dad’s bed, he heard a muffled, “You’d stay for me?”

“Of course.”

Higgs didn’t respond again. Since it wasn’t an outright, “Get out!” Sam risked it and stepped forward. He got close to the bed and asked, “Won’t you get hot?”

“I don’t want to accidently touch you,” whispered Higgs.

“It’s not the end of the world if you do. But thanks,” Sam replied. “You sure you won’t get hot?”

“I’m fine,” Higgs murmured, still not turning around.

Sam went back over to turn out the lights and then climbed in. He wrapped the sheet around himself. He then hesitated for a second before putting an arm around Higgs, trying to be as comforting as possible. Sam had seen how in the small kind touches his dad had given Higgs, the kid had practically melted even if he still thought a punch was going to be thrown. Sam wasn’t comfortable enough to give Higgs the physical comfort he so clearly yearned for. However, with the several layers of clothes, blankets, and sheets between them, Sam didn’t feel that uncomfortable sensation he usually felt. He could also feel Higgs immediately easing into the touch, just so desperately wanting someone to be close even if physical contact was avoided.

So Sam stayed. Higgs was taller but Sam was wider and it kind of felt like holding a lumpy pillow. He pressed his nose to the blankets in the area that was Higgs’ back. He hated how clearly Higgs hadn’t thought it was ok. He probably thought he’d screwed everything up by the small touch, and it broke Sam’s heart that he hadn’t been able to convince Higgs otherwise. Even now, Higgs probably thought he’d ruined things or that Sam would leave or something else. Sam wished he could talk to his dad now, desperately. Maybe he would know what to do.

With that final thought, Sam managed to fall asleep.

As he slept, he dreamed. And then he found himself on the Beach.

It wasn’t the first time Sam had found it. However, it was the first time there had been other people there, and Sam had a distinct sense that he wasn’t actually on his own Beach. However, it didn’t matter as he recognized one of the people.

“Dad!” Sam excitedly cried. He started to run towards him as his dad spun around.

Cliff immediately ran and met Sam halfway. With a small huff, he quickly picked Sam up and started to take him away from the other person. She was wearing red and waved at Sam. Sam waved back before his dad set him down back on the sand.

As his dad worriedly looked him over, Sam asked, “Who’s that woman and why does she look so sad?”

“No one for you to worry about,” murmured Cliff before he dragged Sam’s gaze back to him. “Jesus, you’re really here.”

“I missed you. And…and I think I messed things up with Higgs. I think he thinks I don’t like him anymore.”

Cliff glanced back, but as the woman hadn’t approached them, he turned to Sam and asked, “What happened?”

“He touched me. And I didn’t mean to jump back! But it freaked me out, and it freaked Higgs out, and now I think he’s holding it against himself. He was crying in his room. I don’t think he believed me when I said it was ok,” murmured Sam with a sad sigh.

“Did you leave him be?”

“No. I fell asleep next to him actually. I wanted him to know he wasn’t alone.”

“That’s very kind of you,” murmured Cliff as he kissed his son on top of his head. “I’m sure that will help. He may still doubt you tomorrow, but you showing him kind actions like that will speak louder than any words you could say. Now, is that the only reason you came looking for me?”

“Well, for advice and because I miss you.”

“I know,” Cliff replied as he ruffled Sam’s hair. “But don’t worry. I’m almost to my destination. Once the packages are dropped off, I’ll head back right away. I know this is going to be one of the longest deliveries, but I’ll be home soon.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Cliff said. He took Sam’s hand and started to guide him away from the waves lapping at the shore. “Now, let’s get you home.”

Sam glanced back, wondering if the woman in red would follow them. However, she stayed where she was and the next thing Sam knew, he was awake again. His dad was gone, but Sam felt better as he now had confirmation his dad was ok. Since Higgs was clearly still asleep, Sam stayed curled against him and dozed off during the early morning.


	7. A Strand to a Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thanks again! This chapter was a lot of fun to write. I hope to include more of Lockne and Målingen going forward. I definitely have some fun plans for them. Thanks again for the comments and kudos and hope you enjoy <3

Higgs had thought he’d fucked it all up. He liked Sam. He liked that Sam was nice to him. He felt like he could slowly open up to him. But then Higgs had done that. He’d felt Sam rip his arm away and Higgs had hidden himself to the best of his ability. Nothing Sam could say would make it better. The moment Sam had left, Higgs had gone to bed and wrapped himself up. He’d screwed it up. It was all his fault. It would always be his—

And then Sam had asked if he could stay.

It had felt so nice. Even with the blankets and clothes between them. If anything, that kind of made it better. He’d never felt so warm, so wrapped up and safe. It was nice, but it surely couldn’t last. When Higgs woke up the next morning, Sam would be gone and Higgs—

He still wasn’t alone.

Sam had shifted a bit, but he still had one arm thrown over Higgs’ side and Higgs relished in the comfortable weight. He curled in. He almost wanted to grab Sam’s hand, pull him closer, but he didn’t dare now that he knew about Sam’s thing. Instead, he just pulled the blanket a little tighter and kept his hands underneath it.

He heard Sam make a small noise. Sam retracted his arm a little and asked, “Are you awake?”

“Yeah. And you…you stayed.”

“Of course. I didn’t want you to be sad anymore.”

“Thanks,” Higgs softly said. He couldn’t be positive that Sam wouldn’t pull back. If not today, then maybe tomorrow he would push Higgs to the side. For now though, Higgs took advantage of the kindness and just stayed there a moment longer, trying to remember every detail of what this kind of proximity felt like.

Sam didn’t argue. He stayed with him for a while until he asked, “Want to still go to the ruins?”

“If you’d like—”

“Nope, this is you. If you want to still go, we’ll go explore them together. If you want to do something else, we’ll do that.”

Higgs was silent for a second.

“So, do you?”

“Y-yes. Yeah. Are we still going to bring food?” Higgs hesitantly asked over his shoulder.

“Sure. I’ll go grab some stuff. Do you want to take a shower?”

Higgs nodded.

“Cool. You do that and I’ll set up a bag so we can leave right away.”

With that, Sam finally jumped out of bed and headed to the kitchen. Higgs got up a little slower. When he got to the shower, he finally pulled the hoodie off and everything else. He got in and leaned against the nearest wall as the water started to spray. His eyes remained tightly shut. A shuttering sigh escaped his lips.

Cliff he couldn’t be sure about. The man had stated his intentions, but they were intentions that Higgs still couldn’t believe in yet. He just couldn’t trust him. But Sam? He wanted to be able to trust him.

He hadn’t realized it before because he hadn’t had anything to compare it to. Now that he had Sam though, Higgs realized he had been getting tired of daddy. He’d been getting tired of his old man and had begun to feel something more than just feared respect towards him.

The first couple of days, the first week really, Higgs had thought going back to the bunker would be his best option. He needed to be with daddy. It was all he needed. If he left now though? At the very least he would miss Sam. This whole situation Higgs still doubted would last. However, he wanted to take advantage of the time he had with Sam. He would even try and prolong the moments if possible.

Higgs roughly scrubbed his face. The remnants of salt from the tears of last night were washed away and Higgs eventually stepped out. He picked up his hoodie and sniffed it. He’d already pushed off washing it for as long as possible and sleeping in it probably hadn’t been a great idea. He glanced at his reflection and grimaced at his own face.

He really wanted to put the hoodie back on but…

They wouldn’t be around others, not for long. And better to wash it now before Cliff got back. With a reluctant sigh, Higgs bundled up the hoodie after he got dressed and put it with the other clothes to be washed. His hair wasn’t anywhere near long enough to be able to pull over his face. He just fell on tugging at his own bangs and using his hand to help hide some of his features.

He walked out into the kitchen. Sam must have gone back and changed and was now putting a full pack on his shoulders. Higgs hunched down again, one hand still messing with his hair in order to cover himself up.

“Ready?” asked Sam.

Higgs nodded. “Do you have enough for lunch?”

“Yeah, and breakfast.”

Sam tossed a granola bar over, forcing Higgs to momentarily drop his hands as he caught it. He ducked his head even lower because of that. He tried to focus on just eating his breakfast before Sam gave him cover in case a squall of timefall swept through. There wasn’t supposed to be any today, but it was always good to be prepared, especially if they were out all day.

Higgs quickly took it. He pulled it on and flipped up the hood even though it wasn’t necessary. Then he followed Sam out of the home and to the ruins.

They avoided most of the people on the way and successfully snuck out of sight when it came to going into the desolate area. Instead of going up to one of the higher buildings, Sam guided Higgs through a different route.

When they finally stopped in one of them, Sam said, “I think this used to be a store or something. But it’s just a guess.”

Higgs looked around. Anything of value, both material and personal, had long since been taken. It was still interesting to look at though. After walking around for a bit, they sat down and decided to have a snack, choosing to stagger the food rather than have one big meal right at noon. They sat under what looked like a sturdy enough covering though a nearby opening allowed sunlight to easily filter in.

At first, they sat in silence. After a while, Higgs risked a question though. Part of him didn’t want to push. If he pushed too hard, maybe Sam would finally realize he didn’t need him and drop him to the curb. However, Sam seemed to like at least some small conversation. Maybe Sam would like him even more if he initiated it for once. To be honest, Higgs liked to talk, but he hadn’t talked freely in a long time. Daddy had made sure to beat that habit out of him real quick, but maybe Sam wouldn’t mind.

“You said you don’t know why you don’t like to touch people?” Higgs finally asked, soft and curious.

He still partially expected Sam to pull back or maybe get angry. Maybe a small part of Higgs had even asked that question in the hopes Sam would push him away. It would be more familiar. Not preferred, but at least recognizable. Instead, Sam seemed pleased at the question and shook his head. “It’s always been there. At least as long as I can remember it. Dad never bothered me, but with others it always takes a bit to get used to them.”

“Maybe something happened when you were a baby?” suggested Higgs.

“Maybe. Dad doesn’t talk much about that though. Talks about mom, but not exactly what killed her. Just that she was sick. Haven’t asked further because I don’t want to bring up bad memories.”

Higgs nodded in understanding. He messed with his hem, trying to think of something else to ask. However, Sam beat him to it.

“Tell me if this is too much, but why do you hide your face?”

Higgs stayed silent for a moment. He found a thread on the hem of his shirt and started to pull on it.

“Sorry. Too much?”

“No. Just…give me a second,” murmured Higgs.

Though different, Sam had still shared a fear of his. It was something that made interacting with people different and possibly difficult. If Sam could share that, Higgs wanted to share his too. Maybe by showing Sam that he was willing to share, Sam would put up with him for a while longer.

“He could always tell,” whispered Higgs.

Sam didn’t have to ask who Higgs meant. He just silently waited for Higgs to continue.

“Knew if I was being grateful. If I meant it when I apologized. Just had to look at my face and he knew everything. Even stuff that I didn’t know about myself.”

“Like what?”

“Just, sometimes I’d thought I’d done everything he’d asked. I thought I’d been good. Followed the rules. But he could tell if I was bad, even if I’d thought I’d done good.”

“Did you ever think that maybe he was wrong?”

Higgs quickly shook his head. “He couldn’t have been.”

He kept his head down. He wondered if Sam would agree.

“Look at me.”

Higgs shivered at the very idea, scrunching up his eyes and his knuckles turning white.

“Please?”

Higgs took a deep breath. He didn’t want Sam to get upset, so he slowly pushed the hood back down. His knuckles were still clenched white even as he slowly opened his eyes. He took a shuddering breath and looked Sam in his own eyes. There was no barrier, nothing to hide behind or at least obscure part of his face. He could feel his heart speeding up as a sense of panic started to set in. Sam would fully be able to tell. Higgs was wrong. He was bad. Sam would realize that and—

“I can’t tell anything.”

Higgs had to fight the urge to completely hide his face again. He did glance down though. “You don’t mean that.”

“Think of a number then.”

“A number?”

Sam nodded. “You got one.”

“I…yes.”

“Is it one hundred and eighty-five?”

“No.”

“See? I can’t see anything. I definitely can’t tell if you’re bad or good. Your secrets are your own.”

Higgs started to mess with his shirt again though he managed to fight the urge to fully hide his face. Instead of fully accepting what Sam’s argument could imply, Higgs met him halfway and said, “Maybe it’s because we’re the same age. And that you’re a kid.”

“Maybe,” Sam sighed. He looked like he wanted to say more but then just fell on, “Want to walk around some more?”

Higgs nodded. He stood up with Sam and started to grab the hood again even though the sky was still clear.

Before he could put it on though, Sam said, “I get why around others, but we’ve already proven I can’t read your face. Are you ok not doing it around me?”

Sam had a point. If he’d been telling the truth and really couldn’t see what Higgs was at his core, then…

“You have a nice face. You shouldn’t hide it.”

“Ok,” whispered Higgs. For Sam then and the hope that this relationship wouldn’t end, at least not too soon.

Higgs still messed with his hair a bit as an excuse to use his hand as partial cover. However, after a while the anxiety of keeping the hood down started to wane. He wasn’t exactly comfortable yet, but maybe he could learn to be comfortable around Sam.

They moved around the ruins, pausing occasionally to grab a snack from the pack. They kept walking though, all the way up until the ruins were cut in half by the barrier that marked the city’s limits. Some of the broken buildings fell on the other side, but mostly it was just open sky and desolate rock in front of them. Higgs pressed a hand to the barrier, eyes roaming over any small detail he could find. He wondered which direction daddy was in. He wondered which direction Cliff had gone in. It was scary to think just how big the world was and that Higgs had no frame of reference for any of it.

“I’d like to go out there one day,” Sam commented as he stood next to Higgs. “Maybe follow in dad’s footsteps. Or just…try and find other people. See other cities.”

“But you don’t right now?”

“Well I’m a kid,” snorted Sam. “And I would scare the living shit out of my dad.”

It was the first time Higgs had heard Sam curse and he unexpectedly laughed at the way it sounded on his lips. He quieted almost immediately, but upon only seeing a small smile on Sam’s face, Higgs managed to slowly return it.

“Someday though.” Sam turned away from the sparse land and asked, “Ready to start heading home? We can watch something when we get back.”

Higgs nodded in agreement. He let Sam lead the way. The journey took almost as long since they went a slightly different path and Sam made sure to pause so that Higgs could get a good view of everything. As predicted, no timefall fell which was good. The moment they started to get into the heart of the city though, Higgs threw his hood up again. He went from walking beside Sam to hiding behind him. They rushed home, and Higgs let out an audible sigh of relief once they were inside.

As Sam threw some trash away and went to put the pack up, Higgs slowly took the timefall cover off. It was the motion of uncovering his face that was the hardest part. If anyone else was with them, Higgs probably wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. Thankfully it was just Sam though. Higgs’ anxiety rose—

But it quickly fell once the hood was completely off and he had a moment to breath.

Higgs went into the kitchen but wavered at just getting himself something to drink. Cliff had always prepared meals, and now that it was just the two of them, Sam had been the one to get anything from the cabinets, even if he sometimes asked if Higgs was hungry or thirsty first. Was it ok to—

“You ok?” asked Sam.

Higgs jumped a little.

“Sorry. I’ve been told I can be quiet.”

“It’s ok. I was just…is it alright…”

“You’ve been here—” Sam stopped, remembering that not everything that was obvious to himself or his dad was obvious to Higgs. He rephrased it to, “As long as you’re living here, I’d say it’s your home too. Feel free to grab anything at any time.”

“Thanks,” Higgs replied. Finally, he went over and grabbed himself something to drink.

The day managed to end on a good note and without anything major happening either. Higgs certainly didn’t collapse in bed like he had the night before. And better yet? Sam asked if he wanted him to stay again.

Though Higgs could feel his face brightening up at the idea, he quickly squelched it as he murmured, “You d-don’t have to.”

“Why? Because you’re not crying? Because today was pretty much perfect?”

A perfect day? Higgs didn’t know if he’d ever had one of those. But maybe…maybe Sam was right. He liked to think of the day as perfect. Still, he whispered, “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not. But I can still sleep in dad’s room if you’d rather be alone.”

“I…”

“It’s ok to want something Higgs.”

It took a moment, but Higgs managed to build up the courage to answer. “I don’t…I don’t want to be alone then.”

Sam softly smiled. He’d figured as much going by how Higgs had reacted to the proximity and hadn’t wanted to get out of bed right away that morning. “Ok. Let’s get ready for bed.”

Since this time was more planned, they changed it up a little. Higgs’ back was against the wall though Sam’s was still on the edge. Now they both had individual blankets and sheets wrapped around them. There was also a pillow tucked right between them that kept them comfortably apart and made it even less likely that Higgs would accidently touch Sam in his sleep.

Higgs glanced around for a bit before finally feeling comfortable enough to look Sam in the face.

“Good?” asked Sam.

Higgs nodded.

“I wonder if this is what a sleepover is supposed to be like.”

“A sleepover?”

“I read about it once. Dad said it was when kids would sleep over at the other’s home. Sometimes they’d share beds, make forts, stuff like that.”

“So I guess this is a sleepover,” murmured Higgs in reference to him living there, not just their current circumstances. “Any idea when they’re supposed to end?”

“Don’t know. Do you want this to end?”

If anyone else were here, especially Cliff, Higgs would have said yes. He wanted to go back to the bunker. He wanted daddy. It was all he had really known, so of course it was the only thing he needed. But with Sam here…

Higgs didn’t know how to describe it. It was like there was another feeling in him, something that had been hidden for so long and beaten down. But not completely torn away.

“I don’t want it to end. Least not this part,” Higgs admitted.

Sam smiled. “Good. I like having a friend my own age.”

“A friend,” murmured Higgs. He liked how that sounded. “Me too,” he whispered.

And with that, Higgs fell asleep next to his first friend.

The next day seemed to go even better as Higgs felt more comfortable around Sam. Considering Cliff would soon be returning, he was also determined to take advantage of the time he had with him. However, the day afterwards Sam proposed something that Higgs was less thrilled about, though he didn’t actively argue for fear that Sam might grow upset.

“Do you mind if we watch the twins tonight?”

Higgs just looked away.

“I’ve already told them you’ve been using my room, so they would know not to run in there,” Sam hopefully said. “Their parents are running some experiments on chiral clouds and since there’s supposed to be a squall tonight, they’ll be away from home.”

“Ok,” whispered Higgs.

“If you really don’t want them to come over, you could stay here so there’s no risk to them invading your space. I could go sleep over at their home—”

“No!”

Sam raised an eyebrow.

“I-I mean…” Higgs trailed off with an embarrassed look down. He’d liked not being alone for the past two nights. And if Sam had said he’d wanted to sleep alone, Higgs could handle that. But being completely alone in this home with no one? He carefully swallowed. “I’m ok with them coming over. I guess.”

“If you’re sure. We can hole up in one of the rooms so I can make sure they’re not bothering you. Or just stay in the living room until bedtime if you’d rather stay in the bedroom.”

“Thanks,” whispered Higgs.

“No problem.”

And with that, the twins were invited over. Higgs tried to stay unbothered by it, simultaneously not wanting to be around the prying eyes of the twins but also not wanting to be completely alone. Ultimately, he at least managed to have dinner with Sam before the twins’ parents dropped them off. At that point, Higgs rushed off to the bedroom before any eyes could meet him. He stayed there, nose stuck in his journal for a while. However, looking back at the old entries only darkened his mood.

It wasn’t like he could completely disprove what had happened. He still felt like he had deserved it. But even if he’d deserved daddy’s love, he hadn’t…being here with Sam was different. A good kind of different. And sitting here looking at past events just left him more confused.

He tried to write instead. He managed to get a few short entries down, recording what he’d recently done with Sam and what it felt like to not actively hide his face around someone. But when he stopped, there wasn’t anything else to do. There were books in the room, but Higgs didn’t feel like reading.

Sam’s words about him talking to the twins echoed in Higgs’ head. They knew not to be too pushy or nosy this time. They were just curious. And Higgs could relate to that curiosity, even if he wasn’t used to expressing his own anymore.

They were nosy…

But they were also kids. And there were only so many days until Cliff came back and Higgs would feel trapped again.

After several more minutes of sitting alone in the room, Higgs finally grabbed his hoodie and flipped it up again. He would be able to take it off when the twins’ parents picked them up tomorrow morning. For now, he would keep it on again. He slowly approached the living room but acted like he was going to just get a glass of water. The twins didn’t notice him at first as the three were all splayed out on the ground around something. However, when he poured the water, they all looked up.

“Hi Sam’s friend,” Målingen immediately said.

Though Higgs wasn’t sure how he felt about them yet, he still really liked how that word sounded. He quickly drank from his glass before turning around and murmuring, “Hi.”

“How’s the larynx?”

“T-the what?”

“She’s asking about your throat,” Lockne said as she shoved her sister. She whispered in a much too loud voice, “Which Sam said not to talk about!”

Sam face palmed from behind them.

“Oh, well how’s the throat?”

Higgs tried to whisper, “It’s fine,” but was drowned out by Lockne crying, “The word is not the problem!”

Sam shot Higgs an apologetic look. He seemed ready to try and reign the kids in so Higgs would have a chance to escape. Målingen and Lockne were still playfully arguing with each other. However, before any of them could say anything directed his way, Higgs spotted what they were messing with on the floor. He frowned slightly and focused in on it. His eyes automatically looked around, again just in case, but they were the only ones there. And Sam seemed to like his curiosity, his asking questions, so…

“How are they doing that?”

The twins stopped. Lockne poked the top one. It bobbed but still stayed floating right there. “They’re magnets.”

“Mag nits?”

“Magnets!” Målingen proudly said. “One word!”

“They’re a simple model of how electromagnetic fields work,” Lockne explained. “But our understanding may change. Because the chiral matter in the air can change the usual affects.”

“The wh-how old are they?” asked Higgs with a lost look Sam’s way.

Sam just proudly stared down at them. The twins said at the same time, “Six. Almost seven.”

“Uh…huh.”

“Trust me,” Sam said with a gentle laugh, “they’ve outpaced just about everyone except their parents in Middle Knot.”

“Want to come look?” asked Lockne.

Higgs bit his bottom lip and pulled his hood a little lower. Did he dare?

“We can teach you,” Målingen added.

“Teach me, huh?” Daddy had taught him to speak, to write. He’d taught him out to take a punch. Higgs knew this was vastly different though. Because of that, his curiosity took hold. He looked around once more, then slowly approached. “You said it has to do with some type of field?”

“Basically,” Målingen said. Her sister grabbed a pillow and pulled it over so Higgs could sit down between them and across from Sam.

Higgs did so and then listened to the little speech they automatically jumped into. Higgs wasn’t comfortable talking too much around them, but thankfully they filled up the silence and Sam seemed just as happy to take a backburner to talking. They discussed things that Higgs hadn’t known existed, couldn’t have even imagined. They were chatty, but besides that first question, they didn’t push with him any farther which was appreciated. They simply seemed determined to explain what they called scientific phenomena as they tried to show active examples of what they were talking about or drew on a piece of paper if they didn’t have the materials necessary right in front of them.

It was impossible not to grow a little lost. However, every time Higgs’ head seemed to spin, he just had to look across to Sam who would give him a gentle, comforting smile. At one point, Sam even softly said, “Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who’s lost,” as the twins talked over him.

The words made Higgs feel more comfortable and not so alone. He found after a while, he didn’t even mind the twins as much now that they were focusing on their own thing and not Higgs himself.

He spent the rest of the late afternoon with them, sitting on the floor and listening to the twins babble on. Eventually though, Sam got up and said, “I think it’s about time for bed.”

“But we didn’t even get to the idea of electromagnetic radiation within quantum theory,” tried Målingen.

“I think I understood two words there,” Higgs murmured.

The twins giggled as Sam rolled his eyes. “Another time. We’ve already stayed up pretty late, and I don’t want to get in trouble with your parents.”

“Please Sam?” asked Lockne.

The twins batted their eyes at him in unison.

Sam groaned. “I will go get dad’s bed ready for you. But when I come back, it is bedtime.”

“Fine,” they said together as Sam pushed himself up and went to the back.

That left Higgs alone with them. He wrung his hands, a bit nervous even though he knew Sam wouldn’t be gone long. He looked up though as Lockne said, “I like having a new kid around.”

“There are other teens here,” added Målingen, “but they’re older and have jobs and stuff.”

Lockne nodded in agreement. “Sam is the only one that has time to hang out with us.”

“And I think the others are a bit jealous.”

“Because of our cool brains.”

“We have the best brains.”

The twins giggled and Higgs couldn’t help but feel his lips quirk up a bit. Now that he’d sat down with them, he decided he didn’t hate them. He liked Sam more, but the twins were ok, and it was kind of fun learning from them. Because they were kids, it also meant Higgs could ask them a question that had grown in his mind, especially every time they had mentioned their parents.

“Do…” Higgs trailed off. The twins immediately stopped giggling though and stared at him with rapt attention. He ducked his head a little lower to avoid eye contact but managed to finish. “Do your parents love you?”

“Of course,” they said together. “They’re awesome.”

“They’ve also helped teach Sam,” said Lockne.

“You could join in on the classes too,” Målingen suggested.

Higgs was curious about that idea, but for now he focused on his main question. “How…how do your parents love you?”

“Hugs and kisses obviously,” Målingen said.

“And that’s it?”

“Yes. What else is there?” asked Lockne.

“Like…hitting you for doing something wrong?” whispered Higgs.

They both quickly shook their heads. “We’re angels.”

“Though…” Lockne trailed off.

“We do sometimes get into trouble,” Målingen finished.

“But our parents just talk to us.”

“They explain and we learn. And then we usually get hugs and kisses again.”

“And some mischievousness is good.”

“Otherwise how would you learn!”

“So really just like that?” Higgs asked. A part of him wanted to believe them. Another part of him thought for sure they were leaving something out.

However, they simply nodded in unison again. At that time, Sam walked back in and said, “Alright, time for bed. Go brush your teeth and then in.”

The twins jumped up and rushed to the restroom. Higgs followed at a much slower distance and watched as Sam corralled them into his dad’s bedroom. They seemed excited about the larger bed, jumping on it a few times before Sam managed to trap them underneath the covers and tuck them in tight. He gave them little air kisses right above their foreheads and the twins snuggled in close as Sam left and closed the door behind them.

He let out a tired but satisfied huff. “I’m going to take a shower first, but ready for bed?”

Higgs nodded.

“Alright. I’ll see you in a second.”

A few minutes passed and by the time Sam was out and done, Higgs had changed into sleep wear. He was already on the bed, back against the wall just like the other times. He hugged the pillow in front of him as Sam turned off the lights, got in, and laid down.

“Hey Sam?” whispered Higgs. Though just a couple of days, he felt a little more comfortable asking questions now.

Sam shifted in the bed and faced him. “Yeah?”

“The twins said their parents don’t hit them. Is that true?”

Sam’s voice seemed to grow a little quieter and a little kinder. “Yeah, it’s true.”

“But they said their parents love them.”

“They really love them. They love them with their whole heart.”

Higgs was quiet. Maybe…maybe there were different ways to express love. That might explain why his old man had done it differently. Or maybe…maybe the twins and Sam didn’t get hit because they were really good kids. They didn’t deserve to be hit, but Higgs knew he did. No matter how nice their parents were, or Cliff was to Sam, Higgs was sure they would still see how wrong he was.

Yes, that was it. Higgs still deserved all that. He probably didn’t even deserve to be friends with a good kid like Sam. But seeing as Sam somehow couldn’t see how wrong he was and wanted to be friends with him, then Higgs would take advantage of it for as long as possible.

“Thanks for being my friend Sam,” whispered Higgs.

“Don’t have to thank me,” mumbled Sam with a sleepy yawn. “I like being your friend.”

“I like it too,” Higgs whispered before they both curled in close without touching and fell asleep.

In the morning, the twins’ parents picked them up as promised and Higgs had one more day where he didn’t have to wear his hoodie until Cliff came. He could arrive that night or early tomorrow morning depending on how the trip had gone. Higgs didn’t actively wish the man would never return. Sam cared about him too much and Higgs didn’t want Sam to hurt. But he wished the man could have stayed away a little longer. Or maybe Higgs would get lucky and Cliff would go on another long trip.

He hoped that might happen. Anything so that he could have more moments with Sam and not feel like he had to look over his shoulder.


	8. A Strand to Parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you as always for kudos and comments! Also, school is done for now so I'll hopefully be able to update more, though the size of the chapters does mean it takes time. I doubt I'll be able to finish it all during the break but I'll definitely try to get as much done before school starts again. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also for those interested I like making playlists for stories I work on so here you go too if you want to give it a listen: https://8tracks.com/changethecircumstances/what-s-in-your-head

Cliff was on his way to the destination. He took shelter underneath a rocky overhang and decided it was best to get a few moments of shuteye before he finished the first half of his journey. He had enough provisions for the next day and would then stock up again for the journey back, along with anything that needed to be sent back. Might as well take advantage of the delivery after all.

Using the current packages, Cliff propped himself up slightly. He pulled his gun across his lap and his eyes slowly shut. Just for a few minutes…

He was on the Beach.

Cliff let out a tired sigh. He supposed it was time. It wasn’t like Amelie had an exact schedule at which she showed up. However, every time Cliff thought it had been just a little too long, she would show her face again. It seemed that time was now.

He pushed himself up from where he’d been sitting in the sand. None of his materials were with him, and the hand that had been holding the gun closed on nothing. He walked over to her and crossed his arms.

“You know I’m only planning on sleeping for a short time.”

“And as I’ve mentioned before, time doesn’t pass here. You’ll be fine.”

Cliff huffed. “And as I’ve said,” he started in a somewhat sarcastic voice, “just because I can accept this is real doesn’t mean it makes any more sense to me.”

“Fair enough.”

They stood at the waves, the water lapping at their shoes. Cliff looked over the horizon, eyes going over some beached whales. The number of them had seemed to steadily increase over the years. Cliff wondered what the significance of that was. He looked around, seeing if anything else had changed, but it had all stayed relatively consistent. Even Amelie didn’t look any older, though she’d mentioned that had something to do with how the passage of time didn’t occur the same on the Beach. Cliff waited a little longer, but when Amelie didn’t immediately speak, he did. “What is it this time?”

“What is it this time?” she repeated.

Cliff resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “We’ve been doing this for pretty much a decade. At least one meeting per two years if not more. There’s always something you want to impart on me in these discussions. What is it now?”

When she didn’t respond right away, Cliff looked over. Her look of contemplative confusion surprised him.

“You’ve always had something to say,” Cliff added.

“I have,” she agreed. “But that is only because I wanted to take advantage of these moments and make sure you had what you needed to give Sam the best life he could have.”

Cliff’s instinct was to snap at her words. It made it sound like he couldn’t have done that on his own-and he very much had done it on his own! However, he focused on putting the pieces together and tried to conjure up some of the terminology Amelie had used over the years. Even in his first meeting with her, back when he’d thought her a conjuration of his mind, he had known pointlessly arguing would get him no closer to the truth. He slowly breathed in his nose, then out his mouth. “You said there was a strand that was connecting us. From the very beginning.”

“It still connects us.”

“That’s how I’m able to access this Beach.”

Amelie nodded. Though she was clearly still confused in her own right, she seemed pleased that Cliff had followed that much.

He added, “I thought you were the one that allowed me here. This is your Beach still. Isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“And we’ve never both been on mine.”

“No, it would feel different for you and for me. We’ve always been on mine.”

Following that logic then… “So you’ve always brought me here, since the beginning.”

“That is where you are wrong. At least in our first meeting, you were the one that followed the strand. You found me out of the horrors you’d been forced to commit in order to save your son. You found me because you couldn’t get at Bridget for what she’d done, so you discovered the next best thing.”

“You say that like I made a conscious decision to find you. I barely knew of you back then, had never even met you. And you were clearly looking for Sam when we met. You thought he might be dead, wound up on the Beach. So it wasn’t just me who was searching.”

Amelie slowly nodded in agreement. “A strand goes both ways. We found each other, made the connection in the middle. But neither of us began this strand, even though it does originate from the Beach and these circumstances.”

“Are you say something else began all of this?”

“Something else? No, it still originates with us. But I believe there is more to our connection than either of us are consciously aware of yet.” Amelie was silent for a moment before she looked to Cliff again. He thought she might delve further into the mystery of their connection. Instead, she murmured, “I know I have no right to ask this, but how is Sam?”

“Can’t you tell?”

“I’m more connected to you than to him. And I’d rather hear it from you.”

Cliff carefully looked her over, trying to decide if she deserved an answer. He didn’t get a chance to decide one way or another before he heard it.

“Dad!”

By this point, Cliff had accepted the Beach was real, at least to a certain extent. Did that mean Amelie was completely her own person with her own agency? Did that make the Beach an actual place with physical weight, or was it still technically in Cliff’s head? He didn’t know. But he knew it was real enough and because of the connotations associated with the Beach, hearing Sam’s voice there shot fear through his heart.

He reacted quickly, running to meet Sam and taking him away from Amelie and the water. He looked him over to make sure he was ok. Then he tried to understand exactly how Sam had found him. After listening to him for a bit and promising he would be home soon, he took Sam’s hand and guided him away from the Beach. He wasn’t sure how it worked, but Cliff could feel in his heart when Sam was safe and at home again. His hand closed on nothing.

Since he wasn’t gone from the Beach yet, he quickly turned and went back to Amelie. He had even more questions now. His words were angry, accusatory as the water splashed at his ankles again. “Did you bring him here?”

“No.”

“And I should believe you?”

“The strand that tugged him here was for you, not me. He simply missed his dad,” murmured Amelie. The words seemed to take her away for a second. A frown set into her face.

Cliff looked around, but Sam was definitely gone now. He’d felt a certain amount of truth from Amelie’s words, and Sam had stated as much. He needed advice and missed him. And connections between parents and children were some of the strongest out there. He glanced once more at Amelie, but upon seeing nothing malicious in her face, he let out a long sigh. Instead, he tried to take advantage of this long conversation and instead tugged at the curiosity that had suddenly appeared with her last words.

“Everyone knows of your mother,” Cliff slowly said. “But what of your own father?”

Amelie smiled, though somehow that seemed sadder than the frown. “It’s likely not what you think, but I did have a father. I wonder what he’d think of me now. Of us.”

“Us?” Who else could Amelie be including in this?

She nodded. “He was proud of so much. Our grades. Our ambitions. He was there, to see our success. Before the USA became the UCA. Mother loved us too. We did what every parent wants. We went farther, accomplished more than her or father ever could.”

“Before-but you can’t be that old,” Cliff murmured. That would put her closer to his own age. Possibly even a little older. Yet somehow she was supposed to be Bridget Strand’s daughter? He quickly added, “And it was only ever reported of your mother having one daughter.”

“I never said Bridget.”

Cliff tried to wrap his head around that. However, he didn’t get a chance. Amelie didn’t explain herself. She just continued talking as if Cliff hadn’t made any comments and her last words hadn’t occurred. “What would he say if he knew what his DNA would cause?” She slightly turned to Cliff, and at that moment he could see tears of blood falling down her face. “Can you love something that defies existence?”

And with that, Cliff woke with a start. He took a deep, shaky breath. He checked around first with his eyes and ears, but he was still alone. He eased his grip on the gun and then wiped at the beads of sweat that had formed across his forehead.

That had to be the most confusing conversation by far. Was Amelie not Bridget’s daughter? She’d been cryptic about it before, but this was something completely new. And Sam? Had his love and the act of missing his dad really been strong enough to drag him to Amelie’s beach? Wasn’t Amelie supposed to be able to allow entry? Did that mean the connection between himself and his son had been stronger? Or had Amelie felt it and allowed it to happen? And then what was this bullshit about her not initiating the conversations? How could it be that their strand was between them, had been formed by them, was still connected to the Beach, but somehow didn’t come from either of them?

It was like going in circles and Cliff suspected that if he’d been honest to the twins’ parents about the reason for all his coy questions, even their heads would spin now. There were no hard facts or bits of scientific data that he could display after all. Just Amelie’s confusing, roundabout way of talking. Those red tears. And then her face at the end.

Cliff knew Amelie was older despite staying the same age, perhaps even older than he’d suspected as perhaps the president wasn’t her true mother. But either way, she’d looked young and she’d looked so god damn sad and lost. That alone had made Cliff partially sympathetic to her, but how could he help someone that never responded to a question with a clear-cut answer?

He wondered if any of these questions would be answered when he returned to Amelie’s Beach. Or would she ignore the strangeness of this past encounter? Cliff couldn’t say for sure.

All he could do now was push himself up and make sure the packages were secure. He glanced outside and at least Amelie had been right about that. Despite how their conversation had felt like it had taken nearly an hour, only ten minutes at most had passed. With another tired sigh, Cliff walked away from the rocky overhang and towards the end of the first half of his journey.

When he got to the place, Cliff stayed outside and had to wait. Though not extremely contagious, the disease they were dealing with was deadly enough that it was better to be safe rather than sorry. Cliff also had to wait to see if one of the sickest ones would become a corpse. If that was the case, Cliff couldn’t head back home and use the incinerator near Middle Knot. It would take too long. His trip would have to be extended instead as he would travel south to the nearest one and only then be able to head back home.

Thankfully, luck seemed to be on his side. After waiting for nearly a whole day, the person made it through. Cliff stocked up on provisions and loaded smaller, more durable packages onto his person to be taken back to Middle Knot. It would make the journey much easier as he would be able to go through water with these, and if he came into conflict with mules, it wouldn’t be such a death sentence to the order.

With that taken care of, he readjusted everything to make it easier to carry and then headed back.

The journey back was a little faster and not as interesting. Amelie didn’t appear during his brief moments of rest and Sam never found him again. Cliff hoped that meant he and Higgs had patched up what had happened. Cliff knew it would take longer for Higgs to fully trust him, but he really wanted a friendship between Sam and Higgs to work. Perhaps one had already bloomed while Cliff was away.

He continued on foot for the remainder of the time, carefully maneuvering down rocky mountainsides and across ravines. By the time he was approaching Middle Knot, it was dark. His hood was up because of timefall. Normally he would have tried to wait out the squall, but considering he was so close Cliff pushed ahead.

He was still careful though and moved slowly in case BTs began to form. Even in the dark, an upside down rainbow would show if they did, but Cliff luckily didn’t have to deal with that. Their appearances were very consistent after all and they’d never appeared so close to the city. Soon he was walking across the barrier and into Middle Knot. He went to the distribution center to drop everything off and then headed home. By the time he got there, the timefall had stopped. Cliff took off his covering and shook off the regular water that had formed there before going in.

Sometimes Sam would stay up late if he knew Cliff was supposed to return on a specific day. However, the lights were off and the living room empty. He headed to his bedroom, but that was empty too. Cliff made sure to be extra quiet as he peaked into Sam’s room.

Higgs and Sam were curled up, both fast asleep. It was the first time in a while that Cliff could see Higgs’ face since the boy so often hid or obscured it from view. He looked calm in his sleep. He looked like a kid. It was difficult to see, but the bruises seemed completely gone, and he’d definitely gotten to a healthy weight since Cliff’s journey. Higgs had completely healed physically, now to hopefully help him emotionally and mentally. Cliff decided to let them sleep. He would take a shower in the morning too since he knew at least Sam was a light sleeper and didn’t want either to startle awake.

Cliff collapsed in his bed and promptly passed out.

There was no Beach. No dream even. Just a peaceful, full night’s rest—

“Dad!”

Cliff let out a pained noise as an object equal to the weight of a twelve year old crashed into his stomach. He opened an eye before warmly patting Sam’s head. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?” accused Sam. He readjusted himself so he was sitting next to his dad rather than on top of him.

“You looked too peaceful. No need to ruin that.” Cliff pushed himself up and looked behind his boy. He saw Higgs hiding in the hall. Since they were both right there, Cliff decided to breach a subject he’d been thinking about before he left. “Higgs, do you mind coming here for a second?”

The boy had his hood down again and carefully walked over. He made it so he was partially behind Sam. He wrung his hands, waiting to see what Cliff would say.

“Now, I’ve been thinking about this and Sam, as much as I’ve loved the excuse to have you sleeping next to me nearly every night, you are a growing boy. You both are. And I know you’ll value some privacy. That being said, we don’t have the room for you to have separate bedrooms, but if it’s alright with you both, I’ll get us another twin bed and that room will be both of yours from now on. Is that alright?”

“So…it wouldn’t be my bedroom. It would be Higgs’ and mine?” Sam said.

“Yes.”

Sam brightened. He turned to Higgs. “Are you ok with that?”

“I-it’s your bedroom—”

“Nope. Only saying yes if this is what you want too.”

Higgs was silent for a moment. He cautiously looked Cliff’s way before leaning in and whispering to Sam. Then he leaned back and ducked his head lower again.

Sam turned to his dad with a smile. “It’s a yes.”

“Perfect. Before I get to looking for that second bed then, how about breakfast first and you tell me about everything you got up to. Hmm?”

“Yes please,” Sam said. He jumped off the bed. “Want us to prep things so you can take a shower?”

“Hmm, smell that bad do I?” Cliff joked.

“It’s just a suggestion,” Sam said with a teasing glance away.

“Well, I’ll take it. You boys figure out what you want and then we’ll make it together.”

Sam grabbed Higgs’ sleeve and pulled him along as Cliff got up and stretched. Though certainly in better shape than the average person his age, a journey like that took more of a tole than it had before. He moved to make sure all the kinks were out before heading to the shower and quickly getting in.

By the time he got to the kitchen, the boys had pulled everything out. Higgs had been softly talking to Sam, but quickly quieted upon Cliff entering.

Cliff resisted the urge to show too much, not wanting Higgs to take a sad sigh to mean something else. He hated how much he scared Higgs. For now, he simply tried to coax the boy into talking, or at least for Sam to talk for him.

“I like what you did with the hoodie. I’m assuming it was you?”

Higgs quieted even more. It was like he was expecting Cliff to get angry. Sam spoke for him in this instance and said, “He did. Looks cool. Right?”

“It does,” Cliff kindly agreed. Higgs seemed shocked by the response. He messed with the hem of his shirt. “There certainly aren’t the options I had when growing up, but next time you need new clothes, I’ll take you with me. How does that sound?”

“To pick my clothes…myself?” Higgs spoke softly, but Cliff could tell his throat had completely healed and it no longer caused him any pain. That was good.

“Yes. All your own.”

“Thank you,” whispered Higgs.

“So, what else did you two do while I was away?”

Sam spoke freely, talking about some of the things they had watched, asking some questions he’d had about the material. He mentioned the twins coming over and at that, Cliff said, “We should probably start up the lessons again with their parents. Higgs, would you like to join him?”

Higgs’ voice dropped as he spoke, growing softer and softer with each word. “Lessons like…what we did with the twins? Or the other kind?”

The way he said the words clearly said Higgs knew of a different connotation. Cliff quickly explained. “What you did with the twins. Lessons to help your understanding of the world grow. Only this time from their parents. Types of mechanical engineering, math, computer science is all really more their field, but they’ve taught Sam and their twins a great deal about everything else.”

“Why?” Higgs murmured.

“It’s good to be well rounded,” Sam said. “And there’s practical applications too. And if we know the information, then we can pass it down to the next person. So it’s never lost. Right dad?”

“Exactly,” Cliff smiled. “But you don’t have to go if you don’t want to Higgs. It’s up to you.”

Higgs remained silent. He didn’t look like he believed him, not so much about the lessons but that he had a choice. Then Sam whispered in Higgs’ ear and the boy seemed to ease a little. Higgs carefully nodded, even as he tensed, just in case. “I would like to go too.”

“Good. I’ll talk to their parents and see if we can get back into the usual pattern. Anything else happen with you boys?”

Sam talked a bit more. Cliff was sure Sam didn’t mention everything that they’d gotten up to. That was fine. It was natural for kids their age to start holding secrets. And if it meant Sam wouldn’t break Higgs’ trust, Cliff was ok being in the dark. Besides, if anything too serious occurred, he trusted Sam to know if something should or shouldn’t be brought up with him.

However, there was a moment Sam suddenly stopped talking, like he had suddenly remembered something he’d planned to say but had previously forgot. As Cliff put breakfast in the oven, Sam excitedly said, “Oh, and we made pizza!”

Higgs seemed to grow smaller at the words.

“Did you now?” asked Cliff.

Sam nodded. “Higgs ate almost all of it. It’s his favorite.”

“Favorite huh?” Cliff focused in on Higgs. “Well, at least I won’t have to worry about what we’ll eat for your birthday.”

“For m-my birthday?” Higgs’ voice began to shake.

Cliff tried to sound even softer and kinder as he murmured, “Yes. I don’t know what you did for birthdays, but in this house, we celebrate them. And if you want pizza for your birthday food, then that is what it will be.”

“Wait you…celebrate birthdays?”

“Yes. And we’ll celebrate yours when you turn fourteen.”

Higgs ducked his head a little lower. Then his shoulders shook a little and before Cliff could do anything, he began to openly cry.

“Higgs, I—”

“Dad!” Sam cried. He jumped over and started to push him out of the kitchen.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“I got this,” whispered Sam. “Just give us a moment?”

Cliff gave his son a kind smile. Though he felt terrible for making Higgs cry, even if he didn’t fully understand why it had happened, he felt incredibly proud of Sam for taking control of the situation.

“Alright,” murmured Cliff. “Come grab me if you need me.”

Sam nodded and quickly rushed back to Higgs’ side. Cliff could have stayed right around the corner, but if he needed to know anything, he again trusted Sam to tell him. For now, he wanted to make sure Higgs felt like he could open up. Cliff went back to his room and made sure to close the door a little loudly, just so Higgs knew that he and Sam were alone.

At that moment, Higgs tried to wipe at his face. However, the tears kept coming so all he did was smear them around rather than stop them. Sam sat down next to him and gently moved his hand up and down Higgs’ arm in a comforting manner.

“I’m sorry if dad said something that upset you. He didn’t mean it,” Sam softly said.

“I-it’s n-not that,” Higgs got out. He tried to wipe his face clean again, but it didn’t work. Sam grabbed a spare dish towel and handed it over. As Higgs soaked up the tears, he whispered, “Did he mean that? Celebrating a birthday?”

Sam nodded. “We celebrate mine every year. It was fun when I was younger, been more fun recently though.”

“Why is that?”

“I’ve had the twins to hang out with too. Not that you would have to have them over for your birthday. It’s about what you want,” Sam replied as he carefully went back to rubbing Higgs’ arm. “We can hang out with them. We can eat all the pizza you want. I can tell dad to screw off and we can both hide out in mine-I mean our room instead. It’s what you want.”

“I get that,” Higgs whispered. He wiped his face once more and then let out a slow, shuttering sigh. “I just…no one’s ever wanted to celebrate anything involving me. I…I was always told the day I was born was a curse. Why…why would Cliff want to celebrate that?”

“Maybe he doesn’t think you’re a curse. I don’t think you’re curse,” smiled Sam. “You’re my friend.”

Higgs sniffed a little. “You’re my friend too.”

Sam was glad Higgs was comfortable saying those words now. The more he said them, Sam was sure the more Higgs would really believe how strong they were too and that their friendship wouldn’t break so easily. Sam asked, “You want a hug?”

“You sure?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t feel comfortable enough.”

Higgs hesitated—

Then he quickly nodded. Sam wrapped his arms around him. Higgs pretty much melted against him, and when Sam murmured, “You can hug me back you know,” Higgs quickly did. They stayed like that for a moment, right up until Sam lightly tapped Higgs’ shoulder.

“Ok, getting a bit much—”

Higgs was letting go before Sam even finished that sentence. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s ok. What…what if we do like a code or something though.”

“A code?”

Sam nodded. “I know it can be weird to know when I’m comfortable or not to be physical in any way. It took the twins a while to get it. But…what about this? If I tap your shoulder once, it means it’s your turn.”

“My turn? For what?”

“A hug? Hold my hand? Grab my arm? Whatever you need. And If I tap your shoulder twice afterwards, then that means I need a break.”

“You’d really be ok with that?”

Sam nodded. “And dad has talked to me about getting better at small gestures so this would be helping both of us. And it would just be for more physical things. You can tug on my sleeve or tap me on my shoulder if you need too. I won’t break.”

“If you’re ok with it…then I think it’s a good idea.”

“I’m glad.” Sam tapped Higgs once on the shoulder. When Higgs still looked a little uncertain, Sam just raised an eyebrow. Higgs slowly took Sam’s hand and just held it. It made Sam wish he was more comfortable to let Higgs continue for as long as he needed to. He was clearly starved of any positive contact. However, after a moment Sam started to raise his hand. He hadn’t even fully tapped on Higgs’ shoulder before he untangled their fingers and folded his hands in his lap. Sam smiled. “Yeah, I think that’ll work.”

Higgs returned the smile. “Thanks Sam.”

“You’re welcome. Is it ok to get my dad now?”

“I-I-yeah.” Higgs bowed his head, hiding his face again. “You sure he won’t be mad?”

“Promise.” When Higgs still looked unsure, Sam added, “I’ll protect you. Remember?”

Higgs gave a small smile, looking a bit more at ease. Sam rushed back to grab his dad.

Cliff looked up when his son entered. “Is he alright?”

Sam nodded. “It’s all good now. And don’t worry, we are definitely throwing him a birthday party.”

“Sounds like a plan. And you did good taking hold of that situation,” Cliff added, giving his son a quick kiss on the top of his head. “I’ll trust you to know when I should take leave from now on.”

“But you shouldn’t leave the room every time Higgs gets uncomfortable or upset. Right? Otherwise that could just push the idea that he should avoid you. Like with me and touching?”

“Exactly. We just have to take it slow,” Cliff replied. “Let’s go have breakfast now. Hmm?”

Cliff and Sam joined Higgs in the kitchen again. From then on, Cliff not only had a son but a ward under his protection too.

Higgs was still very quiet around him. He seemed to double check with Sam before ever voicing an opinion, or even whispered for Sam to voice it for him. But he was talking and finally giving more than grunts and shrugs. It was small, but Cliff still counted it as a victory and tried to encourage what he could.

Surprisingly, Cliff found that the lessons that started up again with the twins’ parents seemed to be the way to open Higgs up. He seemed a bit more willing to talk to them rather than Cliff. It might have been due to the dynamic being different. It was two parents rather than a single father and they weren’t the ones actually living with him. Apparently, the twins were helping Higgs to open up too, though Cliff only heard about it from Sam or their parents. The moment Cliff walked into the room, Higgs immediately quieted and he stayed pretty factual whenever Cliff asked questions.

Cliff really hated that, but at least he was slowly growing used to giving his own opinion. And with Sam, he’d started talking more and more up to the point that apparently Sam could sometimes sit back and just listen rather than the other way around.

It was progress, and certainly the friendship with Sam had made things move faster than Cliff could have hoped for. However, Higgs still wasn’t quite willing to open up to him. They would have to push again. Cliff didn’t want it to get so far that Higgs was sobbing again and then closing himself off tenfold. But if Cliff stayed too careful, Higgs might hit a brick wall with his own personal healing.

It was a narrow road Cliff was trying to walk down, and he didn’t have a clue where the walls were placed on either side. And this sadly wasn’t something Sam would be able to do on his own. If Cliff was ever to help Higgs see what his father figure had really been to him so that he could properly heal from the trauma, then Cliff would have to form a real relationship with Higgs.

As to what could be strong enough to open Higgs up but also not risk shutting him further off, Cliff tried to figure it out. He thought about it before falling asleep, when he was taking an order and could do nothing but think and walk. He asked advice from the twins’ parents, though understandably neither had been in a situation like his either.

It turned out what Cliff and Higgs needed wasn’t a conversation or event Cliff had to create or broach though. It was a freak incident that occurred all on its own.


	9. A Strand to Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this was a big one! Thanks as always for all the comments and kudos. Hope you enjoy <3

After a few days, there was another bed in the room and it really became Sam’s and Higgs’. Sam had wondered if the novelty of sharing what had once been his space would wane after a time. But he didn’t mind it with Higgs. Part of it was that it was hard to be irritated with someone who just didn’t understand what a normal interaction should be. Or that he so clearly wanted to be around others, to feel physical affection, but he was almost always too afraid to outright seek it.

Except for their room. It was their safe space. Higgs felt comfortable showing his face, asking his questions, and talking more and more like a normal kid. When they started up their lessons with the twins, he started to get a bit more comfortable with them though his and Sam’s room was still the real safe haven. Hopefully he would feel safe in other places, but for now Sam was grateful for being the first person Higgs felt comfortable around.

Since they had two beds now, they usually fell asleep facing each other, talking before they fell asleep. On occasion, Sam still jumped in when Higgs was especially sad or just clearly wanted to be hugged. Besides the tapping thing, they also started up doing regular hugs where Sam would grab a blanket and wrap it around Higgs with his arms. Sam knew that he needed to work up to being a bit more physical, and sometimes he managed to do it without the blanket. He counted it as a small victory for them both. Sometimes Sam felt that uncomfortable tingle go through his skin, but he did his best to muscle through it. At least he could say the feeling was countered by the way Higgs would just lean in and sigh to the smallest bit of contact. Sam always felt happy if he could make Higgs relax like that.

Besides helping Higgs to open up, Sam also learned more about Higgs during the lessons with the twins.

They started off doing their usual work, but obviously Higgs wasn’t as caught up as them. Sam was used to being the slowest since the twins had quickly outpaced him. But despite how desperately Higgs tried to follow along, it was clear he needed extra help to even get close to Sam’s level of knowledge. The twins’ parents decided to do two things to help this along.

One was doing some one on one work with Higgs. However, he got a little too quiet and unresponsive when it was just him and one of the parents, especially their dad. Because of that, they changed it up a bit. Instead, Lockne got to help him with his homework and walk him through foreign concepts. Målingen got the chance to do it a few times, but Lockne was definitely a better fit for Higgs. Lockne balanced out her sister’s slightly more excited and rambling nature. She was also better at explaining things whereas Målingen just dumped everything out in one go.

So Lockne helped to bring Higgs up to Sam’s level, but the twins’ parents also tried other techniques like touching on other subjects outside the usual. They’d of course given occasional lessons on social sciences and things like art and culture. But since it wasn’t their expertise, those lessons were usually rare. However, they figured Higgs might feel more comfortable starting with some of those. It turned out they were right and during one such lesson, everyone was pleasantly shocked.

As the twins’ mother went over a semi-new lesson, one that they’d touched on before but now were going into further detail on, Higgs hesitantly raised his hand.

“Yes?”

“A-are we going to discuss the Ptolemaic Dynasty then? And the Greek culture within Egypt at the time?” Higgs’ voice had shaken as he spoke. His fingers messed with a loose thread and he looked anxious enough to unravel his whole sleeve if he had a chance. When he risked a peak from under his hood, he jumped a little as the twins’ mom had moved to sitting on her knees in front of Higgs. To be fair, their whole family got a little close when they got excited, just to varying degrees.

“What do you know about the Ptolemaic Dynasty?”

“J-just that it was named after Ptolemy I, one o-of Alexander the Great’s lieutenants,” whispered Higgs. “T-that Cleopatra was descended from him. S-she wasn’t Egyptian. Though s-she did speak it. Egyptian I mean.”

The twins’ mom readjusted her place and sat cross legged in front of Higgs. Lockne leaned her elbows against her knees. Målingen also scooted forward. Sam cocked his head curiously.

“What else do you know about Ancient Egypt?” asked the twins’ mom.

“L-like the Pharaohs? O-or their advancements in technology and medicine?” whispered Higgs. “Or their religions?”

She nodded. “Whatever you can think of,” she gently said.

Higgs slowly spoke, listing facts and theoretical concepts about how certain Egyptian events or creations came to be.

Then the twins’ mom gently covered Higgs’ hand. He shivered at the immediate contact, waiting for it to turn painful. But she just warmly patted him and murmured, “I imagine you’ve read quite a lot. Didn’t have much to do but read. Hmm?”

Higgs nodded.

“Was it all history?”

“Pretty much.”

“What else do you know?”

“W-what else?” Higgs looked surprised.

In order to help boost his confidence a bit, Sam added, “I want to hear what else you know. It’s interesting.”

“Really?”

The twins both nodded. Their mom asked, “Is it just Ancient Egypt, or are there other cultures you know about?”

“Others too,” whispered Higgs.

She showed a pleased and excited smile. “What are they?”

And so for that lesson, they finished with Higgs doing all the talking, recalling what he could and explaining it in a surprisingly well spoken manner. He also managed to remember many of the titles and authors he had read from, all of which the twins’ mom wrote down.

Later, Cliff came to pick them up. Higgs stayed with the twins a little longer, but Sam immediately ran to his dad. Because of that, he also got to listen in on the parents’ conversation.

After Cliff heard about what they’d done that day, the mom also said, “Which is all great. It gives me a better idea of how he compartmentalizes information meaning I should be able to make getting him caught up a lot easier. It’s a shame though. If things were different, I’d encourage him to pursue something in social studies. He has a knack for history and is far more passionate about it than me.”

Cliff showed a sad smile, partially directed back to where Higgs was with the twins. His grip tightened a little around Sam. “At least you have a way to help him now. I know he was frustrated with how lost he was with the homework you gave him that first time.”

She nodded in agreement and then Cliff gestured for Higgs to come join them. Higgs had gotten a little better at not hiding his face so actively around the twins, but as Cliff called him over, Higgs pulled his hood down lower and slunk over to his side.

They all needed to work on that reaction. Despite how happy Sam was with Higgs’ progress thus far, Higgs couldn’t keep fearing his dad. Sam thought about it a lot. He talked to his dad about it too. He didn’t want to end up hurting Higgs further. He didn’t want to risk pushing Higgs away, but he had to come and see that Cliff was different from the man that had originally raised him.

When Cliff went on deliveries now, Higgs really seemed to come alive. He started to act like how a kid should. If the twins were over, he even interacted with them more. Målingen asked once if Higgs could carry her on his back, like Sam always did for them.

And what had Higgs done? He’d smiled. A full, true smile and had said, “Yep. I bet I can carry you longer than Sam ever could too.”

“Alright Lockne,” Sam said with an exaggerated sigh. “Let’s prove him wrong.”

“Sabotage him,” Lockne excitedly whispered to her sister.

“But we want Higgs to win. Right?”

“Do we?”

“This time. Sam can win next time. So sabotage him.”

“Oh, ok.”

Both Higgs and Sam had rolled their eyes, only to then try and go about the rest of the day, including making dinner, with a kid on each of their backs. It had been fun, silly. Higgs had been alive. And even with the twins’ parents, he didn’t quite hide as much. He certainly liked the warmth that their mom showed him.

But every time Sam’s dad came back from a delivery, every time he picked them up from the twins, every time he called them in for dinner from their room, Higgs quieted again. He just shut down despite the progress he had made.

How to push?

How to not hurt Higgs?

How to not damage their friendship—

The answer came not from Sam. It didn’t come from his dad either. It came on a night that should have been normal. They were all having dinner together. Dad had picked out something that Higgs had mentioned liking once. It had gotten a small smile from Higgs, though he remained quiet with his head down throughout the meal. Since Cliff now knew Higgs enjoyed history, he did sometimes manage to get a few words of conversation out of him. Tonight though, Higgs just messed with his food as Sam and Cliff softly talked to each other.

It should have been a normal night.

But as they ate, a late-night porter walked through Middle Knot’s main entrance, only to drop immediately after access was recognized and allowed.

Sam was taking a sip of his water as a message dinged on their terminal. Dad got up to look at it, only to shoot back to his room.

Higgs frowned. “What was that about?”

Sam shrugged. He finished his water. He was about to stand up and go see what was happening when his dad ran back into the room. Cliff secured the timefall cover around him and had his hand on the door by the time Sam said, “What happened?”

“I don’t know yet, but I need you boys to stay here. I’ll be back soon.”

“Back soon? But what—”

Cliff was gone before Sam could finish the sentence. He let out a frustrated sigh and sat back down. Higgs pushed his hood up a little and looked to Sam. “Why would he go out now? It’s night and it’s raining.”

Sam shrugged again. He got up to go look at the terminal. He read the message that his dad had left there. His eyes widened before he glanced over to Higgs. “S-someone died.”

Higgs started. He quickly walked over and asked, “One of the older residents?”

“Maybe. It doesn’t say. No one was on medical watch. At least not from what I’ve heard.”

Higgs leaned over, reading the message but it didn’t give anything away. It only asked for the necessary personnel to come to the distribution center at the opening of the city. Though curious, Higgs just wrung his hands and murmured, “We should stay here. Like he said too.”

“Probably. Yeah.” Sam let out a tired sigh. He looked over and saw that Higgs was more worried about this whole mess. Sam gently tapped him on the shoulder. Higgs reached over and just held Sam’s hand. He still held it, even as they walked back over to the dinner table.

They finished up eating, though both more so messed around with their food, breaking it up rather than finishing the meal. They silently started to clean up afterwards. Everything had gotten put away—

Sam whipped his head up. Higgs jolted.

“That was a—”

“Gunshot,” Sam finished. His brow furrowed for a second. He trusted his dad. He knew that he wanted what was best for both of them. But what if something was going on that Sam could help with? What if staying was the mistake and he could be doing something right now? His dad had said to stay, but…

“You’re going to go after him,” whispered Higgs.

Sam couldn’t help but be a little shocked that Higgs could tell.

Higgs’ voice came out soft and careful. “Please don’t. I don’t…I don’t want you to get hurt.”

At that moment, another sound happened outside. It was a bit farther away, but still clearly a gunshot. Higgs quickly hugged himself.

“I have to go,” Sam said. He had to at least try to help. He got ready to tell Higgs to go to their room, but Higgs surprised him again.

“Then I guess I’ll follow.”

“Higgs, you don’t—”

“At the very least, we should stick together. Right?” asked Higgs. “I think we should stay, but if you’re going, I’m going too.”

That almost made Sam want to stay. He didn’t want to unnecessarily put Higgs in danger. But his dad…

They would just have to be extra careful. At least in the moment, that was the best compromise Sam could come up with. He nodded and said, “Let’s get the right covering on.”

They went and covered every patch of skin before finally pulling their hoods up. Then Sam was leading the way out into the dark.

The timefall was heavy enough that bits of rust could be seen falling off of structures, even with the new layers of protection meant to slow down the timefall process. It took them both a bit for their eyes to adjust to the lack of light in most areas, but when they did, Sam quickened his pace. He occasionally reached back, gloved hands just barely grazing Higgs’ arm to make sure he was still there.

At first, Sam wasn’t positive which way to go. From inside their home, it had been impossible to say exactly where the gunshot had come—

There was another one. And another.

The fight was escalating.

Sam and Higgs changed course.

They found their way over to where many of the vehicles were kept out in rows. It was a little way from the distribution center, but they were still relatively close to the entrance to the city. The vehicles had come to be used less and less what with the roads almost completely undrivable now. Some Sam knew didn’t even run and were slowly being stripped of parts until there would be nothing left. It made for good hiding spots, not just for themselves but for everyone else too.

Sam got as close as he dared to the front. His head barely peaked out as he tried to take stock of the situation, be aware of his surroundings, just like his dad had taught him.

People were trying to negotiate, or at least were acting like they wanted to as words were shouted back and forth. Sam couldn’t tell if they were being genuine or not. The strangers weren’t mules. Those people never came this close to the cities, instead setting up encampments around major porter routes. Terrorists maybe? But then why the shouting back and forth? Why not just outright try to kill the people here? Maybe they were just desperate. Maybe they hadn’t had any food for a while, any shelter.

If it was that though, they could be in even bigger trouble. Desperate people were sometimes the most dangerous as his dad had taught him. With desperate people, you couldn’t always predict what they were going to do next.

As Sam tried to figure out how many there were, Higgs had moved away. He was watching Sam’s back, his eyes scanning in the opposite direction. He moved slightly under the nearest vehicle to get a different view.

In retrospect, it all happened so quickly. But in the moment, Higgs had felt like hours had passed. Each drop of rain could be seen hitting the concrete, the splash flattening and spreading out, turning from time to normal water.

Higgs saw a man. His clothes were different from what he’d seen around Middle Knot, and he wasn’t wearing gear marking him as a porter. He had to be one of the strangers. Right? And then Higgs saw the glint of low light hitting metal, of a blade slicing the rain.

The connection was instant. Danger. Pain. It had to be aimed at someone, so Higgs’ eyes slowly moved to find the target.

By the time he did, another drop of timefall hit the pavement.

It was Sam’s dad.

Cliff held a non-lethal weapon, finger halfway through pulling the trigger, aimed in the opposite direction. Another drop hit the ground as Higgs’ eyes moved back to the assailant coming up Cliff’s back. The answer for what Higgs should do was not obvious and not really the right thought process either.

He didn’t think to intervene simply because it was the right thing to do. He didn’t think to stop it because keeping people from getting hurt was good. That kind of logic still wasn’t ingrained in him yet.

Instead, a dark thought crossed Higgs’ mind.

_Just let it happen._

It was like when his fingers had grazed the knife as daddy’s hands had encircled his throat.

_It would be so easy if only I could reach it._

Those dark thoughts entered Higgs’ mind, but they didn’t outright win. Cliff wasn’t his old man. Instead, the thoughts became jumbled with all the confusing thoughts of the past weeks. The contradiction of Cliff as he failed to harm Higgs and yet claimed to care. The kindness Higgs didn’t deserve. He thought of Sam and his relationship with Cliff. Even if Higgs was afraid of the man, Sam wasn’t. He loved him and if he got hurt, that would hurt Sam which Higgs didn’t want. Worse, what if Sam found out he could have done something and he hadn’t? What if Cliff didn’t die but realized his near death was because of Higgs? They would fucking kill him. Higgs was sure of it.

Ultimately, no one true reason rang out in Higgs’ head. But there was a sense of self-preservation in the action. Even if he got hurt, at least Sam and Cliff would see he had done something. At least they couldn’t blame him for inaction. At least there was a chance the relationship would maintain with Sam.

Another drop of timefall reached the earth.

Higgs pushed himself up and out from his hiding spot, away from Sam. He pushed his legs hard. His muscles strained. He came up near the man—

And time snapped back to its normal pace. Higgs hit the man hard. It was enough to destabilize him, but not to knock him over. The man grabbed Higgs with his free hand. Light flashed off the knife again. Higgs’ reacted purely on instinct, biting as hard as he could on the man’s arm. Through fabric and clothes, he put every ounce of strength into that bite and the scream that sounded filled his ears.

Then contact was made with his cheek. He could feel the sting as the knife partially cut him before Higgs hit the ground hard, timefall pelting his back as his weak arms tried to push himself up again. He did manage to slightly turn around. He only looked so far up so as to keep the rain from hitting his face. The figure was over Higgs. There was no way he could defend himself. Not in this position—

The knife pierced Cliff’s side.

One moment Higgs thought for sure he would be struck, possibly even killed. The next, Cliff had managed to get between them. He hadn’t been fast enough to stop the blade from piercing him, but he used that against the man. He pulled the blade in closer, unbalancing the man and giving Cliff a chance to punch him in the face. Before the man could fully recover, Cliff pulled his gun up again, flipped it over to the butt of it, and knocked the man out with one more clean strike. He flipped the gun back, finger near the trigger once more. One hand checked on the knife but didn’t pull it out right away. Instead, he moved to stay crouched over Higgs, doing a quick sweep of the area before turning to him.

“Are you alright?”

Higgs barely managed to nod. C-Cliff had just-he had j-just—

Cliff steadied the knife with one hand, but still didn’t pull it out. His other hand, held the gun out. He’d spotted Sam by this point and signaled for him to stay where he was. Sam signaled back for his Dad to look at his five o’clock.

Trusting his son, Cliff fired before he fully turned around. Higgs flinched at the body that hit the ground near him. The person wasn’t dead though. It was still non-lethal ammo after all.

Cliff let go of the knife. His bloodied hand grabbed Higgs’ arm. He pulled him up with a pained grunt, eyes quickly scanning the surrounding area. A head poked out and Cliff fired with his right hand as his left kept Higgs right behind him.

“Everyone ok?”

Residents of the city that had apparently been helping Cliff shouted back. Cliff had been keeping count after all and unless an unknown party had slipped in during the chaos, all known assailants were down. He holstered the weapon and then gripped the knife again, keeping it steady with his right hand now so he could still hold onto Higgs. The timefall started to let up before completely disappearing, leaving a black, starry sky above them.

With everyone finally coming out and the danger clearly over with, Sam shot across the field. His voice shook, even as he tried to maintain his composure. “Dad you have a k-knife in you.”

“I’m alright,” Cliff muttered, even as an automatic pained noise escaped his throat. He shifted his weight and let go of Higgs so he could turn and fully look at both of them. “What happened to staying at home?”

Sam winced. Higgs kept his face low so that no one, not even Sam could see his reaction.

“I had to do something,” Sam defended. “And Higgs managed to save you!”

Cliff let out a tired sigh. “You did Higgs, even if it was incredibly reckless. Both of you should go home now. I’ll meet you—”

Before Cliff could finish, the others that had come out of hiding quickly said they would deal with the situation further. Cliff needed to get himself stable and someone would grab the doctor as quickly as possible. He argued. Of course he did. He was a man of action and a knife in his side honestly wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever dealt with. But he also hadn’t had two boys in those past moments. Cliff conceded for the moment and kept the boys close when they finally headed home.

Cliff didn’t speak right away, trying to figure out the best way to handle this situation. Instead, Sam spoke first and whispered, “Y-you haven’t taken out the knife.”

Cliff let out a tired sigh. “I’ll give you one piece of advice right here. Unless you absolutely have to, never remove anything that pierces you without a way to immediately patch yourself up. And if you make that mistake, dear god do not try to put it back in.”

“Because it keeps the…” Sam carefully gulped. “Blood in?”

“Essentially.” Cliff paused to take in a few more painful breaths. How the hell should he do this? He didn’t want to outright punish either of them. They had helped, but they needed to understand the danger they’d placed themselves in and that they weren’t adults yet. They should have listened to him. They could have died! And Higgs…

God, how was any parent supposed to handle a situation like this?

Once home, Cliff collapsed on the couch and it wasn’t long before the doctor was there. Thankfully nothing too important had gotten pierced and the knife was short. Cliff tried to tell Sam he could leave. He shouldn’t have to see his dad getting patched up like this. However, Sam murmured, “If something ever happens to me though, or someone I know, I should know how to do this. Right? A doctor won’t always be there.”

“The kid has a point,” the doctor said as he grabbed the stitches.

Cliff tiredly rubbed his face. “Sam—”

“You just want to protect me,” whispered Sam. “But I’ll sometimes have to protect others too. And I want to know how to protect them. It’s ok dad. I’m not squeamish.”

Cliff carefully looked at Sam’s face, making sure he meant all that and wasn’t just trying to be strong. He didn’t want Sam to deal with such things, but if anything, he should count Sam’s childhood as lucky considering the state of their world. In some of the warzones Cliff had seen, children as young as four had to grow up. Sam at least had his childhood. And he still had a childhood ahead of him for a few more years. But he should be prepared. There was no telling what could happen tomorrow, even if Cliff strived to give him a little more time before he fully grew up.

“Alright,” Cliff slowly said. “But you know you can look away whenever you need to.”

Sam nodded before his eyes focused on his dad’s wound. A look of concentration came on him and for the most part, he dutifully watched, taking in all the details of what the doctor did, though he did look away twice for short times. Thankfully it was all over quickly and Cliff said, “Higgs, are you alright?”

Higgs just nodded.

“It looked like he got you on the cheek,” Sam tried, but Higgs just ducked his head lower. He still hadn’t taken off the timefall covering.

“Leave some things so I can take care of him if needed,” murmured Cliff. He could tell Higgs likely wouldn’t let the doctor near him right now.

The doctor nodded and soon Cliff was completely patched up. He shifted again into a more comfortable position and pulled his torn, bloodied shirt down. Sam walked the doctor out and set what he’d left on the kitchen table. Cliff gestured to Higgs.

“Come over here.”

Higgs just shrunk into himself more.

“Please. At least take the timefall covering off.”

Higgs just cradled one of his arms. It was the arm Cliff had grabbed, the bloody handprint still there.

“You did a very brave thing,” whispered Cliff. Also incredibly stupid, but Cliff wasn’t going to mention that now. “But it’s over. I’m ok, and I just want to make sure you’re ok. Please—”

With a sudden jerk, Higgs ripped the timefall covering off. It hit the floor. His usual hood also fell back. He looked Cliff right in the eyes for the first time. Neither moved. Sam froze from where he was standing in the kitchen.

Cliff’s eyes flickered to the cut on Higgs’ face. A small drop of blood slipped down the curve of his cheekbone. It was shallow and didn’t look like the skin underneath was going to bruise. Cliff would need to clean it later, but for now his eyes came to connect with Higgs’ gaze. Cliff watched as Higgs’ face slowly shifted. First he was just waiting. Then he looked confused. Anger came next and more confusion and fear and waiting still and hate and then confusion again.

Finally, Higgs whispered, “Why are you ignoring it?”

“Ignoring what?” murmured Cliff. Sam remained poised where he was, unsure of what he should do.

“Y-you have to see it.” Higgs waited, but when Cliff didn’t respond, Higgs’ voice got a little louder. However, it wasn’t the desperate shouts from their last heated conversation. He was a bit more in control, but no less confused. “Why did you even step in? Th-there was no reason for you to s-step in.”

“No reason? Higgs, that man was going to hurt you. Possibly kill you. Of course I had to step in.”

Higgs shook his head. He looked ready to hide his face. However, his knuckles turned white and he slowly looked up again. The anger deepened, then more confusion.

“Y-you regret it then. N-now that you see.”

“What am I supposed to see Higgs?”

“What _he_ always saw!”

Sam stepped closer. He took hold of Higgs’ sleeve and the older boy glanced back at him. For a split second, he looked like he was about to cry. Then he ripped his arm away and stepped towards Cliff and away from Sam.

“You would find out eventually s-so I’m just speeding it up. Don’t you get that?”

“So, you’re showing me what I would eventually see if I ever looked you in your eyes,” Cliff slowly said, putting the pieces together.

“Then you see it?”

Cliff kept his voice as calm as possible. “I don’t Higgs.”

Higgs didn’t look like he believed him. “Y-you want me to spell it out. I-in front of Sam then?” His shoulders shook and he started to cry.

“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to—”

“You don’t mean that! You don’t!” yelled Higgs. He stepped closer again. “Y-you’re trying to drag it out of me. In front of Sam so-s-so he-he hates m-me or-I don’t know.”

With a tired grunt, Cliff pushed himself off the couch. Higgs flinched. Sam took Higgs’ sleeve in between two fingers again. Higgs didn’t pull away, though perhaps that was because he was too focused on Cliff as he stood over him. When Cliff didn’t do anything, didn’t say anything, didn’t hit Higgs like he was expecting, Higgs broke again.

“I-I almost didn’t do it! I thought about doing nothing and letting it happen so I could finally be fucking free and when I did do s-something it wasn’t for you! I-it was for me! I-it was to save myself so if you survived you didn’t fucking kill me for not acting! And you see it! You can see it in my face! I know you can!”

Sam’s mouth dropped open slightly. “You don’t mean that. Do you?”

Higgs started to cry a little harder as Cliff gently said, “It’s alright Sam.” His wound made him wince a little, but he got down on his knees so that way he was smaller than Higgs. He gently took Higgs’ face, eyes roaming over the small cut again. For a split second, he focused on that rather than Higgs’ words. “That’s good. A little alcohol, antibiotics, and it will heal up in no time. The scar should even disappear after a while.”

“S-stop ignoring it,” whispered Higgs. He wiped at the tears on his face as Cliff retracted his hand. “I-I just said-the t-things I just admitted t-to and y-you-I basically s-said I’d let you d-die!”

And then Higgs jolted back and into Sam, though Sam stayed there holding onto Higgs’ arm. A shocked look passed over Higgs’ face as he stared back at Cliff. Stared at the tears that slipped down Cliff’s face.

“That’s what you wanted out of your father figure, correct?” Cliff softly murmured. “The only way out was for him to die.”

Higgs ducked his head down, the tears started coming again.

“I am so sorry you thought that was the only option you could take, but I am so grateful I managed to get there before you had to make that choice.”

Higgs took that the wrong way. “B-because you’re all the same. Right! B-because you’re just like h-him—”

In a voice soft but firm, Cliff interrupted, “No. I am glad I stopped you from making that choice. Not for him, but for you. You should never have been forced into that position, and I am so thankful I got to you in time.”

“B-but why? W-why would you do all this? W-why did you let yourself get hurt for me?”

“Because it was the right thing to do. Because I care about you, just like I’ve said before.”

The tears streamed down Higgs’ face. Cliff blinked and several more tears fell down his own.

“He wouldn’t have put his life in danger for you. Correct?”

Higgs shook his head. It was a horrible thought, but Cliff knew how to take it and run with it.

“Well I would do it again. If had to give my own life to protect you and my son, I would. Without any hesitation.”

Even Sam sniffed at that, wiping his own face as he looked away.

“T-to protect me?”

“Of course.”

“B-but the t-things I-I said a-and thought—”

“I forgive you Higgs. Every time you got upset or you hid from me or because of any bad thought you directed my way, I forgive.”

In one final broken shout, Higgs’ voice cracked. “But why!”

“Because I know it was directed at him, and I understand why you feel the way you do about the man that raised you. I understand you’re confused. But I’m not him. I never was,” whispered Cliff. “I’m sorry you were put in that situation tonight. I wish you hadn’t been. If anything, I wish you hadn’t acted at all if it meant keeping you just a little bit safer. Even a cut this small, I shouldn’t have let it happen.”

“S-shouldn’t have-but it was me! I-it was a-all my fault—”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re my ward. You’re my responsibility. And I’ll be damned if anyone ever harms you again. Whether that’s a stranger, or god forbid we meet _him_ again, I will make sure I firmly stand between you and the person. Every time.”

“You w-would stop even daddy?”

“I would. It doesn’t matter how hard the fight would be either. Punch me. Kick me. If he had a weapon and I had none, it would not matter. I would fight it all for you Higgs because that man will never touch you again. And neither will anyone else.”

And with that, Cliff grabbed hold of Higgs and his son. He pulled them in close. He could feel Sam’s silent, gentle tears hitting one shoulder, Higgs’ whole body sobbing and wetting the other.

“I love you both so much,” whispered Cliff. He meant it, but he hoped saying it now, Higgs finally could accept it. At least a little bit. When Cliff pulled back, he kissed the top of Sam’s head. Then he looked at Higgs and gently took his cheek. “Can I take care of this now?”

Higgs shakily nodded his head.

Cliff went to go grab what the doctor had left. Sam gently tapped Higgs’ shoulder. Higgs immediately took his hand and Sam murmured, “I forgive you too.”

Higgs started crying harder again. Cliff gently wiped the tears away. He warned Higgs when he was going to touch the wound and then carefully dabbed at it. Sam held onto Higgs’ hand for the longest that Cliff had ever seen. Even Higgs could tell it was getting a bit much despite how Sam hadn’t tapped him again on the shoulder. However, when Higgs tried to be kind and pull away, Sam just gripped his hand a little harder, muscling through it for his friend.

Cliff finished cleaning the wound and then placed two butterfly band-aids along it. “There. Good as new.” He stood up and warmly patted Higgs’ head. “Now, I think it’s time both of you go to bed. I need to go back and see what those people wanted in the first place.”

“We should get to know too,” Sam quickly said.

“I promise to tell you, but I think you both have gone against my word enough tonight,” Cliff said with a careful look. Sam winced. Higgs looked down, at least until Cliff encouraged him to look up again. “You both were incredibly brave to come looking for me, and I appreciate the backup. Just remember when I tell you something important, it’s because I’m trying to keep you safe. Understand?”

They both nodded. Higgs dropped his head again, though it wasn’t as low as he usually kept it if he didn’t have his hood up.

“Alright, I’ll be back soon. But for now, sleep.”

“What about the body?” Sam softly asked. “I-I saw the message on the terminal. It’s part of the reason we came looking for you. Will you have to—”

“If I’m needed for it, I will do it. But don’t worry, I’ll come back and tell you before I leave.”

“Ok.”

Cliff kissed them both on the tops of their heads. Higgs blinked in shock, but at least he didn’t flinch away.

“I’ll see you both soon. Now go to bed. Please.”

Higgs nodded. Sam softly agreed again. Cliff waited until Sam tugged Higgs to the back. Then Cliff grabbed his timefall covering again and headed out.

Sam finally loosened his grip when they were in their room. Higgs took the sign and let go. He quickly went to his bed to try and hide in the corner of it. The doubt was trying to worm its way into his mind again. Sam hadn’t meant those words. He had to hate him now for what he’d thought in regards to Cliff. However, Sam hopped onto Higgs’ bed and sat next to him.

“Y-you don’t hate me?” whispered Higgs. “Even after what I said?”

“I was a bit sad. Shocked. But I get it. Dad was right. You didn’t mean it. Not against him.”

“H-he said he loved me.”

Sam nodded. “I love you too. Just so you know.”

“You do?” Higgs squeaked.

“Yep. You’re still my friend,” Sam smiled. “And whatever your reasons, that was insane what you did tonight.”

“You think?”

Sam nodded. “Sorry I didn’t protect your back though.”

“It’s ok. N-next time?”

Sam’s face softened and he lightly laughed. “Yeah, next time. Just not when dad’s around. No need to give him another heart attack. You know?”

“Yeah,” whispered Higgs.

Sam nudged Higgs’ shoulder. “Want to sleep together tonight?”

Higgs nodded.

“Cool.” Sam jumped off to grab his own blanket before getting back on Higgs’ bed. They curled around each other, neither actually falling asleep. Despite how exhausted they were, especially Higgs, the adrenaline from before was still counteracting it. They stayed there, Sam eventually letting Higgs grip his pinky.

They did slowly start to doze off, but the moment the door opened, they were both sitting up in bed. Sam rubbed at his eyes as his dad walked in. “Everything ok?”

“For now.”

“What about the person who died?” murmured Higgs. He didn’t fully duck his head, but he still kept it angled down out of habit.

“Not actually dead thank god,” sighed Cliff. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He carefully looked at them both before saying, “Do you want to know the full story?”

They nodded.

“Alright then. You both know about mules and the terrorists that litter the landscape. Yes?”

They nodded again.

“Well there are people who don’t exactly fall into either. There are desperate people who’ve lost their homes, no bunkers, no cities to protect them.”

“And they didn’t kill anyone?” asked Sam.

“No, simply drugged him. He’ll be alright, but it did lower his heart rate to the point that on first inspection, we thought him dead. They were hoping to draw us to the front, sneak in, steal food and supplies, and then sneak out.”

“What about the one that was going to attack you? That hurt Higgs?” asked Sam.

“He claims he simply wanted to take me hostage to stop the fighting and try to negotiate for those supplies, but that he acted on instinct in when he got hit. He didn’t even realize he was lashing out a kid, which he greatly apologizes for. Normally I would doubt him more, but to be fair they didn’t kill the porter at the gate, and I did talk to them for a while.”

“So, what are you going to do?” asked Sam.

“It depends. We may give them supplies, let them go on their way, or we may see about incorporating them into the city. We’ll have to talk with them a little longer, but it is a possibility considering they have nowhere to go.”

“Even though they attacked us?” whispered Higgs.

“Even though. This world means hard decisions have to be made. Decisions that can’t always be taken back. But sometimes risks need to be made too. These people aren’t terrorists. They need help that we can provide and if we provide it, in return they could help us.”

“Then they’ll stay?” asked Sam.

“Maybe. That’s simply an idea of what could happen. Myself and some of the others will talk more about it tomorrow. But I want you both to take this as a lesson. First part of the lesson, listen to me next time if I say to stay.”

“But what if staying is one of those hard decisions we have to make?”

Cliff let out a tired sigh and gave Sam a pointed look. “You are too smart sometimes. You know that?” Cliff shook his head and murmured, “That may happen one day. But right now, trust me. I trust you both a great deal and know you’re responsible, but you’re still children for now. I know what I’m doing when I’m trying to keep you safe. Alright? Which goes into the second part, never risk your life for me for whatever reason. Either of you.”

“But dad—”

“That is my job as a parent. Not yours. You watch each other’s back. That’s what’s important. And third, be kind whenever you have the chance. That won’t always be an option for you but try. It may be an option for us here, and hopefully we’ll be able to take it. Please.”

They nodded again.

“Good. Sleep well, the both of you. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night dad.”

Higgs gave a little nod again.

With that, Cliff left the room, turning off the light on the way. Higgs and Sam lay back down, curling towards each other. Sam whispered, “I get what he’s saying, but I’ll always try to keep him safe.”

“That’s ok,” whispered Higgs, “because I can have your back when you do.”

“Thanks. Does this mean you can accept that my dad really does care now? For you too?”

Higgs was silent for a moment.

“Too soon?”

“I…I don’t know,” Higgs honestly said.

“Well either way, we love you Higgs. I’m going to keep proving it the best I can. Dad is too. Though hopefully no one will have to get stabbed again to show it.”

Higgs nodded in agreement at that. He closed his eyes and took in the warmth radiating from Sam, even without their bodies touching. Sam was still there. Even after Higgs’ admittance. And Cliff hadn’t gotten mad. Not even at that. Higgs might have thought Cliff just honestly didn’t care if that was all he was analyzing, but then Cliff had taken a knife wound for him, gotten stabbed.

The only protection a father was supposed to give was to protect Higgs from himself. At least that was how daddy had made it out to be. But Cliff had simply protected him, for no reason but to be…

Kind.

Cliff and his daddy…

They weren’t…

Maybe they really were…

Different.


	10. A Strand to Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you as usual, especially for sticking around for the end of the first part! The next part, the later teen years, will start up next chapter. Thank you again, the comments have been wonderful to read, and I hope you enjoy!

Higgs had only ever shed blood for his old man. He had never shed blood for Higgs.

But Cliff had.

Higgs had doubted him for so long, been so god damn confused by everything. When he’d come to accept that Cliff loved Sam, he figured it was because Sam was a good kid. It made him even more certain he had to hide his own face because Cliff would see. He would see how horrible his core was and punish him for it.

But then Cliff had protected him. Despite everything, he’d taken a knife for Higgs. Whatever the reason behind that, Higgs had decided he had to show the man the truth. He couldn’t deal with sitting in fear for who knew how long, just waiting for Cliff to glimpse his face and see the truth. To see that risking his own life to protect Higgs’ had been worthless, a mistake.

Higgs had been so fucking terrified, even as he’d thrown off his hood in a flourish.

But Cliff hadn’t seen. At least he’d claimed he couldn’t see, so then Higgs came up with his own explanation again. Cliff had to see. He had to! He just wanted Higgs to admit it in front of Sam. That way Sam would finally know how wrong and horrible Higgs was and the best thing that Higgs had formed here would finally break.

But then something Higgs couldn’t find an explanation for happened. Cliff and Sam forgave him.

Higgs couldn’t immediately just put all his faith in Cliff. But the man had done something that daddy never would have done. His daddy had even said multiple times, any trouble he got into was his own fault. If he got hurt, if he even died, that was Higgs’ fault. He deserved it then.

His daddy had said Higgs had deserved it as his hands had crushed Higgs’ throat.

But Cliff had saved him. Despite how it had been Higgs’ fault. Despite how he had deserved whatever pain should have befallen him. Cliff had stopped all that from happening. He’d protected Higgs. He hadn’t blamed him.

He had _saved_ him.

Perhaps if the incident had happened earlier, Higgs’ mind would have tried to come up with some other reason. There had to be some agenda that Higgs wasn’t seeing then. Cliff couldn’t possibly be kind simply to be kind. Right?

But the incident had happened later. It had happened after becoming friends with Sam, with the twins. It was after interacting with the twins’ parents. He got proof that not all parents were the same, and he saw how their parents treated them, how Cliff treated Sam. They loved their kids. They were kind.

And they treated Higgs the same. Because there was no reason to treat him differently. Because he didn’t deserve all the pain daddy had claimed he deserved. Maybe Higgs had never—

Despite everything, it was hard to break habits.

Doubts still filtered in, especially regarding Cliff. But for once, there were other voices in his head that were just a little louder, a little more convincing. Higgs still ducked his head. He liked to keep his hood up, but he didn’t do it quite to the degree he had done it before. When Cliff did see his face, when he looked him in the eyes—

He never said a word. Nothing spewed out of his mouth like how daddy would have done. Nothing full of hatred and anger. Cliff just smiled, would pat Higgs on the back, ask him a question maybe.

Cliff _cared_.

Higgs didn’t fully admit it. Not to himself or to Cliff. More time passed before that and for a bit, his mind focused more on the other kids. It was easier with them. The lessons the twins’ parents gave were sometimes really difficult, but it was still easier than thinking on Cliff.

So days passed. Weeks. Higgs was actually given the chance to talk to the man that had struck him if he wanted to, and he’d decided to go with it. Part of his decision was based on curiosity. A smaller part wondered if the man would legitimize Higgs’ own concerns. Maybe he had seen how wrong Higgs was, even in the dark and in the timefall. He wouldn’t feel bad about hurting Higgs. Right?

But the man had felt bed. He’d shown a great deal of remorse, and Higgs suspected that the others watching used that as further support that the people needed help, not to be punished. Higgs had been surprised when the man had asked for his forgiveness, but Higgs had softly given it to him anyways.

Time passed again. He was pretty much caught up with Sam in the lessons, though it was clear Sam had a better knack for things like mechanical engineering than Higgs ever would. Still, it didn’t get him down. The twins’ parents also focused on history and other subjects that Higgs was better at and more interested in. They even went out of their way to find texts that Higgs might enjoy.

It was done out of kindness.

He was praised for talking, for expressing his opinion.

He managed to make others laugh. He made them smile rather than scowl and glare.

His very existence wasn’t a thing to be hated.

None of them hated him.

It was the hardest thing Higgs had ever had to learn. Harder than any equation the twins’ parents had tried to impart on him. Harder than any punch he had taken from daddy. It was a lesson that took days to learn, weeks, months even.

Since the moment Cliff had taken him from that bunker, so much had happened. Eventually, Sam’s birthday came up and they were both thirteen, at least until Higgs’ birthday came to pass too.

Higgs remembered Cliff’s promise. Yet as he got to be around for Sam’s birthday, he again doubted. No way they would want to celebrate his birthday to such an extent. No one would want to. Even Sam wouldn’t be that into it. It wouldn’t be that fun.

Higgs thought all this, even while he managed to smile for Sam and tried to make sure his birthday was as good a day as possible.

Then Higgs’ birthday came. Higgs thought for sure it would come and go without any fanfare. Exactly five months had come and gone since Cliff had rescued Higgs. So many of Higgs’ preconceived notions had changed or were still being challenged. But surely they wouldn’t actually want to celebrate him in any way. He’d of course told Cliff the exact date when asked, but he’d thought for sure he’d forgotten it by the time the date neared. Or maybe because Higgs hadn’t asked for anything specific like Sam, he wouldn’t get anything then.

The doubt tried to enter his mind, invade his mood, tear him down, but it ended up getting blown out of the water on the day of.

Higgs lazily rolled over, letting out a long yawn as his eyes caught sight of Sam rushing out of bed. He was out of the room before Higgs had even managed to prop himself up on one arm. His brow furrowed, but worry didn’t immediately enter Higgs’ mind. It wasn’t like Sam was running from a fire or something. He looked excited, but about what, Higgs didn’t know.

Could it be…

No. It couldn’t possibly…

But what if…

Higgs got up. He grabbed his hoodie, still liking to keep it on. He didn’t always have the hood up now, or if he did, he didn’t use it to hide his face quite like he had before. But it was still a comfort.

He went to the restroom first. No one was in there. Cliff’s door was open and his room empty. Higgs could hear a commotion coming from up front so they weren’t gone. Higgs had a few ideas as to what could have Sam so excited, but he didn’t risk thinking about it in any great detail. He would just disappoint himself.

Higgs walked in and washed his face. As he slowly wiped at the water with a towel, he carefully looked over his own features.

He’d hated his face for so long.

But…maybe his face never had shown anything. Or at least not as much as his old man had made him believe. His core wasn’t free for anyone to view, or even if it was, it wasn’t some dark, twisted thing like he’d thought. Higgs wasn’t a mistake. His birth wasn’t a curse that others had to suffer through.

He wanted to believe that. The fact that he could even think all this now was progress.

But the doubt was still there.

Higgs let out a tired sigh. He wiped his face one final time and then through the hood up. He toyed with its edge but didn’t pull it down low.

He finally walked into the kitchen.

“Happy birthday!” yelled Sam.

Higgs jumped a little, but his eyes quickly focused on the cake that was already sitting there. Fourteen candles were lit and waiting. A quick look around showed that Cliff must have gotten up incredibly early so that it would be done before Higgs was awake. There certainly hadn’t been any sign last night of him cooking.

“Y-you didn’t forget?”

Cliff showed a kind, bittersweet smile. “Oh Higgs…”

“Here come the waterworks.” And with that, Sam was jumping out of his chair and rushing to Higgs’ side. He hugged him tight, even putting his cheek against Higgs’ in a gesture of comfort that Higgs knew wasn’t normal for Sam.

“S-sorry for—”

“It’s ok,” Sam interrupted. “Happy birthday Higgs.”

He sniffed a little and tried not to get snot or tears on Sam. He fully wiped at his face when Sam let go and took a step back. Higgs looked up again. It was the first time he’d ever seen a cake with his name on it. Cliff had done the same thing for Sam. But that was his son. Despite everything, Higgs hadn’t thought he’d really-that he would want to do something like—

Higgs sniffed again as Cliff came around and put his arm around Higgs.

“T-thank you,” whispered Higgs.

“You’re welcome,” Cliff smiled. “Now, hurry up and blow them out before wax gets on the icing.”

Higgs cleared his throat a little. Then he took in a deep breath. He blew once, then once more to get the last two candles to blow out.

“Nice,” grinned Sam. “Which slice do you want?”

“Umm…” Higgs hesitantly pointed. Cliff got the knife and cut the slice for him.

As Cliff did, he looked at Higgs from across the counter. A small smile showed and he said, “We’re going to have to get you new clothes soon. You’re sprouting up too quickly.”

Higgs shyly looked away. “Sorry.”

“You’re a growing boy Higgs. Nothing to be sorry about,” murmured Cliff as he placed the plate in front of him. He went to cut Sam’s slice and added, “You’ll probably be taller than Sam when you’re both done.”

“Nuh uh! I won’t let him.” Sam stood on his tip toes to try and prove the point, but even with that Higgs was still ahead of him.

Higgs softly laughed. “I’ve got you beat.”

Sam made a pouting face, though it was more teasing than anything and quickly disappeared as he got his own slice.

Both boys ate and Cliff said, “I was hoping you would give me at least some hints about what you’d want, but I didn’t want to directly ask. Otherwise it wouldn’t be as much of a surprise. I hope you like the flavor. Sam picked it out.”

Higgs had been used to surprises from daddy. But this, this was a nice surprise. He gently smiled, even as he ducked his head a little. “I like it,” Higgs murmured. “Thanks.”

“So, what do you want to do today?” asked Sam.

“M-me?”

“It’s your birthday. And remember what I said?” Sam leaned in a bit and whispered. “It’s whatever you want. I can even tell dad to run off and we can just hide in our room if you’d rather.”

That made Higgs smile. However, he glanced up to see Cliff putting up some of the dishes and cleaning up the mess from cooking. “He doesn’t…have to leave,” Higgs murmured. He meant it, and better yet, he didn’t say it because he feared any retaliation. Not from Cliff. A little louder, Higgs said, “We should clean up—”

“Nope. Your job today is to get sick eating too much food,” Cliff said, “and to have fun. I’ll take care of this. Still want to have pizza as your birthday food?”

“Really?”

Cliff nodded.

“Yes please.”

“Good.”

“So,” Sam said, leaning forward again. “What do you want to do?”

“W-watch something?”

“It’s up to you.”

Higgs hesitated before finally murmuring, “Yes. Yeah I’d like to watch something.”

“Cool. But you better stop questioning things because we’re going to watch what you want to watch. It’s not my birthday anymore,” smiled Sam as they headed to the couch.

Higgs tried his best to not double check with Sam if every little thing was alright. When he did, Sam just gave him a little nudge and a reminder. “All that matters is if it’s what you want to do.”

Eventually Higgs picked an old movie, obviously before the BTs and timefall and everything. It was crazy to think people could get paid pretending to be someone else. Higgs kind of liked the idea, though he could admit that for the first time in forever, he kind of liked who he was. At least right now. At least sitting here with Sam, full with birthday cake for the first time in his life.

If Cliff wasn’t around, Higgs liked to talk through movies. Or anything they watched. Since Cliff was still cleaning up the kitchen, Higgs was hesitant to open his mouth. But maybe…

Cliff had done all this for him already. Higgs had continually tested the waters of late, and Cliff hadn’t retaliated yet. Higgs carefully took a deep breath and tried to act like he did when Cliff wasn’t around. He tried to act like it didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter.

“Do you think that’s real? Or made up?” Higgs asked. He kept his voice a little lower than normal, but Sam seemed pleased and jumped into the conversation. Higgs kept up, eventually talking more and slightly over Sam. When Cliff made a noise, Higgs would hesitate in his speech. But he was ok. Cliff didn’t mind him talking. Maybe he never had.

As they watched the first movie and then started a second one, Cliff finished cleaning tidying up. He decided to give the rest of the morning to them and said he’d be gone for a bit so he could talk to those at the distribution center for some future jobs. He would be back soon, and just in time for lunch though.

Higgs actually smiled at that. If he looked back, Cliff really had been careful. Even when he was home and not on jobs, he had tried to give Higgs room like he was doing now. Cliff had never been domineering like Higgs’ mind had made him out to be. At least Higgs was almost certain of that now.

He turned back to the movie once Cliff left. After it was over, Sam quickly added, “Almost forgot. The twins and their parents are coming over soon. But don’t worry! We can send them away if you just want it to be us two today. They just wanted to give you your present. And they helped me make mine.”

“W-wait you-but I-I didn’t get you any—”

“It’s ok Higgs. Sorry, didn’t mean to make you feel guilty.”

“I should have gotten you something.”

Sam quickly shook his head. He nudged Higgs with his shoulder, encouraging him to look up again. “You know what I wanted from you?”

Higgs shook his head.

“Your company. And I got it. Best birthday present ever.”

“Y-you mean that?”

Sam nodded.

Higgs bit his bottom lip. He wasn’t sure if Sam meant that, but if he did… “Well, all I want from you is your company too!”

“Sorry, too late,” Sam replied with a teasing yet still kind smile. “But don’t worry. If you really want to, you can always get me something next year.”

“Next year?”

“Or the year after that.”

“Or…the year after.”

“Yeah. Or…do you still want to leave?”

Higgs hesitated. He felt like he had an invisible chord in his hand. He could keep holding onto it. He could maybe even try to find his way back to the origin like he had wanted to at initially. But for the first time, Higgs realized the chord had barbs on it. The chord hurt to hold, and he’d been holding so tightly to it for all his life. Now there were other chords though. There wasn’t just the one and Higgs could…he had a choice here and now…

He cut the chord. Its frayed edges were still there. He couldn’t let go of the remnants just yet. But the connection was gone as he slowly looked up at Sam. “I want to stay.”

Sam’s face lit up. “Good, because you’re staying forever.”

“Oh, so you already decided. Huh?”

“Well yeah. Or if you had decided to leave, I would have just followed you,” grinned Sam.

“I’ll keep that in mind. So…another movie?”

“You want to keep doing that? Remember. It’s your choice.”

“Um…another movie. Until the twins come. And…they can stay for a bit. But then the ruins. Maybe?”

“Sure. If it gets too late, we can go tomorrow morning instead.”

“Really?”

Sam nodded. “So, what movie do you want to watch now?”

“Hmm.”

He finally picked one and about halfway through, Cliff came back. Higgs started to duck his head. However, he took a deep breath and managed to keep it high. He didn’t hide. He didn’t stop talking. He still had fun with Sam as Cliff started prepping for the pizza. Once the movie was over, the pizza was almost done and the twins and their parents were over.

Higgs was a bit shocked when the whole family cried happy birthday and hugged him. But it felt good. Was it just because it was his first birthday with them? He hoped that the way they were reacting was more of a rule and less of an exception.

“Open your presents,” Målingen quickly said. They had two packages, a small one about the size of his hand and a much larger one.

“Give him a little space,” their father said. “He can open them on his own time. Or after cake if that’s what you’re doing.”

“We had cake for breakfast,” grinned Sam.

Målingen and Lockne’s eyes went wide. “Mom!”

“You’re a terrible influence Cliff,” she sighed even as she tried to hold her laugh in.

The adults stayed in the kitchen and the kids drifted back into the living room.

“Come on,” said Lockne. “Open them.”

“Guys,” Sam tried, however Higgs shook his head with a small smile.

“It’s ok. Um, which one should I—”

“The big one,” Målingen quickly said.

As the twins passed that one over, their parents said, “That’s from us. We hope you like it Higgs.”

He pulled off the brown paper and looked at the book. His hand roamed over the cover as a soft smile showed. He quickly flipped to the table of contents, looking at what it had to offer. It was a collection of legends and folktales and myths from China. He knew more about places like Africa and Europe than what had once been known as the east when the world was bigger. It made him excited to get into something new. And there were illustrations meaning he could get an idea of how those who had passed down these tales had viewed their own myths. He probably would have started reading it if Lockne hadn’t grabbed one of his arms and Målingen forced herself under the book and into his lap.

“Now the next one. It’s from Sam,” grinned Målingen.

“It’s from all of us—”

Lockne quickly interrupted him. “Nope! It was all Sam.”

“But you guys—”

“He needed a little help,” Målingen said.

“But it was all Sam,” Lockne repeated.

“This is his present to you,” Målingen added.

“Don’t let him convince you otherwise,” Lockne said as she forced the package into one of Higgs’ hands and he was forced to place the book to the side.

“They still helped,” mumbled Sam with an embarrassed look down.

“Our parents helped. Still isn’t their present to him,” Lockne replied.

“Open it!” Målingen cried again.

Higgs softly laughed. Though curious, he was pretty sure the twins were more excited than he was. But he was already glad. Whatever, the present was, he’d cherish it forever since it was from Sam. The brown paper fell to the floor with the rest. Higgs pulled off the top of the small box.

The object softly sounded as bits of metal hit each other. Higgs pulled it up by its strand. Though obviously it wasn’t made out of the usual bits of twine or fabric, he recognized it all the same.

“A quipu?”

“I-I remembered how you liked learning about different ways of record keeping. And you really seemed interested in that process,” Sam murmured with an embarrassed look down.

“He was going to make one out of stuff,” Lockne explained.

“But we got our parents in on it! It’s metal and won’t fall apart,” Målingen explained.

“And with a small layer of chiral crystals.”

“So it’ll last for a long time. Maybe even like, ever!”

“And it means it’s yellow. Which we know is like, your favorite color.”

Higgs smiled. So much thought had already been put into it. “So what’s the message?”

Sam blushed and looked down again. “It’s your name. Kind of.”

“In binary!” Lockne proudly said.

Higgs looked at the little knots again. He didn’t really get binary and still didn’t understand how Lockne could read it like they were just letters. Still… “There are too many knots for my name though. Right?”

“That’s because it’s one of the equations that we went over,” Målingen explained. “This is the binary translation of the equation for the Higgs particle going off the Standard Model.”

“I was just going to do your name—” Sam tried.

However, the twins interrupted him again. Lockne said, “But we remembered how amazed you were that anything with your name could be so cool. So important.”

“So we wanted something you could always look at and know,” Målingen explained.

“That you’re important.”

“Which Sam wanted to do.”

“We just helped get the message across a bit better.”

Higgs sniffed. “You didn’t have—”

“I did,” murmured Sam. “I…I hope you like it.”

Higgs sniffed again. He started to wipe at his eyes, trying to figure out how to put his feelings into words. He didn’t get a chance to flounder out some answer though because the twins both grabbed him, hugging him tight. Sam rested his head against Higgs shoulder and whispered again, “Happy birthday Higgs.”

“Thank you,” Higgs murmured. He managed to keep any tears from falling, wiping his face one last time once everyone gave him a bit more room. He picked up the quipu again. He undid the clasp and pulled it around his neck, waiting until he heard the little click. He toyed with a few of the knots, trying to figure out what each strand specifically stood for. He would ask Lockne later. For now, he knew the meaning behind it which was more than enough.

“What are you watching?” asked Målingen.

“Oh, that looks cool. Can we stay and watch too?”

“It’s up to Higgs,” Sam quickly said. “Remember, it’s his birthday. We have to wait for yours before you can start bossing people around.”

The twins giggled before looking Higgs’ way. He toyed with the knots a few more times. He liked hanging out with just Sam. But to be fair, he got to hang out with him a lot just by living with him. And with the twins it was usually in the context of the lessons now. He liked them. They could easily lose him in a conversation if they were going off on anything theoretical, but they weren’t as annoying as Higgs had first assumed and nowhere near as nosy once they had figured out his boundaries.

“You can stay. You could even stay for lunch.” He looked over at Cliff though and quickly added, “If that’s ok?”

He tensed up a little, but Cliff just smiled and said, “Of course Higgs.”

The twins cheered and Higgs couldn’t help but smile too. Målingen got cozy between him and Sam, Lockne sat on Higgs’ left. As they watched the screen, Higgs occasionally messed with the knots. It was a gift, just for him. And though he would never be able to understand the equations and their applications like the twins, he liked that they’d done that rather than just his name.

He had been amazed that anything sharing his name could be so cool as to also be known as the God Particle. Higgs doubted he, or anyone, could live up to a name like that, but it was still cool.

The twins stayed for a while. They all stayed curled up, watching whatever they could find and eating far too much pizza. It looked like it was going to be too late to go to the ruins, but Higgs honestly didn’t mind. Sam and him could run off tomorrow when it was light again.

The twins’ parents did eventually duck out with promises to come pick them up before the end of the night. Cliff let them have their space, and overall the day ended up going far better than Higgs could have imagined. It was certainly the best birthday Higgs had ever had.

For dinner, Cliff asked if he wanted something else but Higgs repeated, “Pizza again?”

“Alright pizza it is. You’re the birthday boy after all.”

And with that, they all had dinner together too. The twins’ parents picked them up. Cliff made sure Higgs knew he didn’t have to clean up, so while Cliff did that, Higgs and Sam moved to their room. Higgs kept the quipu on. He might never take it off honestly. Sam and Higgs curled up in his bed and he pulled out the book the twins’ parents had given him.

They read through a few, Higgs eventually pausing on one as he carefully read the name out loud. “Yu-kiang?”

“Creepy,” murmured Sam as he looked at the old illustration.

“Do…do you think the story might have been inspired by the Beach? Even though they didn’t know about it yet?” asked Higgs after reading some points.

“Huh…maybe. A giant whale like thing with human hands and feet?”

“Hopefully it’s an exaggeration. Or them trying to explain old handprints in the ground.”

“Yeah, a giant whale thing flying around would be pretty terrifying,” murmured Sam. “I wonder if there are other old legends or old artifacts that might point to the Beach.”

“It would be cool to find out.”

“Maybe someone else has already started gathering up evidence.”

“I’d like to see that one day,” Higgs admitted.

They kept flipping through it, the night growing darker as Higgs started to get a little drowsier. Sam also looked about ready to pass out when Cliff suddenly knocked on the door and poked his head in.

“Anything you boys need before I go to bed?”

“No thanks dad.”

Higgs shook his head.

“Alright. I’ll see you in the morning then. I hope you had a good birthday Higgs. And we’ll get you those new clothes soon. Promise.”

Cliff started to leave, but Higgs jumped up. Both Sam and Cliff looked confused. To be fair, Higgs was a little confused too. He’d acted instinctively. There were still so many thoughts in his head. There were contradictions and confusing bits of logic. There was fear. Fear that this would end.

But the fear towards Cliff? It was almost gone. Cliff had never been a danger to Higgs. All he’d been was caring and kind. And Higgs was happy. He could fully admit that now. He was happy he was here.

“I-I just…” Higgs carefully swallowed. Cliff patiently waited, giving him an earnest look. “I wanted to say-that is-just thanks. I…I wanted to thank you. For saving me. S-sorry it took me so long to say it.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Cliff murmured as he fully walked into the room. “And I would do it again. I hope you know that.”

“I do,” whispered Higgs. And he meant it.

Cliff grabbed hold and pulled Higgs into a hug. Higgs wrapped his own arms around him. It felt good and warm and nice and above all, it felt right. The few hugs daddy had allowed had never felt right. Higgs knew this now. But this? This felt so damn good.

“Happy birthday Higgs,” Cliff murmured as he kissed Higgs on the top of his head. “I hope you had a good day.”

Higgs nodded, not wanting to say anything for risk of crying again.

When they pulled apart, Cliff ruffled his hair. He moved over and gave Sam a kiss good night and then went back to the door. “Good night you two.”

“Night dad.”

“Night Cliff.”

It was the first time Higgs had said his name out loud. He’d either said sir or nothing before. Now the way that Cliff smiled at it had Higgs smiling back before he jumped into bed again with Sam.

“Let’s read one more story. Then tomorrow we can head to the ruins,” Sam suggested.

“I’d like that.” Higgs turned back to the last story they’d looked at and both curled up close, reading through it until they were ready to fall asleep.


	11. A Bridge to the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright another time jump and onto the late teen years! Hopefully it flows well and you enjoy the chapter. I did think about doing maybe one more in the early adolescent time frame, but I do want to keep the story moving and don't want to go over every little detail and just bore all of you.
> 
> So again, I hope you enjoy the start of the second part of this story. I really enjoyed writing the first part and I'm excited to get into this one. Hope you guys have a good week if you're doing anything holiday related, and good luck with work if you're working like me. Thanks again and hope you enjoy <3

Things were changing. Some for the worse. Some were becoming better. But the world was evolving as it always had and always would until it simply stopped existing.

Cliff never could have imagined his life now. There were things he missed. There were people he wished could be here now. But he was still thankful for what he’d managed to hold on to despite it all. He was thankful for his boys.

Being a porter was still the best job for a man with his skills, and though the vast highway and train networks of the past were still gone, other technological advancements were being made. He no longer had to manually worry about timefall. Even if the squall was coming from behind, the sensors detected it and pulled the hood up before a drop could hit him.

Then the odradek was invented, making traversal easier, along with the chiral cannister. That made collecting the crystals simpler and safer, and something Cliff could even do while simply walking from one destination to the next. Floating carriers were the next big thing, though he knew tweaking was still needed so that the crystals were used at an efficient rate.

All-terrain vehicles had also improved in the past years, though they were still only useful for deliveries in the near vicinity what with large crevices, sharp cliffs, and too deep ravines making them useless in other environments.

Traversal over other parts of the world had become more difficult however despite their attempts. BTs had been increasing and spreading. No longer was timefall staying to its usual patches as it gradually became more and more widespread and unpredictable. As someone without DOOMS, it made moving across the land more difficult, even with the technological advances.

The last concern was any human enemies and as far as they went, the mules were the least of Cliff’s worries. The terrorists though? Despite being scattered by nature, their activity and the sheer number of them had increased as well. It was as if something was spurring them on, though Cliff had no idea who or what that could be.

Despite the increasing dangers, Cliff’s travels had increased in distance and time too. Though he disliked being gone for too long, he felt better knowing the boys had each other. Cliff could also trust the twins’ parents to watch out for them. The longest journey Cliff ended up taking took nearly two months. It had also taken him the farthest distance he had ever gone, to South Knot City. The trip likely would have been closer to a month, or a month and a half, but the level of terrorists down there had made parts of the journey near impossible at times. Cliff had also done some quick, individual deliveries while down there, trying to make the most of his visit.

When he had left, Sam and Higgs had both asked to come with him. They had only been fifteen and sixteen at the time though. Cliff had been forced to say no, but it had reminded him that they couldn’t live within the safety of Middle Knot for the rest of their lives.

With that thought, Cliff had murmured, “But don’t worry. When I get back, I’ll start teaching you how to protect yourself in such a world. And then perhaps you can come with me on my next delivery, though obviously it would be much closer to home.”

Higgs had looked surprised. Sam had asked, “Do you mean that?”

“Yes. As much as I’d like to keep you both safe and within these walls, I know you both don’t wish for that. You will need to tread your own paths one day, and the best I can do is prepare you for that. So that is what we will do when I get back.”

Both had been pretty excited at the idea, and when Cliff had finally returned, he kept that promise.

A great deal of time had passed since that conversation. Now the boys were seventeen and eighteen. Cliff was in between jobs and currently making sure Sam and Higgs had kept up with their training while he’d been away on the most recent one.

Though not quite adults, Cliff could see the young men they were growing into. Higgs had especially flourished. The first year had been difficult, but he’d made progress faster than Cliff could have hoped. By the time two full years had passed, any doubts that Higgs still held he no longer voiced or visibly flinched over. Cliff was sure some of those thoughts had still remained, perhaps even now still existed, but he was confidant Higgs could shut them down when they did pop up.

And speaking of growing into young men, Higgs had continued to sprout, much to Sam’s bemused annoyance. Already Higgs was the same height as Cliff, and he had a feeling that Higgs might gain another inch or two before he reached twenty.

Despite how Higgs teased Sam for his shorter stature, it was times like in training that Sam managed to get him back.

It was a clear day with supposedly no reports of timefall to come. They were outside where they had more room. Cliff carefully watched from the sidelines, slowly stroking his chin as his eyes moved over fine muscle movements and telling tics. It wasn’t unlike the times he’d watched his men spar in his squadron, only now he was much kinder when icing a bruise or patching the boys up.

“I told you Higgs,” he called from the sidelines. “A height advantage does you no good if you don’t ground yourself first.”

Higgs became distracted. He dropped his arms and whined, “But I am—”

Sam slammed into his side and they both hit the ground hard. Cliff showed a sympathetic face as Sam easily pinned Higgs.

“Not fair,” Higgs groaned as he let his head fall back with a thud.

“And what do we say to that?” asked Cliff.

“A mule or terrorist doesn’t give two shits about fairness,” Sam replied.

“Well yes, minus the language.” Cliff rolled his eyes. He’d somewhat given up trying to police their language and to be fair, he had certainly cursed at that age, just not in front of his own parents.

Sam started to let go of Higgs, however Cliff waved at him to stay. He focused on Higgs. “And how are you going to get out of this?”

“Get out-I have a brick on me!”

“Ok giraffe,” Sam deadpanned.

Higgs struggled to try and kick Sam for that but couldn’t manage as he was still pinned.

“Say this happens to you out in the field,” Cliff said, trying to turn their teasing into something more constructive. “What’s your next move? Do you use brute force to break his grip? Your legs? Can you manage to twist out of the grip? If so, can you do it fast enough before he has time to readjust?”

Cliff waited. Sam just glanced back down with a confidant, sly smirk. To be fair, Sam had the strength advantage, especially in this position. But he was quick too. Unless Higgs got lucky or tried something truly new, Sam would manage to keep him pinned until he decided to be merciful—

Higgs leaned his head up and licked Sam’s face.

Sam jolted back, his grip immediately letting go. With a slightly pained oof, the positions were reversed, and Higgs got Sam on the ground. He didn’t pin him though, instead finally standing over him with a triumphant smile.

“What the hell? That was fucking gross Higgs,” grumbled Sam. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and quickly wiped his cheek.

“It worked though,” Higgs defended.

Cliff carefully hid his smile behind one hand. “It did work.”

“Dad!”

“I’m afraid he’s won this round son. Though I wouldn’t recommend it as a regular tactic either Higgs.”

“Right,” Higgs murmured with a slightly embarrassed look down. He quickly dusted himself off and then offered a hand to Sam.

“Are you going to lick that too?”

“I will if you keep bringing it up.”

“I yield.”

“Good, pipsqueak.”

They simultaneously rolled their eyes before Sam finally took the offered hand. That was something Cliff was rather proud of as well. Though with anyone new Sam had to build himself up, the time it took to get used to small physical touches had lessoned greatly. With people like Higgs and the twins, Sam was perfectly fine with them, though there were just days he needed breaks and he still got thrown off if the contact was a surprise, kind of like now.

Sam and Higgs were also in the midst of their teen years and the teasing quips had grown a great deal as evident in their sparring. Most of the arguing was surface level issues though and half the time they didn’t really mean it. Cliff had to count himself as lucky for that, especially considering they still shared the same room and there were probably plenty of small annoyances for two teens to butt heads over.

“Alright, time for a break,” Cliff said, gesturing for the boys to head inside. As Higgs passed, Cliff made sure to check his head. “All good?”

“Yeah, just a bump. No thanks to you.” He stuck his tongue out at the back of Sam’s head.

“You would have been fine if you didn’t get so easily distracted,” retorted Sam.

“Says the guy who tripped over a rock and faceplanted.”

Sam’s blush could be seen, even on the back of his neck. “That was one time!”

“And I will never let you live it down.”

Cliff could only shake his head at them with a fond smile as they walked inside. The boys quickly went to grab some water from the kitchen. Sam grabbed a dishrag and wiped the sweat from his face.

As Cliff went to the back to look over a few things, Higgs readjusted his quipu so that it was comfortably resting underneath his shirt again. He nudged Sam a little. “Sorry if that was too weird. I won’t do it again.”

“I mean dad had a point. If it works,” snorted Sam. “Just don’t do it on me.”

“Hey, at least I only did that in the spur of the moment. I could have bit you.”

“Is that a promise?” Sam asked with an incredulous look. Before Higgs could respond, Sam muttered, “You’re fucking feral. I swear.”

Higgs just went red, quickly downing his glass of water. However, it sputtered all over his front as Sam hit him with the dishrag.

“Ew, now who’s gross!?”

“It’s a dishrag Higgs.”

“Covered in your sweat!”

“You’re sweaty too.”

“Not with your sweat.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Sure it does.”

Sam hit him again.

“You want to go pipsqueak?”

“Don’t worry. I can kick you down to size.”

Higgs stood on the tips of his toes and leaned over Sam. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Oh you would huh? Let’s go. Round two. Right now.”

Higgs stuck out his tongue again. Sam leaned back. Higgs went back to grinning. “Would you look at that? Already won.”

“Won my ass.” Sam hooked a leg behind Higgs’, tripping him but also grabbing his shirt so he didn’t go crashing into the counter’s edge as he readjusted his own stance. Higgs quickly braised himself and Sam loosened his grip a little. “See?”

“Getting a little touchy feely huh, Mr. Aphenphosmphobia?”

“You’ve already used that joke. Find some new material. Same goes for pipsqueak.”

“Well stop calling me giraffe then! If anything, I’m more like a leopard.”

“Oh yeah. And I’m a bear,” Sam sarcastically replied.

“I mean, if we’re choosing random animals, I think bear fits you.”

“Wait. Really?”

“You are strong enough.”

“I am holding you up right now,” Sam agreed.

“Hey, don’t let that head of yours get too big. I’m still propping myself up—”

“Interrupting anything am I?”

Sam immediately let go and Higgs’ ass hit the floor hard.

“Ow!”

“You said you were propping yourself up!”

“Still, a little warning next time. Please,” groaned Higgs as he pushed himself up.

Higgs and Sam looked over to Cliff. However, his eyes were focused on the terminal, almost purposefully so as he said, “Alright, are you both ready to go to the distribution center?”

Both Sam and Higgs got their faces under control and jumped at the change of topic. “What for?” asked Higgs.

“I mentioned it yesterday,” Cliff replied.

Sam’s eyes went wide as the memory came back. “Wait, you meant that?”

“Yes. Unless if you both don’t think you’re read—”

“No!” They said it at the same time. Higgs straightened his back a bit. “We’re definitely ready.”

“Good, then we need to make sure you both have the proper gear. Hence the distribution center. We’ll leave tomorrow early in the morning for the actual deliveries. We should be able to get it all done within a day.”

With that, they made their way to the distribution center. Cliff had been trying to decide when the right time would come to actually make their first delivery. He’d of course discussed other possible futures and jobs. Sam and Higgs were just too restless though. Cliff was honestly lucky they hadn’t gotten into more trouble before then. Being porters certainly wasn’t the safest job, but it appealed to them both and Cliff certainly wasn’t going to tell them no. He supposed he should just be thankful that he could still look after them by working alongside them, and of course they would have each other’s back too.

Still, even with that knowledge Cliff had been putting this day off. He’d thought he needed to wait for the right time to come. However, he’d eventually realized there never would be a right time. He would always want to keep them safe. He suspected that feeling wouldn’t go away, even if he made it to an age where he could barely get up from a chair on his own. The need to protect them wouldn’t disappear.

With that in mind though, Cliff had chosen an arbitrary day to take them both on a delivery run. He just had to rip it off like a band-aid.

And for all intents and purposes, like with a band-aid, it wasn’t as painful as Cliff had feared.

He got them both fitted, though he again suspected that if Higgs kept growing his gear would need to be readjusted again. Then Cliff and the boys had gone home and eventually to bed. In the morning, they took a substantial amount, everyone carrying something as they went to nearly every prepper in their area.

It was a very different change of pace. Rather than the perfect silence, Cliff listened to Higgs’ rambling instead and Sam’s occasional, witty barbs as he led the way. Cliff didn’t’ mind it. If anything, there was something special about being able to share these moments with them.

That first delivery had been successful. Everything had been delivered, several packages had been taken back to Middle Knot, no BTs, no mules or terrorists besides one small scare. Cliff counted it as lucky, especially considering very few deliveries were so swift anymore.

The deliveries that followed were not as smooth. But thankfully Cliff had taught them well. When things grew serious, they both reacted immediately and always stuck together. Sam’s DOOMS abilities also came in handy considering the increase in BTs and helped to balance out how they only had one odradek. There were of course instances where things had gotten dicey, but no one had gotten harmed so far beyond a few bruises or scrapes from a tumble.

It wasn’t the life Cliff would have hoped his son to achieve, or Higgs either. However, they were happy and had each other too. Cliff supposed he should be thankful for that if nothing else.

With the passage of time, porters from farther places were more common now as routes had slowly been mapped out. Even after less than a year of working alongside him, Cliff had a feeling Sam and Higgs would want to start seeing other places. They would want to finally get to South Knot City, maybe even go to Lake Knot and beyond. They’d certainly gotten inklings of what those other places were like from the foreign porters, hearing their stories, seeing personal affects unique to their home.

One aspect that came into Middle Knot was less welcomed though. However, Cliff didn’t learn about it in person. He learned about it through his dreams.

Despite the confusing discussion on Amelie’s parentage, the following conversations had never come to touch on it again. Cliff suspected that it might have been Amelie’s doing. Either the conversations were kept too short for him to ask, or more important matters came up like discussions on the increasing amount of BTs, though unsurprisingly Amelie never gave clear answers to those either. The discussion now seemed to follow in the vein of important information as well.

They stood in the waves, Cliff already beside Amelie. She jumped right into it, possibly the fastest she had ever spoken.

“I’m sorry.”

The fact she was starting off with an apology was not very comforting. Before Cliff could even ask what for, she continued.

“They never stopped. And I know how much it must hurt you to hear this.”

“What didn’t stop?” murmured Cliff.

“You know in your heart.”

Cliff took a deep breath…

And he did.

It became difficult to swallow as Cliff turned away. He had to as he purposefully crossed his arms and shoved his hands under. He hadn’t thought on that part of his past in a while. It was largely because of Higgs, which wasn’t his fault in any sense. However, all of Cliff’s previous ideas on how to explain things to Sam had gone out the window with him suddenly raising two children rather than one.

He’d simply kept pushing it off. And considering how having Higgs around had seemed to help with Sam’s aversion to touch, one of Cliff’s major reasons for telling Sam had been lessened. Still, he probably should have told Sam sooner, though he couldn’t change that now.

“Why are you telling me? And why right now?” whispered Cliff. He remained staring at the water. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her yet.

“Because a porter from Bridges will be arriving at Middle Knot soon. He’ll be carrying a BB with him. I didn’t want it to be such a shock to you if you happened to interact.”

“How incredibly kind,” spit out Cliff. He didn’t try to hide his anger or disbelief.

“It is a kindness. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’m sorry—”

“No!” Cliff finally spun on her. “You do not get to keep telling me that. Not when you’re a part of all this.”

“I’m not a part of it. At least, I don’t sign the orders.”

“So? If you did, would that have changed anything? Would that have changed what happened to Sam?”

“Yes.”

“How. How the hell would it have changed?”

“I would have been honest with you. I would have given you a choice.”

Cliff wasn’t sure he believed that. Amelie and Bridget were different. That much Cliff knew. But it was only surface level evidence Cliff had for Amelie. She certainly seemed kinder. She seemed to have more of a soul, but so far Cliff hadn’t had any physical proof of that. Instead of trying to argue with her though, he simply asked, “Why? Why the hell would a porter have a BB?”

“The initial goal with the experiments fell through, but they can still serve an extraordinary function. For those with low level DOOMS abilities, or even none like yourself, a BB can allow them to see to the other side. It changes how we can deal with BTs. How we traverse through the areas they appear in. It can help us to reconnect.”

“And you think that gives you a right to do what you do?”

“No. Sacrifices have to be made for humanity, but I wish we could have—”

“Been more honest?” Cliff harshly guessed.

“Yes.”

He tiredly rubbed his face. “I don’t get you Amelie. Have I said that enough yet?”

“Probably not. I don’t always understand myself.”

Cliff resisted the urge to groan. He focused on her and walked closer. “You say you’re sorry, yet claim you have no part in this. You say we pull each other to this Beach, that it all originates from here, but you don’t fully understand it. You appear randomly to give advice or tell me bits of information, but so little of it I can even trust. And then even you as a person. We have been communicating for years and despite all of that, I feel I know even less about you since our first conversation. Take your age for example. I have no idea how old you are Amelie. I don’t know if you are the president’s daughter or if it’s something else. It’s almost as if you don’t even exist.”

“I know.”

“Oh you know? Do you? Because from where I’m standing, you’re holding all the cards.”

“I’m really not.”

“Then explain it to me. For once, just explain it,” Cliff responded.

“Can a leopard change its spots?”

Cliff closed his eyes. “You are really not making this any simpler. Are you?”

She urged him onwards. “Can it?”

“No,” he finally replied. “But spots are a physical trait that overall change nothing in the individual. What you are implying is that your nature can’t be changed, but the whole point of human consciousness is that nature is not predetermined by birth. It changes, it is influenced, and we ultimately have choices.”

“A human might. But do I?”

Cliff finally turned silent. He gave her a long, hard look. He took another step closer. “You’re not a BT if that’s what you’re implying.”

“Not in the sense of what you encounter, but I am beached. Beached to the other side.”

“I think that’s the only thing you’ve said so far that actually makes sense,” muttered Cliff. And to be fair it did. Considering she was stuck on the Beach like how BTs seemed to be stuck in their world, at least to Cliff’s knowledge.

“I wish I could tell you more. I wish I had all the answers,” whispered Amelie. “In trying to find them, we’ve done things I regret. It’s your right to not accept my apology. As apologies go, it is rather poor and long overdue. But I simply needed to say it today.”

Cliff had a feeling that the conversation was going to abruptly end again, so he quickly said, “At least explain this. Out of everything you’ve told me, you can’t be the president’s daughter. It doesn’t make sense.”

“For all intents and purposes, Amelie is the president’s daughter.”

“But who are you?”

At that, she smiled. She looked almost proud. “That’s the question. Isn’t it?”

And with that, Cliff woke with a start. He could still feel the water around his ankles even as he threw his legs over the bed and rested his head in his hands.

There was a lot to unpack in that conversation. But most of it he’d have to save for later. The primary thing was that BBs had continued, were now being used like they were standard fucking tools. And that finally forced Cliff to think on the conversation he’d been trying to plan for years but had ultimately put off time and time again.

How the hell was he going to explain it all to Sam?

With a tired sigh, Cliff got up. It was early enough that the boys were still in their room. He grabbed the shower first and then headed to the kitchen. It wasn’t long before they both joined him. Usually Sam was a bit more awake and Higgs was dragging his feet, but today they were both already dressed and were prepped to leave.

It took Cliff a moment, his mind still too focused on the dream and the BBs. “Right,” he slowly said. “You’re taking the twins out for something science related?”

Sam nodded. “We’ll probably put in some target practice while we’re at it.”

“We said we’d be back tonight.” Higgs paused, looking more closely at Cliff. “You remember us talking about that, right?”

“Yes, sorry. Just a long night.”

“Are you ok?” asked Sam. “Maybe you should put off those deliveries you were planning to take today.”

“I’ll be fine,” Cliff assured them. If anything, the isolation would at least give him more time to think. “Stay safe. Same goes for the twins. I should be back tonight, so I’ll see you then. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Sam and Higgs said in unison as they left their home.

Sam bit his bottom lip and glanced back as the door slid closed behind them. “Do you think maybe one of us should go with him?”

“He’ll be fine,” Higgs replied. “Besides, Målingen will be upset if one of us bails.”

“True,” chuckled Sam as his worries eased away.

They both hurried over to the twins’ place. Since beginning deliveries with Cliff, the lessons from before had pretty much stopped. However, Sam and Higgs had made sure to stop in to say hi to the twins at the very least. They were eleven now and their intelligence had only grown with age. Their parents trusted them a great deal with their own experiments and goals already, but like now it made sense to have someone escort them outside the city’s walls. They were still children and Sam and Higgs had jumped at the opportunity to help.

Once at their door, the twins appeared carrying enough to practically topple them over.

Sam couldn’t help but smile and quickly said, “We’ll help you with that,” before he and Higgs picked up everything for them.

“Thanks,” they said in unison.

“How was the last trip?” asked Lockne.

“Not too eventful,” explained Higgs. After the pack was situated, he leaned down and picked Lockne up so she could sit on his shoulders. Målingen took Sam’s hand as they started to walk away. “We did run into some mules though.”

“You’re ok?” Målingen asked.

“Standing right here. Aren’t we?” Higgs grinned. He could feel Lockne leaning forward and somewhat hugging him from her position.

“We still worry. You’re our favorite guys after all.”

“Ousted your dad huh?” chuckled Sam.

Målingen rolled her eyes. “Pfft. He’s not half as cool as you guys.”

“We’re honored.”

“So what happened?” asked Lockne.

“Higgs was being a moron.”

“I saved our hides, didn’t I?!”

“You could have gotten hurt! If you had just told me what you were planning on doing, I would have done it.”

“What? So you could get hurt instead? I’m not letting that happen.”

“So I’m supposed to just let you get hurt? I can’t allow that Higgs.”

“Ah, you’re both too sweet,” Målingen said as she leaned her head against Sam’s arm.

“No, Higgs just needs to think before he acts so he stays safe—”

Lockne interrupted before they could both start arguing about who should be taking the risks or not. “So what exactly happened?”

“We were about to get spotted by mules,” Sam said. “So Higgs here—”

“I saved the delivery,” Higgs defended. “I set down some of the smaller ones so Sam could grab them and so I’d be lighter. Then I took the mules on a wild goose chase away from Sam and Cliff.”

“I bet he wasn’t happy about that,” Målingen winced.

“Yeah, I kind of freaked him out,” admitted Higgs. “But it worked, and I managed to knock two of them out before meeting up with Cliff and Sam on the other side of the field.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Sam tried again.

“And I don’t—”

“Uh uh,” said Lockne. “You two are just going to talk in circles if we let you.”

“Can we all just accept neither of you wants the other to get hurt? And you’ll still do stupid shit to protect the other anyways?”

“Målingen!” cried Sam and Higgs.

“Where the hell did that kind of language come from?” asked Higgs.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Nice one.”

“What? Shit-I mean, you shouldn’t say that word.”

Lockne snorted. “You should have seen dad when she said it.”

“What?” defended Målingen. “They’re valid words of the English language that carry specific connotations and feelings and sometimes are the best or even only way to express how you feel or wish to describe a situation.”

“Is that what you told your dad?” asked Sam with a chuckle.

“Did it work?” asked Higgs.

“Yes and no.”

They all laughed at that. When they were outside the city, Higgs set Lockne back on the ground. The twins lead the way since they knew exactly where they wanted to go.

Sam and Higgs kept their eyes peeled, but it was incredibly rare to have any trouble this close to the city. For the moment, they didn’t encounter anything. Eventually they came to a small area with chiral crystals scattered around and stopped. It had been one of the random, unpredictable squalls that had come through and it was slightly disconcerting knowing BTs had formed this close to the city.

It made an idea pop into Sam’s head and he said, “Do you think BTs could ever form in the city?”

“If we didn’t have concrete on the ground, yeah,” Målingen replied.

“Why’s that?” asked Higgs.

“It’s man-made,” Lockne explained. “My guess is that to be connected to the other side, it has to be through natural means. It’s why we’ve had timefall go through the area but never seen chiral crystals form outside our doors either.”

“Would make since I guess,” said Higgs. “You need help?”

“We got it,” said Målingen. “Besides, do you even know what half of this stuff is?”

“Not a clue,” laughed Higgs. Sam nodded in agreement.

With that, the twins turned to prepping for whatever studies they had planned while Sam and Higgs set up for target practice. They sparred more often than not, both with just fists and sometimes practice weapons or objects. However, as Cliff had always said, it was good to stretch all abilities, even if they were better at one over another.

Higgs went first, and as he carefully fired in quick succession, Sam remained look out. They switched out, and besides the sound of rubber bullets and whatever the twins were doing, they mostly sat in silence. It felt good just hanging out with the twins and after a while, Lockne got up and stretched. She walked over and looked to the mountains in the far west.

She turned back to Sam and Higgs. “Have you ever been up there?”

“No. Dad hasn’t gone that far either.”

“The farthest was down south. Right?” asked Målingen.

“To the city there, yeah,” Higgs said.

“I’d like to go there,” Målingen murmured. “I remember Cliff brought back some cool things for mom and dad. I’d love to see what else they’ve successfully produced down there.”

“I’d like to go to the mountains,” murmured Lockne. “They always look so beautiful.”

“Uh oh,” teased Sam. “This where the twins split up?”

They both quickly shook their heads. “Never,” Målingen said. Lockne added, “We’ll just have to visit both.”

Higgs smiled. He looked out towards the mountains and murmured, “I wonder if anything is way out west. On what used to be the west coast.”

“If we were connected, we could know,” murmured Sam. “But that’s just never gonna happen.”

“Never?” asked Lockne. “You really think that?”

“I mean, the world is fucked. Has been for a long time.”

Målingen pouted. “What happened to no bad language?”

“Hey, do as I say, not as I do,” retorted Sam.

The twins rolled their eyes. Lockne said, “Things could change though. Maybe we could use chiral matter to somehow make a lasting connection.”

“Anything physical would degrade though,” Sam murmured.

“And that stuff is toxic as hell,” Higgs added. “No way we could build something completely out of it. Or if we did, we would probably damage the land. And the upkeep of something like that would be near impossible.”

“True,” sighed Målingen. However, she quickly cheered up and said with a sly look, “But if anyone has a chance of figuring it out…”

“Fair enough,” chuckled Sam. “It would be you two to solve it.”

“Thank you for the confidence boost,” smiled Lockne.

Higgs just grinned. “Like you need it.”

With that, they ended their short break and went back to their own things. The day wore on for a bit. They had one more break so they could eat a small lunch. Then the twins finally packed up when the sun dipped a little lower and Sam asked, “All done?”

“For now. I wish we could go elsewhere. It would be better to have as many samples as possible,” mumbled Målingen.

“One day when you’re older,” replied Higgs. “Maybe we could even take you.”

“Like one giant family road trip!” Lockne excitedly said.

“Yeah, like that,” Sam said. “Just remember, it’s your parents who actually decide when or if that happens.”

“Until we’re adults like you,” said Målingen.

“We’re not quite there,” chuckled Higgs. “Trust me.”

At that point, several beeps were heard and their hoods pulled up.

“Almost perfect timing,” sighed Sam. “Come on.”

As they started to head back with the timefall spattering against their backs, they spotted a group of porters arriving from a different direction. The group waved and they waved back. They managed to arrive at the entrance to the city at about the same time. One of them spoke up with a teasing smile.

“I think this is the first time we’ve seen kids as part of an order.”

The twins laughed as Higgs quickly said, “No, we live here.”

“We were escorting them,” Sam explained.

“For some experiments,” Lockne said.

“Experiments huh? How cute.”

Målingen made a pouting face but before either twin could prove their intelligence, one of the other porters turned their way. He’d previously been checking on one of his friend’s packages but now they could all see what was on his chest. They jumped, and the main one they’d been talking to chuckled.

“Haven’t seen a BB before huh?”

They all shook their heads. Sam leaned forward. “A…BB?”

“Yeah. You can thank the UCA for it. Gives us non-DOOMS users a chance against those BTs.”

“You can get close if you want,” said the one that had it hooked up to his chest. “They’re useful as hell but not a lot out there. I doubt you’ll see another one any time soon.”

The kids crowded around. Sam especially got close. His brow furrowed as he looked at the little baby do a flip in the pod. Sam just barely touched the glass. The baby’s palm met his and Sam immediately flinched away. The others seemed to find that funny, one even commenting that it didn’t bite. Higgs just shot a worried look Sam’s way.

“Does the kid have a name?” asked Lockne.

“It’s not a kid sweetheart. Not like you. Just a tool.”

The twins frowned at that

“But it’s still a baby. Right?” tried Higgs.

“Not really. We use it for about a year, then switch it out for a new one if it’s available.”

“But what happens to that one then?” asked Sam.

“What you do with all broken equipment. Gets thrown out.” Before anyone could respond to that, the man glanced up and added, “Looks like this timefall is only getting worse. We better get these packages delivered before they get damaged. Nice meeting you kids.”

“Yeah,” Higgs murmured. The others didn’t say anything as the porters went on ahead. After a moment, they all slowly followed. Higgs reached out to Sam, but Sam suddenly slapped his hand away. Higgs jumped at the contact and bowed his head. “Shit, sorry. I just—”

“No, it’s ok Higgs. I…” Sam trailed off as he frowned at the ground.

“Are you ok?” asked Målingen. The twins had stopped, both intently staring at them.

“Fine. I’m fine,” Sam murmured. He shook his head and then forced a smile. “Let’s hurry up and get you two home. Yeah?”

“Can you stay for dinner?” asked Lockne.

“I don’t see why not,” replied Higgs. “And maybe you can try and explain what the hell you two were doing out there.”

The twins grinned, excited at the idea of going through their experiment and successfully distracted from what had just occurred. “Yes!” they excitedly cried. And with that, the twins quickly ran ahead and lead the way. Sam walked more slowly, head down and brow still furrowed. Higgs wanted to reach out, and normally such a small interaction didn’t bother Sam anymore. But he didn’t want to risk upsetting him after how violently he’d just flinched away.

Despite how Sam had seemed stuck in his own head, he eventually noticed Higgs’ own inner conflict. Sam showed a sad smile and tapped him on the shoulder. It was a gesture they didn’t use as much anymore, but one that was still familiar. Higgs slowly took Sam’s pinky and squeezed it. “You sure you’re ok?” he whispered.

Since the twins were far enough ahead, Sam was honest this time. “I…don’t know.”

“We can bail on dinner. Just go home.”

“No, I’ll…figure it out later. I’d rather be around them right now,” Sam murmured.

“As long as that’s what you want,” Higgs replied. He squeezed Sam’s pinky once more, this time holding on and only letting go once they arrived at the twins’ home.


	12. A Bridge to a Pod

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Higgs sat in his bed, scribbling away in his journal. He’d kept up the hobby, still enjoying the chance to write his thoughts down even if he didn’t think of it as a place of escape like before. The one that he’d originally brought with him from the bunker he kept underneath his bed. It sat in the back corner, gathering dust and full with entries.

He hadn’t been able to throw it away quite yet. If Sam wasn’t around, he would occasionally pull it out and look back again. He knew it wasn’t healthy, but he couldn’t let go of the last thing he had from his father figure. Even after everything, he didn’t hate him. He probably should have. But despite everything, he’d been the one to take care of Higgs for almost thirteen years of his life. He’d done a fucking shit job and it was good Higgs could recognize that now, but still…

At the moment though, he was recording what had happened earlier in one of the newer journals.

_I just don’t understand it. It was still a baby. Right? What about the kid’s parents? Did they know? How can anyone be ok with that?_

Higgs finished on the dot of the question mark, pressing the pencil lead hard into the paper. He went back and forth, not really thinking on the motion. The lead broke through and tore the paper slightly. Higgs let out a small sigh.

“You ok?”

He looked up to see Sam slouched down in his own bed with a book in hand.

“Me? Are you ok?”

Sam bit his bottom lip.

“You don’t have to explain it to me. But I’m here if you want to.”

“It’s not that,” murmured Sam. “It’s not something I can just…explain.”

“But something happened.”

“I felt something. I don’t know. Like a memory.”

“What kind of memory?”

“I don’t know,” Sam repeated. “Old…like dreams I had when I was really little maybe? It’s hard to remember them now, but it sometimes made it difficult to get to sleep. Back then. Not that I actually remember that. I just know about it from what my dad occasionally told me.”

Higgs rolled over slightly. “Is there anything you can recall? Or is it just a feeling?”

“Dad. I remember him. At least I’m pretty sure. But…” Sam trailed off. He checked the time. It seemed he didn’t plan on carrying the conversation any further for now as he said, “I guess dad will be getting back later tonight.” Sam closed his book and tossed it to the side. At the same time, Higgs wrote one final line, and then snapped his journal shut and set it down too. He took Sam’s unspoken suggestion. It was late after all. Higgs was closer so he turned off the light.

“Night Sam.”

“Good night.”

They both fell asleep pretty quickly. Higgs managed to find some peace, but Sam not as much.

Sam didn’t dream at first, but then pricks of light started to filter through the darkness. His hand reached out, trying to figure out where the source was coming from—bang! His hand hit glass. His other hand quickly came up, slamming against the solid wall as liquid filled the space. He felt like he was drowning. It slipped down the back of his throat, covered his nose and eyes. He tried to go up, but he was trapped as his hands came into contact with the glass again. Down! Maybe he could escape there. But upon looking, all he saw were small, underdeveloped limbs and a chord.

He tried to yell but the liquid muffled his voice. He was panicking. He needed out. He wanted out! He had to get—

The glass cracked once.

Twice.

Then with a resounding roar, Sam crashed through it, hair wet and falling in front of his eyes. He looked down at the gray sand underneath him. His eyes quickly focused on his hands again, but they looked just as they should. He took a deep breath, but no water rushed in. He was ok. For now.

He looked up. He first identified it as the Beach. Then his eyes spotted his dad. He was looking around like he was expecting someone to be there. Maybe that woman in red from before? Sam had never asked about her again, figuring what happened on his dad’s Beach was private and his own. He’d never found his dad’s Beach again either. Even on the long trip down to South Knot, Sam hadn’t felt a need to search his dad out. He had trusted he was alright and by that point, Higgs and Sam were on perfect terms so no need for advice.

But the dream just now, he’d been panicking even with how short it was. He’d forgotten it was a dream and all he’d wanted was to see his dad. And this…this wasn’t his dad’s Beach, or at least the Beach they had previously met on if it had been the woman’s. This was his own. Meaning Sam had probably pulled him here. It didn’t actually look different, at least as far as Sam could tell. But it felt different. It was definitely his own.

Sam’s limbs shook as he carefully stood up. “Dad—”

Cliff turned around in an instant. The moment Cliff’s arms wrapped around him, he could feel himself almost falling against him, barely able to hold himself up anymore.

For a moment, neither said anything. Sam could feel his dad supporting him, his fingers tangled up in his hair. Sam took in several deep breaths. His heart slowly calmed. He looked up and Cliff carefully held his face. He looked Sam over, just making sure he was alright. And Sam was ok. He was safe here.

“I’m home. Right now. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you before going to bed,” Cliff murmured.

“It’s ok,” Sam said. His voice didn’t shake as much as he had expected. At least that was a good thing. Now that the blinding panic was gone, Sam mostly felt confused and the fear had slipped away. “I just…I had a bad dream. And I…I don’t know.” Sam turned quiet for a moment, and then murmured, “I was fine today. But then I saw this…thing or whatever. It looked like a kid, but the guy said it was a tool. He called it a BB and…I don’t know. I just felt off…”

Sam’s voice dropped away before he finally looked up again. The look his dad was giving him simultaneously confused Sam further and broke his heart all in one go.

“What?”

“I was hoping I’d at least have a bit more time to prepare what I would say, but…you deserve to know.”

“Know what?”

“Something I should have told you long ago but just didn’t have the heart to,” whispered Cliff. “But not here.”

Right, Sam could kind of understand that. “Ok. I’ll see you in a moment.”

Sam quickly hugged his dad again before waking up with a start. He glanced over, but as far as he could tell Higgs was still fast asleep. Sam rubbed his face and checked the time. It was early in the morning. He wondered if his dad had only recently gotten back or if they’d both managed to sleep a little before meeting on the Beach. Sam slowly dropped his feet on the ground, moving extra careful so as not to wake Higgs.

He gently closed their door behind him. He saw his dad’s door was already ajar and quickly changed course for the kitchen.

Cliff was sitting there, head already in his hands as Sam approached. Despite there being no words, Sam could follow well enough. His dad had reacted to hearing the word BB. He’d said he needed to tell him something he should have long ago. The pieces were falling into place. Sam sat next to his dad and waited for him to speak first. He wasn’t quite sure how he would start, but he was still surprised by the first words his dad said.

“I need to tell you about what happened to your mother.”

“And that…has to do with the BB?”

“And you. And I suspect your bad dream, and all the bad dreams you grew out of when you were little,” sighed Cliff. His voice shook slightly. The only time Sam could remember him looking just as sad was when he’d been trying to explain Higgs’ abuse to Sam at an early age. Was what he about to say as bad as that? Cliff took a deep breath. “I honestly don’t know how you’ll take this. I just ask that you let me get to the end before you say anything.”

“Ok,” Sam murmured. He folded his hands on top of the table and waited. He kept his eyes down too, feeling that it might make it easier for his dad to speak freely.

And he did. Neither looked at each other. Sam didn’t say a thing. He just sat and waited through every crack in his dad’s voice, every bout of pain and anger and regret. Despite the tells in his voice, Cliff mostly spoke about it factually, like he was handing in a report to his superior. Sam wondered if that made it easier even with how his voice broke. Through it all, Sam listened, right until the very end.

His dad’s final words were, “I killed Lisa. I killed your mother twice. The day I agreed to her going into that thing, and the day I had to save you.”

Sam picked at some dirt under his fingernail. His brow furrowed, lips slightly parted. He glanced up to see his dad’s head in his hands once more. Maybe he’d never really moved from that position.

It was a lot to take in. Nearly an hour had passed but it was still incredibly early. Sam doubted the sun had even peaked over the horizon yet.

He started with the simplest thought. “So, they were memories.”

“Dreams based on memories at the very least. Yes.”

His dad still didn’t look up.

And Sam…he hadn’t even realized they’d been running from anything. His dad had always made it sound like a choice. Like it had been the hand they’d been dealt with and like everybody else in the world, they had just tried to make the most of it. He’d never known that they’d ended up in that town for a reason.

He looked up and finally stopped messing with his fingernail. He reached across the table, but his dad still had his face in his hands.

“You…didn’t kill mom,” Sam whispered.

“I did Sam. And I am so sorry for what happened to you—”

“Hey, you asked me to wait until the end. Just…give me a second too.” Sam waited until his dad dropped his hands to look at him. Then he took one of his hands and squeezed. “You’ve been taking care of me for years. And you’ve been the best dad any kid could ask for. I…I know you couldn’t have known. And I’m sorry for what happened with mom.”

“No. No, I should be apologizing to you. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know. I should have done something sooner. Anything. What I did to you and your mother—”

“I don’t know about you dad,” whispered Sam, “but from where I’m sitting, you saved me. That’s all you did.”

Cliff put his other hand on top of Sam’s. He closed his eyes and the tears slowly fell.

Sam bowed his head a little. His thoughts seemed to be bouncing back and forth, crashing into each other and just trying to organize themselves. It was shocking. Of course it was. Some things that Sam had always accepted as just being the way things were had suddenly come to light. Like his fear of being touched? That might have been from all this. Sam also knew other people were just born with DOOMS, but maybe being a connection to the other side had increased his chances of having it beyond normal odds. And then those dreams early on…it had always been connected.

However, the thought that finally managed to become louder than the rest centered around his dad. Despite how his dad had explained everything and even now still hung his head in shame, Sam just couldn’t believe it. The idea that his dad had done this with any real intent was just too alien a concept to him. Cliff had saved Higgs from an abusive home. No way would he have done all this to Sam if he had known the truth.

But knowing that didn’t immediately erase all the guilt. And his dad must have been carrying that guilt since the beginning. Sam had always known he wasn’t a fan of the UCA or Bridges. He’d known that he had a reason for being a solo porter rather than partnering with anyone. Now Sam understood that reason.

He didn’t have a strong connection to his mother, to Lisa. Sam wished he had, but he honestly wouldn’t even remember her if not for his dad’s stories. But to pull the trigger on the one you loved? The one you’d chosen to spend your life with? Sam refused to think of it as his dad killing her. Technically, yes, but his dad had been forced into a horrible position. He shouldn’t be blamed for it and Sam wished his dad didn’t blame himself.

“I know,” whispered Sam, “you would have saved her. If you’d had the chance. And…and I never knew her. Not really. But from the stories you told me, I bet she would have told you to do anything to get me out of there. And she definitely never would have blamed you either.”

The tears on his dad’s face came just a little harder. Sam removed his hands, but only so he could move around the table and wrap his arms around his dad. Cliff shifted so he could return the hug after only a moment of hesitation.

“I mean it dad. I…I know I can’t make you not feel the way you do. But even after hearing everything, I don’t blame you. I really don’t. I want you to know that,” Sam softly said.

They held each other for a long time in the early morning. Before Cliff fully pulled back, he wiped at his face and then looked up at Sam.

“I’m still sorry. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“You told me eventually. That’s all that matters to me really.”

Cliff held Sam’s face. For a moment he just looked at him. It almost felt like he was looking at Lisa, identifying the features that were undeniably hers and not his own. He murmured, “When did you get so kind and wise?”

“Don’t really know. But you raised me so…”

That at least managed to get a small smile from Cliff. He stood up and kissed Sam on top of the head. “And I am so proud of the young man you are becoming.” They hugged again and Cliff murmured, “Thank you for listening to me Sam.”

“Don’t have to thank me for that,” Sam said with one final squeeze before they parted.

Cliff let out a small sigh and said, “I’m sorry I kept you up at such an early hour to say all this. Try and get some rest before the sun finally rises.”

Sam nodded, shooting his dad one more sad smile before silently heading back to his room. He managed to get in bed without waking Higgs. Sam tried to rest a little, but he was simultaneously wired and exhausted. He glanced to Higgs again and for the first time in a long time, Sam felt uncertain regarding him. It was Sam’s own private past, but still. What would Higgs think if he was told? Or simply found out?

A part of Sam wanted to wake him now and talk to him. Another part wished to put it all behind him. Still another part wanted to slip in next to Higgs right now just to feel the warmth between them.

All those thoughts and more bounced around in Sam’s head. They kept his mind awake, even as his eyes were trying to encourage him to close them at the same time.

His eyes must have won because eventually it was Higgs’ voice that woke him up again.

“Sam?”

With a long yawn, Sam pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes. He was pretty sure Higgs had said his name a few times.

“This is a first,” Higgs said in comment to Sam waking up second. Instead of making a joke out of it though, he just said, “You ok?”

“Yeah…” Sam hesitated.

He reminded himself that he really didn’t have to tell Higgs. But considering all they’d been through, not just as a family but him and Higgs specifically, it felt wrong not to say something. And he could tell Higgs was already worried again like yesterday. He needed some kind of explanation. Sam tried to think of how to say it or when. He finally fell on, “Want to do a few orders today? Just us two with some of the preppers around?”

“Sure.” It was clear Higgs was still curious and worried, but he didn’t push for now.

Sam finally got up. He didn’t bother with a shower and decided to go straight to changing into his gear. Higgs did the same and Sam led the way up front. His dad was still there. He wondered if he’d even gone to sleep.

“We’re going to do some orders. Just close, local ones,” Sam said.

He watched his dad give him a careful look.

“Don’t worry. Higgs is coming too. I just…need a moment. We promise to be back by the end of the day.” Sam could understand his dad’s concern. After being told what he had, his dad just didn’t want him to do anything rash. Despite how Sam was just trying to reassure his dad though, his words and his dad’s expression had clearly confused and worried Higgs more. Sam would have to tell him something. But despite Higgs’ own frown, he didn’t force anyone to say anything.

“Alright. Be careful,” Cliff said. “Watch out for each other.”

“Always,” Sam said.

“And one of you take the odradek. I won’t need it today.”

Higgs silently nodded. He hadn’t said so little in a morning for a while now. He knew something was off. Higgs bowed his head a little and stayed still as Sam went to go get the odradek. Once it was hooked up, Sam led the way. They walked to the distribution center. Sam picked out the orders and then they both loaded up.

Still, Higgs didn’t say a thing.

Sam wanted to alleviate any concern in Higgs, but he still didn’t know exactly what words to use yet. They started their journey to their first recipient.

Higgs had of course been silent on deliveries when BTs appeared or human enemies were around. However, this was the first one where he didn’t say a single word. Not a joke. Not a complaint. Nothing.

They made it to their first destination without any hiccups. Sam talked to the prepper, put the order in, and then led the way out of the shelter. She hadn’t had anything she wanted to send out, so they just went to the next one.

Usually there were mules out in the next area, but as the timefall started to come down, they both knew they wouldn’t have to worry about them. They managed to walk without interruption for a while until Sam felt the familiar chill. He crouched down and Higgs immediately followed his lead.

They went closer to the mule base than usual, managing to cut their travel time down despite being forced to move slower. They were close enough to even see into some of the tents, but the mules thankfully hid in their little encampment as usual. There was one moment when the chiral crystals became more abundant though. Sam felt the simple chill increase tenfold. He held his breath when he felt them drawing particularly near. If Higgs couldn’t see his reaction, he always reached over to grab Higgs’ arm so he knew when to hold his breath too.

One particular patch seemed to be riddled with them. Sam’s lungs started to burn, and he could tell Higgs was going to have to gasp for air pretty soon too. Sam shot him a look.

Just a little longer. Just a few more steps…

The feeling started to wane, but Sam waited until they put just a little extra distance between them. Only then did Sam drop his hand and Higgs quickly did too. They both got their breathing under control before moving out again. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before the feeling completely disappeared, and Sam could tell it was safe to stand again.

A few minutes later, the timefall fell away and their hoods fell back.

Still Higgs didn’t say anything, just let out a relieved sigh.

He was waiting for Sam to speak first, and Sam would eventually have to. His words were still stuck in his throat though, thoughts bouncing around in his head. They didn’t even talk when they paused to eat, Higgs just keeping his head down the entire time. After they finished eating, they readjusted their packs and finished their journey to the second prepper. They traded their order for a new one that was to be sent back to Middle Knot. Then they headed to their last delivery. There, they got another order for the second prepper. They back tracked to him, and then finally started to head back home.

Since it was no longer raining, they made sure to take a wide birth around the mules’ territory. The order they had with them wasn’t time sensitive after all, and they still had plenty of daylight left.

Sam mostly followed a familiar path back to Middle Knot. However, upon seeing a dried-up ravine and a rocky overhang, he changed course. Higgs didn’t question it, and soon they were sitting beneath it as they took a breather.

As Higgs’ eyes started to roam the landscape, simply keeping an eye out, Sam closed his. Perhaps there was no great way to explain this. His dad after all hadn’t gotten a chance to choose the right words before he explained everything to Sam. There probably were no such thing as right words in a situation like this.

So, Sam just said it. Head cocked upwards and eyes still closed.

“I was a BB.”

Higgs reacted instantly. “A wh-are you serious?”

Sam finally opened his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Is that-phew!” Higgs’ shoulders immediately relaxed, and he slouched back. “It’s only that.”

“Only that!” exclaimed Sam. “I-I just told you that I was part of a government experiment before I could even speak and you’re relieved?”

“Sorry,” Higgs quickly said as he immediately looked guilty. His voice softened. “I was just worried about you and you said _were_ a BB so I just assumed that you weren’t in any danger now. Is…is there anything I should still be worried about?”

“Not that I know of,” Sam quickly said. “I’m just sorry I made you worry at all. But aren’t you at least a little shocked?”

“I mean…I guess. I’m assuming things didn’t go according to plan since you’re here.”

Sam snorted. “You could say that. My dad broke me out. In more ways than one really.”

“Against the UCA? All by himself?”

“He had help from an old friend, but yeah, basically just them. He…he could have easily died. Both of us. He got shot before they got out. I know that.”

“Fuck,” muttered Higgs. “And your mom?”

“She was pretty much brain dead. She didn’t have a choice in anything, and dad was just desperate to help her. To help me. So he agreed.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah, he still blames himself.”

“But he didn’t know. Not what they were really trying to do. Right?”

Sam nodded.

“That’s good.” Higgs turned silent. He seemed content with the questions that had been answered. Sam gave him an odd look, half expecting him to want to know more. Higgs just slowly responded, “Should I be saying something else?”

“I guess not. I just…I don’t know. I was worried that it might change how you viewed me.”

“How? If anything, it changes how I think of the remnants of the government. I can’t believe people experimented on kids. Also makes a hell of a lot more sense why Cliff never wanted to work for Bridges or the UCA or anything. But man, I thought it was messed up how that guy talked about the BB. This is just more proof.”

“So you don’t think of me any differently?” Sam hesitantly asked.

“No. I mean, I don’t exactly know how my own birth went so…”

“I doubt it was within a pod Higgs,” Sam sarcastically said.

“Well yeah. But I mean, even if I learned exactly how it had gone, it wouldn’t change anything today. And hey, at least you know your parents fought for you. Your dad went so far he took a bullet.”

“Higgs…”

“Sorry! Not about me right now. I’m just trying to say it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change you. It doesn’t change us. Unless if there’s a chance you’re going to grow a second head.”

Sam rolled his eyes hard. “I’ll keep an eye out, but I think I’m good.”

Higgs laughed and the air around them slowly cleared. They both relaxed, though Higgs had to ask, “Why were you worried?”

“Like I said. I just thought it might change how you saw me.”

“And that…matters?”

“Yeah Higgs. You matter a lot to me. I had hoped you would know that by now.”

“Well yeah. I know you and Cliff care.”

“I mean more than just that. And definitely different from my dad.”

Higgs blushed lightly, but automatically turned as Sam leaned in. His lips pressed against Higgs’ and they stayed there for a second underneath the rock. Higgs was the one who actually pulled back first, though Sam just looked at him curiously.

“I-I didn’t want to push,” Higgs quickly said. “Like yesterday?”

“You weren’t pushing. Seeing the BB just set me off with…feelings and thoughts that I was trying to figure out. It threw me off. Is still really weird. But…yeah. You’re right. It doesn’t really change anything.”

“You’re still you,” Higgs agreed.

“Thanks Higgs.” With that, Sam moved forward again. This time Higgs followed Sam’s lead. He didn’t move away until he could feel Sam moving back too.

“We should probably get back before Cliff starts to worry too much,” Higgs sighed.

“Yeah. Any later and we’ll be trying to beat the sunset.”

Sam pushed himself up. He checked Higgs’ back and then he checked Sam’s. Since they didn’t have much, they managed to get back on the move quickly. Their usual back and forth started up and the awkward silence from before completely left them. It didn’t rain again, and they arrived at the distribution center without trouble and packages in perfect shape.

Once they got home, Sam and Higgs immediately raided the kitchen since they’d skipped out on breakfast. They were eating when Cliff came home.

“There you are. I was wondering when you’d get back,” Cliff said, clear relief falling on his shoulders.

“We didn’t mean to take too long,” Higgs quickly said.

Sam went ahead and just said, “I wanted to tell him. Just had to figure out how.” Not that Sam could think of a moment where this would need to be brought up again, but it was still better to make it clear that they all knew. They were a family after all. No need for secrets between any of them.

“I understand,” Cliff replied, his voice softening a little though he didn’t look nearly as heartbroken as he had during the early morning. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“Not that much. If I really think about it. Like Higgs said, I’m still me.”

“That you are,” Cliff replied as he pulled Sam into a hug. He shot Higgs a kind smile at the same time. Higgs just nodded, hoping Cliff knew that he’d meant it.

Since Sam was no longer in shock and his dad seemed to be in a better place, when Sam pulled back he said, “Can I ask you some things?”

“Of course,” Cliff said. He sat down and Sam and Higgs quickly followed.

“The porter from before said they were using the BBs to connect to the other side. Is that…is that what they were trying to accomplish with me?”

“I honestly don’t know. From what I can tell, their intentions have somewhat change over time, but they never stopped the experiments and it has always been with the goal to better understand the Beach.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” asked Higgs. “It feels wrong that there are kids forced to just be a connector and they don’t even get a life after it. At least that’s what the porter also said.”

“It’s kind of you to want to do something,” Cliff murmured. “But even in the world we now live in, we can’t simply infiltrate the UCA and stop all of this from going on. And the chances that every child would survive are low.”

“So I really could have died?” murmured Sam. Again, it really didn’t change anything now, but it was still an odd feeling.

Cliff warmly held Sam’s cheek. “It was a possibility, but I had no other choice. I am just thankful every day that it worked and you’re here.”

Sam returned the small smile, even as he asked, “So we can’t do anything?”

“I’m afraid not. Hopefully, a day comes where experiments with BBs are no longer conducted. But I know that’s not what either of you want to hear. If I could help every single one, I would. But I realized long ago that I couldn’t just go about risking my life anymore. I still have you both to look out for.”

Cliff then reached across the table, making sure to hold Higgs’ hand too. They sat there for a moment, just taking it all in.

Then Cliff added, “I’m sorry I can’t tell either of you more. All other secrets lie with the UCA and Bridges.”

They both nodded in understanding. They sat a moment more as there was no easy way to really segue into a different conversation. However, Cliff spotted all the food they’d been eating before he’d walked in. A small, less bittersweet smile appeared on his lips and he said, “I take it I don’t have to worry about dinner then?”

“What? No,” Higgs quickly said.

“I can still eat,” Sam replied.

“What do you mean you can?” asked Higgs. “You don’t need it to grow.”

“I’m still growing!”

“Sorry to break this to you, but you leveled out like a year ago.”

“I did not damn it!”

“Just keep dreaming pipsqueak.”

“You said you’d get new material,” groaned Sam.

“But it just fits you so well.”

“Like hell it does! I am average height.”

“Around who? The twins?”

“You…”

Higgs and Sam really got into it, though their arguing also successfully changed the topic and ended the serious air that had been hanging around all of them. For Cliff, it was hard not to smile as he watched them go back and forth. Sam was lucky to have Higgs, and Cliff was lucky to have them both.


	13. A Bridge to a Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's a fluffy sweet chapter before shit starts to hit the fan again. Enjoy!

Growing up could be awkward and weird enough on its own. It was even more so since Higgs shared his room with Sam. They of course had gotten some biology lessons with the twins before they’d regularly started delivering so it wasn’t like Higgs had been completely in the dark while growing up. However, it was still different reading about it and then experiencing puberty in general.

At first, Higgs just felt even more awkward since Sam didn’t seem to be as embarrassed or as bothered as him. It made Higgs not want to speak up about anything. If Sam wasn’t embarrassed, then maybe Higgs shouldn’t be embarrassed either. And talking to Cliff about it? The man had done so much for him, but talking about private stuff like that just sent Higgs’ face into a bright fever at the very thought.

Because of that, it wasn’t Higgs who broached the subject first. It was Sam.

The first time was when they’d been younger, fifteen and fourteen. Sam had sat down with a raised eyebrow after Higgs had purposefully pulled his legs in and wrapped his arms around them.

“Again?”

The fact that Sam had apparently been noticing just sent Higgs into an even deeper shade of red. He just barely got out a small squeak. “Sorry.”

“Why? It’s natural.”

“Yeah, but you never seem bothered by it.” Of course, Higgs had gotten used to talking by that point, but neither Sam or Higgs had exactly cemented their more boisterous teasing nature yet and Higgs still had about another year before he was fully out of his shell.

Sam had just shrugged. “I don’t know. It just doesn’t bother me.”

“Don’t you like…feel anything though?”

“Like the biological responses?”

“Like…just feelings?”

Sam had shrugged again. “Annoyance. Still mostly indifference. Why? What about you?”

Instead of responding, Higgs had just looked down. A little irritation at not being able to control everything had certainly been there, but there had also been something else. It was something that clearly Sam wasn’t experiencing and made Higgs just more certain that he was probably feeling it all wrong.

However, at least by that point Higgs knew Sam was anything but judgmental. He felt like he could answer without fear as Sam had simply asked, “What is it? I’m curious.”

“Just…you never like…I don’t know. Felt a warmth in the pit of your stomach? Felt your hair stand on end?”

“I’ve felt the second one.”

“I mean like in a good way.”

Sam had snorted. “No.”

“Oh.”

Sam’s face had immediately softened. “Sorry. But just because I feel things a little differently doesn’t mean how you feel them is wrong.”

Higgs had just shyly looked down, at the time not quite sure if he believed him or not.

However, at least with Sam opening up the door for discussion, Higgs had no longer exclusively kept his thoughts to himself. He still didn’t feel completely comfortable talking to Cliff about growing up, and learning from the twins’ parents versus asking them specific questions were two very different things. But it felt a little easier just talking to Sam, getting his perspective.

Over the many months, Higgs learned that just because they had different views and feelings towards things like it, it didn’t mean one of them had to be wrong. Still, there was a part of Higgs that had wondered if Sam’s opinions would change. He was only a few months younger than Higgs. Maybe that was why Sam was so indifferent?

But no. If anything, Sam just got more disinterested with the whole idea and Higgs definitely got a lot more interested. Still, Higgs managed not to feel so subconscious thanks to the fact that he and Sam could at least talk about it.

How they talked about it and their expression of it of course changed as they gradually got older. On Higgs’ seventeenth birthday, he and Sam had gone out to the ruins. It was part of their tradition, especially since it was the closest they could safely get to the outside world. By that point they’d begun training, but still hadn’t gone on their first assignment with Cliff yet.

They’d started on other topics but had somehow gotten to the topic of relationships of that kind of nature and Sam had asked, “Ok. Hypothetically then, what would you want for this birthday?”

Higgs had blushed.

“Ok, you have to tell me now. How raunchy is it?”

“It’s not raunchy,” Higgs had grumbled. “If anything, you’ll think it’s cheesy. Like in one of those movies that Lockne loves so much.”

“Well what is it?”

“You’ll laugh.”

“I promise I won’t.”

Higgs had slowly let out a shaky breath. “Really?”

“Cross my heart.”

“Well…put on your best poker face,” Higgs had sarcastically said. He’d ducked his head and mumbled it under his breath.

“I don’t think I caught that.”

Higgs had repeated it again, all in one breath with the words melting together.

“Ok, you are going to have to—”

“I said a kiss.”

A noise had escaped the back of Sam’s throat. Higgs had shot him a glare.

“You said you wouldn’t—”

“That wasn’t a laugh.”

“It was close enough!”

“Not a laugh. Uh uh. Nope.”

Higgs had covered his face in embarrassment. However, despite it all, he hadn’t been able to fight the smile that peaked at the corners of his lips in response to Sam’s face.

Sam had fondly smiled back. “You’re so gross.”

“You just think the very idea is gross!” Higgs had retorted. “I think it’s sweet.”

“Sure.”

“I’m serious. It just…I don’t know. Reading old books and seeing old movies, I feel like I missed out on that whole first kiss moment. Not that our world is even close to what the world used to be but…” Higgs hadn’t been able to keep the slightly sad look off his face as he’d trailed away at the thought. Just the idea of being that close to someone had made that warmth in the pit of his stomach that had never gone away just grow larger.

“I mean, I didn’t get you anything super special this year. So…”

Later, Sam and Higgs could look back at that moment and erupt into laughter. In that instant though, Higgs had felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to his subconscious, knocking him back into reality. “Uh b-b-u a-u-a n-o-w a what?”

Sam had resisted the urge to laugh and simply said, “If you really want a first kiss that bad, I could give you one.”

“Y-y-o y-a w-o-w-h—” Higgs had just stopped, getting too tongue tied again.

“I mean, technically it would be my first kiss too. But clearly this is something that’s important to you, so I don’t mind. For me, it’s just a Tuesday.”

Higgs had made a face. He’d managed to string together a coherent thought and had muttered, “Glad to know you getting my hypothetical first kiss is just a Tuesday to you.”

“I mean, it would still be a memorable Tuesday. I’d at least be able to recall the day for a few weeks.”

That at least had gotten them both laughing. Higgs had shoved Sam and Sam had playfully shoved back. Higgs had managed to feel a little less awkward and the inability to form a sentence hadn’t returned as Sam had added, “Seriously though. If you want…”

“You mean that?”

“I mean, who else is there around to give you it?”

“Well there is your dad—”

“Oh now who’s the gross one!”

“I had to!” Higgs had laughed as he avoided the small rock thrown his way. “If only to make you feel as embarrassed as I just did.”

“Well mission accomplished,” Sam had said with a roll of his eyes. “But seriously…”

“Seriously?”

Sam had shrugged.

“Would it be too much for you?”

“I mean I know I’ve read about the term ‘locking lips’—”

Higgs had rolled his eyes that time.

“But somehow I doubt that’s a real thing. I mean, it won’t hurt to try. And I can jump back if needed at any moment.”

Higgs had slightly laughed at that imagery. “Fair. So…”

“Well would you be cool with that?”

“I guess…”

“You guess? If you’re not that into the idea I am definitely not doing it—”

“I’m into it!”

“Eager much?”

Higgs had turned beat red.

“I’m teasing Higgs!”

“I know. That’s why I’m embarrassed,” he’d grumbled.

“So are we doing this? It’s up to you.”

“I…” Higgs hadn’t been able to actually say it. He’d just nodded.

They had stared at each other for a second, eyes moving over the other’s face and lips. Sam had leaned just the slightest bit forward first. Higgs had followed suit before suddenly leaning back.

“It feels weird to keep our eyes open, right?” Higgs had quickly asked.

“A little. We should both close them.”

“Both? What if we miss each other’s lips?”

“Ok, how about you close your eyes then? It is me giving you your first kiss as a birthday present. Makes more sense that way.”

“Ok. Ok.” Somehow Higgs had been pretty sure a first kiss shouldn’t have so many logistics thrown into it. Still, he’d closed his eyes. A part of him had expected to wait. Maybe he would have sat there like an idiot for several seconds or more. He would have peeked out from behind his eyelids only to find that Sam had changed his mind. Which would have been fine! It was his choice. But once the idea had been thrown out, Higgs had kind of wanted to try it—

Rather than waiting during some painfully silent pause only to be disappointed at the end of it though, the moment Higgs had closed his eyes he’d felt Sam’s lips against his.

The motion had been quick and soft, a peck more than anything before Sam had moved back again. But already Higgs had known it felt different. It had been a new kind of intimacy that would have made his knees go weak if he’d been standing. At the same time, a noise he hadn’t even known he could make had escaped the back of his throat.

Sam had laughed.

Higgs had gone red. He’d ducked his head before hesitantly opening his eyes.

Sam had wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and said, “Only a quarter of a second and it was that good huh?”

“Oh shut up.”

“Sorry. Sorry,” Sam had laughed. “So, what was it like for you?”

Higgs had pulled his legs in tightly. He’d hid his head and mumbled, “Really nice.”

“Yeah?”

Higgs had glanced up. “What about you?”

“Not as gross as I was expecting. But I think that’s just because it’s you.”

“Because it’s me?”

“Yeah. I’ve just gotten used to you so something like that didn’t really bother me. I didn’t get the same feeling you so clearly got. But I guess…I kind of liked it.”

“Wait, really?”

“Again, not the way you did. But I don’t mind being near you anymore now. I like being near you. And I like how it made you happy.”

“Now you’re just saying things.”

“I’m serious. And happy birthday Higgs.”

He’d blushed hard at that but had still managed a small smile all the same.

And from there, they’d simply experimented a little more. Sam had slowly started to figure out that he just didn’t have any real drive like Higgs did, but he was still open to trying new things and pushing a little. After a while, a kiss grew into something more for both of them as it kept happening. As Sam got more used to the motions, he really didn’t mind it with Higgs, though for him it felt like the equivalent of holding Higgs’ hand or hugging him, just slightly more intimate and private. It felt nice to have someone besides his dad that he could be comfortably close with but in a completely different way, and he liked seeing how happy it made Higgs. There just was never a physical, biological reaction like Higgs sometimes got.

One example of just trying something different that carefully walked the line of not making too much contact for Sam and still being intimate enough for Higgs was a night when they were in bed. Though not completely grown up, they certainly weren’t the kids they had once been. Even with Sam’ back flat against the wall they were kind of tangled up, though Sam didn’t mind since he had a blanket wrapped around him as a nice layer and his aversion to touch had lessened a great deal anyways. They still usually slept in their own beds now, but it was nice being near each other like that.

At first, the only skin contact was their lips, Higgs moving his and pushing just a little before Sam managed to get an arm out and tapped Higgs twice on the shoulder.

“Sorry,” mumbled Higgs as he quickly moved back.

“It’s ok. I mean, I did need to breath—”

Higgs shoved him a little at that with a quick glance away.

“But I’m just sorry I sometimes need a break. Even still.”

“It’s ok.”

“Really?”

“Well who else around here am I going to kiss?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Fair enough.”

“And I…I’d rather get what I can get from you than going just wild with someone else.”

“Seriously?”

Higgs nodded. “I don’t know if I could feel as safe with someone else.”

“We have been with each other since the beginning,” Sam reminded him, “and I was the first person you opened up to.”

“And I’ll probably get other chances to meet people our age and open up to them too eventually. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes—”

“I’d still rather be with you,” mumbled Higgs.

“Have you met everyone around our age?”

“No! You know that but…I’d still rather get what I can from you than someone else. Like, I get that you don’t get really physically…excited like I do. But it’s not like that’s the only thing. We share other things. Likes and dislikes, memories. We can have a full blown argument and know that we’re really just fucking around with the other person and laugh at it afterwards. We can still be intimate, and I feel safe with you.”

“Higgs,” Sam softly murmured.

“I’m serious. A-and maybe I could find all those elements with someone else, but I’d rather have what we have. All that stuff is more important than being completely physical or sexually intimate.”

“Wow, you actually mean that.”

“Of c-wait. Oh god. Did I just say all that and you don’t-oh fuck I feel like an idiot now—”

“Hold on,” Sam quickly said. “Don’t immediately jump to conclusions. I do get what you mean. I love you Higgs. I’d rather be with you than anyone else or by myself. I just…I sometimes worry if I’m enough. You know? And maybe I’m not the right fit and you’ll find someone who’s able to do whatever you need with you without any issues—”

“You’re more than enough,” Higgs earnestly said. “Better than enough. I’d still rather have you here with me in this moment. I can’t even come up with some hypothetical, made up person to take your place right now.”

That made Sam smile. They both shifted around a bit and kissed again, soft and quick before simply pressing their foreheads together.

“Maybe…maybe it could change one day,” Higgs murmured. “I won’t say it’s impossible. Maybe we won’t always have this exact relationship. But right now I love you too. I always will even if the relationship changes. And…and at least right now, I can say I’d definitely rather have you.”

“So we’re on the same page, huh?”

“Definitely.”

They both smiled before Sam’s eyes lit up. “I’ve got an idea.”

“An idea?”

“You said you trusted me. Right?”

“Yes…”

“Just going to try something.”

Sam moved one arm out from under the blanket. He pushed Higgs’ shirt up and Higgs went beat red.

“Oh come on. We’ve changed in front of each other before.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t the one ripping my clothes off.”

“I’m not ripping your clothes off. Just hold on.”

Sam pushed Higgs shirt up a bit more, exposing his side and stomach. Then, very gently, Sam moved his fingernails over Higgs’ skin. The touch was so slight, that Sam wondered if Higgs would even get anything from it. However, it seemed like the smaller touches had Higgs reacting even more so than when they shared larger forms of contact. Sam was barely moving against him. It was really just Sam’s fingernails, and he just barely felt the pressure as he went over old scars and muscles. Yet it made Higgs turn into Sam’s shoulder and Sam could feel the heat radiating from his face, even through the blanket.

“All good?”

Higgs nodded. His breathing hitched. He squirmed a little as Sam kept up the slow motions. Again, Sam didn’t get any physical reaction out of it, but he did kind of enjoy it. He enjoyed it because he could make Higgs feel like this and he liked finding ways to be closer to Higgs that managed to stay within his preferred boundaries too.

“Oh fuck.”

Sam snorted.

“Stop laughing at me.”

“Sorry.”

“You are absolutely not sorry,” came Higgs’ grumpy reply.

“Nope. You got me,” smirked Sam.

Higgs tried to respond, but at that moment Sam carefully traced Higgs’ hip and then went just a little lower. Higgs groaned and squirmed even more. “I am going to need a fucking shower after this.”

“I mean, that kind of was the idea.”

“Are you serious! Oh god I’m so embarrassed.”

“Why? You’re liking it. Aren’t you?”

“Yes,” grumbled Higgs as he kept his face hidden.

“So I guess I found a good middle ground then.”

“Definitely. One hundred percent. Best middle ground ever.”

Sam laughed, still keeping up the soft, almost petting motions.

“Maybe one day…” Sam trailed off.

“One day what?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get more comfortable and we can go for more contact. Kiss as long as you want and…other things.”

They both blushed at that as Higgs mumbled, “I mean, that would be great. But I’m also ok with this too.”

“Yeah?”

Higgs nodded and finally stopped hiding his face against Sam’s shoulder. “I would definitely rather only go this far with you and have you than someone else.”

“You’re so sappy.”

“Hey—”

“Don’t worry. I really like it. Though it won’t stop me from teasing you about it.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Higgs murmured.

They gently kissed, staying curled up in the bed for a while longer.

It wasn’t exactly the relationship that Higgs had seen depicted in old movies or read about in books, but it made him happy. It made Sam happy.

So through their later adolescent years, they explored it. They found the boundaries and ways of making it comfortable for both of them. And when Sam had found out about his past, he kind of realized just how much he really did care for Higgs. Higgs had been right of course. It didn’t change anything now, but it had mattered to Sam at first.

Because Sam realized that what Higgs thought honestly was important to him. The thought that he couldn’t give Higgs everything had disappeared by that point. If they were both happy, why did it matter that it was unconventional? Sam wanted to be with him in all the small and big moments. But what if this revelation had weirded or grossed Higgs out? What if their relationship had fallen apart? Sam hadn’t wanted it to fall apart. Even if they’d managed to fall back to how their relationship had been before the first kiss, Sam knew he would miss this. He would miss having Higgs. What if—

Sam hadn’t needed to come up with any additional ‘what if’ thoughts though. By that point, Higgs had already said all he needed to say, and Sam’s own anxiety had disappeared.

The revelation of his birth did of course make Sam wonder if his lack of a drive was because of his past. But no, it was different from the whole touching issue. That was situational. He didn’t mind any physical contact from his dad and now with Higgs, very few things bothered him anymore. That was something he had been working through, could work through. The lack of a sex drive, that was just who Sam was and he didn’t mind. If anything, it just made it funnier when Higgs got hung up on something and again, Sam wasn’t repulsed by it. He liked watching Higgs, liked pushing his buttons but also doing things that clearly felt good to Higgs. Higgs just repaid him in other ways, like watching Sam’s favorite movie or letting Sam choose a game.

It was their relationship, and all of it had developed in private moments and behind closed doors. To be fair, it wasn’t like they’d been trying to hide it from Cliff, though Higgs had more reason to be anxious over it all than Sam. It was just that they’d been young. They’d been exploring, and obviously both had felt more comfortable just trying new things between themselves when they knew they weren’t going to get interrupted.

However, considering they weren’t actively trying to hide it and since they were now going on deliveries with Cliff, meaning there were less moments where they were completely alone, Cliff was bound to find out eventually.

And he did.

Sam was sitting cross legged and at the head of Higgs’ bed. Higgs had his head resting in Sam’s lap as Sam slowly traced the lines on Higgs’ face and down his neck. Sam had been listening to Higgs read, but after Higgs had placed the book to the side, they’d decided to enjoy the quiet moment.

As Sam leaned down, Higgs reached up and tugged a little at his hair.

“Keep growing it out.”

“You think?”

“Not much longer. Just long enough to put it up if you want.”

“Alright. We’ll see if it works. I’m cutting it immediately though if it looks bad.”

“It won’t look bad,” Higgs promised.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Just trust me. It’ll look great.”

“Fine. What about you?”

“Me growing my hair out? Nah, wouldn’t look right. Better to keep it short. I think I’m going to keep up using the eyeliner and makeup though. It’s fun.”

“God, dad’s face the first time he saw it.”

Higgs laughed at the memory. “He was trying so hard not to be rude, but he was so confused. His whole ‘what happened to your eyes’ ha!”

“To be fair, Lockne has sense helped you a great deal with the technique.”

“Fair. And it is very easy to jab yourself in the eye if you’re not paying attention.”

They both laughed before Higgs flipped over. He pushed himself up so he was sitting too and gave Sam a once over. “You know…”

“No! I swear you, Lockne, and Målingen will not convince me! You guys can have fun with all that, but I am perfectly happy with my face.”

Higgs let out a small sigh, his muscles relaxing as his eyes slowly traveled across Sam’s features. His voice changed a little as he murmured, “It is a very nice face.”

“Ah, is it horny Higgs time?”

“Please stop calling it that!”

“What? It flows well.”

“Evil. So fucking evil pipsqueak,” groaned Higgs as he momentarily covered his face with a pillow.

“It’s not my fault. I still don’t understand half the time what it is that turns you on.”

“Mostly you,” sighed Higgs as he dropped the pillow.

“Well I should hope it’s mostly me. I may not have a sex drive, but I feel like getting turned on by a plant is a bit weird.”

Higgs hit him with the pillow. Sam easily blocked.

“What’s it this time?” laughed Sam.

“Your eyes,” Higgs sighed as he leaned against his knee.

“You have very pretty eyes too,” Sam replied as he leaned forward, making Higgs let out a long sigh. “They are very handsome, and I love them. I love seeing them and I love seeing how you look at me. But I still don’t get how that would turn anyone on.”

Higgs rolled his eye. “And you probably never will.”

“Hey! I count that as a good thing. You get aroused enough for both of us. Can you imagine if I was into sex too?”

Higgs laughed hard at that. “Well the pace would be faster, that’s for sure.”

“Oh I don’t know, I’m pretty sure I would still like teasing the hell out of you.”

“And oh how you tease,” groaned Higgs.

“You like it.”

“Fuck knows why, but yeah,” sighed Higgs.

They mutually gave each other a quick kiss, though Higgs pulled back with a wanting look.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah come on.”

They both laughed, only cutting it off when they returned to the kiss. Again, Sam had mostly gotten used to that. He didn’t mind a quick peck from Higgs, or even the longer kisses they’d been practicing. After all, Sam did enjoy kissing Higgs. He liked being close to him and the intimacy of it. He just never really got aroused by it, even if it turned a little more heated on Higgs’ end.

Higgs pushed a little and Sam smiled against his lips. If his sense of touch got overstimulated, Higgs would pull back before Sam even had time to tap him on the shoulder now, having learned to read his body language and if it was all getting too much. Sam had sometimes jumped back during the earlier days, but now they had a rhythm.

At least until Higgs found a reason to be the one to jump back this time.

“What do you want for dinner—”

Sam and Higgs hadn’t exactly discussed what they would tell Cliff, but apparently the ‘when’ was now.

Before either could react, Cliff just shook his head. His face was carefully blank as he said, “I will give you both a second, and myself a second. I’ll be right back.”

And with that, Cliff firmly closed their door and then stood on the other side with his arms crossed. For a moment, he just looked at the ground. Then he started laughing, though he tried to hide it so Sam and Higgs didn’t hear it from the other side.

He couldn’t say for sure what had been going through his boys’ heads, but if they thought themselves coy, they’d been anything but. Cliff had noticed things changing between them. Of course he had. But he hadn’t breached it. He had wanted to avoid overstepping the boundaries of their privacy, hadn’t wanted to assume anything, and had decided to trust them in choosing how and when they wanted to bring it up.

It seemed that last idea especially had fallen through and now Cliff needed to figure out how the hell he was going to handle this though.

If his own parents had ever caught him in something as innocent as a kiss even at Higgs’ and Sam’s ages, they probably would have disowned him. So probably not best to go that route. Still, he should take this seriously. He would treat them like adults. As far as he knew, they deserved that kind of respect and they were both only shy of twenty. Still, he should probably talk to them about some things which could get…awkward. But still necessary. Yes, just calm and honest and serious and this would go fine.

Cliff took a deep breath. He figured he’d given them both enough time. He turned around and opened the door.

Sam had barely moved, still sitting cross legged on the bed with a perfectly neutral look on his face. Higgs on the other hand had turned himself into a pile of blankets by Sam’s hip. Cliff tried very hard to keep a straight face and not to openly laugh. This had to be very embarrassing for Higgs and Cliff would not make fun of it.

But that didn’t make it any easier.

“So,” Cliff calmly said, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. “How long has this been going on?”

“I guess it’s getting close to two years though it’s only more serious now. We kissed on Higgs’ seventeenth birthday,” Sam nonchalantly said.

At the same time, Higgs groaned from beneath the pile of blankets. “He’s going to kill me.”

“I am not going to kill you Higgs,” Cliff warmly replied. “Come up. Let me see your face.”

Higgs shifted at first, but then stopped and remained underneath the blankets. “I can’t,” came the muffled response. “Oh god this is so god damn embarrassing.”

“How is it embarrassing? You’re older. Act like it,” Sam said with a roll of his eyes. “It’s just dad.”

That made Higgs sit up as the blankets fell from him and he dramatically threw his hands up in the air. “Yeah, your dad who gave me a damn home and who could throw me out at any second because I think his son’s cute-oh you’re sitting a lot closer than I expected. Hi Cliff.”

“Hello Higgs.” God he was not making it any easier to be the serious parent right now. Still, Cliff put on his kindest smile and said, “Do you really think I would ever throw you out?”

“I mean…”

Cliff’s voice turned softer. “I’m serious Higgs. Do you think I would turn you away now, after everything?”

“N-no?”

“No, I would not,” Cliff agreed. He looked at them both and said, “Now normally this is where the talk would come in—”

“Oh please god no,” begged Higgs as he covered his face with his hands.

Sam had the opposite reaction. “I mean, if you want to you can dad. But we did learn some biology. And really it’s only Higgs that I would say you have to worry about—”

“Don’t tell him that!”

Higgs pushed Sam, Sam grabbed him, and they both went tumbling to the floor with Cliff only needing to slightly move back so he didn’t get hit with a passing appendage. Higgs jumped up first and nervously messed with his hands.

“I got pretty much all of it covered so can we um…maybe skip that part for now?”

Sam jumped up too. “I think you should go over it just to embarrass him.”

Higgs balked and finally Cliff couldn’t take it anymore.

He laughed, a reaction that only partially surprised Sam and completely threw Higgs.

“Please,” Cliff said as he got his breathing under control. “Sit next to me?”

They both slowly did on either side. Cliff carefully looked at them. He supposed if what they said was true, he could put off having the talk. To be fair, he might have waited too long for that discussion and it might not be necessary anymore. With that in mind, he changed the subject a little bit.

“The most important question I can ask then, are you happy?”

“Yeah dad. We are.”

“Higgs?”

He hesitantly nodded.

“Good. I suppose that’s really all I need to know.”

“Wait, really?” Higgs asked.

“Well is there something else you’d like to add?”

“Definitely not,” Higgs quickly said as Sam laughed.

“That’s what I figured,” Cliff replied, still trying to keep up the kind smiles and soft voice so as not to worry Higgs anymore. “Then honestly I don’t have anything else to say.”

“You’re not upset?” Higgs hesitantly asked.

“Of course not. If you care for each other, and as long as you treat each other decently, you’re old enough to make these kinds of decisions on your own. And I suppose I would say I was a little shocked, except I suspected what was going on for at least several months now. It’s not like you have many people your own age to explore these kinds of relationships with.”

“Wait, you’re not surprised at all?” Sam asked.

“No Sam. I may be old, but I can recognize the difference between plain teasing and flirting and I could tell the moment it started to change for you two.”

They both went a little red at that. Considering Higgs still looked a little worried though, Cliff focused more on him and added, “I still love you. You know that right Higgs?”

“Yeah. But just…”

“Higgs, I trust you and I trust you with Sam. Do you want to know why?”

Higgs nodded.

“Because I had the chance to help raise you into the fine young man you’re becoming. I trust you. And the same goes for you Sam. This doesn’t change that. I still love you both.”

Sam smiled. Though clearly he hadn’t been worried like Higgs, it was clear he really appreciated his dad’s words. Higgs on the other hand suddenly grabbed Cliff and hugged him tight. Cliff pulled him in close, trying to be as reassuring as possible.

“So it’s all cool?” asked Sam.

“Yes, it is alright. Perhaps if you were both younger, we might need to have a bit more serious conversation. But still, I trust you both to make the right decisions. So Higgs…”

Higgs looked up hesitantly.

“You think my son’s cute. Hmm?”

“Oh god please! You’re as bad as him!”

“It does not take much to embarrass him, I will tell you that now dad.”

“And why should he be embarrassed?” asked Cliff. “You’re mine. Of course you’re adorable.”

“Ok, now you’re embarrassing me.”

“Ha!” yelled Higgs.

“It’s only a father’s right to embarrass his son a little,” Cliff responded as he made a show of pinching Sam’s cheek.

“Dad!”

Higgs laughed and Sam managed a smile as he swatted his dad’s hand away. The air eased and Cliff pulled them both in for half hugs.

“I am so incredibly lucky I have you two. I hope you know that.”

“We’re lucky we have you too,” Sam said.

Higgs nodded in agreement, turning the half hug into a full hug again before letting go.

“Alright, so back to the question before all of this. What do we want for dinner?” asked Cliff.

“Pizza!”

“Higgs, it is possible to have too much of a good thing,” groaned Sam.

“Not with pizza.”

“No, especially pizza. My mouth is going to go raw before long.”

“Well that’s your problem. I vote pizza.”

“And I vote—”

“I’ll let you both hash it out,” chuckled Cliff as he finally stood up. “But if you don’t decide in the next thirty minutes, it’s my choice. How’s that?”

“Fair enough,” sighed Sam.

“Fine,” Higgs whined.

“Good. I’ll be in the kitchen. I’ll see you both in a bit.”

With that, Cliff left and Higgs immediately collapsed back onto the bed.

“I never want to have that conversation again,” gasped Higgs.

“Well lucky for you, it’s normal to only have that conversation once,” Sam replied.

“Hush. You didn’t have to fear how he’d react. He’s your dad. He would support you through anything.”

Sam turned a bit and laid on his stomach next to Higgs. “He would support you too.”

“I’m still not his son.”

“Doesn’t matter. He thinks of you like a son. He helped raise you. That’s close enough.”

“But we don’t share blood.”

“So? Family isn’t defined by that, and he obviously still cares. It doesn’t change anything. Honest,” Sam murmured.

“Yeah…maybe it doesn’t,” murmured Higgs. He let out a small sigh and added, “I love him too. Like a parent. He did so much for me, and I don’t want to mess that up—”

“He knows.”

“You sure?”

“Definitely,” Sam kindly said. “So for dinner…”

“I still say pizza.”

“If I give you a kiss, can I choose?”

“You can’t use kisses against me!”

“I don’t know.” Sam leaned in, soft and quick. He pulled back and smirked. “I think it’ll work.”

Higgs let out a long groan. “Fine. You choose.”

“Yes!”

“But Pizza next time!”

“Fine, yes,” laughed Sam. He got up and Higgs quickly followed to go tell Cliff what they’d picked out.


	14. A Bridge to the South

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished the next chapter! Here it is and hope you enjoy!

Cliff hadn’t known how Sam would take the truth of his birth. However, after everything, Cliff realized he hadn’t been giving his son enough credit.

Cliff had raised him well, and even if Sam couldn’t recognize it, Cliff saw Lisa’s kind and tenacious heart within him. Sam had been right. It wasn’t Cliff’s fault despite how he’d been living with that guilt for so long. In some ways, it had been easier. Chalking it up to bad luck and chance had made Cliff feel helpless, so it had been easier to just pretend the fault somehow originated with him even though there had been nothing he could have done.

He’d always been the man of action. He’d always had a plan. But he couldn’t plan for everything, and sometimes people were just powerless.

It seemed even Cliff had some growing up left as he still battled with that acceptance, and there were things he could learn from his son. It didn’t mean the guilt just disappeared right away. It didn’t mean he could so easily let go and admit it all wasn’t his fault. But a weight he hadn’t even realized had been resting on his heart was gone for the first time in years.

As the days passed, he still thought back on the moment that everything came to light. He thought about what he could have done differently, if other words might have been better utilized and what might have changed if he’d just had more time to prepare. But the past had come and gone. He was thankful of where he had landed, that he’d at least gotten Sam out and had been able to see him grow up for the past seventeen years.

He did wonder if he should tell Sam about Amelie, but as far as Cliff knew, and from what she’d said herself, she’d had no direct involvement with the BB experiments. And considering how little Cliff knew at the moment, there wasn’t much he could give Sam anyways besides more questions.

So with that said and done, Cliff just tried to find a balance again. He tried to learn that it wasn’t his fault, and he tried to accept and move past the guilt as best he could. It helped that he had Sam and Higgs to distract him. Their boisterous back and forth nature, and the character they brought along to every delivery always managed to bring a smile to Cliff’s face. He also got plenty of good material to tease his boys with thanks to the addition of young love.

As they’d gotten older, he’d of course seen how things had changed from an outwards perspective. He’d wondered if their relationship might go in that direction and if he should intervene in any way. However, whatever choice they made and however the relationship would change, Cliff already knew the core of their bond would never break. He cared for them, trusted them, and they had his blessing when he got the full picture. But with him knowing also came the required amount of teasing that any parent would be allowed in such a situation.

Immediately after Cliff had found out, he’d found it difficult not to laugh as he watched Sam and Higgs dance around each other. They’d clearly become far more aware about exactly how their words and body language came off. They’d grown a bit more self-conscious, though Higgs was far more easily embarrassed than Sam.

One early example was the third time they sat down for a meal together. Sam and Higgs had been sitting across rather than right next to each other despite, how they had sat very close to each other before Cliff knew. Cliff suspected it wasn’t a conscious decision, but it had him laughing all the same.

“You remind me of when I brought Lisa home for the first time,” murmured Cliff.

Sam and Higgs looked a little surprised at how Cliff brought her up, but they both quickly latched onto the possible tale.

“I hope that’s a good thing?” Higgs asked.

“Yes, I suppose so,” Cliff laughed. “You both realize you don’t have to clam up around me. Right? It’s alright to still be affectionate with each other like before.”

They both looked a little embarrassed at that. Sam asked, “Is that what my grandparents told you and Lisa?”

“Oh no. I didn’t even tell them we were dating when I brought her over for that first dinner.”

“Why not?” asked Higgs. “Would they…not have approved?”

“Not to the degree you’re thinking of,” Cliff kindly explained. “They loved me dearly. They loved Lisa when we did finally tell them. They were good parents, just incredibly old fashioned. They had me very late in life.”

“You’ve barely ever talked about them,” Sam commented. “Did they pass away before the Death Stranding?”

“Yes. After Lisa and I got married, and sadly before we knew she was pregnant with you. They loved your mother dearly, but if I had brought her home that first night and admitted to even half of what we’d already done, they would have disowned me on the spot.”

“Ew, gross dad!”

“I don’t mean like that,” Cliff laughed.

Higgs leaned forward. “Do you mean like how some movies, especially the really old ones show people not moving in together until after they get married?”

“Yes, like that,” Cliff said with another laugh. “You see, I met Lisa in between tours when we were both young. Looking back on it, we certainly made some rather rash decisions, but it luckily worked out. I was pretty much moved into her apartment before I left again. We both knew there was a chance things would change by the time I got back, but it really didn’t.

“Still, we were going much too fast for my parents’ liking so I introduced Lisa as a friend and…well. We were sat much like you, all stiff shoulders and hyperaware of every small action.” He focused on Sam. “Though your mother almost blew my cover.”

Sam smiled at that. “She say something at the wrong time?”

“Something, certainly. Before a year had even passed, I knew I wanted to marry her. We waited just a little longer, though even that was definitely going too fast for your grandparents.”

Sam laughed. “So how did you actually tell your parents that you two were together?”

“Hmm, maybe another time. I’m sure I’m boring Higgs plenty.”

“No!” Higgs quickly said. “I like hearing about her too.”

Sam nodded earnestly. “Did it go as planned or did you get embarrassed?”

“Oh, very embarrassed. And your mother’s extraordinary poker face did not help in the slightest.”

They both laughed and Higgs said, “Well now I know where he gets it from. So what happened?”

“Where were you?” asked Sam.

Cliff smiled at their eager faces and over dinner he told them. He hadn’t told stories of Lisa in a while, but it felt good to touch on them again, especially now. It made him happy that Higgs enjoyed them too. Lisa would have loved him, just as much as Sam. God, Cliff hadn’t stopped missing her a day since. But after telling Sam the truth and talking about the good memories once more, Cliff slowly began to feel a great deal better than he had in a long time.

The deliveries continued. Cliff trusted the boys to do ones on their own at further and further distances, and they all grew a little older and wiser. After almost a year of going on deliveries with them, Cliff decided it was time to take a step towards the rest of their lives. Already Sam and Higgs had mapped out their local area incredibly well. They were getting antsy again. Of course, if that was the only thing, Cliff might wait a little longer. However, they’d proven themselves capable, both as a team and individually. They knew when it was time to be serious. They knew how to defend themselves and to fight if absolutely necessary. They wanted to go farther, but more importantly, they were ready to go farther.

So with Sam being eighteen and Higgs’ nineteenth birthday nearing, Cliff told them they would finally head out for South Knot City.

Both were shocked but immediately excited at the prospect. Cliff told them in advance so he could prepare them for their longest journey, but also so they would have time to properly say goodbye to Målingen and Lockne. They were the closest friends Sam and Higgs had. As excited as they were at leaving, they both would miss them a great deal.

As proof of that, on the night before they left, Lockne and Målingen put aside their science experiments so that they could make the most of their time with Sam and Higgs. Cliff cooked them all an early dinner. They watched films and talked and teased and played games. But after a while, Higgs disappeared. Sam noticed his absence first, but considering how the twins were hanging off him, Cliff quickly said he would go grab him.

Cliff lightly knocked as he walked into Higgs’ and Sam’s room. Higgs jumped a little, quickly holding an object to his chest.

“Still deciding on what to bring? You can’t bring many personal effects,” Cliff reminded him.

“It’s n-not that. I’ve decided to only bring this,” Higgs replied as one hand touched the place where the quipu always hung underneath his shirt.

Cliff’s eyes traveled back to the object in Higgs’ hands. “What is that then?” he asked as he walked over. He used the bed to help ease himself to the floor and sat next to Higgs.

Higgs tried his best to hide the object and murmured, “You’ll be upset.”

“Why would I be upset?” Cliff asked. He used his gentler voice, able to tell when Higgs needed it the most.

In answer to his question, Higgs whispered, “Because I kept it.”

His grip loosened just the slightest as he showed Cliff a book. More specifically, it was a journal and one that Cliff easily recognized. He let out a small sigh. “Does Sam know?”

Higgs shook his head. “He’d say I should just throw it away.”

“He might think that, but he wouldn’t try to force you to do that. You know that, right?”

“Yeah. Just…I hate making him sad. And I know he’d look real fucking sad if he knew I still had it. Still looked at it.”

Cliff put a warm hand on the back of Higgs’ neck before rubbing circles into his back. “Why look at it now?”

“Because like you said, I can’t take it with me. And…I realize we’ll be coming back here eventually. But it still feels like I’m leaving him behind too.” Higgs turned silent for a moment before murmuring, “I didn’t ask before, but did you ever go back?”

“To the area? Yes,” Cliff admitted. “But never to his bunker. I never took another order for there either. To be honest, I stopped seeing orders pop up for those coordinates not long after the incident.”

Higgs nodded. “So, he might be…dead.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“That’s what I hate.”

“The not knowing?” Cliff clarified.

Higgs nodded. “Not that I know what I would do if I did know if he was alive or where he was but…I don’t know.” He looked over the journal, flipping through the old pages once more before he asked, “Is it bad that I can’t throw this away yet?”

“No Higgs. It’s simply you healing at your own pace and there is no right path to that.”

Higgs made a face. “I thought I was healed long ago.”

“Physically? Yes. But mental and emotional wounds can take a lot longer. Sometimes they never fully go away.”

“But I have to get over them. I don’t want to be the reason to make Sam sad ever again and he already thinks I’m fine.”

“I doubt he thinks that,” murmured Cliff.

“But I’ve managed to stop talking about it. And I’ve pushed it away and—”

“And sometimes that is the best thing to do. You shouldn’t always talk about it or have such thoughts on your mind. But it’s alright not to feel ok sometimes. It’s natural that you still can’t let go of the past, and it shouldn’t be your job to pretend everything is alright for Sam. I’m sure he’s not as blind to it as you think.”

“But I just hate making him sad.”

“I know Higgs, and it’s sweet you want to avoid that. But can I give you an important bit of advice I learned from my late wife?”

Higgs nodded.

“Relationships of any kind, siblings, familial, platonic, romantic, whatever, must include the good and the bad. Otherwise you’re just lying to each other. The strongest relationships are those that can find the good after getting through the difficult parts too. Now, I’m not saying you should dump everything onto Sam. It is never someone else’s job to fix you. But a relationship is a partnership and when things get a little too heavy, you should still be able to trust in your partner to help carry the load. You and Sam have already been through a great deal and I know how he’s helped carry you to this point now. It’s good to be independent. But you can still lean on him now and then. Not as a crutch, but as the loving support that I know he’ll give you whenever you need it.”

Higgs managed a smile and a small sniff. He slowly breathed in and out before murmuring, “You know, you’re really good at giving those small, uplifting speeches.”

“I was the leader of a squad. I learned how to do that very well and very quickly.” Higgs actually laughed at that. It made Cliff smile too and he added, “It’s ok to come to me too. You can lean on me.”

“I know. I do!” Higgs quickly said. “Just…”

“You don’t have to explain it. As long as you know,” murmured Cliff. He would feel more uncertain if Higgs didn’t have anyone else, but Cliff understood there were probably just some things he felt more comfortable talking to Sam about. At least they had each other. “Are you ready to join the twins for the last time in a while?”

“Yeah,” Higgs replied. He looked a lot better and closed the book without worry. He threw it back under the bed and jumped up faster than Cliff.

With that, the rest of the night ended with a final movie of Lockne’s choosing. It was very romantic and cheesy, and Higgs argued with Sam the whole time about how he absolutely did not enjoy it. At least until the climatic ‘will they, won’t they’ moment where Higgs slapped a hand over Sam’s mouth to shut him up.

“Hey—”

“Shh!” Higgs and Lockne yelled at the same time as Målingen snickered behind her hand.

To be honest, Cliff had fallen asleep by then, but he woke back up during the credits. It was just in time to see Sam teasing Higgs. Målingen had passed out, her body strewn across both their laps. Lockne had already gone back to messing with a couple of equations she’d written down earlier.

“One of these days, I will get you to admit you’re the hopeless romantic that you are,” Sam said.

“Not a chance,” Higgs retorted.

“Really? Because if you’re not a romantic then you wouldn’t have given me that look during the final kiss scene. And it doesn’t get more stupid, silly, romantic than kissing at the romantic moments during a romantic movie.”

“He’s got you there,” Lockne said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Higgs tried to argue. However, he was stopped when Sam gave him a quick peck. Higgs made a tiny noise in the back of his throat and Cliff purposefully cleared his at the same time.

They both jumped a little, which would have been amusing just by itself. However, their movement caused Målingen to suddenly wake up. She shot forward and slammed her head against Higgs’ chin.

“God damn it Målingen!”

“Me? Your head was in the way. Which is amazing because I would have thought you’d be tall enough to avoid that.”

“Oh ha ha. This another take on how’s the weather up there?”

“Nope. Though while we’re on it. How is it?”

“Just fine actually,” Higgs playfully teased. He tickled her mercilessly. Sam just kept his hands up and out of the way, leaning back as Målingen finally fell off their laps. Lockne easily dodged one of her sister’s flailing limbs as she wrote down another symbol.

“Alright, I think it’s time for bed,” chuckled Cliff. “Higgs, Sam, and I do have to get up early.”

“Can we sleep over?” asked Målingen.

Lockne quickly wrote a final line and then put it down. “Please?”

“I’ll make sure you both have a chance to say good-bye tomorrow,” Cliff kindly said.

“Please?” they begged at the same time.

“And where are you going to sleep?” chuckled Cliff. He supposed if they really, really wanted to, he could give the twins his bed. He could sleep on the couch and he was sure their parents would say it was alright—

“Fort,” said Målingen.

“Fort?” asked Sam

Higgs’ eyes lit up. “Fort.”

Sam seemed to think it over for a second before giving a confirming nod. “Fort.”

“Am I the only one not following?” Lockne interrupted, leading to everyone erupting into a variety of giggles.

“Fort, huh? Alright then. I’ll double check with your parents but I’m sure—” The twins, Sam, and Higgs scrambled up and rushed to their room. “—it’ll be fine,” Cliff finished to an empty room. He softly laughed to himself before heading over so he could contact the twins’ parents.

As expected, they said yes. Cliff cleaned up the living room and then gave it all a quick once over. It obviously wasn’t the first time he would miss this place for a while. However, most everything was ordered and put away this time. Whereas last time he could still see Sam and Higgs’ fingerprints everywhere, now it was far more ordered and spotless. Surfaces would gather dust by the time they came back and it would take a little time before it would look lived in again. Assuming they all stayed put immediately after getting back.

Cliff hoped this would stay their home. But he had a feeling that it would become a hub more so as they all traveled more and more. Maybe it would happen sooner, a little later, but Cliff had a feeling that if something else changed, they would at least always find a home with each other.

By the time Cliff went back to their room, they’d surprisingly set up a rather impressive fort. Higgs and Sam had used their separate beds to tie blankets across them as a sort of mock ceiling. Pillows and more blankets were underneath it with all of the kids splayed out below.

“Impressive,” smiled Cliff. “Ready for bed?”

“So we can stay?” the twins asked in one go.

“Yes, your parents said it was ok. Is it alright to turn off the light?”

“Yeah, go ahead dad,” Sam said.

“Night Cliff,” smiled Higgs.

“Good night!”

“Night,” Cliff said. “Sleep well. All of you.”

With that, Cliff turned the light off to the four snuggling in close. It was good to see his boys acting like kids, especially considering how quickly they’d been forced to grow up in other ways. Cliff decided to double check all their equipment, making sure it was secure and in good condition for the long journey. After that, Cliff decided to finally go to bed too.

He slept soundly, as did all the kids. In the morning, he and his boys swiftly got ready. Their little group headed to the distribution center, Lockne and Målingen hanging off of Sam and Higgs until they got there.

After taking on the orders and securing the packages, Higgs grabbed the twins individually. He picked them up and spun them around much to their delight.

“And don’t forget about our order,” Målingen excitedly said. “We really need that equipment. And mom and dad can use it too. After we’re done with it first of course.”

“They’re already your assistants now, aren’t they?” laughed Higgs. Målingen and Lockne both nodded in agreement.

“Don’t worry.” Sam patted Lockne on her shoulder. “We won’t forget. And we’ll miss you.”

“How much?” asked Lockne.

“As much as possible,” Higgs smiled.

“Stay safe,” Cliff said. “Give your parents my best.”

“Always. Love you guys!”

“Love you too,” said Sam.

They all hugged again. The twins stayed near the entrance, waving them off before heading back towards the heart of the city. Cliff began to lead the way with Sam and Higgs trailing behind. It only took a few minutes before they were already getting into it with quips and teasing comments being thrown left and right.

Sam liked going on deliveries with his dad or Higgs, but it was the longer ones that really just gave him a breath of fresh air. After Higgs had become better socialized, he’d grown to like Middle Knot. It made sense. Being so isolated as a child, Higgs craved all kinds of attention. He loved to be around people in general. Sam liked to be around specific people, and even with his improved tolerance to touch, interacting with others was always more awkward. Thus, Higgs preferred the destinations. He liked meeting new people. He was the one who kept up relationships better with the preppers they commonly visited. Sam preferred the journey. He loved getting the chance to sit in a space and know that no one was around for miles. There was simply something so peaceful about it. As long as a squall of timefall or a terrorist cell didn’t appear of course

And those things did appear on their journey down south, but when they weren’t all watching each other’s back, Sam took solace in the quiet and expansive landscape.

Out of the deliveries they’d picked up between Middle and South Knot, there weren’t many near Middle Knot. The journey started at a quicker pace but quickly slowed as they could no longer go in such a direct line. The days were spent walking at a near constant pace. The nights were waited out in any crevice or cave they could find along the way to catch some shut eye.

There was one night where Sam and Higgs were watching the camp as Cliff did a quick walk around to make sure nothing else was hiding out near their current home.

So far, they’d come across a few mules. Thankfully no terrorists though they were supposed to be more abundant down south. For now, they could mostly rest and enjoy the night sky above them as long as timefall and BTs didn’t show up.

They’d been joking, only for the air to turn quiet for a moment. Higgs liked to talk more than just sit in silence, but he knew Sam appreciated the quiet. Higgs managed to stay silent for a while longer, and when he did speak, it was a bit more serious discussion.

“When we get back, there’s something I want to do.”

“Back in Middle Knot?”

Higgs nodded. “I was thinking of taking a trip to the old group of preppers Cliff used to regularly visit. I um…yeah.”

Sam caught on. “You want to see your uncle?”

“I wouldn’t say that. But I…I feel like I might get some form of closure. Maybe it’s a really stupid fucking idea. But I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I just…I was wondering if you could help me convince Cliff of it.”

“You won’t have to.”

“You think?”

“I mean, we’re almost adults. And dad would never stop you if you really wanted to. He might not like it, but he’ll feel better since I’m going with you.”

“I didn’t ask you though—”

“You don’t have to,” Sam smiled. “I want to be there for you.”

“I doubt it’ll be pretty.”

“I can deal with that.”

“He…he could still be there.”

“I’ll protect you. Remember?”

“Even against—”

“Always.”

“He could be…dead.”

“We’ll still get through it. Like we’ve done before. If going back will help you let go, then we’ll do it.”

“Together?”

Sam reached over and took Higgs’ hand as an answer.

“Ok…yeah. Thank you,” whispered Higgs.

“I’m just glad you trusted me enough to tell me. I’d hate it if you tried to go off on your own.”

“I was kind of toying with that idea.”

“Higgs…”

“Don’t worry. Cliff convinced me otherwise. I hate to remind you of my past, but it’s not right for me to just say what you can and can’t handle. I mean, you somehow managed to become my friend when I was at my worst. I trust you and…and I don’t really want to be alone. If you still want to come with me.”

“I do. Thank you for trusting me.”

“I’m glad I did.”

“Me too.”

Sam nudged Higgs a bit. Higgs took the sign and leaned his head against Sam’s shoulder, staying pressed up against Sam’s side until Cliff finally came back around.

Those peaceful moments were appreciated by all of them. They even celebrated Higgs’ birthday on the road, Cliff doing his best with the rations that he had. He made sure to say, “Don’t worry though. When we get back, we’ll have the food of your choosing like always.”

“Oh god don’t say it,” groaned Sam.

“Fuck yeah, pizza!”

“You will get tired of it one day,” Sam tried.

“Oh just keep fucking wishing. My love of pizza won’t ever go away.”

Sam let out another groan, though it was really all of them just being playful.

Later, those quiet, personal moments became even more important. They became a form of escape from their long journey as they simply needed a break from the increasing dangers in the area. Terrorists began to litter the landscape the further south they went, and mule encampments increased too. They snuck through the areas, or tried to avoid them altogether if possible. Occasionally they had to run though, and not every package came out undamaged by the time they got to safety. Of course, they tried to prevent further damage as much as possible, but their own safety came first.

The tensest moment was when Cliff got shot from a terrorist. However, the bullet only grazed him. Once they’d put enough distance between themselves and the threat, he finally paused to look at it. Cliff carefully set himself down and began to spread the torn clothes apart to better see it as Sam and Higgs crowded around.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry,” hissed Higgs. “I should have been faster. I should have—”

“It wasn’t your fault Higgs. And we were bound to get unlucky at some point. All things considered, this isn’t too bad.”

Sam had already begun to pull out the necessary materials. “Here, I’ll stitch you up. Including the suit so timefall won’t slip in or anything.”

“Good thinking Sam.” Cliff held out his arm. Sam disinfected it first and then started to work. Besides a few sharp breaths, Cliff managed to stay perfectly still for Sam.

“You wouldn’t have gotten shot if you hadn’t needed to help me up,” Higgs murmured.

“It’s alright Higgs. Taking bullets for you is my job. Remember? Better I get hurt than one of you.”

“I just should have watched my footing.”

“Well lesson learned then, right? You did good Higgs. You too Sam. You kept low, remembered your training, and we all got out safely. That’s what matters.”

Higgs nodded, turning silent as he watched Sam work until he did the final snip on the string in Cliff’s skin and then his suit. They managed to continue at their previous pace after that. Higgs was quiet for a bit, but his more cheerful-self managed to rise up again after a bit of distance was put between them and the event. By the next day, Higgs was good and had managed to stop blaming himself for Cliff’s small wound.

As they went, Cliff continuously lead the way. The only time he didn’t was when BTs were present. Instead of trying to avoid those areas or wait out the timefall like he would have by himself, he let Sam lead them. Those areas had actually been the easiest to traverse when it came to present danger. They all went slow and Sam managed to time the moments when they needed to hold their breaths perfectly.

All in all, the journey was going well. They had a little over two days left before they arrived at South Knot and only a few more preppers they had to visit before getting there. They were traveling through another BT infested area, but everything was going well. Sam was leading with Higgs following close behind and Cliff bringing up the rear. They’d been at it for a while. The BTs should be letting up soon, though Cliff of course trusted Sam’s lead on this. Hopefully just a little further and—

Higgs made a sharp turn.

It was so shocking that Cliff didn’t react fast enough to stop him. He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t be sure that his voice wouldn’t alert the BTs.

Thankfully, Sam almost immediately noticed. His lips moved, but the whisper for Higgs to come back was so soft that Cliff didn’t even hear it. It didn’t look like Higgs had heard it either, or maybe he was ignoring it. He kept going, crouched low and moving over the rocky landscape. Sam quickly followed and Cliff stayed close behind.

Sam was also internally wondering what the fuck Higgs was thinking. They were still in BT territory! If he hit one—

But Sam quickly found that they were following a path. The BTs were still close, but Higgs managed to find the safe route around them, even more quickly and effectively than Sam could considering he could only sense them and not see them.

At first, Sam though it might be luck. But no. This was too much. There was no way Higgs could avoid this many by pure chance. There was even a split second where Higgs covered his mouth with his hand, before Sam could even sense that he needed to hold in his breath.

Higgs didn’t have DOOMS, so how the hell was he doing this?

They got to a rocky, steep slope. They were finally out of BT territory though the timefall was still coming down hard. Higgs disappeared over the edge. Sam picked up his pace and looked over. His eyes widened. Beneath them was a body. Damaged, rust covered packages lay next to the broken form of a porter. Had they just not watched their footing? Had their load been too heavy? Maybe they’d been running from something. Whatever the reason, they were definitely dead now as Higgs stopped by them.

Sam and Cliff quickly followed down the slope. As Sam came up beside Higgs, he could finally see Higgs’ face and the tears that were gently falling down.

“Did you sense this?” Sam asked.

“I just…I followed the pull,” Higgs murmured. He sounded as confused as Sam felt. He finally seemed to notice the tears and wiped at them in surprise.

“A chiral allergy,” murmured Sam.

“But how…”

They both quieted as Cliff looked over the body.

“How long has he been dead?” asked Sam.

“Too long.”

That caused both Sam and Higgs to worriedly look at each other. Cliff focused on the corpse. It hadn’t begun the process of necrotization, but it likely would very soon. The clock was ticking.

Cliff immediately took off everything he was carrying.

“Dad, what are you—”

“You take these, and you go straight to South Knot,” interrupted Cliff. “Higgs, come here.”

He detached the odradek and quickly helped Higgs put it on as Sam put the packages on his back.

“You don’t stop for the other deliveries,” Cliff continued to say, “and you do not stop walking until you reach that city. I know it’ll be long and you’ll both be exhausted, but you do not stop. Not even to rest. Do you understand me?”

Higgs’ eyes widened. “Cliff, if this body is going necro we all need to—”

“We know of at least one prepper we just came from that could be caught in this blast. There could be more. There could be porters walking other routes that could all die in an instant,” Cliff interrupted. He focused back on the body for a second, quickly wrapping it up so he could secure it to his back. “Now, the last time I was down here I had to go to an incinerator just west of here. If I hurry, I can make it.”

“You can’t do that!” Sam cried out. “That was years ago.”

“Yeah! What if the paths to it have broken down? What if it’s no longer in use?” asked Higgs.

“Then it’s better it go off up there where I am certain there are no people, rather than down here where we don’t know how many lives could be lost.”

“No. Dad you can’t do this. If you—”

“I’m just doing my job Sam. Keeping you both safe,” Cliff interrupted.

Higgs shook his head. “I shouldn’t have followed it. I should have just ignored the feeling.”

“You did the right thing Higgs,” Cliff interrupted. “If we hadn’t known, there’s a chance we could have gotten caught in the blast as well. You—”

Cliff cut himself off as his eyes got drawn to the body. Shit.

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have time for a proper good-bye.”

“Good-bye? Dad—”

“Help me get him on my back. Hurry!”

Sam and Higgs quickly jumped to the task. Cliff finally stood up and he kissed Sam and Higgs on their foreheads.

“I love you both. Now go, and don’t stop until you reach the city.”

“Cliff, please don’t—”

“Go!” he barked. Then he turned his back on his boys first. If he wanted even a chance of seeing them again, he would have to book it to the incinerator. He prayed that he managed to find the right paths there, that it would be in working order. And if he didn’t get so lucky…

Like in the army, Cliff didn’t focus on the what-if or the inconsequential variables that didn’t affect his situation right that second. He just focused on the mission of getting this body out of the area and up to the incinerator. He wished he could look back. He wished he could hug his boys again and say everything he wanted to say just in case, but he couldn’t waste time and neither could his boys.

Cliff pushed his body forward. He refused to look back.


	15. A Bridge to the Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, next chapter! Dropping a lot more seeds of the story that's really going to come into play once I do another time jump to when they're all order. I hope you enjoy and massive thanks for all the comments and kudos it really helps me with my motivation to keep writing!

Sam and Higgs were out of BT territory now. The timefall was still coming down behind them, but where they were the sun shone and their hoods were down. A quick glance over showed that Higgs was still experiencing the effects of the chiral allergy though. He wiped at his face again as Sam looked back to the timefall behind them.

“You can still feel them?” asked Sam.

“I could see them.”

“See them? But that’s…I don’t know what level of DOOMS you would have to be but…fuck Higgs. You’ve never felt it before.”

“No,” agreed Higgs.

“Was it…delayed perhaps?”

“I don’t know. I could just feel this thing in me growing. Like I was pulling something from somewhere and holding it in. And now it’s there, in me, but I still don’t know where it originated, and I can’t increase the size of the source anymore.” Higgs let out a frustrated sigh. He could tell they were far away from the BTs and the chiral allergy was becoming less reactive, but that ability to sense them hadn’t completely disappeared yet. There was a connection there. He didn’t recognize it, wasn’t sure if he wanted to, but it was there all the same. He kept walking forward, but finally Higgs had to glance back. He slowed down as his eyes traveled up towards the mountains.

“Don’t,” whispered Sam. “He said to keep going.”

“I wish I hadn’t fucking listened to it,” Higgs replied before he slowly began to follow Sam again. “I shouldn’t have. It was so fucking stupid.”

“It wasn’t. You did the right thing.”

“But I didn’t! If…if Cliff dies, that’s fucking on me. I did this. I—”

“It’s not.”

“How can you say that?” asked Higgs. If there was anything that would break them, it had to be this right? It was Higgs’ fault. It was his fault. _His fault. His fucking fault!_

“Because it’s not what dad would have wanted you to focus on,” Sam replied. “You probably saved lives.”

“But not fucking his.”

Sam closed his eyes for a second. Tears not brought on by a chiral allergy fell down his face. “It’ll be ok Higgs.”

“You don’t know—”

“It will,” Sam interrupted. “I still have you. Don’t I?”

Higgs didn’t respond. Sam should be blaming him right now. It was his dad! And Cliff had only had to put his life on the line because of what Higgs had found. Sam should fucking hate him. And yet…

It wasn’t that simple. Higgs wanted so fucking badly to blame himself. But Sam didn’t, and fuck it, Sam was right. It was pure chance. He couldn’t have known. None of them could have.

Higgs walked up to Sam’s side and took his hand. Sam squeezed it tightly before they both let go. Higgs murmured, “If I could have gone instead… If he had just let me…”

“I know,” whispered Sam. “I would have done the same thing. But dad never would have let us put ourselves in that position. No matter how badly we would have wanted to protect him.”

Higgs silently agreed. They kept going for hours. They barely even stopped to take a break. The only time they actually paused so they could look back was when enough time had passed that the voidout must have occurred. But even then, they couldn’t see any signs. They were too far away by that point, though both suspected a voidout might be seen from this distance. So if they weren’t picking up anything, there was a chance right? Cliff had made it in time? The incinerator had been up and running? They would see him again?

For both, they feared growing to hopeful, and yet the idea that Cliff had made it was the only thing keeping them from breaking.

As promised, they didn’t really stop though, not even to sleep. They were certainly far enough away now that even if the voidout had been delayed, they would be safe. However, they followed Cliff’s words. Their bones ached. Their muscles screamed at them to not take a step more. But they kept pushing on.

For once, when BTs started to appear in the timefall, Sam didn’t automatically take the lead. Higgs had a feeling that his DOOMS abilities weren’t going to remain stable. Whatever he’d pulled inside himself would eventually get depleted and he’d be back to no longer having DOOMS again. At least that was his theory. For the moment though, he led the way as his eyes moved over thick umbilical chords dripping with black tar that reached into the sky.

After seeing the sky go from day to night and back again twice, they finally made it.

South Knot was the first major city Sam and Higgs had been in outside of Middle Knot. The surrounding landscape was different, but thankfully the entrance to the city was familiar. They headed into the distribution center, Sam taking the lead as they got to the terminal. Sam put in the orders. He decided he would also put in the ones for the preppers they’d skipped so that someone else could finish them. Or maybe they would take them up again when they had a chance. For the moment though, they put all their packages onto the conveyor belt and—

Now what? Cliff hadn’t fully explained where they would stay. Sam had even wondered if there was a place to stay. Maybe they would just continue to sleep outside when they had a chance, just constantly making deliveries. Was there someone they should talk to now that they were here? How long should they wait for his dad? What were they supposed to do?

Before Sam could panic as he tried to think of their next step, a Bridges’ worker came up to them.

“You both look like you’ve been put through the ringer. Rough journey?”

“All the way from Middle Knot,” Sam replied.

The worker looked impressed, but before she could respond, Higgs desperately asked, “There’s supposed to be an incinerator near here. Two, three days away, up in the mountains?”

Sam closed his eyes. He understood Higgs’ desperation, but he’d hoped to spend one more day of simply holding onto his uncertain hope. He didn’t want to know. Especially if it was only going to make the situation worse. But it was too late. Higgs’ words couldn’t be taken back, and the worker was already talking.

“No. It got damaged in a storm, and considering we have a tar lake that’s closer to us anyways, the upkeep didn’t make sense. It’s easier to throw things in there. You know? Why do you ask?”

Higgs couldn’t look at anyone. His eyes remained glued to the ground.

No. No no no _no nonononononONONONONONONONO_ —

“We found a body near there,” Sam managed to whisper. Just stay factual. He could get through this if he just kept the emotion out of his voice. “At least a day had passed. It would have started the process soon, my…a person we were with took the body up to the incinerator. He said that even if it wasn’t running, better for it to go off up there than in an area littered with preppers.”

“Y-yes. Well that would be-or is-it sounds-that’s a noble reason to take the body all the same,” the worker finally fell on. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Sam just gave a slight nod. He just needed to stay calm. He just needed to wait for a private moment as he tried to accept that his dad was-he was—

Higgs kept his eyes on the ground.

“Listen, we’ll get a private room set up for you both. That’ll at least give you a moment to breath.”

“A private room?” asked Sam.

“I guess you lived in Middle Knot and haven’t been to any other major distribution centers, right? If you don’t know what that is?”

Sam nodded.

Higgs still didn’t move.

“Any distribution center has it set up for multiple private rooms. Most of them are empty and stay empty until a porter comes along. Considering how you guys are risking your necks for us, it’s the least we can do to give you a place to shower and rest up before you go off again. Here, I’ll take you both to your own ones”

“We just need one.”

“Right. Well, that’s-good. Yes. Leaves a room open for others. Right?”

Sam just gave a small nod of acknowledgement at the awkward way the worker was talking. It wasn’t really her fault. It was an awkward situation to be in.

They went onto the landing pad and went down. It was the first time either of them had really been inside a distribution center though Sam had once seen them bring a motorbike up from the same pad. As the lights flashed by, Sam just kept staring forward, Higgs looked at the ground, and the worker awkwardly bounced on her feet between them.

When they finally got to the room, the worker practically jolted. However, she did stick around just long enough to point out a map on the wall. “It used to show the whole country, but once our usual means of long distance communication was gone, we just didn’t have a way to keep it up to date. But the surrounding area is shown if you ever need to glance at it. You can also access it like a normal terminal, though I suppose this being your first time here, you’re not expecting any mail.”

Sam shook his head.

“Right. Right…” And then she was gone.

Sam gave the room a quick glance. He would look at it in more detail later. Right now, he just needed to decompress. He focused on the bed and sat down. He put his head in his hands and tried to just breath. He was gone then. The incinerator wouldn’t have worked even if his dad had made it in time. Once he realized that, he wouldn’t have had time to get out of the area anyways.

Did voidouts happen instantaneously? Was there a process? Had he been in pain? Oh please dear god, don’t tell him his dad had been in pain before he went—

Since Sam’s head was down and his thoughts swimming, he didn’t see how Higgs was starting to pace.

Higgs was trying. He was trying not to fall back into a pattern. He didn’t want himself to be consumed by guilt like he’d so often done when he was little. He took off the timefall protected gloves, throwing them on the ground as he went round and round in circles. He tried to control the thoughts, but they just kept slipping in. It was just so hard. Especially when the man that had taught him how to get out of that negative cycle of thought was gone.

Gone because of him.

Dead because of him.

Sam had lost his father because of him.

Because of him!

The thoughts wouldn’t stop coming, the guilt, the blaming. The first adult that had ever been kind to Higgs, that had tried to prove to him that not everyone-most people in fact-weren’t like his old man, and he’d fucked it up. He’d gotten him killed. He might as well just say he’d killed him. That was it, wasn’t it!? He’d killed Cliff. It was his fault. His fucking fault. All his god damn—

_If I’d been stronger, maybe I could have saved him._

Higgs reacted in an instant. The pent-up anger at himself, the blaming, the need to feel anything else, and then that voice in his head that didn’t quite sound like his own had him spinning around. His fist made contact with the wall. His entire chest was heaving, like he’d just screamed despite how not another sound had escaped his lips.

He almost wanted to punch the wall again. His internal voice started to talk once more. But it still didn’t sound right. It almost felt like he wasn’t the one actually thinking the thoughts, like they originated elsewhere.

_I could be stronger._

How could he be stronger? Could he have saved Cliff? He should have fucking saved him. He never should have let him go. So what if others had been saved, the man that had raised Higgs in all the right ways was dead because of him—

Before he could react again though, he felt Sam coming around him. He’d already grabbed Higgs’ fist, pulling it down and close to look over the already reddening and bruising knuckles.

The voice that had been trying to talk seemed to shut down. The dark thoughts shut down. The self-blame became muted. And then there was just Sam.

“Why the fuck would you do that?” asked Sam.

“I-I wasn’t thinking—”

“No, you weren’t,” interrupted Sam with a stern yet kind voice. His fingers carefully moved over Higgs’ knuckles before he finally looked up.

Despite everything, Sam didn’t look angry. If anything, the look made Higgs melt. He felt a little better. It wasn’t much, but it was still more than Higgs thought he could feel at the moment.

Sam took a deep breath. He took Higgs’ hand with both of his now, holding Higgs’ gently before he felt ready to look up again. “If dad is really gone…then that makes you what’s left of my family. You got that Higgs?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m just so fucking upset with myself.”

“I know. And I know I can’t just make it all go away no matter how many times I tell you I don’t blame you,” Sam softly said. “But I can’t lose you either. Sure as shit not within the same day. So please tell me that you punching the wall is as bad as it’ll get.”

“I won’t do it again,” promised Higgs. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok.”

They suddenly hugged, just needing to feel close, to hold each other. Higgs rested his head against the top of Sam’s. He murmured, “I don’t know what we’ll do now.”

“We knew this could happen,” whispered Sam. “It’s a dangerous fucking world. We knew the risks.”

“It doesn’t make it any easier.”

“No,” Sam agreed. They both pulled back but stayed in each other’s arms. “We’ll figure something out though. We’re not alone. But for tomorrow. Tonight, we need to finally rest.”

“Yeah. You can take the shower first.”

“Thanks. See about getting some ice for your hand. Hopefully you didn’t do any real damage.”

Higgs nodded. They then slowly went about the room, trying to grow as comfortable as possible considering the circumstances. They put their gear and protective suits away. Higgs managed to get some ice and lied when asked about what happened. It wasn’t like he’d left a mark or anything on the wall. They didn’t need to know.

As Sam was in the shower, Higgs finally looked around the room. It was the only thing he could think to do in order to keep his mind off of Cliff, even for a second. He nursed his hand and went to an empty space in front of the bed. At first, Higgs couldn’t imagine what it was for before he suddenly remembered the BB. He hadn’t seen another one since, but the shape looked similar from what he could remember. Was that where BBs were supposed to go when not in use?

It put a sour taste in Higgs’ mouth so he turned away. However, there wasn’t too much else in the room besides their own belongings. He finally turned to the map and terminal. He didn’t know what to look up at first, but then an idea came to him. The tears wanted to fall, but Higgs did his best to keep them at bay. He focused on the map. It was a bit difficult, but he was pretty sure he found the general area where the body had originally been found. He went through the preppers listed in the area, going over their names, information, and anything else he could find.

_He would want you to focus on the lives you’d saved._

Sam was right. Cliff would have wanted that, so Higgs did his best as he looked over the list again. It would have been so easy to say he would trade anyone for Cliff. But actually looking at the people and their recorded faces was a different story. Higgs tried to feel at least a little proud. Cliff would be proud, right? Sam would have certainly said so.

Higgs let out a tired sigh. His head went through the hologram to rest on the wall behind it.

“I still wish I could have taken your place, even though I know you wouldn’t have allowed it,” whispered Higgs.

He finally moved back when he heard the shower open up.

“Your turn.”

“Thanks.”

As Higgs took his shower, Sam did much the same thing, slowly walking around the room but not finding much to actually distract himself with. He kind of hated looking at what he thought might be meant to hold a BB, so he mostly kept his back to it. He also looked at the terminal, and what he saw actually had him feeling a bit better. If Sam could have chosen, no one would have died. And then if someone had to, he would have done it for his dad and Higgs in a heartbeat.

But if…if his dad was really dead, at least Sam could see it hadn’t been for nothing. Men and women, even children were still sleeping safe in their beds tonight thanks to Higgs. Thanks to his dad.

Of course Sam wanted to yell out how unfair it all was. Of course he wanted to punch the wall like Higgs and scream and cry and let it all out. But that wouldn’t be constructive. It wouldn’t change anything. And Sam was determined to hold onto the good in the situation, no matter how fucking broken his heart felt at the same time.

For a moment, he wondered if he would break today. There was a small part of him trying to hold on to hope. He did keep saying ‘if his dad was dead’. If anyone could somehow make it out of that situation, it would be him. But still the pain weighed on Sam as he sat there alone. Alone and tired and trying not to think that he’d held his dad for the last time—

But before that all cemented itself into his soul, Higgs was out of the shower and eventually beside him.

He just had to remind himself he wasn’t alone. Slowly, they got ready for bed.

Even after Cliff had found out about them, they hadn’t pushed their beds together or always slept next to each other. Sam still liked his own time to himself. But right now? All he wanted was to be held. And with both of them exhausted, they quickly fell asleep once Higgs was lying against Sam’s backside, an arm around his waist.

Higgs’ head went dark. He would have preferred to see nothing, to just pass out and have a break from everything. Instead, he still felt it, the pull. His eyes flickered open to see a stormy sky and dark sand. He hadn’t been to his Beach very often. Sometimes it had felt like a dream. Now his vision was crystal clear though as he looked around the semi-familiar space. It looked the same but felt different. His hand hovered over the sand and moved up. The sand moved with it, floating in the air.

Well he hadn’t been able to do that before.

Was it because it was his personal Beach? Or was it due to the sudden appearance of DOOMS? He walked along it, still pulling at the feeling. He could feel the source of it depleting, even as he shifted and changed his Beach. Small tendrils of tar were pulled out amongst the sand, dancing and moving around as Higgs shaped their movement. He dropped his hand with a tired sigh. The black tendrils splashed against the sand, slowly sinking between the grains until the black fully disappeared.

He felt better now, more in control. He wasn’t as angry, but he was tired. Tired and sad as he wondered if he could have done more.

Looking around, Higgs wondered if he could find Cliff. Was that possible? Was it right? If he succeeded, would it be Cliff that was there, or something else? Something worse assuming he really was dead. Higgs just wanted to say goodbye. He just wanted to see him one last time, to know that he’d done the best thing in a horrible situation.

He wanted to be able to tell Cliff how much he loved him. He hadn’t told it to him enough. Just once more he wanted to say it.

If he could, he wanted to say goodbye.

Higgs unceremoniously sat on the Beach, unsure of what to do.

At the same time, Sam found himself on the Beach too. He’d equally hoped for a moment of rest. He didn’t want to think right now. There was so much he would have to plan tomorrow. He just wanted to sleep. He just wanted a fucking break—

Wait.

Maybe…if he tried hard enough to find him…

Sam’s heart felt torn. If he could reach his dad, that proved it. He could figure out where he was. He would know he was safe and alive. But if he couldn’t…

Could Sam bring himself to have it confirmed? Was a little bit of ridiculous hope worth holding on to? Or should he already be working towards letting go?

Sam didn’t fucking know.

He dropped to his knees. His hair fell in front of his eyes as he bowed his head and wiped at the tears on his face. The only thing keeping him from crumbling was the thought of Higgs. Why couldn’t he have had just one quiet night? Why couldn’t he have closed his eyes, only to open them in the morning and still be in Higgs’ arms?

Sam leaned back. He blinked in surprise. He looked around, trying to see if anything else was different, but only one thing had changed. Now Higgs sat in front of him. His fingers waved in the air as black tendrils moved in between them, up and down and doing little looping motions.

“Higgs?”

He startled a little but immediately calmed. He glanced back at Sam with a sad look on his face. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

“I guess not. Wish I was though,” murmured Sam. He got up and sat down next to him. “Is this your Beach or mine?”

“I thought it was mine. Maybe…” he paused to look around. “Maybe it’s somehow both.”

“Maybe.” Sam focused on the black tendrils now. His brow furrowed as he leaned back just a little.

“It’s ok,” Higgs quickly said. “It can’t hurt you here. I think it’s because we’re in their space.”

“And you’re doing that?”

Higgs nodded again. Considering how he hadn’t come to a decision on whether or not to reach out for Cliff, and he hadn’t been able to leave his Beach to just sleep, he had elected to try and experiment with the new connection. Now, he gently took Sam’s hand. “Here, spread your fingers out.”

Sam did and continued to hold his hand up as Higgs let go. He slowly guided the black tendrils through Sam’s fingers, going round and round just like they’d just done around Higgs’ own hand.

“You think it’s because of the sudden development of DOOMS?” asked Sam.

“You actually have DOOMS. You know better than me.”

“I really don’t. I only have level two, and I’ve never heard of someone who can actually control any of the chirality and tar. Do you think you could do this outside the Beach?”

“I don’t know. Not for long if I could. Even here I can tell the source is fading because I’m using it, though not by much. What level does all that include?”

Sam shrugged. He removed his hand and Higgs dropped his own. The black tendrils hit the sand and absorbed into it. Higgs leaned against one of his knees and looked over at Sam. “I thought about finding him,” Higgs softly admitted. “But I wasn’t sure what would happen if he is…if he’s really gone.”

“I didn’t think of that,” whispered Sam. He glanced over. “We shouldn’t try. Should we?”

“Considering we don’t know what could happen, probably not. But…”

“If he’s alive, we could confirm it. Maybe.”

“We would know for sure…” Higgs trailed off.

They sat there, silently staring at the water in the distance. Was not knowing better?

It was a difficult question to answer. When they finally decided, no, it wasn’t better, even then they weren’t sure of their answer. But they’d made it and there was even less point going back and forth on the subject. Either they would try to find Cliff or they wouldn’t. No more of this in between.

When it came time to attempting it, Sam and Higgs stood up. They gripped each other and pressed their foreheads together. They just focused on Cliff, on wanting to see him, on the fear, on the desperation. They pulled on good memories and bland memories and sad memories and anything in between. They tried so fucking hard. Higgs even pulled at the connection. He still didn’t fully understand how it worked, but he was just ready to try anything by that point.

Please…

Please…

_Please—_

Sam opened his eyes. He turned away from Higgs and a deep frown became set in his face.

Higgs followed his gaze. “Who’s that?”

A woman in red stood in the water. Her back was to them as they slowly dropped their arms.

“She was with my dad once,” murmured Sam.

“I’ve never seen her before.”

“Not in Middle Knot. On the Beach. One of the times I went looking for him, she was there too.”

“Who is she?”

“Never asked. Figured he deserved some secrets,” Sam replied, despite how right now he desperately wished he had.

Why was she here? Was it because her connection to his dad was strong enough that, when unable to find him, they’d found the closest thing? But how come their connection was so strong? And why did she look the exact same from Sam’s distant memory of her? She’d definitely been an adult when Sam had been younger, but now the gap had lessened a great deal. Shouldn’t she have aged? Why was she wearing the same clothes?

Sam had a sinking feeling that his dad really was gone. Otherwise they would have been able to find him. Right? Still, if he could get an answer to even the smallest question right now, he would. He took a step forward. “Excuse me—”

In a flash, the woman whipped around. Her eyes widened. “You can’t be here.”

Sam stepped forward. “You know my father, Cliff? I know you do. Please—”

“No you can’t—” She stopped herself. Her face warped into pain and fear as red tears started to fall from her face. “You can’t be here. You can’t. You can’t. You can’t. You can’t. You can’t—”

Her hands came up and in a flash, Sam and Higgs were jolting up in bed, chests heaving and heads swiveling around. But they were safe. At least for now. They were back in the private room of the distribution center and the woman was nowhere to be seen. Slowly, their breathing got under control.

“What the fuck was that about?” asked Higgs.

“I don’t know.” Sam pushed his hair back as he looked at the time. Oh great. Not only had they failed at finding his dad. Not only did they have more questions than answers now. Not only did they not know what the hell was with that woman, or what was going on with Higgs’ DOOMS, or have any idea as to what they were going to do next, but they’d also managed to sleep for only about thirty minutes.

Higgs noticed too. His back hit the bed again as he let out a tired groan. “I didn’t think it was possible to feel more exhausted, but I do now.”

“Fuck,” Sam muttered as he fell down next to him.

“Do you know the woman’s name?”

“Not a clue.”

“But you saw her before.”

“Only once. I found my dad on the Beach a few times over the years, but only her once. He said she wasn’t important. I thought…I don’t know. I guess as a kid I thought maybe work related? Something else? I’d honestly kind of forgotten about it until now.”

“I’d say she’s pretty fucking important.”

“Well now, yeah.” Sam rubbed at his eyes before rolling over and looking at Higgs. “So I guess…he’s honestly…”

“I would have agreed before. But after that? I don’t know what to fucking believe.”

“There’s too many questions now. Too many unknown variables. Fuck. I just want to rest.”

“Then we’ll rest and we’ll try to figure out all that shit tomorrow.”

“Can you rest? After that?”

“Probably not, but I’m going to fucking try.”

Sam let out a tired sigh of agreement. They shifted around, trying to get comfortable again.

Higgs threw his arm around Sam’s waist once more.

Then they moved so they were facing each other, foreheads almost touching.

Then onto their backs.

Then their sides.

The hours ticked by, slow and painfully dull. Eventually, Sam opened his eyes. He leaned up and looked at the time. He didn’t know if he was thankful or not that it was morning. He didn’t want to have to think about what would come next. But he’d also hated lying there for hours, unable to really fall asleep. At least if he started working towards what was next, maybe his mind wouldn’t drag itself back to his dad so much.

Higgs moved up. He looked as tired as Sam felt.

“Didn’t sleep?” asked Sam.

“I think I dozed for a bit. Better than nothing,” Higgs muttered as he wiped at his eyes. He took a long, tired breath. “So…”

“I want to go home,” Sam admitted. “I want to feel safe. I want to sleep in my own bed. But that would be a waste of a long trip.”

Higgs slightly nodded. “Cliff would agree. No point wasting an opportunity. And we still need to bring the twins their things back.”

“Shit. I didn’t even…”

A cold, numbing sensation seeped into their bones.

“Oh god, we’re going to have to tell them.”

“How the hell are we supposed to do that?”

They both looked at each other, gazes equally lost and helpless. Somehow dealing with their own grief seemed preferable than telling the twins. Just imagining how their shoulders would slowly drop. The realization of it falling on them as they saw only Sam and Higgs walking back and not Cliff.

“We’ll deal with that when we get back,” Higgs finally said. He tried to force his mind away from those thoughts as he murmured, “Which I guess means, we need to get to work.”

“Yeah, I guess we do.”

“How long should we stay down here?”

“I don’t know. I think I’ll have a better idea if I can look at the available orders, get a feel for the land. Maybe I can plan out a route or something.”

“Ok.” Higgs liked the sound of that. Just keep moving for now. It wasn’t like he could just forget about everything that had happened, but at least focusing on physical work would make it harder for his mind to try and fall back on everything else.

They both got up. They wanted to sleep, but seeing as that hadn’t happened, they decided to forgo round two of just rolling around in the bed. They got the protective suits on along with their gear, both checking each other. Sam’s hand paused as he made sure the plate on Higgs’ shoulder was secure.

This was where his dad would come in. He would double check it, even as Sam and Higgs would say, “We’ve got this down by now. You really don’t have to.” But it would still feel good as Cliff looked over them. It wasn’t that he hadn’t trusted their judgement. He’d just wanted to make sure they were safe.

But now….

Sam finally dropped his hand with a tired sigh. One look at Higgs showed that he understood. That he remembered too. They both missed that warmth and kindness. Nothing would ever really replace it, but Sam murmured, “I love you.”

“Love ya too pipsqueak.”

Sam huffed in response, but it brought a smile to both of them, even if the edges were still sad. They shared a small kiss before pressing their foreheads together. They breathed each other in, held each other, and finally pulled back.

“Time to work,” Sam said again.

Higgs nodded and they headed out to the platform that would lead up to the ground floor of the distribution center. Sam went straight to the terminal. Higgs let him figure everything out. It was more his thing and Higgs trusted his judgement. Instead, Higgs finally looked around. It looked a lot like the distribution center in Middle Knot. There were some minor differences. A lot more vehicles for one, likely due to the more even terrain in this area. People moved around. Most were Bridges employees, whether they actually worked here or were porters it was hard to say. There was also another insignia though, one Higgs didn’t recognize. It was on several different people that looked to be porters, but their colors and suits showed they weren’t part of Bridges.

“So you’re one of the new porters.”

Higgs jumped. He turned around to see a teenager standing behind him. He first looked around, trying to figure out how the hell she’d snuck up on him. Upon finding no clues, his eyes focused on her. Her light hair ran down in braids along the side of her head before combining into one running down her back. She had a short contraption attached to her hip. It was stick shaped and Higgs had no idea what it was or what it was for. She was shorter than Sam, and if Higgs were in a better mood, he’d probably laugh and comment on how Sam had finally found his match when it came to a perfect poker face. He personally couldn’t read anything from her. For the moment though, Higgs simply muttered, “What do you mean?”

“What? You think not everyone’s heard of you by now? It’s rare we get anyone from Middle Knot. People talk. Even if they hadn’t, I’d know you were new.”

“Oh yeah? And how is that?”

“Because you’re not Bridges and you’re not mine. And I pride myself in recruiting solo porters as often as possible.”

Higgs couldn’t help but scoff. “Yeah, ok. If you’re going to lie about random shit like that, make sure it’s a lie someone will actually believe.”

“You don’t?”

She didn’t look particularly upset. More of a combination of interested and amused. Higgs muttered, “I mean, obviously you’re part of the other group. I can see that by the outfit. But you’re what? Fifteen?”

Well that seemed to irritate her more than the whole lying accusation. Her lips formed a small pout. In a harsh tone she said, “Sixteen.”

“Well you’re still a fucking kid. So obviously you can’t already be running shit.”

“Don’t call me kid.” Higgs had definitely found a touchy subject. She continued though and added, “Besides, you can’t be much older. And you’ll find I do run ‘shit’. I run Fragile Express. We picked up where the UCA originally left off, and we’ve been doing it ever since.”

Higgs shook his head. “No offense kid—” Her eye twitched at that. “—but who the hell died and made you the leader of a delivery company?”

“My dad did. A year ago, in a voidout.”

Oh.

Well Higgs had really shoved his foot in his mouth on that one, hadn’t he?

“So with all that out of the way,” she held out her hand, “let’s start again. I’m what keeps the entire land from South Knot to Lake Knot running, plus a nice ship I inherited which connects Lake Knot and Port Knot. Fragile, of Fragile Express. And you are?”

Higgs probably would have made fun of her name if she’d started with that. Instead, he simply said, “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you’re not so narcissistic as to have named the company after yourself.” Considering he’d also unknowingly been a little bit of a shit, he also did her the honor of shaking her hand.

His words did seem to amuse her, and she said, “My father named it. Trust me. If we hadn’t already had a reputation for ourselves, I would have changed it.”

Higgs’ lips quirked up at that.

“And your name?”

“Higgs.”

“No last name? No title? Nothing you work for?”

“Higgs Porter if you need one,” he said with a shrug. “The last one I threw away.”

“Fair enough. So, Higgs Porter, what are you and your companion doing in South Knot for the first time?”

Higgs hesitated. He glanced back to where Sam had finally decided on something. He was putting it in as Higgs said, “It’s kind of a long story. And not really a pleasant one.”

“Don’t we all have those?” asked Fragile. However, instead of pushing, she said, “Then how long will you be here?”

“Don’t know. We’re kind of just figuring things out as we go along right now.”

“Then how about a guide?”

“Ok, listen. I may have only known you for about a minute now, but I’m just going to get ahead of you on this. You’re not recruiting me. Or Sam. We do plan on going home eventually.”

That just made Fragile smile though. “Works for me. We’ve been looking to expand towards Middle Knot.”

Higgs couldn’t help but laugh. “You really don’t let up, do you?”

“There is a reason I’ve managed to hold my company together, and it is more than simply being my father’s daughter.”

“Fair enough,” said Higgs. He thought about it for a quick second. He could tell her no. He was sure if he really put his foot down, it would tell her off. But even in this small talk, he’d managed to laugh and not think of Cliff. And having a guide certainly couldn’t hurt. “If you still want to come, you can. But you’re not recruiting us.”

“The future is rarely so certain,” Fragile replied. She walked by Higgs and up to Sam. Higgs followed as she stuck her hand out to him as well. Whereas Sam might have actively avoided the gesture when he was younger, now he very slowly shook hers in return. He did let go just as quickly though as a slight chill ran through his arm and up his shoulder. Fragile introduced herself.

“Sam,” he said.

“Well, Higgs and Sam Porter, let’s see what we have.” She leaned down, looking over the packages and their destinations as Sam gave a confused look Higgs’ way.

“She has elected to come with us in the hopes of recruiting us,” Higgs said with a roll of his eyes.

“For who?”

“For me.”

“Wait, you help run the other company around here?” asked Sam, having noticed the different uniforms too.

“I own it. And before you say anything, you two really aren’t that ancient so you really don’t have a foothold when it comes to age.”

“Ok, ok. But you don’t really have to come,” Sam said.

“Why? Because you’re so certain you’ll say no too? We’ll see.”

“Well that, and can you even take care of yourself?”

“You think I’ve managed to keep this company running at sixteen and I can’t?”

“Ok, stupid question,” Sam said.

Higgs couldn’t help but snicker a bit. However, Fragile easily put them both on a level field as she said, “Don’t get too cheeky. I’d say your question was far more embarrassing.”

“That is fair as well,” Higgs quickly said. Sam gave him a look and Higgs mouthed that he’d explain it later. Or maybe Fragile would tell him. Her way of talking was pretty weird and things that Higgs would have figured more private and difficult to talk about seemed to roll off her tongue easily. Or maybe time had simply dulled the wounds.

“Then it’s settled then. We should leave now while it’s still early,” Fragile said. Then, as if to just prove her ownership, she yelled at some of the Fragile Express employees within the distribution center. The two men and one woman were much older than all of them, but they quickly stood at attention and called out, “Yes sir!” when Fragile was done.

Sam and Higgs looked at each other and shrugged. To be honest, it wasn’t the strangest thing they’d seen or heard of.

Fragile picked up two of the smaller packages and Sam and Higgs divided up the rest.

“Alright Higgs and Sam Porter, let’s show you what South Knot has to offer.” And with that, Fragile led them out of the distribution center.


	16. A Bridge to an Oddity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! So, after this I'll try to keep with at least weekly updates, but I know I can't keep doing the two to three updates a week I have been. One, the chapters have consistently kept getting longer, and two I've started school. I still want to stay consistent and like I said, I'll try to keep updating weekly from now on, but just know the wait will be a little longer from here on out.
> 
> A massive thank you again for all the kudos and comments it seriously means a lot and I'm glad you're all enjoying this story! I'm certainly enjoying writing it!

It was like being back in the army. Don’t bring emotion into it. Emotion made you hesitate. Emotion got you killed. Stay factual. Stay focused. Do not fuck anything up.

Cliff moved as quickly as any human could with a corpse swaying on his back. He went up paths, climbed over rocks, pulled himself up, and tried to stay balanced at precarious heights. It had been several years since he’d come this way. The landscape had degraded thanks to the timefall, but what had once been was still etched into the stone. The farther Cliff went, the more he recognized and the faster he walked.

He didn’t think about Sam.

He didn’t think about Higgs.

He couldn’t.

The timefall came and went in quick succession. The sun started to dip farther and farther. The body was getting closer to detonating.

Finally, Cliff moved over a ridge and spotted the incinerator. His heart started to drop. Still he moved forward. Just in case. Just to see. None of the lights were on though, and the structure looked even worse the closer Cliff got. His paced slowed. He walked a little ways inside to get out of the new squall of timefall. What he saw made him drop to his knees and bow his head.

Everything that he’d been pushing away came into focus.

So this was how it was going to be? If he’d known this was the outcome, he would have taken a second to properly say goodbye to his boys. Eighteen years with Sam. Almost six years with Higgs. It wasn’t enough.

With a tired sigh, Cliff pulled the body off his back and laid it down.

He’d trained them well though. Hadn’t he? In life and the dangers of the world? They would make it. They still had each other. He wasn’t leaving them all alone. Right?

His eyes turned to the body as it degraded further and faster. It was too late. He couldn’t outrun the blast. Big or small, the radius would cover any conceivable distance he could cover on his own. He shifted so he was sitting cross legged. He took a deep breath.

“I love you Sam, Higgs. Please, please watch out for each other. I know you will.”

Cliff closed his eyes and waited for the end.

At first, it was like nothing was happening. Cliff almost opened them again.

Then a shock so alien, completely indescribable, hit him all at once.

It was as if his body, all physical awareness simply disappeared. His mind was still intact, but unable to process that sense of being. And then a wave of cold fell over him. He felt like he was floating. His eyes opened, if he even still had eyes at this point, to view the underwater world in front of him. He didn’t need to breath. He didn’t even need to consciously move. He just floated. Floated and floated until he saw it, a shining beacon under the ocean.

He reached it, and his arms came up and around Lisa. She smiled, so kind, so gentle. She looked as beautiful as every day Cliff had seen her, even in this other world and with all color turned to blue. She wiped at his face, and every pain, every regret, every hurt seemed to be wiped away with it. But then her smile turned sad.

Her voice was heard as her lips moved, though it felt like so much more than simple speech. It was like her soul was talking.

_I’m sorry my love. You can’t be with me yet._

Their lips met. Or maybe it was the essence of their very being. Cliff felt safe. At peace.

And then he was flung backwards and out. His body slowly, achingly began drawing him back across the sand as color returned to himself and his world. More concrete sensations and thoughts started to return as his hands tried to grip at the sand. He tried to keep himself from moving, but to no avail.

Then Amelie appeared, crouched down and in front of him. His body froze and he finally had a chance to breath as he looked back. An understanding seemed to pass over her face.

“So that’s how we are connected.”

Then another look passed over her eyes. It was one of desperation, of fear. Something about it was off though. Like there was something inhuman lurking behind her face. It chilled Cliff to his very soul as her eyes finally focused back on him.

Her voice spoke of desperation but certainty, like she knew Cliff would keep the promise. “Keep him safe. Don’t let him come back here.”

“Sam?” Cliff automatically asked. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Just keep him safe!”

And with that, Cliff was fully pushed back and off the Beach. His vision went black. He felt like he was floating again. And then his back hit the earth hard and he knew for a fact that every old, physical sensation was back again. He turned over and immediately threw up, black tar falling from his lips and spilling across the ground and his front.

Cliff spit the last bit of it out before finally pushing himself up and looking.

“Fuck.”

In front of him stood a crater. He’d seen the aftereffects of one. He’d seen the tar lakes that could form within. But he’d never seen one so new with a handprint still at its center. How had he survived that? He’d been right next to the body, yet now he stood on the ridge that he’d previously come down from. It didn’t make any sense. He should be dead beyond a shadow of a doubt. He’d felt dead. Not in a way like he’d been horribly sad and wished to die, and not in the way that he might have felt like death in the army, being pinned on all sides and thinking hope wasn’t coming.

No, he’d been dead. Actually gone from this plane, this level of existence. And Lisa? It had been her. Hadn’t it? She’d been there, waiting for him. And then…

This. How did any of this make sense?

Cliff looked around. He tested it all out, making sure he really was in the real world for a second. His body certainly felt like it was back. Everything was hurting once more, and he felt utterly exhausted. He would rest in a moment, but after he got away from the crater and could find a good enough shelter to rest under.

As he slowly went back down the mountain side, he could at least breath in relief that Sam and Higgs had been safe from the blast. They were probably almost to South Knot by now. Maybe they were already there if…

He realized he didn’t even know what day it was.

There’d been no sense of motion in the place he’d just been. Time hadn’t existed, and even trying to line up the events in a linear order felt wrong, though that was the best way his mind could process it. And then Amelie at the end…

Had she meant the Beach in general when she’d said Sam shouldn’t come back? Or had she meant her own Beach? Sam had only been there once. And the only reason was to find himself, not Amelie. Why or how would he ever end up there again? Why did Cliff have to keep him safe now?

It made him want to run back down the steep paths and straight to South Knot, but he was too old and tired to do that. He just had to trust that Sam and Higgs would be ok during the few days it would take Cliff to reach the city again.

About halfway down, Cliff paused underneath a rocky overhang and took the time to rest a little. He didn’t really sleep though, just dozed for a bit before he finally forced himself to get up again. He would only sleep in short bursts and walk the rest of the time in order to get to South Knot faster.

As Cliff began his journey back, Higgs and Sam had made it to South Knot, attempted to sleep the night, and had met Fragile the following morning.

Despite the grief they were currently feeling, having another person around actually made it a little easier. They could both acknowledge they were still pushing some of the grieving process off. But at least for now, Fragile mostly distracted them from the depressing thoughts.

She was an interesting person to say the least, but both supposed that was in part because of the unique position she’d been put in. She was direct, a bit pushy, and yet guarded and obscure at other times. She talked about the people under her like a family. She felt proud of the preppers and people out in the middle of nowhere that could rely on her.

At one point, Sam asked, “Are you trying to take over for the UCA? Because it sure seems like it.”

“Not take over. Fill in a gap they cannot. Even if they improve their connections south and west, they are centralized on the east. They only get weaker the farther out they go, thus the more gaps.”

“And you fill them in,” Higgs finished.

“Exactly.”

“So what’s your center then?” asked Sam. “Here? Port Knot?”

“Neither, it’s me.”

Higgs shook his head with a bemused smile. “Alright, I take back what I said about the narcissism thing. You are narcissistic.”

Fragile smirked at that. “Nope. Only practical. A center that can move to where it is most needed is much more efficient. But then, I’m a delivery service. Bridges and the UCA are a government. They have other concerns beyond a simple want to help people.”

“That’s an understatement,” Sam muttered under his breath.

“Now there’s a story,” Fragile murmured with interest. However, instead of immediately asking like Sam expected, she just changed the conversation. Again, she was so abrupt and yet set boundaries at seemingly random points. A place where she chose not to put a boundary was with the occurrence of a timefall squall though.

There was no sign of an upside down rainbow, and Fragile didn’t immediately go on edge, suggesting the area wasn’t a common one for BTs. However she did ask, “Either of you have DOOMS? Best to know if I need to hold your hands.”

Higgs rolled his eyes. Sam quickly shook his head. “Definitely don’t have to do that.”

“So then yes?”

“Yeah, level two.”

At the same time, Higgs murmured, “Sort of.”

She looked at them both curiously. “Both of you look confused. So, then this is recent. Have you truly never encountered BTs?”

“No,” defended Higgs. “I’ve been around them before. But this just…happened one day.”

“DOOMS doesn’t just happen. You are born with it, or not.”

“Yeah, well I guess I’m neither,” Higgs shot back.

“If you are going to lie to me, you might as well give me a more convincing one,” she said with a knowing look.

“Ok, I fucking get the callback. But I’m not lying.”

“You see the chiral clouds?”

“The clouds? Can’t everyone see a squall coming?” asked Higgs. Sam looked just as confused.

“Not those. The small, see-through clouds that float in the shape of a person that is connected to the ground. That is what those with high enough levels of DOOMS see.”

“But higher levels can see them more clearly, right?”

“Sometimes you can guess at finer details within, but the clearest is in their chiral forms…why?”

Sam looked over. “Don’t tell me they look different. Are you even seeing BTs?”

“They’re definitely BTs. But they’re not…floating particles or anything. They’re made of tar.”

“So not see-through?” asked Fragile.

“Definitely not. They were thick and dark-definitely still human shaped-but they were so dense the tar dripped from the bodies and umbilical cords. But maybe…maybe they’ll get less physical after a while. And eventually they’ll just disappear again.”

“And then no more DOOMS?” Fragile suggested.

“That’s my theory at least. But this is the first time it’s ever happened.”

“We’ve come across BTs plenty of times,” Sam added. “He’s never even slightly sensed them before.”

“Hmm, perhaps there’s more in common than simple porters here.”

“Like what?” asked Higgs.

“The prepper we’re coming up upon is a good friend of mine. I think you’ll like her.” And just like that, she’d changed the subject again. Considering she still hadn’t pressed too much on what tragedy had befallen them on the way to South Knot, for the moment they let her continue in carrying the conversation. She asked other questions, but never if they wanted to join her company again. When they were finally done with the deliveries for the day, Higgs thought for sure she would ask as they put in the returning packages for South Knot.

Instead, she surprised them again. “Not enough reason to prove myself today. Tomorrow, I will convince you.”

“Will you now?” asked Higgs.

“And what about your people?” Sam said. “Will they be alright with you ditching them for a second day?”

“I can catch up with them tonight. It will be fine.” Fragile showed a slightly wider smile. “And I see you didn’t even question my coming. I mark that as a good sign.”

“Hey,” Higgs quickly said. “Don’t read too much into that!”

“Too late. Until tomorrow, Higgs and Sam Porter.”

With that, she walked away to some different nearby workers with the Fragile Express insignia on their suits. Sam and Higgs finished putting everything on the conveyor belts and then mercifully turned in. This time, their bodies finally let them collapse into a deep, dark sleep. No dozing in and out. No Beach whatsoever.

When they finally woke, they didn’t exactly feel better. But their bodies no longer wanted to collapse, and their previous aches had lessened a great deal. It was the start of a new beginning. Neither had chosen it, but it had been the hand they’d been dealt. It didn’t matter how much they hated it. They would have to learn to live with it eventually.

Sam still wasn’t sure how long he wanted to stay in South Knot. After finally getting a full night’s rest, it was less because he felt they needed to wait for his dad. There was still a small part hoping, begging for him to come back like a god damn miracle. But he needed to be practical. Now more than ever. But what was the best option? Should they only stay another day, two, and then plan for an extensive trip back up, stopping by preppers all along the way like they’d done on the way down? Or should they stay here for a while? Maybe a week as they put out their feelers and got a better sense of the people here. Then they could grab the twins’ items and make a straight shot back to Middle Knot.

Both would take about the same amount of time. So what should they do?

Sam and Higgs decided to at least do one more series of deliveries around the area. They would finish that, go to bed, and then finally decide on a choice, or at least try to. For now though, they just went back to the conveyor belt. Since Fragile had given them a sense of the land, along with explaining some of the places they hadn’t visited, Sam had a better idea about how to pick out the orders. Higgs leaned against him, occasionally voicing an opinion as they were all picked out—

“Hello again.”

“Shit! You’re quieter than he is!” Higgs said. They both turned to see Fragile back.

“Good to know one of you can be quiet.”

“Hey, I can be quiet too,” said Higgs.

“Really? We’ll see if proof shows today.”

Higgs let out a long groan. It actually made Sam laugh as a small smile showed on his lips. “I can already see this becoming a thing.”

“A thing,” murmured Fragile with a small smile. “So I take it neither of you want to get rid of me yet.”

“Oh great,” said Higgs as he dramatically threw his hands at Sam. “She’s never going to leave us alone now.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Sam defended.

“I wasn’t going to leave you alone anyways. I’m in this for the long hall. When you go to Middle Knot, I’ll join you with a group.”

“There really is no need,” Sam tried.

However, Fragile shook her head. “It is beneficial for me anyways. Best to kill two birds no? Unless if you wish to make the journey back by yourself.”

Higgs and Sam looked at each other. They almost said yes. Besides, seeing as she hadn’t been up there, it wasn’t like her joining them would make navigation or anything easier. But…

Just days upon days of just Higgs and Sam? Both would have liked the sound of that if not for their circumstances. Right now though, they wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it. Their minds would just fall back to Cliff. Because of that, Sam said, “We’ll tell you when we’ve decided to head back. If you want to bring a group along, you’re more than welcomed to. We’ll also be able to carry way more working together.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I promise not to disappoint.”

With that, they started a second day of delivery. This one went much like yesterday with Fragile leading the conversations and the way. Another comment about her getting back at Higgs for their first meeting was made though so Sam did ask, “What exactly happened?”

“Shoved my foot in my mouth,” grumbled Higgs with an embarrassed look down.

“He wondered who would trust me with a company. I explained. A voidout can quickly change your original plans and the shape of your family, no?”

“Yeah, it can,” admitted Sam with a tired sigh.

“At least I am still close to mine. I am lucky with what I’ve had, more so what I am able to hold on to.”

“It’s impressive,” Higgs agreed.

“I hope to move farther west eventually. But the mountains make traversal difficult and even less information gets from those regions. The west coast is still shrouded in mystery and rumors as to who has survived out there. If we were all connected, it would not be as big a problem. But even now we only estimate at the world and the way it changes. We don’t have any consistent way of mapping out the lands and the ever-changing threats.” Her voice and face turned serious. “Like now.”

The three of them quickly ducked down. Sam’s eyes immediately went to the weapons, assessing the models before he let out a relieved sigh. “Not terrorists. Just mules.”

“Still a problem,” Fragile said.

“But one that won’t get us killed,” Higgs replied. “Alright, there’s enough tall grass that way if we want to risk it. Or we can try and backtrack that—shit.”

A truck started to drive near them before stopping. More mules jumped out.

“Trying to sneak that way it is,” Sam said in regards to Higgs’ first idea.

“If necessary, can you fight?” asked Fragile.

“Can you?” asked Higgs.

“Hmm, too many for me to just take, but with you two, we should be fine.”

“Too many-how the hell would you take almost all of them on your own?” asked Higgs.

Before they could get into it though, Sam said, “Guys? Maybe when we’re not in the middle of them with the risk at being spotted?”

“Ok, fair.”

“At least this isn’t their normal territory,” Fragile quickly said. “They can’t ping us. We have time. Slow and steady and we should get out.”

Sam and Higgs both nodded in agreement. The three of them looked around once more. They waited a second as a mule came dangerously near. When they turned though, they finally felt safe enough to follow the long grass. They kept at it for a bit before freezing again. Two mules started to come dangerously close. Shit, the grass wasn’t that thick, especially where they were now. They were going to be seen. They were going to get fucking caught—

“Over here!”

The three of them reacted instantly. They started to run for it. Get out. Stay safe. Keep the packages safe. But when Higgs glanced over his shoulder, he realized he was much faster than the others. One look and Fragile was gone. Higgs had no idea where she had disappeared to. He didn’t get a chance to look for her either as his eyes zeroed in on Sam. A mule grabbed his back and pulled. Sam stumbled. He pulled one package down to use as a weapon. He didn’t turn around in time before the mule clocked him in the head though.

It didn’t matter that the worst a mule would do was knock you out. Higgs had just lost Cliff and seeing Sam in danger sent every ounce of anger and fear coursing through his veins.

“Don’t fucking touch him!”

Higgs was too far away. Yet still he reached out.

Black tar bubbled up near Sam and the mule. A form that almost looked like a hand came up, wrapping around the mule’s leg. Higgs clenched his fist and pulled. The man took a knee and Sam took the opportunity to slam the package up into his jaw, knocking him out. Sam’s eyes fell on the black bubbling tar, but he didn’t get a chance to react to it as another mule closed in.

Higgs responded instantly. It wasn’t like he was thinking about every small action. There was just one thought firing off in his head. They wouldn’t touch Sam again. They wouldn’t fucking touch him!

The tar came up and grabbed at the man’s legs. Warped hands and gooey tentacles of black crept up the mule and stuck him in place. It gave Sam time to run closer and knock him out too. It was also enough time so that many of the other mules final saw the tar. They all froze. One had his staff suddenly stolen from him and was shocked to the ground. Fragile had seemingly appeared behind him and she quickly turned to the truck. It had driven over, but the driver had also slowed upon seeing Higgs pull the tar out of the ground. Fragile managed an expert throw. As the truck stalled, electricity crackling from it and the drive was forced to jump, she turned and yelled at them.

“Run!”

The three of them quickly did. Higgs glanced back regularly, still faster than them, but they both managed to keep up and the mules thankfully didn’t follow them. Even so, they found a spot and ducked down to hide, just in case. However, after several long minutes, they could finally say they were in the clear.

“Are you hurt?” Sam immediately asked.

“Me? You’re the one who gut sucker punched in the face.”

“Yeah, but you’re crying.”

Higgs wiped at his eyes. The tears were coming, quick and fast. Though he couldn’t say for sure, he would guess that they’d begun the moment he’d managed to pull out the tar.

“A chiral allergy?” asked Fragile.

“I think so,” Higgs said. He wiped at his face a couple more times, but it was pointless. He was just going to have to let the tears run their coarse as they poured down his face.

“Quite a useful talent.”

“Useful? I’m just wondering what the fuck is happening to me,” sighed Higgs. “And it isn’t exactly comforting that no one else can apparently do this either.”

“Do not worry. You are not a lone oddity in this world.”

The way she said it had Sam and Higgs curiously looking at her.

“Yeah,” Higgs slowly said, “hang on. How the hell did you get behind that one mule? And where did you go? You just disappeared.”

“Your nose is bleeding,” Sam suddenly said. “Did you get hurt?”

“Perfectly fine. It happens,” she replied with a quick wipe of her hand. “And what did I say? You’re not the only oddity. Let’s keep moving. Shall we?”

With that, she got up and started walking again. Sam and Higgs slowly followed, both curious and confused. Neither pushed though. For one thing, her admittance was big enough on its own. And if she didn’t feel comfortable fully explaining what she meant yet, well that was her choice. Higgs was just thankful for her words. Whatever she’d done back there, the fact that she claimed to have her own thing comforted Higgs and made him feel less like a freak.

As they walked, Higgs’ tears started to slow, but still weren’t stopping yet. Sam gently wiped at them. “You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, just tired. Like I worked a muscle I haven’t messed with in years or something.”

“An interesting, but accurate analogy I think,” Fragile said. “You thought it would lessen in time though? Your DOOMS connections?”

Higgs nodded. “I can already tell that drained a lot of what was there.” He waved at his tears. “But clearly I still have it for now.”

She nodded in agreement. “Well done both of you. I can see how you made it down south. And a good team can make a good company better.”

Higgs and Sam both managed to laugh at that.

“There it is,” Higgs said with a shake of his head.

“Still a no?” Fragile asked with a small smile.

“The thought is appreciated, but really, this is just what we’re used to,” Sam said.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying something new. But I’ll respect it,” Fragile said, the ‘for now’ part almost understood.

It made Higgs laugh again. She certainly was tenacious and despite himself, he was finding that he truly enjoyed her company.

They managed to finish the initial orders in good time considering the small fight. However, they were still a way’s off from South Knot, and it had gotten dark by then. Sam and Higgs might have said to continue on, but it started to rain and the terrorists were more active in their general path.

Fragile had a solution though, backtracking to a prepper who willingly opened his bunker door for them.

“Wait, we can actually spend the night here?” asked Sam.

Fragile smiled. “It pays to be a part of Fragile Express. We do have a reputation I continue to uphold and connections I hold dear.”

“So, others let you crash if you need to?” asked Higgs.

“Several, yes. Not everyone. It is their choice. But the hospitality is always appreciated if they allow it.”

With that said and done, they all got a nice meal and a place to sleep thanks to the prepper. Sam and Higgs also got to know a bit more about them and also what the relationship between the people of the land and Fragile Express was like. Not that she could have orchestrated it, but neither Sam nor Higgs would have put it past her to purposefully show this off to try and convince them some more.

They all slept soundly. In the morning, they went back to two others to grab some more orders. It was a little out of the way. However, it made sense to take advantage of their situation rather than going straight back to South Knot with the low load they had. When they did finally get back to the city, it wasn’t quite noon, but close. They delivered the orders and Fragile asked, “So what now? Another day? Or will you leave tomorrow?”

“We’ll…how about this?” Sam said. Considering the help she’d given them, and that she seemed a good person from their short time together, he answered, “We’ll decide tonight and we’ll tell you. Ok?”

“Alright. Message me on the city’s internal network. And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” they both agreed.

As Fragile walked away, Higgs said, “I need another shower.”

“You realize we stayed outside for like weeks without any proper way of washing, right?” snorted Sam.

“I can handle that. But I still feel…gross from yesterday. I’m glad I did it. Helped you. But it’s just not a fun sensation pulling that power from there.”

“I understand,” Sam kindly said as he realized what Higgs was referring to. “And you didn’t have to do that. If it’s really that bad, I’d rather you didn’t at all.”

“It wasn’t that bad. And I’d use it in a heartbeat to help you again,” Higgs replied. He stretched and added, “We can do another few deliveries this afternoon if you want though or save it for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow. I need a break and we both really need to weigh our options on whether to stay longer or go.”

Higgs sighed. “That’s fair. Let’s get downstairs then.”

They walked to the platform and headed down. They were almost to their room when a Bridges employee stopped them.

“Hey, there was a porter looking for people matching your descriptions. You are the ones from Middle Knot, right?”

“Yes,” Sam slowly said.

“Well, he’s in a room two doors down from the private room you’ve been using, on the right.”

“Thanks,” murmured Higgs.

“You’re welcome.”

He walked away and Sam and Higgs shared a look.

It couldn’t…

No way…

They tried not to move too quickly. They’d pretty much given up hope. They’d started the grieving process. But maybe…

Just maybe…

They came to the door. Since it was occupied and it wasn’t like they had any clearance of any kind, it didn’t automatically open. Sam tried not to sound too desperate as he knocked on the door.

They waited.

And…

There was a reason for this. Miracles didn’t actually happen. But Sam and Higgs would care about the how later. In the moment, the door opened, and they immediately grabbed Cliff. The three of them fell into each other’s arms, hugging tight and not letting go for the longest time.

“My boys.”

Higgs cried a bit more openly though tears fell just as fast down Sam’s face. He was actually there. He was ok. Sam managed to speak first.

“We searched for you. On the Beach. But when we didn’t find anything we figured-we thought—”

“It’s alright I’m here now,” Cliff kindly said. He stayed there, only finally moving to the bed when Sam and Higgs let go. They both quickly sat next to him and he put his arms around his boys again.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Higgs. “I thought I’d—”

“You did the right thing. But I am glad I’m here to tell you that.”

“Me too.”

“We talked to the people here,” Sam added. “They said the incinerator up there was out of use. I thought-I didn’t think—”

“I’ll be honest. I don’t know how I made it out of there. I just know I’m incredibly grateful I did.”

Higgs fully turned towards Cliff, pressing his face to the crook of Cliff’s shoulder. Sam rested his head against his dad on the other side.

“I love you,” Higgs got out. “I don’t say it enough and I’m sorry I don’t say it enough but I do.”

“It’s ok Higgs. I know. But thank you for saying it,” Cliff said. He threaded his fingers through Higgs’ hair, helping to comfort and ground him.

Sam said. “I wasn’t sure what to do. To stay longer or go. You always have an answer, but I didn’t have any and just…I didn’t know what to do.”

“You would have figured it out. You both would have.”

“I know. I’m just glad I didn’t have to,” sighed Sam.

They all held each other for a moment longer. However, after the wave of emotion had calmed and passed, Higgs pulled back a little. “I-I’m sure you’re tired. But we…”

“Right,” Sam said. “We should probably tell you what happened.”

“What happened?” asked Cliff, immediately serious as he looked between them.

“Um…I guess most important thing first,” Higgs slowly said.

“We did try to find you. On the Beach,” Sam repeated. “But we couldn’t. We found a woman instead. The same one that was there when I first found you on the Beach.”

“She didn’t hurt you. Did she?”

Higgs shook his head. “No, but it was really weird.”

“She said we couldn’t be there.”

“Well more specifically said ‘you can’t be here’,” Higgs replied. “But yeah. She seemed really upset.”

“And her eyes cried red. I think it was blood.”

“Who was she?”

They both watched as Cliff let out a heavy sigh. “She’s a woman that I understood best in our first conversation, and slowly less and less as the years have come and gone.”

“So you’ve known her for a long time?” asked Higgs.

“Since the day Sam was born. She found us,” Cliff admitted.

“But I thought you explained everything with Bridges and the BBs and everything else,” Sam said as confusion peppered his brow.

“I explained everything I could, yes. But Amelie has always given more questions than answers. I thought she was the president’s daughter at first. Now, I don’t know what she truly is.”

“What?” asked Sam.

Cliff nodded. He did his best to explain, from the first meeting all the way up to the most recent one. Sam and Higgs quickly saw that there wasn’t much clear information to give despite how many instances they’d met. Sam could understand why his dad wouldn’t have mentioned her earlier now. She really did just cause everything to become more confusing.

“But if she never really tried to harm you or me before, if she even tried to help, why did you seem worried that she might have hurt us?” asked Sam.

“Because she gave me a warning when I came back. She said she wanted me to keep you safe, and that you couldn’t return. To what? The Beach in general? Hers? I don’t know. That was all she gave.”

“So I guess she was specifically talking to you,” Higgs said as he gestured at Sam.

“I guess. But that doesn’t explain why.”

“And I don’t know why,” Cliff murmured.

“Bridges…the UCA isn’t finally coming after me. Right?” Sam cautiously asked with a worried look around.

“No, I don’t think it’s that. Over the years she’s pressed that the initial plans fell through the moment I escaped with you. There’s no reason to find us, and for the past eighteen years, they’ve let us be. No, I think it’s something else. I simply don’t know what.”

Sam let out a tired sigh. “So…I guess I won’t try to go to the Beach. But…”

“I know. It’s not always something any of us can control. I tried to understand why she would ever think you would find her again too, especially if it was her own Beach she meant. But I still have only more questions.”

“Has she ever cried blood before?” asked Higgs. “Do you know of anyone who has regarding the Beach?”

“Yes to the first, no to the second. She cried blood once. Her Beach turned red and…only an image that can be described as apocalyptic was shown. And then I woke up again. She never touched on it. Not really. I still don’t understand its implications.”

“Shit,” muttered Higgs.

“So there’s nothing we can do about it. We can’t-or at least you can’t-go and find her or something? Get her to explain?” asked Sam.

“I’ve tried. Believe me. I don’t know if she delights in her round about answers, if she’s just as confused as me, or if it’s all she can explain for some reason, even if she knows more. I just know I want you to avoid the Beach as best you can, at least for now. Maybe I’ll get a better answer out of her next visit, but I can’t say for sure.”

Sam nodded in understanding. He glanced towards Higgs who shyly looked down. “Speaking of the Beach…”

“How much happened to you two while I was gone?” asked Cliff.

“Not that much!” Higgs quickly said. “Just two other things really. Um…first, the way I sensed the body and everything…um…I can’t exactly explain it.”

“We think whatever source he found is depleting though.”

Higgs nodded. “I know that for sure. I can feel that.”

“But it’s more than just sensing the BTs like you saw. Or finding the body.”

“What is it?” asked Cliff.

“I actually saw them. But not only that. I could…I don’t want to say use them, but—”

“He took down two mules,” Sam said. “It was…kind of crazy. But it worked.”

“I don’t think I could do it again now,” Higgs quickly added. “At least not quite to the same extent. But…yeah. I don’t know. Whatever happened, there’s a connection to the other side now. One I definitely didn’t have before.”

Higgs wasn’t sure how Cliff would react. However, he immediately calmed as Cliff reacted in the most comforting way possible. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah. I’m ok,” Higgs said with a small smile. “Still kind of confused. Wished there was some record of this shit. But…I’m not in any danger or anything.”

“Good, that’s what’s most important,” Cliff murmured. “And the final thing?”

“Right, Fragile,” Sam said. “I guess…well I guess you’ll meet her tomorrow.”

“She helped us out a bit. Joined us on some of the deliveries we made while you were gone,” said Higgs.

“And is she of Fragile Express?”

“Hang on. You know about that company?” asked Sam.

“I was down here before, though they were only just then reaching out to this area at the time. I heard that it was named after the owner’s daughter, an interesting name you don’t easily forget. And I actually talked to the man too. He tried to convince me to join.” Sam and Higgs unexpectedly laughed. Cliff looked to both of them. “What?”

“Nothing,” Higgs laughed. “Just, like father like god damn daughter I guess.”

“She’s the owner now,” Sam explained. “We can tell you more tomorrow. You should rest right now. But basically, she’s been trying to convince us both to join too.”

“I’m not surprised if she’s even slightly like her old man,” Cliff replied. “You are right though. As much as I would love to sit and talk with you for hours, I am exhausted.”

“Then get some rest dad. You’ve earned it,” Sam said as he kissed Cliff’s cheek. Higgs hugged him from the other side.

As Sam stood up, he said, “Can you just promise me something?”

Cliff nodded.

“No more secrets from here on out. I get this Amelie will probably never give you a straight answer, but I want to be in the know. I’m old enough to understand, or at least try to understand, now.”

“Me too,” Higgs said.

“Alright. I promise. I suppose I should also tell of what happened before Amelie’s warning then too. I still don’t know how real it was, if it was really her, but I did see your mother,” Cliff added. “I wish I could tell you more. I…I had a sense she wished to say more. But we didn’t have enough time.”

“Was…was she at peace? You think?” asked Sam.

“Yes, if it was really her, I would say so,” murmured Cliff.

Sam nodded. Though weird and shocking, it wasn’t quite the emotional shock for him as it must have been for his dad simply because he’d never known his mom. He murmured, “If it was her, I’m glad you got to see her dad. Even for a moment.”

“Me too,” murmured Cliff. He let out another long sigh and added, “I suppose that really is everything this time though. Just keep me updated if either of you ever see Amelie again. If anything strange happens. And remember Sam—”

“I know. I’ll avoid the Beach as best as I can. And I’ll tell you if something changes.”

“Thank you,” sighed Cliff. He looked over both of them. Despite the new unknowns and the possible threat that Amelie presented, there was clear relief there. “I love you both so very, very much.”

“I love you too dad.”

“Love you Cliff,” murmured Higgs.

They all quickly hugged again before Sam and Higgs finally took their leave. They’d almost wanted to stay. Sam had wanted to curl in tight like he was little again, sleeping under his dad’s arm. But there hadn’t exactly been enough room and it had been clear that Cliff had only recently arrived at the distribution center. He deserved to rest as quickly as possible and Sam and Higgs both needed to get cleaned from their last delivery.

There was an undeniable new jump to their step though. Higgs actually hugged Sam from behind without warning as they came up to their own room. “He’s actually alive. He’s fucking ok!”

“I know,” Sam said with a breathless laugh. “Somehow, whatever fucking happens next seems easier now.”

“Same,” said Higgs. “Just having him back makes everything feel safer, even if things make even less sense.”

“You could say that again,” Sam huffed. “I’m just going to be thankful he’s here right now. We can care about the how and why later.”

Higgs nodded in agreement as he finally moved back.

“So still need a shower?”

“I’d almost forgotten about that feeling-but yeah. Definitely now,” Higgs said with a slight shudder. “Though…with all this talk of the Beach, maybe I could find the source—”

“What happened to avoiding the Beach for right now?” Sam asked with a pointed look.

“Hey, it’s you that the weird woman in red warned. Not me.”

“Actually, she never said my name so…”

“Let’s be honest. She probably didn’t know I existed until I showed up with you.”

“I don’t care. Just promise me—”

“Ok, ok. I’m not going to go looking. Honest! It was just an idea. And I’d rather you come with me if I did and seeing as that’s not an option right now, I’ll just leave it off the plate completely.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I promise. Like we just promised Cliff, I’ll keep you informed and tell you if anything happens. Considering I have no idea what’s really going on with me, even if I have an idea as to how to start controlling it now, it’s probably best I keep everyone in the know.”

“Ok. As long as you promise.”

“I do,” Higgs said again as he squeezed Sam’s hand and they momentarily pressed their foreheads together. Higgs breathed him in and then said, “I’m going to take that shower now.”

“Alright. Should we mention all this to Fragile? We said we would have an answer for her but this obviously complicates things.”

“You could mention something about it I guess,” Higgs said. “I’ll let you figure it out. I’m doing that shower.”

With that, they both got out of their protective gear. Sam went to the terminal and Higgs took to the shower. Both felt so much clearer and their hearts no longer heavy. Cliff had been right. They would have figured it all out. They would have kept going. But god did it feel good to know they didn’t have to worry about that now. Hopefully for a long time coming they wouldn’t.

Higgs got out at the same that Fragile surprisingly sent them a response from Sam’s quick message.

“Was she just sitting there waiting for something?” asked Higgs.

Sam snorted. “I have no idea.” He opened it up and frowned.

“What?”

“She’s asking to meet.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I mean, we’re not doing anything right now…”

“Just say yes. I’m curious what’s happening.”

“Me too.”

Just as soon as Sam said yes, a knock sounded at the door. They both looked at each other. “Ok, I’m pretty sure even if she was in the room over, that shouldn’t be physically possible,” muttered Higgs.

“Unless she didn’t care about our answer and was already on her way.”

“I guess…”

Sam went to open the door. As expected, Fragile quickly walked in. They noted how she was still in the delivery gear and it looked as if she’d just been outside, even though that had to be physically impossible. She cut right to the chase. “So the person you lost is no longer lost?”

“I suppose you could say that,” Sam started to say.

“He survived the voidout. That’s all I know,” Higgs said.

However, he barely finished saying that when Fragile started speaking again. “Interesting. You lot are far more noteworthy than I ever planned on. The voidout happened near the old incinerator, yes?”

“Um, well yes—” Sam started to say.

Fragile finally unhooked the small stick at her side. They hadn’t seen her use it yet, hadn’t even known what it was for. Now a part of it lit up as she interrupted Sam and said, “Who exactly was it? The one you nearly lost?”

“My dad,” Sam said.

“Well, Sam Porter, I think I know how he came back.”

Higgs blinked in surprise. “You do—”

However, before he could finish the sentence and Sam could say more, Fragile was gone.


	17. A Bridge to a Repatriate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So again, won't have as much time to update as quickly but I am definitely still here! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Also, probably in the next couple we'll finally be done with the late teen years and will finally jump to the final act and them as adults. It should happen on Chapter 20 or 21, but it of course depends how the next few chapters pan out.
> 
> Thank you again and I hope you enjoy!

“Holy shit, she just disappeared!”

Sam blinked in confusion. He glanced around, but unsurprisingly he didn’t see anything different. He looked back over to Higgs.

“She’s gone. She’s fucking-wait. Is this what she meant? About the whole oddity thing? And-fuck that makes so much more sense how she claimed she could take out a bunch of guys. Of course she could! She could fucking pop up behind them, knock them the fuck out, and then go to the next one-ah!”

And like that, Fragile was back as they both jumped. She brushed off her shoulder, water hitting the floor as her hood naturally fell back. She glanced between Higgs and Sam, a small, almost teasing smile appearing on her lips. “Another clever trick. Isn’t it?”

“You could say that again,” muttered Sam.

“How the hell do you do it?” asked Higgs.

Fragile hooked the stick back onto her belt. “This helps. But I travel across my Beach and find exits in others. I can’t fully explain it. Only that it’s a part of my DOOMS. It is useful for quick trips, but I can’t bring anything with me.”

“You mean like a package?” asked Sam.

She nodded.

“Ever tried a living person?” asked Higgs.

She cocked her head to the side. “No, but that is an interesting idea. I was going to tell you eventually, about this, but upon what you told me, I figured it was best to confirm my suspicions now.”

“That’s right,” Higgs quickly said. “How do you know what happened to Cliff?”

“Because he is not the only one of his kind. He’s a repatriate. Though going by your reactions, I take it you haven’t heard the term.”

They both shook their heads.

“It is rare, but essentially, he can’t die.”

“Can’t-but he’s aging. I’ve watched him age as I’ve grown up,” Sam tried.

“I didn’t say anything about aging,” Fragile replied. “And it is not like he’ll live forever. From what I know, natural causes can’t stop it. But anything unnatural, like dying in a voidout or getting shot, doesn’t keep a repatriate dead for long.”

“Have you just heard it through the grapevine or something, or have you actually met one?” asked Higgs.

“I met one when I was little. It’s how I know it’s a real thing. Not unlike Cliff, she didn’t know about it until she survived a voidout. Only, where as his voidout occurred in the middle of nowhere, she lost her city and family in it.”

“Fuck,” muttered Sam. Just thinking about that was heartbreaking.

“And don’t think this makes Cliff immune to any BT either. He would survive being consumed by one, but the action would still cause a voidout. The woman I knew learned that the hard way too.”

Sam and Higgs both winced at that.

“Really, he should know now. Best he doesn’t make a mistake and—”

“Woah there!” Higgs quickly said.

Sam walked up, his hands hovering around Fragile. “He’s been through a lot. Ok? We can explain it to him tomorrow, but right now he needs to rest.”

“Fair enough. Perhaps I was too hasty…”

“How does one become a repatriate though?” asked Higgs. He glanced over to Sam. “Is it…genetic?”

“Not that I know of. A common factor is some type of near-death experience, or actual death. Though it is impossible to say if that’s simply a factor of repatriates, or if such an experience must occur at first for a person to become a repatriate. Or perhaps a person is simply born with it, like DOOMS, but there’s some type of environmental factor that creates it rather than genetics. Or hormones. No one really knows. Again, not many out there, and who wants to be a test subject?”

“Fair,” sighed Sam. God this was all so crazy to think about.

“So, we have the father repatriate, the one who controls BTs, and you,” Fragile said with a small smile. “Any traits I should know about?”

Sam snorted. If BB got added into the mix, yeah, they were one hell of a unit. But Sam just said, “Nothing besides some low-level DOOMS.”

Fragile nodded with a small smile. “Then I will take my leave, considering I’m sure it’s already been a busy day.”

“Hang on!” Higgs said, causing her to pause in her step. “What about the whole teleportation thing? You’re seriously just going to drop that on us and leave?”

Fragile smirked. “You want to know more.”

“Obviously.”

“There isn’t much else to tell,” she replied.

“Well what about the whole, reaching farther west thing?” asked Sam. “You said the traversal was too difficult. Couldn’t you just…ploop over there?”

“I can’t carry packages with me. Remember?”

“Well what about jumping around up there to find a safe path for you and your men?” asked Higgs. “Then you would at least have a way to get there and wouldn’t be in the dark.”

“If I could do that, being out of the dark would only be momentary. What if the weather suddenly changes? What if BTs form or terrorists or mules move into the area by the time myself and my men make it to there?” questioned Fragile.

“Ok fair…”

“But you haven’t even tried?” asked Sam.

Fragile tapped at the stick on her side. “This only gets me so far. Besides, I need to have been to the location first in order to know its chiral location. I have not been in every section of this room, but I could move to any spot if I so wished. The same goes for any general spot I am at. But to go to an unknown distance like the mountains? It would be like firing a gun in a dark room after being spun around four times. Maybe I would get lucky, but the chances would not be with me.”

“So that’s why you have the stick at all,” Higgs sighed.

She nodded. “Not only that, but rapid change does take a tole on me. I am not immune. I can only push my body so far. I could become stuck. A situation made worse if BTs or terrorists happened to be around.”

“Is that why your nose was bleeding a bit yesterday?”

“Yes. For the most part, I can track when I am pushing past my physical limitations, but I have still passed out before. Though a nice trick, my ability does not offer a loophole for everything.”

“Got it,” Higgs sighed. “Thank you. For explaining it as best you could though.”

“You are welcome. If there is anything you can take out of my experience, then take solace with you.”

“Solace?”

“Yes, like I said. You are not a lone oddity. Now, I expect to still get word from you when you do decide to leave, though I understand it may take longer now.”

“We promised we would,” Sam said, “but you realize that with my dad back, we have even less reason to join. Right?”

“Even less? I simply see another potential employee.”

Sam and Higgs laughed and Fragile simply flashed another smile.

“You know,” Higgs said, “he mentioned that last time he was down here, your dad tried to recruit him too.”

Fragile’s smile turned a little sadder and a little sweeter. “Never let an extra pair of hands simply walk away. That’s what he always said.” Her smile became fuller and she added, “I’ll see you both later.”

With that, she unhooked the small, stick like device and disappeared.

“Are we just never going to have another normal day after this?” asked Higgs.

Sam rolled his eyes. “I guess not.” He thought about it a second, and then murmured the new word on his lips again. “A repatriate…hmm.”

“The repatriate, the BB, and whatever the fuck I am. Yep, sounds like a functional family to me.”

“You’re you Higgs. That’s what matters. What you can do now is just…you know what? I can’t think of a fucking saying that doesn’t come out a little too weird or sound a little racy.”

Higgs grinned. “It’s ‘cause I’m rubbing off on you.”

“Well that’s one way to put it,” Sam deadpanned.

“God fucking damn it! I am both mortified and impressed with that comeback.”

“Well I know I didn’t learn that ability from you considering you got stuck on pipsqueak,” Sam replied. “I mean really. You find out I was born in a fucking pod and you still think pipsqueak is the be all end all of teasing.”

“It’s just so cute,” replied Higgs with a wide grin. “Though if you really want me to go there, maybe the pod stunted your growth.”

“I’ll stunt your growth damn it!”

“What? So I stay six foot one and don’t reach six two? Big difference that will be,” laughed Higgs.

“I just don’t understand it. Do you come from a race of giants? If you gain another inch, I’m going to fucking lose it.”

“Oh you totally love it,” Higgs replied as he finally stepped closer. “Makes it easier to manhandle you.”

“No, you love to manhandle me, not the other way around.”

“And yet you still put up with it.”

“Because I fucking love you, dumbass.”

“Oh, I know.”

They quickly kissed before just looking at each other. Then their shoulders relaxed and they burst into breathless, relieved, laughter. It felt good to laugh. It felt good feeling like they were allowed to laugh. They’d of course done so with Fragile during the deliveries, but there’d still been a dark cloud over their heads before they’d known Cliff was alive. They would have managed to clear it eventually, at least Sam hoped they would have. But now everything that was immediately important was ok. They still had their journey back to Middle Knot to plan over. They still had Amelie and her weird warnings to think about. And Sam’s dad was a repatriate. That too. Yet all of it seemed far easier to deal with now that it wasn’t just the two of them but the three of them again.

“So…” Higgs trailed off with a look.

Sam cocked his eyebrow. “Really?”

“I mean, not much point in doing a delivery now. And I doubt we both want to be away whenever Cliff is up so we might as well stay. But it’s also not night yet and I’m not exactly tired, so…”

“You just have all your bases covered. Huh?”

“You could say that,” grinned Higgs. He dragged Sam into another kiss and they managed to distract themselves until it was time to sleep.

That being said, it wasn’t all a waste of time-not that Higgs would have said any of it was a waste. However, Sam did take some moments to delve further into what data and information South Knot had. Specifically, he looked up any records of repatriation. What little he found made Sam suspect it was about the woman Fragile had once met. There wasn’t much else though, so Sam and Higgs tried to find other records of such oddities regarding the Beach, DOOMS, connections to the other side, and everything in between.

There still wasn’t much, but at least it passed the time.

Eventually, they fell asleep. In the morning, they met Cliff in his room and had breakfast with him. They started out slow, first just mentioning the passing of Fragile’s dad so an awkward incident didn’t happen again. Since Cliff had done most of the talking yesterday, they also took the time to fill him in on exactly what they’d done with Fragile. They mentioned the prepper they’d stayed with that one night, and when asked, Higgs explained a bit more about what exactly he’d done with his new connection.

“Hmm…perhaps something to do with the chirality?” murmured Cliff.

“That’s what I thought!”

“Maybe the twins could help?” suggested Sam.

“Their family could probably come up with some ideas, but they don’t specialize in biology. If that’s even the area they would need to be looking into,” Cliff reminded them. “It couldn’t hurt to try asking them. But only if you felt comfortable with it Higgs.”

“It’s Målingen and Lockne. If anyone’s going to poke at me, I’d rather it be those two.”

Sam laughed. “Really? Because I remember when you used to hate being forced into their little experiments.”

“I didn’t hate it! I was just coming out of my shell still.”

“Uh huh. I think we all know that you both let out a sigh of relief when they finally turned to actual, practical applications,” said Cliff, “rather than using you both as lab rats.”

“Ok fair.”

Higgs nodded. “Yeah, definitely can agree with that.”

And seeing as they’d just finished discussing Higgs’ new oddity…

He looked at Sam. Sam put down his utensils and Cliff immediately noted the serious changes on their faces.

“I take it I’m not completely caught up,” Cliff slowly said.

“It’s not like that! You know everything that went on with us.”

“It actually has to do with you, dad. And how you survived.”

“I see you were putting your time to good use while I was asleep then.”

Sam gave Higgs a pointed look. “Well some of us were—” Higgs kicked him under the table and Sam just shot him a smug grin before quickly continuing. “There wasn’t a lot to actually research on it. Really, the only reason we have an idea of what happened is because of Fragile.”

“Her again. She seems to have taken quite an interest in you both.”

“She’s tenacious. That’s for sure,” Higgs agreed.

“But what she had to say I think was honestly just to educate us. To be fair, it’s useful information. Especially for you.”

“How so?” asked Cliff.

“Well according to her, the reason you survived is because you’re a repatriate,” Sam slowly got out.

“I’m afraid I don’t recognize it.”

“Neither did we, but…”

Sam and Higgs went into reiterating what Fragile had said, along with some of the information they’d found from South Knot’s documentations. Cliff took it in stride. By this point, he was far more used to strange things happening around him. He wasn’t used to being the strange thing. Both his boys looked at him, curious and worried about his reaction when they finally finished. Cliff mulled it over in his head before he responded.

“I don’t have a better explanation for now. So…”

“It doesn’t really change anything,” Higgs quickly said. “It just means it’ll be a lot harder for a terrorist to kill you. Actually, for anyone to kill you now. But you’re still—”

“Me. Yes. It doesn’t change much,” agreed Cliff. “Though I suppose if it is true…then I expect you both to follow my word without fail if I tell you to stay out of a situation.”

“I still don’t want you to get killed,” Sam quickly said.

“And I’d rather not go through the experience again,” Cliff replied. “I’d also rather not risk testing the theory on the small chance I am not a…repatriate. However, if this does turn out to be true, it means I expect neither of you to do anything risky if I’m around. That doesn’t change. Just as it was when you were little and as it is now, my role as a parent is to take the damage and protect you. Not the other way around.”

Sam felt a little less reluctant in agreeing as he nodded. “Got it dad.”

“Yeah.”

Cliff tiredly rubbed at his face. “So, with all of this on the table now, what should we do?”

They both stayed silent, at first thinking Cliff was asking a rhetorical question. He would then just explain what they would do. Right? But after a moment, he dropped his hands and looked at them. Cliff gestured for them to speak.

“Hold on, you’re asking us?” said Higgs.

“I thought you had a plan once we reached South Knot,” Sam said.

“I did. But I’m officially not telling you it,” Cliff said with a small smile.

“Is this like a lesson thing?” asked Higgs.

“Yes, it is a ‘lesson thing’. I suppose I can’t really die going by the conventional dangers of the world now. However, I won’t always be beside you. And maybe there is something out there that could kill me. Or the day comes when I finally pass away simply from old age. Whatever it is, whether it’s temporary or permanent, I can’t always be there for you both. I’ve taught you how to defend yourself. How to fight if absolutely necessary. But you also need to learn how to come up with your own decisions. How to chart a journey and how to weigh the pros and cons of it. To be able to choose whether to stay in an area or march on. So, I’ll ask again. What should we do?”

“Um…”

“Well, I guess…”

Sam slowly took the lead, though he and Higgs quickly started to bounce off ideas from each other. Cliff mostly stayed silent. He noted when they had a good idea, how often they compromised. When a decision was finally reached, they looked to him for approval. He gave it.

“Well done. I expect you both to do this more often from now on. I will always try to help and answer questions where I can, but if you ever are by yourselves, or even completely alone, I need to know you’ll still be able to fully take care of yourselves.”

“We will dad.”

“Promise.”

“Good,” murmured Cliff with a small smile. “In that case, I will gladly follow your plan and rest again. Both of you be careful on those deliveries.”

They promised him they would as they got up and hugged Cliff. With everything said and done, they felt confidant going forward in their decision. Cliff would rest another day while Sam and Higgs performed some more deliveries. Then they would do several more deliveries in the next two or three days, taking the time to map out more of the area and get a feel for the land for whenever they came back. Then they would gather what they could and begin the journey back to Middle Knot.

Sam paused to send a quick message to Fragile about it, and then they were off.

The days passed quickly. With guilt and regret no longer weighing Sam and Higgs down, they moved more quickly and could feel excited about returning home again. When Cliff joined them again, it felt good. However, instead of simply acting like everything was how it should and always would be, Sam and Higgs took the opportunity to truly appreciate the time they had with Cliff.

Though it looked like an unexpected death was no longer possible, Cliff had been right. He wouldn’t always be by their sides. As they would be pushing on farther and farther, Cliff would get older and have more difficulty making the long journeys. Eventually there would be a delivery that would be his last. They weren’t quite there, but they could now proudly say they would enjoy the time they had with him and look forward for what would come next, not dread it.

Overall, the next few days managed to be normal. At least as normal as they would ever be. They did manage to run into some BTs so Higgs had a better idea of how strong his current connection was, but otherwise the deliveries mostly went as planned.

On the morning when they were finally going to begin the trek back up north, Higgs had just finished securing a package to Sam’s back only to hear a pleasant, “Hello,” from behind.

“Fuck! You—” Higgs stopped as he turned around and saw Fragile. “Wait a god damn second. You’re not quiet. You’ve been appearing behind me on purpose since day one!”

“Guilty as charged,” she said with a large smile. Before Higgs could say more, she easily stepped in between him and Sam. Higgs sulked in the background as she stuck out her hand towards Cliff. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“You as well,” Cliff replied. He took the handshake. “I heard of your father. My condolences.”

“It is alright. At least I was able to maintain his legacy. It is my understanding you were the one who got away.”

“Is that how he would have put it? Well, he was quite understanding when he explained I had two boys I still needed to look after and get back to.”

“If these were the boys, I can understand the urgency to get back.”

“Hey!” cried Higgs. Sam’s mouth dropped open in mild shock.

“A simple joke,” Fragile said with another smile. She focused back on Cliff. “They are quite capable. You raised them well.”

“Thank you for the compliment. Now, it’s my understanding that you are taking a group with you up north.”

“Yes. We’ve been meaning to begin expanding up there. I figured this was an excellent opportunity. Considering you are more familiar with the area, I would ask you take point.”

“I appreciate the trust.”

“You must give to get a little. No? Let me introduce you to the party that will join us.”

Despite how she was younger than either Sam or Higgs, Cliff treated her as if any adult were in her place instead. She was still a child, and it was disheartening that she felt she had to carry on such a role. However, since it wasn’t like there was anything else Cliff could do, he chose to show her the respect she deserved of such a position. He would guide their group to the best of his ability up to Middle Knot and help her as best he could while part of the temporary group.

After introductions were made, Fragile trusted Cliff in choosing what deliveries her men should take since he would be guiding the journey. After everyone was carrying at least something and completely suited up, they headed out.

Right away, Fragile started up a dialogue with Cliff. She asked for information that both immediately pertained to their situation, and older questions meant to fill in her general knowledge. Sam and Higgs stuck together though they slowly started to chat with Fragile’s people as well. Since Cliff and Fragile were farther ahead, Cliff said, “I don’t mean any offense. But I am curious how much of this is to further impose your right as the leader of Fragile Express.”

“You mean with the questions. And the way I talk. You ask if I’m putting on a show.”

“Yes.”

“There was some hesitance at first. Now it only comes from those I newly meet. Not from within my company.”

“Of course,” Cliff said.

“As for my speech, my parents were not originally from the country that used to lie here. I take it you are not either.”

“No. I moved here very early on, but I never really dropped the accent. I take it you were only around your parents for some time for your accent to be so strong.”

“Yes. I was born in a shelter. We were preppers, though it was more for my mother’s paranoia than needing a real sense of safety. She died when I was quite young, but with her death, my father needed to occupy himself. He started reaching out. To grow up without a sky was not the way meant for a child, at least as he put it. He turned his grief into a passion. An admirable choice. No?”

“It is,” Cliff agreed. “It’s hard to do, but impressive when a person can make that step. I take it you have done something similar.”

“Something similar,” Fragile said with a small nod. She noted how Cliff was looking at her. She glanced back to Sam and Higgs. “Only one is yours.”

“Technically, yes.”

“I could see how deeply they were both affected. Even behind a laugh or smile. That hidden darkness is gone now. It is good that they have you, and you have them.” She then gave Cliff a pointed look that made her seem far older. “But I am not another child for you to pick up.”

“Of course. I apologize if I’ve even hinted at that,” Cliff replied.

“You have not. Simply wanted to get that out of the way,” she said with a small smile. “And it is appreciated. Just not needed.”

“Yes, sir.”

Her smile widened at that. “To be fair, I should be calling you sir. You are leading us.”

“No, I left that life behind me a long time ago. No need for the sir.”

“As you wish,” she said. “So…”

And with that, she continued her probing questions. It wasn’t just Cliff and Fragile at the lead though. Everyone did shift around. They got a feel for each other and got to know whose back they were watching out for. Since there was a fair number of them, they rotated when it came to standing watch at night. It meant everyone was able to sleep more and for longer stretches of time before they finally pressed on again.

As the days slowly passed, Higgs noted his ability to sense BTs had drastically dropped. He was relatively sure he was close to Sam’s level now. Considering it had been going at an exponential rate, it was likely that the abilities would be completely gone any day now. Because of that, he got used to following closely behind Sam again whenever timefall occurred. As for terrorists or mules, Cliff and Fragile almost always took the lead. Thanks to Fragile’s abilities, she was able to quickly test out the perimeters of such groups. It gave them a good idea of which way to go and made the chance of an encounter happening much smaller.

However, it did take a toll on Fragile when she did it too much. They managed to get a safe distance away when she stumbled in her footing at one point. She had to lean against a nearby rock as her shoulders slightly shook.

“There, there.” Cliff hovered. He didn’t actively help though so that he didn’t risk being disrespectful.

She seemed to appreciate that as she finally pushed herself up. One of her men walked over as she wiped at her nose.

“You alright?” asked Sam.

“I’ll be fine in just a second. Just a pick me up.”

The worker that had walked forward now pulled out a jar. Sam frowned at the contents and started to ask, “Those look like those things that float around the-hrrk!”

Sam and Higgs both made gagging sounds as Cliff cocked his head in interest. Going by the lack of a reaction from any of Fragile’s employees, they were used to this by now.

“It can replenish your blood. A useful think to keep on hand in an unlucky situation.”

“Really now,” murmured Cliff. That was useful information.

Sam and Higgs reacted very differently though. “That’s fucking disgusting,” Higgs said. Sam just made another face and shook his head.

Fragile took another and walked closer. “Not even a little interested?” She bit the head off it.

Higgs leaned over. “I’m going to puke.”

Suddenly, Fragile jumped so that she was right between them. As they startled back, she popped the rest in her mouth and smiled. “See? All better.”

“Yeah, nuh uh. Never putting that in my mouth,” muttered Higgs.

“Ok, hang on,” Sam said, managing to recover faster than Higgs. “How is that any different than wanting to—”

“That is completely different and something I’m not talking about in front of ten people!”

“I’m just saying it’s equally gross—”

“It is nowhere near equally gross,” Higgs replied. “And for the record, I’m not biting. Or do you want me to bite?”

Cliff just face palmed, a small huff escaping his lips.

“You do quite enough with that mouth. No need to bring teeth into the mix.”

“Urgh! You weren’t supposed to respond to that. You were supposed to shut up about the conversation!”

“Well you should have made that more clear.”

Higgs let out a long, drawn out groan as Sam just shrugged. He glanced over to see Fragile giving him a look. He shot her a confused look back that had her smirking. “Sixteen and not interested. Though…I suppose you could do worse.”

“Worse? Hey, what the hell do you know?”

Sam elbowed Higgs as Fragile jumped to the front of the group and started walking again. “She’s just messing with you.”

“Don’t think that’ll stop me from going toe-to-toe with a sixteen year old.”

“Oh come on, that wouldn’t be a fair fight.”

“I don’t care. One more snippy comment and I’ll—”

“I meant for you.”

“Me! Is no one on my side today?”

“Maybe take a breather, hmm?” suggested Cliff as he walked over and warmly patted Higgs on the shoulder.

Sam just snorted, walking forward as well as Higgs grumbled behind him. “First we see that sick shit and then he somehow decides it’s not as gross as sex shit and then he calls me out in front of everyone that little pipsqueak motherfucker.”

Some of their companions did laugh, but to be fair Sam apologized later on with a few quick kisses here and there. It also led to Higgs and Fragile arguing for the rest of the trip about who would win in a fight. Considering they were doing a job, they didn’t stop to actually try, but the hypothetical confrontation just got bigger and more blown up. They promised the other that they would eventually try to find the time to prove who would win.

And then after many stops along the way, they finally made it back to Middle Knot.

As they dropped off the orders meant for the city, Fragile made sure to go to Cliff, Higgs, and Sam after giving out orders to her men.

“It would appear this is where we finally part ways.”

“I thought you said you were sticking around,” said Higgs.

“It is simple to deliver to a distribution center. It’s the preppers I’m more interested in. That requires time to build trust and a relationship. I will be in the area, but you won’t see me in Middle Knot for some time. And I have my people back in South Knot I must check on.”

“Right,” Sam said. “You have the chiral location for here now. So you can come and go as you need.”

“Yes. Though I will have to make sure I am at my full capability in order to make the trip in one jump. Which is more important to do considering there were no lone distribution centers or major places between Middle and South I could stop at.”

Fragile looked like she was going to say more, but at that point, the twins came running down the ramp. They jumped into Sam’s and Higgs’ arms. They went to hug Cliff too before returning back to Sam’s and Higgs’ sides.

“Did you get taller?” asked Higgs. He held his hand out. “I’m pretty sure you only came up to here, and now you’re here.”

“I don’t know,” said Lockne. “I think you’re taller.”

That made Higgs shoot a grin Sam’s way who mumbled, “He better fucking not be.”

Målingen was looking at Fragile in interest. When Fragile seemed to take note, Målingen squeaked out, “Hi.”

“Hello. You are one of the two scientists?”

“You mentioned us?” asked Lockne with excitement.

“I mean, it does get pretty boring when all you do is walk all day,” Higgs said with a long, fake yawn. “You may have come up now and then…” He laughed as Lockne shoved him and he quickly put his arms around her. “Yeah yeah, you know I’m teasing. Of course we talked about you guys.”

“And who are you?” asked Lockne.

“Målingen, Lockne, this is Fragile,” Sam said before giving a quick explanation.

Målingen was surprisingly quiet during it before she suddenly said, “That doesn’t look like a stun baton,” in reference to the stick at Fragile’s side.

“That would be because it is not.”

“What does it do?” asked Lockne.

“Pinpoints locations using chiral levels.”

“What for?” asked Målingen.

“So that I can then use my Beach to travel to these locations.”

The twins lit up. They immediately began to babble off theories and ideas. It seemed they weren’t so shocked by the idea, having gone over some theoretical concept that was way above Sam and Higgs’ level. Lockne quickly asked, “Could we see it? The device?”

Fragile glanced at Sam, Higgs, and Cliff.

“You won’t find anyone that could be trusted with such a device more, except perhaps their parents,” Cliff said.

“Or anyone that will understand it better,” Sam added.

Both the twins beamed at that.

Fragile smiled. “Alright then.”

She handed it over and Lockne and Målingen quickly got to looking at it. However, whereas Lockne’s attention was clearly focused, Målingen’s was far more divided. Not surprisingly, the first person to really understand was her twin. With one quick glance Fragile’s way, Lockne said, “My sister thinks you’re cool.”

“I do not!”

Fragile immediately played along. “Oh, so I am not cool?”

“What? No! You-you’re totally-you’re not cool cool but you’re-you know, I guess cool? But I don’t think you’re that cool. Unless you want me to think you’re that cool?”

Sam and Higgs burst into laughter as Målingen’s face went beat red.

“I guess I won the bet,” Lockne said. “You had the first crush.”

“I do not have a crush!” yelled Målingen which had everyone giggling a bit more. Målingen quickly ignored her sister and focused on the science instead. She mumbled some things before quickly whispering to Fragile, “We could improve it. Probably. If we could, you know, really get a chance to look at it.”

“Really now? Trustworthy, are they?” Fragile asked the others.

“Definitely,” said Higgs.

“Again, you wouldn’t find anyone better,” Sam added.

“Hmm, perhaps another time. I need it for now. But it gives me a reason to come back to Middle Knot sooner. No?”

It was hard to say if she meant to tease Målingen or not, but either way her face went bright red again as she looked at the floor and messed with her hands.

“And with that, I do need to check on my people. Until we meet again Sam, Higgs, Cliff. Målingen and Lockne? It was excellent to meet you as well.”

“You too,” Lockne said, though her excitement reappeared as she watched Fragile disappear right in front of them. It was clear her mind was already coming up with thoughts and ideas, even if Målingen could only mumble, “So cool…”

They all laughed again. Målingen managed to get her face under control and soon her and Lockne were asking them all to come to dinner.

“We will soon,” Cliff said.

“But I really want to sleep in my own bed tonight,” Higgs added.

“We’ll catch you both up on everything. And don’t worry, we didn’t forget your things either,” Sam said as he moved the containers their way.

“Maybe you could fill us in on some of those things while you help us carry everything back?” asked Lockne.

Higgs chuckled. “Alright, deal. We’ll tell you what we can between here and your home, and then the rest tomorrow.”

“Deal!” the twins said.

With that decided, they said their goodbyes to Fragile’s people and then picked up the twins’ order again. The three followed the twins back, deciding to mention some of the simpler and lighter points of the journey. They would share all the big information tomorrow after they’d had a good night’s rest. It felt good to be home.


	18. A Bridge between Leaders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus, I'm over 100,000 words in this story and I'm not even to the final act yet lol. Still loving that I'm writing this story though and though this chapter went in a little unexpected direction, I think it'll work out better in the end. So with this chapter, I can confirm two more before the third act of this story. A massive thank you to all the kudos and comments and for sticking with the story, even with the longer waiting moments between updates. Thank you!

After everything that had happened on the long trip to South Knot, it felt good to be home again. They had lunch with the twins and their parents as promised. They were slow to divulge everything though. Cliff of coursed talked to their parents, but Higgs and Sam weren’t sure how much the twins should know. It ended up being their parents that actually encouraged them to be truthful to Målingen and Lockne though. Yes, they were children, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t be able to handle it. Sam and Higgs just needed to be tactful.

So after discussing some of the happier, more amusing times, Sam and Higgs finally went into the darker, stranger events of South Knot. The twins’ parents had been right. Of course they had. Målingen and Lockne immediately took interest, wanting to know as many details as possible. Sam and Higgs didn’t give them quiet everything, but they gave them enough scientifically speaking. By the time it was all out, they asked if Higgs could still sense BTs. By that point, he couldn’t.

“I’m honestly amazed it lasted the whole trip,” Higgs replied. “It started out real strong. Then just kind of…tapered off at the end.”

“Like an asymptote then,” Målingen said.

“Yes, if that’s true, I doubt it’s gone,” Lockne added.

“But I can’t sense anything. Not even level two like Sam,” Higgs tried.

“But I doubt this new connection is just completely gone,” Målingen replied. “Whatever changed in you is probably still there. Or maybe it was always there. We’re just now aware of it.”

“Perhaps this ability has a kind of half-life!” Lockne excitedly said. “That would explain how it started strong but quickly fell before slowly tapering out.”

“Yes, that would make sense. And if the connection were to begin at a stronger starting point, then perhaps the stronger abilities would last just a little longer. Though comparatively speaking, it would of course drop even quicker going by a half-life model.”

“Could we take some tests?”

“Pretty please?”

Higgs floundered a bit as the twins quickly turned on him. “Um…”

“Just some simple ones.”

“Like a blood analysis or something. Please?”

Higgs couldn’t help but look a little abash. “As long as it’s not too invasive. I guess…”

“Yes!”

“Ok, so I’ve got some ideas.”

Higgs let the twins do their small experiments. If it were anyone else, he probably would have refused. But he trusted them and as promised, it mostly involved taking samples and letting the twins analyze them on their own time. They had a similar reaction to Cliff when Sam and Higgs got to that part of the story. Their eyes went wide and clearly all sorts of theories started popping up in their head. Cliff also allowed them to take some samples. However, they were unable to find anything in either Cliff or Higgs.

For Higgs, they theorized it was because they didn’t have the right equipment, or maybe his levels were so low they were undetectable now.

Målingen said, “So if you’re ever able to draw on the tar again—”

“Tell us right away,” Lockne finished.

“So we can run some more tests when it’s detectable.”

“Oh! And if you can give us all the details like before, then maybe we could figure out what triggers it.”

“Or what energy you’re drawing from.”

Higgs had simply nodded. He kept out the fact of how icky it had felt. He didn’t tell them about how something inside him was saying he shouldn’t find out what the source was. However, he would have time to decide to tell the twins or not if the powers ever did come back.

With Cliff, the lack of finding anything was chalked up to the idea that repatriation might only begin when Cliff actually died.

“We could just not have the proper equipment for this either,” sighed Målingen.

“Or maybe it’s because there isn’t anything for us to see. It’s not a constant state—”

“Yes! The process of repatriation only begins when he actually dies!”

“In that case, we would have to be right there when it occurred and take samples.”

“But would the samples revert back to normal the moment he came back to life?”

“Or would the samples just show signs of death and stay dead?”

“Does the type of death change the process at all?”

“That’s a good point. Or perhaps by being separated from the body, we could pick something up from them. But I’m not sure what…”

Cliff finally interjected when their quick back and forth started to slow. “Any of that might be true. But I’d rather both of you not be around if I ever die again. And I have been told that though other deaths will not result in it, being consumed by a BT will lead to a voidout.”

Målingen and Lockne winced. “Yes, probably best to avoid that. Still, wish we could know more…”

“Sometimes a mystery must stay a mystery,” Cliff replied.

The twins both groaned at that. “That is no fun,” they grumbled, though they didn’t argue with Cliff further.

With the momentary curiosities stunted, the twins had mostly gone back to previous experiments and plans. Sam, Higgs, and Cliff were also ready to put all that excitement behind them. However, after a few days of getting settled, Cliff did have one last thing he wanted to try. As promised, he would keep no secrets though.

After dinner, he brought the boys into his room and finally took out the red sash that Amelie had torn off all those years ago. Cliff hadn’t held it in a long time. It had stayed tucked away. The material should have grown a little older, a little duller, yet it was just as bright as on that day he’d received it.

Sam took it from him immediately. A small frown formed on his lips as he looked it over. “So this was hers?”

“Yes. It was also the first piece that slowly made me change my mind about the Beach.”

“Was it you that brought it back?” asked Higgs. “Maybe because you’re a repatriate or something?”

“No. Though I may not understand the science behind it, I know it was Amelie who allowed me to have it. It was her that somehow willed it to pass from the Beach to here,” Cliff replied as he took it back.

“Why tell us about it now?” asked Sam. “I know we agreed on no secrets, but this isn’t exactly something groundbreaking. You’re telling us for a reason. Right?”

Cliff nodded. “I’m planning on trying to contact Amelie. You both should know that.”

“Hold, shouldn’t we come?” asked Higgs.

“It’s best if I do it alone. There’s no guarantee I’ll be able to find her anyways. But if I can, I can at least say I tried to get more answers.”

“Dad, are you sure about this? We should both go with you. Even with her warning, we’d be stronger toge—”

“No,” Cliff repeated. “If I do truly need backup, I trust you both to find me. But it is best if I do this on my own. Please, trust me for now.”

Higgs and Sam were reluctant to do so. They agreed to it, but in their room they still discussed attempting to find Cliff on the Beach that night. However, considering how Amelie had almost violently thrown them off her Beach last time, showing up would likely make things harder for Cliff. Besides, maybe their searching for him would somehow mess up his search for Amelie and the attempt would be a waste. With a tired sigh and an uncertain heart, they agreed not to interfere. However, the following morning proved that they shouldn’t have worried anyways.

Cliff found nothing.

He had walked the Beach for hours. It had felt like days. Maybe even years. He’d tried to follow some path to her, to pull her towards himself instead. He’d asked her to come back. He’d spoke with uncertainty, exhaustion, and anger. He begged, yelled, but nothing.

Nothing came to greet him on the Beach.

As the days passed, Cliff occasionally tried again. Each attempt was just as empty as the last though. Perhaps there really was a certain amount of time that had to pass before they could talk again.

Or maybe she was hiding. She was being the same allusive woman she’d always been and was just refusing to answer his questions.

Or maybe something was keeping her from talking to him.

Cliff wasn’t sure about that. He hadn’t had any evidence of their being something else there or something beyond Amelie. But then there had been times she’d seemed not in control. She had repeatedly said she could only explain so far.

If there was something else, what was it doing? Why stop Amelie from speaking? None of it made any sense and as Cliff couldn’t find her, it soon became a waste of time to try and think on it. He came up with an arbitrary wait time. Hopefully she would appear again before then. But if not? Cliff would try to find her again. He refused to just be passive in this unknown threat. It was his job to protect his children. He needed to know why Sam needed to be protected.

But with nothing to do in the moment, Cliff had to return to the deliveries.

He and the boys started up the usual patterns. Considering how long the journey had been to South Knot though, if either suggested going a little farther than normal, he allowed it. It didn’t take long before the preppers they visited started to ask about Fragile Express and her intentions. She did work fast, getting acquainted with a good number of people in the area within the first two weeks.

Most knew of Cliff’s lack of affiliation with Bridges or any other company, so it wasn’t surprising when many asked if she was to be trusted.

Cliff simply decided on, “She’ll prove herself to you. She doesn’t need me to try and convince anyone.”

Most left it at that. A few asked if Cliff was going to join up or if he ever would with anyone. It was a fair question. There had been a lot more independent porters years ago. Now, if one didn’t work for Bridges, most at least worked under some other form of leadership. Cliff mostly just gave a straight up no. It wasn’t that he had a problem with other porters, but in his opinion, he was getting to old to be a real asset anyways. He hadn’t joined anyone before to protect Sam and stay under the radar. Now he was fine with finishing his life the way it was now.

The weeks passed. They all kept with the usual pattern. Then finally, Fragile visited again. They ran into her at the distribution center as they dropped off several packages. It was just Cliff and Sam as Higgs had promised to guard the twins on another scientific expedition.

Her suit didn’t look wet despite how it had just been raining outside. Either she’d been there for a while or just jumped from another location.

Her eyes caught theirs and the edges of hers wrinkled just a little. She kept up her current conversation though and only walked over once she’d presumably finished giving out orders. She stopped as Cliff and Sam finished putting the orders on the conveyor belt.

“Porters. It is good to see you again. Been busy since we last spoke?”

“I should ask you the same thing,” Cliff replied. “Almost every prepper has asked us if your company is worthwhile.”

“And your response?”

“That you don’t need an old man to prove your worth.”

“Very right. Though I wouldn’t exactly say no to an asset like yourself.”

“Hardly an asset. Just an old man making it from day to day.”

“If you say so,” Fragile said with another small smile. “I know when an advance is truly done. But you.” She turned to Sam. “Any thoughts?”

“Still a no,” Sam replied with an amused huff. “Besides, I would need Higgs here to decide anything.”

“Then that isn’t really a no.”

“Ok, not what I meant—”

“But it is what you said.” Sam rolled his eyes leading Fragile to widen her smile just the slightest. She added, “Speaking of him, he did not travel alongside?”

Cliff shook his head. “No, he’s helping the twins with an experiment.”

“You know, any chance you’re staying longer?” asked Sam. “The twins still really want to get a look at your device.”

“Hmm, I did plan to rest. Though I need to meet with one group before I can.”

“Would you like to come over for dinner?” asked Cliff.

“Dad’s a pretty good cook,” Sam quickly added. “Whatever he can make is definitely better than whatever processed creations they’ll give you at a distribution center.”

“Then I will take the offer. If only to have Higgs around so I can get a proper yes or no to my offer,” she said with another small smile that had both laughing.

“Of course,” Sam said.

“And your home?”

They told her where and Cliff made sure to say, “We can ask the twins over so they can take your device while you don’t need it. But you really don’t have to let them experiment with it.”

“It is alright. I will stay long enough where there won’t be an issue. Besides, you vouched for them.”

“That we did,” Cliff agreed. “We’ll see you in…”

“An hour, before I finish with work.”

“Then we’ll see you then.”

She nodded in confirmation before disappearing right in front of them.

Sam softly laughed. “Higgs is going to love this.”

“If you didn’t think it was a good idea, I wouldn’t have—”

“No, I’m fine with her coming over,” Sam quickly said. “But let’s be honest. Higgs will start arguing who would win in that fight they promised each other and before we know it, they’ll be outside rolling in the dirt.”

Cliff shook his head. “Hopefully not, but we shall see. Want to help me with dinner?”

“Sure. We can also send a message to the twins’ parents, so they’ll know to just send the twins with Higgs when they get back.”

“Sounds good.”

With that, Cliff and Sam made their way home and started setting up dinner for four. Since Higgs wasn’t there, Sam actually stayed on task. Usually if they were both cooking with Cliff, at least one of them would start a flour fight about ten minutes in. With just Cliff and Sam though, they got everything done rather quickly and Sam was already setting the table by the time Higgs came in with the twins trailing behind.

“Hey, you sent a message involving Fragile?” asked Higgs as way of hello.

“We met her at the distribution center,” Sam said before explaining everything else.

The twins’ eyes lit up at the prospect of finally getting to work on her device. “When does she get here?” asked Målingen.

“Any moment now,” Cliff said. “How was the expedition?”

As they waited on Fragile, the twins explained their latest project. They got a little sidetracked though, the excitement of working on something new getting to them. Ideas and plans on what they could do with Fragile’s device started to flow. Not long after, Fragile herself finally knocked at the door. Before anyone else could grab it, the twins both ran over and threw it open.

Fragile smiled. “Hello again.”

“Hi,” Målingen murmured.

“So we can finally look it over?” asked Lockne, getting right into it.

“Yes, though I would ask that if you find changes that can be made, you ask me first.”

“Of course!” they both excitedly said.

“Then here. Take good care of it.”

Fragile carefully handed the device over and the twins took it with even more care.

“It’ll be best if we can do this with our equipment,” Lockne said.

Målingen nodded. “But we’ll be right back! Promise.”

“Alright. I look forward to what you find.”

The twins beamed at that. Målingen carefully held the device to her chest before they both turned and said goodbye to the others. “And thanks again for taking us Higgs,” Lockne added.

“Anytime,” he replied as the two hurried out the door.

As it closed behind them, Fragile turned to them. Her head cocked to the side as she looked up at Higgs. “You are taller.”

“Yep.”

“Don’t remind him,” begged Sam.

“Six foot two. May make six three before you know it.”

“Hmm, I should wait till then. Best to give you all the advantage when we finally fight.”

“Hey, I don’t need no advantage. I can take you on with my hands tied behind my back.”

“That a promise?”

“It fucking can be.”

“We will add to the bet then.”

“No need for that. I’ll win. But we won’t do it now because you don’t have your stick. Don’t want to give you a disadvantage you know?”

“Oh, how kind,” Fragile sarcastically said. “I could still take you now. Better yet, no jumping.”

“Pfft, not a fair fight then.”

“For you maybe.”

“I think you have it backwards.”

As they kept going at it, Sam mouthed, _I told you so_ , at Cliff.

Cliff just slightly chuckled. He let them get into it for a bit more before he finally started to put food on the plate.

“Oh thank god,” sighed Higgs. “I’m starving.”

Cliff gestured to the empty chair for Fragile. She smiled and sat. Cliff got everyone what they wanted to drink though at the same time he noted Fragile’s odd expression.

“It’s a recipe from my home country, Denmark. My mother taught it too me.”

“Fascinating,” murmured Fragile. “I would like to return to that soon. I did enjoy what you told me of the world you grew up in compared to ours. But no, my response is not from the type of food, but more the freshness. I have only ate prepared packets for long trips.”

“What about when you were little?” asked Higgs.

“We were preppers and my mother prepared us for the end times. That meant rationing and making sure the food kept for as long as possible and could be easily stored.” She looked to Sam. “And you are right. Eating mainly from distribution centers is not the nicest. The closest thing to this would be the few times I have taken the company of a prepper for the night.”

“Well you are welcomed at my table whenever you find yourself in Middle Knot,” Cliff replied.

“Thank you. That is appreciated, particularly as I do not know how long the twins will take.”

“So you’re going to give them free range?” asked Sam.

“As long as they explain what they plan to do, yes. Any improvements will be more beneficial in the long time, even if I shall part with it for a shorter time.”

“They won’t steer you wrong,” Higgs said. “I say it’s a good choice.”

“I’m glad to hear it. So, I assume you all have been hard at work in my absence. Do you plan to stay in Middle Knot for long, or shall you begin to move again?”

“We haven’t exactly talked about it in detail yet,” Higgs slowly said.

“It’s alright if you do wish to begin journeying farther again,” smiled Cliff. “I figured that day would come soon.”

“I would like to go farther east. Maybe to Lake Knot,” Sam admitted. “Just not yet. It’s nice being home right now.”

Higgs could only nod in agreement, mouth already full of food.

“So, tell me more about this dish,” said Fragile. “And Denmark.”

Cliff was more than happy to do so. Sam and Higgs jumped in occasionally, especially since they had heard most of the stories Cliff told. However, Fragile was more interested in the finer details, so Cliff focused on those. Talking about so many specifics didn’t make such a good story, so some of the details Cliff hadn’t told Sam or Higgs about yet. It allowed for everyone to learn something new though as they slowly ate through their meal. Well, everyone except Higgs. He had seconds before anyone had even finished their first helping.

Once done, everyone pitched in to clean up. Fragile did as well and Cliff didn’t argue. Even though she was the guest, he was sure she would argue about needing to earn her keep or something like that.

The dishes were put up and the table cleared when there was a knock on their door. Before anyone could answer it though, the twins let themselves in. They hurried to Fragile, both immediately going into ideas and details and theories. They only slowed when Fragile finally held up her hand and said, “I have many talents. Sadly, deciphering you as you say two different things at the same time isn’t one of them. Perhaps slow down?”

Målingen blushed. “Sorry,” Lockne quickly said.

The twins looked at each other and took a deep breath. They seemed to internally communicate before turning back to Fragile. They traded back and forth and were at least a little slower. They went into the finer details before Lockne said, “So basically, we could do a lot with this.”

“There’s just one issue.”

“To maximize it, it would be better to remake it.”

“We have most of the parts necessary.”

“But not the specific ones that actually keep this thing running.”

“I’m not even sure where we would find them.”

“So in summary—”

“We’d have to take this apart—”

“And make you a whole new one. If you really want it to be the best it can be.”

Fragile hummed to herself as she took the device back. She looked it over as she weighed the pros and cons. Obviously if something went wrong, it would mean Fragile’s ability to jump anywhere could be severely impeded. However…

“Best to strive for better things than to stop in place, no?” She rolled it around in her hands. “I am putting my trust in you. Simply let me inform my men first, and then you can begin.”

“We’ll take good care of it,” Lockne said.

“You’ll love it when we’re done. Promise,” Målingen added.

“I am sure I will. Be right back,” she said with a quick wink.

She wasn’t gone long. However, the change in how she was holding herself showed that she must have jumped to many places. She almost looked like she might flounder, but she kept her back straight and smile firmly in place as she handed the device back. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

“But we won’t need it.”

“That’s what I think to hear,” smirked Fragile.

“We’ll be quick.”

“But not too quick so as not to make a mistake!”

“We’ll get back to you soon.”

“Night. Night everyone.”

“We promised dad and mom we’d be right back.”

“So night again!”

And with that, they were rushing out the door and back home. Fragile finally allowed her shoulders to slump a little as she started to wipe at her nose.

“Over did it?” asked Sam.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” she said with a quick sniff. She reached into a small pocket. Higgs made a face but didn’t say anything as she ate the small creature in one bite. With a small sigh, she said, “I should probably be getting a room at the distribution center now. Thank you for the meal Cliff.”

“Do you need someone to walk back with you?” asked Higgs.

“You are just looking for that opening,” she said with a small smile.

“Wouldn’t dare.”

“Well thank you then. But no. I will be fine.”

However, as she took another step, she faltered just the slightest. She reached for her pocket, but this time there was nothing there. She let out a small sigh and tiredly rubbed at her face again.

“One night,” Cliff said as he walked over.

“I am sorry?”

“If it helps,” he explained, “think of it like the times you’ve been forced to stay with preppers. Besides, I can assure you my couch is far nicer than the beds at the distribution center.”

She frowned, avoiding their faces for a second. Cliff would have liked to offer her more. He still saw her as a child even as he gave her the same respect as any adult deserved. Right now specifically, she was pale. She was having trouble simply standing. Her nose was beginning to bleed again. She owned Fragile Express, but she was also just a weak kid at this point that was struggling not to sway. Cliff wanted to pick her up, wrap her in a blanket, and take her to his bed. He would gladly use the couch instead. However, she certainly would take any of that as a barb to her pride and status. So he offered the couch to her instead and stayed at arm’s length, waiting for her response.

“Alright,” she finally said. “But if you should need a companion in deliveries, or my particular skills could be to your use, they are yours once. So that way we stay on even footing.”

“It’s not necessary,” Cliff started. He could see Fragile was about to argue though so he said, “But I will take it in respect for your position.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll grab a blanket!” Higgs quickly said. “Do you get cold easily?”

“Not r—”

“I’ll get two just in case.”

Higgs ran off before Fragile could respond. She rolled her eyes, but there was a small smile there before it quickly turned more neutral. She carefully walked over to the couch. Before sitting down, she kicked off her shoes and then unzipped part of her suit, tying the arms around her waist. She sat down, using all her energy so that she did it with some grace and didn’t just fall back.

“You know,” Sam slowly said, “you could use my bed. If you don’t mind sharing a room that is. Higgs and I can fit on his.”

“Thank you for the offer Sam Porter, but necessary it isn’t. Thank you for the company and for dinner though.”

“Anytime,” murmured Sam. Higgs ran back at that moment. He handed her the blankets as Cliff brought over a pillow as well.

“Do you uh…need anything else?” Higgs hesitantly asked.

“No. Thank you again. There is already plenty I will have to repay you for.”

“Hey, maybe you have to repay dad,” said Sam, “but you helped us in South Knot. Just think of this as us finally getting even too.”

“Alright. I will. Good night to all of you.”

Sam and Higgs murmured goodnight too as they headed to the back. Fragile undid her braid. Her fingers carefully pulled her hair apart, only to wince as something stuck. Cliff leaned over.

“Is that blood?”

“Shit.” Fragile touched the spot and checked her fingers. “Must have reopened.”

“Let me get some supplies.”

He could already see her want to argue, but he moved before she could let him. He grabbed enough for cleaning but also for stitching the wound if it proved deep enough. He came back and sat beside Fragile as she continued to feel were the wound was.

“Hmm.” Cliff’s eyes tried to get a good view of the spot. “It’ll be difficult to patch up with all that hair.”

“That is the original issue.”

“Oh? I hear a story.” Cliff handed her some disinfectant.

She took it. Her fingers carefully applied it to the general spot. She managed to keep her face perfectly neutral despite how it must have stung at least a little. “Just an encounter with some mules. One pulled my hair before I could jump.”

“Looks more like he tried to rip it out.” He started to reach for the spot, but she pulled back. She had a very stubborn look on her face so Cliff asked, “Do you have eyes in the back of your head?”

She let out a begrudging sigh. “The point is understood.” She leaned forward now, allowing Cliff to part her hair.

“You’ll need stitches. It’ll be a bit difficult, but if you could just hold this section of your hair for me…” He waited, but Fragile didn’t move. Her eyes had drifted downwards. “Fragile?”

“I shall cut it.”

It seemed an odd jump to make. Cliff said, “It would make it easier, but you don’t have to.”

“It would take away a place for mules and others to grab me, no? I have thought about this. It is best to cut it.”

“Then I can if you really want me to, but I am curious. If you’ve thought of this before, why not do it before now?”

“My father liked it this way. He would braid it himself.”

“Well you know you could do different styles. Put it up so it’s less likely to be grabbed,” suggested Cliff.

“I know. But…no. I have been meaning to do it. This simply gives a more pertinent reason to do it now. Do you have scissors?”

“Yes. I’ll go get them.”

As Cliff did so, he decided he wouldn’t ask. The way she said it suggested it was an act of moving on from her father’s death that she just hadn’t gotten to yet. Cliff didn’t know if she was actually ready for that act of moving on, or if it was more so the circumstances. Either way, he was happy to help if it was really what she wanted.

He got a towel as well, along with pulling a small trashcan around. After asking how short she wanted it, she let him keep the scissors. In the calm silence of the night, Cliff carefully cut what she’d requested. Most of the long strands he caught and put in the trash. The other ones fell on the towel. The ugly cut on the back of her head was soon revealed. Cliff stitched it up and then finally began to put everything away. Fragile carefully folded the towel and placed it to the side. She looked at herself in the nearest reflective service.

“Not the shabby product I expected.”

“Well I do cut my boys’ hair.”

“Sam’s would suggest otherwise.”

Cliff softly chuckled. “He’s growing it out. But Higgs very much cares about his appearance so cutting his does require more tact.”

“That makes more sense.” She tested the feel of the stitches. As those seemed to be acceptable too, she dropped her hand and murmured, “Thank you.”

Cliff’s smile turned a little sad. “You don’t have to say it if you don’t mean it. But I suspect your tone more has to do with the help you’ve gotten tonight. And! Before you say anything, a leader should look strong. They should appear like they know what they’re doing. And that is important to you, I understand. But a truly good leader will know that no matter how they appear, they aren’t always the strongest and they don’t always have the answers. A good leader can take help, and it’s alright to.”

“I do not need some fatherly advice, but…I will take it as the wisdom from one leader to another.”

“Good, because that’s all I meant by it.”

“I am sure,” she said with a slightly amused smile. “Goodnight Cliff.”

“Goodnight Fragile.”

And with that, Cliff left her in the living room and went to bed himself.


	19. A Bridge to Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, one more chapter and then we're onto the third act! It's been great writing this but I can't wait to get to the point where they're all adults and to basically get more into when the game's story took place (but with my own spin obviously). Thank you as always and I hope you're still enjoying this!

Higgs woke up in steps. His eyes remained glued shut, even with the light slowing appearing on the other side. His head went under his pillow. He threw an arm on top, trying to block out the light even more as his breathing became a bit stuffy. His feet just barely hung off the edge as he twisted around and accidently kicked the blanket off. A noise happened in the back of his throat, but no one responded. That meant Sam was already up.

Another groan escaped his lips and Higgs grudgingly pulled himself up. The only reason he didn’t try to go back to sleep was because Fragile had stayed the night. Otherwise he would have waited for Sam to come back and attempt to drag him out of bed.

He yawned, stretching before he finally got up and moved out of their room. He could hear the bustle of everyone though that wasn’t too surprising. He walked out and—

“What happened to you?”

Fragile turned around, already fully dressed and her shoes on. “Simply time for a cut.”

“Didn’t mean your hair-looks nice by the way-I meant the fucking gash on the back of your head!”

“Just an incursion a little while ago. Thank you again for letting me stay.”

“Don’t you want breakfast?” asked Sam.

“There is work to be done. Though I suspect I will see you much more often in the coming days until Målingen and Lockne finish. Until then.” Fragile headed out the door after respectfully nodding to everyone. Higgs continued to blink in confusion.

“Hang on, what the hell happened?”

“Mules,” Cliff explained. “The wound reopened at some point and she needed some help stitching it up. It wasn’t a must, but she ultimately decided that would be easier to do that if she cut her hair first. So I helped with that too.”

“Gotcha.” Higgs rubbed his face again.

Cliff laughed. “The twins run you that ragged yesterday?”

“Something like that. Ready to work though. Just give me like three breakfasts and I’ll be good.”

“You don’t need to eat that much,” Sam said.

“Well I am still growing.”

“Yeah, and it needs to stop!”

The boys got into their usual amount of teasing as they all grabbed what they wanted for breakfast before beginning the day’s work. They didn’t see Fragile at the distribution center when they went to get some orders. Neither did they see her when they returned, but as promised, they did see her far more often in the coming days than they had in the past few weeks.

Usually they just nodded in each other’s direction or gave a small hello, but it wasn’t surprising that Fragile eventually asked if they wished to join her on another order. It was in a direction she had not been in with two of her men. Sam and Higgs agreed and the group of five started what looked to be about a three day journey.

Though Fragile didn’t start out with asking it, she did eventually go, “So still a no to joining up?”

Higgs replied, “Listen, you keep asking us to join up, but how about you really tell us why we should.” He could tell his remark surprised Sam. They had vocally said no time and time again. But Higgs had been thinking about it nonetheless. Sam didn’t argue at the moment. To be fair, it was a valid question that Fragile hadn’t really gotten into.

“Say you are going to a place you have not been. But Fragile Express has reached,” she began. “You will have contacts. My men will act as back up or support for you if you need it. I expect you to do the same for them. Say something goes wrong. You are too far from shelter. Some preppers with Fragile Express will give you a roof. Or technology. I know you share an odradek with Cliff. I can make sure you each have that. I get the best for me and my people. The investment ensures longer and more successful deliveries. It is worth it even if the cost can hurt in the moment. And you can call upon my services so no matter how far you are, if you need a message sent back to someone, I will take it for you. You are still autonomous. Some workers are more autonomous than others. But if you wish for support from us, I expect some in return. An equal exchange. No?”

Higgs slowly nodded. What she was saying at least seemed fair. In practice, it could be different, but Fragile didn’t strike Higgs as a person that said anything besides exactly what she intended. Despite how he and Sam had been adamant about not joining, Higgs was warming up to the idea. For one thing, they wanted to push farther and longer. They wanted to go to other cities. Having some type of support system could at the very least help them with navigating the terrain, or it could give them invaluable help that would have otherwise been a death sentence by themselves.

Fragile’s goal also appealed to Higgs. He and Sam hadn’t directly talked about it though they both knew it wasn’t a bad goal. It was admirable to try and fill in where Bridges couldn’t or simply chose not to. But it had made Higgs wonder what he really wanted to do as he started to take that step from teenager to an adult. He didn’t think he could just mindlessly carry packages back and forth forever. The journeying itself was enjoyable, but Higgs did want more of a goal. Something to strive for. Maybe this was an answer to that.

Still, Higgs didn’t say yes or no to Fragile. Instead, he talked it over with Sam when it was time for everyone to rest their feet. They sat away from the others as everyone quickly ate or massaged their aching shoulders.

“You know,” Sam murmured, “I’m honestly not surprised.”

“That I’ve been thinking about this?”

“Yeah. You’ve always been more complicated than me.”

“I feel like I should be insulted.”

“Ha ha.” Sam lightly punched him on his shoulder. “You know what I mean. I’m happy to just continue how I am. I like having a simple mission, not being around anyone, and then just hitting repeat. I like doing what dad does.”

Higgs let out a small sigh. “Then I guess it’s a definite no.”

“I’m not saying that. Even if I’d rather not really get hitched to anything, there is definitely a benefit to it. Especially once we start moving to other places. Dad won’t always be guiding us either. Having others we could rely on could help, give us some added backup like she said.”

“So that means…”

“I have to think about it? Talk to dad? I don’t know. It’s a big commitment.”

“I know. I know. I just…” Higgs shrugged. “I really want to see what else is out there. If there’s more that can be done. Maybe joining Fragile is that answer, or maybe it’s a step that will get me somewhere else.”

“You could just do it then.”

“What?”

“We’re not just kids anymore. If you really wanted to…”

“I don’t want to do it if you’re not into it. Or if Cliff disapproves. You’re both my family. You’re more important.”

Sam lightly smiled at that. “Dad wouldn’t disapprove I think. If anything, he would have probably joined if he were younger. Even if he’s grown used to it now, his main reason for being a loner was to protect us from Bridges. Considering all the stories he told me-told us-I’m sure becoming the sole porter he is now was a harder change for him than he lets on.”

“That’s fair. So…I guess we can talk to him then? And you can think about it?”

Sam nodded. “And I think we can finally give Fragile an official answer. You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if she could tell you were indecisive and that’s why she’s continuously pushed but stopped with dad.”

“Maybe so. She is fucking intuitive at times.”

By that point, it looked like everyone was ready to move on. Sam and Higgs stretched as they stood, and then the small company continued.

The deliveries mostly went off without any trouble besides some BT infested areas. They made it back to Middle Knot, said their goodbyes to Fragile, and then talked to Cliff as promised. Sam had been right. Higgs had suspected he was, but actually hearing Cliff’s affirming words eased any uncertainty. Even then though, they didn’t have an answer to give. Now they knew Cliff supported the choice, but they still weren’t sure if it was the choice for them. They decided they still needed a bit more time to figure all of that out. Maybe if part of Fragile’s company ever needed to make a long journey to Lake Knot, they would join them. Perhaps that would help to finalize an answer.

Either way, they tried not to let those thoughts completely control all their conversations. They talked of other things and focused on the orders when they were out doing those. They saw Fragile quiet a bit and did one more order by her side before the twins finally finished with her device.

Over a week had passed. Sam and Higgs found out about it from an impromptu visit from Fragile at their home. Cliff answered the door and Fragile walked in, practically beaming.

“I take it you have something good to tell us?” asked Cliff.

“Yes, and thanks to give. Trusting Målingen and Lockne has proved an excellent investment.”

With those words, their eyes traveled down to Fragile’s hip. Again, a device rested there. It was just as compact as it had been before, but definitely looked different. Parts seemed to be added on, meaning it looked bulky but seemed just as, if not lighter than the original. Still, it seemed an odd design choice. If it was for some scientific reason, Sam and Higgs couldn’t figure it out. However, before they had a chance to ask, Fragile unhooked it. The device flipped open and she held it over her head.

“Holy shit, they must have put all they had into that thing,” Higgs muttered.

“It’s an umbrella,” Sam said.

“Yes. And no. Much more but can serve as that too. As I am back in business, I will likely see you all less. Yet I still wished to inform you of the development. Though I am sure Målingen and Lockne will tell you of this too.”

Higgs smiled at that, already imagining the twins and their excited explanations for exactly what they’d made. “I don’t doubt it.”

“I wish you the best of luck,” Cliff added. “And should you ever need another proper meal, you are welcomed here.”

“Thank you. I will have this specific location in the chiral reader after all,” she said with a small smile. “Until then. Sam, Higgs.” She bowed her head slightly at each of them. “Cliff.” And with that, she was suddenly gone in a small puff of chiral matter that quickly dissipated.

As her departure was sudden, it didn’t give Higgs or Sam a chance to finally come to a conclusion. Their thoughts were more firmly put on a back burner as it seemed it would be some time before they saw Fragile again.

And it was.

A month came and went. They were all busy as the weather was getting colder and worse. It meant deliveries took longer on average and became more dangerous around this time. Snow and BTs were especially a dangerous mix. Stories had been told of people getting caught by them simply because the flakes underneath their feet crunched and compacted together a little too loudly. But even so, deliveries were still needed. In a way, they were even more important now as many porters took fewer orders around that time of year or avoided the job entirely for their own safety.

It was at that time that Fragile appeared again.

Higgs and Sam met with her at the distribution center as she and a small group suited up. She was still sporting the short haircut and the cut on the back of her head seemed completely clear. It didn’t take long for her to convince Higgs and Sam to join them. Sam simply made sure to pass a note on so that when his dad returned, he knew they would now be taking longer and wouldn’t be back for a few days.

Sam asked if there was a reason Fragile was up there. Did her device still work alright? It turned out it was pure coincidence they’d run into each other and Fragile was simply accompanying her current employees like she did in many parts of the country. As she stated, “I am not much of a boss if I refuse to work alongside my employees too.”

As for the device, it was still working perfectly. Fragile started with telling a few tales about it and how the improved form had even helped her get out of a few scrapes. Considering all the praise she was giving it, Higgs made sure to say she should visit Målingen and Lockne before she left. They would be thrilled to know it had been working well and even more excited to do a checkup on it.

“A checkup. That is an excellent idea,” Fragile agreed before asking Sam and Higgs of their own tales along with how Cliff was doing.

Throughout the beginning of the delivery, there was a lot of talk to be had. One of the people they were with had accompanied them on the long journey from South to Middle Knot so they were able to catch up with her as well. Everyone changed in their positioning, sometimes leading, sometimes watching their back. Fragile and Sam were only the ones with DOOMS so around BTs, they both led everyone through the patches.

There was to be a major stop, but there were two smaller ones along the way and one small one that they would pause at on the way back. The first day passed and they successfully dropped off the two small orders. They rested and then continued on the following day.

The plan was to make it to main destination and to head back. Hopefully it would be easy, and they would get some orders to take back to Middle Knot as well.

But then, every delivery always involved a large measure of hope and very few actually maintained it all by the end.

They were walking across an open field with a line of trees up ahead. They were careful. Everyone kept their eyes moving and looking around. But the sky was clear, even if it was a cold day. The area didn’t have any reports of mules or terrorists. There were no encampments nearby. At least there shouldn’t have been—

The woman walking next to Higgs hit the ground first. Involuntary. Cold.

Fragile flashed to the front, grabbing her leading man and pulling him down as everyone else dropped.

Sam had an urge to look for Higgs, but he didn’t dare move. They were out in the open. It had to have been a sniper in the trees that had fired the shot. And only one shot had been fired. Higgs should be fine. For now. But how the hell were they supposed to get out of this? They were at a clear disadvantage and there was no way to tell how many terrorists were hiding. They had to act and quickly.

At that moment, Fragile flashed beside him. She checked the man that had been walking beside Sam before they all dropped. Then she turned to Sam. “Right now we need to keep low. Drop what packages we can afford to let go and then we slowly start heading east.”

“And if they have vehicles? If they start coming for us?” hissed Sam. “They’ll catch up in no time.”

“I am going to try and jump over there. See what I can make out,” she murmured.

Her man immediately grabbed her arm. “And if you appear right in the god damn middle of them?”

“I should be able to move fast enough.”

“Exactly, _should_! Or you could get ripped apart.”

“We are blind right now,” Fragile shot back. “There is no better option. I will inform the others. Start inching eastwards. Stay low.”

“Fragile—”

But she was gone.

Her man hit the ground in anger. All Sam could do was whisper, “Fuck.” Suddenly a noise in the distance could be heard. Fragile’s man glanced up. “Second that.”

Sam carefully looked too. Exactly what he’d thought might happen was occurring. Vehicles appeared from the trees, quickly gaining ground on them from meters away.

“Stay low. Keep moving,” hissed Sam.

The man nodded. Sam dropped one of the packages. The man dropped two and then they quickly started to crawl through the tall grass. They could only go so fast though. They’d have to start running eventually. Or they could stand and fight. They had guns of their own, but their rubber bullets meant they needed to use more to take down one of their men. And if they fired, then they could possibly die. And they didn’t have any cover to hide behind for a fight. So standing their ground would probably just fucking get them killed.

Shit, there weren’t any good options. In another few minutes, those trucks would be fucking upon them.

As Sam was thinking this, Fragile had gotten the majority of her men moving. She was now beside Higgs and her woman that had fallen. It wasn’t the first employee Fragile had lost. It didn’t hurt any less, but at least she managed to keep her immediate emotional response under control this time. She explained what Higgs needed to do and—

“Higgs,” she hissed. He didn’t respond. It looked like he hadn’t heard a single fucking thing she’d said. She hit him hard in the shoulder. “Higgs, move!”

But her words weren’t filtering in. All Higgs’ senses had just shut down the moment the woman had gotten shot. Every sense except one. An innate one that Higgs was simultaneously connected to and not. A sense that was repeating in his head again and again in a voice that wasn’t quite his own.

_Take it. Take it. Take it. Takeit. Takeit.Takeittakeittakeittakeittakeittakeittake—_

Oh. So that’s what it had always been.

Walking up to the corpse, the connection had slowly grown and started out low energy. This had been like a punch in the gut though. The feeling was faster than a shock and thrice as great. It was all encompassing. He could practically feel it bleeding off him now. The corpse had been dead for about a day, like taking from a glass half full. But now the glass was trying to overflow and Higgs had to push the energy somewhere.

It was the corpse. The connection was to death, was death itself. Was pulling from this right? He’d literally just been talking to her. Did taking this energy change how she passed through the Beach? Could he even stop himself from taking it? Was it right to use it? Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. But Higgs had to do something with it. The energy was too much. He had to guide it out somehow—

“You will be left if you do not move! Higgs!”

He jolted as Fragile punched him hard in the shoulder for a second time. Everything filtered back in. It was hard to catch up with it all, but Higgs could get the gist of what was going on. They had one dead. They had to keep anyone else from dying. Now that Higgs understood where the connection came from, maybe it wasn’t right to use it. But at least he could use it for the right reasons. Higgs started to scan the area.

“Finally,” growled Fragile. “I do not want to have to tell Sam you got killed for incompetence.”

“What are you going to do?”

“You will not stop—”

“What are you going to do?” repeated Higgs.

They carefully looked at each other. Fragile glanced at the trunk. It was seconds away. There wasn’t time to argue. “I go in there, see what they have, destroy and knock out if able.”

“Good. I’ll stop the truck.”

Understanding passed across Fragile’s eyes. “It has returned.”

“I’ve got your back,” agreed Higgs. “Watch mine?”

“Agreed.”

With that, Fragile suddenly disappeared. And Higgs? He basically gave Sam a heart attack then and there. Sam had paused again, looking back and trying to decide if now was the time to make a run for it. His eyes immediately fell on Higgs though as he stood up without hesitation.

The feeling inside Higgs started to spill over and Higgs began guiding it. Besides having more to work with, Higgs could tell this was immediately easier. It was almost like it was fresher, more malleable. His hood beeped before flipping up as clouds instantly formed overhead. It started to snow-had he caused that?-and he began to root himself into the earth.

It was the opposite of what he’d done before. Rather than just immediately trying to pull out the tar, he used the connection with death to find the living. Then he pulled at them.

The truck skidded to the left and stopped as the men inside were jerked around. Higgs could feel those farther away falter. And then—

Higgs’ hand shot up. A wall of tar shot forth and stopped the bullet. Higgs wasn’t thinking. If anything, his mind had grown calmer and more silent than it ever had been. His other hand came out. The tar rose with it, cementing the truck in the earth as the men desperately jumped from it. Shots started firing off in the woods. Fragile’s work. He felt the pull but instead of dragging it forth, he let it pull him.

He jumped.

Suddenly Higgs was in the woods. His elbow connected with a woman’s nose before his opposite hand guided the tar up. A tendril wrapped around her neck, pulling her head down and right into Higgs’ knee as he spun around. He watched Fragile jump. When she came back, her non-lethal weapon was aimed at a man. It went off, knocking him to the ground. One with an electric baton swiped at her. She dodged before kicking him Higgs’ way. She jumped from the area right as the black wrapped around the man’s arms and flattened him to the ground.

As all that went on, Sam squelched the questions and rising fear and anger. Instead, he and the rest of Fragile’s men banded together. They rushed towards the forest but continued to keep low in case the sniper was still active. It proved the right choice as a shot rang out and nearly hit them. However, Fragile and Higgs immediately took note. Fragile jumped. She appeared in the trees, swinging from one branch as her boots connected with the sniper’s chin. The sniper fell from their perch with a thud. Still, they tried to stand. However, Fragile had already jumped to their location, her boot connecting with their face again. She dodged the next attack and jumped again.

Sam fired at the men and women that had jumped from the vehicles. Though being in a field was less than ideal, the silence from the sniper’s end ensured a more even playing field. They took them down, one of Fragile’s men staying behind to tie them all up in case they weren’t as knocked out as they looked. Sam and the others finished the rush to the forest.

They came just in time, taking out a few more terrorists right as Fragile and Higgs helped each other take down the last one. Higgs launched him in the air with the tar. Then as he fell, Fragile jumped over. Using her momentum, she kicked him hard in the head and the now knocked out body quickly rolled across the forest floor.

Everyone immediately reacted like there was someone else to fight, but slowly the weapons were lowered when no threat was noted. Everyone was able to breath a sigh of relief. Except for Sam. His anger was back. How could Higgs have been so stupid! He could have gotten himself killed! There was no way in hell he actually knew he wouldn’t have. That bullet could have ripped straight through his skull! If he tried to fucking argue—

“I can’t believe you fucking jumped!” Fragile said, shouting out Sam’s own worries. It was clear she was exhausted, yet she was putting everything into her words at that moment. “You have not the slightest idea how it works. You could have gotten lost. You could have gotten stuck on the Beach!”

“She’s right—” But Sam’s words stopped in the back of his throat and his immediate anger disappeared again as Higgs finally turned around.

There didn’t seem to be any wounds on him though he was breathing heavily. However, the thing of note were the tears falling down his face. Only they were made of tar and stained his skin as the thick drops rolled down his cheeks.

“What? It…worked…didn’t…”

Higgs didn’t get out another word as he collapsed on the ground.

“Shit!” Sam rushed to his side. He rolled him over, but he immediately noted Higgs was still breathing. He’d simply collapsed from all the pressure. Sam pulled his head into his lap, gently wiping Higgs hair to the side as he tried to figure out what the still falling black tears meant.

Fragile came over but upon seeing him still breathing, quickly said, “Get him awake and aware again if possible. We can’t stay.”

“I know,” Sam replied. His eyes followed Fragile. She immediately went to work giving out orders despite how her nose was now profusely bleeding. Then Sam began to gently get Higgs to wake up. After a moment, Higgs’ eyes blinked open, glazed in confusion. “You know where you are?”

“Y…yeah. Yeah I do,” Higgs murmured.

Sam gently wiped at Higgs’ face. The tears smeared. It looked like he would have to scrub his face clean to really get the aftereffects gone. Sam let out a tired sigh. “Just know I am really angry with you, but right now the worry is outweighing that.”

“I’m ok.”

“You just collapsed Higgs! And I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re crying black.”

Higgs’ hand quickly came up. At least Sam could count that as a good sign. Already Higgs seemed to be gaining more awareness though he was still clearly weak. His gloved hand came back stained black as a small frown formed on his lips. “I did that?”

“I don’t know if you should say you did it exactly. My guess is it was a result. You seriously over did it.”

“Had a lot more to work with,” whispered Higgs.

“You did?”

He nodded. “I found the source. But…I’ll explain it later. ‘K?”

“Yeah, of course. Can you sit up?”

“I’ll try.”

Sam pulled Higgs up but continued to support him as he slouched over. They sat in silence, Higgs practicing slow, careful breaths as Sam kept his eye on him. Fragile eventually came back around to them.

“We are lucky. Besides our casualty, there is none other dead. Even if I were to wish it.”

“It would be tricky getting more up to the incinerator,” Sam admitted. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

She slightly inclined her head before getting straight to the point again. “I have sent my fastest to take the body there. He should make good time. We should not camp here though. The snow is increasing. BTs may form.” She gave Higgs a careful glance at that.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“You did that?” asked Sam.

“I think so. Could have been a coincidence.”

“Assuming coincidence negates what likely occurred,” sighed Fragile. Her gaze narrowed and she focused back on Higgs. Even pale and forced to wipe her bleeding nose again, she was a sight to behold. “You should not have jumped.”

“Well if it helps, probably couldn’t do it again,” Higgs replied. “Connections still there but I used up a lot of it.”

“I see.” She looked around and added, “All the terrorists are tied up. We are destroying their weapons and then taking what materials are deemed useful from them. The packages we had to drop we will go back for before we begin moving as well. Be ready to go soon.”

“Understood.”

Sam stayed with Higgs until it seemed most of the work had been done. Then he made sure Higgs was alright before getting up to grab his old packages. He also grabbed Higgs’ as those had gotten left behind when he’d jumped. Sam resituated the orders including Higgs’. Then he added some of the terrorists’ materials. They sadly couldn’t get rid of them, but at least for the moment the area would be safe to travel through for a while. It would take the terrorists a while to get weapons and working vehicles again.

Fragile ate another one of the small creatures. She had more with her which helped, and Sam suspected the twins’ new design had helped her control the power so that she hadn’t overdone it as badly as she could have.

“We move now. Come.”

Everyone started to head through the woods. Sam reached down to help Higgs up. He was able to stand for a couple of seconds before his knees started to buckle.

“Woah, hold on.” Sam gently set him down. He shifted so that one of Higgs’ arms was wrapped around Sam’s shoulders. He held him tightly, pulling him up again as Higgs’ tall form slouched against Sam’s side. They weren’t able to make it much farther though before Higgs collapsed again.

Fragile looked back. “We must keep moving.”

“I know,” Sam replied. He tried to help Higgs up again. “Come on.”

“I am,” hissed Higgs.

“You’re really not. You can’t even hold yourself up.”

The company paused and Fragile walked over. She leaned down and carefully looked him over. “If a cryobite would help, I would give it to you.”

“I am not eating that damn thing.”

Fragile rolled her eyes. “I don’t think it would help anyways. But you cannot keep going.”

“I’m fine—”

“Higgs, you can’t stand,” shot back Sam. Still, that didn’t exactly give them a solution. They could try to carry him, but it would be difficult and slow their pace still.

Fragile knelt beside them as an idea seemed to appear in her head. “You could jump home. Then you can rest all you need.”

“I’m not just abandoning you.”

“What? Because you’re doing so much good now?” asked Sam. “I think it’s a good idea, but could he even do it? And what about your concerns? About him getting lost in the Beach? Wouldn’t going a farther distance risk that even more?”

“If he was doing it on his own, yes,” Fragile replied. “But a living human is not cargo and I can do it. With your permission, I could guide you home.”

Higgs looked ready to argue but Sam shook his head. “It’s a better option than staying here. You’re not going to reach the end of this journey on your own feet. That much is obvious.”

“Fuck. I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know, but I think it may be the best option.”

“You trust me to do this?” asked Fragile.

Sam nodded. Higgs murmured, “Who else we got?”

“Just me.”

“Yeah. Trust you well enough. You helped save my skin too.”

Her lips slightly quirked up at that. “Alright. We will try then. Everyone, wait for my return. I won’t be long.”

She got on her knees since Higgs couldn’t stand and helped support him. Sam finally stepped back. “I have not done exactly this before,” she began, “but trust me. Do not fight the feeling. It should go smoothly and I will not lose you.”

Higgs nodded.

Fragile then took her device off her hip. It unfolded and the umbrella like form floated beside them as Fragile put her hands on Higgs shoulders and pressed her forehead to his. “Think of home. Visualize it in your mind. Yes, right there. And—”

Higgs disappeared.

Fragile mere seconds later.

Higgs found himself on the floor of the living room. He fell forward and just barely caught himself. It had been a strange sensation, but he’d followed what had felt natural. He’d trusted Fragile. It seemed to have paid off as she appeared in front of him. She took her umbrella which was floating beside her and quickly put it back on her belt.

“You think that worked because my DOOMS level is still high enough, or could you do that with anyone?”

“Not sure. Will have to test it out later. Now we get you to bed.”

Higgs nodded. Now that there wasn’t any going back, there was no point in trying to argue. He was fucking exhausted and it was taking all his energy to keep his eyes open. He tried to stand on his own, but Fragile’s small form soon supported him as best she could. Even then it took a while as they struggled to the bedroom where Higgs finally collapsed in bed.

“There. Rest now. I need to return.”

“Hold on. Fragile—”

“Yes?”

“I…I think I used her. Or her connection to death.”

“The one who died?” Higgs weakly nodded. “Then death is that connection. It is good to know. Now I need—”

“I’m sorry,” Higgs interrupted. “I don’t…I don’t know if I should have used it. I don’t know if it was right.”

“But you could not help it. Correct? The energy was there the moment she died, regardless of her wish.”

“Yes.”

“Then no point in it going to waste. You helped my men. You helped me. I am incredibly thankful for that.”

“I’d do it again.”

“I know. It is why I wish for you and Sam to join so badly,” she said with a small smile. “Now, I must go before the others worry. Rest now. You deserve it.”

Higgs nodded. He watched as Fragile took her device out again and disappeared. Higgs rolled over in bed. There were so many questions in his head. So many thoughts that needed to be analyzed. But now that he was lying down, he passed out before a single one could enter his head again.

In sleep, something tried to reach him. It was something conscious. Something familiar but…

Something that Higgs felt he should avoid. But before that thought could fully cement itself, before he could recognize the source, he dipped into a deep sleep. He didn’t even dream before his eyes slowly blinked awake. He didn’t remember the thing calling to him. Really, it was like he’d opened his eyes a few seconds after lying down in that bed. He rolled over and frowned.

“Am I dreaming?” he mumbled.

“Flattered, but no,” smirked Sam.

“Aren’t you with Fragile?”

“I was. We already finished the delivery Higgs. It’s been days.”

If he’d had more energy, he would have shot up. As it was, he just struggled to lean on one arm as he propped himself up. “You’re joking.”

“Nope. Dad was worried sick. Didn’t know how you’d gotten here and why I wasn’t with you. You came to enough to tell him some things but passed out afterwards.”

“I don’t remember any of that…”

“Well you were still really tired. Not surprised. You didn’t even wake up again while dad washed your face and got you out of some of the gear.”

Higgs rubbed at his face first. No black tears came back and-yeah. He was just now noticing the gloves and boots were gone along with the suit so he was just in the clothes he wore under it all.

“You think you can eat?”

“Fucking starving,” sighed Higgs. “But…”

“It’s ok. You stay here. I’ll go grab something.”

Sam left. Higgs took the moment to push himself up into a sitting position, though he was still heavily leaning against the wall. Sam was back moments later with food in hand. He sat on the edge of Higgs’ bed and handed things over one at a time. Higgs probably would have shoveled it all down if he weren’t so weak.

They sat in the comfortable, mostly silent room. Eventually, Higgs murmured, “The connection…”

“You don’t have to tell me yet if you don’t want to.”

“No, I’d rather just get it out. It was…it was the corpse. It was her body.” Higgs took a deep breath and explained what he could. It was hard. It wasn’t like he knew he was right for sure. He was just trusting his instinct with this. Still, he liked to think his explanation was mostly coherent before he let out a small sigh and muttered, “My uncle was right.”

“R-right? About what?”

“Said I was a curse. I doubt you can get more evil than this,” sighed Higgs.

“You’re not evil. And something you can’t help doesn’t automatically make you evil.”

“But to death? That’s fucked up. It’s unnatural—”

“Really? You’re going to use that word in the world we live in?”

“Ok, fair point. But it can’t be good.”

“I mean, you’re thinking of it like it has some innate being or something. But I just see it as a tool. It’s DOOMS, fucking weird DOOMS but still that. And a tool isn’t good or bad. It’s the wielder that just chooses how it’s used.”

“Fragile said something like that.”

“Well she’s a smart girl. Fucking listen to her.”

Higgs snorted. His eyes focused downwards, only for Sam to take his free hand.

“Listen, if you don’t want to use it, if you want to avoid every corpse or order for a corpse from here on out to the best of our ability, then I support that. But using what happened definitely saved lives. And that is at least a good thing.”

Higgs nodded. To be fair, he’d kind of already known that. But the memory of his old father figure constantly berating him for how wrong he was had come back without any struggle. It was easy to tie the two things together, to think his uncle had always seen this horrid connection and that was why he’d treated him the way he had—

But no. He couldn’t have known, and even if he had, that hadn’t given him the right to do a single thing he’d done to Higgs. The connection didn’t define him. But maybe he could define the connection, if he chose to.

He turned his focus back to eating. When he was completely done, Sam took the trash and utensils. Before leaving though, he asked, “Ready for some visitors?”

“I guess, but Cliff could have just come in with—”

“He said it was alright!”

“Higgs!”

And with that the door fully flew open and Lockne and Målingen ran into his arms.

“Oof!”

“You’re ok! Thank god.”

“We were so worried. But you’re awake now.”

Sam chuckled, leaving to go put the dishes up. Higgs could only grin as he put his arms around the twins and pulled them in close. “Were you two waiting outside just for Sam to tell you it was alright to come in?”

“Maybe,” Lockne said.

“Totally,” Målingen replied.

They both wrapped their arms around him and snuggled close. Higgs added, “Wow, you must really care about me if you’re not jumping into the scientific inquiry right off the bat.”

“We’ll save it for tomorrow.”

“We just want to be with you right now.”

“I’m honored,” chuckled Higgs.

At that point, Sam came back. Cliff was following him. He was obviously welcomed but it wasn’t surprising. Fragile appearing behind them both was.

“You stayed.”

“I actually left to inform others of the lost and our progress, but yes. I came back. I wished to make sure you were alright.”

“Still fucking tired, but definitely better than before.”

“I am glad.”

Cliff moved over and the twins only let go so Cliff could fully hug Higgs. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

“Me too. Sorry I worried you.”

“It’s alright. I was just incredibly confused, and you weren’t making too much sense either.”

“Didn’t say anything weird did I?”

“Well…”

“Please don’t repeat it in front of everyone!”

Cliff warmly laughed. “I wouldn’t dare. But no, you didn’t.”

Higgs let out a relieved sigh. The twins giggled, quickly hugging Higgs’ sides again. It felt good being surrounded by those he immediately cared about. Even Fragile was a welcomed addition though from the look on her face, it was clear she was going to run off pretty soon.

And after a few minutes more, she stated just that. Cliff invited her for lunch, but she said there was too much work to do. Before she could leave though, Higgs said, “Fragile, wait just a second. Sam?”

He looked surprised. “You want to do this now?”

“I mean, when else are we going to see her again?”

Sam snorted. “Fair.”

“Besides, you really see someone when there’s a crisis. I trust her.” He turned to Fragile. “And I meant what I said before. I’d do it again.”

“As would I.”

“Then…”

Sam finished the thought for him. “We’ll join your company. There is certainly a benefit to the numbers, and you’ll risk your life for your own men rather than staying back. That’s admirable in a leader.”

“Thank you. And I thank you both for finally saying yes. Though I knew you would,” she said with a small smirk.

“Does that mean we’ll see you more often!” Målingen quickly said. Lockne rolled her eyes as Målingen tried to backpedal. “Not that I really care that much, but…you know…”

“Perhaps,” Fragile replied with a small smile. “I do have a whole company to run though. I cannot neglect the whole for the few.” At seeing Målingen’s slight pout, Fragile added, “But who knows what will happen. Thank you for finally giving an answer. Get better Higgs.”

And with that, Fragile disappeared once more. Sam and Cliff sat on the edge of the bed, leaving Higgs surrounded by loved ones. He let out a long yawn. “I could sleep again.”

The twins adamantly shook their heads. “No way, you’ve done nothing but sleep. We should watch a movie.”

“Yeah? Well if there’s any hope of me staying awake longer, I’m going to need more fuel,” snorted Higgs.

“I’ll get right on it,” Cliff replied. He leaned forward, kissing Higgs on the forehead before warmly holding his cheek. “We’ll get you back in top form in no time.”

“Appreciated, but I kind of like all the attention too.”

Everyone chuckled at that. Cliff went to make a proper meal for lunch as Higgs finally got out of the bed. The twins went to the living room and decided on something to watch. Higgs went to the bathroom first and took a quick rinse off. It felt good and brought a little more energy back to his muscles. Still, after getting dressed in fresh clothes he leaned against Sam when they joined everyone else. At least Higgs could hold himself up on his own two feet though.

He sat down and the twins quickly curled around him again. They started the film as Cliff continued to cook in the kitchen. It certainly smelled good, but despite how hungry Higgs was, sleep won again. It wasn’t ten minutes into the film before he passed out. Everyone decided not to wake him though. They simply stayed curled around his form as Cliff continued with lunch.


	20. A Bridge to the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter but I didn't want to go too far with this chapter as it marks the end of the second part of this story. Now onto the third and final part! Thank you again for all the comments and kudos. It means a lot! Also, for those curious about my playlists, I put the first one on spotify along with two new ones I made. Thanks again!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0PgnoyIQspb5mupfakxyen?si=IXI5oqL9QlekayVcuIl6jQ  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0xCYKKrGvnCfY3cOHS41rK?si=_kmXKTuhSXeSw7LqUaoU5w  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Qu9SMBnRkvTD3oLN5JwyL?si=tYvKkWHvQQG038-9GCKCtg

After a few more days, Higgs was in top form again. The twins did ask to do a few quick experiments, but only once they were sure Higgs was actually ok. What they found didn’t really go as deep as they would have liked. However, it did confirm that what Higgs had was DOOMS. Only unlike other signs, his DOOMS did fluctuate which was in keeping with the sudden waxing and slow waning of his abilities. Though nothing new was learned, the twins were able to confirm some of their other theories like that the DOOMS was responding in a manner similar to a half-life model. Of course, it might only really degrade after Higgs used it. If he didn’t use the ability, then it could possibly remain stable for a while, or at least fall at a slower rate.

Either way, everyone was just happy Higgs was alright again. And he was. He was still messing with the idea of whether he should continue using the abilities or not. It was an odd, philosophical problem that Higgs doubted he would ever have a clear answer to. For the moment, he supposed he would just have to play it by ear, decide in the moment. At least he could still see the BTs for now so Sam didn’t always have to lead.

As for their final answer for Fragile, nothing came of it right away. They continued with their jobs as usual. However, word must have spread quickly. Only a few days passed before one of Fragile’s men in the area asked if they could accompany him on an order. He didn’t want to risk doing it alone and his usual partner had broken her leg during their last delivery. Before, if Sam and Higgs were familiar with a person from Fragile Express, they might acknowledge them or say a quick hello. This was the first time one had actually asked for help.

To be fair, Fragile had said some remained much more autonomous. However, to gain benefits, you had to give a little too. Helping a fellow porter in need was certainly part of that agreement. Though if he had asked before, Sam and Higgs wouldn’t have said no anyways. Still, it was an interesting thought that helping him was kind of their real first step into Fragile’s company.

For the next month, it mostly went like that. They did their own thing, still went on orders with Cliff, and occasionally helped out other members. So far, they hadn’t asked for any help back. But they were still in their own area, working their own trails and usual orders. They would likely need the help once they started to move back east or if they ever returned to South Knot. Or perhaps they would end up helping Fragile move farther west, into the mountains and beyond. They would just have to wait and see.

After that first month, Fragile returned again. They got a message to head over to the distribution center and found her there waiting for them.

“I have heard what work you have performed so far. Thank you,” she said as way of hello. “I was curious if you would choose more autonomy, but I am glad you have continued to help your new colleagues.”

“Just paying our dues,” said Higgs. “And when we need help elsewhere, we’ll be able to count on you.”

“Exactly,” she smiled. “Speaking of, I have come to give you your insignias. So people now know you are with us.”

“No completely new suits?” teased Higgs. “I thought you had a color thing going on.”

“You can change if you wish, but it is the symbol that is important. Besides, I know you are partial to yellow.”

“The blue would just clash with my beautiful blue eyes,” Higgs agreed with a dramatic sigh that had Sam rolling his own.

As Fragile handed the symbols over, Sam asked, “So do you have an order for us?”

“No, you are doing good. Continue as you are. Though, I do know you wish to move farther east. When I plan for a rotation, I can include you in the group to go to Lake Knot.”

“That sounds good to me,” replied Higgs. “Going it alone would probably be too dangerous.”

Fragile nodded. “It does get quite barren near Lake Knot. There are places farther out, rivers, the broken chasms near South Knot, the rocky, uneven hills that-though dangerous to traverse-allow for places to hide and take shelter if needed. But around Lake Knot is only dust and maybe long grass if you are lucky. There are less terrorists, but many mules patrol the area. More than once my men have gotten unlucky. Even in a group.”

“We’ll keep that in mind when we finally head out there.”

“Good. I will see you either when Lake Knot is to go through, or sooner if I need you. Now I believe Målingen and Lockne requested another check-up around this time, and then it is on to South Knot for now. Until next time.”

And with that, Fragile disappeared again for the time being. Higgs and Sam got to putting on the symbols fairly quickly, though actually baring Fragile’s name didn’t change much in their current area. They knew everyone well enough already. However, those symbols would hopefully do more good when they moved away, like the time they’d stayed with the prepper near South Knot.

Time continued to march on. Fragile visited again before offering the Lake Knot journey. When she came, it was to participate on another order with her men. This one wasn’t alongside Sam and Higgs, but they did see her off and saw her again once she got back. Before leaving, she caught them up on a development involving her jumping.

“I have tested it out. First small steps. Then larger ones. I knew people did not count the same as cargo, but now I know I can pass them across my Beach.”

“That’s great, right?” Higgs said.

“It could be. Yes. If men are suddenly needed in one area, I could quickly move them there. But cargo still cannot go. And there is another crux.”

“What is it?” asked Sam.

“Though I guide them, if the person has not been to a location, I cannot send them there. Målingen and Lockne hypothesize that there is some kind of internal, chiral print that occurs when a person arrives at a location. Neither my device nor my own record of locations can supplement for that person.”

“So you couldn’t just zap us to Lake Knot if we wanted to go,” said Higgs.

“Correct. Though I could send you both to South Knot. Luckily, the continual rotations of my men means that all should see the majority of our regions. It will take time, but eventually I will be able to send you both to other places should it ever prove necessary.”

“We’ll keep that in mind,” Sam said.

“Do you think I could do it too?” asked Higgs.

“Well you did jump,” murmured Fragile. “But it is still hard to say if it works exactly the same. And of course, your powers are not consistent. Still, it was you thinking of home that allowed me to guide you back there and I do not see how you would be able to pinpoint a place if you had not been before. If you replenish your abilities, we could test some of the boundaries. And with me helping, there would be less risk.”

Higgs frowned. “Maybe. I still haven’t exactly decided if I should actively use them.”

“Which is your choice,” agreed Fragile. “And you certainly not replace me. After one lengthy jump, I would imagine much of your abilities would be depleted. Still, if you decide to look into it, it could be useful. And I will help.”

“Thank you. So are you heading out again?”

Fragile nodded.

“Any idea when the Lake Knot expedition will occur?” asked Sam.

“Soon. I will give you warning beforehand though. Do not worry of that.”

“Until next time?” he asked.

“Next time,” she agreed before disappearing again.

Sam and Higgs turned back to their deliveries. The usual pattern continued for three more weeks. After that, they were finally given a date and time for the Lake Knot departure. It was an exciting prospect though bittersweet at the same time as Cliff said he wouldn’t be joining them. Depending on the length of their journey, he might head in that direction. Or if really necessary, Fragile would be able to jump one of them back home. However, the journey would prove a good first step as they transitioned from teenagers to adults. They wouldn’t have Cliff to just trust and rely on. They would have to come up with their own decisions, even in the heat of the moment.

Cliff’s trust in them didn’t negate the danger though. There was a chance that one of them might die on it. Maybe both. But every delivery came with that risk. Living in fear and refusing to push forward because of that would only stunt their life and future. Still, because of that chance, and because it would be a long journey, Higgs finally brought up something he’d been thinking about since before the journey to South Knot. The timing was also somewhat fitting. Higgs’ twentieth birthday was still a little way’s off and it was about the seventh anniversary since he’d joined Cliff and Sam’s family.

He told Cliff and Sam about it when they still had a week before their journey to Lake Knot. That way they would be able to get back in time and still have a moment to rest before the departure date.

“I want-no I feel like I need to do something before going to Lake Knot. I need to go back home. My original home. I can do it by myself, but…I’d really rather not.”

Despite Higgs’ hesitance, he didn’t have anything to worry about. As Sam had promised on the trip to South Knot, he would still go with Higgs. Cliff also said he could lead them there, or simply provide instructions if Higgs wished to just do it with Sam. It took him a while to decide, but he ultimately wanted Cliff to join them. Higgs didn’t have any idea what they could find. Better to have Cliff with them, though for physical, emotional support, or even both, Higgs wasn’t sure.

They left quickly, still taking a few packages so that some work could be done along the way. However, the focus was for Higgs so they got those packages over with early on. The direction Cliff took them happened to go through the small town where Sam had spent his earliest years. Sam remembered some of it, though the town was nothing but ruins thanks to the timefall. Still, Cliff managed to spot their old home, reiterating some tales before they made it out of the rusted metal and empty lots.

From there, it only took a few more hours before Cliff was guiding them right up to the old bunker. Despite how Cliff hadn’t been in years, the muscle memory kicked in as they grew closer and he found the exact spot. When they came upon it, they all noticed the door was open. It was just as Cliff had left it though the bunker had clearly become worn down thanks to the timefall.

Seeing it again made Cliff’s stomach curl. So many times he’d visited Monaghan, not knowing how Higgs had been stuck inside. He wished he’d known sooner. He was thankful he had at least arrived on the day he had.

As for Sam, he was trying to picture what his dad and Higgs had gone through at that time. He’d never been given all the details, but a picture had formed despite what had been left unsaid. He glanced at Higgs. He’d changed a lot from being the underfed, scarred boy that Sam had found under his bed.

Higgs took the lead once they were actually in front of it. Sam and Cliff took a step back, giving him space as Higgs paused at the rusting, open door. His fingers ghosted over the edge before his eyes turned to the steps. He quickly walked forward.

He remembered the fight with his uncle. However, the bunker no longer showed signs of it. The table and chairs had been put back in their place. Nothing broken lay on the ground. The shelves were almost completely empty. So his uncle had remained in the bunker for at least a little while after the fight. Enough to put things back in place before leaving. If…he had left. By choice. And then maybe someone else had shacked up here for a bit. Or maybe…what exactly happened?

His uncle could have left. But he also could have already died and been taken to an incinerator. Or maybe someone had raided the place and taken his uncle against his will.

Higgs didn’t have any answers yet. He started to search.

As Higgs walked around, Sam took in the main room. He recalled the prepper they’d stayed with. They had managed to make their space feel like a home, warm and safe. But this? Even if Sam tried to place items in his mind, it just felt too cold. He could see marks all around, ghosts of past skirmishes, perhaps the sign of a plate having been thrown against the wall. Higgs disappeared into one room and Sam followed.

A cot with a thick layer of dust rested against one wall. The room was almost as empty as the main room. Still, Higgs pulled apart what he could. He searched and searched—

His hands found a book that he pulled out from an otherwise empty drawer. Sam almost asked if the room had once been Higgs’. Had he kept other journals while stuck here? But upon opening it up, Sam realized the handwriting was different. So then it was…

Higgs flipped through it in silence. Though curious, Sam stayed where he was, waiting for Higgs to speak first. He could feel his dad moving up behind, quiet and waiting as Higgs finally stopped on a photo. It was torn and old. Some of it looked like it might have been damaged by timefall.

A woman smiled back in it, though even that seemed sad. There was a man with her, but his face was obscured by damage and impossible to recognize. “Is that your mother?” Sam finally asked.

Higgs flipped the photo over, but there wasn’t any writing in the back. He looked at the page he’d found it on, but his frown only deepened. “I don’t know.” He sounded disappointed but not exactly surprised. “Could be an aunt. Another sibling I didn’t know about. My uncle’s old wife if he ever had one. I just don’t know.”

He looked through the journal a few more times but didn’t find anything else. He’d seen his uncle write in it plenty of times. It was how Higgs had created his own habit. Maybe there would be an answer in there. Something about Higgs’ past or his uncle’s. Something about their family. But the entries were all short. They gave away nothing and near the end just got more and more disorganized in thought. Maybe his uncle had been sick in some way, but it didn’t really answer any of Higgs’ current questions.

The last entry read: _Brought this on himself. Cursed the world. Cursed. Can’t stop him now. Failed you failed you again._

The best guess Higgs had was that the line was about his leaving and himself. It made sense considering how often his uncle had called him a curse. But had it been written immediately after the incident or only a year ago? Higgs couldn’t tell. He finally threw the journal back down.

Sam and Cliff parted as Higgs left the room. He went to another one. He looked around momentarily, but it had simply been a storage room that was now empty. Higgs checked elsewhere before finally going to his old room. Unlike the rest of the place, his old room was surprisingly still full. Any equipment or food that had been stored in there was gone, but all of Higgs’ books that had kept him occupied, allowed him to escape even for a moment, were still there. An old stuffed animal still sat on his bed, right where he remembered leaving it. It had been the only toy he’d ever owned. He’d always wondered if his mother had gotten it for him before dying, though his uncle had of course never explained it.

So…perhaps it was more likely his uncle had left. He’d taken everything useful which clearly didn’t include anything that reminded him of Higgs. Or maybe…maybe he was just dead and those in need had taken the supplies and left the books. Even this didn’t really clear anything up.

Higgs let out another long, tired sigh.

“I’m sorry,” Cliff murmured, “if you’re not getting the answers you hoped for.”

“Or just any answers at this point.” Higgs rubbed his face as he remained staring at his room with Sam and Cliff at his back. “I thought…I don’t know. Maybe I would at least know for sure that he was dead, but I don’t even know that. And finding his own journal didn’t explain anything. Not why. Not about my mother or actual father. I-I don’t know what I was expecting.”

Higgs looked around again before getting onto his knees. He knelt underneath his old bed and moved underneath it. Sam frowned and walked closer. Higgs glanced over and added, “You can take a look if you want. There’s a reason you first found me hiding under your bed.”

Sam did get down as Cliff stayed off to the side. He got in close to Higgs. His eyes looked up, noticing the etchings. “Tally marks?”

“For the hours spent here. Or at least my estimate of the hours. I got bored. I would try to bring a journal or book with me, but I sometimes forgot. Usually I was too afraid to go out and grab one until I sure it was safe enough to just come out.”

Sam’s fingers carefully traced a particularly long line. Higgs noticed.

“I remember that one. It was the first time I questioned him why we had to stay in the bunker. The world couldn’t be dangerous every second, right? He whipped me bloody for that. I hid under here for about two days without food for asking it.”

Cliff clenched his fists hearing that. He closed his eyes, hiding the tears that wished to fall.

“Two days?! You could have died,” Sam said.

“And yet that was once just my Tuesday.” Higgs’ eyes traveled over the marks. He remembered the order of them, from the first to the last one. He remembered all the reasons. Each time he’d hidden for a few minutes, or long enough that he was left without a meal or two, or that he pissed himself because he felt he couldn’t risk going to the bathroom. He could remember it all.

After a moment, he started to move, and Sam quickly took the hint. Sam offered his hand and Higgs took it, pulling himself up once out from under the bed. He immediately walked over to his collection of books. It was the first thing that brought a smile to his face.

“Whatever fucking happened to him, I guess I should thank him for not destroying all of these in a fit of rage.” He went through them quickly, noting the ones that could be left behind and collecting the others.

Sam murmured, “So not completely pointless?”

Higgs paused for a moment and thought about it. “I…I guess I was hoping for a letter or something. You know? Something to at least explain why or say where he had gone so I could get my answers there. Or maybe I would just know he was dead and it was over for sure. But…I know this place is just a rotting shell now. And there’s something fulfilling in that,” Higgs admitted. “And to see how far I had to come. I don’t think it really hit me until now.”

“Of course not. This was your normal for far too long,” whispered Cliff. “But I am glad you learned to see it for what it was.”

“It was only thanks to you. Both of you and your patience with me. Which! I also know now was not the chore I made it out to be in my head. You were just doing the right thing.”

Cliff and Sam nodded in agreement. Higgs finished packing what he had. Despite not receiving the answers he’d hoped for, it felt good to see the place one last time. He’d tried, but now he felt he could slowly learn to accept just not knowing. He had Cliff and Sam. He had the twins and their parents. Now he could even say he had Fragile and her whole company at his back. He’d grown stronger and better despite how everything his uncle had done had seemed to be trying to prevent that.

The bunker had been more than a home. It had been his whole world for over a decade. He could have died there. Or worse, been forced to kill to get out with no proper concept of right and wrong. But Cliff had saved him instead. He’d raised him, filling in the gaps and helping to heal the damage that was left. Just as it was time for Higgs to begin making his own decisions as an adult, it was time for him to fully say goodbye to his past and his old man. It was time to leave the questions behind. Some shit could just never be answered or explained. It was time for Higgs to make his peace with that.

“I’m ready to go home.” To the one that really mattered. To the one that held the precious memories that didn’t hurt, and Higgs would never forget because he didn’t want to.

They headed back and upon getting home, the first thing Higgs did was get the journal he had originally brought with him. He told Sam and Cliff he would be right back. This last part he would do alone.

As Higgs walked, he flipped through it. He traced the writing with his fingers. He found the first page he’d ever written about Sam. Of course it was sad, but this time Higgs managed to laugh at his confused writings as he’d tried to understand why anyone, especially a stranger, would be so nice to him.

Once outside the city limits, he had to decide what to do. Just throw it? The next wave or two of timefall would certainly take care of it. Maybe rip it up? That could speed up the timefall process and be a bit symbolic. Or what about burning it? Well, he didn’t have any matches. So…

An idea finally came to Higgs’ mind. He dropped the book on the ground and took several steps back. This would probably sap what he had left, but Higgs was just fine with that. He pulled, and slowly the tar seeped and formed around the journal. It took a moment, but once it was completely covered, Higgs dropped his hand again. The tar disappeared into the ground, leaving nothing behind.

He wiped at the tears brought on by the chiral allergy and breathed in deeply. He would never be able to look upon those words again. Now he had really said good-bye.

Higgs headed back home where Cliff was already making dinner. For the next few days, Higgs and Sam took advantage of their time with him and relaxed before the long journey east. They made sure to spend time with Målingen and Lockne too, even taking them on one last expedition for an experiment before it was finally time to leave.

On the day of, Cliff made them breakfast one last time before kissing them both goodbye. “I know the twins will likely keep you long enough at the distribution center so I will give my farewell here. You both have grown and continue to grow into the two wonderful, young men I always knew you would become. I love you both, and I trust you to have each other’s back.”

“Always,” Higgs agreed.

“We love you too, dad,” replied Sam.

“Until we see each other again.”

“It can’t come soon enough,” said Higgs. He went in for the hug first and Sam quickly joined in. They held each other for a moment longer. Then Cliff said goodbye again and Sam and Higgs headed out to the distribution center.

As expected, the twins made saying goodbye take even longer, especially when Fragile showed up. They talked with her a bit about the device, but mainly imparted that she and her people better take care of Sam and Higgs.

“Thanks for the concern, but we’ll be fine,” Higgs said. “Promise.”

“Yes,” agreed Fragile. “Because I will watch out for them.”

Higgs rolled his eyes but the sentiment was still appreciated. The twins also seemed satisfied with the answer. They hugged Higgs and Sam multiple times before they finally really did have to say goodbye. They turned to being introduced to the companions they didn’t know and getting reacquainted with those they’d journey with before. Then as all the packages were finally done, Sam asked Fragile, “So are you coming with us? Or elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere. But do not worry. I will meet everyone in Lake Knot. Good luck.”

Fragile disappeared again and Sam and Higgs took their first steps towards the future.


	21. A Knot with Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus begins the next part! This chapter fills in a lot considering the time skip but hopefully everyone is still enjoying it. I'll be honest, it's at this point that I originally began thinking and planning out this story, but then I realized that I wouldn't have built up any of my characters if I had just started here. The choice I made has already resulted in this being one of the longest stories I've written and I am so thankful for it. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!

Cliff had begun to wonder if anything would ever truly surprise him again. Yet somehow his boys and the world kept on doing just that.

He grew older and a little wearier, though still in excellent shape for someone of his age. The amount of orders he took lessened and the long travels he’d once gone on shortened more and more as the time slowly passed by. All the while, the children around him grew into strong, capable adults. He could already see how they were beginning to shape the world. How they would guide others and fought for the person beside them.

The evidence of that could first be seen with how Fragile continued her successful business. After a time, she eventually pushed into the west and mountains with the help of Sam, Higgs, and the rest of her men at her side. The connections grew and were strengthened with Mountain Knot and the preppers. They were finally connected with the rest of the nation, even if deliveries and information still took ages to get to them.

Fragile’s abilities helped a little with that though, especially with regards to information. Her uniqueness also grew stronger with time to the point that she could find someone connected to her and her company even without knowing their exact chiral location. It was a process that had taken a great deal of time to learn and perfect. With the twins’ help though, a simple device, a bracelet really, had been created for each person. As long as they wore the bracelets, Fragile would always be able to find them.

That meant she could also jump her men back and forth with ease by the time she was a young adult. Jumping Sam had at first caused everyone to be a little anxious. Despite no sign of a threat, Amelie’s warning about the Beach had still remained fresh in their minds. Jumping involved traveling across Fragile’s Beach specifically, but it was still the Beach. Right?

By that point, their family had grown close enough with Fragile to expose some of their complicated history. They told enough to appease her, but jumping eventually became more of a necessity. The first time was stressful, but Fragile had promised hell itself wouldn’t be able to make her lose Sam. She would guide him through safely.

And she had. Slowly, Sam agreed to jump more and more as at least with Fragile, the threat didn’t seem to be a concern.

In conjuncture with Fragile, Higgs had also slowly learned to understand his own powers. Choosing whether or not to use them had been a difficult conflict at first, but after many years he’d resolved it. He could admit to liking the strength it brought him, especially once he’d learned how to properly control it. But the real importance was he could protect others with it. It was that realization that had ultimately made his final decision for him. After one too many close calls, Higgs had come to realize he would never forgive himself if someone died simply because he hesitated on using his own abilities. He’d long since chosen never again. No one, whether Sam or a simple porter, would be put in danger because of that.

Of course, Higgs hadn’t come to that conclusion all on his own. He’d talked to Sam and Cliff about it before his own beliefs had been cemented. Cliff had decided not to say whether Higgs’ thinking was wrong or not. It was ultimately his choice. Cliff simply expressed that he hoped Higgs would still watch out for himself. He was just as important as any person he could possibly save, and an unnecessary risk was still an unnecessary risk. Cliff would have been more worried, except he’d seen Higgs grow into the man he now was. He’d helped raise that and in the end, Cliff knew he could put complete trust in him.

Because of their powers, a real friendship beyond simple employer and employee formed, though Fragile, Sam, and Higgs all grew incredibly close.

Outside of the DOOMS abilities, Målingen and Lockne’s intelligence had grown with age as well. When they’d turned eighteen, they had surprised everyone with their statement of, “We plan on joining Bridges.”

Sam and Higgs had originally said some choice things involving the decision. It was understandable, but Cliff could still recognize the clear benefits to it as well. On their own, they simply would never be able to achieve what their minds could create without further backing and supplies. Because of that, it was Cliff who convinced Sam and Higgs to support the choice of the twins. He of course expressed to them that they should take care and be warry of how their intelligence might be used, but of course the twins were smart enough to already know that. However, if they wanted to not just continue their expanse of knowledge but also help people as they did it, then Bridges was really the only answer in the world they lived in.

With Sam and Higgs finally supporting that decision as well, it was them who took the long trek east, delivering the twins to what remained of the center of Bridges and the UCA. Cliff hadn’t gone with them, but thanks to Fragile, he and their parents had been regularly updated on their progress. It helped to alleviate the slight bit of anxiety that rose with Sam returning to the areas where he’d been born. It had been a long time. It would have made even less sense now if the UCA wanted him back. However, despite Amelie’s past assurances, she had never reappeared to reassure Cliff again.

He had tried. He had told Sam and Higgs every time he had tried. He could make it to the Beach. He could walk there. But even with only Amelie on his mind and the red fabric from her dress in hand, he could never find her.

After years of trying, Cliff had finally stopped. Questions still needed answers, even more so in some ways as he couldn’t understand why Amelie would suddenly cut their conversations short. However, even as he began to do less active work, he still considered watching out for his boys a never-ending job. Amelie didn’t leave his mind, but he stopped trying and never returned.

More years passed. With it, Sam and Higgs were seen more as partners along Fragile’s side than simple employees. Their abilities and strengths grew, though the dangers of the world seemed to grow with them.

The twins lost their parents not long after that. An accident with an experiment outside of the city. It was a solemn reminder of just how dangerous the world continued to be. Cliff was also reminded of how lucky he and his boys were with the life they had so far lived.

Thanks to Fragile, they were able to gather in remembrance of them. After all, Sam had known them for most of his life. They had been his teachers in things that Cliff could never have explained. Higgs too, was affected. He’d opened up to them before finally opening up to Cliff after all. And of course they’d been the closest and most consistent friends of Cliff’s since moving there. Even with his familiarity with lost, it had still hurt.

But it wasn’t all the same day in and day out with occasional patches of the darker moments. There were also incredibly bright days that put a smile on everyone’s faces. One of those involved the twins too.

Not long after joining Bridges, Lockne had begun a relationship with a porter of theirs. With the passing of several years, Lockne had brought up the possibility of a child. Neither twin could have a child on their own so despite it being Lockne’s wish, it was a joint decision that was discussed between them. Målingen had agreed to carry it, and about a year later, a new member to their family had been born. As the twins had both been named after parts of Earth’s moon, they’d named the child after a more distant moon with the hopes that she would be able to go farther and achieve more than they ever could.

Callisto became a shining light amongst all of them and a clear example of what they were always fighting for. Even Fragile, who had declared babies weren’t her thing, had eventually succumbed to the small child’s charm.

Often Callisto was with Lockne. As Målingen had put it, she’d had her all to herself for a whole nine months. It was Lockne’s turn to have time with their baby. However, both were still incredibly busy with their work and the child’s father was a porter. It meant needing others to babysit the child was sometimes necessary. Thanks to Fragile’s abilities, she could either move someone to where Callisto was, or she could even move Callisto to the babysitter. It had something to do with the fact that since Callisto’s brain and recognition weren’t fully mature, Fragile’s own chiral readings overshadowed hers when it came to jumping. Unsurprisingly, the twins, with Fragile’s help, had researched that ability extensibility and it also helped to explain how Fragile had once been able to jump a Bridge’s employee and his BB.

Sometimes Sam and/or Higgs would babysit if they were taking a short break from deliveries. Usually though it was Cliff. He was happy to take up that task, but then during one drop off Lockne gave Cliff a gift that couldn’t be quantified.

Though by this point Lockne was usually in Mountain Knot, she’d come back to Middle Knot for a specific project meaning she got to personally hand over Callisto rather than it being Fragile. At seeing how excited Callisto got upon being put in Cliff’s arms, Lockne had said, “I knew she’d missed her grandfather.”

It had surprised Cliff. “Grandfather?”

“Well sure. You were almost just as constant as our own parents growing up. And considering how often we ask you to look after her, it would almost be rude to not say you were.”

Cliff had looked down at Callisto. Her tiny hands had already reached up and grasped the beard that he no longer tried to hold back. His mind had automatically flashed to a distant time. A distant conversation.

 _What do you think our grandchild will be like?_ Lisa had said it, curled beside him in the dark of the night.

_Grandchild? We don’t even have a child yet!_

She had laughed at his bemused look. So happy. So full of life. _But in eight months we will. I’m just curious. With what the world’s becoming…there’s already a little worry for our child. But what about any grandchildren we have? What will the world be like for them?_

_You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll watch out for them._

_What? With your walker and a beard touching the floor?_

_Do you think that’s what passing sixty is like? Seventy? I refuse to let my body get like that until I’m at least eighty._

More laughter had happened. More soft touches. And then Cliff had assured her even more.

_But I will still look out for them. And then when we’re gone, our son or daughter will. It doesn’t matter what the world has become by that point. I know they will successfully protect any grandchild they have. Because we’ll have raised them._

_You’re so sentimental._

_It’s the truth._

_And in answer to my first question?_

_What? What they’ll be like? Beautiful of course._

_I feel like your response is a bit biased darling._

_I only speak the truth._

And Callisto was. It couldn’t possibly have been the family Lisa had imagined. And yet still…

The tears had come hot and steady at the memory. Lockne had startled and quickly apologized if she’d said something wrong, but Cliff had managed to assure her as he wiped them away. He was happy to consider himself one of the child’s grandparents. It was one of the greatest honors he could have been given.

And with that, more time passed. Higgs turned thirty-one and Sam was thirty. Fragile was now twenty-eight, the twins twenty-five, and Callisto almost two. Cliff considered himself properly retired by that point, though he still did some small work and kept his mind and body in the best shape possible.

The children were proper adults now. They’d grown into formidable and talented people, and Cliff couldn’t be prouder of them, both with his boys who he had directly raised, and the others who he had watched grow. Considering there had been many times where he’d thought he might never get to this point, he was incredibly thankful now. He was happy to keep himself busy in peaceful solitude in between the visits and babysitting. It was an ending he would have been happy to take.

But then it seemed the universe wasn’t done with him yet.

It started as Cliff did his usual walk to the distribution center to pick up supplies and food for himself. He’d gotten a little extra to make a meal for Sam and Higgs since they would be over for lunch or dinner tomorrow. Fragile might be joining them too, though it was always hard to predict her as she continued to carry the weight of the company on her own shoulders, even with others’ support.

Cliff was selecting his order when suddenly a rush of people came through. Two were Bridges’ employees, one who had a BB, the other from Fragile Express. Fragile’s he recognized as she had been in the area for a while now and he’d talked with her on occasion. The other two he identified but hadn’t spoken with for any great length of time.

The panic that they carried with them had Cliff immediately stepping out of the way, along with the package the Bridges employees were carrying. His eyes went wide. He didn’t know of anyone on medical watch and there weren’t many that were at risk due to age. What had happened?

The one he knew, Tania, came up to him immediately as the Bridges employees set down the body and quickly called for a truck.

“Cliff! Thank god! We need your help,” she immediately said.

Cliff got straight to the point. A corpse meant time was already of the essence. “What for? You’re going to the incinerator.”

“No time. We have to go to the nearest tar lake.”

Cliff’s mind filled in the gaps. The tar lake meant going straight through camps of terrorists. And if they were ready to risk that, then that meant too much time had passed already. “You want another hand to hold a gun.”

She nodded.

“I’m not the young man that I used to be.”

“Doesn’t matter. I bet you could still outshoot me. Besides, we need anyone that can protect the truck and make sure it gets far enough away from Middle Knot.”

That Cliff could agree with. Hundreds of innocents would die if they didn’t. He immediately turned back to the terminal and began fabricating the weapons they would need. As he did so, he asked, “How?”

“Suicide. We only just now found him.”

“Shit.”

“Exactly. Some think it might have been a terrorist plant. A few more hours and we’d all be gone. Except you but…you get the idea.”

Cliff nodded. He took his weapon and handed off one to Tania. He started to pack up the ammo as the Bridges employees got a truck and put the body in the back. Cliff went through his usual, internal checklist before the non-lethal assault rifle comfortably rested in his grip. It had been a while since he’d been in a situation like this, but the muscle memory hadn’t disappeared.

“We’re ready!” yelled one of the Bridges employees.

“Coming!”

Both Bridges employees jumped in the front as Tania jumped in the back with the corpse. Cliff followed her at only a slightly slower pace. Anyone else in the distribution center quickly moved out of the way as they understood the gravity of the situation. The truck rolled up the ramp, bouncing on its axels as the vehicle’s capabilities were pushed to the limit. Cliff steadied himself when they hit a particularly rocky patch and used his foot to keep the corpse from just rolling left and right.

They only sat in silence for a short time before Tania said, “I’m actually glad you’re here. It’ll be good that Fragile will know exactly what happens here.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“We all know the chances with this Cliff. You might just be the only one to make it out of this alive.”

He looked down, hating that simple fact. If he could, he would have told them all to get out. He would drive the body the rest of the way on his own. But without others to fight off the terrorists, going through their territory would only get him so far. And if he got stuck there, then there was a chance the voidout would still be big enough to encompass Middle Knot. At least this way they had a better chance of getting the city out of the blast radius, even if it meant the three porters’ lives would be lost.

With a heavy sigh, he asked, “Is there anyone you want me to contact?”

“Not really. Fragile will be able to tell them, and it’s not like I have some great message for them. They know how I feel. And they’ll at least know I went down fighting. That’s all I could ask for.”

Cliff nodded in agreement. He’d certainly had that mentality before. He might have had it now if it wasn’t for the fact he couldn’t die.

In the past, he’d only died three other times besides that initial one. Thankfully, none of the events had caused a voidout and taken others with him. He didn’t look forward to his fifth death if that occurred, but he knew whatever discomfort he felt from the experience couldn’t outweigh the potential loss of life no matter how small.

About twenty minutes passed in the back of the truck as they continued to speed across the broken earth as quickly as possible. The battery life didn’t matter. If they had to abandon the truck at the tar lake in order to get there in time, no one minded. Walking back alive was better than nothing. Yet even with the truck pushed to the limits and the hope there, the body was already beginning to shake. Cliff could see the flakes floating upwards, drifting in a way that counteracted the physics of their forward motion or gravity. They were running out of time and fast—

“Right side!”

The shout came from the driver. Cliff immediately raised the assault rifle and turned. He couldn’t see as far as he once had. He certainly got tired more quickly and his reflexes were slower. Yet even with that, he was able to react faster than Tania, the muscle memory taking over all motor functions so his mind could consciously detect terrorists that he was not currently aimed at and who were closing in.

Even though he had known the area had several encampments, already he saw far more terrorists than he should have. The body had to have been a ploy. They had to have been planning this. And now they were going to do anything and everything to keep them from getting farther so that Middle Knot went up in a flash of light.

Cliff fired at the individuals he saw, but his mind was tracking down the bigger groups, the fellow trucks. They started to pull closer and Cliff got ready to fire at them. The terrorists would likely ram them if they had to, and if their truck toppled over, then that was it.

The Bridges employee in the passenger seat rolled down the window, leaning out and firing at the incoming people on their left. Tania was up as well, shouting out what details she saw. Cliff warned their driver when one truck was getting particularly too close and he swerved right. A truck on their left managed to pull in though. Tania yelled out, “Cover me!” before jumping over.

Cliff turned, firing at the one behind Tania. She grabbed one of their electric rods and shoved it through the front window and into the dash of the terrorist’s truck. She jumped back over just in time, Cliff helping her get on before they both turned their guns back on those around them. The fighting continued even as their truck and the ones following them continued at high speeds.

The porter in the passenger’s seat yelled out, “Down there! They’ll have to follow us single file!”

“That’s not in the direction of the tar lake!” Tania yelled back.

“It may be the best shot we’ve got,” countered Cliff. He banged hard on the window between them and the driver to get his attention. “Go for it! Now!”

“Yes sir!”

Cliff held on as the truck jerked to the left. The body rolled, but the chiral matter that was beginning to form a golden mask on its face didn’t fall off. The terrorists followed closely behind but were forced into the single file line. A bullet shot through Cliff’s upper shoulder. Blood spattered onto the truck and window behind him as Tania’s side was grazed. They didn’t let up their own spray though, their attack finally succeeding. The leading driver got knocked out. The terrorist’s truck twisted slight and fell on its side, now successfully wedged between the rocky cliffs. The other terrorists skidded to a halt behind them as their own truck quickly increased the distance between them.

“Are we good?!”

“For now!” Tania yelled at the driver. “We need to fucking hurry though! This body looks like it could go necro by the hour!”

“I don’t know where the hell I am!”

“I do!” Cliff yelled back. He threw the assault rifle over his shoulder, the motion already growing stiff and painful. He ignored it though and leaned over the edge, yelling into the open window. “Make a right up here! Now!”

The driver did. No one paused to check if each other was ok, how anyone’s wounds were. It wouldn’t matter if they didn’t make it in time. Cliff put all his energy into holding himself up and shouting instructions as he did his best to recall where they were. For a moment, he thought he might have led them estray, or perhaps the paths had warped since he’d last been there, but after far too much time had passed, they managed to roll out of the rocky chasms.

“Which way!?”

“Twenty degrees to your right!” Tania yelled back. “Thirty minutes and we’ll be there!”

“Go!”

The truck bumped along. The body began to shake uncontrollably. Tania was looking paler by the minute. It seemed that the bullet had done more than just grazed her side like Cliff had originally thought. No one said anything, all breathless and solely focused on their goal, even if it was now up to their driver to get them there.

Minutes passed. Cliff began to think he might be seeing the edge of the tar lake just on the horizon. Just a few more—

“Rainbow!”

The beeping was heard as all hoods, even those from the two in front, came up. The rain fell from the sky. The warning was too late.

Spurts of tar burst from the ground. They grew faster and larger, and larger and faster, and closer and closer they were so fucking—

The fronts wheels caught. The entire vehicle flipped forward. Metal screeched and scraped against each other as uncontrollable shouts escaped people’s mouths and Cliff was thrown to the ground. Over the vehicle still settling, a crack sounded in his ears. Cliff bit down on his left arm to muffle the noise. After managing to swallow the pained cry, he let go. He just barely able to push himself up, his right arm broken and twisted at his side. His eyes quickly took in the scene.

Tania’s body lay not far from his. Her glassy eyes stared back. Closer to the truck, the porter with the BB managed to pull himself out but the other one was pinned underneath. Then his eyes fell on the corpse. They weren’t going to make it. They’d tried. They’d put enough distance between them and Middle Knot. They had to have. But now—

Even with the obvious right in front of them, Cliff’s instinct was to cover his mouth as large handprints in the tar started to form around them. The two porters that were still alive mimicked him. They sat in silence, their lungs burning as they didn’t move a muscle. Even the BB was silent, like the little one understood exactly what was happening.

Then the truck shifted.

The porter couldn’t help it. The reaction was instinctual as he cried out in pain. The black spurts and hands zeroed in immediately, reaching up and pulling on the man under the truck. The other porter had brought a backup though, just in case. He pulled out a gun, a proper one without rubber bullets. The hands pulled the screaming man away but his partner shot him before they could take him.

There was silence a moment longer…

And then the imprints rushed to him.

He turned the gun on himself, but as the shot fired his hand went wide as an invisible thread pulled him up by his feet. The gun hit the ground with a wet splat. Now the man cried out in panic and desperation as it no longer mattered. In searching on his own person, the BB’s container became undone and it fell to the ground as well. The man pulled out a knife and Cliff quickly understood what he was trying to do.

Before the porter could, Cliff pushed himself up and rushed over to the dropped objects. The BB’s case was changing from the soft orange to a darker red as the child cried and cried. Cliff slid on the tar as the rain continued to pour around him. He pulled the BB close before grabbing the gun. He lifted his arm only for his line of sight to be obscured by blood from a cut he hadn’t noticed. He shook his head. The red mixed with the black and he aimed again—

_Bang!_

A clean shot. The porter went limp as something invisible began to consume him. It was the best Cliff could do for him, a quick, painless end. Cliff dropped the gun and cradled the BB with his good arm.

“I’m sorry little one. I’m so sorry. But it’ll be ok. It’ll—”

Cliff’s vision turned white. He blinked it away as his arms pushed against the sand. His arm was no longer broken as he looked up at the Beach and—

The underdeveloped baby cried and cried, somehow no longer in her pod.

“Shh. Shh, it’s ok. It’s ok.” Cliff took the BB up in his arms. He cradled her tiny form, rocking her back and forth until she started to still. He finally looked away from her and—

Now? Why now?

He slowly pushed himself to his feet as he kept the BB close to his chest. He walked forward, his feet going into the water. The soft waves lapped a little longer and a little higher until it reached his calves. The BB had fully calmed now though he continued to rock her. He stopped next to the figure.

“Amelie.”

“Cliff.”

It was difficult to describe. Despite everything, there was a certain amount of relief felt at seeing her. Though her answers had often just felt like questions wrapped into different forms, she had become a constant in his life before suddenly disappearing. Oddly enough, she sounded just as relieved to see him.

Cliff was silent for a moment. He’d thought about all that he would ask her if he found her again, but now that she was there, nothing was coming to him. Amelie took the opportunity to speak first for him.

“You got old.”

“I did,” agreed Cliff. “Gray hair and a beard peppered with white. More aches than I care to count.”

Amelie softly laughed at that and a small smile came to Cliff’s face as odd as it felt. It was like meeting an old friend again. A friend who had done nothing but run him in circles and even upset him at times, but a friend nonetheless. His eyes slowly looked her over. “You didn’t. Get old that is.”

“No. I must admit I’m a little envious.”

“If you could feel my aches, even in this place, I doubt you would say that.”

“But it’s those aches that help you know you’re real. That you’re alive. It’s that what I’m truly envious of.”

For the first time in a while, it almost sounded like Amelie was giving him an answer. Cliff didn’t respond at first. Like moving slowly around a wild animal, Cliff didn’t want to say anything to quickly less Amelie revert back to her usual twisted words and empty explanations. He took a deep breath, eyes focusing on the BB when he finally spoke.

“You seem real to me.”

“Thank you, Cliff. But that doesn’t make me a person.”

Cliff turned silent again. The BB made a couple of noises and he bounced her a little, holding her more against his shoulder than chest. He tried to think of what to say next, but Amelie spoke first.

“I think our gamble may have failed.”

“What gamble?”

Amelie closed her eyes. Her head turned towards the sky and when she finally opened her eyes again, tears began to slowly fall down her face. “I thought…no. I suppose the most human aspect I retained was the ability to convince myself that reality was not reality.”

“Amelie.” Cliff whispered her name, soft and pleading. “I can’t do this again. I need answers. Real answers. Last time you said Sam could be in danger. You said he couldn’t be on the Beach, but you never explained. You never explain.”

She stayed silent.

“Amelie—”

“One last project. It does hold promise. We might-no we will learn with it. It could work—”

“Amelie—”

She turned to him. Her hands came up and she gently caressed the BB’s head. Cliff wanted to pull back, yet at the same time Amelie seemed so happy and relieved at the small touch, just being near a child. She looked hopeful and Cliff didn’t know if that should worry him or not.

“One more chance. I just…I refuse to give up just yet. But Cliff.” Her eyes made contact with his. She stepped even closer, the BB almost pressed between them now. Her still young, smooth hands touched his wrinkled, old face. “I may need to count on you. Can I do that Cliff?”

Even with her sincere face, or perhaps despite it, he couldn’t just agree. He had to ask. “Why?”

“We are undeniably tied. Me and you. Your family. Your family is so much more important to all this than you can realize.”

“But what does—”

Cliff’s eyes flashed open despite how he’d been sure they were already open. His back hit the ground. Though he could already tell the wounds from before were no longer there, he could still feel the lingering aches and he had lost a good deal of blood. Black tar flowed from his mouth as he threw up on the ground, sapping what little strength he had left. His arms could no longer hold him up and he hit the ground again.

He felt like he could just pass out then and there when he suddenly heard the cry. He looked over. One hand reached out and around the pod. He pulled the BB towards him as half his face remained pressed to the muddy ground. The BB’s fear seemed to lower thanks to the confusion she instead felt at seeing Cliff. She twisted around until her face was as close to Cliff’s as it could get. He didn’t know how she’d survived. He supposed for the moment, he would just be thankful she had. What a horribly short life she would have led if she hadn’t.

One of his fingers gently traced her face through the glass as she made a worried noise.

“Don’t worry little one. We’re not done for yet.”

He rested there a little longer before he was finally able to push himself up with a tired sigh. He picked the BB up and connected her to the chest plate so his arms would still be free. He of course didn’t hook her up in anyway, not that he had the equipment necessary for that. He finally looked out to see the crater that had been made.

For the moment, the rain was gone and nothing but clear, blue sky shone above them. He looked to the arear unaffected by the crater. It took him a moment, but he eventually identified where he was. This crater was large and the side he was on was closer to Middle Knot than the tar lake they’d originally been going for. If they’d been stopped by the terrorists, Cliff could now positively say Middle Knot would have been at least partially caught in the blast radius or at its very edge.

He took a moment to lean against his own knees as his hair fell in front of his face. His eyes focused back on the BB who looked up at him expectantly.

“Don’t worry little one. I’ll get us home. It just may take a little longer than if I were a decade younger.”

The BB did a little backflip at that and Cliff stood up straight again. Covered in a mixture of his own blood, tar, and muck, Cliff started the long trek back. After a while, he started humming an old lullaby he had once sung to Sam. The BB seemed to like it, so Cliff kept it up as they slowly headed back to Middle Knot.


	22. A Knot with an Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone and hope you enjoy!

Sam walked up to the terminal. However, he didn’t unload everything despite how all objects were destined for South Knot. He kept a few but put in the rest. Then he left the distribution center and walked towards a building he’d long since grown familiar with. It had its own terminal for deliveries too. The packages he carried had that little subsection marked on them. However, once inside, Sam walked past that terminal as well. He pressed his hand to a scanner and the doors opened up into the lab.

As if on que, Målingen shot into view. Her chair skidded to a halt and tipped back before landing back on the ground with a thud. Her hair was unkempt and falling out of the ponytail. She used one finger to readjust her glasses as she held a pad in her other hand.

“You get it all?”

Sam glared back. “Never again.”

“What? It couldn’t have been that hard-hang on. Why are you covered in tar?”

Sam just let out another groan as he walked over and started unloading Målingen’s order. “Not yours. The wind farm.”

“What wind farm? You mean the one—”

“On the other side of the lake. Fragile sent me there. Then came back and finished your order,” Sam said. He grunted as he dropped the last piece on the ground.

“Careful!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He leaned back and stretched as Fragile rolled over to him.

“You could have told her no.”

“Like I’d do that to Fragile. Besides, wasn’t alone.” Sam paused. “Though that might have been better. Too much shit around. BTs got alerted right away.”

“I wonder if their mass accumulation over there has to do with the increased foliage and the fact the forest is still intact.”

“Which means?”

“Well the BTs do need to be connected to something natural. It’s why they don’t form in the middle of cities or heavily concreted areas even when timefall is at its worst. Which again goes along with the theory that timefall is an evolutionary component that either predated the BTs or came after. They took advantage of it and began to form in spaces where the timefall had destroyed the foundations. Or perhaps the timefall truly is caused by them as a component to spread their population. But that’s off topic. The point is that in forests, they have more to connect to. Going by this idea. I wonder what might happen if a BT was connected with living energy beyond plant life though. Like an animal or a person.”

“A voidout,” Sam deadpanned.

“I don’t mean between the BT and its original body or when someone gets swallowed. Obviously the mass coexisting within the same space would cause a voidout. But what if a BT originating from someone else was somehow connected to a living person rather than the ground? That might have radically different effects. On both individuals even. And considering how we think of BTs, could a person tethered to a BT be considered alive in our conventional sense?” Målingen looked to Sam for an answer.

He just blankly stared back.

She rolled her eyes hard, scooting closer in her chair so she could smack Sam in the arm. “You have no vision.”

“I’m tired.”

“Don’t tell me you’re leaving me! I thought you said you’d stay until Fragile was able to jump you to Middle Knot,” Målingen huffed.

“Not abandoning you yet,” grumbled Sam. He collected himself and started to walk back towards the door. “Shower.”

“I swear. Sometimes it seems like your goal is to say as little as possible. You were more talkative when we were kids.”

“Say what needs to be said. No point in saying more.”

“Well you keep at that and you’re just going to devolve into grunting.”

Sam made a noise in the back of his throat as a response. It made Målingen roll her eyes again and the two shared a quick, amused smile even as Sam continued on his path to the door.

“Fine, fine. Take your shower. But if Fragile comes sooner than expected, you better come back to say goodbye.”

“Fragile’ll stop by.”

“Well obviously. But I’m talking about you. Especially since you’re not planning on coming back to South Knot for a while. Promise me Sam.”

He grunted in response. It elicited another groan from Målingen as he walked out of the lab and headed back to the distribution center.

Besides the sudden move to the east coast for that one delivery, Sam had been working in South Knot for several weeks now. Even with Fragile’s ability to jump having improved, doing it day in and day out for hundreds of employees would have been impossible. Because of that, continually rotating groups was still the preferred method. It kept anyone from getting too complacent in one area. People also regularly got the chance to work in areas they considered home, giving them time to see family and friends without playing favorites by just assigning people to one spot.

There were several more workers from Fragile Express in South Knot, but Sam had mostly been working on his own the past couple of weeks.

He’d never regretted his decision to join Fragile, even if it had initially been Higgs’ idea. Sam now thought of Fragile as a close friend, and the majority of her other employers Sam knew and trusted now. But he still appreciated the solitude more than others. He liked walking across broken wastelands in silence, barely saying a word as he stayed on the move for days at a time. Even if he might miss Higgs’ or Fragile’s presence, sometimes he just needed a moment to himself. Away from people and their proximity and even their words.

Thankfully they understood. And Sam didn’t really consider himself phobic to touch any more either. But there were just times where he needed a break. Sometimes that meant one delivery. Other times, like now, it meant working on his own for a couple of weeks. However, seeing his dad and Higgs again would simply be made all the sweeter because of it. And it had been good to talk with Målingen, even for that short moment.

With that thought, he made it inside and headed down to his private room. The last part taken off was the bracelet that linked him to Fragile and it was the first thing he put back on after getting out of the shower. Having her as backup, even if he were alone, was a great comfort indeed.

After getting dressed in his pants and tank top, he thought about passing out. He was exhausted after that trip to the windfarm and then finally finishing Målingen’s order. However, he had only talked to her twice now despite working in the area for several weeks. She’d pout if he didn’t visit again so Sam decided to go ahead and put his gear back on. He headed back over immediately after that.

Once inside, Målingen looked like she’d freshened up a bit as well. While she’d been pregnant with Callisto, she’d taken care of herself to an almost scientific perfection. However, the late nights researching had quickly become a habit again once Lockne and her partner became the primary people taking care of the baby. Even after fixing her hair and probably taking a shower, Sam could guess from the circles under her eyes that she’d been up for the last twenty-four hours.

As she finished putting a device together, Sam muttered, “So that’s what I was carrying.”

“Oh no. That was only this part here. The rest I already had.”

“Well what the hell else did you have me drag here?”

Sam sat down as Målingen started explaining it all. He’d never caught up with her and Lockne. Of course not. But this pattern of conversation had never really left them. It was enjoyable watching how excited Målingen still got, and it meant Sam didn’t have to say a word. But considering the long journey, he was still exhausted. The words she was saying started to blend together and before Sam knew it, his head had slumped over on the desk he’d sat at.

It was difficult to say how much time passed. It wasn’t enough for him to slip into a dream, but it was long enough that he felt groggy as he suddenly launched upward. Whatever noise had woken him, he couldn’t find it. However, Målingen had long since finished what she’d been constructing. She’d moved to a different part of the lab. She leaned over the table with Fragile propped up next to her. They stopped in their conversation as Sam stretched.

“Should’ve gotten me up,” grumbled Sam.

“Do not worry. I remember your plans with Cliff. I wouldn’t have let you miss that,” Fragile said with a small smile.

“And Higgs?”

“Was still working last I checked. I said I would get you and then him.”

Sam nodded. He headed over to them and added, “You’re still welcomed to join us.”

“I promised Målingen some time. Otherwise I would.”

“See. Someone appreciates me.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I would’ve invited you too, but I know you won’t leave the lab for that long.”

“I can leave if I want!”

“Didn’t say you couldn’t,” smirked Sam.

“Do not worry,” Fragile said. “I’ll drag her out of here whether she likes it or not.”

Målingen tried to argue. “I have work—”

“That can wait until tomorrow.”

“Oh, so you take a break for her and not me?” asked Sam. “I see how it is.”

“That is not what is going on here!”

“It’s exactly what’s going on. But it’s ok. You’re sweet together.”

Målingen blushed which had Fragile grinning too. “You would think that reaction would have disappeared by now.”

“You could be married. She’d probably still blush.”

One glance at Målingen showed that she’d forcibly shoved her face back into her work. Sam and Fragile laughed. To be fair, it had always been like that since the beginning. Målingen never really had gotten over that little crush. Though it had been even more amusing as Higgs had been one of the last people to pick up on Målingen acting on it. Lockne had of course been the first.

“I’ll let you get to it,” Sam gruffly said.

“Do you wish to stay in Middle Knot? Our people there could use some backup, but I could move you elsewhere,” Fragile said.

“Hmm, we’ll see what Higgs wants to do. Haven’t worked with him for a while.”

“Alright. Are you ready to go?”

Sam nodded.

“I’ll go get Higgs after. And I will stop by for a moment to say hi to Cliff at least.”

“Ok. See ya Målingen.”

“I expect more of a conversation out of you next time. And you better not fall asleep on me again.”

“I make no promises.”

Målingen rolled her eyes. “Well I better see you soon at least. And Higgs! It’s been too long.”

“I’ll remind him,” Fragile promised. “Ready?”

Sam nodded again and she finally moved to him. She took his shoulders and Sam automatically pressed their heads together. The interaction was a familiar one now that was no longer uncomfortable in the slightest. Fragile didn’t even need to say it. His mind moved automatically and then—

He was home again.

He visited his dad often, but he rarely stayed long. There was too much work to be done. Too many deliveries. But coming back always brought a small smile to Sam’s face. The good memories. The bad memories. Every birthday and every long, caring hug—

Sam’s eyes fell on the floor.

A line of muddy footprints started at the closed, front door at Sam’s back before continuing into the home.

“Dad?”

There was no response. Sam quickly followed the trail straight to his dad’s bedroom. The door was opened and Sam found his dad inside. Cliff hadn’t bothered to take his suit off. He’d simply collapsed in the bed, still covered in dried mud, tar, and blood. And in his arms? A sleeping BB still in its pod.

Sam couldn’t think of anything to say. He just stood and stared.

A few seconds later, he heard the sound of Higgs arriving in the living room. Fragile might have been with him but Sam only heard Higgs’ worried shout. “Cliff?”

Sam still hadn’t moved. He felt when Higgs was at his backside, forcing his head over his. He could also hear there was another person, so Fragile must have decided to join them for at least a second. Higgs muttered, “What the fuck?”

“No idea,” murmured Sam. “But…let’s let him sleep.”

Sam finally started to move back when he could feel the others stepping away. Sam gently closed the door and was honestly surprised that didn’t wake his dad. He’d always been a light sleeper, but for now he was out cold. Whatever he’d gone though must have been extremely harrowing on his body. And the BB…

The three of them gathered in the living room. Their confused faces were mirrored on each other’s before Fragile finally said, “The tar means he most likely died. So something violent occurred. I’ll find out.”

Higgs reached out. “Hang on! We could-damn it Fragile!” Higgs sat down in a huff. Since Fragile was already off looking for answers, all Sam could do was sit next to Higgs. They stayed there silently for a moment. Higgs rubbed his eyes in frustration before resting his head against his hand. He looked up at Sam and murmured, “Well hi again.”

Sam snorted. “Not quite the reunion we were planning.”

“Is it ever?”

“We’ve had a few normal ones.”

Higgs managed to laugh at that. He finally leaned forward. One hand gently came up behind Sam’s head. He didn’t really pull him near, even though he made the motion. They really met halfway. The kiss was chaste. Then they were pressing their foreheads together. They stayed in that position longer. Sam could feel Higgs breathing him in, the way he shifted to press their cheeks together and just stay near.

“I missed you.”

“Sorry it took so long.”

“It’s ok. Just missed you,” sighed Higgs as he finally moved back. “How’s Målingen?”

“Working just as hard as always. Didn’t talk to her too much.”

“Just walking around South Knot huh?”

“That and a trip to the wind farm.”

“You mean ‘the’ wind farm?”

Sam nodded. They both made a face at the thought. Higgs had also traveled to the location, sometimes even with Sam.

“I don’t care how useful it is. The upkeep on that place is not worth it. I’d rather trek on foot across this whole damn country again than go back there. If Fragile asks again, just tell her no.”

“She needed help.”

“She can do it herself then. The wind farm is not worth it.”

“She wouldn’t have been able to carry what was needed. Besides, we both know how she can be. If anything, we should take advantage of the times she asks for help.”

“I know I know. I’m just saying that place is a shit show. And to be honest I’d rather no one go back up there. Fragile included. Everyone has to risk enough as is. I don’t see any reason we should be going through that hell hole.”

“Fair enough.” Sam let out a tired sigh. He looked around, partially just to see if there were any more clues. However, all he got was the muddy footprints. They waited a few seconds longer and—

“Ok, whether or not Fragile found out what happened, clearly it’s taking her a while to settle things. Dinner was planned and I’m fucking hungry so I’m going to make something.”

Sam rolled his eyes but got up with Higgs. Food did sound good and considering he had no idea what was going on, at least making something would keep his hands and mind busy. Since they had such few pieces of information, there wasn’t any point in theorizing now.

Making food was an incredibly uncommon thing in the world now. Most people didn’t have the equipment or room for it. Processing it through machines was just easier and faster, and usually made it easier to transport too. It logically made sense, but Sam was thankful his dad had always made it a point to cook for him. Making food held so many important memories for him. The earliest ones contained that artist that had given them shelter for a few years when his dad had first run from Bridges. The clearer memories started a few years later though. Him and his dad alone in the kitchen. Sometimes he would be carried on his dad’s shoulders. Other times he’d sat at the kitchen table, expectant and waiting. Then he’d started helping too.

Other people filtered in and out of those memories. Cooking with Målingen and Lockne, their parents. Then Higgs from then to now. It was peaceful. Even with Higgs talking about his own recent deliveries and what he’d been up to in the past few weeks rather than just taking in the silence. It was different from how Sam would cook with his dad, but that was also why he liked it. As nice as pure silence and simple motions were, hearing Higgs’ voice also brought an equally soft smile to Sam’s face.

Eventually Higgs nudged him. “Come on. Here I am talking the day away. What about you?”

Sam shrugged.

“Oh come on. There had to have been something worthy of a story. A weird conversation with a prepper. Maybe you passed some porters. Come on. What?”

Sam thought about it for a second. He finally paused in the cooking process and murmured, “I saw a deer.”

“That’s your big story? Come on Sam. Give me something—”

“Are you going to let me finish or not?”

“Ok, ok. Continue with the deer story.”

“Thank you. It was…a doe I think. She froze-we both froze actually-when we spotted each other. It’s been so long since I’d seen any substantial wildlife, but there she was. It just…it reminded me of the old films we would watch. The photos and stories of life just being everywhere.

“We always think about the countries that are gone. We think about how few people there are because of the cities that disappeared at the beginning of the Death Stranding. But what about the wildlife? No one ever talks about how they’ve struggled. How they’ve fought to survive despite how they seem to be disconnected from the Death Stranding. An animal’s death doesn’t cause a voidout, and yet they still suffer from them.

“I think what made it so notable was that it should have been normal. It would have been called normal. But in this world? It was such an abnormal moment. She then ran. Right before I noticed a squall of timefall. I don’t if she made it. I like to think that she did.”

Sam finally finished the short story. He glanced over just in time to see Higgs release a long, drawn out sigh.

“Sam?”

“Hmm?”

“I said a story. Not a philosophical paradigm.”

Before Sam could say anything though, Higgs leaned forward and gave Sam a quick peck.

“But that’s why I like you. Now that I’m really thinking about it, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a live deer.”

Sam expressed his agreement as he turned back to the food.

“I’ve seen birds. Watched a few get caught in some timefall once, but not much else,” Higgs hummed to himself. He mumbled a few other things before starting up his rambling train of thought again. It made Sam smile. He appreciated the differences as much as the similarities too.

They were done and beginning to eat when Fragile suddenly showed up again.

“I found what happened.”

Higgs jumped.

“You’d think you’d get used to that,” mumbled Sam.

“How can I get used to something that I can’t plan for—what exactly happened?” Higgs’ tone immediately changed as he finally caught sight of Fragile’s face. Sam paused too.

“Can I sit?”

Higgs started to say, “You know you don’t—”

But Fragile had already sat down. She stole Higgs’ plate and started to eat. It actually wasn’t the first time she’d done that. Normally Higgs would have pestered her about it and Sam would have sat back and watched the bickering with a soft chuckle. Instead, Higgs asked, “That bad?”

“Could be worse. Much worse honestly,” sighed Fragile. “Just tiring.”

“Jumping?” asked Sam. “Or…”

“Yes and yes. Two Bridges employees died and one of ours.”

“Who?”

“Tania.”

“Shit,” growled Higgs. “Where?”

“Not far. They died near the tar lake. It was because of a suicide.” From there, Fragile explained what she could. Some details only Cliff would know, but from what others had said and the evidence she’d found, the events were pretty clear.

From the way she was talking though, Sam picked up that something else must have happened. Sure, talking to Tania’s acquaintances, or the people of anyone that died under them was hard, but she was tired in a different way. Fragile could be incredibly calm and calculating. The only reason Sam didn’t call her the smartest person he knew was because he also knew the twins, and she would agree with that. But despite it all, she did get angry.

Higgs was asking her some specific questions which Fragile was answering to the best of her abilities in between bites of food. Sam was carefully watching her though. She was good at hiding it. But…

While they were still talking, Sam got up. He collected some ice before wrapping it up in a cloth. He walked back over and immediately knelt by her. As he pressed the cloth to her side, Higgs immediately caught on.

“And you didn’t ask me to join you.”

“Not the point,” mumbled Sam as Fragile flinched from the cool contact. However, after a second, she eased back into it with a pained sigh.

“No, it’s exactly the point. You should have dragged me with you! I would have had your back and then you probably wouldn’t have gotten hurt,” sighed Higgs. “Did you kill anyone?”

“Managed to avoid it.” Fragile finally took the ice and held it to her side. “But the area will be a little safer for a while.”

“Did they die by the terrorists?” asked Higgs.

“No bodies were found. I went to the tar lake. It is larger now.”

“So then they all got caught in a voidout,” Higgs said.

“But the BB survived,” Sam mused.

Higgs said, “It must have come from one of the Bridges employees. Doesn’t explain how the kid survived though.”

“Could it not be a repatriate in some shape?” asked Fragile.

“Maybe.” He looked to Sam who just shrugged.

This was all so incredibly strange. Considering the majority of everything was them guessing, Sam decided to focus on the more concrete again. He asked Fragile, “Are you just bruised, or did you break anything?”

“Not sure.”

Higgs moved to her other side as Sam moved back a bit. “Let me see.” She removed the ice pack and he carefully moved his hands up and around her side. Despite how she tried, she took in a deeply pained breath. “Definitely broken. Maybe two of them on this side.”

“You need pain killers,” murmured Sam. “I’ll go to the distribution center.”

“I will not take anything. It affects my performance. You know this.”

“I do, but clearly you forgot or else you wouldn’t have risked this stupid stunt,” Sam said. “You need something. At least for a day or two.”

“This could have been avoided if you’d just let me in on this,” Higgs added.

“Again, not the point,” Sam said with a tired groan. “I’ll be right back.”

He immediately went out and hurried to the center. At the same time, Higgs had pressed the ice pack to Fragile’s side again. He helped to keep her steady so that way she could take a few deep breaths. Though still painful, it didn’t seem like a lung was broken. She finished, but even still Higgs didn’t let go. Fragile didn’t force him to and didn’t take the ice pack back for herself. They sat like that until Sam returned. He quickly got a pill out of the small container and a glass of water for her.

“You already talk to Målingen?” asked Sam as he handed it over.

She nodded. “Had to leave quickly before she yelled at me for getting hurt.”

“For good reason,” grumbled Sam.

“Maybe so, but our worker deserved better than what the terrorists gave her. I had to let them feel that a little.”

She really hadn’t needed to do that, but Sam was done arguing for now. He could never really win if Fragile was like this. Or even Higgs for that matter. They both got a little hotheaded at times, even if Fragile was better at hiding her own nature.

Before anyone could say anything else, they heard a door open. They all froze. Cliff was awake. Was he going to come up front? They didn’t say anything, and after a short time, it sounded like he’d gone to the restroom. He was probably taking the much needed shower. The door closed behind him. It was probably best to let him wake up properly and get cleaned before they berated him with questions. However, Higgs was up immediately.

“If he’s in the shower, then the BB is probably…”

“Higgs, we should wait for dad—”

“I’m going to go look at the kid.”

“Higgs,” groaned Sam. However, he had to admit he was curious too. Fragile seemed to agree as they both followed Higgs back into the room. Flakes of tar and mud and blood had been left on the sheets, but it seemed it had all dried on Cliff’s person before he’d passed out. As for the BB, the kid had been moved from the bed to the side table where it was sat up straight. The kid was awake and looking at Higgs as he looked back.

Sam had seen a few more BBs in the past. However, besides that first one, he’d never really had a chance to look at one closely. The design seemed to have changed some though the basic concept was the same.

“Hmm, BB-28. I have no fucking clue how the numbering works.”

“We could find out who exactly carried this BB. Not that it would probably give us more information,” Fragile replied.

“I doubt Cliff would want us to take the kid back to the distribution center either,” murmured Higgs.

“What? He’s going to keep it?” asked Fragile. “That will not work out. People will learn which means Bridges will learn. They will want the BB back.”

“Doesn’t mean Cliff is any more likely to do it.”

Sam nodded in agreement.

The BB started to make some upset sounding noises so Higgs gently rocked it the pod back and forth. “Hey it’s ok. You want to come with us rather than just stay in a dark room? Yeah, I bet you do. Come on.”

The three of them went back to the living room. Fragile focused on her own injuries while Higgs continued to gently rock the pod until the BB seemed satisfied.

“So now what?” asked Higgs.

“Wait to see what dad says,” Sam replied.

“Probably the only option,” Fragile agreed. “I’ve informed our people what they needed to know about the incident. I should probably get back to Målingen before she worries more.”

“Can you get back to South Knot alright?” asked Higgs. “You did just take the medication.”

“It’s only been a few minutes. I’ll go and rest there. I’ll come back tomorrow if I need more.”

“Will you?” asked Sam.

“I promise. Besides, best to learn what you find out from Cliff, right?”

Having another reason besides just looking after herself meant she was more likely to come back. Sam relented. “Alright. She you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” she agreed. She slowly got up and set the ice down. She pulled out her device and disappeared as Sam went to dispose of the ice. Higgs kept watch over the BB for a bit longer until it sounded like Cliff had finally come out of the quick shower. About a minute more and he headed into the kitchen. He was dressed in fresh clothes with his hair still wet from the shower.

Sam let out a relieved sigh. Higgs set the BB down and immediately hugged Cliff. “You seriously had us worried.”

Sam nodded in agreement. “Fragile went looking for what happened.”

“What did she find?”

Higgs explained Fragile’s side of things before they both asked what Cliff had seen. He first just filled in some gaps of Fragile’s information as he sat down. Then he explained more.

“Why now?” Sam immediately asked.

“Was she the same age as before?” asked Higgs.

“Did she say anything?” asked Sam.

Cliff had to wearily hold up his hand to calm his boys. “Just…give me a second. I’ll explain all I can. She was clearer than she had been before. But she still…there was still a great deal left unknown.”

Sam and Higgs listened to the rest, though it was clear Higgs was having to force himself to save the questions for the end. Immediately afterwards, Higgs threw his hands up in the air. “I bet that was a fucking red herring too! She probably won’t give you any shit. Both on what this secret project is or what she’s trying to prevent.”

“Maybe so,” sighed Cliff. “But all I can do is wait.”

“Will you try to find her again?” asked Sam.

“Perhaps in a few days. But I suspect she will only appear again when she is ready. Not based on what I wish to know,” sighed Cliff.

It was a frustrating situation to be in. Especially since she hadn’t explained her warning about Sam not being able to travel to the Beach. Did that warning still apply? Why had she said it at all? There were just more questions now and it seemed that time hadn’t made Amelie’s lips any looser.

“And the BB?” asked Higgs. “Does anyone know it survived the blast?”

“I’m sure someone saw her when I came back. But I went straight home.”

“Bridges won’t let you keep the kid dad,” Sam murmured. It hurt to say that. He already understood the want to keep the kid safe. They would just use the kid up and then dispose of the BB. Like they did with all of them.

“I can’t.”

“Dad,” whispered Sam.

“Even if you don’t want to,” Higgs quickly said, “I know there’s something at the distribution centers and in most of the private rooms that the BBs need. If you don’t at least take the kid back to the distribution center, the kid could die.”

“And what life is worth living as a tool for Bridges?”

“I didn’t say it would be easy,” murmured Higgs. “But those are just the options you have.”

“I know,” sighed Cliff. “I know. I just…”

He turned silent for a moment. He put his head in his hands before Sam gently rubbed his shoulder. “You wanted us here for dinner. Well we already made something. We can at least have a nice meal before we try to understand what’s going on.”

Higgs nodded. “At least one evening together.” He turned to the BB. “Even you can join us little guy. I bet this will be your first dinner with anyone. Huh?”

“She’s a girl actually,” Cliff murmured.

“My sincere apologies,” Higgs said to the BB. She turned in her pod, several bubbles popping out of her mouth that looked suspiciously like hearts. It was incredibly sweet. It made Higgs and Sam want to smile, but it was also hard to do that knowing whatever solution they had for the BB, it likely wouldn’t be good.

Still, they all tried their best to have a good family meal plus one. They would try to figure out what they would do tomorrow, possibly with Fragile’s help. With that final thought, they eased into their chairs and Sam passed a plate over to his dad.


	23. A Knot with a BB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first, really quick, don't expect another chapter really soon. I just got inspired out of nowhere and popped this out haha. So the next chapter will be closer to a week if not a little longer because of tests and school work.
> 
> Second, I've finally decided to stop fiddling with the tags. Yes, I could include every single character that has a speaking role and every single mentioned relationship, but I don't want to be one of those people who's tags fill up a whole screen haha. So the tags are finally set!
> 
> And lastly, you may noticed instead of 30 chapters, it's going to be 31 now. This last part is still going to be ten chapters, but in order to do a satisfying conclusion, I felt an epilogue would do that better rather than wrapping everything up in the final chapter of this last part. So again, 30 instead of 31 now.
> 
> With all that being said, thank you again for the kudos and comments. It means the world to me and this story so thank you again! I hope you enjoy <3

The next day, Fragile returned. Sam immediately tried to get her to take some more painkillers, but she managed to hold him off for the moment. Instead, she pestered Cliff for his side of the story. Seeing as she wouldn’t yield, Cliff, Sam, and Higgs could only give in. They quickly explained Amelie’s reappearance and what few details she didn’t already know.

“So does her threat about the Beach still stand?” asked Fragile.

Higgs shrugged. “No fucking clue.”

“And the twins? I know there was no reason to explain it to them then, but if something is going on in Bridges…”

“That’s a good point,” murmured Sam.

“What? Like they’re going to spy on Bridges or something for us?” asked Higgs. “That’s too dangerous.”

Fragile held up her hand. “I do not think any of us were quite thinking that. But if there is some type of important project occurring, the twins could be involved. Even if they are not, or at least not aware, whatever threat this Amelie knows could prove dangerous. I think they deserve to know, but it is not my decision.”

She looked at them expectantly. It didn’t take long before Cliff mulled it over in his head. They were family, practically like daughters to him and he’d already been named the grandfather of Callisto. So… “Something has changed,” Cliff softly admitted.

“Wait, did Amelie say something else?” asked Higgs.

“Not exactly. It’s more a feeling than anything. But whatever she’s been working towards, her secrets, the purpose of all of this, things all culminating to a head. Though I may have to wait, I know there will be an explanation in our next visit. More so than there has been before.”

“Then we tell the twins,” Sam agreed.

“And we all keep our ears to the ground for whatever the hell Bridges is up to,” Higgs said. The others nodded in agreement.

“In that case, the only thing left is…” Fragile’s eyes turned to the BB. Cliff had kept her close that morning. She now sat on the table. She’d been entertaining herself with a few flips in her pod, but sensed when all the eyes landed on her. She pressed her face towards them and blew a few bubbles. Sam and Higgs looked at Cliff.

“I still don’t know,” he sighed.

“Well it is something you will have to know soon,” Fragile replied.

“I understand. But It is a decision I will make all my own. She’s in my care so the choice will be mine. I do get your concern Fragile, but I will make sure Fragile Express isn’t associated with whatever follows. Your current relations with Bridges won’t be damaged by my actions.”

“That sounds like you might do something stupid,” Higgs said. “Which I should know. That sounds like something I would say, and I do a lot of stupid.”

“He’s finally self-aware,” sighed Fragile.

Higgs flicked her off but refrained from shoving her like he normally would have. Her broken ribs still needed to be taken into account. Sam simply whispered, “You can’t save everyone.”

“I know. But if there’s anything I can do for that little girl now, I will.”

They all nodded in understanding. Fragile asked, “Then it is time to tell the twins?”

“I think so,” agreed Higgs.

“You both should explain it. You understand all of this better than me.”

“Marginally,” argued Sam.

“But we can still do it,” Higgs said. He turned to Cliff and added, “I don’t know if we’ll come straight back. It depends on what looks best for everyone.”

“Just keep us updated. Please dad,” Sam said.

“I’ll send a message through Fragile if necessary.”

“Good,” Fragile sighed. “Then Sam, I’ll send you to Lockne in Mountain Knot. Higgs, to Målingen.”

“Should we wait until the end of the day at least?” asked Higgs. “You’re still hurting.”

“You really are too soft.”

“Well fuck me for being nice,” Higgs grumbled. “I’m just saying.”

“I’ll be fine,” she pressed. “But if you wish to stay a little longer, we can. So now? Or wait?”

“I guess we can go now. Best to get this out of the way. Right?”

Sam nodded in agreement. Then he and Higgs turned back to Cliff and hugged him tight. Cliff curled his fingers in their hair and released a shuddering breath. “Be safe,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Higgs replied.

Sam made a noise of agreement. The three stayed there a little longer. When Higgs moved back, he turned to Fragile and held out his arms. “If you’re feeling left out…”

“Like I would want a hug from you.”

“Ouch. You wound me Fragile. And to think of all we’ve been through.”

“Just get over here so I can jump you to Målingen.”

“Fine, fine. Are you going to follow me?”

“I think I’ll follow Sam right now. It has been a while since I’ve seen Callisto.”

Cliff smiled at that. “I knew you would take a shine to her eventually.”

“Babies still aren’t my thing,” she quickly said.

“There’s always an exception to the rule,” smirked Higgs. His lips turned a little softer though as he said goodbye to Cliff again. “And good luck.” He turned to the BB. “You too little lady.”

She gurgled happily at that. Sam also put a comforting hand on her pod. She seemed to appreciate it. Then he stepped back to watch Fragile jump Higgs. Sam went next and then Fragile disappeared too, leaving Cliff and the BB alone.

He let out a tired sigh. “So sweetheart, just you and me huh?”

She made several noises.

“We’ll figure out something to do. Let me clean up first.”

The night before Sam and Higgs had cleaned up a bit, but Cliff had eventually waved them to just go to bed. Cleaning up himself would give him something to do anyways. It kept him active and busy and he didn’t mind.

Cliff got out what he needed, making sure to take the BB with him if he left the room for a long amount of time so she was rarely alone. When he was cleaning up some of the scuff marks he’d made on the ground, he heard her worried noises though. His head came back up.

“I’m right here. It’s ok.” He went back down to finish the spot he was on, but she started to cry again. He slowly pushed against his knees until he was up high enough to pull her off the counter. “I’m sorry. You’re probably not used to being alone for long, are you?” Cliff didn’t know what her relationship with her porter had been like. She might miss him on some very basic level for all Cliff knew. At the very least, constantly being near an adult figure only to suddenly not have anyone at her side had to be strange.

From Sam’s early days, Cliff assumed they had told him some truths. Aspects like how memories could already be formed at the early age had made sense. Considering Sam’s very murky memory being triggered from the first BB he’d interacted with, Cliff could believe it too. This BB might not have been able to fully form a distinct memory of things, but he guessed she recognized the similarities in Cliff and her former porter.

He gently set her on the ground. “Better?”

It almost looked like she nodded. Even if she hadn’t consciously made the motion, she seemed pleased which made Cliff smile. He went back to cleaning. From then on, he tried to keep their separation to the bare minimum. He finished up in the main rooms before going to Sam and Higgs’ room. He cleaned up their sheets and put everything away so that way it would be ready the next time they stopped overnight.

When It was all done, Cliff picked up an old book from his boys’ room. He put the BB off to the side so he could change into some sleep wear. Then he went to pick her up again and got into bed.

“It’s not the first book I ever read Sam, but it is one of the older ones,” Cliff told the BB. “He liked to hear about space the most. Learning about the moon.” He suddenly chuckled to himself. “I suppose in that case it’s fitting his first real friends were named after parts of the moon.”

He opened up the book. He propped the BB against him so she could see the book if she wished but she could also look up and see him.

“If this doesn’t hold your interest, I’ll try to find something else. Yeah? Higgs still keeps his collection on history and myths here. One of them might hold your interest if this doesn’t.”

She seemed to gurgle in agreement so Cliff started to read. The moment felt like it was running both parallel and perpendicular to when he’d read Sam his first stories. Like with his son, he read carefully and made sure to hold the pictures close up to the pod. He watched her tells like he had with Sam, doing his best to figure out what were positive and negative reactions. But unlike his time with Sam, he was much older now. He could feel himself growing weary as he read and read until he passed out in bed, one arm still over the BB.

In the morning, Cliff got up and started his day.

It honestly wasn’t much different than what normal day now was. The only difference was that he had a BB at his side. If he chose to read, he read out loud to her. If he was doing simple exercise, he put a screen on to keep her entertained, or added music for her when he normally wouldn’t have. At least for a little while, Cliff pushed the issue of what to do with her away. He just tried to make their time together as enjoyable as possible. From the books Sam and Higgs had, he figured out which ones she liked best, along with what music or films she preferred to experience.

Other than everyday issues, he eventually got updated on what Sam and Higgs had told the twins. They’d been understandably thrown for a bit. Målingen, more so than Lockne, had felt a little hurt at not having learned about Amelie sooner. Both made sure they were promised to be kept in the loop though. If Cliff and Sam were in danger in anyways, especially Sam considering Amelie’s warning, they wanted to know.

During the explanations, neither Higgs nor Sam directly asked the twins if they were working on a big project for Bridges. They didn’t want to accidently put a target on their backs after all, and there was no telling who could have been listening in on their conversations. Hopefully, if the twins did know something or discovered something that could be useful, they would share it. For now though, everyone was still very much in the dark.

Besides the twins being kept in the loop, Cliff made sure he was updated on where his boys were moving. It was simply to put him a little at ease. He also made sure to ask Fragile on her healing when she stopped by with all the information too. Considering how rarely she properly looked after herself, she was lucky so many others did. Thankfully she was healing up well and Sam’s and Målingen’s own pestering had kept her from getting into any more scrapes.

All of that occurred within the week. By the end of it, Cliff hadn’t made a decision on the BB yet. However, he had begun to notice a change. It seemed the decision would be made for him instead.

Over each day, he’d slowly noticed the increased lethargy to the BB. Her color had shifted a little and she’d slowly become quicker to grow upset. Whatever process there was to keep BBs going, she needed to be hooked up again. That meant Cliff needed to go to the distribution center. That meant she could be taken away from him. And if they tried to do that…

God, he was too old for this. But he couldn’t bring himself to just hand her over without a fight. It went against every bone in his body, no matter how tired they were.

But if he simply kept her, she would wither away. The idea of waking up and seeing her floating in that pod, still and unmoving, was the worst visual Cliff could imagine. Because of that, after several more days of waiting, he finally risked it. People knew him. They looked in his direction and some seemed to remember the BB he had come back to the city with. All seemed surprised he still had it though. No one spoke with him until he was inside and calling the elevator.

“I see the BB needs to re-synced with its still-mother,” a Bridges employee hesitantly said.

Cliff hadn’t directly spoken with this man, but he knew he had quite a reputation for himself in Middle Knot. It was why Tania had asked him to help with the corpse. It was why this Bridges employee was being so careful with his words.

“I’ll do it,” Cliff simply replied.

“Um…well Bridges is sure to be glad to have their property back—”

“I’m sure they are. But I’ll take care of it,” repeated Cliff. No need to cause a fight now. He needed to get the BB help first. After that…well, he would have to wait and see.

“Y-yes. Of course. I’m sure that would be-that’s fine,” the man finally fell on. “Just um…we’ll have a room waiting for you. Just hook her up and…yes.”

“Thank you,” Cliff coolly said as he stepped onto the circular platform. The man just managed a scared noise and quickly stepped back. To be fair, if the man had put his all into it, he would have had a fair chance at overpowering Cliff at his age. But Cliff would take advantage of his own reputation all the same.

He went down and headed straight to a private room. He’d seen the device that the Bridges employee had referenced. He’d known it was related to the BBs but not how. Cliff wished he didn’t have to use such a thing, but considering he had no sound idea on how to take her out of the pod, this was the best choice. Sam had been forced out, and it was still a miracle that he’d survived at all. If Cliff could avoid it, he wouldn’t put this BB through that same danger until it was the final option.

Thankfully, it was relatively easy to place the BB in. Everything hooked up correctly. However, he only stepped back once he was sure she was secured. Symbols and numbers popped up that Cliff didn’t fully understand as she finally seemed to calm. There was a larger number that went back and forth, though gradually started to increase towards one hundred. Was that perhaps the symbol for the synchronization?

Cliff took another step back. He already knew he couldn’t leave. If he did, there was no telling where they would take her. He would have to stay awake and aware until this process was—

“So that is where BB-28 went.”

Cliff spun around. His hearing really must have gone with age if he hadn’t heard the large man that was now in front of him enter the room. The man took a step forward.

“We had wondered if it had died in the voidout. But when the madame president got word that a repatriate had been involved, she had faith it had survived.”

Hang on, had Amelie told Bridget of the voidout? Or had Bridget really just come to that conclusion with the information given to her? Why would Amelie tell her? Unless…

“Still, it’s sad to say that re-synchronization is all for naught. This BB is damaged.”

The man started to walk forward. Cliff immediately stiffened and stood his ground. Before he could argue or try to protect the BB though, the man walked straight through him. Cliff floundered for a moment. He managed to turn back around. He watched as the man walked into and through the equipment, viewing the BB from the back before walking out on the other side.

“You’re a hologram,” Cliff slowly said. He knew they were possible, but for obvious reasons, he hadn’t interacted with them much. The few times he’d done it were the more basic ones that sometimes said hello when delivering to a distribution center or shelter. Clearly they’d improved in quality since then.

“Oh yes. It would take too long to come all the way to Middle Knot just for one BB. I’m in Capital Knot at the moment. Which is why the quality isn’t at its best. The madame president made sure we used our best resources to even make this possible.” At that, the man’s image flickered badly. Now that Cliff knew, he could also tell the hands and feet flickered and didn’t fully render correctly. “We’re hopefully working on better ways to connect the cities so this won’t be an issue in the future. Deadman, at your service Clifford Unger.”

Ignoring the weirdness of the name, hearing his own really caught his attention. “I haven’t used my full name for some time.”

“Oh of course. You’re just living under Cliff Porter for now. It’s a simple name for sure, but I must admit I’m partial to the other one.”

Cliff let out a tired sigh. He could only think of one person who would give out that name. “Did Bridget tell you?”

“She was quite specific in what must happen in this meeting of ours. The president needs your help Cliff. Not yet, but she does believe she will need you soon.”

So both Amelie and Bridget wanted him now? What the hell for? There had been a sense of desperation and sincerity with Amelie. But even if his theory on what Amelie and Bridget were was true, agreeing to help Bridget left a worse feeling in his stomach.

“Considering the damage to the BB, Bridges also has an order request for you now.”

“I’m retired now,” Cliff argued.

“Well, we would prefer if you did it. But if not, we can get another porter to dispose of the package.”

Cliff immediately stepped in Deadman’s line of sight. He got close enough to his face that part of his body actually went through Deadman’s large stomach. “I’m not disposing of her.”

“It would not make a very good BB anymore. And it is past the halfway point of its life cycle. We might as well dispose of it before—”

“I will not do that, and if you try and get anyone else to do it, I will use every inch of force possible to stop it.”

Deadman let out a tired sigh and walked right through him again. Cliff floundered again, quickly spinning around and trying to keep the man in his line of sight. “The president did say you would say something like this. Let it be known I think it is a bad idea. A BB with no purpose shouldn’t exist. But they are orders from the president.”

“What orders?”

“The president believed you would not see reason. So instead of that, you will be allowed to carry the BB with the promise that you will answer her when she calls for you.”

“You mean help her in whatever she needs of me.”

“Yes. And I suppose it could prove an interesting experiment to see the BBs reactions. Though I should say I do not approve of this,” sighed Deadman with a quick shake of his head. “Do you accept the request by the president?”

Cliff wasn’t sure honestly. What were Amelie and Bridget planning? However, if a promise in the moment saved this BB, he would make it. “I do.”

“Good, good. In that case, you should know that a BB should re-synchronize with its still-mother every few weeks. Sooner if it has been through a stressful event. Now to explain a still-mother.”

“I understand the process,” whispered Cliff. There was no need to revisit those old memories.

“Of course. How could I forget. The president explained you had past experiences with this. I suppose I will leave it to you then. If you should ever need my help, simply send a message. It may only be through the written word considering the poor connection, but we will see. It was good to meet you Clifford Unger. Until next time.”

With that, the hologram fell apart until there was nothing left. Cliff turned back to the BB and went to check on her. She’d fallen asleep during their discussion. She shifted in her sleep, and Cliff gently rocked her pod. He didn’t understand what kind of deal he’d just agreed to. He would go back on his word if he didn’t like what Bridget needed his help for. He’d only agreed to momentarily keep the BB safe. She had to have expected that, right?

Which meant whatever the deal was, Bridget could think Cliff would go along with it without any arguments. That could be because of two reasons. Either the help would be minimal so it wouldn’t matter to Cliff, or she was holding something back that she would only trade once Cliff performed the help she needed. The second option was much more likely. Cliff didn’t like being played, and he hated not knowing what pieces were out on the board.

But it could be something else.

It could be that Bridget honestly didn’t know if Cliff would help her. But she was desperate. It was the last adjective he ever would have thought to apply to the woman. In his few meetings with her, what he knew of her, she’d always seemed too cold and calculating. She was like the spider at the center of a web and she knew where every slight pull of a string came from.

A desperate Bridget Strand didn’t bode well for anyone.

If it were possible, Cliff would go back to Capital Knot now. Sam was grown and he was an old man. There wasn’t much he had left to lose. And he could easily put the BB in the care of someone else. The BB would stay safe. But the journey would be a long one and considering Cliff didn’t know if he would get anything out of it, there was little reason to go now. Theoretically, Fragile could jump him to the east coast. However, considering how much it had changed over the years, it was hard to say where Cliff would land. An old memory could lead him straight into terrorists or a crater. The best option would be to jump to Lake Knot which he’d been to much more recently, and then to take the ship over. That, plus the traversal time on foot between Port Knot and Capital Knot, would still take weeks.

Cliff just didn’t know. All he could do for now was watch over the BB and still wait and see. Though…

He mulled the idea over in his head. He had told the boys he would likely search for Amelie on his own. He might as well try now rather than later. With another tired sigh, he sat on the provided bed and waited until the BB appeared stable. He took her still sleeping form out and attached her back to his chest.

As he walked out, he half expected several Bridges employees to be waiting. Maybe Deadman and Bridget’s deal had all been a lie. They would try to forcibly take the BB from him and he would have to make a decision—

But no one was there. Cliff walked through the halls and up to the circular lift. He spotted the Bridges employee he had first spoken to, but the man didn’t stop him. He walked out of the distribution center without a problem.

He made it home and by the time he was in the door, the BB had woken up again. Cliff spent some time with her. He’d found out she liked to watch him cook. Because of that, he set her on the counter so she could easily see everything. He then read her a story but before actually going to bed, he went and found the red cloth from Amelie’s dress.

The chances of it working were low. He’d never found her of his own volition. Still, he had to try as he fell asleep with the pod curled up under his arms.

His mind went to Amelie. He conjured up the Beach. Pulled himself towards it. He just had to find her. He had to try and understand what her and Bridget were—

“Amelie.” He couldn’t help how surprised he felt. Immediately, he wondered if the timing had just coincided. She’d decided to speak with him at the same time that he had tried to find her. But no, she seemed just as surprised, though the reaction only lasted a moment.

“We’re drawing each other closer. You finally found me,” she said as way of hello.

Cliff walked closer. His eyes momentarily looked at the Beach. There seemed to be a storm on the horizon. It was difficult to say when it would arrive. “But why would we draw each other closer? Because of our past? Because of our connection through Sam?” He was going to get answers this time, at least as much as he could.

“In some aspects, yes. But it’s more than us pulling together. It’s the possibilities of what is happening now. It’s my act to try and fix my sins, and it has drawn us here now, even if your actions rectified the sins of the past here.”

The words were a lot to take in. Cliff was trying to understand it, but there were still so many pieces missing. “What sins, Amelie?”

She stayed silent for a second. Then she changed the subject. “If we don’t come together now. If we don’t connect—”

The word caught Cliff’s attention. Deadman’s words…

“If we can become one again, share information, grow together and not farther apart, we can beat this.”

“Extinction?” asked Cliff. Her words paralleled that first conversation they had, and Cliff could remember her warning of a final extinction. But the word had never come again. The danger they were fighting had never become clear. “That’s what you called it. And now you say you think you have a way to stop it. That bringing us together will help. That one of Bridges project is the solution. But what are we fighting? What could extinguish us?”

Amelie hesitated. She looked like she was going to answer, or at least wanted to. But then her eyes lit up in fear. She tried to turn to Cliff, to walk closer. He instinctively mirrored her movements.

“Cliff—”

Their hands almost reached each other, but before they touched, she was torn from him. Cliff woke with a start, his hand slowly uncurling from the white knuckled grip he’d had on the cloth. The BB was crying a bit, startled form his sudden movement. He put the cloth aside and took her up, gently shaking her until she calmed.

When she slowly started to slip back asleep, Cliff took the cloth again. He tried to find Amelie but—

Nothing.

As time passed, Cliff spent his days with the BB and his nights searching for Amelie again. However, he didn’t make any further progress with her. That fear had mirrored the moment they’d met during his first repatriation. She’d looked afraid before shouting her warning. It had even felt similar if Cliff thought about it. Was that part of what they were fighting? But what even was it? What was keeping Amelie from talking?

When Cliff got a moment, he updated Fragile on what he’d seen and the situation with the BB so she could pass the information to the boys. She made sure to add, “They’ll want to come here and make sure you’re alright.”

Cliff shook his head though. “No, they should focus on you and their work. It’s not like them being here will help anything.”

“And Sam? Should I avoid jumping him at all?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t able to ask her about the warning again.”

“Then we shall err on the side of caution. Yes?”

“It might be best, though I understand jumping is sometimes the only option.”

Fragile nodded in understanding. Before she left though, she added, “I am glad you will be able to keep the child for now. But this deal with the president…”

“I know. Only time will tell if it was a foolish option.”

“True,” Fragile murmured.

She then left, leaving Cliff and the BB alone again. Even after his talk with Fragile, Cliff tried a few more times. Amelie just never back. With Amelie no longer talking again, Cliff tried his best to just live from day to day. The BB was a small but welcomed aspect to that, even with the unknowns circling around Cliff.

He continued on with the occasional trips to the distribution center to re-synchronize the BB. Then finally something broke up the new routine as he got a request to watch Callisto for a few days. He of course agreed, and it wasn’t long until Fragile stopped by. He was a little surprised that Lockne was with her though to drop her daughter off.

Callisto had grown quite a bit from the small baby Cliff had first seen. Her hair was at a nice bob now and she was very much getting into her toddler years. Her speech had grown moderately faster than the average child, but considering her parentage Cliff wasn’t too surprised. Still, some sounds she continued to mess up. Doing a hard ‘r’ was especially difficult so instead of simply, “Grandpa,” it had first come out as, “Ganpy.”

Those ‘r’s were improving, but the nickname was still very stuck with Cliff. He didn’t mind it though. It was sweet and his own smile brightened as his eyes lighted on her. Callisto immediately reached away from Lockne. Her hands grabbed at the air as her still growing hair swayed around her head. “Ganpy!”

“Hello little one,” Cliff smiled. As he took her up in his arms, he could tell she was immediately interested by the BB. He would introduce them later. Right now, he curiously looked to Lockne.

“Fragile is jumping me to Capital Knot, so I figured I would hand her over myself this time. Målingen too.”

“Don’t you usually just go to one of your labs when you’re directly working together?” asked Cliff.

“Normally, yes. But we are actually going to try and implement our latest project at Capital Knot. It’ll start there and-with the help of Porters-spread from there.”

The comment made Cliff frown. “What kind of project?”

“I know what you’re thinking,” Lockne sighed. “But it can’t be whatever project you think Bridges is planning. They really aren’t involved in it even if we’re using their benefits.”

“I said it could still be important,” Fragile seemed to remind her.

“And Målingen and I said it couldn’t possibly be what you’re searching for.”

“Hold on. Could you just explain it first?” Cliff quickly asked.

“Målingen and I call it a chiral network due to its base source of power. Once everyone is attached, information will be able to flow freely. Like it could before the Death Stranding. But the president was never involved in it. It was our idea, based on how our connected Beach works. It’s not what you’re looking for Cliff.”

He stayed silent for a second. He believed Lockne’s explanation, but that didn’t mean Bridget couldn’t use their project for her own plans. He couldn’t be sure how an advanced network could be the real solution though. But Lockne had basically just said the key words. Talk of connecting everything, and just the fact that it would begin in Capital Knot? That felt to suspicious to him.

“Its creation has nothing to do with the president,” Lockne repeated.

“But that doesn’t mean she can’t use it,” Cliff murmured.

Lockne let out a tired sigh. “You’re right. Which is also why I wanted to stop by, to explain it all the same. I’d hoped you would see it as unrelated.”

“But everything is simply lining up too quickly,” Fragile replied.

Cliff nodded in agreement.

“If it’s true though, it’s not like we can stop it. So many people will be helped once it gets implemented nationwide. Lives could be saved. And even if it is what you’ve been looking for, wouldn’t suddenly cancelling the project on our end make it seem suspicious?”

“You’re right, and the last thing I want to do is put you or Målingen in danger,” Cliff agreed. “Just…keep your ears to the ground. Especially while you’re in Capital Knot. There’s no telling what you could hear.”

“Of course Cliff. I wish you’d explained this all sooner though.”

“I know. I’d hoped not to bring others into it, even Sam and Higgs. But Amelie made that quite impossible.”

Lockne nodded in understanding. Fragile checked how long they’d been there. “We should get moving if you want to get there in time.”

“Yes, yes.” Lockne quickly came forward, hugging Callisto in Cliff’s arms and kissing her on the top of her head. “Mama loves you. I’ll see you in a bit.” To Cliff, she added, “And you still have everything you need to take care of her?”

“Of course. And what I didn’t have, I already picked up from the distribution center yesterday.”

“Thank you.” Lockne quickly hugged Cliff too.

Fragile gave Callisto a little wave which the child seemed to love to no end. “Until next time Cliff,” she said. Then she and Lockne turned to each other and they soon disappeared.

Immediately, Callisto was pointing over Cliff’s shoulder. “There a baby.”

“Yes, there is,” chuckled Cliff. He turned her around and walked over to the pod. He sat down at the table with Callisto in his lap so they could both be at eye level.

Callisto waved. “Hi baby.”

The BB gave a wave back with her small limb, bubbles floating out of her mouth.

“What called?” asked Callisto.

“She’s a BB. Though her specific marking is BB-28.”

“Stupid name,” mumbled Callisto.

Cliff chuckled. He had thought of that himself, and how he didn’t want to continue calling her BB forever. “Yes, it is a stupid name. Isn’t it? How about you help me decide on a new one?”

Callisto’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Yes!” She turned back to the pod. “You will get new name baby!”

BB did a flip, seeming to detect the joy coming from Callisto.

“I’ll start making lunch for us, and you can start writing down suggestions, hmm?”

Callisto nodded again.

“Alright. Let me get everything you need.”

Cliff had already put her booster seat out, so he set her in it now. He went to grab items for her to write with and then went to work making lunch. He mostly focused on the food, but made sure to regularly look back at the kids. Each time it made him smile as he watched Callisto write a name down. She would hold it up and say it to the BB, and wait for the BB’s opinion. Then she would put a check next to the name or cross it off.

Despite everything, at least today would prove to be a perfect kind of day.


	24. A Knot with a Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thank you as always! This is a big fucking chapter but I didn't want to split it up. Hope you enjoy!

Higgs rolled over. Considering they had to outrun mules yesterday, his muscles were extra sore. A couple more minutes in bed certainly wouldn’t hurt. Still, he could feel Sam already slipping out and heading towards the shower. Higgs halfheartedly tried to hold on. When Sam successfully got away though, he just rolled over and pulled the blanket closer.

A little bit of time had passed since Amelie’s reappearance and the addition of the BB. There wasn’t much that could be done, especially by Higgs alone. Since the connection seemed to be between Amelie and Cliff, it wasn’t like Higgs could just find her and try to get some answers. And he was pretty sure doing so would have probably given Cliff a heart attack anyways.

No, all he could do, or Sam and Fragile for that matter, was keep their ears and eyes open and continue with the deliveries.

They all knew about the twins’ project at least. That could prove fruitful. However, Higgs was still confused as to how the president or Amelie could use it for themselves so to speak. However that would occur, it was still a little ways off. Målingen and Lockne were still actually creating what they coined the q-pid, the device that would actually download and connect each area. Since they were momentarily stationed in Capital Knot, after a few days Fragile had gone ahead and brought Callisto back to them.

When they had a chance to explain their project, Higgs had commented on the similarity between the q-pid and his quipu. The twins admitted there was some inspiration from the necklace and ancient way of recording information.

It was interesting stuff, but as much as Higgs would have liked to watch their back while they were at the heart of Bridges, he and Sam still had deliveries to make. They simply visited when they could. They’d also seen Cliff and the BB only a short while ago. It was a quick visit, but still enough for them to learn that with the help of Callisto, Cliff had given the BB a name.

Louise, or Lou for short.

Higgs liked it. It was simple, but there was elegance to it. Yet hearing Cliff say her name had still pained Higgs’ heart a little. Sam’s too by the look of it.

There was no telling what would be in that deal that had allowed Cliff to keep her. Or if they could successfully get her out of the pod. Higgs had already been wary of what could happen to her, but now with a name that really made her a part of their little family, the possibilities were twice as heartbreaking. But, just like with Amelie or the twins’ project, there was little Higgs could do.

Right in the moment, Higgs was just trying to get a few extra minutes of shut eye as Sam took his shower. He just wanted to rest and drift back into nothingness. He almost did, right up until the sound of an incoming message jolted Higgs awake again.

He groaned and tried to shove his head under a pillow. He laid there until he heard Sam get out of the shower. From the following sounds, Sam must have gotten dressed and then walked over to open up the terminal.

“It’s for you. Says urgent.”

Higgs let out another groan but got up. If it really was urgent, he’d have to catch up on sleep later. He got up and immediately trapped Sam where he was. Sam rolled his eyes but stayed still as Higgs draped himself over Sam’s body and opened the message. The first line had them both freezing.

It started with Higgs’ last name.

“I haven’t used that in years,” he whispered. “So then…but it couldn’t be. Then who else could it be? I wouldn’t have told it to anyone else.”

He kept rambling to himself. He was trying to reassure himself that it wasn’t…that it couldn’t possibly be…but the rambling was also just making him panic more. Fuck, he was over thirty! And yet his stomach was dropping to the floor.

Sam stayed silent. With how Higgs was gripping him now, he would have normally pushed him off by this point. But even if it was a little uncomfortable, Higgs clearly needed the support. Sam finally reached up and gripped the arm that was thrown around his shoulders.

Higgs stopped. His eyes finally focused on the rest of the information. He went over the sender’s name-Peter Engel, that sounded familiar-and what the request was-a retrieval. The package he would be getting was called fragile, handle with care, but nothing more. He didn’t understand how this person-if it was who he thought it was-could have found him. But—

“I have to go.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No.”

That finally made Sam pull back so he could properly look at Higgs. “You want to go alone?”

“Yes. No. I mean-I just…” Higgs trailed off. The location was near. Higgs quickly went to the local map. Assuming everything was up to date, the location was for a prepper’s shelter. It was one Higgs had gone to, that Fragile Express had repeatedly gone to. It explained why the sender’s name sounded familiar, but Higgs remembered that he’d never actually seen the prepper inside, this Peter Engel.

It wasn’t unheard of to have a prepper like that. There were a few that didn’t like to show themselves or even say anything when deliveries were picked up and dropped off. But could it really be him?

Something inside Higgs told him he needed to go. The message was short, but that word, urgent, popped up in his mind’s eye again. That meant limited time. It meant if he didn’t go now, whatever opportunity this was could disappear. He could have lived his whole life not knowing, but now that he had an opportunity? He had to go.

Higgs pulled away and started putting on his gear.

“If you’re going, I am too,” repeated Sam.

“Absolutely not. If it’s-if it’s him, I don’t want you anywhere near him.”

“How old is he now? Older than my dad? He can’t hurt me,” Sam said. He noted as Higgs was shaking. “He can’t hurt you either.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

Higgs just nodded, not trusting his voice a second time. He carefully swallowed. “It’s about a day away. If I’m not back in…in a few. Then you can come.”

Sam shook his head. “Not changing my mind. I’m not abandoning you on this.”

Higgs finally stopped getting ready. He leaned against the side table. “I don’t want you to meet him. I never wanted you to meet him. If he’s even alive-if it’s really him, I don’t want you near him.”

“I can take care of myself.”

Higgs finally glanced up with a broken look. “Please.”

“I can also track a person pretty well. If it makes you feel better, I’ll let you believe you’re going alone and just follow you by twenty paces. But I’m not leaving you.”

Higgs bowed his head again. He didn’t want Sam to go, but… He just tried to breath. He grounded himself in what he could hear, feel, smell. As his head cleared a little, he could admit that what he was saying was the fear of a child talking. He was an adult. Sam was an adult. And Sam was also fucking stubborn and meant every word he had just said. He’d follow Higgs either way, so they might as well stick together where it was safer.

“Ok. Ok, but you have to trust me.”

“Which means?”

“Just follow my lead. On whatever happens. Unless…unless it looks like I’m going to do anything stupid.”

“I can do that. I’ll let Fragile know we’re unavailable for a bit.”

“Thank you,” whispered Higgs. He took a deeper sigh before pushing back from the table. He finished preparing while Sam wrote the message and then got ready too.

As Higgs walked out, he continued to take note of the physical feelings around him, of the quipu that always rested under his clothes. He kept himself under control despite how much he wanted to let it all out. He didn’t even know if it was him yet. No point in throwing a fit when he could be mistaken.

It might not be him.

God he fucking hoped it wasn’t him.

Higgs and Sam didn’t take anything with them besides a few ladders and ropes between them. The shelter was in a hilly section north of Port Knot where they currently were. Considering how often people moved through the area, bits of equipment constantly got left that helped future porters. However, there was no telling when a piece would disintegrate thanks to timefall.

The forethought proved useful as they used the majority of their equipment going up to the shelter. They only had two anvils and a ladder left between them by the time they made it. The sun was lowering, but not quite gone. They’d made good time. If nothing came of this, they could easily make it back to Port Knot before it was too late, the way back being a little easier to navigate.

Higgs took the lead in the final steps. He went inside and touched the terminal. The order was waiting to be picked up. Higgs accepted it. Nothing happened.

His eyes slowly roamed over the opening. There were no signs of who was inside. It was the typical, modern shelter that most preppers lived in now. The terminal was the same as any other.

But nothing came up for them to pick up. The only sound was the successful noise of having picked up a package, despite how Higgs hadn’t actually done so. He could feel himself growing more upset. They’d come all this way. They’d followed the sender’s cryptic message. So why wasn’t anything happening? Why wasn’t anything being said? Why—

The locks on the door turned off. Higgs’ eyes shot towards it. His body froze.

Slowly, the door creaked opened. The man that walked out was a little hunched. His skin was old and wrinkled. What hair was left on the receding hairline was speckled gray with some brown still holding on. It was all so different. The power behind each step was gone. The towering stance and height too. But the eyes, when Higgs finally landed on them, he knew.

They’d always shared the same eyes, and it had been the only clue as to what looks he might have inherited from his mother. He’d always assumed his mother had had the same blue eyes as her brother and him.

Higgs didn’t get a chance to react. He didn’t get a chance to even imagine how he should react. Anger? Should he cry? Maybe let this old man know just how much fucking pain Higgs had experienced because of him. But all Higgs could feel was numb. Because of that, he didn’t get a chance to move back before his uncle hugged him.

“I knew it was you. After that, I checked every time a porter came. Just to see if you had returned. And you got my message. I knew you would.”

The voice was familiar, but there was a great deal of age in it. Age and…sanity. He didn’t sound as angry as Higgs remembered, as irrational, but it didn’t make Higgs feel any better. When his uncle pulled back, he didn’t fully let go. Higgs’ stomach turned. He wanted to pull away so god damn quickly but didn’t dare.

“And who-you didn’t need to bring help for the package. I know you’ll handle it just fine on your own.”

“So…there is a package,” Higgs murmured. Then it hadn’t just been a ploy to get him here.

“Yes. Come in, both of you I suppose. No need to wait outside though I’m sure this won’t take long.”

Higgs felt his uncle’s arm come around him. He was feeble. Higgs had never known his exact age, but he knew he was close to ten years older than Cliff and clearly hadn’t kept himself in the same kind of shape. Yet still the arm made Higgs flinch. It made him want to curl away. It made him feel so fucking small, even as his uncle used him as a glorified crutch.

He took the first couple of steps down into the bunker—

Fuck, he couldn’t breathe! He was in the fucking bunker again. He needed to get out. He wanted out! He needed to get the fuck out—

But he could get out. He could leave whenever he wanted to with Sam at his back, and this wasn’t the same bunker. Higgs just had to keep reminding himself of that. He would be ok. He could even leave now. But now that he knew his uncle was alive-though clearly just barely-he needed to know how. If he could, he wanted to know why. And he wanted to know what this package was.

They came down into the main room. It wasn’t even close to the bunker Higgs had first grown up in. That made it a little easier to breath though also more confusing. The place still had an ordered sense about it, but there was no insanely high number of food and supplies lining every wall. There were other aspects to it that his uncle before would have called pointless. There was proper lighting. It looked warm, like a home.

Higgs walked his uncle to a chair. Even after he sat down, Higgs just stayed there. He couldn’t bring himself to look around despite the curiosity. Sam clearly didn’t have the same qualms though. He picked up a frame. Images floated by on it. Higgs caught sight of a slightly younger version of his uncle and a woman.

“That would be my wife.”

Higgs’ head whipped around. “Wife?”

His uncle nodded. “She died about four years ago, poor thing. I miss her every damn day though.”

Higgs could only stare. This didn’t sound like the uncle he remembered. There actually seemed to be warmth in his voice.

His uncle let out a long sigh. “I know you probably don’t want to be here longer than you need to. I just ask you to hear me out and take my last request.”

Higgs glanced back.

“Sit down son.”

The tone was different, but Higgs couldn’t help but remember all the times those words had been said as a threat, or even screamed at him. He felt even sicker as he slowly sat. He knew he was doing it because he wanted-no needed to know what had happened now. But there was still a part of him that followed his uncle’s request out of fear too.

Sam stayed off to the side as they began to talk. Higgs wished to reach out, but the last thing he wanted to do was to share that kind of affection in front of his uncle.

“I waited to see if you would ever return. I did. Waited day and night. But when it was clear you wasn’t, I somehow picked myself up and moved on.”

Higgs listened to a long journey that had taken his uncle back east. That had gotten him ‘help’ as he’d put it. He’d changed his name to help him start fresh. To start anew. He credited starting anew to him also meeting the love of his life. Higgs listened to what now seemed to be ending as a simple life. A good life.

And it felt wrong. It felt so fucking wrong and undeserved, but Higgs didn’t have the strength to argue.

Sam stayed silent the entire time. He found that his usual poker face was hard to maintain as the distain and anger at the man in front of him wanted to slip out. He just kept his arms crossed and his hands hidden so no one could see just how hard he was clenching his fists.

“If I could do it again, I would have raised you the right way. The proper way. Thankfully, I got a second chance.”

That had Higgs finally looking his uncle in the eyes. Not only did he wonder if that was some half assed attempt at an apology-did he even realize the pain he had caused-but the second part had his stomach twisting even further. Before he could ask about it, his uncle spoke again. His feeble voice seemed to rise as loud as it could now.

“Bethe, you can come on out honey.”

Higgs turned. So did Sam. They both stayed completely still as a door opened and a kid walked out. Her hair was a light brown. Her skin pale. She looked to be in her early teens, perhaps a little older than Higgs had been when Cliff had saved him. And the eyes…

Higgs recognized the eyes.

As she walked by, Higgs quickly checked her. He didn’t see any bruises on her skin, and she wasn’t holding herself like something was hurting. She looked a little skinny but not as underfed as Higgs had been. She also looked at them curiously. She didn’t try and hide as she walked over to Higgs’ uncle and sat by him.

“This him daddy?” she asked.

“Yes it is, honey. All your bags packed?”

She nodded.

“Good girl, honey.”

“H-hang on,” Higgs quickly got out. “You’re, you—”

“Myself and my dear wife were blessed in our late years. Despite how unlikely it all was. Despite how the chance of Bethe surviving was so low. Bethe, this would be your brother.”

Technically they were cousins, but Higgs didn’t argue. He just stared at Bethe and she stared back. He could barely believe this. He didn’t understand why his uncle was showing him all this either. At least until that comment of packed bags and a last request clicked into place. Still, Higgs murmured, “I don’t understand.”

“I want you to take her with you,” his uncle replied. Before Higgs could respond, he added, “Look at me. I’m about damn near on my death bed as it is. And my honey is too young to be let alone in a world like this. She should be with family, and the moment I saw you at my door, knew it was you, I knew you’d watch out for her. I know it’s a big task. But this had to happen while I was still alive so Bethe wasn’t left completely alone.”

Higgs still felt thrown by all this, but he would do it. Of fucking course he would do it. The fact that there was a child there made him want to rush forward, grab her, and run away. The only reason he didn’t was because he wanted to avoid doing anything violent in front of the kid, especially if his uncle was willingly letting her go.

Where would Bethe go? How would Higgs care for her? He’d answer those questions later. Right now, he just knew he had to get her out.

“I’ll do it,” whispered Higgs.

“I knew you would. Go get everything honey.”

She nodded and quickly rushed off. Higgs’ uncle made a move to stand and Higgs automatically stood up in time. He walked close to Higgs. He put his arms around him in a hug that felt like it was suffocating Higgs. He put his arms around his uncle, not because he wanted to but because that instinct to avoid retaliation was still flaring up in him.

“If you’d only stayed longer, if you could have only been with me, I would have raised you right. Even right along with your sister. I wish we’d gotten that chance. Just know I am so grateful I’ve gotten to see you as this man before me.”

It wasn’t an apology. It wasn’t even close. As far as Higgs could tell, there was no awareness for what had happened to him. Higgs could only nod in acknowledgement. If he said anything else, he would just start yelling. He would scream at him why. Why had all that shit happened? Why had he apparently changed now, for a wife, for a daughter, but not for his own sister’s son? But Higgs just stayed silent, even as Bethe ran back out. She was all geared up, even with protective covering on against timefall.

The image was a stark contrast to Higgs’ own leaving of his bunker. Bethe easily stood there whereas Higgs could still remember trying to sneak out with a handful of belongings, right up until his uncle had grabbed his bag and thrown him to the floor.

Higgs didn’t understand any of this. He didn’t believe his uncle either. But if…if it was true, then at least that meant Bethe hadn’t grown up like him. Right? He didn’t understand, but he could at least be grateful she hadn’t been hurt either. Right?

“Come give daddy a hug.”

She rushed over and did just that. Higgs had to look away.

“We won’t be seeing each other again after this.”

“I know,” she respectively said.

“I wished I could have seen you grow up even more, but you need to keep living, and I’m too old to give you that life anymore honey. You know I love you right?”

“Yes daddy.”

“And I love you too Higgs. You know that right?”

God, he was going to make him fucking say it, wasn’t he? Higgs just had to stay calm. He would have Bethe out of this situation in just a few minutes. Could he still just pick her up and run? Sure, but if she had managed to avoid violence in this home, then Higgs didn’t want to be the one to introduce it.

He nodded.

“Oh come now Higgs. This is the first and only moment we’ll be together as a family.” His uncle put his feeble arms around both of them. They looked like they would break as easily as a twig, and yet they still made Higgs feel so small. He wanted Sam. Fuck, he was an adult, but he wanted Cliff. He wanted him to pull him into his arms and tell him everything was going to be ok just like he had when he’d been younger.

“Just once more son.”

He wasn’t even his fucking son! He never should have been forced to act like he was his father either. And then his uncle’s hand came up. Higgs could feel the wrinkles holding his cheek, practically caressing it. He couldn’t fucking breathe. All he could think was the last time his uncle had held him like this. The last time he had said, “You know I love you, right?” before hitting Higgs so hard he’d thought his jaw had dislocated.

But somehow, Higgs pulled at a form of strength deep inside. He just had to get through this one last time. He just had to keep from breaking down or finally just slugging the man like he so fucking wanted to. He murmured, “I love you too daddy.”

“There it is.” He patted Higgs cheek. He kissed Bethe on her forehead. “I know you’ll take good care of your sister. Thank you for this. I know she’ll have a future with you.”

Higgs could only nod as he watched his uncle smother Bethe in more attention once more and kept calling her honey. He watched, but she didn’t seem to mind it. Had she really gotten a good childhood here? Had she been kept from harm? Higgs pushed down the question of, ‘why her and not me’. He just wanted to be grateful that she hadn’t gotten hurt if this was true.

Finally, after a painfully long goodbye, they were able to leave. Sam finally introduced himself to Bethe, just softly murmuring, “I work with Higgs,” at her.

Even with them finally being able to leave, and his uncle choosing to not follow them outside again, Higgs still had to stop the urge to rip Bethe away and just run. His legs slowly guided him up the steps of the bunker after Sam. Now that his uncle wasn’t there, couldn’t see, he grabbed at the quipu. He just had to ground himself. Not only in the physical senses but also in every person that had cared for him, that he considered a friend or family.

Sam looked back, but before he could do anything, Higgs just shook his head. He would try to stay in control for now. If he had to break down later, he would, but he didn’t want to do it in front of Bethe. He glanced back to her.

She was all wrapped up and ready for the world. She’d let Higgs take one bag, but kept the other one strapped to her back. Considering she hadn’t looked impressed at the outside world, at least Higgs knew she hadn’t been trapped in the bunker like he had. She probably hadn’t seen the world a lot considering how pale she was, but at least she wasn’t as lost as he had been.

“We’ll be going to Port Knot City. It’s near to here. In that direction,” Higgs said as he pointed out their path.

“I know. A porter from there took my momma when she died. Took her all the way up to the incinerator.”

“I’m sorry she passed away,” murmured Higgs.

“Thanks, but it’s been a while. And she didn’t cause a voidout. That’s good, right?”

Higgs nodded in agreement. So she understood voidouts, what they were actually called. She knew of Port Knot and the purpose of porters. She was definitely more knowledgeable than Higgs had been. “I didn’t learn your age yet.”

“Isn’t it manners not to ask a lady her age?”

That actually had Higgs chuckling a little. Sam managed to crack a small smile. She answered before Higgs could apologize.

“I’m fourteen.”

So a little older than Higgs had been when Cliff had saved him. He didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing yet.

“I’m sorry this is happening so quickly,” murmured Higgs. “This must be strange.”

“Not really. Daddy’s been preparing me for it for a while. Considering it looks like he could pass away any day now, he wanted to make sure I was able to go looking for you if you didn’t find me first. He wanted us to find each other because we’re family.”

Higgs didn’t know how he felt about that. He was glad to get Bethe out of there anyways. But had his uncle somehow convinced himself that by putting Bethe with Higgs, that meant he still had control over her? Because he still thought he had left a permanent hold on Higgs? Of course, that was assuming he’d been abusive to Bethe which Higgs still wasn’t sure about. He didn’t want to just come out and ask either. Not yet. Instead, he just said, “You know we’re not actually siblings. Right?”

“I kind of figured. It didn’t sound right how daddy explained it. But we are related?”

“We’re cousins. But if you want to keep thinking of me as a brother, that’s ok.” It didn’t really make that much of a difference.

“He always referred to you as my brother. It would be weird to change that now.”

“Then brother it is. I don’t mind having a little sister either.”

“I’m not that little! And I’m still growing.”

“Considering we are related, I’m sure you are.”

That caused Sam to roll his eyes though he clearly didn’t mind their talking. If anything, it made him glad that he was getting to know more about the girl they were guiding back to Port Knot. And he was sure it was helping to distract Higgs.

“But back to what you said before, it’s not that weird. It has to be weirder for you. Right?” asked Bethe.

“You could say that,” Higgs admitted. “I hadn’t seen him in years.”

“He always said you ran away. Did you?”

How much to explain? For the moment, Higgs just said, “Something like that. But I thankfully wasn’t alone.”

Higgs and Sam shared a glance. Bethe easily caught on. “Then you’re not just a colleague? That makes more sense. I thought it was weird, just bringing a random porter to help with something personal.”

“I grew up with Sam. After…after I left him,” Higgs said. “With Sam and his father, Cliff.”

Sam gave a small nod of confirmation when she looked his way.

“Is he still alive?”

Sam nodded again. “You’ll probably meet at some point.”

“What’s he like?”

Sam and Higgs talked a little about Cliff and their early childhood. It was odd though as they both weren’t sure of what to divulge yet. Sure, there were good stories to tell, fun and sweet ones, but fuck it hadn’t started out like that.

And thinking of Cliff made Higgs think about what he was going to do with Bethe. He’d agreed to take her just to immediately get her out, but it wasn’t like she could just follow him and Sam in their work. She was still a kid, and really the only stable option would be to have her stay with Cliff. He of course wouldn’t mind, but god it was going to be a strange and stressful conversation explaining everything that happened.

They continued back to Port Knot at a steady pace, all the way Bethe carefully gleaming information from them. However, despite all the information she was asking for, Higgs did notice she didn’t ever ask why he’d ‘run away’ as she put it. Had his uncle given her some lie as a reason? Or did she maybe know the real reason?

Higgs wasn’t sure and by the time they made it to Port Knot, his understanding of her childhood up until that point wasn’t any clearer. He still didn’t want to directly ask her, but he hadn’t gotten much information from her.

It was late when they got back. Even if the physical exertion of walking all that way was taken out of the equation, just the pure anxiety Higgs had felt all day was enough to give him a massive stomach ache. They got to their private room, and Higgs realized he would have to figure out where Bethe would be sleeping too. Would it be best to just get a separate room for her? Or would she not want to be alone right now?

He wasn’t sure. For the moment, he just asked, “Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” she admitted.

“What do you want? It’s your pick.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

“Pizza!”

That made Higgs show a real grin for the first time that day. “Alright, now I know we’re really related. Got a preference?”

“Just pizza.”

“Good. Sam and I will grab some. Just stay here and get a feel for the room.” Higgs paused. He wanted himself and Sam to give her some space, but he also realized that might have sounded a bit too bossy. He added, “I mean, if you really wanted to, you could look around the facility. But the underground sections of a distribution center are pretty big. I still get lost sometimes. We could be your guide later on and show you everything when we’re all less tired instead of you doing it on your own. Yeah?”

“That sounds good,” she agreed.

“Good. We’ll be right back.”

Higgs walked out the door. Sam followed close behind. The door to the private room behind them closed and Higgs went straight to the wall in front of him. He leaned against it, head down and shoulders heaving.

Bridges employees walked past, hurrying to a job or finally getting off on a break. All of them blurred together for Higgs though. All he felt besides his own shaking form was Sam. Sam’s hands steading him as they lay against his back and then gripped his hips. Sam’s voice in his ear calmly counting out how long to hold a breath and then release. Sam’s lips when they were finally pressed to Higgs’ temple.

“I don’t understand,” Higgs managed to get out. His breathing wasn’t completely under control yet, but at least with Sam there, he hadn’t started hyperventilating.

“You’re going to run yourself crazy trying to.”

Higgs silently nodded. He pulled out the quipu so that it now hung in front of him. The knots fell against each other, creating a soft, chiming sound that countered the background noise of the center.

“His fucking hands,” whispered Higgs. “Each time I didn’t know if I was going to panic and bolt or break his fucking fingers.”

“Going to be honest, never wanted to hurt someone as much as I did then,” Sam admitted. “Wanted to reach out too.”

“I wanted you to,” Higgs replied. “Just not in front of him.”

“That’s what I figured. But I’m here now.”

Higgs nodded in agreement as he finally turned towards Sam. He held him a moment longer until he felt like he would be able to see Bethe again and not break. “Alright…food first. Emotional cry later if needed.”

Sam snorted, but gave Higgs a look that clearly said he’d still be right there if it turned out Higgs needed that.

They went to get the pizza processed and created. It wouldn’t be quite as good as anything they would have made at home, but it would do for now. Higgs wondered if he should go ahead and be direct about Bethe needing to live in a stable place. She was a smart kid. Higgs could already tell that. She had to know that she wouldn’t just be going on deliveries with him of waiting around in a distribution center for the few days when Higgs came back, right?

With those thoughts in mind, Higgs and Sam returned to their room—

Oh no.

_Oh no oh on, he hadn’t thought she’d take him up on it!_

Bethe wasn’t in the room and Higgs’ anxiety immediately spiked up. He’d just begun the role as a caregiver for her. He couldn’t fuck it all up now!

“Hey, she’s probably right around the corner. Got tired of the same walls in here or something. We’ll find her,” Sam said.

Higgs didn’t respond, instead rushing back out and looking around in the hopes she might just be right there. She wasn’t though and they both were quickly walking down the halls and asking if anyone had seen a young teenager by herself.

He was trying not to freak out. She probably was just in the distribution center somewhere.

But what if she’d just left?

She’d said she was prepared for all this, but maybe she’d been hiding more behind her expression. What if she’d gone outside? Fuck, what if she was deciding to go back to her father? What would Higgs do if that was the case? He didn’t want her near him again, but what could he say to convince her? Fuck, Cliff hadn’t been able to convince him at first. He’d been set on returning home because that had been all he’d known. Was Bethe going through the same thought process? But she said she was prepared to leave!

The panicked thoughts kept running through Higgs’ head. They didn’t stop until he finally found her in one of the packaging areas curiously talking to a Bridges employee. Higgs had to hold back the urge to just run over. He did drop his head though and cover his face. He just had to take a moment before he approached her again. Sam was close behind as the Bridges employee turned to them.

“Oh, is she with you?”

Sam nodded.

“Real interesting young lady. It was nice talking to you.”

“You too,” she said with a little smile and a wave. She glanced over. “You were right. It is easy to get lost down here.” She paused. “What?”

“It’s-no. I’m sorry. I was just worried,” sighed Higgs. “I should have been more honest. I didn’t expect you to just go off on your own.”

“Oh. So does that mean I’m in trouble?” she carefully asked.

“No! Not at all. I said you could look around if you wanted to. I just didn’t expect it.”

“So then you’re angry?”

“I was just worried,” sighed Higgs. “I know you were prepared for this, but I really wasn’t. When you weren’t there, I just started to panic about screwing things up on our first day together.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s ok. Still hungry?”

She nodded.

“Let’s go eat then.”

Higgs and Sam guided her back. No one spoke right away. Higgs was just too exhausted to say anything. He simply grabbed a slice and collapsed on the ground once inside the private room. Bethe jumped up onto the bed to eat and Sam leaned against a wall in between them. Higgs tiredly rubbed his face when he was done and looked back to Bethe. He noticed her still eyeing what remained.

“You can have the rest.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, you’re a growing kid. Need all the fuel you can get,” Higgs said with a small smile.

She jumped over and did just that. Sam also showed a sad smile. He could remember the first time he and Higgs had shared a meal, just the two of them, and how he’d had to put the extra food on Higgs’ plate so he knew it was ok to eat more.

As Bethe was shoveling her face, she started to add, “I’m sorry I worried you so much.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“But it kind of is.” She paused to swallow before adding, “I was kind of…testing you.”

That caught Higgs’ attention. “Testing me? What for?”

“I wanted to see if you would get mad.”

Higgs could feel his stomach dropping. He pushed himself up and walked over so he could sit next to her. “Why would you think I’d get mad?”

“I didn’t really think you’d get mad. But I still wanted to make sure you wouldn’t default to that,” admitted Bethe. “Seeing you for the first time, I already didn’t think you’d be similar. But I just had to make sure you weren’t like daddy.”

Higgs closed his eyes. God damn it, he’d hoped this wasn’t the case. He felt Sam walking over and sitting by him. He probably didn’t want to make Bethe feel like she was boxed in by sitting on her other side but still wished to comfort them both. When Higgs opened his eyes again, she seemed to be looking at him with a more honest and open look.

“You won’t call me ‘honey’. Right?”

“I can call you whatever you want me to,” murmured Higgs. “So if you don’t want to be called that, I definitely won’t.”

She gave a small nod. “Thanks. He never listened to me when I said I didn’t like it.” She looked down as she pulled at her own fingers. “He talked about you and him a lot. Never mentioned no one else though. I’m not…I’m not an idiot you know. I got lucky having momma there as long as I did. And he was old. So there was only so much daddy could really do. But…but I did guess it was worse for you. Right?”

Higgs could only nod as his throat started to close up.

“Thought so. I was worried it might have made you like daddy. Which is why I tested you,” she quickly added. “I…I was excited that you were presenting me with an out. Every time daddy talked about you it gave me hope. But I didn’t know if you’d actually save me, or if I’d end up just having to run from you.”

Higgs couldn’t hold back the tears that were falling down his cheeks. Some were from anger. He should have just fucking killed him. He’d known. He’d fucking known that being some nice old man wasn’t his uncle. He should have fucking choked him to death! He should have punched him and not fucking stopped until his own knuckles were bleeding!

But the tears were also of pain and sadness, both at his own memories and now that he knew Bethe hadn’t been completely spared.

“I got lucky though.”

“You shouldn’t call that luck. You never should have been with him in the first place,” whispered Higgs.

“But I was,” pressed Bethe. “I still had my momma. She stopped what she could. She taught me right from wrong. I at least had that. You didn’t though.”

“No, I didn’t,” Higgs softly admitted. When he saw she was still looking at him with a curious face, he explained a little more. “I was so messed up when I was taken that I actually wanted to go back. I thought it was my fault and he was just loving me in the only way I deserved.”

“Taken? Then you didn’t run away.”

“I tried at first. But he caught me. It was actually Sam’s dad who saved me. He saved my life really.”

“He would talk about what he did with you,” Bethe murmured. “Would phrase it as being a bit too hard. I don’t think he hit me as much because of that. At least when momma was around and because he was so old. He’d do other things. Keep me from eating. Locked me in my room. Wouldn’t let me shower. I learned pretty quick how to make him feel like he was still in control. Thought about running away too, but I was hoping you’d show up soon and give me a safer out. Or he’d just finally die if nothing else.”

Higgs could understand the feeling. Suddenly, she hugged his side and pressed her face against his shoulder. “Thanks for coming. Even if you didn’t know you’d find me when you did.”

“I should have come sooner,” Higgs choked out.

“You came at all. That’s what matters.”

Higgs’ shoulders shook as he held her. He felt Sam pressed to his other side, one hand holding him and keeping him there. He just held her for a long time. He just wanted to try and get across that it was all over for her now. She was safe. She would never be harmed in that way again.

When he slightly pulled away to look at her face, she admitted, “You seem more upset about this than me.”

“Because I was hoping you hadn’t gone through even a fraction of what I had,” Higgs whispered. “I didn’t believe he could really change. But I wanted to, if only for your sake.”

“Thanks,” she murmured before giving him a tight hug again. When she pulled back, Higgs let her and wiped at his own face. “So, what happens now?”

“We can talk about it more tomorrow,” Higgs sighed. They should all be going to bed by now. “But you are safe now. I won’t let anyone ever touch you like he did again.”

“Thank you,” she repeated. She looked around the room and added. “Where should I sleep?”

“These rooms aren’t exactly the most accommodating,” admitted Higgs, “but if you don’t want to be alone, we can make it work. Or if you want some privacy, I can get a room for you.”

“Are you sure that’s ok?”

“Definitely. So, your own room?”

She nodded.

“Alright. Grab your stuff. Let’s find you one.”

Sam came with and it wasn’t long before they had Bethe set up. Higgs made sure she understood where everything was and explained how to use some of the tech she wasn’t familiar with. He finished with, “We’ll see you in the morning. But if you need us for whatever reason, we’re right down the hall.”

“Got it. Thank you. And thank you too Sam.”

“No need for that,” Sam murmured.

“We’re both happy we found you,” Higgs said.

They left her there. Higgs felt better knowing she was safe, but he hated that she hadn’t been safe in the first place. Once in their own room, Higgs couldn’t help but tiredly fume a little.

“I knew it. I fucking knew it. Doesn’t matter how much more rational he sounded. Doesn’t matter if some fucking pill or help managed to tighten his lose fucking screws. You may be able to fix fucking insanity, but you can’t fix being an abusive piece of shit.”

He made a motion and a black shard shot forth, breaking the smooth floor.

“Higgs,” Sam warned.

“Sorry. Fuck.” Higgs pulled back and the hardened tar dissipated. A small part of him thought about how his connection should have been relatively low if not completely absent at the moment. He shouldn’t have been able to do that, but he was too tired to give it any real sense of thought.

He just turned to Sam again. A few more tears came as he kissed him, pressed their foreheads together and just breathed him in.

“Sorry you had to go through all that,” murmured Sam. “And Bethe.”

“But we’ve got her now,” Higgs reminded himself. “She’s safe now.”

“She is.”

“And it probably wouldn’t do any good going back and strangling dear old _daddy_ either.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Sam pressed. He pulled back and gently held Higgs. “I’d like to see him hurt to. I won’t lie. But we saved Bethe. We got her out of there without subjecting her to more violence and you never have to see him again. He will die broken and alone never to see the children he wronged again. Remember that.”

Higgs nodded, leaning into Sam once more before fully pulling back. He wiped at his face. “I know I’ve probably been pushing too much today. If you want to pick your side, I’ll make sure not to touch you tonight.”

“You needed it. Still need it,” Sam replied as he walked forward and took Higgs’ hand again. “I don’t mind it for tonight.”

“You sure?”

He nodded.

“Thank you.”

Sam just showed a soft smile and pulled Higgs into a hug again. They fell asleep curled into each other, one of Higgs’ arms wrapped around Sam’s waist so as to keep him close. By the time a late morning came, Higgs felt a little better. That was helped when he got to see Bethe again and knew she really was alright. His uncle wouldn’t hurt them again. He wouldn’t hurt anyone ever again as he wasted away in his bunker before finally dying.

After breakfast, Higgs brought up the fact that though he would keep his promise to watch out for Bethe, she couldn’t be with him the entire time. He’d been right about her being smart though. It probably helped she was a bit older than Higgs had been and clearly hadn’t had her spirit crushed to the extent Higgs’ had before Cliff had saved him.

She understood the job of the porter and had picked up on how they both talked about Cliff. She wasn’t surprised that Higgs’ solution was for her to stay with him.

Still, she was understandably hesitant as she didn’t know him yet. She even asked, “What if we walk the entire way and he doesn’t want me there?”

“He would never do that,” smiled Higgs. “Though Sam is planning to jump by and inform him of everything that’s happened.”

“How can he do that?”

“Well you are informed on DOOMS, right?”

She nodded. She also understood more about the world than Higgs had around her age, but there was still a lot more to learn, especially in regards to the uniqueness of their own friends and family. They got the opportunity to introduce Bethe with Fragile that afternoon, and also explained to Fragile why they’d been unavailable.

Fragile knew a good deal about their intricate family and had come to her own conclusions with the missing pieces. But this was the first time Higgs was completely upfront with where he had come from before Cliff.

“I do not have the words…” she trailed off for a second before finally taking Higgs’ hand. “You are a very important partner to me and to the company, but you are also my friend. You know that right?”

And Higgs did, but it was still nice to hear Fragile say it.

They all discussed the best options going forward and eventually came to a consensus. Fragile did jump Sam over to Cliff. Higgs would have liked to see him too, but he didn’t want to leave Bethe alone for too long and no need to tire Fragile out when he would be heading that way anyways.

Sam informed Cliff of everything and Fragile jumped him back shortly after. Thankfully, the ship was at Port Knot so Higgs and Bethe would depart when it did. Before then, Sam and Higgs would do a few small deliveries, but when it came time to actually leave, Sam would stay in the east. Apparently the twins’ project was coming to fruition and they needed his and Fragile’s help in the coming weeks.

With all that decided, they started to act out the steps. It wasn’t long before Higgs was saying goodbye to Sam and Fragile. Even Bethe hugged them, having already connected with them over their short time together. It was moments like that which were already making Higgs so incredibly proud of her. He’d had to go through so much self-healing before he’d let Sam and Cliff truly in. But she was strong. She not only could but was wanting and ready to connect with the world she’d been kept from.

The ship ride over and the journey to Middle Knot took time. All through it, Higgs and Bethe opened up more and more to each other. Though he missed Sam, he was glad to take the journey alone with her so that they could truly get to know and understand each other. She clearly wanted that sibling relationship even with the age gap, and Higgs found he wanted it too.

Cliff and Sam were his family. So were the twins and Fragile. But to finally have one positive connection to his blood family was like filling in a piece that Higgs hadn’t realized he was missing until now.

They told stories to each other. The good ones were Bethe talking about her mother, or the first time she’d gone outside, or her reading of a favorite book. Higgs exchanged those with stories of Cliff and Sam. He talked about his first deliveries as a porter, of following the twins on their research expeditions, or his constant sparring with Fragile.

They told each other the bad stories too though. The best sense they could make of everything was that whether sick or not, their old man had wanted control. Plain and simple. He’d wanted to control Higgs, his new wife, Bethe. Higgs wondered if maybe that was why his uncle had hated him so much too. Higgs had represented a moment when he hadn’t been able to control his own sister and simply started hating Higgs from his conception.

Higgs had of course learned to open up to Sam and Cliff about his past, but Bethe hadn’t had anyone since her mother had died. After several days on the road as they took shelter from some timefall, Bethe finally broke. Higgs held her tight as her shoulders heaved and her muffled void wailed and wailed. Higgs didn’t let go, kissing her head and murmuring, “You’re not alone anymore. You’re not,” again and again.

Outside of their stories to each other, both those that brought a smile or had them holding back a tear, Higgs continued to teach Bethe about the world and all he knew. She learned of a lot, and Higgs was honest with every question she asked. He told her about his own abilities, more on Fragile, BBs, Sam and Cliff. The only thing he avoided was the current situation with Amelie. He had a feeling she could handle it, but he still didn’t want to put that weight on her shoulders if it wasn’t necessary. There was no need to worry her just yet, especially when they didn’t even fully understand the threat.

Then came the day where Bethe finally met Cliff. Higgs had taken a few orders along the way, but the goal had been to get to Middle Knot quickly and keep Bethe safe throughout the journey. Because of that, they’d made good time by finishing the journey within a week.

Middle Knot itself wasn’t much of a spectacle as by that point she’d seen Port and Lake Knot. However, it was clear that as they went deeper into the city, she was growing far more hesitant.

“I know you said he’d like me, but what if he still doesn’t?”

“He will,” promised Higgs.

“Well what if he changes his mind later?”

“He won’t.”

“But if he does—”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to strap you to my back for every delivery after this, huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “I can walk.”

“Well you asked.”

“But—”

“But nothing. And we’re here by the way.”

There was a chance Cliff wouldn’t be in, which Higgs would just show her around if he wasn’t. However, it turned out he was in the kitchen. It wasn’t too surprising considering the time and that Higgs had heard of Lou’s enjoyment of watching Cliff cook.

Even with his worry about what would happen to the BB, it was good to see her. She let out a muted gurgle in her pod. Higgs grinned and tapped it. “Good to see you too Lou.” He then went straight to Cliff and they both hugged.

“I wish you’d just come with Sam,” Cliff admitted as he pulled back and gently brushed Higgs’ hair aside. “I was so worried when he explained everything.”

“Walking all this way helped with distancing it all,” Higgs replied. Still, it was good to be home now as the memories of his uncle continued to grow distant once more. “Thank you again. For everything Cliff.”

“You really don’t have to.”

“I know. But just…after seeing that shit again, I really don’t say that enough,” Higgs said as he hugged him again.

“Are you at least staying a while?”

“I figured it would probably be best to rest before getting back to work. And I want to ease Bethe into this as best as I can. I know you, but she still doesn’t.”

Cliff nodded in agreement. They both finally turned to see Bethe introducing herself to Lou. Higgs had of course explained Lou and the current predicament, but it was still the first BB she’d seen even if she understood what they were. Lou put her hand up and Bethe touched the spot with her finger. “Hi,” she said again. She then looked over and dusted herself off. She held her head high and added a more formal, “Hello sir.”

“No need for that. Cliff is perfectly alright. And you must be Bethe.”

She nodded.

“It’s good to finally meet you Bethe. It’s not much, but would you like a tour?”

“Yes please.”

“Well, to begin, this is the kitchen…”

Cliff began walking her through everything. He also made it a point to comment on embarrassing stories of Higgs and Sam when something specific reminded him of them. It made Higgs roll his eyes, but he understood what Cliff was doing. The stories and connecting them all as a family would hopefully make it easier for Bethe to see Cliff as family as well.

Unsurprisingly, he’d already set up Higgs and Sam’s old room for her. Higgs made sure to tell her she could look through anything and everything. What was his was hers. Then they made it back to the kitchen and Cliff asked, “Do you mind helping me?”

“You want me to help?” Bethe carefully asked.

“I would love it. Though I would understand if you would rather sit and recuperate from the long journey.”

She quickly shook her head. “No! I’d like to help.”

“Good. Higgs, grab that for me please.”

And with that, Higgs, Bethe, and Cliff finished cooking together. Seeing her interact with Cliff made Higgs happy that he hadn’t just dropped her off and left. She was still hesitant, but considering she’d come to trust Higgs, it was clear she would have an easier time trusting Cliff as she saw him and Higgs interact.

They sat down to eat, and Bethe started to talk a little more to Cliff. She didn’t hold the same level of shyness that Higgs had, but she did hold some things back. Instead of revealing everything about herself, she turned some questions over on Cliff. He was of course only too happy to answer them. The only thing that wasn’t brought up was Amelie, though Bethe wouldn’t have known to ask questions about her anyways.

When the night came and Higgs put her to bed, he and Cliff talked a bit more openly in the living room. Higgs got that hug he’d needed, the one that told him he was safe and ok again, even as an adult.

“She’s strong, just like you,” Cliff gently said. “She’ll do just fine.”

The comment made Higgs smile, even as he added, “I feel like I should apologize for just making you an official babysitter now. A glorified grandfather.”

Cliff showed a soft smile. “I would be happy if that was all I was, and we didn’t have anything else to worry about. And I am happy to look out for her. Of course. Besides, it’s like the universe is balancing everything out considering I had you two boys to look after. Now I have Lou and Bethe. And occasionally Callisto.”

“Huh, didn’t think of that,” Higgs said with a small laugh. “Is there anything you want me to go out and grab before I leave tomorrow?”

“No, we should have enough here for now. You won’t leave right away, will you?”

“Probably not. But we’ll see what works best for Fragile.”

“And you know you can take my bed if you want.”

“I’m happy to take the couch,” Higgs replied. “I’m not the old man after all.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cliff replied which had Higgs really laughing. Then Cliff placed his hand against Higgs’ cheek. It was calloused and old, but still familiar and warm. Hands that had held Higgs when he was scared, had hugged him and brushed all bruises and scrapes away. “I love you so much Higgs. You know that, right?”

“I do. It’s why I knew she’d be safe with you,” replied Higgs before he hugged Cliff one last time for the night.

The next day, Higgs spent all his time with Bethe and Cliff. He knew Cliff would be a good caregiver for her, but he still wanted to make sure she was comfortable before he left. When Fragile came to get him, Bethe was still a little mystified by her abilities.

“So since I’ve walked from Port Knot to here, you could jump me over there if needed?” she asked.

“As long as you can picture it in your mind, yes,” smiled Fragile. “Cliff, anything you need from us before we leave?”

“No, thank you for your help as always Fragile.”

“Until next time then. Higgs?”

Before going to Fragile, he hugged Bethe one last time, making sure to promise he’d visit soon. Then he and Fragile held each other’s shoulders and he asked, “Where too?”

“The wind farm.”

“Fragile—”

“A joke,” she laughed.

“It’s a crap joke.”

“The west distribution center. Near Capital Knot.”

“Better,” he grumbled.

They closed their eyes at the same time, pressing their foreheads together. Higgs pulled up the image and—

Fragile followed quickly after. Higgs double checked everything was in place as he asked, “Why here?”

“Because it’s to be the first connection. Sam is walking this way as we speak.”

Higgs frowned. “You mean the chiral network?”

She nodded. “We tried once while you were gone. It didn’t hold. The twins say it will this time.”

“And when it does?”

“Then we can slowly begin the journey of connecting the continent.”

“I’m guessing you can’t just jump us to every center and prepper and have it done by tomorrow?”

“Not how it works. We tried jumping the q-pid straight here as well. It also did not take.”

“Of course not,” grumbled Higgs. “But I’m guessing this won’t just be our primary mission now, right?”

“No, the deliveries come first. But I do plan to have you and Sam gradually move west, connecting those that wish.”

“And what next? Just wait to see what the hell the president will try and use it for?”

“Essentially.”

“I really fucking hate not knowing,” sighed Higgs.

“I do to. If it was not for the twins, I would not have my company used for Bridges like this either.”

Higgs nodded in agreement. The goal was a good one. It could end up helping people greatly. But that didn’t make the unknowns any easier. He looked over, “Can you tell where Sam is?”

“Passing through BT territory I believe. Once he is clear of that, I can jump us over so we finish the journey together.”

“Let’s do that. Better than just standing and waiting around.”

Fragile nodded in agreement. They waited a bit before finally jumping to Sam’s location to finish the first knot within the chiral network.


	25. A Knot with Fragile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we're finally coming up on the end of this story as we near the final stretch of the last part! I'm excited to really get to writing some scenes I've had planned since the beginning, but knew I would have to write a lot of build up in order to get here. Thank you again for everyone who has stuck around for so long as we finally start to near the end. It really means a lot.
> 
> Also for those interested, I made another playlist that I think will really fit these final few chapters :D https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6YUB6mgv8CbQ6Ld0gAeHuo?si=cNE2uVQ5T3umGQM_TkV3XA

Higgs quickly moved back. His feet shifted. He barely dodged the punch before his stance stabilized and he struck. Black tar wrapped around the waist. It pulled away from Higgs just as he felt arms practically materialize around his neck. He grabbed a shoulder. His feet shifted again as he pulled and flipped the person forward.

Fragile hit the mat hard with a large gasp escaping her throat.

Sam was already getting up on the other side. The tar that had wrapped around him was gone now. He shook his head as his now lose hair fell in front of his face.

“Ha. Told you,” grinned Higgs. He leaned on his knees for a second to catch his breath. The quipu had slipped out so Higgs tucked it back under before he straightened his back. He started to walk by Fragile only for her to trip him. He barely managed to catch himself, landing safely on the mat rather than getting the wind knocked out of him. “Hey!”

“You didn’t say we were done yet,” Fragile responded as they started to struggle again.

“Sam!”

“Break time,” Sam replied. He didn’t even glance back as he grabbed his water.

Higgs would have groaned. He didn’t get a chance though as he had to block a back handed fist from Fragile. They moved quickly, mostly without fully getting up. Eventually, Higgs’ weight had her pinned, but Fragile’s grip around his neck showed she still had some control.

“I win.”

“Like hell you do. Draw,” defended Higgs.

She thought about it for a second. “I can live with a draw.” She loosened her grip.

Higgs immediately went for a strike with his elbow as Fragile managed to get a leg lose. As Higgs’ elbow would have struck Fragile’s side, her heel would have gotten Higgs. They both stopped before hitting each other.

“I thought you said draw,” Fragile said into Higgs’ ear.

“Like you weren’t the one to agree to it.” However, this time they let go. Higgs rolled off her and they both quickly stood up. They hesitated for a second to see if the other would try another cheap shot before they finally let their muscles ease at the same time.

Fragile grabbed the hem of her tank top, wiping the sweat from her face as she and Higgs made their way to join Sam. She commented on his use of his abilities, saying, “I didn’t think you recharged already.”

“I haven’t.”

She gave a glance Sam’s way. He just shrugged.

“I’m serious,” Higgs repeated.

“I believe you. But that questions what’s changed. Why wouldn’t you need to recharge now?”

“No idea.”

“Does anything feel different?”

Higgs had to pause to think about it. “The access feels more open,” he finally said. “Usually what I have access to keeps restricting until I don’t have DOOMS again. Lately that door hasn’t been getting smaller. Otherwise, it’s still the same abilities. At least as far as I know. But I don’t really understand why it’s changed now.”

“Maybe it’s stabilizing?” asked Sam.

As Fragile refreshed herself, she said, “You could have the twins check on that.”

Sam made a grunt in agreement.

“Maybe, but it’s not exactly the biggest priority. Besides, I’ve been able to use it regularly rather than timing it. That’s useful.”

“Yes. I would just like to understand why it has changed,” Fragile admitted.

“When I have time to sit down and go through a bunch of experiments to see about that, maybe then. But no reason to waste Lockne and Målingen’s time when nothing could come of it anyways. And we still have the mission to focus on.”

“I can do it by myself for a while,” Sam said with another shrug. “Only takes one to carry the q-pid.”

“Maybe. We’ll see,” Higgs replied. He took a deep drink from his water. Fragile stole it. Higgs stole it back a few seconds later after she was finished. “We’ve got the east good and set up, now for the Midwest.”

“We have to go back to that one prepper,” Sam reminded him. “She changed her mind.”

“Shit, do we really have to? The BTs never let up over there.”

“She changed her mind,” repeated Sam.

“We don’t get their often enough. Take the opportunity to deliver to that area,” Fragile replied. “The ship will hold until you return. Then Port Knot and Lake Knot will finally be connected.”

It had taken several weeks to fully connect the areas on the east side. The centers involved with Bridges obviously agreed to the connection without an issue. However, not every prepper agreed right away, or they gave a half measure, connecting but not sharing their own resources with the chiral network. It didn’t make sense to wait around and try to convince everyone to put complete faith in it. However, leaving the area knowing everyone was at least partially connected was a far better outcome than they had hoped.

The work on the chiral network was also proving fruitful, not just to the people they delivered too, but also to porters as well. It was coming along nicely. More importantly, the chiral network was holding. They all tried to stay aware of anything going on with the chiral network too, but the president and Amelie hadn’t shown themselves yet. Even Målingen and Lockne had continued to listen in on every Bridges conversation they could. Cliff had searched for Amelie on the Beach too during a number of occasions.

But so far nothing.

For Fragile, Higgs, and Sam, that meant they just had to keep continuing with the deliveries. However, moments like now at least gave them a break. There was no point in letting opportunities go to waste, so it wasn’t surprising that they’d ended up sparring. They didn’t exactly need it to stay in shape, but it was good to practice any form of self-defense and to constantly try and improve on their own techniques.

“Once Lake Knot is connected, continue moving as you have. I would suggest aiming for South Knot first, then Middle Knot as you go around the mountains, but it’s your call,” Fragile continued. “I may be unavailable for some time.”

“What for?” asked Sam.

“I’m going to try and get Edge Knot City on my own personal chiral reader. And to finally include it within Fragile Express.”

“You’re going with backup, right?” asked Higgs.

“If any can be spared. Yes.”

“Oh no no.” Higgs got in her face and shook his finger. “You aren’t pulling that shit. If you’re worried about backup, wait until we connect Middle Knot and we’ll come with. Kill two birds with one stone.”

“It took us over a month to properly connect this area. Considering the number of preppers on the other side of ground zero, there is no telling how long it will take for you to make it to Mountain Knot.” Higgs tried to argue but this time it was Fragile shushing him. “Nope. Ah! Hmm? No. Nope, do not try it Higgs. Even if you aimed only for the cities, they are too far from each other for a connection to hold stable without preppers in between. It will take time.”

“And you still can’t wait?” grumbled Higgs. “Fine, you know what? Sam can do the chiral network on his own. I’ll come with you if you really don’t want to force anyone out that way.”

Fragile looked to Sam. He just shrugged. “You actually agree with this?”

He shrugged again. “I’m going over areas I’ve seen a hundred times now. You’re going into the unknown. Best to have backup.”

“Besides, why go to Edge Knot now?” asked Higgs. “You didn’t want to risk it before. Even with the possibly untapped customers and resources out that way.”

“The mountains block communication to that side, yes. All information we gather of mule or terrorist organizations in that area is significantly delayed due to the lack of movement from porters, Bridges or loners. I would still rather not go there if it were a possibility.”

“So why the hell do it?”

“The q-pid,” interrupted Sam.

Higgs frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense. You going first doesn’t help. We already know that if you jumped the q-pid to a new spot, it wouldn’t work. It needs its own trail to follow.”

“No, think about it,” Sam replied. “The q-pid is meant to connect everything. Eventually we’d be going all the way west. And if we refused, then Bridges would likely step over Målingen and Lockne’s decision and have one of theirs finish the job.”

“And we still don’t know what the hell is going on with this,” sighed Higgs as he caught on. “So us being the ones to connect it is important. And you want to do reconnaissance so you can have our back when the q-pid finally has to go that way.”

“Well when you put it like that, it sounds like I almost like you,” Fragile smirked.

Higgs rolled his eyes. He shoved her. She shoved back.

“It’s a good idea,” Sam said before they could get into it. “But makes more sense if Higgs goes with you.”

“Maybe so, but you’re willing to continue connecting the areas alone?” asked Fragile.

“Not like I haven’t done it before. And you’re going into the unknown. The risk outweighs the known around here.”

“See?” Higgs said. “So, unless you get someone else to go with you, I’m going. And let’s face it, our people would agree in a heartbeat, but you don’t want to put them in an unnecessarily risky situation. Considering part of your reason to go out west is because of our family, the risk won’t be unnecessary for me.”

Fragile let out a small sigh. “Why must you use logic when it is most pertinent?”

“Are you saying I’m stupid the other half of the time?”

“Considering how often I must save you—”

“Oh, I think you mean I save you darling—”

“I think—”

Higgs and Fragile were easily getting into it, but Sam wasn’t really focusing on the content of their words. His mind was elsewhere and after a moment, his voice broke through their playful arguing. “Do you regret meeting us?”

It successfully had them both stopping. As the words registered with Higgs, he scoffed. “Why the hell would she regret meeting us? We’re a delight.”

It was Sam’s turn to roll his eyes. He focused back on Fragile. “Well?”

“No, I don’t think I do,” she murmured after a moment. “You both have severely complicated my life since we first met—”

“You’re welcome.”

She hit Higgs for that. “But besides the obvious usefulness you contributed to this company’s movement into the Middle and Mountain Knot regions, and the usefulness of any with DOOMS abilities, I would rather be in the know than in the dark. Yes, I have changed initial plans and how I may have operated due to being aware of this unknown threat, but knowing even a little is better than not in my opinion. And I am thankful you have included me in this.”

Sam gave a small, solemn nod.

Higgs, unsurprisingly, made a joke out of it. “You just like having friends your own age. Admit it.”

“Your company is the last reason I keep you around.”

“Oh, I am going to make you eat your words. Round two, come on.”

Fragile shook her head with a small smirk. “I need to finish preparations for the journey to Edge Knot. Especially if you are to come with.”

“What should we do until you get back?” asked Sam.

“I shouldn’t be long. Finish the connection with the last prepper here. Begin the journey to Lake Knot and I will meet you there.”

Sam nodded.

“You just don’t want to risk losing again, huh?”

“Didn’t lose. It was a draw,” replied Fragile with a small grin. “I will see you later.”

She took out her umbrella and left for the time being.

Fragile was productive. She knew the trip to Edge Knot would likely take two months, maybe longer even if they weren’t able to make a straight shot for the city. She needed to make sure that the cogs in her company would run smoothly during that time, even without her immediate guidance. However, she really didn’t need to worry. Being so critical in general really paid off in times like this. She could trust the men and women under her. People would continue to be helped and no section would just fall apart.

The main worry would be if a group got ambushed by terrorists. However, she had to hope the others would fill in the gaps if they suffered a major loss. She could try to split her attention between journeying on foot and checking back on her people. But what help she could have given to her people would have been lack luster, and the journey would have taken even longer because of it. Best to ensure everything was in place and to focus on the journey ahead of her.

Fragile went to every group. She saw almost every employee of hers. She even made sure extra equipment would be processed and stored for them in Middle Knot, the place where they would begin the journey. Before she finally went to Port Knot to meet with Higgs and Sam though, she stopped in South Knot. It was where the last group of employees were. The reason they were the last group for Fragile wasn’t because they were special in any way. It was because there was one last activity she wished to do in South Knot before leaving.

It was to see Målingen. Fragile had already told her of the planned journey. But one last social visit would do her good before beginning it. As she commented on the new addition of Higgs though, Målingen sighed in relief.

“I thought you had complete faith,” Fragile said as she leaned against Målingen’s worktable.

“Still doesn’t hurt to have backup,” sighed Målingen. “I’d rather none of you head that way though.”

“And risk losing valuable information on Amelie? You know we don’t have a choice.”

“I know. I just wish I knew what the hell she wanted to use our invention for. What information is she looking for? Or is it more about the collective power of the chiral network? Will that power something we don’t know about? We’ve already run circles trying to discover what it could be. And Lockne’s already driving her partner crazy talking about it.”

“Must run in the family. You about drove me crazy last time I came.”

Målingen gave her a pointed look. “You say that like you don’t barely take a break from your own work.”

“We are career driven,” Fragile said with a small smile.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t have a break once in a while.”

“You are only saying that because I am the one breaking. You are still working.”

“It’s a hobby.”

“Work is not also a hobby,” argued Fragile. She took Målingen’s chair, forcibly moving her back and around. Fragile stayed there. Her arms kept Målingen from going back to her work but also from getting up. “The plan is for I and Higgs to go to Mountain Knot tomorrow. We’ll begin there. But I would like one last, calm night before that long journey.”

Målingen finally relaxed. Her eyes stopped being drawn to the tools and she instead focused on Fragile. She managed to pick out the unspoken comment Fragile had meant. She wanted one last distraction before going. Målingen’s face softened as she adjusted her glasses. “You weren’t as worried about this journey when you were going alone.”

“I’m not worried. I simply know Higgs will try my patience and I shall have to fight the urge to leave him there and come back to familiar grounds.”

“Uh huh. I’d like to think I’ve grown to understand you better than most. You will risk your life without hesitating. Risking someone else’s though is something you actively try to avoid. You don’t want Higgs to get hurt.”

“Because I would lose my second and third best porter in one go,” defended Fragile. “Sam would kill me.”

“He wouldn’t hate you nearly as much as you would hate yourself if something actually happened. You can just admit you care about Higgs. Everyone knows.”

“Yes, and Higgs knows. He likes to throw it in my face as much as he can. It isn’t like some secret. I acknowledge he is my friend.”

“Of course he is. But there is more between you and Higgs than anyone else. Even Sam.”

Fragile made a motion, acknowledging that Målingen wasn’t exactly wrong. Målingen reached over and took Fragile’s hand. She held it warmly in both her own before kissing it gently. “Even me. You and Higgs share something we don’t. A uniqueness of DOOMS. Abilities that compliment, cross over, and yet somehow still lie parallel to each other.”

“And that doesn’t make you jealous?” teased Fragile.

“Are you jealous of Lockne?” Målingen replied. “No. You can’t help what you naturally are. Or who you naturally connect with. If something did happen to Higgs, it would hurt us all in different ways. For you, I imagine it would be the closest thing you could feel to losing a sibling without ever having a blood related one.”

“A sibling? Please do not tell Higgs. I imagine it would boost his pride and ego to a ridiculous amount.”

“Oh, he would tease to no end,” laughed Målingen. “But I think he would honestly be humbled if anything.”

“You think? Even with the founding of his new family?”

“You can have more than one sibling. And considering how different both the relationships are, I don’t think they can quite be quantified against each other. That’s even considering we think of your relationship as sibling like or the fact that Higgs calls her his sister. He still really cares about you. Otherwise he wouldn’t tease you as much as he does.”

“Is that the reason for it?” Fragile said with a light chuckle. “Perhaps. I suppose the point is, I wish I had lied about the plan.”

“Then Sam and Higgs would have been upset upon finding out.”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t be worrying about Higgs joining me. He may be the older one, but besides a friend, I am also his employer.”

Målingen’s eyebrow arched. “I thought you referred to each other as partners now.”

“It does not change the fact that they would not be here if I had not convinced them to join. Or at least not in these exact situations. That makes them my responsibility.”

“You’re right. You support them a great deal. Without you, they would be in a mountain of trouble by this point in their lives. And you would be in a moderate amount of trouble without them at your side.”

“I am glad you can acknowledge the maturity I hold over them.”

“I did say I’d come to know you better,” Målingen said with another light smile.

Finally, they bridged the gap. Fragile’s grip never tightened enough to hurt, but it stayed firm. It kept Målingen there as her nose scrunched up, pressed hard against Målingen’s cheek.

“I hate how you do that,” Målingen whispered as their lips parted. Still, their faces stayed pressed against each other, neither choosing to be the first to move away.

Fragile didn’t have to ask what she meant. She simply murmured, “We live in unpredictable times. Knowing that I can draw up your face should I wish to see it in a final moment brings me more comfort than you can know.”

“I feel really lucky when you say things like that,” sighed Målingen.

“You should. I would argue you could not find better than me.”

“Now I worry Higgs is rubbing off on you.”

“That is the cruelest thing you could have spoken.”

They both laughed though. Målingen pushed herself up and hugged Fragile tight. “You’ll make it through the journey. I know it. And it is good that Higgs is going with you, even if your reasons for wishing him to stay behind are understandable.”

“I know. I do,” sighed Fragile. It didn’t help that Higgs’ DOOMS stabilizing also had her worrying for a completely different reason. However, she didn’t bring it up for the moment. There wouldn’t have been time for Målingen to do anything anyways and she would leave it to Higgs to decide if he wanted to play lab rat for them again.

Instead, Fragile just tried her best to relax as she finally dragged Målingen away from her lab.

The next day, Fragile met up with Higgs and Sam in Port Knot. She let them say goodbye before Sam and a few others boarded the ship. As it set sail for Lake Knot, Higgs asked if he could say a quick goodbye to Bethe. Of course Fragile couldn’t say no to that, especially since she’d used a whole night for herself to say goodbye to Målingen.

The day was early when they arrived in Cliff’s home. Unlike Higgs though, Bethe had not inherited the habit of sleeping in. She was already up with Cliff and Lou in the kitchen. Fragile gave Cliff the rundown. Thankfully, he understood the logic behind it. He didn’t argue and simply wished them a safe journey, even though Fragile was sure he still held the parental instinct to ask them to not go.

As she spoke with Cliff, Higgs hugged Bethe. She asked, “So this means we won’t see each other for even longer?”

“Sadly,” sighed Higgs. “But the goal is to get to Edge Knot for now. Not connect with every prepper along the way. We’ll still help those who need it, but we won’t stay longer than we need to. And the moment we’re at Edge Knot, we can jump right back to this side of the map. Understand?”

She nodded.

“But Sam will probably be by at some point. He has to connect up Middle Knot after all. So you’ll see him.”

That had Bethe smiling. “I do like Sam.”

“I’m glad you do. Now, make sure you’re still keeping Cliff on his toes. Huh? I’m sure chasing after another troublemaker helps his exercise routine.”

“I’m not a troublemaker!” defended Bethe just as Cliff gave Higgs a pointed look and said, “I heard that.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” laughed Higgs as he walked over to say goodbye to Lou. He nudged Fragile. “Hey, make sure you say goodbye to the kid too.”

“Of course.” She turned a kind smile towards Lou. All were still uncertain about her future, and yet it already felt so natural having her at Cliff’s side. Lou gave them both a small little wave as they said goodbye.

The short visit ended with more hugs from Bethe and then Cliff. After that, Higgs stepped to Fragile’s side again and they jumped to Mountain Knot.

They of course had connections with preppers up in the mountains. Some would have even conveniently been on the way if they’d jumped there. However, those locations didn’t hold enough materials to fabricate everything they would need for their long journey. They would work well as temporary stops to load up on smaller supplies. But they wouldn’t have been able to supply them for the start of their journey.

Because of that, they landed in Mountain Knot and it was Lockne and Callisto who saw them off with Fragile’s requested material already set up and ready.

“I’m glad you’re not going it alone,” Lockne admitted. “I didn’t think it was right you weren’t planning on having at least one companion join you over the mountains.”

“You and Målingen both,” sighed Fragile. “But having a companion should not hurt. No. If only he were a little quieter.”

“And you would have preferred walking miles with nothing but the voices in your head?” laughed Higgs. “I don’t think so. One week in and you would have been begging for my company.”

“Instead, I am dreading it.”

“Stop, the both of you,” Lockne sighed. Callisto laughed from her arms. Lockne managed to keep her daughter balanced as she gently shoved Higgs. “You can start up the banter when you’re already heading up the mountains. Just make sure you keep your feet moving.”

“We’ll be back before you know it,” agreed Higgs. “Straight through and then straight back. We’ll even jump by so you know the moment we’re done.”

Callisto cheered in excitement. She just always liked the moments when people disappeared and reappeared around her considering she still hadn’t fully grasped the concept of jumping yet.

“We’ll stay focused,” Fragile said. Even with Higgs’ jokes, she knew he agreed. They both would want to return to what and who they respectively considered home as quickly as possible.

“Best of luck then. And stay safe. Say bye Callisto. It’ll be a while before you see your uncle and aunt again.”

That made Callisto pout, but only for half a second before Higgs and Fragile showered her in affection. Then they started to gear up. They said their goodbyes to both of them and headed out of the center of Mountain Knot. It wasn’t long before they hit snow. Though both expressed their irritation in different ways, they kept it to a minimum, even Higgs. It wasn’t like they could do much about it. They would simply have to push through the extensive snow until they were finally over the mountain pass.

Higgs started up talking at first. Even with Fragile’s comments, he knew when he was actually irritating her and when it was just playful banter, like with Sam. However, once the snow became thicker and it became harder to move through, even Higgs stopped talking quite as much to conserve energy.

Up in the mountains, they completed deliveries that were directly in their way. They were headed there anyways and stopping at certain preppers was beneficial to pick up some new anvils or ladders for their journey. However, the focus was mainly on actively moving over and westward.

Several days passed and before they finally got out of the snow, they made one final stop. It wasn’t planned, nor with a prepper in their network. However, the increasing blizzard practically necessitated it.

They both made it down the cliff side and up to the house. It was striking against its backdrop, especially considering every shelter was a prepper’s shelter up in the mountains. The only reason neither of them were completely shocked were because they had heard of the reclusive scientist that worked for Bridges. Just they personally, nor any of their workers, had delivered to him.

“God, what was his fucking name?” groaned Higgs. “I think Lockne once mentioned sending information back and forth with him.”

“I cannot recall,” Fragile sighed. Her eyes tried to note any encroaching dangers, but only the thick snow seemed to currently threaten them. At least BTs hadn’t formed yet despite the blizzard conditions.

“Think he’ll let us crash? At least in the hall of is fucking fancy house?”

“We can only find out one way,” Fragile replied as they finished their slow decent. They managed to get through the detectors set up around the home. However, neither could hear the standard greeting and announcement that all weapons would be locked down over the sound of the wind.

Thankfully, the doors did open for them despite how they didn’t have any packages to hand out. The doors closed and Higgs immediately shook the snow off himself. The flakes began to melt against the much warmer floor.

Fragile was still glancing around when the terminal came on despite how they hadn’t activated it on their end. A hologram flickered to life.

“Well this is a surprise. I didn’t know I should be expecting anything.”

“Uh…still not. Actually,” Higgs said.

“We were just trying to take shelter from the storm,” Fragile replied. “I understand you may not be familiar with us, but we would be grateful if we could at least—”

“Oh no. My system picked up your identifiers. You’re part of that other company, Fragile Express. Yes?”

“That’s her,” Higgs said as he nudged Fragile. She rolled her eyes at the way he’d put it.

“Then you are the one? The Fragile?” the man asked with a somewhat excited expression.

“Yes,” she admitted. Higgs snickered behind her. She elbowed him hard.

“Well this is quite a chance. I must say I would hate for it to go to waste.”

“Well there is the issue of the storm—” Fragile began but the man excitedly continued.

“Oh please. Yes, of course you can stay the few hours before it clears up. Though I must confess it doesn’t get much clearer up here.”

“As long as we can get to a point where we can see twenty feet in front of us, that’s fine with me,” Higgs said.

“Excellent. Yes, this is wonderful. You may set your gear here if you like. Please, do come in.”

A door slid open down the hallway as the hologram disappeared. Higgs and Fragile leaned back to get a better glance before looking to each other. Higgs shrugged.

“I mean, it could turn out the guy is a looney and that’s why he’s hiding up here, but I think we could both easily take him if it comes to that.”

Fragile just rolled her eyes but began putting most of her gear down anyways. She led the way and they both walked into a peculiar room with padded flooring. It was hard not to be distracted by everything that was there, but eventually their eyes met the man’s as he spoke up again.

“It is a pleasure to meet you both. Simply Fragile, is it? I have heard about you. The Bridges porters that do manage to make it here have expressed their impressions of your business, and of course Lockne has touched upon her past contact with you.”

“Really?” questioned Fragile. She slowly walked forward as Higgs continued to look at the items within the room.

“Yes. She is a remarkable woman. I would love to have a more in depth discussion with her, in real time of course, but signals are not so effective at this height. She understandably can’t take time to simply walk here to visit me, and well, my own condition keeps me from visiting others either.” He tapped the device on his chest at that point.

Fragile asked, “And you would be—”

“Oh, I suppose the most accurate one at the moment is Heartman. It is what Lockne and all of Bridges know me by anyways,” he said with a bittersweet smile. He reached out and Fragile shook his hand. Higgs finally walked closer and Heartman asked, “You work with Fragile Express as well I take it? My scanners detected you were an employee too.”

“Higgs,” he said as he offered his own hand.

_Two minutes until cardiac arrest. Please proceed to a safe location._

Higgs frowned at the odd, robotic announcement. “That something we should be worried about?”

“It is simply a part of my condition, and my research,” responded Heartman. “There isn’t much time right this second, but I’ll explain what I can. I research the Beach you see, and I do a great deal of it on location.”

Higgs’ and Fragile’s interests were both captured as Heartman explained himself. It was a sad background, like many in this world held. However, his situation felt wholly unique. His goals and techniques were impressive, even if Higgs wasn’t sure how successful they could ever actually be.

The one minute warning sounded as Heartman continued to talk and Higgs couldn’t help but ask, “Do you work with Amelie and the president too?” Considering how involved with the Beach Heartman was, it seemed logical. And maybe they could gain some information they hadn’t intended to find.

However, Heartman simply said, “No. I’ve never spoken with either personally, though I do understand they have a great investment in my work. You see, alongside trying to find my family, I am doing what I can to understand the Death Stranding. The material I need to prove my current theories is still being gathered and sent my way when it can be, but I believe the Death Stranding has occurred before.”

“Really?” asked Fragile. “Why did no one know this was coming then?”

“Oh, a number of reasons,” said Heartman as he walked back to a propped seat next to several monitors. “For one thing, I imagine your concept of time is a little off. When I say it has happened in our past, I mean hundreds upon thousands of years ago. Not simply within a few lifetimes. You see, I believe that what we once called the major extinctions within our history were actually occurrences of—”

_Administering shock in twenty seconds._

“Ah, I’ll explain a little more in a moment. I’ll be gone for just three minutes though. We can pick up after that,” Heartman said over the gradual countdown. He laid down and added, “Feel free to look around too. You may find a good conversation starter.”

_Three. Two—_

Heartman shot up. He quickly moved what looked like a chiral based hourglass at his side before hitting the back of the chair as the sound of his heart stopping could be heard.

They stood there in silence for a second before Higgs slowly let out a low whistle. “Not every day you see that.”

“Correct.”

Higgs immediately started to move around.

“You’re really going through his stuff?”

“He said we could! Besides,” in a lower voice on the off chance anything was recording them, “he could know more than he’s saying about Amelie. Or at the very least, what he knows could help us.”

Fragile relented at that. They both looked around for the following three minutes, though most of what they saw really told them more about Heartman the person than his actual work. Higgs was looking at the surprisingly accurate models of BTs when the countdown to resurrection started.

Both looked as he jolted awake, the automatic tears flowing down his face. He let out a long, slow breath before shooting them with a bittersweet smile. “Nothing still. But for now, where were we?”

He started up the previous conversation again. Surprisingly, Higgs found he had more to say on the subjects than he would have thought. He was usually so lost with Lockne and Målingen when they really got into it. However, Heartman seemed to be more concerned with gathering the historical evidence to base his current theories and science off of. And Higgs had always been partial to history.

Higgs brought up several of the myths and legends he’d read as a kid, specifically those that had struck him in similarity to the BTs and the effects of the Death Stranding. Heartman immediately beamed at him and asked for the names of all that Higgs could remember. The next twenty-one minutes passed quickly. Heartman was so invested that he didn’t go to the chair, but instead the cardiac arrest occurred while he was still standing. He hit the floor, but the padding easily cushioned his fall. It threw Higgs for a second considering they’d just been in the middle of talking.

“I don’t know how anyone gets used to this,” admitted Higgs.

“I don’t think anyone does,” Fragile replied. “Considering how excited he’s been in explaining anything and everything, I suspect this is his first real conversation he has experienced in some time.”

“True.” Then softer he added, “I just wish he knew more. I don’t think he does though. Not specifically about Amelie or the president.”

“No, we should still count ourselves as lucky for creating this connection though. He could prove useful in the future.”

Higgs nodded in agreement. They waited for the three minutes to pass and then Heartman came back to life again. They stayed for two more cycles until it looked like the storm had subsided a bit. They waited until Heartman was alive again so they could say goodbye though.

“Thank you for the shelter, and the conversation,” said Fragile.

“Thank you both for humoring me. I suspect it will be some time before we meet again.”

Higgs nodded. “If we don’t see you before, we will at least be back when we get out here with the chiral network.”

“Yes, yes Lockne has explained the process to me some. It isn’t exactly my area, but it is greatly fascinating. It will be exciting when you finally do return. I look forward to it and hope the rest of your journey goes smoothly. Fair warning, I know there are a great deal of terrorists at the base on the other side. It’s part of the reason so few porters successfully go back and forth.”

“Thank you,” they said again before finally leaving the room and going out of the house. The snow was still thick, but at least the wind wasn’t as strong, and it had stopped actively snowing.

“Interesting man,” sighed Fragile. “I do not immediately understand how his work on the Death Stranding could help us with Amelie and the presdient’s goal though.”

“Yeah, the closest thing to an answer Amelie has given is preventing extinction. Considering Heartman thinks the Death Stranding is connected to past extinctions, maybe they’re trying to stop that.”

“But the Death Stranding has already occurred.”

“Maybe. Or maybe it’s a process rather than a singular event and it’s on going. Or maybe another is coming,” Higgs said.

“That is not exactly a welcoming thought.”

“Just going off of what Heartman already told us. Still, we’ll really just have to wait and see. And it’s not like we can hang around and simply wait for his research to continue.”

“No, but at least we have both been here and may visit again if necessary,” Fragile replied. “I suspect we will need his help again before long.”

Higgs nodded in agreement. He looked around the open valley. “Now where exactly did we go down from?”

“Over there, I think. Now let us get off this mountain.”

Higgs nodded in agreement as they finally started up again. Higgs and Fragile continued through the thick snow, sometimes moving painfully slow when BTs did form. However, as their trajectory gradually went more and more downwards, the snow got easier and easier to move through. Finally, it melted away and even the sun came out again. However, with one difficulty out of their way, Heartman’s warning proved true.

They tried their best to avoid the large group of terrorists collected at the bottom. They hid in the tall grass, behind rocks, and tried to predict their movements. However, the attempts to stay undetected eventually fell through.

They’d prepared for such a situation. The weapons at their sides were drawn as they also mentally prepared to use their DOOMS to fight. But there were just so many of them.

Higgs fired at those far away. He timed it, using the tar to unbalance them as he got a clean shot to the forehead. They weren’t even trying to knock everyone out. If they could just gradually push through like they were trying, they could get to the other side and make a run for it. That was all they needed and wanted. To get by.

But then Fragile turned half a second too late.

The distraction caused Higgs to get shot through his shoulder as he watched her go down as if in slow motion. From where he was, he couldn’t tell what had hit her. He had no idea if it was fatale of had just knocked her down, but he reacted instinctively. As the terrorists fell towards them both, Higgs pulled out everything he had.

Strands fell from him, connected him to the ground and the bubbling tar that he was drawing forth all around him. Normally he guided it into what he needed. This time, he let it flow through him, gather in front of him. Chiral crystals began encrusting themselves in and around the mass as the tar grew larger and larger. Then Higgs jumped to Fragile.

He’d rarely done it in the past and Fragile had never taught him how she jumped. Since he’d never had stability with his DOOMS abilities, it had made sense not to as no one had wanted Higgs to get stuck somewhere if he tried it. Now it was less of an issue though as the power and control continued to flow through him. He grabbed Fragile. His eyes fell on the mass that he had created, that was still growing. His grip tightened around Fragile as the chiral crystals opened up in a mouth like form towards one of the terrorists.

Then he jumped them.

He used what felt natural. He kept them moving even as the explosion happened at the epicenter. When Higgs opened his eyes again, they were waiting on the very edge of the crater. He looked down and found Fragile staring back up at him.

“What did you do?”

“I…I don’t know.”

As Fragile pushed herself up into a sitting position, Higgs collapsed backwards on his ass. He let out a deep, heaving breath as he looked at what remained of the valley.

“Did you see it?” he asked.

She nodded. “Was it all you?”

“I think so.”

“Then I suppose you stopped all the terrorists in this area effective immediately.”

Higgs supposed he had. What had once been a camp with supplies and gun and people was—

Nothing. All because one person had been swallowed by a fully formed BT. A BT Higgs had created.

“I had to,” he finally whispered. He felt the tears falling down his face, heavier than usual. He wiped them away and the tar smeared across his cheeks. If he’d wasted time trying to stop it, then they could have gotten caught in the voidout rather than escaping. Or if he had fully dismantled the BT, then the terrorists could have killed them while he was focused on that. The only option had been to get him and Fragile out of their safely, regardless of the fallout.

“And then you jumped us,” Fragile slowly said.

Higgs nodded.

“Your abilities are growing. They’re even starting to completely outpace me.”

“I don’t think that’s what it is.”

“But you couldn’t do this before.”

“Because I didn’t have access to enough material to work with,” replied Higgs. “But if I had…”

Fragile shook her head. For a moment, she was still in shock and awe. Then she hit Higgs hard in the shoulder. “You could have gotten killed!”

“Ow—”

“You should have run for it! You should have protected yourself! Creating that thing could have killed you too Higgs. Then what would have been the point?”

“I couldn’t leave you behind,” replied Higgs as he rubbed the spot where she had hit him.

“You should have! You should have protected yourself first.”

“Like you would have protected yourself first if I’d been hurt?”

“I am still your employer. That is beside the point!”

“No. I’m not dealing with this hypocritical bullshit! You are my friend and I will do all I can to save you. Fuck it if it looks like the world is against me, I’m still going to try. You’d do the exact same. Is it really so bad that someone would do it for you too?”

They stared at each for a long moment of silence. Fragile dropped her head first. “I fucking hate you sometimes.”

Higgs let out a humorless snort. “And yet you have risked your life to protect mine. I’m not ever going to leave you behind Fragile. Not even for the sake of some fucking delivery. You’re more important than that.”

“But it’s because I don’t want to see you hurt—”

“Yeah, well big shocker, I don’t want to see you hurt either. Sometimes we just have to trust the person beside us and deal with the fallout. Yeah? I came with you knowing it would be dangerous. I know we could possibly die before it’s over, but I still came so that way you’d at least have someone watching your back. Our friendship outweighs the company. Treat the rest of the employees with selfless acts all you want, but you’re not doing that shit with me again. Understand?”

Instead of directly answering, Fragile replied, “You know, it’s times like this I wish I hadn’t met you.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because then I would be sparing myself the panic I feel every time I think I might lose you.”

“And separating yourself would have been better? Your company only kept being successful because it had you at the helm, and you cared about the people you were helping. Not the benefits or the power that came with it. The people and the connections were what mattered. With that comes the scary fucking feeling of losing someone you care about, but that’s better than caring about nothing but yourself, yeah?”

“I take it you are stating what you’ve thought of in regards to Sam.”

Higgs nodded. “And every person that has become a friend or part of this family since I was little. The first time I thought I’d lost Cliff, before realizing he was a repatriate, fucking crushed me. If I hadn’t had Sam to still care about, I might have thought about shutting down those connections. I didn’t ever want to go through that pain again. But if I hadn’t learned to reconnect with people-fuck! I don’t know what I’d be like now after having only my uncle as company for the longest fucking time. Cliff and Sam made me better. Connecting with people made me better. It’s been worth it, even with how much I know it’ll fucking hurt once I lose someone for real. You know that too.”

“Really now? Are you referring to when I lost my father?”

“I’m talking about when you fucking took a chance on me and Sam,” Higgs said with a roll of his eyes. “I know you’ve said it again and again, that we were useful for a number of reasons. But face it. You really just wanted someone you could connect to again beyond the boundaries of employment. You wanted a friend.”

“You say that like you understand what I was going through at that time.”

“Because I do. In a different way and I didn’t even fully understand what having a friend meant at first. But believe me, I understand Fragile. And I understand now that you care about us and far more than just employees, it can be fucking scary thinking you can’t always protect us. But that just comes with the territory of having a friend.”

Fragile let out a tired sigh. “Målingen was right.”

“She always is, but what about this time?”

“You. And that I do value our friendship. I have valued it for a great many years now even as I’ve tried to keep you safe.”

“And it’s appreciated. But you still have to have someone willing to look out for you too,” replied Higgs.

She shoved him at that, only to have him since. “Shit, you were hurt?”

“Just a gunshot through the arm. Could have been a lot worse.”

Fragile looked to the sky. Timefall didn’t seem to be encroaching on them for the moment. “Let me take care of it. Then we should start moving again.”

Higgs nodded in agreement. They got out the necessary supplies and Fragile quickly went cleaning and sewing up the wound. As she did, Higgs added, “I’m glad you’re my friend too. You know? I think you helped make me a better person too.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah, I mean I joined up because it was an opportunity. I just wanted to do something bigger and better with my life. But you really helped to show the good we were doing and that was really more important than trying to beat other companies or Bridges.”

“Now you are just trying to please me so I will no longer be upset at that reckless act.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Fragile rolled her eyes before finishing up the stitching. “Better?”

Higgs tested out moving the arm before nodding.

“We best get going then.”

They helped each other up and started to walk away from the crater. As they did, Fragile murmured, “Even if you can do that again, what you just did, perhaps we should hold off for now.”

“Yeah, probably,” agreed Higgs. “I should have controlled it better. I just saw you go down and I didn’t…I wasn’t thinking.”

She hit him in the shoulder. “I knew it.”

“Oh hush. Like you haven’t lost your head in a similar situation.”

“Yes, but I don’t have abilities that I now know for a fact can cause a voidout.”

“Fair,” sighed Higgs. “I’ll hold it back next time. And I’ll probably go see Målingen and Lockne when we go back east.”

“I think that is a good idea. Best to try and fully understand what your own connection to the other side is doing now that we know you have even greater strengths than before. You even moved me without my conscious awareness of it.”

“Yeah…I did. I didn’t really realize it in the moment either,” admitted Higgs. “But I think I could do it again.”

“Well let’s just wait a little longer until you try, yes?”

“Probably should, yeah. We should focus on finding shelter for tonight.”

Fragile nodded in agreement as the two continued onwards. By the time they found a place to rest, they were out of the mountains completely. In front of them was mostly flat land with what looked like possible ruins of old cities ahead. Now they hopefully could continue with their straight shot to Edge Knot City.

There would still be many weeks of walking ahead of them, but at least they were out of the most difficult areas and hopefully there wouldn’t be the same kind of grouping of terrorists ahead of them. For the moment, all they could do was continue the journey, though at least they had come to an understanding should they encounter danger again.

Higgs would do anything to protect those he cared about. That included Fragile and she realized she was just going to have to learn to live with that. She would do the same, and both would simply have to deal with the consequences should they find themselves in a life or death situation again.


	26. A Knot with the President

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before I get into it, wanted to say I hope everyone is doing ok and staying safe. These are very unusual times we're living in and I know for the vulnerable populations of this virus, health and economic wise, it can be especially hard. I hope you're all doing well and hopefully my story can add some distraction for you.
> 
> With that said, another quick thank you as always for leaving kudos and comments and just reading this story in general. This chapter in particular is something I've been waiting to get into since the beginning and I hope it's a good pay off. Thank you again and hope you enjoy!

Despite Cliff’s connection with Amelie, he’d focused simply on taking care of Bethe and Lou. Sometimes Callisto too. As he did so, Fragile and Higgs finished their journey to the west and returned to focus on the chiral network with Sam. It meant Cliff was out of the loop on any immediate developments with the chiral network. However, that wasn’t really an issue considering there weren’t any developments besides the gradual joining between preppers, cities, centers, and stations.

He did get a chance to hear about what the west was like when Fragile and Higgs came back. They expressed it as being far more empty than the rest of the country. Preppers weren’t as abundant and somehow the wreckages of the past were hanging on a bit more, especially in the areas around Edge Knot City. It seemed most everyone had held up in the city when Bridges had first announced the new creation of them before timefall and chiral clouds had really ruined instantaneous communication.

After explaining the majority of it, Fragile had gotten distracted with Bethe. As the child had asked Fragile more questions, Higgs had pulled Cliff away. He came clean with the harder moments of the journey. It turned out that the lack of preppers had really been replaced with terrorist encampments. The journey had been far more difficult near the end than they had initially expressed to Cliff and Bethe. Some terrorists they had avoided. Others, it hadn’t gone quite as well.

Cliff gently coaxed Higgs to tell him everything, even the parts he was ashamed of. Difficult decisions had been made. People had died. It wasn’t the first time, but there had been more in this journey. Worst of all, Higgs had felt far more responsible for the deaths. In a fire fight, both sides had a fighting chance at survival. It felt that the people they were up against already knew what they were getting into. That they’d accepted they might not make it out alive. But when Higgs had pulled forth those BTs, for him it had been like he’d ended their lives before they’d chosen the risk. It didn’t matter that they were terrorists. It was how Higgs had felt in the moment and even weeks later, retelling the story to Cliff.

It was a difficult lesson to learn. There wasn’t always a right answer. Neither could Cliff say killing was wrong in every occasion. He’d done it to keep Sam safe. He would do it again to keep his boys safe now. But it should never be the first option, and the fact that Higgs felt bad, had to think about it, was a good sign.

The first rule was that killing shouldn’t be the immediate answer. The second rule was that it should never just become easy. A man could lose himself if that happened. Thankfully, Cliff had never made it to that point, and he could tell Higgs wasn’t anywhere close to that ledge either.

Somehow, Cliff managed to comfort him. He kept his smile firmly on as he made sure Higgs knew he was always there if they needed to talk. He managed to talk Higgs through the events and make some sense of them. Cliff had only focused on the care he needed to give as a father figure in that moment. It was only at night, alone in his bed, he worried.

When Lisa had told him she was pregnant, he’d been scared. Of course he had. He’d been treading into new territory. Everything that could come, the fact that he would soon have a child whose whole future could be impacted by his choices, he’d never thought he would be more terrified of anything else. But the joy had overshadowed the fear. It had kept him afloat despite it.

Now? Now he felt he had more worries in his head as an elderly man than he’d had as a new father, and that just didn’t seem right at all.

He was worried about the warning. Amelie’s warning. How it could impact him and Sam and everyone else. He was worried about Higgs now and how his DOOMS was changing again. He was worried about the twins as they worked in a space with so many unknown variables that even they couldn’t calculate what was going to happen. He was worried for his first, official granddaughter, Callisto, and for the two girls he found himself caring for.

Every ounce of his strength would have been put forward to protecting all of them. Cliff would easily give his life to find out what was happening and to stop it, if only to keep all the children safe.

But he still didn’t know what to do.

That fact tortured him. Thankfully, Callisto and Lou were too young to ever see it, but Bethe was older. She had already seen a lot for her young age, like Higgs, and she was perceptive. It was difficult trying to make it seem like she shouldn’t be actively worried about anything when Cliff was concerned all the time.

He could only try his best. Try his best as Higgs finally went to the twins only to find nothing. His DOOMS had stabilized from a scientific perspective, just as everyone had thought, but the why was still unknown.

Cliff took care of Bethe and tried to act as the fatherly figure she always should have had. He tried to make her feel at home all while Sam, Higgs, and Fragile continued connecting the continent for the chiral network. Information started to flow again, but how that connected to the president and Amelie’s plans remained unknown.

Cliff watched out for Lou. He made sure she was taken care of and regularly resynchronized as he tried to plan how to save her from the pod. He thought of all that while Amelie refused to show up on the Beach every night he searched for her.

After being a man of action for so long only to now be completely in the dark was maddening. There’d been times he’d been forced to act first and been told the information later. But that had been in the line of duty. He’d known those moments would happen when he’d signed up. He had never expected his life as a civilian and a father to be similar.

The time passed.

The chiral network was finally completed as Sam and Higgs finished at Edge Knot with Fragile watching their backs along the way.

And still Amelie didn’t rear her head.

All Cliff could do was keep up with his new patterns. He woke up, usually cooking breakfast but sometimes using leftovers. He spent time with Bethe. He let her pick movies and took her on walks around the city, sometimes even a little outside of it so she could see the world she’d been away from for so long. He told her stories when she asked, about Higgs, the family she’d been waiting for. He told her about Sam and about himself, about before the Death Stranding had ever occurred.

He never really read out loud to her. She claimed to be too old for that. But he read out loud to Lou. Sometimes Bethe came to listen in. If Lou was sleeping, sometimes he and Bethe would read their respective books together in silence.

Cliff also took Bethe with him when he took Lou to be resynced. He’d originally told her she didn’t have to go, but her curiosity had made her insist she join. Now it had kind of lost the mystery. However, something more had been gained. Now she came because she liked to keep Lou company.

She loved Higgs, but Lou gave her another opportunity at a sibling relationship and in a different way. At first, she liked to be around Lou just because of the curiosity. But then she began to see the tiny BB as her own person as well. She wanted to one day meet her for real, and she started going with Cliff to the distribution center because she wanted to protect Lou too.

During those visits, Bethe usually brought a book now. She would sometimes tell Cliff what she was reading or they both waited in silence, just softly talking to each other until it was done.

Now they were doing such a visit again. They got to the distribution center and Cliff hooked Lou up. Bethe had already jumped onto the bed. She hadn’t brought a book this time so they probably would have made small talk while waiting on Lou, planned dinner, things like that. However, before either could say anything, a man suddenly walked into the room.

And by walking into the room, Cliff meant appearing out of thin air.

“Ah! Much better. It is so much nicer now the chiral network is running. So much more useful, and so little lag too.”

“Deadman,” Cliff politely said. The man had never appeared again, but he had sent plenty of messages about Lou’s care from what could be recorded through the machines. It made sense he would appear now when the connection would be more stable, but considering he hadn’t tried to appear at least once more besides the first time worried Cliff. This had to be important then.

“And you have another little one with you. Hello, a pleasure to meet you.”

“H-hi,” stammered Bethe. Her eyes roamed over his holographic image. “You look like you’re really here.”

“All thanks to that chiral network. Not only could I send myself, metaphorically speaking, to Edge Knot now, but they can send information back to me with almost instantaneously. It truly is remarkable.”

Bethe nodded in understanding. Cliff could already see the wheels in her head turning. She clearly wanted to ask questions but was kind enough to stay quiet. Cliff hadn’t told her a lot about Deadman, mainly because he didn’t know a lot about the man himself. But Bethe understood he was important within Bridges. She had already come to conclusion that Deadman wasn’t here for a social chat.

“What do you want?” asked Cliff. He didn’t need Deadman to go on a tangent like before or like he did in his messages.

“Right to the point as always,” Deadman said with a small smile. He walked over. Even knowing he was a hologram, Cliff felt he was a little too close and leaned back. “It is time for that promise Clifford Unger. The president requests an audience with you.”

“And she can’t speak as you are now?” asked Cliff.

“The content of such is more meant for an in-person conversation. And shouldn’t be said in front of such young ears,” Deadman added as he shot a look at Bethe.

Cliff let out a tired sigh. “What’s the content?”

“That is between you and the president,” Deadman replied.

So what? He was supposed to just go all the way to Capital Knot City now? Cliff tiredly rubbed his face. And one glance Bethe’s way showed she clearly had even more questions for him now. He would have to explain so much. But he couldn’t just walk all the way with two children. Who would watch them? Sam and Higgs? They had work to do. Fragile needed them. But he couldn’t just leave Bethe alone with Lou for weeks if not more. She was capable, but still a child. He couldn’t put her with one of the twins either since she hadn’t been to Mountain or South Knot City, and pulling the twins away from their work for so long probably wouldn’t have been possible either.

“I can’t,” Cliff tried.

“A deal was made Clifford Unger, and the president cannot be ignored.”

“If she needs to talk, we can do it like this.”

“No. No, I can admit this would be easier, but this does not ensure the same kind of security she wishes for. Now, the president predicted you wouldn’t like this arraignment despite the promise you made. Because of that, she has given me permission to use…rather unsavory measures to get you to.”

The way Deadman said it seemed to hint that he didn’t approve of the methods, but that he would follow the president’s orders. Of course, there wasn’t anything Deadman could physically do himself, but he could send an order to this building. Bridges soldiers that were physically there could come and—

And what?

Cliff instinctively reached over and pulled Bethe close to him as he also stepped in front of Lou. Bethe worriedly looked up. She was easily picking up that she should probably start worrying now. But Deadman didn’t immediately sound out some order. A warning didn’t start to blare in their ears as Bridges men ran down the hallway. He just kept talking.

“However, it was discovered there might be a simpler way to convince you.”

Before Cliff could ask what that was, a second hologram came to life. Cliff was still wary of Deadman and the president. Nothing could change that at this moment. But the face he saw was one he trusted instantly. After everything he had risked. After what he had done for Cliff and his family.

And then every memory before that.

As comrades. As friends. On the battlefield together, pulling this man’s ass out of the line of fire when he’d still been young and cocky.

Cliff had believed him when he’d said he hadn’t known it was Cliff’s family. Lisa. Despite everything, he had put his trust in the man before and he did so again.

Cliff stepped forward. He knew the man wouldn’t do wrong by him, which meant he wouldn’t do wrong by his family. He would make sure Bethe and Lou weren’t harmed, if only for the fact that they were in Cliff’s care. It brought a sense of relief. Even with everything going on, Cliff couldn’t help the smile that came across his face.

“You got old John.”

“Not as much as you did sir.”

“Still not your commanding officer anymore.”

“Of course…Cliff.”

There was an urge to step closer. John represented so much to him. Not just of a past life that wasn’t viable anymore, but a friend that he’d missed for years despite how separating had been the only way. He could tell John felt the same, but he was just a hologram and hundreds of miles away.

John almost looked like he wanted to say more. He glanced at Deadman though and his lips fell into a hard line. He closed his eyes for a moment and then added, “You’re needed in Capital Knot Cliff. I wish there was another option, but there isn’t.”

“You can’t explain more? Because of her?” asked Cliff.

“Because I don’t know what it is about either, even with being the Director of Bridges,” John sighed. “But you need to come. It’s important, not just for you, but for everyone.”

Deadman had basically said the same thing. But those words coming from John made them feel different, more important. Unless…

John was just letting himself be used. Did he actually know and was just doing all he could to get Cliff there because of what Bridget had—

No. John hadn’t known before. He didn’t know now, but Cliff knew he would never let Cliff’s family come to harm again. He had risked his life saving Cliff and Sam. He wouldn’t go back on that now. John’s bond with the president was strong, but it would never erase what was shared between fellow soldiers.

Cliff knew that, but he needed to hear John say it just once. “If I came, can you promise my family will not come to harm?”

John glanced at Bethe. There were questions on his lips, but all he said was, “I may not know what’s going on Cliff, but I’ll throw myself in the line of fire before I let her harm your family again like she did before.”

Cliff nodded. So this was it then. Technically, going by what John had just said, if Cliff said no then he would have tried to stop Deadman from using any unsavory methods mentioned by the president. But even with his promise, Cliff couldn’t just throw him into the line of fire right away. It wouldn’t have been right.

Besides, this was what he’d been waiting for, wasn’t it? He’d expected Amelie to do it first, but Bridget should work just as fine. Right? He needed to find out what was going on. Sure, he’d played hard to get at first, but even if he could walk away without anyone getting hurt, he still needed this information.

Cliff resisted the urge to visibly show his exhaustion. He simply murmured, “I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

“I understand,” John replied. “Just please, try to hurry. We may not have long.”

And with that, John disappeared. Deadman stayed several seconds more. “It was good to see you again Cliff. Even if our circumstances were less than ideal. Thank you for agreeing to come.”

Then Deadman was gone too.

Bethe immediately whipped around. “You know our president! I didn’t even realize she was still a thing considering she never shows her face. I thought all that was really just parts of the old government you talked about before the Death Stranding!”

“She’s the president of jackshit, and isn’t mine.”

Bethe gave him a look.

Cliff realized he’d let his tiredness get the better of him. He quickly said, “I mean she’s…she has nothing. Bridges is what runs things. And I’m sure John is more in charge of that than whatever she’s been working on. And her use of the title is almost laughable considering the process to become president and the rules behind it have disappeared long ago.”

“But you still know her. And who’s John? You acted like friends.”

Cliff glanced to Lou. The resynchronization was basically at a hundred. He walked over and started to unhook her.

“Does Higgs know? Sam?”

Cliff looked back as he securely attached Lou to his chest plate.

“Wait, am I the only one who doesn’t know?”

He could tell how offended she was getting. Cliff bent over and put his hands on her shoulders. “You are still a child Bethe—”

She pulled back. “I’m fourteen. Nearly fifteen, and I’ve only now just gotten a real family. If something is happening with everyone, I deserve to know too.”

The words made Cliff’s heart break. He didn’t want to bring her into this. At least he’d been able to wait for Sam and Higgs to enter their late teens, early adulthood. But if everything was finally culminating to a head, then he supposed it would be safer to not keep her in the dark. Otherwise, she would probably try to find answers on her own. Cliff couldn’t risk her getting hurt because of that.

“I’ll explain at home. Not here. Come on.”

Bethe looked a little irritated at that but relented. She probably thought he would try and dance around the subject once at home. However, Cliff didn’t. She needed to know now, even if Cliff had wished to protect her from all this. He started once they were sat at the kitchen table with Lou set between them.

“To understand this, you have to understand where Sam and I came from. I wasn’t always a porter.”

Cliff explained what he could. He didn’t say every little detail, especially those which could have given her nightmares. He tried to curb her curiosity though, and it seemed he’d successfully done that at the end. Her eyes stared at him, wide and open.

Silence followed for a long time before she finally whispered, “I almost wish I’d stayed with daddy.”

Cliff instinctively reached forward. “Bethe…”

“Sorry! It was a joke. A really crappy joke now that I’m thinking about it,” she sighed. “Just…you’re all a lot more complicated than I expected.”

“I know,” sighed Cliff.

“So then we’re going to Capital Knot?” Cliff tried to speak, but she interrupted him. “I’ve already run everything in my head. And if I’m thinking about Fragile’s DOOMS in the right way, then I’d be stuck alone here while you left. I can already tell you wouldn’t want to do that, so I’m going with. It’s the best solution for everyone, right?”

Cliff rubbed his face. He tried to think of another possible solution before he answered. Maybe…maybe Målingen or Lockne could jump back and forth. Then Bridges wouldn’t get onto them for missing work. And the chiral network would allow them to access their own files—

But not the equipment they would need. And Lockne had Callisto she was taking care of plus her work. Cliff couldn’t put Bethe and Lou on her. Or put Fragile in a position where she was neglecting her company and running herself ragged moving everyone back and forth constantly.

At least they wouldn’t have to walk the entire journey. The farthest back east he had been was Port Knot, so Fragile could move them all there. That cut the travel time a great deal. Or Fragile could try and send him to Capital Knot. He could have the meeting with Bridget and be back in time for dinner. But considering he hadn’t been there in decades and it had changed immensely sense made that a risky move that Fragile might not want to take. No, best to go to Port Knot and to walk from there.

Cliff focused back on Bethe, giving her hand a comforting squeeze. “Alright, here is what we will do.”

He described the plan, and though Bethe was younger than Higgs or Sam’s first delivery, she at least had the experience of traveling with Higgs from her former home to here. She knew to be quiet, to listen. She promised to follow whatever direction Cliff gave if the journey went wrong, even if that meant to take Lou and run.

Only once everything was covered and Bethe was getting prepared for the journey did Cliff contact Fragile. She arrived several hours later.

“Apologies, I was in the middle of an order.” Her speech slowed near the end though as she took in their prepared forms. “Something has changed.”

“I’m meeting with Bridget. I’m taking Bethe and Lou with me.”

“Do you know what she will want?”

“No, only that it’s important.”

Fragile let out a small sigh. “And you need to get to Capital Knot? Would it not be simpler to send a message through the chiral network? Is that not why it was put into place?”

“I don’t know Fragile. I really don’t. I just know she won’t give me another option and any…harsher means she might use is only being held off by an old friend of mine.”

“A friend?”

“A man who helped get me and Sam out of Capital Knot in the beginning,” Cliff explained. “I know it’s doubtful you could send me straight back, but you can send us both to Port Knot. We can take the rest of the journey on our own.”

Fragile gave a slight nod. “Do you want Higgs and Sam to join you?”

“No. Hopefully it will be quick. And I’d rather not bring Sam to meet Bridget.”

She nodded again. “I’ll still give out orders for my workers in the area. Those that can, will join you. Safety in numbers.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

Fragile silently acknowledged it before asking, “Ready to go now?”

“We are.”

“Alright, everyone come here.”

First Cliff and Lou, then Bethe, and they were all in Port Knot City. Fragile appeared too and said, “If you wait just a little longer, I can have my men go with you.”

“No, we need to go as quickly as possible. That was another issue made. Apparently, it is urgent.” Whether that actually meant there was some unknown time constraint, or it was just Bridget’s way of forcing him to act quickly, Cliff didn’t know. But he would act like the warning was real for now.

“Then I’ll have some meet you at the distribution center not far from here. And I’ll make sure materials are allocated to get you a bike a little farther down after you get past the mule encampments. That will speed up the end of the journey.”

“Thank you Fragile. Take care,” Cliff said as they both hugged. “And I know my boys will argue to join us, but please, just let them focus on their work.”

“I will. Considering the warning, I would not like Sam near the president right now either. Best of luck.”

Fragile quickly disappeared again and then it was just Cliff, Bethe, and Lou. He went through the distribution center and arrived at the main floor. At the delivery terminal, he took what he would need to make the journey a little easier and to protect the children. Then they started out.

Ideally, the journey wouldn’t take longer than two weeks. And if they were able to take the bike later on, then the journey might only take about ten days. Cliff had to keep in mind Bethe was young though. She needed more time to rest her feet. Really, Cliff needed that rest to, but he pushed his body all the same. With Bethe, he occasionally carried her if she needed a break but they needed to keep going. As long as BTs weren’t near and they avoided enemy encampments, it wasn’t an issue.

Along the way, Bethe asked more detailed questions about his past, the president, and everything that was occurring. He still tried to avoid the more graphic moments, but he was honest.

At one point, she asked, “So Amelie said Sam couldn’t be in her Beach?”

“Yes.” Then Cliff thought back on the memory and what the boys had told him. “Well, no. She never said Sam’s name, but considering she was part of what happened to Sam, it makes sense.”

“Could she have meant you?”

“How do you think?”

“I don’t know. But you have history too. And she never said a name, just ‘he’. And the Beach is weird, right? Maybe she was talking to you, and Sam and Higgs at the same time. So when she said you, she meant _you_. Not Sam.”

It was certainly an idea. Cliff wasn’t sure how much weight it held. After all, every time he’d asked Amelie why Sam was in danger, she had never corrected him. Still, Cliff would gladly put the target on his own back. He would always put himself in danger if it meant keeping his boys and his family safe.

When they arrived at the lone distribution center, some of Fragile’s people were waiting there as expected. They did help with getting them past the mule infested areas over the next couple of days. On the other side, a bike had been fabricated at another building for them, and the latter part of the journey could finally pick up in pace.

There were a lot of rivers and scattered patches of water, but most were shallow enough to drive through. It was definitely preferred to the rocky cliffs and weather conditions that could affect travel in other areas of the continent. Some of those rivers even had bridges over them or that were in the process of being built. Capital Knot was probably a high trafficked area. It made sense that more tools and equipment had been left in the area than others to help porters.

With the last leg of the journey done on the bike, they managed to make it in nine days. Not the fastest, but certainly better than expected.

The last time Cliff had been in Capital Knot, the old world had still been visible everywhere. Concrete roads had still existed, cracked but usable. It seemed almost all of that was gone though, except for the ruins set within the walls of Capital Knot.

Cliff went through one of the main entrances and headed straight for the distribution center. His hood fell back once they were safe from the timefall. Cliff hesitated to see if a Bridges employee had been tasked with handling him. However, when none went forward, Cliff went over to the elevator and moved into the lower levels. He got a private room and went straight to it. He went ahead and hooked Lou back up as Bethe washed her face in the sink.

Bethe looked at her own face, making sure she’d gotten all the grime off. She asked, “Can I take a shower?”

“Wait just a little longer,” said Cliff. “I need to figure out what’s going to happen here—”

“You have finally arrived! I hope your journey wasn’t too difficult for you or the little ones.”

Cliff turned around to find Deadman there.

“This is good. Your BB needs to go through testing. Possibly reset.”

“What the hell does that mean?” asked Cliff. He automatically stepped in front of Lou even though he half expected Deadman to walk through him like that one time. However, Deadman clasped him on his shoulder instead. It caused Cliff to jolt slightly. “You’re actually here.”

“Yes. Even with how effective holograms are, it is good to speak in person. Don’t you think? Now, the president would like to see you. As you do, I will take good care of your BB.”

“She’s not leaving my sight.”

“I am sorry, but she will have to. I am only following the president’s orders.”

Cliff tried to argue, but Bethe suddenly spoke up. “I’ll watch out for her!”

“I don’t think—”

Cliff had to make a snap decision. If he wouldn’t be allowed to take Bethe or Lou with him, then better for the girls to stick together. “She stays with Lou, and Lou stays with her. It’s either that or I walk right back where I came from.”

“I assure you, Clifford Unger, the president would not allow that,” sighed Deadman.

“Then Bethe sticks with Lou,” Cliff replied. Since Deadman was physically there, he stepped closer and got into Deadman’s face. “And if either of them is harmed in any way, then I can assure you that the UCA and Bridges will not stop me from harming you. Do you understand?”

They stood there in silence for several long seconds. Then Deadman suddenly laughed. Cliff couldn’t help but lean back in surprise.

“I see now how you made your rank and kept command. It is good we have a man like you in times like these. Too many of them are gone now. Bethe and your BB will be taken care of. The Director has made sure of that.”

With that, Deadman walked past Cliff and took Lou back out of the contraption. He flipped her around, analyzing the pod before finally saying, “Lou? Why name a tool?”

“Because she’s a person,” Cliff softly replied.

Deadman looked back at the pod. “A person. Hmm? An interesting take for sure. Hmm…well, Clifford Unger, either way you will see these two again soon. We will stay here, the president promises you that. She is waiting in the center of the city.”

Cliff let out another tired sigh. He’d walked so many miles for her and yet she still couldn’t meet him for the last few steps. “She can’t come to me?”

“No. No, I am afraid she can’t do much of anything, anymore,” Deadman replied.

Cliff’s frown deepened. What did that mean? Before he could think on it more though, Bethe hurried over and hugged him. She didn’t hug him often, but she squeezed him tight now. He responded with his own hug.

“Don’t worry,” she mumbled against him. “I won’t let Lou out of my sight.”

“Thank you, Bethe. I promise I’ll be back soon.” He gently brushed her hair back. Then he made sure to wave at Lou. Her little hand waved back. “I’ll see you soon girls. Promise.”

And with that, Cliff walked out of the room. Despite how tired he was of the long journey and how his bones ached, he pushed past the pain. His pace remained quick. His fingernails dug into the palms of his hands when he had to wait on the elevator. Then he was quickly walking again, deep into the city.

Cliff could remember when the city had carried a different name. He remembered a time when there had been enough people to populate it. He couldn’t stay and reminisce though. He kept walking and finally got the only shining building out in the middle of the rubble. The large, heavy doors slid open and Cliff walked in.

The place was far larger than any distribution center Cliff had been in. It was the heart of the UCA, of Bridges. That alone twisted his stomach, even if he’d never actually been there and doubted he knew even five percent of the people around him. As no one immediately walked up, Cliff made his way to the elevator. It was on its way up so Cliff waited for it to arrive.

There was only one thing on it as it settled into place. A man. A friend.

This time they both walked forward, no longer being hundreds upon hundreds of miles apart. Cliff grabbed his shoulder and then pulled John into a tight hug.

Having him suddenly there, Cliff realized just how alone he’d felt for years.

Technically he had never been truly by himself. He’d had Sam from the very start. There had been those that had come and gone before he cemented himself in Middle Knot. Now he had what he considered his family, including the twins and Fragile, the kids. But he had lost those that he would have once considered his peers, the people who grew up in his world. Many Cliff had purposefully distanced himself from, primarily because he’d thought he’d needed to protect himself and Sam.

Even when that had seemed to no longer be an issue, Cliff had felt like it was too late for him anyways. He had enough to worry about with his family alone. He didn’t have time for those outside of it. But he had missed it. He missed having his command, comrades, soldiers, friends to count on. He’d missed John, the only one left that he knew of.

When they pulled back, the look in John’s eyes told Cliff he wasn’t alone. The way they simply held each other close, chests practically pressed against each other even when the hug eased away. And—

“A holographic projection didn’t do you justice. You really, really got old.”

Cliff managed to laugh. It felt good in these uncertain times as he pulled John into a shorter but no less heartfelt hug. “And you speak like you haven’t gone gray as well.”

“True, and yet here we are.” John looked around. “Deadman informed me you came with the two children?”

“They’re with him. He told me I couldn’t take anyone with me.”

Sadly, the momentary joy dropped. It at least didn’t disappear entirely though as John replied, “That is true. So then you have…you have a granddaughter?”

“Yes, but that wasn’t her. And my granddaughter isn’t my biological granddaughter either.”

John let out a smaller, half laugh. “I must admit to being a little confused. Is Sam—”

“He’s fine,” Cliff assured him. “More than fine. Thank you, for helping me give him a life.”

“I’d do it again if I could,” John softly said. “I wish I could meet him.”

That lifted Cliff’s heart and he added, “You may have already done so. He works with Fragile Express. As does my other boy.”

“Other boy? I remember when the thought of just one child seemed to be daunting for you. How many do you have now?”

Cliff laughed again. “It’s a long story. But I can tell you the most important moments on the way.”

“I’d be honored, Cliff.”

And so he told John as they both stepped back onto the platform and slowly headed down. Of course, John knew of Målingen and Lockne, but he was surprised of how close they were with Cliff and that it was their child that was Cliff’s named granddaughter. He spoke of Higgs and Bethe. He spoke of Lou. And he spoke of Sam and his deep connections with all of them.

A whole life couldn’t be said in just a few minutes, but Cliff did manage to touch on the lighter, more heartwarming pieces. As John’s gait seemed to slow, he said, “I’m glad after everything, you managed to find such a peaceful life.”

“Almost peaceful. What Bridget did never really left. Otherwise, I suspect I wouldn’t be here.”

John solemnly nodded as he stopped at a door. “I’m sure you’re right. Here, go in when you’re ready. She’s waiting for you.”

“So not even you are allowed in.”

“Your eyes only. That is what she said,” John replied. He placed his hand on Cliff’s shoulder, one last time. “Good luck.”

Cliff silently thanked him as John slowly removed himself before walking away. Cliff turned back to the door.

The president was just beyond there. Bridget…what would she look like now? The first image that came to mind was that horrid mask she’d always worn. And yet it had only been one of many. What mask would be there now? The cold, obvious skeleton? Or something subtler? Like how she’d acted like she had cared about what happened to Lisa and Sam, when she’d just been using them all along.

There was only one way to find out and ultimately, Cliff would have to do it all by himself. He took a deep breath and walked forward. The doors slid open and shut behind him.

Well…

He could at least say the instant rage didn’t bubble up like he’d worried. With all that she’d done to harm him, could still do, it was hard to want to throw a fist at a bed ridden cancer patient. Even this one.

Cliff slowly walked forward. By the time he stopped in front of her, she’d managed to push herself up into more of a sitting position and had removed the oxygen mask on her face. Cliff knew she was younger than him, but with no hair and sunken skin, she looked far older. Her whole body shook as she said, “You should have gotten here sooner. There isn’t much time left.”

“So, not even a hello for the man whose life you fucked over?”

“If you came all this way expecting an apology, then you’re sorely mistaken,” replied Bridget. Even in her state, she at least held onto the bite behind her words. “But you’re smarter than that. I know you are. It’s why I called you.”

Cliff stopped by her bedside. “That can’t be the only reason.”

“Like I said. Smarter,” she replied. Her breathing hitched and she eased herself back a little more. “Sit, please.”

If Cliff had been younger, he might have had an urge to continue standing simply out of spite. But they were both old souls now. Small, unimportant actions like that wouldn’t really change anything. The action wouldn’t have said anything new either. Bridget knew how and why Cliff hated her, hated Bridges and the UCA. And Cliff knew that she cared more about whatever goal she was after than his family’s harm.

So, Cliff sat as asked. Besides, it could be a long conversation and his bones were aching.

“Thank you,” Bridget sighed. “And thank you for the continued communication with my daughter. I suspect things will move more smoothly because of it.”

Cliff’s eyes narrowed. Her ‘daughter’… Whereas Amelie had always appeared to care but had answers that twisted more than a snake, Bridget didn’t seem to care. Not in a personal or emotional way. But she was practical, to the point. Even her lies had always been plane, simple, and in retrospect, easy to pick out. Perhaps being direct with her would prove more fruitful than it had ever been with Amelie. He said, “She can’t be your daughter. It just isn’t possible.”

Bridget smiled at that. “See? I knew you could read between the lines. She never was direct enough. But then, it has helped her to hide our secrets.”

“And what are those secrets?”

Bridget leaned away. Cliff waited as she picked something up on the other side of her bed. She was struggling for a moment, and Cliff almost asked if she needed help if only to hurry up the conversation. But then, with surprising speed, she moved back over and locked the device onto Cliff’s wrist. He raised it as the blue light flickered to life around his cuff.

“Really Bridget?”

“Don’t start. I’m sure you know what they are. Many, if not all, Bridges employees wear them by now.”

“I’m not your employee. Remove it.”

“You will need it. There is information and an order I need you to take to Heartman.”

Cliff recognized the name. He vaguely remembered Fragile and Higgs mentioning the scientist that had given them shelter for a few hours. The twins might have mentioned him. All Cliff said though was, “You should have asked at least ten years earlier. Maybe even fifteen. Besides, you have Bridges for that.”

“But I can’t trust them to fulfill it like I can you. You’ve seen more than they have. You know there will be a reason I am sending it.”

“And what’s the package?”

“It isn’t ready yet, but it should be in a few days. Maybe less, depending on how things go.”

That at least got Cliff’s blood boiling a little. He wasn’t her puppet to move around as she wished. “Damn it, Bridget! You can’t just use me. You can’t simply keep things from me like Amelie has done. I’m not doing anything for you.”

“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to do it for the people of this nation—”

“What nation—”

“Your family then.” Her voice never truly rose, perhaps because she couldn’t make it. But there was a stout resolution in it that certainly simulated a feeling that she was the president of something. “We hoped things would go differently, but I am out of time. We will all be out of time if it isn’t stopped.”

“You mean the chiral network? What did you even want with the twins’ project?”

“Information to stop this. The connections are good. To continue the survival of us, of the human race, we would have to learn to reconnect again anyways. We aren’t meant to live alone, far apart and in the dark. But that connection will no longer hold if we cannot stop this final act.”

“Amelie only hinted at it once. She said extinction. Was the information you were trying to gather from other scientists and groups across the region meant to understand what she was hinting at?”

“Yes.”

“Then why could she never truly explain herself?” asked Cliff.

“Can a leopard change its spots?”

Amelie…she had said that same thing to Cliff years earlier. It had been one of the first things she had said to him actually. “I am not having this argument again. A person’s own actions cannot be quantified against a genetic physicality.”

“But you are talking like our actions aren’t predetermined.”

“You chose Lisa because she was available, and you chose me because I was vulnerable and you knew I would agree to whatever you said,” Cliff harshly replied. “You chose to do what happened to Sam. What continues to happen to every BB. You don’t just get to throw away the responsibility that you had in all of it! You can’t just say it was predetermined, or fate, and claim innocence!”

“I never claimed I was.”

“Then why are you still trying the same argument Amelie tried with me decades ago?!”

“Because I’m not talking about fate. I am talking about genetics. About a thing born forth with one goal in mind. It should have been completed already. The Death Stranding, all of this? We weren’t meant to witness it. We shouldn’t even be here now. But something was added. A mutation in nature that time and the universe have so far been unable to fix. Consciousness, and it is our conscious that will save us.” Bridget’s hand shot out, grabbing Cliff’s arm. He could feel her fingernails digging into his skin and how her grip shook as she held on with all the strength she had in her frail body. Her voice started to grow more forceful, sped up, like she was trying to outrace her own final gasp of breath. “We never wanted any of this Clifford. We have been fighting against the visions in our head since day one. People have been hurt because of it, but it is the harm of the few whose sins we carry as we try to save everything. You have to go to Heartman. People have to understand what this is, what the Death Stranding is. Once you do, you have to find her. Find Amelie on the Beach before she does what can’t be taken back. Before she uses him to jumpstart this all.”

“Him? Do you mean Sam—”

“Cliff!”

And it was Amelie holding his arm so tight, her hair floating as if gravity had stopped working properly. Cliff’s own breath felt like it had been sucked out of him as he shut up.

She said, “I told you to protect him.”

And then it was Bridget again, her broken body seizing and letting go of Cliff. He immediately tried to steady her and get her into the proper position. “Help! I need help in here!” She couldn’t die now. She’d only just begun to give answers! And Amelie, the warning, all of it. She still hadn’t explained yet. She hadn’t!

Doctors began to rush in. Cliff moved back when they gave him the go ahead and they quickly took over. Cliff took several steps back until John was finally at his side. He turned to him. “She’s going to make it. Right?”

John just let out a long, slow sigh. “I told you it was imperative you get here quickly. I don’t know Cliff.”

He closed his eyes. No, this couldn’t be it. They had been getting somewhere! As he rubbed his eyes, the cuffs rubbed against his wrists. The instinct to get them off was strong, but Bridget had been insistent. There was something on there that he needed to see, and to apparently get to Heartman as well. If Bridget couldn’t give him answers, maybe the cuffs could.

“How do you work these?” asked Cliff.

Going by John’s expression, he didn’t understand why Bridget would have put them on him. But he did say, “I can show you. Not here though. Let’s move out of their way.”

Cliff nodded. They walked out and John started to guide Cliff down the hallway only for a commotion to occur in front of them. John reached for his service weapon at his side and stepped forward. Cliff looked over his shoulder. Bridges employees were moving away from a specific spot. Eventually, Cliff saw what they were looking at.

“Is that—” John started to speak as his hand went away from the weapon. However, before he could finish, Fragile finally spotted Cliff. She didn’t even waste time walking down the hallway. She jumped, appearing right in front of them. John startled a little, but Cliff immediately walked to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

“Fragile, what is it?”

She didn’t respond right away. She looked lost, uncertain—

Afraid.

Cliff had never seen her like that and had to resist the urge to shake her. “Fragile, what happened?”

Her throat seemed to close up as she tried to talk. She painfully swallowed and finally started to choke out, “It’s—”


	27. A Knot with a Vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did feel bad about the massive cliffhanger last chapter so I managed to get this chapter out extra fast. Yay! Likely will take a little longer with the next couple chapters what with work and school being so crazy but I'll try to stay as consistent as possible. After all, these last few chapters are definitely part of the collective climax and I don't want to leave any of you hanging too long. Thank you again for sticking with this and continuing to read it. It's been a blast writing it thus far.

Thanks to the chiral network being completed, information and plans could easily be sent to anyone. People who needed a blueprint could now download it and print it at their own shelters or homes. In some ways, it eased the burden on the back of porters, but some items couldn’t be so easily printed. Or they could, but a person didn’t have the necessary materials to do so. Because of that, it was clear porters would never really go away. It was just the orders that had changed a bit.

An example of that was the order Sam, Higgs, and Fragile were currently delivering. Creating medicine often required too many machines that, though any porter could create, often took up too much room. A certain level of expertise was also necessary to make sure anything created had the expected effects. Because of that, it was still far easier to just deliver it.

At the moment, it was a rather important run with time being a major factor. However, the timefall had started coming down thick and day had turned to night. The moment it started to grow a little lighter, they would have to continue the journey, regardless of the rain. For the moment though, they were taking a much needed rest.

Sam had worked hard on the chiral network while Higgs and Fragile had been away. Then even more time had passed as Sam had made the same journey Higgs and Fragile had made weeks earlier. In total, it had taken over half a year to get it completely done. Then they’d waited, to see if Amelie or the president would do anything. But no one had heard anything until now.

In fact, the whole reason Fragile had joined them on this delivery was somewhat of an apology for refusing to move them to Capital Knot City where Cliff had to be by now. Hopefully his dad could get answers there, but Sam wished he could be with his dad as he got those answers too. He’d argued with Fragile for a bit, but Higgs had backed her. That loyalty hadn’t lasted long though when Fragile added that Higgs also wouldn’t be going to Capital Knot.

He’d yelled at that. It made sense why Sam shouldn’t go, but there was no reason he was in danger, right? But Fragile had stood her ground and just disappeared on them. They’d both been irritated for different reasons, and Fragile had only returned a few days later when they were beginning to head out with the delivery they now had. Fragile had informed them that Cliff and the girls had made it past the mule encampments and would be at Capital Knot any day now.

Sam and Higgs had tried to argue again that they should go, but Fragile had refused. She’d come with though, promising that by doing so, she could jump away and back when she expected Cliff to have finally gotten some information.

Now Sam was keeping watch. Though only seeing about three feet in front of him couldn’t really be defined as keeping watch. Higgs and Fragile had fallen asleep against the packages. Higgs’s head had slumped over onto her shoulder. Sam had thought to move him back, but the ensuing argument about Higgs drooling on her would have been too funny afterwards so he left them as they were. Besides, Sam didn’t want to risk waking either of them. The moment he did, they would fight over who took next watch. Sam would try to say he was fine, but they would force him to try and sleep. He just left them alone for now.

The only noise that could be heard was the rain and Higgs’ soft snoring behind him. It was peaceful and on a clear day, the view wouldn’t have been half bad either. If not for the importance of the delivery, Sam would have liked to stay a little longer. Everything seemed to be moving so quickly now despite how still no new developments were being made. It was nice to take a break, no matter how small.

Sam let out a tired sigh. He wished he could do more. He’d thought about trying to find Amelie on his own despite his dad’s warnings. Maybe she would finally say something of importance to him. Some kind of explanation. Or maybe he would play right into her ambiguous words. It didn’t help that he had no idea what risk he would face if he did. It could be monumental. Or maybe there was no risk. He just didn’t—

The ground seemed to waver. He looked down. Small pebbles floated, just a few inches from the earth. His skin crawled, but not in a way he was familiar with. It was a kind of energy. It flowed around him, around their spot. He stayed perfectly still, afraid to act as the only thing remotely close to the feeling was an encounter with a BT.

It started to build. The breathing accelerated. Sam instinctively clamped a hand over his mouth only to realize it wasn’t himself he was hearing. Before he could recognize it, the energy seemed to explode outwards just as a scream overshadowed all other sounds. The scream was turning Sam’s blood cold, making his stomach drop and—

It was coming from behind him.

He spun around to see Fragile desperately trying to calm Higgs. His own fingernails were digging into his face, pulling at his skin as black tears fell and the crying out just wouldn’t stop.

Then Sam felt it. The new feeling was familiar, a threat that Fragile could feel and somewhat see as well. In one desperate attempt, she clamped her hand over Higgs’ mouth but still he wouldn’t stop. Sam wanted to rush over. What the hell was happening? What had Higgs seen?! But he stayed where he was and clamped his own hand over his mouth and nose.

But Higgs still wasn’t stopping so Fragile finally pushed him against the ground and put her weight on top of him. The motion seemed to make Higgs recognize where he was, but Fragile didn’t dare remove her hand just in case. She kept it over Higgs’ mouth and nose as she used her freehand to cover her own.

Their hair stood on end as they heard the wet squelches first before finally seeing the incoming handprints in the darkness. They appeared near them, along the ground and the cave walls. Sam’s eyes followed them. Fragile’s eyes watched the murky form. It started to move in between her and Higgs. She could still see him, but she could tell all Higgs could see was the BT. His eyes shook, unfocused and unable to see Fragile as the tears continued to stream down his face. Fragile could tell when a cry looked like it might come out so Fragile tightened her grip on him. Even still, she couldn’t completely stop his shaking.

Just a little longer. Oh dear god, Higgs just had to be quiet a little longer…

The BT seemed to disappear. They waited still and only finally dropped their hands when the timefall also started to let up. They all let out strangled gasps as the burning in their lungs started to fade. Higgs didn’t scream again. Instead, he started to sob. His hands came up and covered his eyes as the breathless, howling wails escaped his lips. Fragile was still on him so she could feel as the shaking wracked his entire body. Tears from the chiral allergy fell down Fragile and Sam’s face, but the black tears of tar were still flowing down Higgs’, staining his cheeks and hands in thick droplets.

Sam finally felt safe enough to move and immediately came to their side. Upon closer inspection, Sam realized Higgs had been digging into his own face so hard that there were scratch marks now. Higgs’ hands moved from covering his own eyes to covering his mouth. The sobbing became muted but didn’t stop right away as his eyes remained glazed, unfocused. He was still seeing something else as Sam turned his face to his.

“Higgs? Talk to us. _Higgs_.”

The only reason he wasn’t shouting was because of how close they’d come to being caught by BTs. The timefall was leaving, but it could return in a torrential down pour again without warning. Fragile acted similarly. Her voice was soft but still carried the confusion and desperation in it that Sam was feeling.

“What is it? Where did you go Higgs?” Fragile asked as she brushed his hair back. “Higgs?”

And then he looked at them. Finally, his eyes focused, rapidly moving between Sam and Fragile as his hands slid down to the floor—

Then the laughter began.

Somehow it was worse. Hearing the crazed cackling come from Higgs of all people had Sam’s stomach dropping. It didn’t sound like him in the slightest. Fragile hesitated, unsure whether to shut him up or let the laughter ride out. Before she could decide or comment on it, the laughter faded on its own. Higgs’ eyes were unfocused again, not staring at Fragile or Sam or even the rocky ceiling. His entire body started to go limp. He looked exhausted.

He blinked before his eyes started to close. As they did, his now hoarse voice finally spoke.

“We never stood a fucking chance.”

And with that, his body went completely limp and his eyes shut.

“Higgs? Higgs!” Fragile shook him as Sam immediately checked for a pulse. Higgs was still alive, but his heartbeat was undeniably weak. He didn’t respond at all to Fragile’s attempts. The only motion from him were the continued black tears.

Sam tried not to panic. The only way he succeeded was in shutting almost everything down. He would react later. He would freak out about this, worry about this all later. But not right now. He bottled it all up and whispered to Fragile in a steady voice. “He needs…something. A hospital? He needs to be taken now.”

Fragile quickly looked around. “Alright. Alright, we leave the order. You might be able to carry him. Or we can both try—”

“This is medicine. We can’t leave it.”

“Then what the fuck do you suggest? Even if you can carry Higgs on your own, I cannot carry all this.” Like Sam, Fragile was trying not to panic, but rather than shutting it down, it was coming out in the form of anger.

Sam didn’t let her words affect him. Just stay blank. Just stay unreactive. He would react later. He would…he would…

No, don’t even think of later. Just now, in the moment. He looked back to Fragile. “Higgs managed to move you without your conscious awareness. Maybe you can do that for him.”

“Maybe? It’s impossible! I have never done it before! Why the hell would I be able to do it now?”

“Proper motivation?”

Sam said it so blandly that it seemed to break through Fragile’s anger. Her eyes fell back to Higgs’ limp form. She didn’t yell at Sam for seemingly not caring. She knew he was acting in such a way because he cared far too much.

“Even if I can,” she said, “what of you? Do I come back—”

“No, this order has to be finished.”

“Then let me finish it with you.”

“We brought a floating carrier just in case. I’ll be fine.”

“You will be a target for terrorists and mules with this much cargo. Especially considering its contents! I could not possibly let you go alone.”

“You will.”

“Sam—”

“I don’t want Higgs to be alone,” Sam interrupted, some emotion just barely entering his speech. It was all he could allow without completely breaking under the situation. “Please. Just go with him and stay by him.”

“You say that as if it’s fact I’ll be able to move us at all.”

“You will,” replied Sam.

“How do you know? I haven’t done it before. My level of DOOMS is likely not high enough to succeed in it anyways.”

“But you will,” Sam murmured as he focused on her. “Because you have to.”

Fragile’s head dropped. She didn’t understand what was happening to Higgs, but Sam was right in some respects. She would put everything she had into helping Higgs. Whether it would work or not was another thing, but she could at least try.

Sam’s hand lingered on Higgs for only a second. There would be time for that later. Or…at least he hoped there would—

No! Just in the moment. Stay in the moment.

It was difficult convincing himself, but Sam succeeded as he moved over and started figuring out the best way to carry everything. Fragile finally moved off Higgs and pulled his head up into her lap. His body didn’t even twitch. If Sam hadn’t just checked his pulse, he might have thought Higgs was dead.

“When you get Higgs stable, if he isn’t awake yet, tell my dad what’s happened,” Sam said. “I’ll send you a message to get me when I’m done with this order.”

Fragile nodded. Her fingers carefully smoothed Higgs’ hair down as she tried to think of how she’d accomplish this. She eased her breathing and looked up for one last time. “Stay safe, Sam.”

“You too.”

She then focused on Higgs. She removed the umbrella like device. It unfolded and floated upwards as she wrapped her arms around him. Her body bent over, and she pressed her face to his. The familiar guidance that she used in order to move herself and others was pushed aside. She followed what was similar but not the same. She just had to keep searching, reaching, probing.

Higgs needed help, immediately if possible. But where to go? Perhaps trying somewhere closer would be more successful. There was South Knot. The hospital there was larger than most cities. The people were capable and Fragile knew of some of them thanks to Målingen delivering there. Alright, then Fragile needed to move herself and Higgs there.

Her grip tightened on him. They were so close and yet his heartbeat was still so difficult to detect. Fragile couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t have the last visual of Higgs be the face of a man she couldn’t even recognize.

Tears fell that were not brought on by the chiral allergy. Her fingers dug through Higgs’ clothes. Her legs shifted, allowing more room to drag Higgs closer. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t—

“Sam, it will not—” But as Fragile’s face came up, she found herself no longer looking at the small alcove they’d hidden in. Sam was gone, and instead a Bridges employee froze mid approach. Others were staring, suggesting they’d been there for some time. Her device was lying on the floor, but Fragile hadn’t heard it fall.

She breathed in deeply, forcing herself to act as the employer and not as a friend in that moment. “Get a gurney!” she barked at the nearest person. “And we need immediate medical attention now!”

Fragile only removed herself from Higgs when others were finally pulling him up. She followed, made sure he was getting the attention he needed, and only left when she was sure of what room he would be placed in.

It was then that Fragile jumped to Capital Knot.

She moved quickly. Part of it was so that she could return to Higgs all the faster. Another part was because she wasn’t acting as the employer anymore. The panic and uncertainty was returning. She was going to talk to Cliff and tell him-what? Higgs was hurting, had experienced something that Fragile couldn’t even begin to imagine, and all because of-what?

The jumping continued around the city of Capital Knot. She just needed to find Cliff. She needed to see him. Where was he? Where-there!

Fragile didn’t even bother to walk. She jumped straight forward only to choke up as the words had to come out of her mouth. She breathed deeply, controlled herself as best she could as Cliff asked again, and finally said, “It’s Higgs.”

“Higgs? What happened?”

“I don’t know. Only that it involves chiral matter and likely the Beach. He couldn’t stop crying tar,” Fragile managed to respond. She could feel Cliff’s grip tighten, watched his skin turn pale. She forced herself to explain all that she could, though that wasn’t really much. When Cliff asked about Sam, she told him where he was as well. Finally, she said, “I…I can take you to him now.”

She half expected Cliff to say yes, but he shook his head. “No, go back to him. I don’t want him to wake up alone. But I need to get back to Lou and Bethe first before I decide anything. Understand?”

Right, he had other children he was taking care of. “Alright. I’ll keep you updated.”

Cliff nodded. “I’ll contact you when I need to move, but stay with Higgs for now, please.”

She nodded again and immediately left as Cliff began to talk with the Director of Bridges at his side. Fragile made sure to appear in the same room that she’d left Higgs in. The doctors were gone now. The samples had seemingly been taken. Testing would be done elsewhere. The only person in the room was Målingen who startled at Fragile’s sudden entry. She rushed to her side immediately.

“They said you brought him in, but that you left right away. Where were you?”

“Explaining to Cliff.”

“And you said?”

“Far less than I care to admit.”

Fragile reexplained everything as she collapsed next to Higgs. Seeing him in the bright light, he looked even paler. Or maybe that had occurred after she’d left. She wasn’t sure. Next to Higgs’ head, the pillow was partially stained black from where the black tears had flowed. Someone had cleaned his face, but small stains were still underneath his eyes. The cuts that he’d caused in his own cheeks looked like they’d been cleaned too. They were shallow enough that they wouldn’t scar, but in the moment, they made Higgs look utterly ragged.

“I’m glad you’re back. I didn’t want to risk leaving him alone for when he finally woke up,” Målingen said.

“Going to run tests of your own?” asked Fragile.

“Yes, they’re set up and starting now, but I need to go keep an eye out for what results come of it. Get me the moment he wakes?”

“Of course.”

Målingen kissed Fragile as she moved to leave. She paused though, her hand lingering on Fragile’s chest. “Are you ok?”

“Whatever he experienced, I did not.”

“That’s not what I mean. You were rattled by this. Anyone would be. Are you ok?”

Fragile turned silent. Her fingers threaded between Higgs’ limp ones. “Ask me when he wakes.”

“Alright.” Målingen started to go and quickly added, “You can come grab me if you simply need someone too.”

Fragile nodded, her gaze focused on Higgs as Målingen left the room. She remained right there despite the grime from the order she had just abandoned. She rarely even got up from the chair despite how her stomach growled. She moved when the doctors came back, but she didn’t ask them what they’d found. She could tell by their eyes alone that what they were dealing with was something from the other side. Medicine wasn’t going to help Higgs in the slightest despite how Fragile had tried.

Målingen visited again and Fragile finally ate only because of her. She was gone again soon though. The readings that were slowly coming in were certainly giving her something, but deciphering the results was the issue. Målingen had no reference to go off of. If something as simple as that would have stopped her though, she never would have reached the point in life she was now at.

Because of that, she was even more motivated to understand what was occurring. After making sure Fragile had eaten a reasonable amount, she was off to her lab again.

As Fragile waited, the only thing she really focused on were the passing hours. She had an estimate of when Sam would be done with the order and she was also expecting Cliff to request her help. However, he’d been quiet, and Sam still had a fair amount of walking ahead of him before he finished. So Fragile simply waited.

She held Higgs’ hand and leaned against his bed and watched his chest barely go up or down and—

His eyes started to move underneath his eyelids. It was small, but more movement than he’d done in hours now. Was it a sign he was dreaming? Or was he on the Beach in some weird way, his body stuck here but his soul moving about? Fragile would have looked, but she honestly wasn’t sure if she could find Higgs. Even if she had, could she get out too? She had no idea what was affecting him or if it could affect her too. It wouldn’t have done any good if she suddenly went out of commission with him.

She leaned forward as his eyes continued to move. “Higgs?” she asked it softly. She wasn’t really waiting for a verbal response, just some sort of change. “Higgs, if you can follow my voice. Please. Please get up.”

When nothing happened, Fragile started to lean back into her chair with a sigh. One hand lingered on Higgs’ arm, wishing he would just—

It happened so quickly. Fragile didn’t have time to react. The chair clattered away as her back hit the floor. The instinct was to transfer herself to another location, but an unknown force stopped her. That meant all she could do was struggle. Her arms tried to come up before being forced to her sides. There was a clear physical disadvantage. So much so that she couldn’t stop the tightening around her throat. The fingers dug in hard as another hand came closer. A knife made from tar, solidified and hardened, glistened in the artificial light. Bits of chiral energy floated up and around it as golden crystals could be seen on its surface. Fragile could feel a line of blood forming and falling down her throat as she tried to cry out against the hand around her neck and the blade just barely pressed into her skin.

“H-Higgs—”

He seemed to finally register his surroundings. Whoever he’d thought he’d been choking was no longer there. The knife that had apparently been made out of thin air dropped to the ground and Higgs was off her immediately. His feet pushed him back until he suddenly hit his hospital bed with a thud.

Fragile coughed hard as she pushed herself up on shaking hands. She looked up to see Higgs covering his mouth in horror.

“I didn’t…I wasn’t here. Fragile, I wasn’t-you weren’t who I thought-I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

She coughed to try and clear her throat a little better. “It’s ok Higgs,” she croaked out. “I believe you.” She pushed herself across the room to be by his side, though she did kick the chiral knife away just in case. Going by how she was already recovering, she wouldn’t die. It hurt like hell, but she could focus on Higgs for at least the moment. He looked in shock over what he’d done, torn up over his actions.

But he was actually there. His eyes didn’t seem to stare at some unseen object, and he looked like him again. Not some crazed, unrecognizable individual, but Higgs.

Fragile tried to clear her throat again. “You should get back into bed.”

Higgs wordlessly nodded. They both helped each other up though only Fragile stayed standing. As Higgs lay back down, she could tell he was starting to go elsewhere. She snapped in front of his face, drawing his attention back to her.

“No, no you stay right here. Whatever is trying to take you, we will not let it.”

“She’s not…taking me,” whispered Higgs. “Not right now.”

“She? Who—” The only female name that could possibly fit popped into her head. “Amelie?” Higgs didn’t respond, but his expression gave her all the answer she needed. “But…but I thought it was Sam who was in danger.”

“So did I,” whispered Higgs.

Fragile could only stare. Maybe it was a ploy. Maybe this was part of the plan to get to Sam-but no. How the hell would that even work? Besides, despite only seeing one, very narrow side of the events, it felt like far too much effort had been put into doing whatever had happened to Higgs for Sam to be the real target. No, it didn’t make sense. Higgs must have been the center of the warning then! She watched as Higgs’ eyes started to glaze over again.

“Higgs! I said stay with me.”

He softly let out a hopeless sigh. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing does.”

“Why not Higgs? Why?”

He gave her a hopeless glance. He was growing numb now, but not distant. He wasn’t looking elsewhere, to the other side. It was better. But only just.

At that point, doctors came rushing in. It made sense considering Higgs had pulled or torn off the medical equipment keeping track of his condition. Fragile moved back. She picked up the chiral blade and carefully looked it over. Målingen might find some use out of it. And considering it was from the other side…

Since she couldn’t get close to Higgs as the medical professionals crowded him, she jumped to Målingen’s lab. Like she suspected, the knife stayed with her.

“Oh god! Fragile, what happened?”

“It looks worse than it really is.”

“You sure? Because your neck looks like someone tried to crush it into nothing.”

“Surface level. Really.” Already her throat was feeling better. Luckily her voice box hadn’t been damaged nor her windpipe crushed. “I came to give you this.”

“What the…” Målingen slowly took it from her. She looked it over with a critical eye. “It’s not from here.”

“No, from what I can gather, Higgs made it. Or pulled it from the Beach. Or something of that nature.”

“Then he’s-wait. He did this to you?!”

“He wasn’t aware of his surroundings yet. I think…he might have thought I was Amelie.”

“Wait, then it was never…”

“No. I don’t think it was.”

Målingen's voice shook as she murmured, “I’ll get to analyzing this then. But Higgs is awake?”

“For the most part,” sighed Fragile. “I’m going to see what I can get out of him.”

“Alright. I’ll come to you if I find anything. Actually, I’ll come soon to see Higgs anyways. But perhaps after he has a second to breath. Promise to grab me if something changes though?”

“Always,” promised Fragile.

She left quickly. The doctors were still there when she returned so she walked over to the sink. The cut that had formed was small. After the blood was cleaned away, it was barely noticeable. The bruising, not so much, but considering it could have been much worse, Fragile was just grateful. She listened in on what the doctors were saying, but it seemed they were getting even less from Higgs than she had.

Other words were thrown around.

_He’s in shock._

_Perhaps he experienced something traumatic on the other side._

But they didn’t really know what they were talking about. Half of what they came up with Fragile had already come to the same conclusions anyway. They were as lost as her.

She waited until they left before she moved back to Higgs’ side. He’d rolled over, away from the noise and the lights. Fragile took his shoulder and pushed him back so they could look at each other.

“You can’t shut me out. Any of us. Please Higgs. Tell me what happened.”

His eyes flickered away though he didn’t roll back over. Fragile waited, but when he still didn’t respond, she tried asking again.

“We have worked together for years. Not just for the job, but for the people. For each other. No one can help you if you do not talk.”

Higgs’ eyes flickered to her before looking away again. “Nothing’s going to help anyways.”

“Higgs—”

“Nothing matters.”

She stared at him. She was frustrated, confused, and she hated how he wouldn’t stop claiming that nothing mattered anymore. She tried to argue, but he essentially said the same thing, just worded differently. This wasn’t helping anyone. Fragile could understand that Higgs had gone through something traumatic, but he needed to snap out of it so they could all understand what the hell was going on.

Because of that, the next time Higgs repeated his mantra of, “Nothing matters anymore,” Fragile slapped him hard across the face.

He finally shot up. One hand held his red cheek. It seemed the sudden stimulus had broken through. “Ow! What the hell Fragile!”

“You said nothing matters anymore,” she said with a shrug. “So neither does that.”

“That’s-that’s not what I meant—wait.” Higgs touched at his chest. He pulled his shirt back and looked down. “No, no, no! Where is it? Where is it?!”

“What?”

“My quipu.” His body quickly turned around, but it wasn’t in the room with them.

However, Fragile said, “I didn’t see them take anything off you. I thought you always wore it.”

“I do…her!”

“Amelie?”

“She-no. No she can’t fucking have it—”

An energy built up inside the room. It was similar to what had stopped Fragile from jumping before. Now that she wasn’t being choked, she recognized it as coming off of Higgs. He was expelling it, and he was going to—

“Don’t you fucking dare,” growled Fragile as she grabbed Higgs and kept him there. “If we are now assuming her warning about the Beach was to you and not Sam, then going back now is the stupidest thing you could possibly do! Do you understand that Higgs?”

The energy started to dispel itself. Higgs’ scrunched up his shirt in the place where his quipu should have been. “Yes,” he whispered.

“Good,” sighed Fragile. Her hand let go when she was sure Higgs wasn’t going to jump to the Beach. She sat down and moved herself as close as possible without getting on the bed. “Now, you said nothing matters anymore. So does that mean I don’t? Sam doesn’t?”

“You matter, or course you do,” whispered Higgs. It seemed that slap had successfully gotten him out of the numbing cloak he’d previously wrapped himself in. Now Fragile could fully see the weight resting on his shoulders that he’d been trying to ignore. She understood how badly he must have wanted to push himself away, but Fragile couldn’t deal with that. Even seeing Higgs broken was better than seeing him crazed or without emotion. She watched him close his eyes. Pinpricks of black tears formed in the corners as he whispered, “But we can’t stop what’s coming. We can’t.”

“What? Extinction? How is it going to start?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well do you know how Amelie is trying to stop it? Working backwards could give us some answers—”

“She will start this,” interrupted Higgs.

“But…that doesn’t make any sense. She’s been telling Cliff that she’s been trying to stop this for years.”

“Then she lied.”

“Why would she? What does she have to gain?” Fragile paused as she tried to think through her own questions. “Perhaps she needed our cooperation. I don’t understand why Cliff would be singled out though. Maybe there isn’t a reason? Out of some sick malice? Could the chiral network be the reason?” She finally looked to Higgs.

“I don’t know Fragile. I really don’t.”

“Well what did she say to you? Were you shown anything?”

“I can’t explain it.”

“We need to know—”

“I can’t Fragile! I really can’t! The best I can give is-is random bits of visions and words that seemed to be left in my head, but unless you experience what I did, you can’t make sense of it. Do you understand? It doesn’t matter how many fucking allegories and metaphors and descriptive fucking language I use. If you haven’t been to hell, then you just can’t fucking know!”

“Ok, ok. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Fragile replied. She reached out and took Higgs’ hand. She was thankful when he didn’t pull away.

More small, black tears fell from his eyes. “I know. I…I didn’t mean to yell. Just…it can’t be explained. I’m trying to think of how I could do that and I just…I can’t.”

“Ok. We’ll try to figure this out another way then. Målingen is already hard at work studying the samples she took. Maybe she’ll find something.”

“Maybe.” Higgs didn’t sound hopeful, but he didn’t outright deny it.

“Can you eat?”

Higgs tiredly rubbed his face. “Why? There isn’t a point anymore.”

“I’m just going to automatically make that a yes.”

That at least got an unexpected snort out of Higgs. Already he was beginning to feel more and more like himself even as the damage still stayed like a raw, festering wound across his entire body.

Fragile had some food brought to them so Higgs wasn’t alone. She ate with him, neither saying anything right in the moment. At least he seemed to finally be strong enough to keep from turning numb on her. Once they were finished eating, he even asked her a question.

“How did I get here? Or…or have I been out for that long?” The way he spoke made it clear that the time spent on the other side didn’t match up with the time on Earth. Fragile didn’t bother asking exactly how long it had been since she didn’t think Higgs would have given a clear answer. If she had to guess though, she would have said he was stuck there for far longer than the time that had passed on Earth.

“Not long. I believe a full day has passed, but you got here because I jumped you.”

“Wait, really?” Higgs actually seemed excited for her and it made Fragile finally smile.

“Yes, though I am surprised. I did not think it possible. But Sam assured me it was.”

“Well yeah, it was you trying it. You would have figured it out eventually,” Higgs replied. “Thank you though. Really.”

“Of course. I’m just glad you are with us again. I thought…I didn’t know what would happen.”

“I know I was…back here. For a second before getting pulled back. But I honestly can’t remember it.”

“Well you woke up screaming, right as BTs arrived of course. Then you began sobbing and then you just…you started laughing. It was honestly more chilling than the first scream.”

“I’m sorry,” Higgs whispered again.

“You couldn’t have helped it. I am just glad you are here now.”

Higgs didn’t look so sure, but he didn’t argue. Not long after, Målingen finally joined them. If she had deduced anything from the results thus far, she didn’t say. There would hopefully be time for that later. It was clear that at the moment, she just wanted to comfort Higgs. She hugged him hard and he did respond in kind. They all softly talked for a moment, more around the issue at hand than directly about it.

Once some more time passed, Fragile checked the hour and decided it was about time she see if Sam had made it yet. She told Målingen and Higgs that and informed them they would be back soon. A lot of conflicting emotions showed on Higgs’ face at the mention of Sam and the fact he would hopefully see him soon. Not all of the emotions Fragile could decipher. Some honestly made her heart break a little. But best not to waste time now. She would hopefully be able to grab Sam and be back here in just a few minutes.

Fragile left, arriving at the destination for the order. Sam wasn’t there and there wasn’t a sign that the order had been dropped off. She decided to wait a bit before actively searching for him to see where he was. She supposed after dropping Sam in South Knot, she should check on Cliff as well. Probably the best option would be to take him and the children to their home in Middle Knot. Then she could take Cliff to see Higgs if he was comfortable leaving Bethe alone. Maybe Lockne could watch after her. Or Målingen.

The thought made Fragile let out another tired sigh. Either way, she would be doing a lot of jumping in the coming days. She could already see it.

A little more time passed and she finally spotted Sam on the horizon. She’d trusted he would make it to the destination safely, but the tension in her shoulders eased all the same. She jumped to meet him.

“Is Higgs—”

“Awake and with Målingen,” replied Fragile. She explained what she could as they finished the last leg of the journey.

Near the end of it, Sam admitted, “I’d wondered that. About Amelie? Couldn’t think of how it made sense. Still can’t. But who else could it be?”

“Could be a thing. Not a who.”

“But then Målingen will find some genetic, scientific explanation. Right? Because there has to be a reason.”

“I hope there is a reason. A reason we can understand, and right now, Amelie attempting to start extinction makes no sense.”

“Agreed. And my dad?”

They came up to the terminal for the prepper in need. As Sam started to put everything in, Fragile told him when she’d last seen Cliff. “After I move you to South Knot, I will check again. We’ll see what’s best for him and the girls.”

Sam nodded in agreement. After finishing the order and speaking with the prepper for a quick second, Sam went ahead and put in the rest of his equipment to be taken apart as materials. It was doubtful he would be coming straight back to this location anyways. Best to put those parts to some use rather than just letting them rust.

“Ready?”

He nodded again. Their foreheads pressed together as Fragile held him. A few seconds passed and—

Sam breathed a sigh of relief at being in South Knot. They’d jumped right outside the room. Sam walked in. Målingen had been talking but she stopped upon hearing them enter. Sam looked to Higgs and for a split second, he seemed a little better than Fragile had described to Sam. A little color had returned. Higgs was sitting up, had seemingly just been in conversation with Målingen. He looked himself, most importantly of all. But then Higgs’ eyes met Sam’s. He looked happy, relieved at seeing Sam.

But then an understanding passed through Higgs that Sam just didn’t get. The realization turned the relief to horror and before anyone could do anything, Higgs was covering his mouth and sobbing again. Sam rushed over.

“I’m here. Higgs? I’m here.”

Higgs grabbed him in a crushing grip as Fragile also came to his side. They stayed silent but gave him as much physical comfort as they could. The sobbing came and went in waves that gradually grew weaker and weaker until no more sound escaped Higgs’ lips. His body just shook as his hands moved to grip Sam more tightly and his face pressed harder against Sam’s shoulder.

When Higgs spoke, it was muffled. Målingen leaned forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What did you say?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He moved his head so that he could be heard, but he didn’t let up from hugging Sam. It was as if he was afraid it might be the last time he could.

Sam ran his fingers through Higgs’ hair. “S’ok.”

“You have us Higgs. We won’t ever let you be alone,” Fragile murmured. She hated how it didn’t seem he believed her, but it was the best she could give him at the moment.

She waited a little longer as Higgs got a hold of himself. Thankfully, he had Sam and Målingen now. Only when she felt like he would be alright for now did she say, “I’m going to go see Cliff now. Then we can all hopefully plan for what we’re going to do next.”

“Alright. I think I may be finding a common factor in the results I’m getting, but I’m still not sure,” Målingen added. “I’ll go back to my lab to look at them when you return.”

Fragile nodded. She took out her umbrella. “I’ll see you all in a bit then. Higgs?”

He slightly turned towards her.

“You still have us. Remember that, please.”

He opened his mouth. He looked like he was going to say something more in depth but just fell on, “I will. Please come back soon.”

“I promise,” Fragile replied. And then she jumped back to Capital Knot.


	28. A Knot with Amelie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I just wanted to note how this story is now the longest thing I've ever written and that is just seriously awesome! Second, the next couple of chapters may end up being pretty long depending on how things go. I know what's going to happen in each of them, but I certainly don't want to rush this ending so it may take a little longer to get those out. Also have a lot of things due next week and I'm still trying to navigate school and work in the midst of the pandemic. I'll be hard at work on those chapters, I promise! The wait just may be a little longer than it recently has been.
> 
> With that being said, thank you all as always for reading this story and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Cliff’s mind was quickly working as Fragile left. She hadn’t named a reason for what was happening to Higgs. Technically, it could have been anything. However, a deep dread filled the pit of his stomach as the rising anger mixed with it. He couldn’t just turn around and force answers out of Bridget. But he could try and find the other source.

He turned to John. “Take me to where Deadman would be.”

John nodded and briskly changed pace. Neither talked as they dodged around the Bridges workers and headed through the hallways. They went to a different level, entering laboratory type structures where they passed men and women hard at work. A door slid open, finally revealing Deadman as he looked over Lou. Bethe was practically glued to his side, her eyes critically following every move.

“Ah, Director,” Deadman said. “There were some interesting findings in this BB.”

John didn’t get a chance to respond and Cliff said, “I need my child back. Now.”

“You are temporarily keeping ownership of the BB, yes, but you are not the child’s father and I am not done with my—”

It was John who interrupted. “Deadman, you’ve gathered enough data. You can make your conclusions from what you have.”

“I must insist Director—”

“You can complain about this later. As of now, Cliff is my priority. If he wishes to watch over his children again, including the BB, then he can take charge of them again.”

Deadman let out a tired sigh. He started to put Lou down and Bethe immediately snatched her back up and walked over to Cliff. Deadman said, “We could be losing valuable information on the function of the BBs. Even learning something of their original purpose and lost history—”

“We’ll talk about this later,” John interrupted again. Even as he helped Cliff, he still seemed to be working to keep the secrets of Bridget. But his focus was Cliff for now. He asked, “What do you need from me?”

“Somewhere private.”

“I’ll get you a room here, so you don’t have to go back to the distribution center. Follow me.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Bethe.

“I’ll tell you in a moment,” sighed Cliff.

She worriedly looked down. Thankfully, by now she’d come to trust that Cliff would never keep anything from her. But she could tell that it wasn’t the right moment to discuss it now. She tried to regain some control and said, “I watched out for Lou! Just like I promised I would.”

“I’m proud of you for doing so,” Cliff murmured.

“Deadman said she had to be reset. Otherwise she’d cease living-well he said functioning. But basically the same thing. He said she might not remember me or any of us, but she reconnected right away!”

“Well of course. It would be criminal to forget someone like you,” Cliff said. He was trying to be kind. He was trying to show her he was incredibly grateful for her looking after Lou. But he couldn’t quite shake the dread that had settled on his shoulders.

Bethe saw that too. She smiled, but it was tinged in worry and fear of the unspoken.

Eventually, John slowed and let them enter an identical private room. He took Cliff’s arm and murmured, “Tell me if you need anything else. Anything.”

“I will. Tell me when Bridget is well enough to talk again.”

John nodded. He let them be as Cliff went straight to the bed and sat down. Bethe hugged Lou tightly against her chest as she sat beside him. Her curiosity was brimming from her. She desperately wanted to know that she shouldn’t be as worried as she was. But Cliff had to break the illusion. Despite how difficult it was to say, he managed it.

“Higgs has been hurt.”

Immediately a million questions came tumbling out of Bethe’s mouth? What hurt him? Who? Was he being treated? Was he awake? Where was he? Could they go now? She would gladly take whatever journey, even on foot to see him. Her speech only slowed when Cliff put a hand against her cheek.

“What you’re asking to do is incredibly kind. But he is in South Knot right now. It would take over a week, from Lake Knot or Middle Knot City, and neither do I feel comfortable having him transported home right now.”

“He can’t jump then? With Fragile?”

“I think it would be best if he didn’t, yes.”

“Then…the warning about the Beach? You said it was Sam, but is it…Higgs isn’t…”

She was a quick learner. Understanding passed over her face in an instant. The worry turned to full blown fear. “H-he’s going to be alright. Isn’t he? I have to see him. I have to!”

“I know. I know, Bethe,” whispered Cliff as he hugged her and Lou. “But we need to plan first. And I need to make sure that our assumptions are right.”

“You’re going to see her then? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Better me than anyone else, and we need answers,” sighed Cliff. “I promise you that afterwards, we will figure out a plan and I will try to get you to Higgs as soon as possible. But we need to understand what is wrong with him and why if possible.”

She nodded in understanding. “I can look out for you then! At least from here. If…if something seems to go wrong, I can grab the Director of Bridges, right? We can trust him?”

“Yes, you can,” Cliff promised. “Hopefully it won’t come to that, but go to John if you go to anyone. He will take care of you until Fragile returns.”

“But that’s only if you can’t come back. Which you’re going to anyways. Right?”

“I will try my hardest for you girls. I’m not leaving you, or anyone else, that easily.”

Bethe nodded in understanding. “I’ll keep watch then. Like I did with Lou. Are you going to go now?”

“I’m going to try. Best to get this out of the way as soon as possible. But I may not even be able to find her.”

“I got it. I’ll still be here.”

“Thank you,” murmured Cliff. He gave her a small kiss on the forehead and placed his hand over Lou for a second. Then he turned away and closed his eyes.

He let his mind go empty. The senses that were around him dulled and emptied away. Bethe and Lou beside him. The hard bed underneath him. Even the white light on his eye lids started to fade. He’d never begun the descent into the Beach so easily, but he’d never carried this new emotion with him. Could he be wrong? Could there be something more than simply Amelie hurting Higgs for no reason? Yes, but that didn’t squelch the anger.

Cliff hadn’t even seen him yet, but Fragile’s face, her story. He’d shown his worry in front of Bethe despite trying to hide it. He’d attempted not to scare her, to make her think it would be ok despite how the doubt had stayed with her. Now though, without her right in front of him, the rage at what had happened to Higgs could finally be shown too. He was still his boy. He was his son in all the ways that mattered. He’d been alone, scared. He’d been shown things he never should have seen. Cliff didn’t know exactly what that had been done to him. He couldn’t even be sure Higgs would wake up.

And the anger at that, at failing to keep his children safe, to do the one thing a father should always strive to do, it drove him into the Beach.

But the entire field was different.

He wasn’t on Amelie’s Beach, but he could recognize the feeling as a Beach, even if it looked like nothing he’d seen before. BTs in the shape of soldiers fought and died over broken structures. A war waged around Cliff. It should have been more of note, but then amongst the noise and the commotion, he felt her moving about.

“Amelie!”

He ducked under fire. Along the way, he picked up the tools and ammo around him. No longer did he feel like an old man. He felt like he had in his prime, leading a squadron and dodging enemy fire. Not only could he feel her, but he heard her. An echo in his head that had an origin he just couldn’t quite pin down.

Somehow this all felt familiar. It was like a memory coming off a mirror, or an echo that was on the tip of his tongue rather than going into his ears. But his focus was all on Amelie. Everything else got pushed to the side except for his immediate surroundings.

After a time, he seemed to discover that enemy fire didn’t seem to hurt him. The lost souls at war were only at it with each other. Cliff’s interruption of the scene didn’t affect them, so he moved freely. Still searching, still probing out—

“Amelie!”

Anger roared through him as he caught a sight of red. Something told him to fire, so he did. He could tell bullets made their mark, but she disappeared behind a broken, brick wall. He followed. Her voice still seemed to come from an omnipresent place, but as he grew closer, the origin grew a little clearer. He slid down into some trenches. He turned a corner and—

He fired at her form. He made contact again. He knew he did, but she just kept walking away.

The pattern continued for a while. Cliff followed. He fired, and then she disappeared again. But he was gradually getting closer. She was getting easier to find. She seemed to be growing weaker. Cliff’s pace quickened. He arrived at a crossroads in the trenches at the same time she did. He fired into her, but instead of disappearing, this time her body hit the ground.

Cliff quickly moved forward. He holstered his gun and came up to her still body. His hand came out, ready to turn her over—

Her hand shot up. She grabbed his arm and pulled herself to her feet. Moving in close, she said, “Even in this version, you will wage a war to find your child. No matter who it is.”

A torrential wind blew. Gray sand slid in, tearing up the battlefield and covering everything. Amelie’s presence could be felt and suddenly, they were on her Beach again. The war was gone along with Cliff’s gun and the memory of youth. He grabbed her arm, keeping her from pulling away.

“What did you do to Higgs?” growled Cliff. “What did you do?!”

But despite him feeling like he was holding her, her physical form slipped away. She was suddenly several feet off, her dress black and her hand slowly taking off the quipu that hung around her neck. She held it out to Cliff. “I told you to protect him.”

“You didn’t tell me shit!” Cliff responded. He walked forward, snatching the quipu back from her. “What did you do to him? Why would you hurt him? What the hell do you have to gain from it!”

“Nothing.”

“Are you telling me you scarred my child, you left him _screaming_ and _crazed_ , and you did it for no fucking reason!”

That seemed to cause a feeling of anger to rise in her. It was the first time she’d ever really shown such a harsh emotion as her eyes narrowed and her mouth formed into a thin line. “I don’t want this Cliff! I don’t! But attempts to undo what I am stopping are in place. The chiral network didn’t bring the information we hoped. It didn’t hold the key we were trying to find to end this, and now it is taking advantage of our misstep.” She stopped. Grew silent. Her eyes flickered away. “Or maybe there never was a solution for us to find.”

Cliff grew nearer as he carefully took note of her speech. It still sounded like her, yet there was something different mixed in. “Amelie?” She looked up. “Bridget?”

A bittersweet smile showed on her face.

Cliff’s own anger was still there, but it was no longer so directed. His mind tried to work quickly as he stepped closer again so that they were right next to each other.

“You say you didn’t want it, but you did take Higgs. You hurt him.”

“And I am so sorry Cliff, for every pain that I have caused you. Even now, in trying to fix it, I have only caused you more pain again, but this isn’t something I can stop. I was fighting against the inevitable. We all were.”

Everything turned red. Technically the person in front of him didn’t change. Yet he couldn’t recognize Amelie, the woman he had talked with for well over a decade. He couldn’t even recognize Bridget. The pressure that was being exerted was all crushing. She moved through him, was somehow behind him with her hand over his mouth.

In a voice that couldn’t even be described as human in sound, she said, “Welcome to the end times.”

And Cliff opened his eyes. Gasping, desperate attempts at breathing escaped his lips, each one just as painful as the last like it was the first time his lungs had ever expanded. He would have fallen against the floor if not for John’s arms holding him up. Cliff grabbed him to steady himself before looking up. Bethe’s eyes were wide. She clutched Lou tightly and the little baby reached out as far as she could, her hand touching the edge of the pod.

“It’s ok. I’ve got you. Just lean back,” John said.

Cliff did so. He felt like he’d gotten hit with a whole mountain, but at least his breathing was growing under control. His hand slowly unclenched from the painful fists they’d been in, revealing Higgs’ quipu in his right hand.

Bethe’s eyes went wider, but she didn’t say anything right away.

“What happened?” asked Cliff.

“I was coming to speak with you when I was informed the kid was looking for me as well.”

Cliff looked to Bethe. “How long was I gone?”

“Hours. I…I wasn’t exactly keeping track, but it seemed far too long. A-and then I saw something in the sink’s mirror. A woman in a red dress with blonde hair sitting beside you. But only in the mirror. I…I felt like that was important enough to get the Director.”

“You made the right call,” Cliff sighed. He looked to John. “And you were coming to…”

“It’s about the president.”

John opened his mouth to explain more, but an odd feeling swept through Cliff. He still didn’t fully understand the relationship between Amelie and Bridget. Bridget hadn’t even gotten a chance to explain it herself and Amelie had always talked in circles. However, saying they were one and the same seemed to simplistic, but they were closer than a mother and daughter could ever be. He knew Amelie. He knew how she should have been, talked, but there had been elements of Bridget in this last moment as well. It had almost been like he’d heard her, speaking alongside Amelie, or using her lips. Bridget had never been on the Beach before though. If she was now, then…

Before John could say it, Cliff let out a tired sigh. “She’s dead. Isn’t she?”

“How did you know?”

“I met with her, on the Beach. Or a part of her, when I met with Amelie.”

“That shouldn’t be possible.”

“I don’t think a lot of things should be possible right now, but they are,” sighed Cliff. “Did she say anything before she went?”

“No, I’m sorry. She passed in her sleep. But the order she claimed she had for you is accessible now, but only through your own cufflinks. I was given the information that you must be made aware of it before someone transports her body to the incinerator.”

Cliff frowned. What had Bridget left for him? Why leave anything at all? Was it her will, Amelie’s, or whatever thing Cliff had last seen before leaving the Beach? Was it a trick? Or a failsafe? Had Bridget and Amelie really given up in their goals, or had they simply been forced to hide them? He needed to know.

“Show me how to open it.”

John helped him and then the holographic image appeared over the cufflink. Bethe and Lou came near as Cliff went to the only request waiting for him. Bethe leaned over but John stayed where he was, likely following an order by Bridget that it be for Cliff’s eyes only. Bethe spoke first on it though. Her eyes went between Cliff and John.

“But that’s impossible!”

John let out a tired sigh. “The president said that it must be done to understand where our world is headed. Her words, not mine. But it is only you that can accept it Cliff.”

Cliff’s eyes traveled over the words again. “If I’m to accept this, then that means I will be the one transporting her body. Not to the incinerator though. To Heartman’s lab in the mountains.”

Now it was John’s turn to be confused. “But no form of transport that we have, even if it was completely reliable, wouldn’t get you there in time.”

“Not with any normal corpse, no. But I doubt this request was given with the intention that it would fail.” Even if it did, Cliff could survive the ensuing voidout, but somehow, he doubted a voidout would occur with Bridget.

“Even if that’s true, she needs to be moved now before those that are aware of her death grow suspicious then. They’ll expect her to be taken out quietly and quickly to an incinerator.”

Cliff nodded in agreement. “If you can make sure everything is prepared, I just need to decide what’s best to do with the girls.”

“Alright. I’ll contact you when the delivery is ready to begin.”

John got up to leave and Bethe immediately turned to Cliff. “I’m not going home,” she said.

“Bethe, please—”

“No! I want to see Higgs! I know he can’t be moved, or at least shouldn’t be. That means I’d have to travel on foot to South Knot. I need to do that Cliff. I need to make sure he’s ok.”

Cliff let out a tired sigh. He wanted to just keep her safe, to keep her away from any and all conflict. There was no telling what Amelie might try with Higgs again, even outside of the Beach if that were possible. But they were family. She needed to see her brother, and hopefully being with her would do Higgs some good considering traveling might not be an option for him for some time.

With that decided, he took Higgs’ quipu and handed it to her. He put a warm hand on Lou’s pod, wishing he could hold her and kiss the top of her head just to comfort her. He said, “Then you can take that to Higgs, and I ask you to watch over Lou on the journey. There’s no telling what my journey might hold, but at the very least it will be an incredibly long one. Lou deserves safety during that time. Take her to South Knot and watch out for her.”

“I will,” she promised.

“Ok. I’ll get it set up with Fragile so that you move with one of her units. First, I need to prepare for this.”

Bethe nodded in understanding. She stayed with Lou as Cliff finally took a shower. Then he went to put on the gear and to grab anything that might be needed for the long trip. He would have to walk to Port Knot, take the ship across, and then still walk all the way up into the mountains. A bike would help make the journey easier in many of the parts but wouldn’t be possible in all. It would still take several weeks, at least a month if not longer.

Would the scientist be given enough time to analyze what he needed to? Even if the corpse didn’t necrotize, would Cliff make the journey in time? He didn’t know. He just had to trust that there was a reason to this, that Bridget and Amelie’s attempts to stop extinction weren’t all lies. Despite how there was no love lost between them, Cliff had always felt that Amelie’s goals were genuine, even if convoluted and a bit hard to understand. And that thing, doused in red and in the shape of a person, it hadn’t been Amelie or Bridget. Nothing of them besides a bare resemblance in shape had been left.

Cliff had always wondered why Amelie couldn’t give plain answers. Maybe it still had something to do with how Amelie and Bridget coexisted, but he’d also wondered if something had stopped her from talking. He’d originally thought it could be Bridget when he’d still only known them as ‘mother’ and ‘daughter’. Now he felt certain that the thing he’d seen had played some role in all this. But what was it? Why cause extinction? Would there be enough time to find out?

He at least had to try.

Bethe and Lou were ready and waiting when he was done. Two seconds later, Fragile suddenly appeared. Cliff wasn’t so much surprised by her appearance as by the marks on her neck. “What happened?”

“I could ask the same of you.”

“I look that bad?” sighed Cliff.

“Like you just fought a one-man war,” Fragile said. “As for me, I can explain later. First, what plan are we going to execute?”

“I need you to take Bethe and Lou across ground zero. Then have a group of your company escort them to South Knot.”

Fragile nodded in understanding. “I’ll have it arranged.” To Bethe, she added, “Don’t worry, Higgs is awake now. I know he’ll be happy to see you.”

A little bit of the stress left Bethe’s shoulders, though it probably wouldn’t be completely alleviated until she saw Higgs again.

“And can I ask why you’re not going?” asked Fragile, noting how he had only said for the children.

“There’s a delivery I need to complete. Once you make sure Bethe and Lou are safe, you can find me and I’ll explain what I can. And you explain what’s happened at South Knot so far.”

“It’s important that you leave that quickly then?”

“It is. But I promise to explain what I can once I’m on the road.”

Fragile nodded. “Alright, Bethe, get ready.”

“Good luck,” Cliff said.

“I’ll protect Lou. I promise.”

“I know you will,” Cliff murmured. He kissed her softly and then nodded at Fragile. “I’ll see you soon?”

“As soon as I possibly can,” she replied. “Good luck to you too.”

“Thank you.”

As Fragile helped Bethe and Lou jump to Lake Knot, Cliff left the room and went in search of John. It wasn’t difficult to find him. Deadman was with him along with the carefully wrapped body of Bridget.

“A shame, she was taken when she was,” sighed Deadman. “And with Amelie out of contact, that leaves you as the acting president, Director.”

John let out a long, tired sigh. “We’ll talk about that later. Cliff. The children are taken care of then?”

“Fragile has them. I’m ready.”

“This is who will transport the president?” questioned Deadman. “The incinerator is not far, but certainly someone with quicker footing would be preferred.”

“It was her last request,” replied John.

“Of course. And even with age, I am sure you will accomplish this mission in no time,” sighed Deadman. “My apologies for doubting you. Still, I wish you could have given me more time with the BB. She is a remarkable study.”

“She, and not it?” asked Cliff.

“What can I say? She makes quite an impression,” laughed Deadman. “Maybe your philosophy carries some weight. Anyways, good luck on your journeys Clifford Unger. Until we meet again.”

With that, Deadman walked out as Cliff went to the body. Once the door was firmly shut, Cliff said, “So he doesn’t know the true order? Or playing dumb?”

“Hard to say with Deadman. He’s much more perceptive than he lets on, though I don’t believe he was ever given direct word like you and I.” As Cliff turned around, John started to move the body. He helped him situate it onto his back and Cliff got up with a tired grunt. They turned back to each other. “I don’t expect a daily update, but thanks to the chiral network, I would appreciate knowing how the journey goes.”

“I can do that using the cufflink?”

“Yes. Anywhere you are.”

“I will then. Thank you for your help in this.”

“I’m sorry you couldn’t get all the answers you wanted.”

“It was something. Either way, I think this may finally be coming to an end. Though what that end might be…” Cliff didn’t finish the thought, simply letting out another tired sigh. He looked back and took John’s hand. They grasped each other’s forearms. Both were old men now and had arguably lived past their era of time. Saying goodbye back then had been necessary. It was the same again, yet this one felt more final.

They pulled each other into a hug. Cliff rested his head against John’s shoulder before slowly pulling away. A small smile spread across Cliff’s face. “Good luck, president.”

“It’s not even official,” John said with a soft groan.

“True, but you chose your place. That includes the possibilities of contingencies, like now. You’ll do fine John. I know you’ve come a long way from the soldier everyone just called Die-Hardman.”

“Well if I have your support, I suppose I will do alright, sir.”

“John.”

“I had to do it. Just…one last time.”

So, John felt it too. Things were finally drawing to a close after years of unknowns. But there was still no telling how it would all finally end. The hugged again and then Cliff finally began to walk away. A bike was waiting for him at the opening of the facility. He drove out of the city and onto the gently rolling land in front of him. He’d grown used to being alone for a while after Sam and Higgs had really grown up. They’d visited plenty, but there had still been weeks where it was simply Cliff and his new patterns of living.

But then he’d gotten Callisto, Lou, even Bethe. He’d grown used to taking care of children again. If he could choose any end for himself within the current conditions, he would have chosen that. But now his boy needed him. All his children, all the people he’d come to care about could be in danger. This could be his end, not the one he would have chosen, but one he would just as gladly take if necessary for the safety of all of them and their world.

He used the bike through the majority of the territory on the east. The section where he’d been careful and slow through when he’d been with Lou and Bethe he now drove through quickly. The bike easily shifted left and right within Cliff’s control. He dodged around mules who quickly turned away upon seeing all he really had was a corpse on his back.

Good time was made, but he eventually left the bike at the last major distribution center to be reused for materials before getting to Port Knot. It would honestly be quicker on foot with how uneven the areas could be and the common occurrence of BTs in some parts.

It was up in those more mountainous regions that Fragile found him again. She appeared, walking right by him as she hooked her device back onto her hip.

“Did it take long, searching for me?”

“I was more focused,” she admitted. “That first time in Capital Knot I had…begun to panic. I can admit that. I should have simply focused in on your location.”

“It worked out in the end.” Cliff looked to what he could see of her neck. Several days had passed. The bruising had gone from dark and ugly to yellow already. Before he asked on that though, he said, “Lou and Bethe?”

“In good, capable hands. I made sure of that. I also needed to see how the rest of the company was doing. I’d been away from my regular duties longer than I was comfortable with considering what happened with Higgs.”

“I understand. And the bruising?”

She finally explained, retelling exactly how Higgs had woken up and the ensuing confusion afterwards. She repeated what Higgs had told her and filled in what gaps he’d hinted at but still hadn’t fully gone into. She looked to Cliff. “You are not surprised it’s Amelie. I wasn’t exactly surprised either, but I am confused.”

“As am I. I went to her, after your first visit. I needed answers as well.”

“So, what happened to you?”

They swapped stories. It confused them, angered them, made them more fearful for Higgs, but still didn’t exactly explain anything. Cliff included the beginning aspects as well, his moving through a war filled Beach before Amelie had swept in and hers had dominated.

“Was it…your Beach?” asked Fragile.

“No. It was familiar, but I’ve been able to recognize whenever I was on Amelie’s Beach, mine, or even Sam’s the few times we’ve talked through it. I was on a Beach, but I couldn’t tell you who it belonged to.”

“Hmm, perhaps once you get to Heartman, he’ll be able to tell you more.”

“Hopefully he can tell us more about all of this. It’s really the only thing we have.”

“I agree.” Fragile looked to the corpse on his back. “It’s been quite a long time since the body should have necrotized. But there’s really been no sign?”

“None.”

“Has it even decomposed? It seems to move more like an unconscious, living person than a dead load.”

“I’ve noticed that. I haven’t checked, not that it would really explain anything more for me. But something odd is happening to her body that hasn’t happened with any other corpse to my understanding.”

“Hopefully Heartman will have answers for us,” Fragile sighed. She looked forward and added, “I have the ship waiting for you. I can accompany you the rest of the way if you like.”

“Thank you. I’ll take you up on that.”

With that, at least the east side wasn’t finished alone. At Port Knot, Fragile spoke for Cliff on the unusual nature of the corpse. She claimed it was part of an art piece for a scientist in the mountains. The people bought it, and Cliff was able to bring the corpse on board the ship. He and Fragile said goodbye with promises to of course keep in touch if something new occurred. Since Cliff had the cufflinks, he could send a message to her while on the journey if necessary. He promised to do so if the need arose.

Once everything was taken care of and all Cliff had to worry about was the ship ride across ground zero, he sent a message to John.

He gave a brief, but detailed account of where he was now and the general elapsed time of the expedition thus far. He paused, at first planning to leave it at that, and then added one last detail. He spoke of an old memory when they’d both served. Did John remember that time to?

Cliff knew he would say yes, but it was a small, almost normal query that Cliff needed in these strange times. With John updated now, Cliff took to resting and recovering as best he could on the ship. Once it landed in Lake Knot, he would be on the road again.


	29. A Knot with Extinction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE I am back!
> 
> I realize this has been such a long time coming. I'm so sorry I couldn't bring myself to write for this story but as I promised I would not abandon it and I still won't. With the first year anniversary of Death Stranding coming up, I've decided I really want to finish it before then (though definitely not making any promises this time haha). But as before, I still know exactly what I want for the last two chapters and I will write them (hopefully with less time in between, but again, no promises).
> 
> Before we really begin to go into the end, thank you all for reading and leaving comments over these last months, especially as we now live in a very different world compared to the one that this story entered. Seeing how people were waiting for the next chapter and continued to comment really helped me not lose faith in this story even while I was trying to muster up the mojo to write it. It is now officially the longest story I have ever written and will probably remain that way for a very long time.
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me. Thank you all for reading this. And hopefully this chapter and the last two can help distract you from the current troubles of the world. Thank you all <3

The images wouldn’t leave Higgs’ head.

There still didn’t seem to be a way to fully describe what he saw-continued to see. But they were there. Behind his eyes. Screaming in his ears. Appearing in flashes and constantly staying in his dreams. Even if his mind could successfully shut it down, the black tears were a constant reminder. They never fully stopped. Even when they slowed, Higgs couldn’t scrub away the marks.

Stained black tears. Under his lower eyelids. Down his cheeks.

Perhaps they would never go away.

He managed to somewhat smile when Bethe and Lou finally made it down south. They had brought his quipu with them. That basically confirmed that Amelie had taken it before somehow passing it on to Cliff. Had it been a mistake? Circumstance? Done just to fuck with Higgs’ head all the more? He didn’t know. At least having it back around his throat helped to counteract the tears somewhat. It was a constant reminder of Sam. Of where he had come from even with the horrors that continued to exist inside.

With the children down there, Lockne and Callisto soon joined them thanks to Fragile. Lockne mostly smiled and pretended things were ok, probably for the kids, but Higgs could tell that everything Målingen knew, Lockne knew as well.

Around Sam, or if one of the twins were alone, there was less a need to pretend. Higgs didn’t force as many smiles. He didn’t laugh as much. But he didn’t let it all out. He couldn’t. The look on Sam’s face when his screams had turned to deranged cackles. Fragile’s reaction after just being choked by him. Not hating him but clearly thinking he had lost it. Higgs couldn’t deal with that again.

So he kept most of it inside and the days quickly turned to weeks.

Cliff sent plenty of messages. They helped a little though Higgs knew it would be a long time before they would see each other again. He had to complete his mission after all.

Fragile had been the one to inform Higgs and the others on that. The oddity that was the former president and her body. Something had to come of it. A secret. An understanding. Anything to make this all come to an end!

But all Higgs could do was wait.

He couldn’t help Cliff. Couldn’t help Sam on his deliveries or Fragile and the company. He wasn’t even helping the twins with their tests as results came up inconclusive or meaningless again and again. He couldn’t even look after the kids. Not like how an adult should with a baby and a BB. Instead, Bethe seemed to take up that mantle, watching Lou and babysitting Callisto as Lockne and Målingen worked. Couldn’t have the crazy man watching them after all. Always on the verge of breaking down. Of crying. Of falling back into the indescribable pain that was the Beach and his head.

Time was meaningless. Each day seemed to drag on for an eternity.

At first, Higgs tried keeping a journal again in order to keep his mind busy. He’d stopped the motions when work had become a much more arduous journey. But the attempt only reminded him of his old journals as a child. That led his mind to his old uncle and his cursed words.

_You’re a demon! A monster! You’re wrong!_

Oh how Cliff and Sam, how all those Higgs considered friends had worked to change those thoughts. His former father figure had been wrong. He had been cruel for absolutely no reason. Been cruel to Bethe in different ways but just as evil. However, even though his uncle’s conclusions had been wrongly made at the time, there was a callous irony to what was happening now.

Because Higgs felt wrong.

He felt like he was slipping.

Sometimes as he pushed himself off his bed to go to the bathroom or take a shower, he would walk over sand. Occasionally, he caught a glimpse of red in a reflection. Even saw that golden mask that had been shoved over his face appearing right behind him.

Was this his fault?

He wondered that too. Maybe if he had never found that body, found out about his odd connection to death. Perhaps if he hadn’t kept using it, kept pulling from the other side, would that have saved him from this hell?

There was no way of knowing, and even as he suffered, he didn’t think he would have done differently. His actions had been to help others. To protect them and lift the burden from Sam’s shoulders. He’d done it not because he wanted to see BTs, but because doing so could improve an order’s progress. Because he could use the fluctuating DOOMS to protect his fellow porters from mules and terrorists—

_And he’d done it for the power. Power that daddy had always held over him. A power that was finally his and he could do with it as he pleased. Running his company wasn’t enough. Partnering with Fragile Express wasn’t enough. He needed more. Wanted more. Could finally have more—_

Higgs was slipping.

He dreamed that he was holding Sam up by his neck. That Fragile, with an old, wrinkled hand, punched him on the Beach. Knocked him to the ground and held a gun to his head. He saw Cliff dripping with black and Målingen dead.

He saw her. Amelie.

At the center of before and now. The eye of the dream and the Beach. A constant thing that tormented Higgs with death and a blood red sea and plastic baby dolls. And she pulled his strings. Held him up like a marionette—

Or she had. Or was doing so. Only in a different…place?

Higgs was losing his mind.

And Sam was noticing. Fragile was noticing when she managed to spare a moment to visit him. But even they didn’t see just how much he was breaking. They couldn’t. Couldn’t understand. If Higgs let them, he was too afraid of driving them insane as well. He had to keep protecting them and—

And what?

Solve this on his own? He wasn’t even allowed to leave the medical bay of South Knot! And he sure as shit wasn’t going back to the Beach. At least not willingly. He had a feeling that once that happened, there would be no coming back, and he couldn’t risk that unless he knew for sure he could fight off Amelie’s influence.

But why do this to him in the first place? Why put these visions in his head?

One thought at least seemed somewhat promising as he mentioned it to Målingen during one of the tests.

“What if the connection was never with death. What if it was always Amelie. Or the president or whatever the hell she is now.”

Lockne quickly turned on her heels. “You think she gave you your abilities?”

“That doesn’t make sense though,” Målingen immediately argued. “His DOOMS is different, sure, but it’s still genetically there once you know what to look for. That would imply she was the one to change his very makeup and we’re still looking at this from the point of view that she’s human.”

“Well maybe she’s connected in a similar way. There’s a knot between her and Higgs that we can’t see yet.”

“Perhaps. But we don’t know anything about Amelie except the story that she was born on the Beach. Only considering what occurred between her and Bridget, that story could have easily been fabricated to hide…whatever she is.”

“Do you think she’s a BT?”

“BTs have never been known to maintain so much of their former self though.”

“According to the theories, great chiral creatures can form out of BTs. Though not corroborated, there are reports of these creatures even forming in very timefall heavy areas or right before a voidout occurs. Maybe that’s what she is.”

“But that’s just conjecture. How can we test that?”

The twins just kept going with their ideas and plans. But every possible hypothesis that left their lips caused a reaction. Not from Higgs, but from the woman as she stood right behind Målingen.

Her dress was black now. Higgs didn’t know the significance of that. Didn’t understand if there was some secret meaning that he was missing. He only knew that she still looked like Amelia as she calmly shook her head at everything the twins were saying.

“They are closer than you might think. But still we look in the wrong direction.”

A low, dark chuckle escaped Higgs’ lips. The words that left him came out in an unfamiliar tone. “What? Trying to help me now?” The words came from him. The voice was his. But there was now a sadistic flamboyancy there that had never come from Higgs before. His lips automatically twisted into a cruel smile as Amelie just sadly looked on.

“W-we are trying to help you Higgs. That’s what all this is,” Målingen murmured. She’d automatically scooted her chair back as Lockne said at the same time, “I’m sorry it seems we’re getting nowhere, but we are trying.”

Higgs finally focused back on them. “I wasn’t…” He looked back to Amelie, only she was no longer there. “I didn’t mean it like that. Just tired. I should probably get back to my room.”

“That might be for the best,” Lockne sighed. “Are you sure it’s only that though?”

The twins looked at him with their large, searching eyes. Higgs had to force himself not to look away as the half truth fell from his lips.

“There’s nothing else I can tell you now that would help.”

And so with that, Higgs continued to keep the insanity inside. He felt so fucking lost. He missed Sam every day he was out on an order. Yet when he stopped by, that couldn’t even give Higgs a sweet moment of reprieve as dark, horrendous thoughts began to grow within him.

He needed to get to Sam.

To stop him.

To fight him.

To prove something to him.

_To hurt him—_

Higgs’ room was almost permanently covered in grey sand, not that anyone else seemed to ever notice. After weeks of nothing, Fragile and Sam walked along that sand together, telling him the news that Higgs feared would lead nowhere.

“Cliff has finally arrived at Heartman’s home,” Fragile said. “I will jump Sam there. I will jump there. The twins and yourself will accompany us through hologram as will the new president of the UCA.”

“John,” Sam softly murmured as a reminder.

“And what Heartman will find?” asked Higgs.

“I cannot say.”

“He’ll find something,” Sam replied.

“If he doesn’t though?”

“Something else then.”

How could they know that? They couldn’t! What if nothing could be discerned? What if an ending came before they knew how to prepare?!

But Higgs didn’t say anything. He just nodded as his chiral tears continued to fall. By now, he’d already stopped brushing them away, knowing it pointless.

“We all have each other,” Sam added. “No matter what Heartman finds, we have that.”

“Yeah. Guess we do,” replied Higgs. But even as he said that, it felt like a lie. Not him. He didn’t have them. He didn’t have anyone. His ending was coming. Everything was falling apart, would fall apart. Amelie would abandon him-destroy him.

_His life had never had meaning. But with everyone hurtling towards the end, he could give his death meaning by helping it along. He would gain power, he would be the hero that would finally put the period to the slow, malingering tale that was humanity. Everything was going to end—_

Somehow, Sam’s voice brought him out of his head. “You’ll be alright. Even if nothing is found here, we’ll still figure out what her plans is.”

“We will help you,” agreed Fragile.

Higgs couldn’t bring himself to believe them. But at least he felt some sense of peace at hearing them say it.

“Are you going now?” he whispered.

“In a few minutes. Yes. Heartman has already begun his examination,” explained Fragile.

“No point in being there for that,” Sam added.

“We thought you might enjoy the company for a meal. Before we head to the mountains.”

“Thank you.”

And so they ate. The children joining them and Målingen and Lockne stopping by near the end too. They were trying to make it feel normal. This was supposed to be helping him. This was supposed to give Higgs a sense of normalcy.

Instead it just felt like some kind of final supper right up until—

Fragile stood. “It is time. We will set up communication the moment we arrive.”

“I don’t understand why I can’t stay,” sighed Bethe.

“We’ll tell you what we find out. Won’t we Higgs?” said Målingen.

“Yes. Someone has to watch out for the kids anyways. And you’re already such a good big sister.”

That at least caused Bethe to smile. “I am. Aren’t I?”

“You are,” agreed Higgs as he took her in and hugged her.

Hugged her tight. Not their first meeting. But a rare meeting. _So many different times he had made it to this age, this point in his life, and he hadn’t even known she existed, or perhaps she didn’t exist period in another—_

Higgs’ mind focused again as he let her go. He watched the kids leave. Watched as Fragile took hold of Sam and they vanished in a small puff only for holograms of themselves, Cliff, and Heartman to appear. A few seconds later and the new president of the UCA appeared as well. The connection was poor, even with the chiral network in place. Higgs had heard from Sam and the others that the storms and timefall had gotten so bad that they were even affecting the chiral network. Higgs just hadn’t realized how bad as the images shifted and the sound moved like a wave, though it never fully went away.

“Higgs,” murmured Cliff. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to see you sooner. I’ll have Fragile take me straight to South Knot when we are done here.”

“You had important work to do. But it will be good to see you. In person that is.”

Cliff smiled. Yet Higgs couldn’t bring himself to return it. Something was coming. Things were finally falling to fruition. Higgs looked to Heartman as the man started talking.

“I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. It is good to see you Higgs, Fragile. But I fear that is where pleasantries must end.” Heartman moved. On Higgs’ end, the body of Bridget Strand appeared. She was still in what Cliff had carried her in, only with the zipper down and her face slightly revealed. She was perfectly preserved. “Before I even begin with what I have seen here, I must divulge what Cliff and I discussed before we all came together.”

Judging by Sam’s and Fragile’s reactions, they didn’t know what had been discussed either. All eyes were on Heartman except for Cliff’s. His eyes were closed, pain written across his face even with the bad connection.

“You see, the Beach is not simply a place. It is a bridge. Many have called it a bridge to the other side. I know this to be true to some extent as well.” Heartman’s face momentarily darkened. They all knew why. “But with the current theories I have been working with and some circumstantial evidence, I believe the Beach can also be described as another world. Or even a guide to other worlds. An example of this is a battlefield that Cliff actually experienced himself in his last confrontation with Amelie and the president.

“An endless warzone, a Beach with its own rules to our own, brought on by the memories and thoughts of the commonalities between soldiers. Cliff gave far more detail than I could hope to dream of as to what such a place was like. But then he gave me even more. Information about our dear president. Of knowing her and not. Of familiarity that couldn’t be explained by our current universe. But perhaps it can be explained by another universe. Another Beach with information that Cliff was able to gain and was somehow connected to. Information that has helped him to choose his actions in the here and now.

“And what does this have to do with Bridget? With Amelie? You see, she is what has allowed it. Has opened up this hole and has led to the Beach leaking more and more into our universe and possibly others. She is the thing that connects us all.”

“She and not they?” asked Fragile.

Heartman nodded. He made a motion. A scene appeared with several documents on it. Heartman focused in on one.

“A chip was left with her body. I believe I should thank you President McClane.”

John gave a small nod. “One last order.”

“The secrets you promised to protect,” Cliff added. An understanding passed between them before all eyes returned to Heartman.

“These documents contain more information. More hints. And those hints I believe I am beginning to put together. To begin, here is definitive proof that I believe many of you had come to suspect. Amelie never existed. Bridget did not give birth to her and Amelie did not come to live on the Beach due to some strange illness.

“But that does not mean calling her Bridget’s daughter is completely untrue. They are related. I believe she was once the same person, but now to call her two is somewhat more accurate. Going by my theory, the ka and ha, soul and body so to speak, separated. This gave way to what we perceive as two individuals even though she is the same person simultaneously.

“This truth also means that Amelie’s DOOMS abilities were always Bridget’s as well. The highest level ever recorded, and even then I suspect she never showed us what she was truly capable of. And this? This leads me to the theory I’ve been working on for many years now. The Extinction Entity.”

Heartman continued on while everyone silently listened.

Higgs found that he soon couldn’t breath though as words and descriptions were finally put to the things that he’d seen. Extinction, the end, Amelie and Bridget and the EE all melded into one.

“What does she have to gain from doing this? Why do this?” asked Sam.

“You say that like she wants this,” Cliff told his son. “But if there is one thing I know for sure, she has always been trying to prevent what was coming. But something-I suppose this EE-has been-of course.”

“What is it?” asked the twins.

“There was always something keeping her from speaking the truth to me. That kept her walking in circles. She compared it to something innate, like a leopard and its spots. I didn’t believe her. But then I don’t think I could have ever imagined this.”

“That is exactly what this is like,” agreed Heartman. “The EE has a role to fill. It’s the balancing act meant to right the universe, yet each time life has found a way. It has evolved, grown, and despite the EE’s role meant to be a final one, its mere existence has led to life becoming more and more sturdy until a wrench was thrown into the EE’s path, into its own creation that it could never account for.”

Heartman paused for a second, leading John to quickly say, “Well don’t keep us in suspense. Heartman?”

“Consciousness. A sense of self. Individuality and the evolution of the preservation of the species. Now it is no longer about the species. It is about legacy and journey. It is about knowledge and expanding. And now this EE, our former president, Amelie, Bridget, is enacting the very thing that contradicts her existence.

“We know the Death Stranding has happened before. The fossil records show that. But it has never happened like this. It has never been such a long, and arduous process. The fallout, certainly, but not the actual Stranding itself. I believe that is in part due to the human influence upon the EE. The need to preserve, the need to fight this coming extinction that has already taken so much and yet is still trying to take more.”

“But how can we stop that?” asked Sam.

“Now that, I cannot say. There is more here than finding the right formula. This is science, but it is also philosophy, human psychology and the familial bond of all living organisms. Whatever the answer, it will not be a clear or simple one.”

Everyone started talking. Saying their own peace, how much they believed Heartman’s words. What they thought concrete and what they thought more circumstantial.

But Higgs wasn’t listening.

He was thinking.

Amelie was connected to them all. Higgs was connected to her. He’d been connected to her before, perhaps was always meant to connect to her in some way if his own mind and Heartman’s theories were to be believed.

Had he helped her instead? In a different universe? On a different Beach? Was that what he was seeing?

He didn’t care about that now though. What was important was this universe, this world. Higgs had power. His DOOMS still hadn’t disappeared since his encounter with Amelie. It was like she had opened the floodgates herself. If he truly pushed himself, if he tried, did he even have a limit? Could he possibly match her?

It was only an idea built on sand. Higgs should have spoken up. He should have asked Heartman’s opinion, the twins’.

But he was desperate and Heartman had said the answer wouldn’t be so clear cut. Higgs had access and connections ran two ways, right? He’d done nothing for weeks in trying to solve the mystery, but this, this he might be able to do.

Or die trying.

But that was the thing. He had to try because now the horrors that were flooding his mind had faces that went with it. The destruction of his family, the deaths of the twins, the loss of a future for Bethe, Callisto, and Lou.

It was those images that Higgs couldn’t live with.

He couldn’t do nothing.

He had to fight for them.

He had to save them.

He had to try!

No one noticed as he stood and stepped onto the Beach.

He was wearing nothing but the gray tank and pants standard to most porters. His feet sank slightly into the grey sand as the wind immediately danced along his skin. The sky was cloudy, almost as dark as the sand, and the waves lapped against the shore in broken, mechanical patterns. Clusters of chiral cystals, and cryobites dotted the land. Was it simply to show how the Beach had sneaked its way into their world?

Or was it to show that their world was starting to merge back with it? Merge into one until two things existed in one space before cancelling out and erasing all of existence?

Higgs slowly walked by the massive, beached things that resembled whales. The ground was uneven. The sand had his feet slightly sliding as he moved up a hill. The wind picked up. Higgs reached out, but not with his hands. He hadn’t purposefully reached for the Beach since the encounter with Amelie. Now he did and he felt it all around him. In him. Through him.

He pushed farther as he felt the black tears soak into his skin, now more than a stain. A permanent tattoo.

Higgs could see the Beach and just how far it reached out. He felt it. Felt the worlds and their living and their endings or possible endings—

It was enough information to almost push him over the edge. It would have except at the last minute he reached for his quipu. He held it in one hand and breathed in deeply. He needed to focus on the here and now, on his world. On this Beach and what he had to do.

“You always come here.”

Higgs spun around. Farther off and near one of the whales stood Amelie. She was wearing the red dress now and at least looked like herself. Not the thing that had melted his mind and screamed destruction. He supposed that was the EE. Her purpose. Her being.

He thought to act fast, but her words certainly hadn’t been the first he’d expected to hear. She seemed normal enough as well…

Instead of attacking, he started to pull on the energy around him. He wondered if she could feel it. She probably could. Could predict what he was doing. But still he pulled, waiting for the right moment to attack.

“What time do you exist in?” asked Higgs.

“I exist on the Beach.”

“And the other Beaches?”

“I am them. Even the ones you are now starting to bleed into.”

Higgs recalled the warped, disjointed memories that had felt like nightmares. “Sam—”

“Your reason for being here differs. Everyone’s does. But the pieces still somehow manage to play their parts. Now your shared desperation, in all versions of events regardless of intent, has pulled you to this moment. Is pulling you to this moment.”

Higgs opened up his hand. A curved knife solidified in it. “I can beat you.”

“You cannot escape me.”

“I can beat you!”

He was on the hill.

Then he wasn’t.

He moved around her quickly, slashing at her, even making contact at times. Her skin broke, black flowed out of her veins causing the red dress to change color, but he couldn’t quite get in the final kill he needed.

Higgs moved. One moment he was wearing only the tank and pants. The next full gear. Sometimes different colors. Sometimes something missing. Sometimes a knife in his hands. Sometimes a gun as he fired on his target. Or maybe just his hands, curled into fists of rage.

It was Amelie he was fighting.

Then Sam.

In another moment Fragile.

In another Cliff, old as he was now.

Then another Cliff, young and protected by skeletons of fire.

Higgs fought for destruction.

He fought for her.

He fought for him.

He fought to prove something.

He fought to protect.

He fought for this all to just finally end.

The reasoning was different, but the desperation and the rage directed at someone, at something, was always there.

And then Higgs’ reality stabilized. His bare feet were on the sand and only Amelie stared back with her sickeningly kind gaze as she somehow dodged the majority of his cuts and stabs.

But Higgs kept pulling. He kept dragging the Beach forward and under his control.

And then he had it!

Higgs disappeared then reappeared right in front of her. He feigned a cut, went around the back, and then grabbed Amelie around the neck. The cuts Higgs had managed to make were gone now even as her dress had somehow changed to pure black. Higgs held her close and pressed his knife into her neck.

“I’m ending this!”

Higgs started to push the blade in only for the arms to suddenly be around his neck and his knees to be in the sand.

“Oh, Higgs. You didn’t stop anything.”

Higgs was shot.

He was let go.

He died from his wounds in others.

But in this one, his neck simply cracked. The sound bounced across the expanse of the Beach in an unearthly way as his arc ended in all versions of the Beach. His body hit the ground. The sand shifted slightly before completely stilling as Higgs’ last view was that fucking Beach.


	30. A Knot with Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will you look at that! A timely update! So originally, this story was going to end here, and obviously if it still was, I would have added a good bit more to properly tie everything off for the characters. However, there will be one more final chapter after this, what will hopefully be a satisfying epilogue to the story.
> 
> Thank you as always-I'll have a much bigger thank in the final chapter-and I hope you enjoy this one. After all, didn't want to leave you all on a cliffhanger for too long <3\. No promises on the last chapter, again, but I am already beginning to work on it and do plan to have it out before Death Stranding's first anniversary, hopefully even sooner than that.
> 
> Also, for those who like playlists, I made one final one for this story if you're interested: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4K3d8sr6QQO2xlQa7Rwmlh?si=ZS_zvmqASgKUUozXxQVpig
> 
> With all that said, thank you again and enjoy!

So many things Cliff had once taken for granted no longer applied. The questions he had carried with him for well over two decades were finally getting answers. Yet still no answers on how to stop it. Amelie and Bridget’s role was still confusing as well, though perhaps a little clearer. She had always been trying to stop this. Her actions, the programs she had supported, was all possibly to learn more. To get the scientists in Bridges and the UCA connected.

It had worked. At least to an extent. Målingen and Lockne’s invention had connected Heartman to them and to others around him. It had gotten him access to his research and the evidence of what the Death Stranding was and its natural purpose.

Cliff looked to John.

His friend. Both men of another time. He had protected her secrets, yet even he clearly hadn’t understood exactly what he was protecting. And now he stood to protect the UCA from what was meant to be the final extinction without knowing how.

Suddenly, the connection went dead and the hologram disappeared.

Cliff looked to where Higgs and the twins had just been standing, but they were gone too.

Sam’s eyes quickly turned to Heartman. “That shouldn’t be happening.”

Heartman moved to a screen. “The chiral network is failing.”

“The weather is getting worse,” said Fragile as she looked out the window.

“These readings have been increasing over time. Evidence of the further bleeding of the Beach into our world but this is…oh dear. My apologies.”

And with that, Heartman dropped dead having turned off the vocal alarm in order to talk to everyone without interruption.

Sam shook his head. “Shit.”

“There is nothing that can be done here for the next three minutes,” Fragile said.

“I can stay,” Sam replied. “Just to keep Heartman in the loop. See what else he had to say.” Sam looked up to his dad. “Higgs will want to see you. I’ll be fine here.”

“You sure?”

Sam nodded.

“Then I suppose we should go to South Knot.” Cliff walked over and kissed Sam’s forehead. They would likely be parted for just a moment. Cliff still felt the action necessary though. Everything was coming to a head. Bridget was dead. Amelie not seen. And this EE was preparing to finish what it saw as a long overdue process.

If only Cliff could speak to her again. He understood better how and why she had always talked the way she had. Maybe he could get more information out of her. Maybe the answers on how to stop this were even within her. She was the EE after all. She had to know something, right?

Cliff walked over to Fragile.

She flashed a small smile Sam’s way. “I will see you soon.”

“Stay safe.”

And with that, Cliff and Fragile turned to each other. He closed his eyes, a moment passed, and soon Cliff and Fragile were standing in the main entrance of South Knot’s distribution center. They both looked as several porters ran in, nearly being knocked over by the force of the winds.

“It is worse.”

“At least compared to what we saw in the mountains,” murmured Cliff. “Perhaps it’s even worse somewhere else.”

“Perhaps. Let’s move.”

They took the elevator and went lower, Cliff following Fragile to Higgs’ room.

Only he wasn’t there. Neither were the twins. Fragile looked around and then quickly headed in another direction. It turned out to be the children’s room. Bethe, Callisto, and Lou were all there. Cliff hadn’t seen them in weeks. He wished to take them all up in his arms, but now wasn’t the time for a reunion. Fragile automatically picked up Callisto who momentarily started crying from their loud entrance. The toddler calmed rather quickly though as Fragile asked, “Where is Higgs? Målingen and Lockne?”

“I don’t know,” said Bethe. “Is the meeting over?”

“For now,” Fragile murmured with a small frown on her face. She gently hugged Callisto once more and murmured, “Apologies for scaring you but I must find your mothers.” She set her down only for Bethe to jump to her feet.

“But what’s happening? Where are they now?”

“They are most likely in Målingen’s lab,” Cliff tried to reassure her. “We will let you know everything once we talk with them.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” said Cliff. “I’ll see you again soon. Continue watching after the children please?”

At least Bethe didn’t wish to argue with the task. She pushed her back up a little straighter. “Of course.”

“I love you. And you Lou, Callisto. It’s good to see you all well.” The little BB did a flip in her pod. “But I’ll be back soon. Come on Fragile.”

“Coming.”

The moment the doors were closed, Fragile said, “They were gone only a moment when the feed went down. Why would they leave the room so quickly? And risk this storm to get to their lab?”

“I would have hoped you’d have more knowledge than me.”

“No,” she sighed. “Here I will jump us to her lab. Will be safer considering what is outside.”

Cliff nodded in agreement. They turned to each other in the hallway. They disappeared only to immediately reappear in Målingen’s lab. Cliff had not had the chance to see it on many occasions, though he knew Målingen was always slightly disorganized compared to Lockne.

However, what met both Cliff’s and Fragile’s eyes was much more than a bit of disorganization. The twins, who had been running around, immediately stopped at the appearance. Målingen adjusted her glasses and her face immediately twisted into pain. Cliff’s eyes swept the area again. He took everything in. Except for—

“Where is Higgs?”

“We don’t know./He left.” They spoke at the same time, clearly ruffled and desperate for answers.

“What do you mean?” asked Cliff.

“Leave where?” asked Fragile.

“We didn’t notice until the connection went dead./He didn’t use the door to leave.”

Cliff’s eyes widened. “You mean he jumped!”

“Yes, but we don’t know where to./We tried using our instruments, a version like what we made for you, Fragile, but the storms are blocking our ability to track.”

“He has gone to confront her,” whispered Fragile. Cliff’s heart turned cold.

“Why would he do that with no back up?/He is stupid enough to do it.” The twins looked to each other. Målingen shook her head. “No, you’re right. He saw all of this before Heartman put it into words. He just couldn’t explain it. He knows better than any of us what is about to happen.”

“And now he wants to stop it,” Lockne replied.

Fragile took her device out and flipped it open. Before she could disappear though, Cliff grabbed her arm.

“You don’t know what’s waiting. You need to stay here. To help Sam get back. To keep everyone connected. To inform the president if necessary.”

“You do not mean to leave him.”

“I would never do that. But I want you to send me instead.”

“Hang on!” Målingen and Lockne cried out. Lockne said, “Just because you’re a repatriate doesn’t mean that will protect you. According to the current models, death on the Beach, no matter who it is, would be permanent.”

“So I should be more careful. Understood. But I will not leave a child of mine behind.”

“Cliff, you cannot know what is waiting there. What if you are unable to come back?”

“That implies we leave Higgs to his own devices and assume that if I can’t come back, he will most likely not come back. I refuse to believe that to be the case.”

“But what if he is lost? What if you cannot come back and finding you is impossible?” argued Fragile. “What if we never see you again? That hardly seems like an ending.”

“Life rarely wraps off so neatly,” replied Cliff. He simply held onto the fact that he’d at least seen everyone, even if he hadn’t been able to give anyone a proper goodbye on the chance this was a goodbye. “I’m Higgs’ father. In every meaning of the word that matters. I have to go.”

Målingen walked closer. She placed something into his palms. “At least take this. There is no guarantee it will work, but it is primarily made of chiral materials so it should be able to pass into the Beach with you. At least I can try to track and pinpoint you for Fragile to retrieve if that becomes necessary.”

“I still think we should wait,” sighed Lockne. “We don’t know what you’re running into.”

“Exactly. Meaning we don’t know how much time Higgs may or may not have. I will not risk that. He wouldn’t risk that for you either.”

Lockne let out a small sigh but nodded in agreement.

“Then I am to leave you to your own devices?” asked Fragile.

“It is more pertinent that you stay behind,” Målingen sighed. “I don’t say that out of bias. Your ability to keep us together is incredibly important now. Especially with the storms escalating outside.”

“Then we are finished with our debate,” argued Cliff. “We’ve wasted enough time as it is.”

“I do not know where he has gone. Remember that. I can only get you to the Beach. You will have to search for him on your own.”

“I understand.”

Fragile fully turned towards Cliff and he did the same. She took his shoulders, only to pause. “What am I to tell Sam?”

“You don’t have to tell him anything. He’ll understand. He would do the same for any of us.”

Fragile slowly nodded. She let out a soft sigh and then pressed her head to Cliff’s. “Think of him. Try to get yourself as close as possible. The Beach. And him. Search for him and—” Fragile’s hands finally closed on air alone. She looked to the twins and murmured, “Bethe is still asking questions. I think it would be best if I brought the children here.”

“I agree,” the twins said in unison. “We’ll talk to them and about what we should do next,” Målingen added. Lockne said, “And then go get Sam. Find out if there was anything else Heartman knew. Bring him, in fact. If he is willing.” Then with an added bit of softness, Målingen whispered, “Just don’t push yourself.”

“You say that like there is another that could do my job.”

“I know,” sighed Målingen. “Just promise you won’t try to go after Cliff and Higgs. At least not without telling us first.”

“I promise,” she replied. She flashed a last bittersweet smile Målingen’s way before heading to the children.

As they tried their best to remain connected and think on what to do, Cliff stepped onto the Beach. He hadn’t been back since his last conversation with Amelie when she had taken Higgs’ quipu. Not even in his dreams during the long trek to Heartman’s had he slipped onto the Beach. It looked the same, but felt remarkably different.

Cliff shivered despite himself.

He looked down and saw that he still held the device Målingen had given him. He had no idea how it worked or if it was even functioning correctly. Unable to do anything but hold onto it, he put it into a pocket. Then he began what felt like might be the longest trek of his life. As he walked along the sands, he could tell that he didn’t feel Amelie or Bridget’s presence. He couldn’t feel Higgs’ either. Just walking on the Beach didn’t seem to be getting him any closer either. Cliff’s eyes traveled to the mountains to his right. From the looks of it, he could only get so far before the rocks were unclimbable. In front of him and behind, the Beach just stretched on forever. So did the sea to his left.

Yet something about the lapping water felt different.

Before, all he’d had to do was keep walking along the Beach. It didn’t feel like either presence was here though. He looked to the water again. It was closer and at least maneuverable for a while. The mountains felt like the casing. Cliff imagined even if he was able to climb them, he would find nothing on the other side.

Cliff decided to turn towards the water. He started to wade into the surf, but it never got above his waist. It was different from the occasions where he had gone under. He wondered if he should turn back but decided on continuing his walk forward. The ground never dropped off. He never reached the ocean’s shelf. When he finally dared to look back, the Beach was gone from view.

Now, he turned to walk back towards it.

His actions couldn’t be completely explained, not even by himself. He simply needed to find his son and he was letting the water guide him there.

After a while, the Beach came into view again. Only this time, the cliffs were much closer. He looked towards a craggy edge. Upon it stood Amelie and Sam. No sense of worry immediately took over Cliff though. He looked to where they were looking and saw Bridget and John on the Beach. Only Bridget didn’t quite look like Amelie and neither did she look like the cancer riddled version of herself. It was something in between. John too, was different. He held himself differently. Wore a mask. Then they turned, seeing Cliff approach.

Words were spoken, but they washed over Cliff like the water. This wasn’t his place. He stepped to the left. Stepped out of himself and watched another him continue the journey. John dropped to his knees. Amelie forced Sam to disappear. But this wasn’t Cliff’s place to intervene.

He walked away, still in the water but alongside the Beach. After a while, he waded out farther before coming back to the Beach again. He was met with a new scene but the same characters. This wasn’t his either.

For so much of his time on the Beach, Cliff had tried to rationalize it. He’d tried to understand it. But now he just let it move him. He just thought of Higgs and tried to get to him, or the version of him that Cliff knew.

And then the water started to turn red.

It was like some great thing had broken apart, its blood slowly diluting the water until it was dark. It stained the sand that lapped onto the shore. The seafoam turned pink as it hit the Beach.

Finally, Cliff fully walked back out of the water.

He looked around. The sky began to turn dark. Great, whale like creatures washed up alongside him, the space now dotted with their corpses. His shadow lengthened, like a bright light source had appeared behind him. Cliff turned. The wind began to pick up. His eyes traveled over the dark sand. Then up into the eyes of Amelie. She stood right before him and behind her, a world on fire. Her dress was red, matching the water and the tears that fell down her face.

So similar to that first meeting all those years ago.

Cliff slowly let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Perhaps he’d been holding it since the moment he’d stepped onto the Beach.

“I confess, I don’t know what to call you anymore.”

“Call me whatever is simplest.”

Cliff had met Bridget on Earth. He had talked to her in labs, seen her cancer ridden in a bed, and had taken her body across the country. Amelie, he had met on the Beach. Though the same person, Cliff decided that at this ending, for it did feel like an ending, Amelie would do.

“Where is Higgs, Amelie?” His voice was surprisingly calm as he spoke. Whatever was about to happen, he was just an actor. Something told him the scenes were already laid out. He just had to experience them now.

“He tried to intervene. He always does.”

“Because of you?”

“Because of me.”

“If I had known…if I had realized you meant him and not Sam, could I have done anything?” Cliff murmured, his voice cracking on the last word.

Amelie’s tears came a little harder. The blood remained smeared in streaks across her cheeks. “No. He was always too useful. A safety net against my own humanity. A thing to make the end come even as I fought against it. Neither of us could ever fight that connection.”

“Higgs isn’t some thing.”

“I know,” she whispered. She bowed her head, closed one of her hands into a fist against her chest. She slowly released it and held out Higgs’ quipu once more. “I know.”

They stood in silence as the wind picked up. The world on fire seemed to come just a little closer. Cliff finally reached out. He didn’t snatch it from her like he had before. He simply took it. Held it close. Then he put it into a pocket as the tears started to fall down his own face.

“This doesn’t feel like an ending,” Cliff finally murmured.

“What? No enemy to raise the white flag against you?”

“No secret agenda. No hidden malice,” whispered Cliff.

“No,” she agreed. “Just nature.”

“You always tried to warn me.”

“I have always tried to warn. Yet I fear no one has heard.”

Cliff thought on the different version of events he’d come across. He didn’t have to explain them to her. She already understood. Somehow, he knew that. He simply said, “Do you know about them?”

“I do.”

“Then do you know what’s happening right now? In this moment?”

“No. I have been able to see all but the end.”

“Then we have passed the event horizon. Like that of a black hole.”

“Yes.”

Now that she had said it, Cliff could feel it. The Beaches he had been on, had crossed, they all led here. This was the center of it all. The end to a place with no time. A final event in a sequence of events with no order.

Amelie then stepped forward. She placed her hands in Cliff’s now, and as they moved away, an object was left there.

“You know what has to be done.”

As she turned away and began to wade into the surf, he turned the gun around in his hand. He recognized it. His gun. His old pistol. The one he had used to kill Lisa. The one he had used to hold John ‘hostage’ in order to escape.

_The one he had held at the door as he sat on the floor with his wife’s dead body and his BB…_

Perhaps…

In another life.

He took out the clip. There were bullets. He put it back in before holding the gun up to the back of Amelie’s head as she walked farther and farther away. Staring down the barrel, he saw the woman that had taken everything from him. She’d lied to him. Experimented on his wife and child. Had tried to have him killed to steal back his BB. There was no telling how many children never got a chance to grow up, how many families were damaged because of her plans.

Cliff’s finger twitched against the trigger.

And he saw a woman with the world upon her shoulders. A burden so unimaginable that even trying to compare it to his responsibility as a squad leader in the army only did it a disservice. A woman who had tried everything, sacrificing her soul to save really just anyone. A woman who had never left him alone when she could have easily abandoned him with his suspicions and blindness. A woman who had tried to the point of pain to explain what words could not. A woman who had not given up on him as she tried to reach out to those that would listen.

He slowly lowered the gun before finally dropping it into the sand.

Cliff didn’t know quite how all this had begun. He didn’t know how it would end and now, with extinction staring him right in the face, he honestly didn’t know what he could do. But he knew what he could choose to not do. He could choose to not let this last act of humanity be one of anger and blood. He had been unable to say goodbye to Sam, to Higgs, to anyone. Not properly. But if this was to be his final moments, then he chose not to go it alone.

The water started to lap at him, rising higher as he waded in after her. The burning Earth heated his skin, even as the blood water stayed cool as it rose up to his waist again. Amelie didn’t flinch. She didn’t change course or look away as Cliff walked around her. Once in front of her, he didn’t hesitate. He met her step and wrapped his arms around her. Her body continued to try and push forward as Cliff rested his cheek against hers and whispered what he believed to be his final words into her ear.

“I forgive you.”

And then she stilled.

For a moment, they just stood there. Then, ever so slowly, he felt her arms come up around him to return the hug.

“Oh, Cliff…I can’t…I can’t stop this for you…” She pulled back and looked up at him. “But maybe…”

And then Cliff sank.

His clothes were gone as he fell into the suddenly blue ocean. Everything was calm and gentle as he drifted alone. He couldn’t feel where his skin ended and the water began. Then, like a scene was somehow missing, he was breaking the surface and crawling onto the Beach, in full gear once again. He coughed up the water as his blue being slowly returned to its normal color. He looked up and saw the Beach as it had been. The gray sand was undisturbed. The green mountains remained in the background. The water was calm and the sky a dull gray with nothing hanging in it.

He pushed himself to his feet and began to walk.

Something passed which could not be called time, and yet that was the only way Cliff’s mind could conceptualize it. He sat down to take a breath and when he looked up, Amelie was walking around him.

He listened to her. It was an explanation, still confusing, but a proper one. Not based on the theories of Heartman or the twins, but her own gospel finally given. He saw her life. He saw others watching her life. Sitting on the Beach like ghosts before his eyes would look elsewhere and they would be gone.

Cliff pushed himself to his feet again.

He walked.

He sat.

And he listened.

The world did not change. His being did not change. Not until it seemed the story had been mostly bookended. He kept walking after that. Kept walking until he saw the blue form far off on the Beach. His legs continued to move at the same pace as they had, right up until he recognized the shape and then broke into a run.

Cliff collapsed next to Higgs’ body. This one didn’t disappear whenever he blinked. He was there. Still and unmoving and dead. Cliff could tell. It was his Higgs’. His boy. He pulled Higgs’ body up against his and held him. He pressed his lips to Higgs’ cold forehead and his tears fell against the still face. Cliff had known. Amelie’s words had told him enough. But seeing him here and now, his own Higgs that he had known and had raised, broke his heart. As the tears continued to fall, Cliff took out the quipu and carefully put it around Higgs’ neck. The gold stood out against the blue of death. Cliff blinked and looked up.

Amelie knelt in front of them, her dress black as she gently folded Higgs’ hands over his chest. Cliff couldn’t bring himself to be angry. Not as he watched now clean, bloodless tears fall down her own face.

They remained silent at first. It seemed only respectful. And then in a voice soft and gentle that eased into the silence rather than broke it, Amelie murmured, “It hasn’t stopped.”

“If it had, I imagine you wouldn’t be here.”

“You’ve caught on,” she murmured, a sad smile on her lips.

“I wouldn’t say that. But I know enough,” sighed Cliff. “What happens now?”

“Extinction will happen again. I will wait along this Beach until it does, and I will finally fulfill my role.”

He thought on that a moment. He couldn’t fully explain all of this, yet after what he had just experienced, what he had just walked in order to get to her and try to find Higgs, there was a new understanding. It was somewhere, deep in his mind as he murmured, “But life will have enough time to prepare. Extinction will not be an end. It will be a new beginning for whatever generation it happens to. Just as the extinctions were before now.”

Amelie nodded. “Whatever its original purpose, we have made extinction a necessary part of being, just as death is a necessary part of life. Endings do not mean no more beginnings.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Cliff returned his gaze to Higgs before saying, “I knew you before I met you. You realized how we were connected in that first meeting. How?”

“Because we are connected through the love of your children and that transcends everything, every Beach, every universe. Your want to protect your BB has caused the change of many courses. In this course, you managed to save him because you were already aware of your connection to me and how that course had occurred.”

“And now we are back again. Because of Higgs.”

“Because of another child. Yes.”

Cliff gently ran his hands through Higgs’ hair. It was so much like when Higgs had been little. Scared and unsure if he could trust Cliff. “Have I ever met him before?” Cliff whispered.

“Sometimes. More often as two chaotic forces, vying for what you want as the other stands in your way. Sometimes, you have used Higgs. His gifts. Other times, he has used you while you have lost yourself to death.”

“Then I am glad I met him in this life. That I got the chance to see him grow up into the man he could be.”

“You made him this man. Be glad you made his reason for coming a just one when so often it is one filled with hatred and chaos.”

“And the way it ends?”

“He does not always die. But it is always a sad one.”

“Then you can see past your event horizon now.”

She nodded. “Right up until the next one. I have accepted my role, and I understand it as the beginning it will bring, rather than a final end.”

Cliff sniffed. He wiped at his eyes and continued to look at Higgs. “Can you…you are the Beach. Couldn’t you—”

“Breaking the laws of life is how we got here. As I started this and then fought it before it was meant to occur. Before I even understood myself.”

Cliff shook his head. Going by what she said, it seemed just too unfair that Higgs shouldn’t have one happy ending. But if she couldn’t bring him back then maybe… “A trade then.”

“You have your life Cliff.”

“So does he, and I’ve already had my chance to live mine. More than a chance I deserve if I’m to understand what could have been. He deserves to live his. At least once.”

“You will be here. Perhaps for forever until the next extinction.”

“It seems like a small price to pay for one’s child.”

Amelie reached out. She held his cheek, her touch gentle and kind. “I knew you would say that.” She stood up and offered her hand. Cliff bent over to kiss Higgs’ forehead again. A goodbye to him, to Sam, to everyone that had become his family and friends in this. People he so easily could have never met. He gently set Higgs back onto the sand. Then, as a last thought, he pulled out the device Målingen had given him and put it under Higgs’ hands. Straightening his back, Cliff took Amelie’s hand and stepped away.

“Now what?”

“Now, I fix the last thing I took from you, and I make myself worthy of your forgiveness.” She pulled him forward. Cliff blinked and more tears fell down his face as his eyes focused. A soft smile fell on his lips.

“Thank you.”

Cliff and Amelia stepped forward.

And Higgs woke up in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask on his face.

His lungs burned as he took in a desperate gasp for air like it was his first chance to do so in years. He scrambled around. Alarms went off. He would have panicked more but familiar hands calmed him. Still he pulled off the oxygen mask, finally taking a breath of unfiltered air as he looked around at the familiar faces.

Sam’s heart finally calmed. He’d been waiting for so long. He’d rarely left Higgs’ side for fear he might miss him waking up. He’d even feared he might not wake at all. But here he was. Already rubbing at his eyes and sitting up straight.

“How long?” croaked Higgs.

“Two weeks,” said Målingen.

“Welcome back,” said Lockne.

“We were unsure if you would wake,” Fragile added as she reached over and took a glass of water. She held it up near Higgs’ lips. However, Higgs managed to take it from her, seemingly no issues with his muscles and movement despite being nearly two weeks bedridden.

“You’re…alive. We’re all alive.” Higgs sounded confused. Still relieved, but clearly uncertain about all this.

“The storm—”

“And it was just one,” interjected Lockne. “A massive supercell that seemed to stretch across the planet.”

“—seemed to reach a tipping point. Any stronger and it would have likely begun ripping apart the earth,” finished Målingen. Then together, they said, “But it just stopped.”

“Do you know why?” asked Higgs.

“Heartman is running some models with us. We have some ideas, but we’re not positive.”

Fragile took the now empty glass from him as she asked, “What can you remember?”

“I…don’t know.”

“Might be for the best.”

“Yeah. It might.”

Sam didn’t say anything. He didn’t ask about his dad. There seemed to be an undiscussed agreement amongst everyone to do the same, despite how they all wondered on where Cliff had gone.

At one point, Sam took Higgs’ hand. It was simply to remind him that he was there, that he was alive as more medical questions were asked and they checked to make sure Higgs was alright after the abnormal coma. Bethe sat on his bed and held him, thinking she had very nearly lost her only family that she’d just found. It felt good, to have everyone in the room together. For Higgs, it seemed like very little time had passed. For everyone else, there was a sense of relief, even if one very important member was missing.

Despite how no one wished to leave Higgs’ side though, it was agreed upon that they should let Higgs rest. He had just woken from a coma, but whatever he had experienced had clearly taken its own tole on him. They all prepared to leave, even Sam. However, he paused when Higgs’ grip in his hand only tightened.

Sam made a motion to the others and said, “I’ll follow you soon.”

They nodded, murmured in their agreement, and the children all waved. Even little Lou.

Then Sam looked back to Higgs and said, “I can still leave if you need to rest.”

“But you’re dad…”

“I can wait,” murmured Sam.

For a moment, it looked like Higgs might take him up on that offer. But he shook his head instead. “I need to know. He’s not here so then…”

“Still searching,” Sam murmured. He shifted so that he could sit down on the side of Higgs’ bed. “Are we going to find him?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’m—”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Sam sighed. “It was stupid. Real fucking stupid going after her. But you did what you felt you had to. And dad did what he was supposed to do as a father.”

Higgs’ eyes scrunched up. “I shouldn’t have gone.”

“Do you think you had a choice?”

“I—” Sam was thankful when Higgs didn’t immediately berate himself. Instead, he sat and seemed to honestly think it over. He let out a deep sigh when he spoke. “It felt…inevitable. Like now I don’t know what to do with myself. Like everything had been leading up to it so now…I don’t…”

Sam shrugged. “Keep living.”

“Well don’t you just have all the answers.”

“Simplest ones just work,” Sam said with an added grunt. The teasing was small, but it brought a momentary smile to both their faces. At least until Higgs touched his face again with his free hand. He’d already done it a few times, but it was only now that Sam felt comfortable commenting on it. “We tried washing them away. Just…wouldn’t leave.” The black tears seemed to be a now permanent addition.

“I guess just add them to my collection of scars.” Higgs ducked his head. An action he hadn’t done in years.

Sam gently nudged his chin up with the back of his knuckles. “You survived extinction. I’d be proud of them.”

Higgs’ lips twitched slightly. He couldn’t show a full smile though. Not when his next words were, “I don’t think…I don’t think I was always meant to know you. Like I do.”

Sam shrugged again. “So? We know each other now. We’re family now. As far as I’m counting, now is all that counts.”

“You really know how to make things simple sometimes. Huh?”

“And you overthink. Always have,” Sam said with another grunt, though a small smile followed this time. “Just…whatever we discover in the coming days, I don’t blame you. I would have given my life for both of you. I know you would do the same. And I know dad would have found either option out of the question. It was his job to get hurt for us. To take the bullet for us. To protect us. Whatever he did, he did it gladly.”

“Thank you,” whispered Higgs. “I needed to hear that.”

Sam just nodded. He squeezed Higgs’ hand and finally, Higgs let go. Sam automatically shook his hand a little. Higgs winced.

“Sorry.”

“Just been a few weeks. Here.” Sam held out his hand again. “If you need it, I’m here.”

“I’ll give you a break. But I’ll definitely take you up on the offer soon.”

“After you rest some.”

“Yeah. I just…I know I was in a coma, but I feel like I’ve never slept in this life.”

“Then sleep,” replied Sam. He got up but made sure to kiss Higgs’ forehead before he fully left his side. “We’ll all be waiting for you once you wake up.”

“I love you.”

“Love you,” murmured Sam before finally turning his back and walking out of the room. Once the door had closed behind him, Sam let out a tired sigh and leaned against it.

He was disappointed. Of course he was. But he wasn’t going to show that to Higgs. Not now when he was still so vulnerable. Later, when his head was screwed on more tightly, they could talk. Maybe his memories would even be a little more intact of what exactly happened-but no. Sam wanted to know what had happened. He wanted to know where his father was. But not enough to cause Higgs unnecessary pain. Besides, he didn’t know the details but somewhere, in Sam’s heart, he just…knew.

Two weeks had passed after all. Two weeks of Cliff disappearing. Of searching for Higgs on the Beach, finding him, and trying to pull him out of a coma. Two weeks immediately after the end should have come.

It had allowed Sam plenty of time to think.

Now they were all in Capital Knot. They had moved there due to the increased equipment and resources at their fingertips. Even Heartman was out there with them, though he had to be extra careful considering there were no padded grounds for him to just fall on. He and the twins had worked hard while Fragile had gone out and checked on her people after the great storm. Sam had helped some, especially with their people in Capital Knot. He had chosen to stay by Higgs’ side the moment they had found him though and pulled him back through.

So, while waiting, he had looked after the kids instead. Bethe, who acted like a little sister to him. Callisto, who was like a niece. And now Lou…

She had been his dad’s kid. In every sense of the word, but now Sam just didn’t know what to do with the small BB. He couldn’t abandon her. Would never. But how the hell could he help her?

As Sam walked through the facility in Capital Knot, he eventually crossed paths with the new president. The man had mostly interacted with the twins and Heartman of late, trying to figure out what was changing now with the Death Stranding. Even before then, Sam had only met the man briefly. He knew him. Knew who he was because of his dad’s stories. But they had never really talked.

Until now.

“Can I have a moment?”

“Sure,” murmured Sam. He changed course and followed the man away from others. Once alone, he noted how John’s shoulders dropped. No longer a leader. Just a man. When he turned around, he looked like he was finally allowing himself to grieve.

“I heard that Higgs woke up. Is there any word on Cliff?”

Sam gave a small shake of his head.

“Nothing? Surely he must have seen him. I was told the device Målingen left with him was given to Higgs. Something has to be there.”

“Maybe. I don’t see any reason in trying to force him to remember though. I think we all know what we need to. Involving my dad.”

John let out a long, suffering sigh. He raised his hand, like he was about to touch Sam’s shoulder, but then thought better of it. “Your father and I…there were things…I am sorry Sam. What happened to you as a child was—”

“Wasn’t how Cliff always told the story,” Sam gruffly replied. He waited to see if the older man would try to argue. When he didn’t right away, Sam added, “You paid whatever debt you had when you saved us both. He thought of you as a friend. You don’t owe him anything. You…” And here it was difficult because the words Sam was about to say applied to himself as well. He needed to say it though. He already felt it. Already knew. He just had to say it. “You don’t need to keep looking for him. He did what he had to. Nothing any of us can do to change that.”

“You’re mostly right. But there is something I owe him. I don’t wish to put this on you Sam. But for your father…for his memory if we are to talk about him now,” John said, his voice cracking on the words, “then there is something I need to do. It involves the BB Cliff has come to care for. Lou?”

“What about her?”

“I assume you’ll be taking guardianship of her?”

Sam nodded.

“Then you must understand. She is old, for a BB that is. You may have even noticed in the past weeks. Connecting her doesn’t restore her color as much. The BB isn’t as active. She is…I think it will be best if you just come with me to Deadman’s labs.”

Sam breathed in deep and let it out through his nose. No. _No no no no!_ This was the last thing his father would have wanted for Lou. He’d held onto her, fought for her when so many had argued against it. Even Sam had once said Cliff’s attempt to keep the BB would be foolhardy. That nothing good would come of it. He regretted ever saying such things. She was a part of their family now. She belonged with them!

But Sam didn’t say any of that. Maybe the only thing that Deadman or John would try and impose was how remarkable it was she had lived as long as she had. That it was time to shut her down, like a machine. But Sam couldn’t do that. He couldn’t allow it. Maybe…

If he was just lucky enough, she just might…

But still, he didn’t say anything. Nothing but, “Alright.” He made a gesture for John to lead the way and then slowly followed after him as he tried to decide what could be done for the small child.


	31. Epilogue: Five Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I managed to keep my promise and got out the final chapter before the anniversary of Death Stranding! Thank you all massively for sticking with me as this story grew and grew. I hope this ending is a satisfying one. I know not everything gets fully explained, but that's because some events and things I wanted to leave open to interpretation like the game. Hopefully that made this AU satisfying and not frustrating, though I am happy to further explain how I interpreted certain things if you want to ask.
> 
> This is officially the longest story I have ever written and I certainly don't see myself writing something this massive any time soon, if ever again. I am incredibly proud of this and I thank you again for every kudo, every comment, that inspired me to keep going and keep adding to this.
> 
> I had a blast writing it and it truly was wonderful getting to rework the world that the game started. I hope you enjoy and especially after the week the world has had, I hope the ending of this story offers some joy and much needed respite. Thank you again. I can't say it enough <3

Higgs finished scanning in the last page of the book. He closed it and walked over to place it back on the shelf. It wasn’t unlike Heartman’s old home, though this one was far more spacious. There were plenty more rooms for artistic collections and old books. The one Higgs had put away had been found up in the far northern regions within a country they hadn’t even known to exist during the Death Stranding.

What a journey that had been. It had been Higgs’ first since…

Well, since the end.

Not long after the storm that nearly encompassed all had disappeared, the timefall had stopped. BT sightings became rarer and rarer, like the Beach was slipping from their world and back into its own. The chiral crystals remained. They seemed to continually grow where the hands from the other side reached up, but no more patches formed as no new timefall or BTs created new sites.

The twins and Heartman had their theories on it. The world was evolving, forming anew as it healed from extinction. Only instead of an ice wall slowly melting and receding, the Beach was receding from them. Would the evolutionary traits that had sprung up in humanity remain? Was that the next step for the species? Abilities of DOOMS and repatriation? Further proof of the specie’s ability to adapt to new environments? Even those of another quantum, physical plane?

Answering those questions wasn’t Higgs’ area.

There was no telling exactly how life would evolve from this point as nothing concrete would likely be seen within their lifetime. Only further models and theories could possibly predict what would remain in a hundred years, what might become more prevalent, and what might disappear altogether. At least it allowed plenty of work for the scientists and researchers out there.

And with timefall and BTs no longer threats, more and more people were coming out of their bunkers. They were building more than just shelters. That didn’t mean hesitancy had disappeared too. Some feared the break in timefall was only temporary. Even Målingen and Lockne couldn’t prove it would never come back.

Unlike many, Higgs didn’t hold the same fear though.

He couldn’t fully explain it. Not with the numbers and tests the twins relied on. But something inside Higgs told him. Faith was the closest word he could attach to it. Faith in Cliff, the events of the past. Even faith in Amelie in a weird way. The memory of her was no longer so painful. Once, those eyes had haunted him. Bits of red bleeding in mixed with pain and death and finality.

But he had come to terms with it. He was living a life that wasn’t necessarily his but was one that had been gifted to him. It allowed him to do more, to try more, and considering it hadn’t originally been his, Higgs especially valued the time he now had. Each moment he had to make the most of and living in what had happened was possibly the most worthless thing he could do for his family.

So Higgs had healed. He had moved on, and all the while Sam had continued his work. Deliveries still had to be made, even more so as the increased building meant even more materials and tools needed to be transported. Then the directive from the president came to try and expand the chiral network further. Once, hundreds of countries had been connected throughout the world. Now they only knew of their own.

It had been time to reach out again. The same could have been said for Higgs. He had thought himself ready, to join Fragile and Sam once more.

But the journey had not brought him into an old job. It had brought something new.

Higgs’ eyes went over the other books on Heartman’s shelf. They were split up between scanned and unscanned, but they would eventually just be organized alphabetically by author. If the books had a recorded author. Now came the more trying part as Higgs turned back to the terminal. He pulled up the books he had managed to scan that day. Thankfully, the programs Heartman had formulated did most of the work, but it was always good to go over it with a human eye to ensure everything was labeled correctly.

There was a method now too. One that Higgs had culminated over many days such as this one, but he could still remember that first written work.

The text had been found up north, shown on good faith when Higgs had mentioned his interest in history. The owner had said what a shame it was such words, once easily accessible, were only available to those that might own a copy. And from that? The idea had sprung forth.

Delivering goods, being a porter, it had been done because there really hadn’t been much else. It had been done to stay close to Cliff and Sam. It had been done as something to do and as a way to get out. But now the world was changing. Society was coming out of its set holes and carefully crafted shelters. Higgs had been gifted moments. Moments to take advantage of and cherish, so why not spend them not just with his family, but doing what he’d always enjoyed?

Sam had chosen to still deliver. The long, silent journeys having always been ingrained in him as something to enjoy and cherish all his own. He and Fragile still worked hard, now not just within the UCA but up north too. Maybe they would even try to bridge down past South Knot City. Or even over the ocean to Capital Knot’s east. One day.

And while they did, Higgs had turned to work with Heartman. He collected texts and helped to input them into the chiral network. Heartman and other scientists within the chiral network utilized the information to further their theories and research. Higgs had even added the old book of Chinese tales the twins’ parents had gotten him for a birthday, long ago. It had been particularly enjoyable watching Heartman pick apart the mythos, catching onto the possible ties to the Beach and the further evidence of the Beach having existed closely with their world before.

Heartman was actually busy writing up a paper based on some of the texts Higgs had recently pulled, just a few rooms over. If Higgs felt like it, he might see how it was going to take a break from his own work. He enjoyed his job, but it could be time consuming and breaks were always welcomed. He could, of course, have done it at home thanks to the chiral network. However, he enjoyed Heartman’s company just as well, and sometimes being surrounded by the children was more troublesome when he was trying to focus no matter how much Higgs enjoyed them.

It was a mostly simple life. The fears of before had faded over the years. They cropped up now and again, but Higgs knew how to handle those thoughts now. Most of the time, he could just completely move past them. But if they lingered?

He simply had to wait to see a piece of his heart and the fear stilled again. Whether it be Sam, the children, the twins, even Heartman to an extent, it didn’t matter. Higgs simply needed them. He could rely on them.

With those final thoughts, Higgs put his full attention into the files. His eyes combed through them meticulously. This time, the work was more scientific in nature. It wasn’t something Higgs understood as well as plain history. Bits and pieces could still be followed though and the works could certainly make for interesting conversation starters with Heartman or the twins.

Higgs continued on for several hours.

He took a break, cleaning up his lunch and checking in on Heartman. Then another moment of work, just over two hours, and he was done. Higgs stretched just as Heartman walked in.

“I’ve decided to call it a day. Best to sleep on my work before writing up a proper conclusion to the results. And you?”

“Done,” sighed Higgs. “Almost five years of this, so many damn books, and yet I’ll probably never be out of a job.”

“Yes. I suppose that’s a comfort for you. A shame for myself, but being able to process and understand all the works of the world would be quite a ridiculous goal as well. Even if they were all in front of me now rather than waiting to be found.”

“Hey, we’re laying the groundwork for whoever comes next. Got to be comfort in that.”

“Very true. I suppose I’ll see you the day after tomorrow?”

Higgs nodded. “Sam should be back this afternoon. We’re planning to take the kids out on a hike.”

“He’s staying for several days. Right? You can take off more than one day off if you like.”

“Figured I’d let him have a day with the kids. He doesn’t get the chance as often as I do. Besides, there’s a book on the list I’ve really been excited to get my hands on.”

Heartman let out a light chuckle. “Understood. Give my regards to the others then. And I sent over a list I’d like Fragile to take out with her next time. Some of the equipment is quite vital.”

“I’ll make sure she gets it.”

“Thank you.”

And with that, Higgs gave one final stretch before stepping forward and into his own home.

Jumping again had taken a lot of courage. For a while, he’d associated it with all that had happened. With Amelie and death. But he’d eventually seen it as what it had always been, a tool. When he had first woken up, he’d been able to tell that the connection was still there. It had been like whatever had happened between him and Amelie, whatever had brought him back, had ripped that part of him wide open. No longer did he need to recharge or connect to the dead. That part of him was always accessible. He’d been afraid to use it because of that. Afraid that something could return, pull him back in, that he wouldn’t truly be himself anymore.

But the nightmares were gone.

The events were in the past.

And it was far more effective being able to jump to work and back to Middle Knot rather than the long journey that would have ensued.

Fragile had also retained her abilities. It made the time it took Sam to come home far shorter than when Higgs and Sam had been little, waiting for Cliff’s week- or month-long journeys. Other abilities that there were records of, repatriates and oddities associated with DOOMS, still seemed to be retained by the owner. At least that’s what the twins had found. The Beach may have been receding, but it had left an undeniable mark on humanity and only time would tell if those marks faded or not.

Higgs walked down the front hall of his home and into the kitchen. Though it had been decided that Middle Knot would remain their home, he and Sam had chosen to move outwards like many of the other inhabitants. The city was evolving, changing and growing. It had felt natural to move along with it. Besides, with the kids still living with them, they had needed the extra space.

Bethe was the first one Higgs spotted. His eyes briefly flickered to the younger ones, but they were distracted with drawing at the table.

His eyes moved back to Bethe. She was bent over the kitchen sink, washing something off her face. She’d grown quite a bit and was already as tall as Sam. Even though Higgs and her were biologically cousins, the similarities between them had increased as she had grown. It made them feel all the more like siblings.

The older she had gotten, the more Higgs and Sam had encouraged her to find her own thing. If she ever wished to move out, they would support that too. Talking about it could be difficult though. Even in his short time with her, Cliff had been far more of a father figure. Sam too, felt more like an older sibling and it made some of the serious conversations more awkward and difficult because of it. But Bethe was a good kid and Higgs loved her so much.

At least, she was usually a good kid as she finally turned around. What she’d apparently been washing away was dried blood and now Higgs could see the cracked skin on the knuckles of one of her hands too.

He let out a long, drawling sigh as he leaned against the doorframe. The little ones giggled at the table. They could at least understand the tone of that drawl as it usually meant someone was in trouble.

“Before you say anything—”

“Now what did Sam and I say about getting into fights?”

“Hey! In my defense, you didn’t have to deal with kids your own age. Not really.”

Higgs let out another sigh, this one a little less pointed. She had a point. Only five years and already her years of growing up had changed dramatically compared to Higgs and Sam’s own. Kids her own age had moved out of their bunkers, had moved with their parents to the new world and created a different environment. Higgs’ only friends had been Sam and the twins. The only other person close to his own age that he’d met along the way had been Fragile, and she was hardly a norm to go off of.

He walked over so he could help with treating her knuckles. He gently took her hand and started to wash it.

“Well, first things first, you didn’t punch right again. I knew Sam and I should have kept up with the sparring lessons.”

Bethe made a face. “No thanks. It always devolved into you two being gross and cheeky with each other.”

“What if I promise we won’t do that then?” laughed Higgs. The conversation quickly turned serious though as he added, “Even if you shouldn’t have gotten into another fight, there are still very real dangers out there. Sam ran into a group of mules on his last run, only these ones were only too willing to kill what with necrotization seemingly no longer occurring with the dead. It can still be dangerous out there. Even without BTs.”

“It can be dangerous in here too! The kid said our damn family was abnormal. Of course I was going to punch him.”

Higgs couldn’t help the snort that left his nose at that. Sam would have chided him if he was there, though Higgs would have known Sam would have felt the same way about the situation.

“Well, next time maybe it could go better if you simply come to me first and I have a talk with his parents?”

“You really think that would work?”

“I could also scare the crap out of him while making sure neither of you bloody the other up. I think that’s a win-win.”

“Ok, now I know Sam would not approve of that.”

“But your Aunt Fragile would.”

Bethe finally laughed, her shoulders easing a bit. “She would probably help you.”

“Oh, most definitely.”

“I just…he was just being cruel to be cruel. You know? He said it wasn’t normal that I didn’t have parents and lived with you guys. That my little niece didn’t grow properly.”

“That is a low blow,” Higgs admitted, “but instead of going to actual blows next time, just remind him how little the standard of normal is followed anymore. And if you have to, you can also kindly remind him that your big brother can jump to just about any point at any time so he better watch his fucking mouth next time.”

Bethe snorted. The way her nose crinkled up and her smile widened was so much like Higgs. Then they both spun around as they heard a very soft voice murmur, “Fuck.”

“Shit,” groaned Higgs. “And I was doing so well.”

Bethe laughed. She clearly remembered Higgs and Sam’s conversations about language around the kids, and they really had been doing well up to that point.

Higgs went and picked Lou up out of the highchair. Though technically five, or really older than that considering how long she’d been a BB, she was small for her age. She’d grown slowly, possibly because she’d been in a pod for a much longer time than Sam. But despite the delay, everything seemed to still be growing up healthy and strong. Her intelligence was closer in line to her actual age than what she physically looked like too, though she was a very quiet child and still didn’t talk much. It honestly made the situation even more amusing as Higgs lightly bounced her and said, “Now you decide to say something huh?”

Lou blinked, giving him an innocent look.

“Urgh, if you weren’t so cute, you’d be in more trouble. Those words are for grownups. Got it? You shouldn’t say it. Understand?”

A gleeful shout of a kid who definitely knew what she was doing came from across the table. “Fuck!”

“Callisto, your moms and aunt will have my head if they hear that! Take that word out of your mouth right now.”

She just showed a sly grin as Lou giggled before clinging more tightly to Higgs.

“I swear. You two will be the death of me,” groaned Higgs.

Even so, the fact that he could be having such a normal moment with them, even one that would come to bite him back in the ass, was so welcomed. Especially from Lou.

For Higgs, he hadn’t been able to say goodbye to Lou. Not when he’d thought she was gone forever. He’d been told after Sam had left. That she was just too old, too damaged. That she had to be taken to an incinerator to avoid a voidout. And Higgs had been asleep during the whole conversation.

Not only had he felt bad for putting that decision, that discussion, all on Sam, but he’d felt like he had failed Cliff in the moment too. The man had worked so fucking hard to protect Lou. To save her. And this was her ending? To be taken away and disposed of. To die before even living?

Higgs had been heartbroken, only to feel like he’d passed into a dream when Sam had returned with her breathing air rather than liquid.

At that moment, Sam and Fragile finally returned.

Sam let out a small grunt as he adjusted to the new ground. His lips twitched upwards. “You beat us.”

“Told you I probably would. Everything go well?” asked Higgs. He passed Lou onto Sam who clung to him just as tightly.

“Yes. Another successful connection. Another successful delivery. No mules or terrorists this time,” Fragile said.

“Do you think we’ll ever be rid of them?” asked Bethe.

“Perhaps…” Fragile trailed off. One of her eyebrows cocked upwards at seeing Bethe’s state. At least she looked better than when Higgs had first gotten home.

Sam finally looked over too. He sighed. “Bethe…”

“We can talk about it later,” said Higgs. “Right now, we’re just happy you’re home.”

“Yes, which reminds me, Målingen is waiting for me as well so I can’t stay long. Thank you for taking Callisto for a few days as well.”

“Hey, it’s no trouble.”

“Yeah, it’s a nice distraction for me too,” Bethe added. “And I know Lou loves the company.”

“And yet watching the little ones did not deter you from a fight,” Fragile replied.

“Hardly her fault. She gets it from me.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

Everyone had a good chuckle as Fragile went to help Callisto down. The young child said, “I learned a new word.”

“She absolutely did not.”

Everyone turned to Higgs. Fragile crossed her arms. “I am sure this will be good.”

“No, because she didn’t learn one. Callisto?”

She flashed him a perfect smile that said she wouldn’t speak of it now, but instead would wait for the absolute perfect time to drop it. God, she could be absolutely devilish at times.

Fragile waited for a second to see if either would say more. When they didn’t, she simply shook her head and took Callisto’s hand. “It’s time to get you to Lockne so I can finally meet with Målingen. Ready?”

The little girl nodded before shooting another smile towards Higgs. He pretended to lock his lips and pointed his finger at her as sternly as possible. It clearly didn’t work though as Fragile and Callisto gave a quick goodbye before going off. Sam immediately took advantage of the new space in the kitchen and gratefully collapsed at the dining table. Lou sat comfortably in his lap as he asked, “So still making progress with the collection?”

“Starting to get low again. I’ll give you a list of titles and authors were still looking for. Though—”

“Always bring back whatever I can find. I remember.”

And so they talked. Sam asked a few more questions about Higgs’ work. Most of what Higgs responded with were conversations between himself and Heartman or interesting bits of information he’d read. Then it went on to Sam. Higgs probed with some questions, but mostly Sam just mentioned the people he’d met, the roads he had taken. Some were familiar to Higgs. Others he hadn’t traveled. It brought them all into a calming comfort before Sam finally asked about Bethe’s cheek and cracked knuckles.

Even that conversation wasn’t necessarily painful though.

Sam softly chided Bethe for being so quick to react. However, he made sure she knew he was proud of her for standing up to herself. He just didn’t want her to start anymore fights if they weren’t necessary. Funnily enough, he suggested starting sparring again as well. Bethe gave him much the same answer. Sam shot Higgs a dry look as Higgs shrugged, trying to look innocent but the blush on his cheeks causing him to fail spectacularly.

And it was all so splendidly simple.

They had a life. Despite all that they had come through, not even including extinction, they managed to wake up and have such simple conversations now. Such normal moments.

Sam had defied the impossible. He’d been broken out of his pod and survived. Higgs had escaped the bunker. He’d fought to see the sky. Bethe had done the same. Lou, similar to Sam, had gotten out of her pod despite the dangers and was now a bouncing baby girl. They’d had to find their own strength in that for sure, but there was a commonality between them that had helped them get to such a perfect present. It was a commonality none of them would forget and would continue to fill the stories Sam and Higgs told Lou before she went to bed every night.

Higgs and Sam talked with Bethe. They played the role of the adults for a bit more before falling into an easier tone again. Sam went to take a shower. They made dinner. Ate. Played some word games with Lou that encouraged her to talk a bit more-thankfully she didn’t share the new word. They watched a film. Tucked Lou in. Told her a story.

And then it was time for bed.

Sam probably would have fallen asleep right away. He had walked a great many miles, even if Fragile had jumped him the last bit of the way home. However, Higgs couldn’t help but speak up as they finally laid down in bed.

“I know Bethe knows it’s around that time again but…”

“Didn’t forget,” murmured Sam. He didn’t have to ask. He understood what Higgs was referring to. Despite not trying to purposefully remember the date, they always seemed to know the day the moment it came. The others knew about what time of year it had happened, but only Sam and Higgs felt it. Like it was ingrained in their very being. “Doing alright?”

“Been alright for the last two years.”

“Doesn’t mean shit can’t come up again. You ok?”

“I am. Thanks for asking,” sighed Higgs.

He turned towards Sam. Neither quite touched, Higgs still recognizing when Sam wasn’t in the mood or could be easily overstimulated. Just being near him around this time helped. It made the regret that always started to rise in his chest that less potent, though this time it seemed to barely be there at all.

“A hike.” Sam’s words came out soft in the darkness of their room.

“Hmm?”

“Not just a word for the journey during a delivery. Not anymore.”

“Oh yeah. I remember learning that used to be a thing. I couldn’t believe people felt safe enough to just go out into nature with no reason or important destination in mind. No tools or equipment needing to be delivered.”

“Still feels weird,” admitted Sam. “Like there should be more than us just going out tomorrow with the girls, walking around for…fun.”

“Yeah. I don’t know if that feeling will ever go away. But I’ll be glad if Lou never has to think of that.”

Sam gave a slight grunt of agreement.

“I’m happy. You know?”

“I should hope so.”

“I mean it just…it all feels right. Like this really could be my life for the rest of my time here. I love my job. Far more than I ever truly enjoyed being a porter. And I miss you. I miss you and Fragile when you’re so far away but I know you’re doing what you enjoy and it makes the nights like now, when you come back for several days, all the sweeter.”

“I can go on less deliveries for a bit if you want.”

Higgs shook his head. “No, keep doing what you enjoy doing. I’m glad it’s the right fit for you and that there’s someone out there watching Fragile’s back. I don’t mind being the stay at home dad. Besides, I’ve got Bethe to help out if I need it immediately. Or I can just call Fragile on her commlinks if I need you guys right away. It works just fine.”

“Fair. Fair,” Sam said with a light laugh. “So, what’s the plan for tomorrow?”

“I already got a route planned out. Little different from the one we went on last time. It’ll be a bit longer. Figured we could pack lunch.”

“Sounds good. You sure you can’t stop working the day after though?”

“Figured you’d want some one on one time with Lou. I can hold off work though if you want.”

“No, I don’t want you to do that.”

“I could bring it home with me then.”

“And how much work would get done?”

“Eh, I’ll just think of it as a challenge for myself. If you want me here, I’ll gladly stay.”

“I’d like that.”

“Then I’ll just jump over to Heartman’s tomorrow before our hike. I’ll go ahead and send everything my way, talk to him real quick, just so I’ll be prepared the next couple of days too.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They kissed, quick and gentle for the moment as both were all too ready to fall asleep.

And not once was Cliff’s name mentioned.

It was the day of course. It was the time when Higgs had been brought back to the world of the living and Cliff lost forever. But without consciously realizing it, they’d stopped desperately searching. They’d stopped regretting and thinking of what ifs. The past was done and gone. They’d accepted it and were content with the future ahead of them.

Perhaps it was that very reason that they woke up where they did. Maybe it was pure coincidence. Either way, their eyes opened to calm, gray skies and softly lapping waves. Their hands slid through rough sand and the wind was gentle.

The Beach was still a part of their world, but Higgs hadn’t returned since extinction. Sam had searched, for a little while, but he’d always been able to tell that the place he visited was distinctly his own. No longer were the Beaches merging and warping and all leading to a point, to Amelie and extinction. All Sam had been able to feel was his.

But not now.

Now they felt something else. Something familiar, yet new. It wasn’t Sam’s Beach. It wasn’t Higgs’. But before the panic could set in, before questions like, did it ever truly end, could be brought up, they heard a voice and turned.

The man was young. He was younger than either of them had ever known him, close to their own age now. But that soft smile. The way the lines crinkled around his eyes, just not as deep now, and how he opened his hands to them. It was undeniably him.

They pushed themselves up and rushed into his arms, hugging tight as Cliff felt real and warm and there.

Even as they held him, Sam and Higgs could tell it wasn’t permanent. It was almost like there was an energy in the air. Now that they had him, it was already dissipating. Pulling Cliff back to wherever he had been all these years. But for the moment at least, he was still there. He could hold them. And as he pulled back to look at their tearstained faces, he spoke.

“I had to try and give a proper goodbye. Just once for you both. You certainly deserved that. I’m sorry if it took longer than I expected.”

They hugged him again. They didn’t mind. Getting this last chance at all, they would have been just as thankful even if it had happened decades from now. They leaned back again, looking at their father with the age gone and the weights that he had carried for decades no longer resting on his shoulders.

“Before I give that goodbye though, my boys, my beautiful children, tell me how our family has been.”

And they did.


End file.
